When I see all of these people who went through something similar to what I went through… It didn’t fail because I didn’t try hard enough, it didn’t fail because I didn’t love them enough… It failed because my partner was setting it up to fail. They thought they were winning if I was failing so they poked more holes in the bottom of the boat than I could bail out the water. Then they tried to make it all my fault. It was deception from the inception and that’s not love and I don’t have to accept that as love. That was evil and I don’t want to join myself to an evil doer. Plenty of good people in this world. This comment section is full of them.

Love your Star Wars stuff

Great information, delivered simply, clearly-also, very relatable. You frame suggestions in such an easy manner. I'm going to listen again, and take notes! You have a gift, Darren.

Found this really useful and helpful as Im experiencing trying to recover from failed relationship.I relate to most of this. Thanks.

One analogy that I like to use is that abusive people, especially in relationships are a lot like a beautiful cake that was baked, using rotten eggs. It all looks attractive and mouth-watering when they present themselves in the beginning. But the reality is that it isn't going to matter from which slice of the cake you eat, it's still distasteful and unhealthy to you. You cannot separate the rotten egg from any part of the cake, which is why as you said, Darren, you can't love them out of it. And so the answer becomes clear to you what is best for you, once you accept that this cake has rotten eggs in it. The other point I'd like to suggest is that the tendency to relive and overthink and replay also has some very good health benefits. You mentioned one, Darren, which is that it allows you to recognize the signs when it happens again. But the other great benefit is that it teaches you what you should say when you have regretted not having said it the first time around, and THAT gives you the confidence to think more clearly in the moment, react with reason rather than with over-amped emotions, or worse, shut down until the abuse stops. The end result is that you may find a newfound confidence to defend yourself. Which of course, is one of the greatest knocks to one's self-confidence--not standing up for oneself. It's a powerful cycle-breaker.

One of your best for me, I got a lot from this; needed it today, thankyou x

Brilliant topic gets to the root, of closer with the abuser, to heal for the better than before. thank you! Darren is justice revenge, in the American court system, with a unscrupulous attorney or one paid by an unscrupulous client, chasing justice.

Also my dad his mother and his aunt have used the your in my will tactic only to take me out of it at the slightest reason I grew up poor and am poor my grandma left me nothing now her sister played that game with me while finding any excuse to get ridd of me this is abusive to tell someone there in there will than look for there faults and cut them off or with hold financial help and love at there will when you are not what they want you to be what are some reasons people would do this to me it’s evil abuse to do this to someone I don’t speak to them anymore they weren’t there when I was growing up and than my wanting there approval this happened I hate wills and find it hard to trust almost anyone now this video explains it thank you

Outstanding presentation ! Thank you so very much. So helpful. Portsmouth ,NH. USA 💪👃

So helpful thanks. I just keep needing to be validated. I want to get their voices out of my head!

You are just wonderful at what you do Darren ! God keep u blessed always . Thanku 🙏🙌🙌 So clear !

Thank you so much Darren for your incredible work!! Wishing you and your family a Happy Easter 🐣❤️ from UK

Thank you for this video it is very helpful having come from divorced family and abusive dad and his family never emotionally financially not there as a child they have been very abusive since I allowed them in my life looking for validation and than them. Scapegoating me for there not being there there out of my life but the damage is done forgiveness works only for short time than the memories of abusive things said and my childhood resurface also this has let abusive relationships occur wanting acceptance my dad never had he remarried when I was little and started a new family wanting to discard my mom and my sibling and me I’ve found not trying anymore with the dad and his toxic family is the only way to recover and not allow myself in abusive relationships

Thank you 🙏

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Could do with some more videos from you.

Will you do or have you, a video on triggers, especially anger? So very quick and really frightening to think of the possibility of impulsivity. (Husband is saying in it he's goi6nf to "get a gun and shoot himself or ??- don't have one.)

hello! Please tell me what are the days you post new material and when are your lives?