Story 1: AITA for telling my parents that they didn't do jack sh-t for me? Story 2: 4:11 AITA for telling my teenage daughter to stay with her aunt because my older daughter didn't want her in the house? Story 3: 7:42 AITA for telling my (possibly) dying sister that I’m not obligated to mend our relationship? Story 4: 12:17 AITA for breaking a promise my parents made me do when I was 18?

“My daughter doesn’t associate with strangers and neither do I” 😂😂😂😂

I just got pissed regarding the second story. You favoured a 20 year old bully and threw out a 15 year old minor who was the victim?? WTF??!

OP in story 2 is a huge AH. Yeah, kick out the younger child for being tormented by her shitty older sibling and not doing anything about it until the older child throws a tantrum for receiving payback. I'm with the comment on 7:35. This doesn't seem like an isolated incident and I get the impression there's favoritism involved concerning the eldest child. Also, it was very stupid of her to not bring her spare when shes staying elsewhere for a couple of days.

So... Laura is the golden child. She BULLIED her CHILD sister and you punished the victim when she got back at her bully. Thats disgusting.

With the Second Story it's obvious the parents have a clear sign of favoritism when it comes to their daughters. Think about it the twenty-year-old daughter who's home from college is bullying her fifteen-year-old sister who's in emotional pain from her breakup with her first boyfriend and basically tormenting her to the point of an emotional breakdown and then the next morning the 20-year old glasses are broken. And instead of basically trying to sit both girls down and get to the bottom of their behavior you send the fifteen-year-old to her aunt's house down the street to give the twenty-year- old room to breathe and study. This is not just an isolated incident this is years of mental and emotional abuse and it finally made Lily snap. If I were you I would seriously get your daughter into counseling and therapy apologize to her and tell her sister that you're going to have to stay on campus for a while because we got to get this mess on the control otherwise we may lose one daughter to another because of our enabling.

That aunt sticking up for lily was nice to see. At least someone is in that girl's corner

1. Stay no contact. 2. Awful sister she got what was coming to her. 3. Another awful sister. Move on from these toxic people. 4. Controlling parents much.

Second story: why didn’t he kicked out his older child when she wouldn’t stop torment Lily.

Damn Laura is so favored OP doesn't even see how badly he treats his youngest daughter. 'bit of a windup personality' so she's been a cruel and horrible person her whole life with your blessing? Good luck maintaining a relationship with Lily once she's old enough to dump you all.

"Too scared to be in the house with Lily" Bro

For that last story the response should be "Keep complaining and I'm moving to North America or Australia"

If you're -28 you should never go anywhere without backup glasses.

Let's clarify something upfront about grandparent 'rights'. In even the most liberal states (New York, for example) the only way that the court will enforce the concept is if there's an already established relationship. There isn't one in the first story, and OP is smart to keep it that way.

Second story: YTA. Failed to defend your youngest from the torment of the oldest. Punished the youngest for defending herself in a reasonable manner. Whoever says ‘throwing away her glasses was too much’ is fucking delusional, physical harm is too much, what she did was stopping the threat that was tormenting her, she defended herself in a non-violent way. On a side note: the only good thing that has come from this is that your youngest daughter has shown that she feels bad, indicating she is a better person than you, your wife, and your oldest daughter. On a darker note: you have, through sheer negligence on your part, taught your daughter that in life, she can only count on herself, and she will grow a tougher skin now that she has stood up for herself. Congrats on teaching her something so important.

As a mom of 2 and expecting a 3rd, I don’t get how some people have favorite children. All children are different and you love them in their own ways. Like I love my step daughter because she’s a ray of sunshine and is a tomboy. I love my son because he’s a little firecracker and he and his sister love to do outside things together! My 3rd and final baby girl is my little rainbow baby just like her brother. We’re all a big happy bunch and each child knows that they’re loved unconditionally. The first story just floored me.

#2 Your 15 yr old is in tears... And you're not upset. But your upset you're 20 year old is? You have a major problem. Your daughter should continue to live with her aunt until she's 18.

On the hospice sister. This type of Narcissistic person plays on people's emotions. . You did exactly what needs to be done. Tell you family this sister is not you problem. Block your family if they continue to harass you.

First story you're not in the wrong and quite frankly if they continue you need to get a restraining order out against both your parents and your sister not only for you but for your daughter as well. They're the type of people who don't realize Karma until it's too late.

the last one is a classic "parents: make a serious change to give their children a better life. children: live a better live. parents: how dare you not live the same way we did" situation, and I don't get why people do that.

about the older sister bullying the younger sister the correct thing to do is scolding the younger for throwing that glasses then, rage at the older girl, tell her how could she push her own sister beyond her breaking point, that bullying has consequences, and she didn't stop she'll have her college funding stopped until she can learn how to be a better human being, tell her it's a blessing for her that the revenge is only that much, instill that into her brain the parents are on the fast track to "AITA for abandoning my parents who neglect me for their golden child" by the younger girl in the future

Laura is going to need Lily one day and Lily gonna ghost her. She's going no contact as soon as she's old enough to do it. If you can't take it, don't dish it out. #TeamLily. I bet Laura won't fuck with her anymore. Knock her glasses off her face, she'll be like those 3 blind witches from Clash of the Titans.

2nd story: Don't start no S...won't be no S!! I woulda said, "yo B....ur basically blind without ur glasses, R u sure u wanna mess with me"!?!?!

Story 2: that kid did great, hope the aunt told her to do that everytime the bully treats her badly

Lily is an evil genius, diabolical I tell you. That girl is going places, popping the lenses out and keeping the frame for her to put on in the morning is just genius.

#2 Why the oldest sounds like a drama queen imo..

I know people who were legally blind (I'm actually close to it myself in one eye) , but even then they wouldn't be terrified in what I presume is a house they're familiar with. Hell, the guys I knew weren't even scared when we got sent to our duty stations.

I'm sorry, but I busted out with laughter after reading about Lily's retaliation against her asshole sister. Kudos to Lily! Laura is used to being untouched, when it comes to facing the consequences of her actions, in my opinion. Someone that is considered legally blind shouldn't be acting like a bully to anyone. Especially when that person has access to her sole source of sight. Me, personally, if I was Lily, then I would've punched Four-Eyes in the mouth, a long time ago.

the second story why wouldn't you take Laura back home. You come down on lily when you can see Laura is being an asshole to her because she's crying and in fear cause she couldn't see. Laura is an adult tell her to shut up and take her home so she can see again. The favoritism is real.

If a 20 year old and 18-19 year old fight, the parents can try to be fair. When the 20 year old is fighting with a 15 year old, that’s different. As a parent you owe your minor child protection. They are essentially still babying the older kid to the detriment of their younger gold. At age 20, she should’ve known better than to hurt her sister on purpose.

Grandparents rights only apply if they had a previous relationship to the children or can prove themselves beneficial to have in the children's AND parents lives.

I surprised that OP3 don't go permanently NC with his trash-drama-seeking sister and LC with enabler mother in the first place..

"You promised to come home after school. Come home now, or never come home!" ...uh, since OP isn't broke or banned from travel, I'm not sure how that ultimatum gets anything accomplished in the parents' favor

aren't grandparents rights only given an established if there was a pre-existing relationship with the grandchild? Asking about one of the comments someone made for the first post. I always thought grandparents rights, even in the states that have them, are given if there was a pre-existing relationship and not if they are complete strangers and have never met their grandchild before

Story #1: NTA, I was in your situation except my parents' divorce and I won't reveal the details, but I'm proud of you for what you become and keep the toxic people out of your life.

Re: grandparents rights: Don’t give them access to your daughter. This will greatly reduce their chances at grandparents rights. In principle, grandparents rights are intended to protect already established relationships. The court assumes the parent knows what’s best and usually follows the parents’ recommendation unless there are extenuating circumstances, like if the child wants the contact and there’s parental stability in question. It is extremely unlikely your broke parents have the money or the standing to get custody in court. Don’t let them establish contact and familiarize yourself with the loopholes that may open the door to grandparents rights.

With the third-story dude you need to go no contact from your mom and your sister. Because all you're doing is enabling your sister's bad behavior by saying I forgive you and quite frankly your mom's behavior for just constantly being toxic. Go no contact preserve your mental health and look out for your family and when I see your family I mean your spouse and your children everybody else has to be left behind

Story 2) if I was that daughter or the SIL I would not go back/allow a victim to go back to that obvious hell hole where your clearly abused and nobody gives a shit and will actually allow the abuse to happen!!! (If this has an update please tell me!!!)

story 2: so Laura torments Lily then when Lily finally stands up for herself and gets back at her sister you decide to punish Lily by sending her away... massive YTA, you're a terrible parent OP hope Lily goes no contact so you can have fun with your golden child alone.

Story 1: if she gets into contact with her parents again they will try to sink their claws right into the daughter.

Go no contact with the whole family until they all change

#1 Your parents emotionally and physically abused you. There's no change. There's no way for a relationship now. A hard NO!!!

The culprit here (as usual) are parents that enable bullying/name calling/abusive behavior by one child against another shrugging it off as "oh that's just how ____ is" OR clearly having a "Golden Child" who shines in their eyes and who gets the spotlight/affection/resources that the others don't. Its sad to read these examples of parental "original sin" where the question is always, why are our other children estranged? Aren't they grateful for all we've done? Don't they love us? Why won't they support us?

If my parents kept demanding I come back home, I’d be moving even further tbh. My mother manipulated me into buying a house in my home village. She told me she’d had a bad diagnosis, then claimed she’d “misunderstood” that a dr had said no cancer, she thought he said yes cancer and told me. But I later found out she told everyone else she was fine, she only misunderstood when telling me. She put an offer in with an estate agent in the name of my husband and I... the offer was accepted and the agent called to book an appointment to sign the papers. My mum then told us when our appointment was! We actually bought the house because we liked it and we did like the village, and at this point I didn’t know she wasn’t sick and then my dad had a minor stroke. Of course my mum told us it was a MAJOR “dad is gonna die!” Stroke. I also found out that she had told the medical staff that they must NOT speak to anyone but her. In the end I had to see a lawyer and get my dad to assign me as the oldest kid equal rights to dads medical and banking info and care. Once we lived in the village my mum was a pain in the effing arse. She called if she saw our bedroom light on in the night “saw your light on, are you sick?” We got in late “I was worried when your car wasn’t home, why didn’t you call to say you were late, you’re so selfish! 3am phone call. (Those are never good news) “Look outside it’s snowing”. Me “mum I have work tomorrow, it’s too late to call, I only answered cos I worried dad was sick!” “ don’t get snarky with me young lady, if it’s still snowing you won’t be going to work...” Next day I get to work “why are you at work? Why are they not closed because of the snow storm last night!?” Me “mum it was NOT a storm it was like 3 snowflakes and it was gone by morning, it’s cold out but sunny and bright!” “They should have called a snow day, put your boss on the line NOW!” Then there was stuff like realising I was watching what I eat so she’d bake a cake or pie and send it around. She’d call my husband on his mobile at work to say our lawn needed cutting... he only had time to cut it at weekends and she knew this. She’d call me at work and ask if I was stopping at the supermarket, if I was could I pick her up something... then she’d text me and it would be a full on stock up shop! Then when I told her how much it cost she’d say “did I ever ask you to pay me back for the food you cost us as a kid? My dad always took the receipt and paid me later direct from bank transfer. I stopped shopping on my way home... well that was a lie, I just left the groceries in the car until I know her shows were on tv. So yeah if your mother wants you to make everything closer... MOVE FURTHER!!!

The one with the dying sister, publicly put them both on blast - post the messages and explain what the sister did.

On the last story: ultimately, the OP was raised French, not in the culture her parents came from. She's Western. Their demand that she comes back to them? That's just going to make her resent them and, when they're older, dump them in a care-home that she'll never visit. It's definitely a cultural thing, I think, but they're controlling A's.

FINALLY A GOOD SISTER IN LAW CALLS OUT OP. This is rare!

People don’t understand grandparents rights. Being a grandparent does not entitle a person to seeing a child. Grandparents rights are established when a relationship is already established. When they have taken on a parental role they establish grandparents rights. The grandparents in story one don’t have rights

For the 2nd story: Dad, YTA and YSKYS

Story 2: Wow thats Disgusting they only consider kicking out the victim after she got tortured and humiliated. They don't deserve to be parents

Story 4 - You could consider taking your spring break/summer holiday back home. If you visit once of twice a year, that should be ok

Unable to see?, partly. Living in fear?, total BS!

Second Story what terrible parents YTA

Story 2 is a window to a parent who favor a child over the other (golden child). They never see themselves as horrible parents and always come with excuses to justify their bad parenting.

On the comment about Grandparents having rights, if they take her to court to try to get visitation OP can try to establish that they are unfit and depending on age of daughter she would have a say if she doesn't want to get to know them. Laura was too old to throw a tantrum and was being manipulative stating she was afraid of Lily. Obviously the favored child, don't expect a good relationship with Lily after she graduated and moves out. OP needs to tell Mom that his sister and him are now No Contact and if she can't accept that she can be on the No Contact list also. Same with any and all extended family members that try to intervene. OP gets to decide who is has family, no one else. Last story, OP needs to tell Mother that she only made that promise so she could leave. That she is not coming back to France until she is ready, if she is ever ready. That she is an adult now and will live her own life. Mom has other children she can control or manipulate so stop trying to guilt trip OP. If Mom doesn't like it and chooses to quit talking to OP that is Mom's decision and she can't blame OP if the Mom chooses to go NC.

I just saw the second story last night

Story 4 OP your sister and mother sounds like my mother (mental and physical) abuse towards me. I left and haven't seen her since 1991. It was the only thing that kept me sane. You need to go completely no contact to the both of them. Keep you self sane and healthy and keep your family (wife and kids) safe from them. Stay strong 😅

The Second story, biggggg AH. Having a child who is considered legally blind with glasses, well if he ever pulled this bs with his siblings he would be in the dog house. Ppl stop treating disabled children like fragile beings and giving in to every whim to "make life easier" you're not helping.

1st story: NTA, hear what your daughter says. 2nd story: YTA, looks like the little sister had enough of the abuse and finally cracked, the bully got her just reward! 3rd story: NTA, you have no one to mend your relationship with 4th story: NTA, have no life or have no (relation with your) parents - though choice!

Story 1: Keep your child AWAY from those abusive people. Make a will TODAY that stipulates that your daughter will NEVER go to them in something happens to you! Designate someone you trust and make sure that all moneys are in irrevocable trusts they can't access.

Laura should have been returned to school and left there. Made sure she's put into therapy until she had corrected her bullying behavior enough to come home again. Lily should not have been punished by removal. My parents taught me to always fight back against bullies and sent me to martial arts classes starting at age 7 so that I would know how. Lily was only fighting back against someone who was bullying her. Laura should have considered herself lucky that she only lost a couple of eyeglass lenses in the process. When the mother of the first bully I conquered went to tell my mother what awful thing [knocked the air out of the bully by throwing her to the ground] I had done, my mother said, "Good. It's about time."

The parents want to see the grandchild. That's about it. So many parents abuse their children without thinking of the long-term consequences, as in, forfeiting contact with future grandchildren.

Story 2: he is the massive a-hole for kicking his younger daughter out. The older daughter was probably milking it, acting the victim... Probably the golden child.

Story 2: YTA. Oldest daughter should have been thrown out for treating her sister like garbage well before the glasses were destroyed. She could have driven her cute butt back to campus. The clear solution after the glasses sabotage was to drive Laura back to campus so she could get her spare glasses and leave her there until she apologized to her sister and to punish Lily for sabotaging her sister's adaptive equipment, either with grounding or making her get a job to pay back the cost of new glasses. Sabotaging the glasses absolutely needed to be punished, but the message sent here is that the bully's feelings are more important than the victim's. What the hell.

Wtf is up with these strange parents not letting their children live

Forgiveness is never for the offender. It is for yourself because holding on to resentment only hurts yourself. Does not mean you forget about what you forgive. Who would guess awful people try and use health issues to avoid taking responsibility for their terrible actions. Do not waste your time hoping for something different from these people. It will only lead to more of the same pains.

“Dying” sister: do you what the term for an AH with a terminal disease is? AH. Dying doesn’t make you not a POS.

Story 2: Here is hoping the younger daughter moves out at 18 and goes zero contact with ther DNA donners. OP is proof that some people should not be parents at all

Don’t forgive them there is no apology enough to make up fore what they did.

She’s not blinded. She just didn’t have her glasses. Big difference. She also isn’t a child, she is 20 years old.

Family: cancer will cure narcissistic personality, years of manipulation, decades of abuse and family disfunction?

Something I have noticed about controlling parents. They always think that all those things they did TO the child was FOR the child. They see what was good for them as being good for the child, no matter how much it hurts them. The commenters on the second story were out of line. A little teasing between siblings is to be expected and they did tell her to stop. ASSAULT, DESTRUCTION OF PROPERTY AND THEFT are not. As someone that wears glasses, I can tell you that it can be scary to lose them. To have them destroyed at that young age would be worse and since her vision was so much worse, I can not imagine how horrifying it would be.

1st Story: If op's parents were actually sorry they wouldn't have said how hard it was for them and that it isn't fair she didn't feel remorse Total A**hats Pardon my language

Title story: Massive NTA. Of course they want to reach out now, that their precious Golden Child has failed them! How did they find out that OP had a daughter I wonder? Sperm donor said "how hard it was for *them* when OP left". That just says it all! They're not sorry at all, they just want something from OP. She owes exactly what they gave her: nothing. Hope she blocks them, and gets therapy.

I never understand how in these stories every Aunt, Uncle, and twelfth Cousin has OP's contact info so that any time something is done they don't like the entire lot of deadbeats can call and harass. I don't even know the names of my cousin's spouses.

So you spoil the oldest and punish the youngest... you should have made the oldest leave after the second time tormenting the youngest

2nd story is just dumb. First off, they seem to excuse the older sisters behavior, which seems to be a pattern of bullying. And no they didn't throw their younger daughter out, sent her to her aunts for a day. They handled that shit all wrong. Yes, send the 15 yr old to her aunts. Then take the 20 yr old home, if she is truly blind and can't see. Tell her she's not welcome back until she changes her shitty behavior. They truly need to fix their parenting.

The second story keep saying Laura is blinded and terrified.WTF? Teriffied of what?She is in her parents house with her parents there.She is safe and no one us threathening her safety.Her parents are there to give help if she need it.Why the hell she freaks out?!Not like she suddenly blind.She been blind since baby.She just need to put the adult pants on and get the spares.Obviously manipulating her parents to pity her because she 'distressed'.😑

Story 3 is the world. Who needs family when you can live the life of rootless cosmopolitanism. I've slept with every guy in England, but I'll still want my dad to walk me down the aisle and "give me away" without a sideways glance at what the tradition means. Then once I'm bored in the marriage I'll divorce. Marriage is only a romantic exercise after all. Maybe I'll neglect my kids for a job down the line as well. I'm taking a YT break. Hopefully it sticks this time.

The sister bully glasses story. I almost thought nta (not the case ) for the reason I left the video half way this morning and came back to it. So i thought nta,then I heard about the rest through the comments of the story and yta. She shouldn't have dine that to the glasses. Instead she should have hid it. The parents are basically bullies here. It a yta and most likely a esh. Expect the auntie and the young sister. Because listening to the story again. She is 20 tormenting your minor daughter. And you are even worst then that. Op might never read this but he and his wife are the biggest ahs of all

Lol I can't wait for lily story in 10 years asking aita for not wanting to see her family

#2 Dying is not an excuse to forgive a lifetime of abuse!!! DO NOT FORGIVE HER!! Let her go and NC all family that feel like your mom does towards you!! You deserve people who car, not to have a Golden Child put over you!!!

Concerning the last story; I would go France for a two-week period and then, depending on the way the promise was worded, claim that you DID come back(as promised!) and now you're leaving again. Yes, it can be considered an AH move, but it will give you a story for the malicious compliance sub-reddit.

Grand parents rights are not rights to grandkids, it's like getting visitation in a divorce, but there are typically stipulations and requirements

1st story: make sure you live in a state where there's go grandparent rights, that you have evidence against them and possibly see a lawyer and press harrassment charges and ask for a restraining order

2nd story: so Laura has been pretty much tormenting her CHILD sister and the AH parents did nothing to really stop it? Why didn't they throw her out when she wouldn't stop messing with her little sister.... I also don't believe she was scared of Lily being home.... she was scared of not being able to see but she CLEARLY acted like she was some terrified baby to get her parents to punish Lily in one way or another... If Lily did plan on doing something to her sister then yeah.. i get that she should be the one to leave for the day IF SOMETHING HAPPENED and they couldn't take Laura back to where she lives right then and there. I mean her extra glasses were there... right? take the bitch back and leave her there... they had no business throwing Lily out of the house for the day when she was already feeling very crappy

I really question what kind of drugs do parents smoke to enable their kids negative behavior?

1st story - parents sound like narcs. I would bet money they are trying to use her daughter to get money. Just the fact the Dad used guilt to manipulate her. Instead of saying "I'm sorry".... he said "we have done everything for you. You owe us." Run girl. Run. Get the book Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. It will help you.

for the second story....everyone sucks but lily. and honestly i'm a bit confused why laura was having a break down due to 'being blinded'... i mean yea as someone who has contacts, not having anything in my eyes sucks cause its blur city. but at 20 years old... to react THAT strongly cause your eyesite is gonna be blurry for a bit til you can get to your spare glasses.... it kinda feels like manipluation to me. like yea maybe lily went a bit far to toss the lenses out the window but idk the reaction laura had about it just seems like it was done on purpose to get lily kicked out of the house

Stop living for other people when your a grown up. Some of these drive me insane leave toxic people alone period.

Last story OP a promise made under duress is not a promise you have to keep. This is your life. Live it the way you want to live it. OP do not give in to their demands. They have no more hold on you. Mom's reasoning is flawed. The only people who can destroy a relationship between people is the people in the relationship. OP NTA.

"doesn't sound forgiving and caring" I'm not ready to forgive and I'm not sure I care.

Op in story 2 are definitely the AH. lol Laura is a bully and yet you punish the younger one. Won’t be surprised if one day the younger abandons you when they’re older.

Story #1: NTA. This is a tale as old as time. OP's parents are "sorry," because their investment in the golden girl didn't pay off. And now that a grandchild is in the picture, they want to play happy family for _her,_ but conveniently want to ignore their neglect of the child who wasn't the favorite. People like this never change. Story #2: YTA. Funny how OP only decides to intervene in protection of the older daughter who is the bully. This is another case of Golden Child Syndrome where the parent punishes the victim for standing up for themself. No way this is a one-time thing, and I all but guarantee that Laua acts like this regularly, knowing OP won't stop it. Story #3: NTA. Dying does not absolve you of your wrongs. Sounds like the older sister is just a malignant narcissist who likes to start drama, then act like everyone else is causing problems to turn herself into the victim. Maybe if the sister wasn't a bitch her entire life, this situation wouldn't even be a thing. Story #4: NTA. That wasn't a promise. It was an emotional guilt trip. OP's parents are just trying to keep a stranglehold over her life, even though she's a grown, independent woman. Coming back to France will eventually turn into "you can't leave the house without telling us." Don't even open the door for this kind of controlling behavior.

Story 1 : NTA.." it was so hard for us when you left" Translation:" when you left we no longer had a punchingbag and the lighting rod in the family that we could blame for everything wrong in the house".. Op "Dad" : " we did so much for you" Op should've responded with:" yeah what did you do exactly when did you care about me the time when you verbally abused me because of that thing known as my sister" just goes on to say all the stuff they did to op then end with :" you are blocked have a nice life"....

You allowed your older daughter to bully Lily all of her life and then you wonder why when she’s having a really bad time and your older daughter decides to Terrorizer she struck out and got some of the bullying back and then you toss her way and then you’ve got the nerve to say that you had the rock after the other one because she couldn’t see very well you’re really lucky to be able to stay at your sisters and never come back to see you

To the weirdo who said "grandparents have rights." That is false. The only way a grandparent will gain access to that baby is if the spouse has died and the spouses parents want contact. And even then it's a big maybe! Or if they can prove the mom is unfit - which is really hard to prove. Almost impossible.

Tell your mom you want sweet and caring words towards your sister. Say where should I send the flowers, before or after she dies.

I tell them that my parents are dead to me they favored sister so deal with it

I would let the cancer take #3. No need to be in the drama.