Guy from story 2 has a scar from a Daemon prince and lived, that's a great story

I had a GW manager tell me Horus Heresy is not an official Games Workshop game.....this was in 2018

I'm still working through your backlog and absolutely loving it. Just dropped in to support the algorithm. Cant wait to get to this one.

Good old injuries. Nothing like putting your hand on a spearman regiment. Especially if you're using brass spears.

The exile talking about going for a beer: me, thinking a night on the lash with exile sounds like a blast.

Another great hobby nightmares video, love to hear em!

I relate so much to you tabling your mates Ad Mech, happened to me not long ago, my mates playing Orks, and completely tabled me, for no other reason than I got really unlucky with my rolls at the start of the game... Was a good laugh

"You are not allowed to read my Codex" Good one xD

When I was a kid I had 3 Tyranid warriors in my hand and scratched my eyebrow without thinking. One of the sything talons whet right into my eye. Luckily it was the white part and it healed on its own, but man close call.

Hi Northern, I really enjoy listening to your stories. Just a suggestion, would it be possible to put time stamps in the video so that we can skip to different stories, I listen whilst working and often find myself mid-story and missing the first bit which gives context. Many thanks though!

Followed since your first upload I think. Cheers mate. We all know these stories - but you tell them so well :) *As seasoned gamers....we have seen it all lol. Thanks 'Guv :)

Some of this stories are good to believe them. I´ve been listening all day.

I had an absoute horrible hobby experience when i moved out to a bigger city (i was used to a small group of friends with which i played mostly narrative and fluffy battles). My first interaction there must've been with the cream of the crop, the top competitive players in the community i presume. So being new, i asked around what was the lay of the land, how people play, stuff like that. I was told that they play only competition matches with tournament map layouts and rules. Not really my cup of tea but i asked if people play casual stuff or narrative games. The reply was "who the fuck plays narrative?" and boy did it hit me like a bus. I was dumb enough to keep on asking if there somebody who plays horus heresy or if they want to try out a zone mortalis match some time. The reply was just confused looks and wtf am i talking about. It really left me with a bitter taste (fitting for an Iron Warriors player). So i joined their league because i wanted to play and try to adapt. There was no joy in these games, just math hammer and being strict about the rules (like micromeasuring). I also almost got barred from joining the tournament because my Narik Dreygur miniature (which i proxied as a captain) was on scenic base (the one that alexis polux has) that wasnt the gw accepted size.

Once I was packing my case and there was this kid spinning around punching the air not far from me as I picked some models off the table, I remember thinking oh god because I'd put my newly painted watcher in the water just on top off it. I knew my error as predictably the kid lept into a spin kick and sent several of its pinned tentacles a-snapping and paint chipped. And I just remember how genuinely pleadingly sorry the kid was and the manager was just exasperated like 'Why would you do that?!' It was a bummer but I got to appreciate first the absolutely stupid uncoordinated nonsense kids especially ones near fragile objects love to do haha

"...I'm super chill..." Really? Considering the measuring tape threat? :P

Congrats to SquidMaster for being probably the only person to be successfully attacked by their own model

LOL - I imagine you've spent some time in the Jail overnight being so violent in your past :D

Ah man, i remember in the mid 2000's looking at the old blister packs on the wall at my local GW and witnessed a middle age store manager sitting with the regulars looking at some school girls walk past the window. Then loudly talk about how much he'd knowing they're in school and under age.... he realised it wasn't just him and his cronies, then effectively told me to F off and that i was unwelcome. Never went back to that shop again and still haven't, really put me off the hobby for a couple years

Great work, great video. ...The Converted is coming ... IRON WITHIN. IRON WITHOUT.

"I promised you a nice long one" ... "That's what she said" ... O.O realisation

My worst moment was at a tournament. It wasn't really any players fault, but an amount of bad luck. I was playing Khemri (that was shortly after the first army book was released) and the first 3 (out of 5 games) games was against Chaos Nurgle (Beastmen, and twice Chaos warriors, if i remember right), so i was basically watching my army being dissolved in front of me. According to scorees my 4th game would have also been some form of Chaos Nurgle, but i talked to the people organizing that tournament, and it was possible to switch opponents. The next 2 games was against Dogs of War and Skaven.

Oh lord, I listened to these stories with morbid curiosity and anticipating horror. And as a bonus, the Orks vs Custodes reminded me of my own "get tabled and stomped"-story from cold Finland here.... Feel free to bring it up in a "and that's when I knew it was over/I had F-d up"-vid or something Exile ;) It's right around the time 5th ed was ending. I was playing Blood Angels. Went for a balanced 1750pts game - soem heavy guns, tacticals with razorbacks and some solid/scary melee. My friend had Grey Knights (and I bet half of you can guess already what is coming... xD). I carried my army in two larger boxes. He had his in one shoe box with paddings inside. He had a Draigo Paladin army. We start playing. One objective per side, plus secondaries. Turn 2 he manages to Deep Strike a termie Librarian. My two VIndicators decide to utterly miss him, as do my guns. His turn 3 rolls in, and he summons a full 10-model Paladin squad + Draigo in and shoots my Vindicators apart. Now, we had played a lot already. We knew if he got the charge off, it's GG. But I had suspected he was playing stuff like this, so I had prepped some contingencies. My turn 3 comes in. I shoot with everything - 1 Devastator squad of plasmas, 2 tactical squads, Razorbacks, and then I commit to the hail mary. Let's stack the sides here: -GK: Draigo, 9 Paladins (1 wounded) and Librarian (lost 1 wound) -Me: 2 5-man Death Company Squads, a DC Dread with talons (=every unsaved wound inflicted on enemy gives an extra attack, this stacks with itself back then btw), a Chaplain, a bash Captain and 5 shield-hammer termies. So in I charge. At this point let me note down a few things about some units and gear here: -Death Company, on the charge in this situation, got the Rage (+2 Attacks when charging instead of 1), Rampage (if charging an enemy unit with more models, with vehicles counting as 10 infantry, the DC unit got D3 more attacks), Furious Charge (+1 Strength) and full rerolls since a Chaplain is there. All my DC are armed with power mauls (since I also played against Orks, Nids and IG often) but also had some fists in. That's 7-9 S7 or S9 re-roll everything attacks per model, so almost 100 attacks from just the DC Marines. The DC Dread had the same but with the aforementioned extra attack generation, which in 95%+ of the time resulted in it killing off any njon-vehicle unit in melee in one round of combat. -GK had gear that gave them a 4+ invuln in melee, halberds that made them strike before any of my units ever could (Initiative 6 iirc, when the best Marines could get was 5) and insta-kill weaponry because force weapons I had to just mosh-pit the GK and simply drown them in either crazed melee or if they lived gun them down witrh the rest. After that initial charge of mine it took two game turns for the game to end. 4 Paladins and Librarian died, Draigo at one wound I had been tabled... by 12 models. His 2 Strike squads and their transports never fired a single shot or cast a single psychic power. We absolutely laughed our asses off, and agreed that yes, 5th ed Wardian Codex GK was beyond broken. So a happier ending there, but still an uncontestable stomp XD

Got threatened- physically threatened- by a parent of a kid. Kid stole someone's models and was trying to get someone to come and buy them in the parking lot at the only other store in town. Confronted kid, store owner calls parents of kid- parent shows up- and threatens me. I was just there, hadn't spoken a word.

Story 1 >.< I had the same thing happen to a thunderhawk at an Apoc game, Not my model and i wasn't the one who knocked it but it was just a massive moment where everyone was just stunned. "34 mins mark. Yeah, it was a few years back. I Had a Dogs of war fantasy army, it codex was 2 editions out of date but there wasn't a new one an i was used to say my friend playing orks in 5th when they only had a 3rd codex so having an out of date codex didn't bother me. The whole army was GW products, painted and i had used it for years at another store. I had moved home and this was my new nearest local game store (it was a GW store). Anyway arranged a game with a new person i had just met. Arrived set up the board deployed army's rolled for first turn. The oppoenets seemed excited to play against Dogs of war as he had never seen that army before. Then the GW employees came over and told me I couldn't play my army in store because it was no longer supported by games workshop. It was an unpleasant experience. This same store a month or so later I was at the painting table working on a Chaplin. Saw the same employee tell a person playing a lost and the dammed list (4th ed) this was during 5th ed. "This was only an special event army and isn't a legal army anymore, you cant use this in store." All games workshop models too. That was the last time I visited this store.

I just got into the hobby and while it is expensive, I've felt my military service and work schedule has left me with few ways to mingle with people and make new friends. As expensive as the hobby is, the game has that one plus. A bunch of folks will versed in the game and willing to prop you up and invite you to games. You're probably my favorite KZfaq 40k personality so far. I enjoy the stories and wanna keep seeing them coming. You definitely sound like the "conservative dad/teacher" type of guy when you talk about smacking spergs upside the head for being bullies and I love it lol.

Thank you

Back when I built Gunpla heavily, still have lots in backlog, I have stabbed/dropped my hobby knife into me 3 different times. Twice in my leg, once in my pinkie finger. Each time I was wearing blue. Those clothes are purple now. Never got the stains out before I trashed them

🤣 I'm trying to pull myself together and start interacting with people again and start going out gaming again, this may not be the video for me. I'm thinking 🤣

The day the tea sips are edited out will be a sad day indeed

Awesome as always, god I can feel for that last guy I have had some simaler experinces in the past and sometimes you as you say north "Take it in the Chin!" it ruin's the game experince and puts a dampner on the hobby. Used to be a guy who hung out with my group in High School that hated looseing espeshally to me, he played old Undead 4th/5th ed and I played High elfs, I killed his necromance genral on the 3rd turn and did not take it well. he became very cold when I was about and did not talk to me much after.

I'd misplaced a 100mm base, then became I was passing my nearest GW (amount received from me approx the price of a small new car) I thought I'd stick head round door and ask if I could snitch one. Was told I could BUY a pack for around a friggin' tenner!!! After listening to youe videos I realize I should have complained and told them a box came missing it.

You think stepping on Lego barefoot is painful? Try a 2nd ed plastic Gretchin some time.

The rule of fours is best when playing with kids. Your better than I am. I'd told the manager to run it himself. Fun fast furious and every roll is four or better

2:30 yeah that’s just decency and respect for peoples property and space.

north do you live in the east middlans?

27:20 Custodes are more than a little broken. Was in the FLGS as a 'beginners' tournament was going on. The amount of Custodes cheese that was kicking around was unbelievable, lists I'd seen in RTS tourneys taken there just to wafflestop new players. Not cool.

I have a few stories but I’m not sure if I want to share or not.

I let noone near my models on pain of death. No exceptions

What's that about Grey knights?!

Why can't people jus play a game for mutual enjoyment?

tbh the epileptic fit story might have been the best course of action, an epileptic colleague told me that the best thing to do is just move (or move them away from) anything they could damage themselves on and just let them ride it out.

he didn't react by scratching a model with a ruler. the OP escalated by bumping his opponents model with his ruler. Like you let him bump your models 20 times? after like 2 warnings the best thing to do is say "i'm not playing with you" and move on, find a game with someone who has more respect for your property.

I want to collaborate with u on a video, but I dn't know how to tact u

Comment for the Algorithm

Touching other peoples' models wothout permission. Oh man. How is this even still a thing? I would hope beyond hope that after all of these years of wargaming represented on the internet (youtube, reddit, etc.) that anyone above the age and cognition of about a nine year old would know that you don't touch models that aren't yours. Between the value of the model, and the time that the hobbyist spends, do not do it.. For example, I am a pretty trash painter. Nothing special at all, BUT, I still put a lot of time into each one, and my TIME is worth a lot more than the paint represents. Time is the one thing I am not getting any more of, and I know exactly what my time is worth. Even a ruined three dollar guardsman or cultist might represent a hundred and fifty dollars worth of time. Think about that before some greasy neckbeard puts his cheetoh fingers on your minis.

The thumb story is a waste of A&E time. In the same way a space marine can't really harm a titan deamon Prince can not harm you. .. Unless it was in the eye.