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The day I chose no-contact…I grieved the loss for months. I grieved a relationship that never existed. That was the funeral.

My father was a malignant Narcissist. He did not love me. He controlled my life psychologically in ways that are too subtle and difficult to explain. He trapped my mind when I was just a toddler. He died 5yrs ago. That was the day of overwhelming freedom...I couldn't believe he was gone. I was 65yrs old. I could not shed one tear at his funeral. Unfortunately I still suffer what I believe is PTSD. I trust no one. I live alone, divorced with no children. God bless and heal all of you who have suffered and are still suffering at the hands of these evil people.

My mother was a narcissist and I was the scapegoat. When she passed I was sad for what could have been but relieved. My therapist told me it was okay to feel relieved because of all the abuse. My mother could no longer inflict any new pain on me but the old pain is definitely still there.

I think you made a wise decision to not attend your grandfather’s funeral. You know the truth and how he was.🇺🇸❤️

When my father was dying I travelled 1,000 miles to visit him. There was a question whether I would be admitted to the hospital. I was and stayed with him overnight without him speaking to me. He chatted with my brother and his wife. I bathed his forehead and played soft music for him. SIL shooed me out and took over doing that but not as well. Another time I was alone with him and he had a seizure, getting out of bed with the IV on the other side. I rang for a nurse and tried to keep him from falling and the IV from pulling out. He was too heavy for me but I prevented disaster. It took 8 nurses to get him back in bed and settled!! They praised me for my efforts. Bro and SIL passed it off when they arrived later. After he died I found out he cut me out of the will and I was not permitted to take any momentos of my mother or have any say in the funeral. I went home instead of attending and was criticized for that. I didn’t feel sorry and went on with my life.

My mother was a covert narcissist until she passed at 91. I was her caretaker for eight years after my father passed, not because I wanted to, but because I was the only family member left alive. It was a miserable 8 years for me and it ruined my health!!! When she died I was there right beside her and I could not feel anything but relief!! It has been 2 years since she passed and sometimes I miss her, but i realize that I’m missing the mother I needed not the mother I had. I did the best I could for her, not for her but I wanted to make sure I had no guilt or regret. My advice is to take care of yourself first!!

I went to two funerals in the past, they were for my narcissistic mother and father. I made a conscience decision afterwards that I would never attend another narcissist’s funeral as long as I live. And I have stood by that decision. Self-care for real 🔥

Only someone who walks on your shoes will understand why you didn't attend your grandfather's funeral. If you feel like you wanted to keep your mental well-being, you did the right choice of avoiding a narcissist

I have been "no contact" with my immediate family for about ten years now, and within the last year or two, my cousins informed me that my father is dying of cancer. My eldest cousin told me that I should call my mother, which I never did, of course. I knew that going back there, in any capacity, was going to be like throwing myself into a meat grinder. I never called, never visited, nor checked back with my cousins, as they have no idea what my sister and I went through with my mother's malignant Narcissism and my father's unending dedication to his own needs. I was invisible as a child, so now I'm a ghost in their lives as an adult.

Good for you. You passed the final test. With flying colors. Not attending their funeral was a culmination proving you had already long since cut them loose. And let them go...

It seems strange to say to you, "I'm sorry for your loss," when I know your story. What do we say in these situations? When my foster mother died in 1983, I cried briefly in front of the hospital's charge nurse. The nurse attempted to console me for, "the loss of my mother." I told her with certainty, "I'm not crying because she died. I'm crying because I'm afraid she just went to hell." Naturally, she was shocked. I never cried again. God bless you for what you are sharing with those like me. I am so thankful for you. I'm finally breathing again.

The grief is the loss of a loving family that never was. The problem I'm having is accepting the fact.

You are an amazing individual to have survived such a horrific family. I "divorced" my narcissistic mother and a few years later she became paralyzed. I knew if I gave in and went to see her that she would punish me for all the time I had not been available for her abuse. Then when she passed I did not go to the small family gathering at her burial. I know now, many years later that I did the right thing for myself. I suffered for so many years with my family's extreme abuse that I could not survive anymore of it. I am 70 years old and I still am healing from the trauma of my past.

That’s exactly it as I read one of the comments. You don’t grieve over the loss of them. You grieve over the possibilities that never happened.

This past July 2023 as I was scrolling on social media I came across a "RIP" post regarding the Paternal Narc. Since I went "No Contact" with the family I had to reach out to his ex-wife to confirm. I felt shock and then relief. I didn't shed a tear until 2 days later. I cried not because of his death, I cried for the Father I did not have. Before going "NC" I made it very clear that I will not attend any hospital besides, family gatherings or funerals. I kept my word! His wife and other daughter went and she said it was a fiasco. I heard that I'm "Crazy" and that's why I did not attend. They can tell whatever stories they want and whomever believes can keep on believing. Sing it with me, "I'm free, praise the Lord I'm free. No longer bound and no more chains holding me. My soul is resting, it's just a blessing. Praise the Lord Hallelujah I'm free"

💜 Yes, I felt relief as well! My narc mother just passed in mid-August, and I had been No Contact for years. She was terribly abusive along with my narc father and sister/Golden Child (I'm NC w/them, too), so along with the initial shock of hearing the news, I also felt relieved. ⚠ Sadly, I must warn others that I did have nightmares for a few weeks at first, so that can be part of the grieving process. I had grieved the mother I never had years ago, so that helped. [No, I did not attend any funeral services.] 💔 However, I found myself grieving the little girl I didn't get to be more during this time than anything else. My heart truly broke for that little girl! At the same time, I recalled how strong she was (how strong I was)...that little girl was still inside of me! ⚔ A lot of this can become very complex and complicated, but it's also very liberating! You--like me--are stronger than you realize; we simply need to remember that. I was my family's Scapegoat from as early as I can recall, but I remember that little girl always stood up for herself and fought back! No wonder they Scapegoated me, LOL! I imagine many of you did the same. 🙏 So, all of this to say...grieving the passing of a Narcissist is weird! Do as much of the work as you possibly can beforehand, and it will make their passing easier. Honestly, I found my own pain in rediscovering myself and then the betrayal of extended family who said they would support me and then ghosted me to be more painful than grieving the passing of my mother. That sounds terrible for a daughter to say of her mother...unless you understand what Narcissistic Abuse is really like as a Survivor. 🙏 To anyone grieving as well as @Danish Bashir: Hang in there and stay strong! God bless you all as we continue to find Peace away from the Chaos... 🙏⚔💜

My ex-husband (narcissist) passed away this past week. I have not seen him in 30 years. I felt sad also, completely relating to how you felt. Memories of abuse flooded my emotions, but I still felt bad he passed, without ever knowing how to be a decent person.

My mother passed this past February. My brother and I were not contacted by my sister and my other brother, or our father for that matter. The choice was taken from us. When I learned of her death through the one brother I am in contact with, I felt absolutely nothing. I still don't and I am glad about that. She put me through plenty and now, except for the memories, it is over. Like you, Danish, I feel any survivor's feelings are their own and need no explanation. How you feel is how you feel. My best to all. Regards.

I know how you feel Danish. My aunt who is 96 has for nearly forty years belittled me and spread a narrative within the local community that I'm bad, weird or stupid. I don't know. At 16 I had the temerity to get pregnant and had to get married. Aunty and all my cousins came to my wedding to sneer at the slag on the steps of the registry office. But when I lost my daughter who was still born at 33 weeks, they weren't so keen for my company. You're a strong bloke Danish. Blessings from Co Durham UK.

My mother left me when I was 6months old and I met her when I was 16 she was a dog hoarder and narcacist and did things to me too embarrassing to mention here. In 2020 she was dieing of cancer and my aunt asked me if I wanted to see her. I told her i was tired of trying to force my parents to be parents so I said no. If she ask for me I'll come but it has to be her idea so don't even mention me. My aunt respected my wishes and of course my mom never asked for me. I didn't go to her funeral either. I don't even know where her ashes are buried and I don't care. I never shed a tear for her not to this day. When she died it felt like a bad neighbor had moved away. What a relief I never have to be concerned with running into her again.

I learned from my bereavement counselor that with a complicated relationship such as this, we also grieve for the person we wish we had, but never experienced. Perhaps this is the source of the sadness you described. You deserved better. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself. Thank you for your honesty All the best.

I guess I'm feeling a bit emotionally delicate today, your story today really affected me. I have been touched by the stories about your past experiences. With this story today, I couldn't help visualising your grandfather as a tiny child, running and playing, totally unaware of the monstrous shadow hulking over him. In moments like these I find myself mourning the spiritual death of this innocent child, who fell prey irrevokably to that monster looming overhead -- the narcissistic monster that has spread its corrosive tentacles over tiny souls in every generation since the dawn of human kind. And while you escaped that shadow (that is, losing your soul to narcissism), you still were horrifically harmed by its toxins. And then you heard a calling to help others heal. Thank you for sharing with us ❤

Glad to hear the good news. May you be forever free -

I am saddened by your shock and painful memories. You are such a loving person and you help so many struggling people. I am proud of you for your strength in protecting yourself. You are teaching the wounded not fall back into the trap-to be attacked and traumatized all over again. God bless you for the work you do.

My father was a narcissist and he died in April 2016. He was a mean, nasty, mentally and physically abusive man. None of my siblings and I knew how to feel or react. Sadly, it seemed like I could breathe, and like a burden was lifted from my shoulders. As it did when I left my marriage of 34 years being married to a narcissist. So I felt like I was able to close two DARK AND HORRIBLE chapters of my life I was ready to be over. I attended the personal memorial our family had for him, but I would not attend his funeral. I don’t regret it to this day.

We grieve these losses when we realize they won’t ever be who we hoped and deserved. Oftentimes this grief happens well before their death. Sometimes it happens years later. Sometimes it never truly goes away.

How brave and wise of you Danish to make your choice of not attending. I think your late grandfather recognized you as enemy of the narcissistic empire that he established in your family. That's how they react in danger: with unreasonable and unjustified rage. Now, give yourself and your soul the deserved rest.

Thank you for sharing your experience Danish. My father in law just passed away last month and my son did the same thing. He did not attend the funeral, participate in any rituals like head shaving or the 13 day of full on showing off to public narcissistic ordeal. My son only went 3 days to spend time with his cousins. He stood by his healing journey by remaining no contact and not following any rules as being tried to imposed to. My inlaws always disregarded him and from their actions I can see that he's completely disowned now. My son just turned 21 and I'm so proud of him and when I'm about to give in into situations like this, I find strength through him to stand my ground as well. As you would know how difficult it may get at times like this. Keep inspiring more people Danish. Everyone need validation and encouragement during their healing journey to stand by their true healing self.

I didn’t go to my fathers either. It’s almost a flat feeling because once you recognized who they were you begin to detach for your own survival. The one that started the narcissist chain of abuse affected so many generations. Thanks for sharing.

In my experience the emotions were mostly relief, accompanied with mild grief for what might have been.

I would imagine relieved - I know that's how I will feel, sadly 😢

Now that I know about narcissism I understand why I felt little sorrow when my grandmother died. I love my mother more than ever. She was abused by her mother terribly. My grandmother. I really see it now. But I knew something even then. Mother committed suicide after numerous attempts. She died before my grandmother died of old age. I mourned her life and her passing very-much more than I felt when grandmother passed. I wasn’t sure why but I kind of knew that my grandmother was responsible for mom’s difficult life. Narcissistic people sure destroy others.

I was my grandmother’s scapegoat. I was only 13 when she died and I remember thinking l was supposed to feel sad but I absolutely didn’t.

I hope you can now let go, be free, forgive and now move forward. Forgiveness is never for the other person. Its always for yourself. I don't go to funerals anymore. Having large families is rough. God Bless You 🙏

I finally closed the door and walked away from my narcissistic parents when I was 49. 2 1/2 years ago someone passed their condolences re my fathers death. That's how I found out he'd died. I was in shock but later when I thought about it what really hit me was he chose to die with a shriveled cold heart rather than make peace. This is typical of a narcissist. I went through all the emotions but was angry no one had bothered to tell me and it HURT. He was an angry violent man his whole life and now I just feel pity for him and the family. Love and light is everything and narcissists will do EVERYTHING in their power to suck it out of us. Much appreciation for telling your story. I TOTALLY empathize with you and all the conflicting emotions you're feeling 🙏❤

Thanks for sharing. I had a somewhat similar experience many years ago and later realized I felt sadness for how the narcissistic individual missed out on life because she herself could not be vulnerable and, in turn, how that damaged her family. Tragically narcissism just keeps getting passed down through generations until someone (like those of us who are making and/or studying these channels) makes a conscious decision to break those chains and start living a different and more conscious way. The sadness I believe is just because the whole situation is tragic and for the damage done because of this 😢 🙏

I looked down at the dead body of that horrible old dead narc, specifically at her frozen dead lips, and felt relief that her filthy demeaning, degrading mouth will never spew her hate again. Finally silent, forever. Yes, I felt sad but it was a sadness for her hideous wasted hateful life and how she terrorized using her flying monkeys. She was the devil incarnate.

After watching this, it made me realize I won't be attending my father's funeral when that happens. My mother is a narcissist and I've cut contact with her, and my dad was her accomplice by allowing her reign of abuse and going along with it. He's still living, but when the time comes, I won't be attending his service due to the pain he caused and allowed. Plus there would be no avoiding my excuse for a mother if I attended. Up until now I wasn't sure how I would handle that, so thank you!

I'm so happy you stayed strong and remained detached even for a funeral. I recently did the same. It had to be that way. So many of us learning how to heal and overcoming this kind of abuse. Thank you for sharing even through your pain, as I believe it, aids in your own healing too. The shedding of tears is a gift of healing release even if it's only 2 tears. I understand what you share. You are not alone in this type of family warzone. Not all families are loving and kind. I remain kind, humble and loving, but they cannot receive me because they live under a spirit of contempt and in constant attack modes. I find peace in staying away.

What I find fascinating is that these old people who are narcissists, how their hatred keeps them from dying early.

I didn't attend my maternal grandmother's funeral because she was a covert narcissist in the worst way. Just like u, I felt numb but again, I felt relieved that she can no longer abuse me again. My mother on the other hand, I walked into the funeral home, signed the guest book so that way the rest of the family cannot accuse me of being a no show ( also signed the book on my way out as well) My mother was a narcissist as well and I took the brunt of all the abuse all because I'm disabled which qualifies me to be the family scapegoat. I walked in then walked and walked out of the funeral home. (I only stayed for 30 minutes.) My mother on the other hand, I didn't feel grief because I cannot grieve for someone I never had mentally and emotionally. If anything I felt relief that she cannot abuse me again but felt numb.

It was the finality which their death represented which hit me the hardest. Time had run out. Any hope gone. Thank you, Danish.

Sometimes I look forward to The day my narcissistic father passes, but then I realize that he has completely set the stage for the remaining members to pick up just where he left off and carry on abusing me with all continuity.

How awful he was to you. His behavior was inexcusable. Thank you for sharing and I'm very sorry you went through that and for the trauma it brought up. I truly believe that there are evil dark entities that try to steal and destroy the light from other people. 😢

Oh, Danish...I am so powerfully moved by your story, it is as though my soul melded with yours... there are so many things going through my mind... it's such a complicated quagmire to untangle. As I've written before, my own father could be so frightening... if he accused me of untrue things, no one dared come to my rescue. The day he died was almost anticlimactic... I felt as though a tornado had roared into my life and left utter devastation... then, all that's left is a landscape full of debris and that eerie silence. He's not there anymore, and it takes a while to get your bearings. You check yourself to identify the mix of body, mind and soul reactions --- I felt as though I had been spared a death sentence and wasn't sure how to proceed with this gift of new life. I learn from you, my dear friend, that compassion for yourself can conquer the evil you've had to endure. Fierce blessings!

It's a true testament to your stellar character Danish, that you were exposed to such a high degree of malignant toxicity and horrifying narcissistic abuse from your immediate family but you maintained your loving, kind and generous nature and turned your emense pain into a mission of helping others. As for your malignant narcissist grandfather, all I can say is.. it's true; Only the good die young. He led a long miserable cruel life. I was relieved to know you protected yourself by not attending his funeral. No Contact until the end 👍

I really respect your openness and honesty. You touch my heart. You might have been sad for the passing of the grandfather you wished for, deserved,and should have had.

When my diagnosed covert narcissist ex-husband passes on, I expect to go through emotions that I don't even know will come. From sadness and relief...

I will not go home either when my mother dies. I know she won't leave me anything. My older sisters will get it all. And they are narcissist as well. I don't want to hear the arguing over petty things when she dies. My mother is getting old. And i dred when she passes, because i know it will be toxic. I will not put myself or my son thru anymore abuse. I'm done. Peace be with you Brother.

Maybe a sadness for what could and should have been, a loving protective person, that was lost long ago and we knew it as a child ❤

I'll be brutally honest: I've been no-contact with narc parents since 15 years. The day I receive news about them passing away, I'll feel one emotion: RELIEF. End of story. I'm not going to attend their funeral.

This is such a timely video. 3 days before, I tried to break the no contact with my family by trying to visit my home. Only my mom was there and she did not even open the door telling how dare you left us for 2.5 years and come now. I thought that the universe itself helped me and escaped the situation narrowly. My brother and my father called back to back and shouted at me for disturbing them. They said that I should not attend their funeral also. I think it is necessary to stick to the no contact as far as possible.

I did go to my mother's funeral. I cried just once that day but I never cried before or since. Attending the funeral was about closure for me. I needed that. This was a few years ago. Since then, my recovery from narcissistic abuse has progressed quite a bit. If this stuff wasn't talked about on KZfaq, victims of narc abuse would still be in a kind of hell. Thanks for your courage in sharing this.

A person that gets angry and accuses you of something you didn't do, I would turn my back and go to stop the public shaming. Narcissistic people love to step on you in front of many people. I will not apologize. I don't care if he's my dad, my mother, or grandfather. Shame on them making public display against their close family. I will make sure not attending their funerals. It's not worth it anyway. God bless us. I don't care if no come to my funeral. That's the end of everything anyway.

Iam sorry for you that you had to be raised in such a narc family , be grateful you didn’t inherit those bad qualities, and you became a kind person , we can’t change these people , but we can be the best we can be , I felt similar to you when my narcissistic father died two years ago , unfortunately there are too many of these people around lately , it’s a pandemic of narcissists!!!

We love you and so greatly appreciate you, Danish. You are a great light and you are helping so many people to heal. Keep on, we need you and admire your courage.

When my mother died, it was largely a relief. So many people came up and offered their condolences. It seemed odd. It didn't match what I was feeling on the inside. I was leading the memorial service, so I just said,"Thank you," many times.

My father died in January. His narcissism included sexual abuse. My mother has her own narcissistic issues. He had been in prison for the last 18 and a half years. I was going through some mental issues because I was taken off a medication and it was taking a toll on me. We did not have a funeral but my brother had him cremated and didn't know what to do with the ashes. My sister wanted nothing to do with him. So in Sept, my brother shipped me the ashed and we buried him with a private graveside service. My feeling are basically nonexistent. Sometimes I wonder if I should feel something but I don't. I feel sure I'll never see him because he was given over to a reprobate mind. Never repented and claimed everyone else for what he did. I grieved a long-time ago and did all I could to help him but he made his own choices and I cannot take responsibility for those choices. I'm sure it will be the same with my mother when she passes. Once I realized what was going on, I found the best way to honor my parents was to have nothing to do with them. Also Jesus reminds us that we are to leave our mother and father when we marry. We may not always understand that wisdom at the beginning but it is wise none the less. God bless all. Sometimes it takes s long time to figure out the right thing to do. Trust your instincts.

A similar thing happened to me recently with my narcissistic father. I had gone virtually no contact with him except for sending cards in the mail, for 2 entire years. My uncle died, and I felt like I should go to the funeral to be a representative for me and my sister, but I knew my father would be there. Very similar situation. He greeted me right away to let me know what a bad person he thought I was, but I just shrugged it off and was self deprecating about it in front of others. But that wasn't enough for him, he had to figure out a way to get me alone so he could really berate me. When he was able to trick me into a corner and start the berating, I was aware that others in the room were aware. He too went back to my childhood to name reasons why I should not shun him, because he "put a roof over my head" and "co-signed a car note" for me. I stayed calm and when he pressed me for reasons for the no contact, I told him. He was shocked, like a punch to the gut. I told him he is a bully and that I am no longer going to spend time with someone who makes me feel worse than I started, when I spend time with them. I said, "I love you and I wish you all the best, I don't want anything bad to happen to you, but I don't have to put up with your behavior anymore". He pulled out all the stops to try and get me on my back foot, accusations, guilt, shame, crying, bible quoting, I stayed perfectly calm and just smiled. The old me would have started shaking and sweating and crying, but that's what staying away from certain people will do for you. You can regain an inner calm. I think you handled your last encounter with your grandfather as best you could. It sounds like you handled the emotions of his death soundly. I'm very sorry for all the years you needed better relatives to love you properly.

My mother died in Late 2020, in a nursing home, of covid. I felt pure relief.

I feel for you. Death is such a hard thing to go through. Three of my grandparents were narcissistic. My mom was narcissistic, and so is my sister. Never did I think that I would feel relieved when my mom died. She became so nasty at the end of her life. The last time I saw her, she was really mean to me, trying to make me feel like a failure. You are far from alone in feeling the way you do. Take care, Danish.

I am so sorry you were surrounded by these predators growing up, it just breaks my heart.

My condolences on your loss. I think its a testament to your character that so many of your family are narcissists and yet you escaped this pattern, you are truly blessed and should be proud of who you became. It sounds like your grandfather was envious of the fact that you had escaped this pattern and he knew that his power was not enough to break you, even to the very end.... You really did become the better person and will find peace in your life. Well done.

My father was a malignant narcissist. He got much worse to me in particular when my mom died 17 years ago. I went no contact for the last time 10 years before he died two days before Christmas 2022. He was an 18-hr drive away in a nursing home. I finally texted him 10 days before he died. And a couple days after that we FaceTimed. It was very hard. At first I thought he’d changed, but I soon learned he hadn’t. The last time we FTd, we had a nice conversation, I reassured him that all that mattered now is what he wanted. Oh the irony. He dismissed me, typical. And then he died early the next morning. I thought I was facing my demon one last time, but I provided supply one last time. The only effort I made was texting and FTing. I’d promised myself years before I’d never visit again. And I did that for myself. He made my life a living hell. And now I have a small inheritance. It doesn’t quite make up for a lifetime of abuse, but it is somewhat satisfying.

Take this as a blessing. That darkness has left your life.

Nowadays I keep on thinking of when my dad is going to pass, maybe because he started going to hospital for feeling ill.I see many feel relieved, and I realized lately that that would be exactly the feeling I will have....💔

You are an amazingly strong, insightful, intelligent and empathetic person. You should be proud of yourself for keeping your promise to yourself. I am a daughter and sister of narcissists. So I can relate to your experiences. I have a feeling that this sadness you are going through may be a sadness for the relationship you never had with your grandfather. And now there is no chance. You feel like that, because you are an empath. Don't be ashamed for being human. Feelings are selvom rational. We just have them. I wish you all the best. You so deserve that.

I listen to ur videos 24 7. My Satan mother just attacked me pure evil. Ur videos give me comfort

The tears were probably a release and the sadness was the grief of mourning what might have been if your grandfather had not been a narcissist, but someone who cared about his family. Its the reality of the death of a little dream, perhaps. Thank you for sharing. ❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤

That was so sad. But i believe it. I left my a$$ just over a year ago. No contact since. He called once 6 months ago. I didn't answer or call back. I keep listening to you say NO CONTACT. I was only with him 2 years but after i left i felt like i had been through something horrible. Im 65 and had never experienced anything like this before. Still to this day i feel anger and hurt but i will never speak to him or his 2 flying monkeys that added to my pain ever again. Thank you Danish for all the awesome knowledge. ❤

My narcissistic grandfather was also my sexual abuser. He passed away in 2013. I didn't cry when he died, I just felt numb. His grasp on everyone around me was so high that they would always praise him, especially my mother so I told her what he did to me. She believed me within seconds. I feel that allowed his grasp over her to be removed. Slowly my siblings found out and my family finally began to understand me and my struggles. For years, I lived with chronic depression, physical pain that became worse over time, and I recently discovered that I still carry PTSD because I haven't healed. It's not until last year that I got fed up of all the drama caused by my extended family who were all enablers, that I decided to create a boundary with them. Before this, I feel like I was stuck in a rut for years. I now believe that creating a very clear boundary with enablers is extremely important for the healing process, otherwise nothing really changes. I'm extremely grateful because it has been over a year, and I actually feel like things are changing for the better.

Ugg, I sooo dread my narc mother's funeral. I've been no-contact for 1.5 years but I will arrange her funeral just like I did dad's 7 years ago because my drunken brother is too far gone in the head to help. I will do it out of love and respect. What I dread are the people who will be there just to watch my reaction through the whole thing. I will be relieved so probably no tears. I am sure some of her flying monkeys will choose to attack me and my choice of words will be "thank you for your concern".

We empaths fully understand and feel you mate.... The whole Universe is watching... Our greatest mission is actually just trying to be and stay ourselves. Seeing it all being unmasked, while we just keep fighting all those feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc.... They just don't know any better....

I pray that you will forever live in peace 🙏

Maybe you were sad for what could have been, like I was. If only things could have been different… wishing for a great relationship with your Grandpa.

God bless you. 🙏 Greetings from Sweden 🇸🇪

Both of my greedy, selfish and evil grandparents passed away. I was relieved and not sad. My dad insisted on giving me some of Jan's (grandma's) old camera equipment, I think he was trying to reach out but I took that crud outside and smashed it with a sledgehammer and threw it against the giant fir tree. It's better treatment then she treated me while she was alive.

Danish, I have such respect for you! I know from my own experiences that no matter how much we think we have healed, these people and places still hold great power to wound us and destroy us in ways that I cannot fully understand. I have nothing but respect and love for you, and appreciate so very much all the things you talk about on your channel. Thank you for sharing this today and I am sending you wishes for continued healing in the days ahead.

My father and mother are emotionally abusive and have been since I was a child. I spent my life feeling as if I were a horrible person then my two oldest children told me my father had begun molesting them. No one in the family believed it. It destroyed my family but we went on to heal except for my oldest daughter. The destruction these types of people can bring onto others is pure evil.

Thank you so much for sharing with us your experience and be so supporting. My husband is narcissistic and it is very hard and traumatic to live with him. You are a great help for people like me.

The hurt never leaves. They can die, but the hurt they caused is still there. We owe them *nothing*.

I had a similar reaction to yours when my father passed away this year its just i cried for quite a long time. I think i could have and should have prayed for his pitiful soul more but somehow i wasnt able or didnt want to… and the last honest conversation i had with him few months prior to his death he also kept telling me how much he sacrificed fir my sake which of course is a complete lie it left me speechless its like a person saying the skies are not blue but purple

I think that the sadness comes from how we think it should be. The frustration to accept that this was the reality. Maybe we have a hidden inner hope that our reality is just a nightmare but it happens while we are still awake. I’m happy that you have one less cancerous human in your life. You will be fine. God bless and protect you. 🙌🏻

I am sorry for all you have been through. May your Grandfather already have found healing on the other side.

I agree with you. My parents died 2 1/2 yrs. apart.My mother 6 mos.ago. I felt little sadness for what should had been instead of abuse. I rarely seen them even though live in same county. No memorial for neither of them. I have 3 other siblings . 2 wanted what they could get of the belongings. At first i wanted something for memories then later thought no point i couldn't come up with good memories pass 5 fingers on my right hand.The bad out weighs. Too much happened in my 63 years. My grandparents died long ago.

When my mother passed I sat in the hospital next to her bed and did not know what to feel. I didn't even cry.

My covert narc ex died a couple months ago... it was very sudden and shocking... I felt very saddened by the news and even strangely guilty... he died of cancer and I had the thought that that wouldn't have happened if we were still married as I took good care of him.. but of course he didn't take good care of me... It's easy to slip into the forgetful thinking with a narc of remembering their fake personality and thinking of the nice qualities and forgetting their evil side... So I had to reconnect myself with all the things he did to ruin me... I have it written down so it's easier to reconnect with... very useful to have and then I reconnected with the anger of how I married him under a false pretense of who he was and how I loved him and did all I could to make him happy all the while he was endlessly smearing undermining and destroying me... so all the sadness and guilt disappeared...

God bless you, you have real strength, I hope to stay no contact with my entire family, no matter what happens, I'm very sure like you I will stand in my own power, these entities are beyond human comprehension. We have a similar story, well done to you😊

We are sad for what should’ve, could’ve been but wasn’t with the narcissist. Thank you Danish for sharing your experiences, it helps to know we are not alone in navigating the storms that narcissists create. I thank God for helping me and for helping you to help us too! God bless you.

Right decision not to go to the funeral. People please protect yourselves from narcissists, go and do not look back. You owe yourself peace of mind

relief, i can relate and don't feel guilty for feeling a sense of freedom from an malignant narcissistic abuser passing on

So glad you honored your decision not to attend. I will be curious to learn your father's evolution over the next weeks and months.

Thank you for sharing your story. I also felt the same way and went through the ruminating period. You’re not alone. Sending you strength and peace. 🌈

I just lost my father and I am working on the funeral. Most of his friends arent even helping me, the Church that he treated wayyy better than me and that he was so faithful for didnt even offer a penny. Maybe theyll have some food and drinks inside the Church the pastor says. Due to me helping my dad out with his finances I know that he has a little insurance to cover the funeral. Its only because of his job he used to work, not that he actively made it for us himself. He even sold his grave when he lied to me and told me he had a whole family plot. My mom wouldnt want to lie right next to him anyway. I loved my dad a lot, but I didnt like him. He only died because I stopped helping him out, and I told him plenty of times that I wont help him. He never once apologized, instead he tried to find something to be angry at me for. And after I saved his life twice, he told me he was only sick because of me. It really hurts, but what else can I do? You know what, Bashir? His whole house feels happier, there is a lightness in the air. I do feel awful for saying that.

The saddness I felt was because any life is precious, and a life gone is truly a sad loss

My mother was also a narcissist. We were estranged and when I found out that she died, I felt indifferent. I didn't find out until three months after she died. It felt like "oh, she died" and that was it. She made everyone's lives miserable. Why would I miss her?

What ever decision you have made of continuing no contact and not attending the funeral you should never have any guilt in the future for this decision.

I just went through something similar. I was shocked and didn’t feel anxiety until bedtime. I let myself feel it and two days later I’m doing good again.

While the narcissists certainly won't be going to a better place with their passing, the living sure will.