Same thing with my mother...horrible

Same

That's terrible, if you are under aged you should definitely try to get help❤

That's disgusting 🤮 I would call elder services on her

My childhood was the same. It effected me as an adult.

I'm so sorry. It is my story too. It does make me fearful of repeating the pattern.

Same way with me. It was horrible.

@Dina G I'm sorry. That must be so difficult.

@Dina G absolutely.

Got that right 😎

This woman Versula would drive me insane.

@@gillianbrookwell1678 Visula. But yeah, beats me how her daughter can claim she's such a wonderful mother when all I can see is selfishness.

@@charliethecockatoo2159 Hoarders are very self absorbed.

@@gillianbrookwell1678 That much is unfortunately rather painfully apparent.

They say that there's what, like 3 million hoarders? I don't even know how they know that since most hoarders don't even tell their own family. My guess is that there has to be so many more hoarders then they say. And yes, its frustrating, if not infuriating to spend a weekend cleaning up someone else's filth, just to make room for more junk. My ex-father in law was a hoarder, and once a year the family would show up and empty, clean, and paint the walls of every room( that part would take an entire week). Sure enough my father in law would hoard his beautiful house the very moment that the paint dried. Frustrating indeed!

Same. I'm only a few minutes into this episode and am cringing at the daughter's well-intentioned act of getting a storage unit. My parents' hoard now fills THREE rented storage units. Hoarders see a storage unit as a lottery and license to get loads more crap.

Same, I get emotional blackmail for suggestions

Same!

And what’s hard is that other adults who find out will cast judgement on us. “Lazy children, if my mom’s house was like this I’d help her clean it out in a jiffy!” If only it were that simple. As if we haven’t tried a million times. But as you’ve said, and as most of us have experienced, the mere mention of possibly getting rid of some things sends them into a rage. I’ve stopped talking to my parents altogether about it because to be honest I can’t even handle their freak outs, it just triggers me back into childhood.

BP disorder really broke me up because of how hard dealing with hoarder with it. constant argument, screaming, and crying, and mood changes

​@@morganofsharick2415❤❤❤

yes she is -- I was just thinking the same thing!

Me too

Whoaaa, what have you been doing inside of her to know that much

She is the most perfect woman I have ever seen 🙂

Disagree! They do not deliberately manipulate, they just can’t help themselves bcs they react this way to their trauma whereas we don’t. I see it as an illness & thankfully have never met one. Empathy, my friend, is in short supply these days.

Her daughter is beautiful, inside and out

Yep. You're right. They're adorable.

Jasmine has her home looking lovely with no clutter at all, and who can blame her.

My dear, not only do you value stuff over people- you value stuff over yourself. Connect with yourself. Get into your body. Give yourself the love you’re looking for through the stuff.

I can relate. Hugs

Shows the strength of trying to understand your illness and make changes. Many are not brave enough and some may but it's all a facade. This is not, they are not. 👏👏 To you for acknowledging and being positive, sensitive with your statement

Yes. I want the best for them. We all have our struggles.

Yes good on her brave & insightful daughter who is s presenter, a great idea for a story

Yes

I'm nearly at this same point. She's 80 and in a nursing home. I'm scrambling to find important documents

That is some proper resource utilization right there.

Makes me want a shower and clean house

I wish I could say the same but my mums a hoarder 😭😭😭

Same!!

Just about the only sensible comment on this page!

So sorry to hear about your pictures...😢 Greetings from faraway Norway 🤗♥💜💙💚💛

It's truly a mental illness, don't take it personal.

@@MsPrice-pn2py O yes it is, Greetings from faraway Norway 🤗♥💜💙💚💛

*hugs! 😔

So sorry to hear she did that. Sounds very hurtful

Lilly Brown I couldnt finish watching it.

Don't give up

I'd be the same i could not stand it I'd get soo angry

I just dont understand, how come a children broke off relationship with their "sick" parent? If their own children gave up, whos then will help them?

@@TasyaCraft yes they might be sick but you have to think how unwell that is making the child, mentally. It’s not fair either way. But sometimes you have to look after yourself as those people will prob not get better.

@@Itsthatchaar ah i see. It is different culture anyway. I respect her choice, mental health is not a joke. May God help these people.

Yeah. Was curious where the father is. Dead, divorced or abandoned the family. It's like she said she can't trust people (also her upbringing of moving a lot) so, she wants to hang onto things and an object won't leave you, talk back or argue. Plus shopping and finding "treasures" gives a rush of dopamine, makes you feel competant and happy and forget for a moment the mental distress and horror show at home. It's def multi faceted and hard to deal with.

@@user-hd8fi9et1r "...And an object won't leave you, talk back or argue." Precisely, well said. I think it's also a way to feel protected from the outside world, to be surrounded by the 'things' that don't purposely or deliberately hurt her or say mean things. Edit: Yes, you're right, WHERE is the dad or husband?

Woooooooow, u just have me insight into my husband who is more of a functional hoarder. He hoards useful things if he can aquire them free or for little cost. It's like he's practical until it's out of control...

YourAverageGoyl way to stereotype and give a psychoanalysis on people you've never met. Thats just what mental health sufferers need, a self-righteous imbecile pigeon-holing them as emotionally frail and needing assistance.

@@kait2972 "Stereotype"? How did I stereotype her? All I'm saying is she didn't become a 'hoarder' just because she likes 'things'. Something happened to her, most likely from her parents... Some kind of repeated emotional trauma or abuse. I suppose you think there is a pill that can fix this? Fix her "mental health" (your words, not mine).

or be smart and install Adblock!

Thx you the 🐐 for this one...

Ads?

It's free content, the least you could do is Support the channel with time you're already wasting.

@@joelromero6074, nothing is 'free.' And who wants to _waste more time_ watching an ad for something we don't need, can't afford, or is crap anyway?

I still watch her presenting 'A, Place in the Sun'. She comes across as a genuine, lovely person.

Best coment ever 🤔 Greetings from faraway Norway 🤗♥💜💙💚💛

That ’s what I say😀

POV NW I have had to clean out five friends and relatives places. My sister was a hoarder and it was a nightmare cleaning it out when she died. What I have realised is when you die it is all (mostly) just stuff that no one wants.

Maybe I could get Social security payments for disability Hoarding , then I can go buy more stuff???

😢

So kind of you to notice that. You were only 12. Please forgive that child - you simply couldn’t have known. 🧡

And lack of prioritization and organization..... It's a tough battle.

It is

It differs depending on what country you're in. In US before 2013 it was classified as a sub-type of OCD. In 2013 with the release of the DSM-V it is now it's own diagnosis listed in a section titled obsessive-compulsive and related disorders. I personally had extremely severe ocd and went to a top residential treatment center in the US (McLean Hospital). They also treat hoarding in the same unit and the treatment is the same using CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ERP (Exposure & Response Prevention). Unfortunately the treatment is very expensive as most specialist don't accept insurance. Treatment really helped me turn my life around and my ocd is now pretty mild.

Ok

From my understanding, its a subsect of OCD. They have a compulsion to keep things, or buy things. Eventually, it gets to be too much.

Hoarders saying "I'm ready to change" is another way of saying "I'm stalling".

rigel abanes or I’m not ready to change is another way of stalling😹

I had no idea that hoarding was actually a mental illness!

They absolutely will use guilt and manipulation in order to keep their possessions!

I'm a hoarder, everytime something gets binned I start rlly panicking, I hate that feeling so much, I'd say anything to avoid stuff getting binned. I still get upset and panicky over stuff that was binned years ago.

David Velez lol

Thanks son

Jasmine is a hero in my eyes!💕

Or perhaps an unpaid volunteer's job to replace 'browsing' time would help refocus her attention.

CC S yup she’s an amazing daughter. Her whole family seem down to earth to me

She the daughter is beautiful inside out. I felt sympathy toward her only.

One mans trash is another mans treasure.

@Justin Voluck my mum was like this lady . She grew up during the great depression.

claire99ism A hoarder does not see 'dirty' 'useless' . Their brains are such that that distinction is not available to them. In fact, this woman's home is much less unsanitary than some I have seen. Some have feces and urine stored in bottles and bags, food that is 10-15-20 years out of date. It is part of the disorder of hoarding to NOT see what others see. And it is the part that makes the disorder so difficult to treat.

Its called ENABLING

Well said, about the clutter.

She needs mindfulness meditation and therapy

I'm a hoarder, I don't know why... Nothing has happened in the past, I'm not depressed, nobody had died when I began hoarding.. I just think of stuff as people for some reason

I hate feeling dirty. I couldn't even enter the property, I marvel that Jasmine does this in nice clothes. I'm OCD cleaner, no way I'd touch anything here

Try mindfulness meditations, guided meditations and breath focused meditation. They would start to feel lightness and focus and calm and emotional strength. There are clearly deep rooted insecure attachment issues and nothing like meditation and pranayams (breathing exercises) to take a person out of their mental blocks and make them think afresh. Else there's also electric shock therapy which helps a person come out of a set pattern of thinking.

with the animal hoarding can you anonymously report to the rspca. ? No sentient living creature should ever live in squalor and hoarding.

God awful for the poor neighbour's. I'd complain about the mess and stink

@amandawitherspoon Hoarding disorder is a result of trauma and/or loss. Having worked in the mental health field with a number of individuals who hoard, it is important for them to be able to identify when the behaviours began and what the trigger was. Unless and until the individual is able to identify WHY they hoard, and then obtain treatment relevant to that trauma, they will be stuck in a pattern of hoarding behaviour. Hoarding is an extremely difficult disorder to treat as it is a compulsion not unlike an addiction, however it is not impossible. Children of hoarders need to try to understand that it’s not their fault their loved one hoards, and that they didn’t fail or do something wrong if their loved one continues to hoard after their home has been cleaned out. Individuals who hoard animals need to be checked on on a much more regular basis, and should not be allowed to live alone. Hoarding living beings is not the same as hoarding garbage or junk, obviously, and the neglect that these creatures experience is usually extreme. It’s not to say that an animal hoarder does not love their creatures the same way any order loves their possessions, I’ve just never heard of a case of animal hoarding where the animals were all up to date on their vaccinations and in good health, let alone had the proper living conditions and a clean environment in which to live. I rescued a husky who was one of 83 dogs being hoarded by a woman in my province in 2010. The woman had been arrested for animal hoarding two times prior, and each time she would just be given a fine and told not to do it again. The last time she was arrested, she had over 200 dogs, and this was two years AFTER Animal Control had seized the 83 dogs I adopted my husky from. She is always unable to provide clean, safe accommodation for the animals, she’s unable to properly feed them all, and they are not giving any vet care. The woman was keeping them all tied up two pieces of garbage and scrap metal on her property, the dogs were encrusted in mud, faeces and urine, and they were all starved. My husky was so emaciated that all of her ribs were exposed and her hip bones jutted out on her back. Someone like this needs to live in an assisted living facility, or with responsible family members who will keep her accountable, and they need intensive treatment/therapy for the duration of their life.

I saw one where after cleaning out, they put in chests of drawers and told her she could stuff those drawers, but when she added something, she had to get rid of something.

No ones trauma justifies the pain they put others through. I was deeply traumatized by a hoarding parent and I don’t get to act like a monster towards others for it. These people are emotionally manipulative and cruel to the people around them. Leave them to their belongings, they value it more than human connection.

@@emilyann4549 I won’t disagree with this my mother is a hoarder and she destroyed me I developed BPD bc of it and I’m still trying to change her and she only gets worse with age it’s heartbreaking for all involved

​@@emilyann4549 i mean, that's certainly how one feels, as an adult children of abuse myself through having my mom aflicted by this adiction, i call it that because it is always trying to escape the pain and soothe. Obviously it can cause some serious issues for example i feel like garbage all the time, ive tries and tried and tried to solve and kinda save this house and My family because it is salvageble, i mean i do feel this kinda grudge because i had an abusive father growing up and of course My mom was trying to cope through hoarding, so she was gone and now i'm 30 years old with little tonno money but i'm picking myself up slowly

@Claudia V No, she doesn't. I promise you she loves them fiercely. It's also difficult when those she loves are hyper-critical of HER, as a person, because she has an attachment disorder. She needs healing from past abuse, not constant prodding and people calling her "crazy" (which is just MORE dismissal or rejection and NOT helpful).

YourAverageGoyl I suppose you are referring to her children. You haven’t lived in this environment or had your entire life affected by it. You are also just seeing just one perspective. Yes, this is clearly a mental illness. But just like drug abuse or alcoholism, it’s the parents responsibility to do whatever it takes to ensure their children are raised in a healthy stable environment. To understand the reasons for the behavior is not to excuse and co-sign it. Her family has every right to set boundaries and expectations for change. Its up to the parent to do the work, whatever that may be.

@@zingyflaps7757 You don't start someone like her on a "behavior modification" plan. You help her HEAL from her childhood trauma, abuse and/or neglect.

@@zingyflaps7757 "Drug abuse or alcoholism"? She didn't stick a needle in her own arm. This was done to her, too.

Just kick the old tart down the stairs and have a yard sale 💷💷💷

The answer is almost certainly no. The hoarding is a symptom, and the cause has not been dealt with. The cause is apparently very difficult to address. If any hoarder has ever been cured, I'd love to hear about them, because they may hold a precious key to a miserable condition.

I would love to see the mother be taught mindfulness meditation and be given resources of guided meditations and then she may be able to overcome her traumas and the mental chaos and confusion. Else there's also electric shock therapy which helps a person come out of a set pattern of thinking.

@@JagoffCitizen Your right, but from my personal experience, this might sound unconventional but a LSD trip cured my hoarding full stop. It lets you step out of the normal thinking pattern to see clearly what you're doing. it reset my anxiety and attachment to things. Yes its trauma based and the anxiety leads to the compulsive not letting go of things not always physical things. I Know this too well as i lived through seeing my dad hoard his whole life too. Treat the Trauma and Anxiety first, yoga, meditation, diet, CBT, counselling Psychadelics.

Also other tragedies can play a role other than death. My mom is a hoarder because when she was 17 she lost everything she owned in a house fire.

@@KC-mw3de Yes, exactly that trauma of losing everything and fear that it will happen again. I found that she collected the dollhouse furniture from the blitz bombings was significant as well since those were children her age and the thought she was touching these dead children's things may have warped her perception some

This lady developed this condition due to having to move between countries a few times and having to leave behind their things each time. She needs therapy and meditation.

You are right. I lost my husband to cancer, I was still quite young, and I clung to things like his clothing and even socks for months. Then finally about 6 months later I started throwing or giving everything away. I got this message from my heart, that it's better to let it all go, because it was actually reminding me more of the loss by keeping these things. Once the items were gone, I felt much closer to him, because then I had more space to focus on the memory of him and not the empty objects that were associated with him. I was left with his pure essence, not his objects. It was purifying and healing to let go.

@@beyondher ❤️ Am so happy to hear you were able to do this

Karen Lamb that's a really good idea.im attached to certain things but just seeing photos of them would still feel comfort. are you a doctor?

That’s a smart idea.

I was thinking the same thing... It would help her and keep things in order. But she's also of that old mindset where you feel lack and want to keep things which are "still useful", except you never do use them.

OMGGGGoodness....What A GREAT IDEA!!!!! Really!!!

That is a really good idea but I think it has to do more with actually having that item in their possession. If they look at a photo of an item they love then it's possible that they would go into a panic because they don't physically have it and they would obsess about where that item could be.

yes, the things that will fit into a particular cupboard or on a particular shelf etc.. - if it's too abstract, you don't get anywhere.

Nice response Gloria, i was watching several hoarding videos and didn´t find a clear explaination of what causes this condition until read your comment.

yes

In her mind she's not done "using" any of it though. You are trying to rationalize for a person that can't think rationally about their possessions.

@@JeffWatchesKZfaq So true, I wonder if marijuana could help with the poor thinking. If a non seasonal item has not been seen or used in a year, it needs to go to someone else

@@JeffWatchesKZfaq it's a behavioral condition, much like OCD. Such people have to be taught new hobbies and means of fulfillment.

@@luvyatubers Anything is possible, but I don't believe that would be the answer. There is likely not a singular answer. Her behavior is incredibly deep-rooted and would likely need to be addressed from many angles. Marijuana could be one of them, but just as it can be a great benefit those with a mental illness, it could just as strongly be of great detriment depending on that individual person's needs. That is something that doctors would need to determine because of how drastic of a case she is. Watch at 8:19 how she describes the Eiffel Tower figurine. She is not so much convincing the other person as much as she is convincing herself. Watch how she builds the justification to herself. "I have been to the Eiffel Tower, but I didn't get this there." [Not sold on it.] "I got this in a shop for next to nothing because you can't afford to buy this in France, in Paris" [Saying something like I got an incredible deal on it versus somewhere else. A sense of winning.] "I've got several french friends it kind of reminds me of." [As if though doing it a favor for them, not herself. Justification through selflessness] "One of them passed away last year and it kind of reminds me of him as well" [Stretching to tie this unrelated figurine into a memory of someone unattached to it] "My friend has been cremated so there is no burial places you can imagine you could talk to them" [We've now gone from buying it because it was cheap in a thrift shop all the way to it being a memorial piece honoring a dear dead friend, and how can you throw that away?] I believe this is an excellent example of the process her mind takes with all of the possessions she struggles with letting go of. This is exactly how she gets from 'a random object of no meaning' to 'this is something that I cannot let out of my possession or it will be taking something deep away from myself and possibly even disrespecting others'. Another great example of her explaining how she arrives at her deluded thinking is at 4:55 "I don't like other people touching my things because I feel that..." [Doesn't like other people touching her things that she has inflated false value on, then searches to justify.] "Especially some things are quite fragile and I feel, are they going to be careful or are they going to break it and say 'oh it was already broken'" [She then says some things are "quite fragile" believing she is the only one fit to handle these things she believes to be very valuable yet the very next scene is her handling her own things by cramming a bag full of stuff on top of other things, risking breaking everything but believing she is caring for her things appropriately.] "...or are they going to take it?" [Convinced that all of these 'valuables' she has accumulated are so sought after by others that they would actually steal them from her.]

@@progressivelibertarianview8832 OCD may play a part of it but this seems like more than just that. New hobbies can certainly help inspire her other parts of her life but they can also be a distraction to stop her from dealing with the deeper issues that lead to this. Childhood trauma, depression, chemical imbalance and countless other things, or any combination of, can bring a person to this state of living. You can see how she convinces herself that she is thinking rationally at various points throughout this documentary. I outlines some of them in my comment to loveyatubers above. I'm not disagreeing about the OCD, which definitely may play a role here, but her behavior shows more than that to me. In your original comment "She needs to be taught the joys associated with donating stuff you no longer use so that others can put it to good use." I responded "You are trying to rationalize for a person that can't think rationally about their possessions." One of the reasons I feel that way is because it was talked about in this documentary. Her family member stated at 16:30 that she has donated to The Salvation Army in the past then would go days later in a panic and pay to get her own stuff back. Right after that you can see her taking things off the table that are about to be purchased because she didn't want to sell them even when the buyer, who would find joy in her items, is standing right in front of her.

This is exactly what I have gone through recently

Your comment broke my heart. This is exactly what happened to my mom, and she always tells me stories of how her older siblings take away all her toys and burns the little pocket books she writes herself. Every time I ask her why she doesn’t want to throw away my toys, she says that this type of quality toys can not be bought in the future. ...And yeah the toys these days suck, but I’m still doing research on how I can help relieve the stress she’s been through that caused her to be like this. :(

@@smileyartz I hope your research into help for your mom is going well. If you haven’t already learned about the work that trauma therapists do (somatic treatment methods , rapid eye movement therapy, etc, among other things), I would highly recommend she look into it. Once she addresses the trauma from which the hoarding grew, she will be able to recognize what triggers her. If she puts the work into the therapy-and you should also try to do some family sessions-real change is possible.

Sounds like my mom, she grew up poor and hardly bought things, now she hoards all the stuff she can buy cause its means the struggle she's been through

Be careful if you do. I know someone that committed suicide after someone did that they were so sad and lost. Not blaming that on anyone. Just get her therapy. It works against itself because the more she feels alone the more she will hoard. Best of luck

ray sullivan Exactly!!! There hoarding and things will always come before there husband and family. Get out why you can.

You are so strong for admitting that, knowing there’s a problem is the first step. I am sorry for your losses. It will get better, you’re already on the way.

TheMadHatter _19 😹😹😹

That is always the case. My mum was a hoarder. Now as an adult I dread of accumulating unnecessary things because of the difficulty of keeping a neat home full of rubbish. Now I feel joy, I feel victorious whenever I dispose of unnecessary things.

Jasmin is her mother’s carer. The daughter has been doing the hard lifting, parenting, codependent caring instead of living her young life. Jasmin and siblings have had a really difficult young lives living in that utter chaos. Not being able to having anyone over. No devoted parental nurturing. The youngest sibling had to be removed from the home as it was/is so unsafe with hoarding and squalor. The mother is however doing a good thing showing the reality of her hoarding secret. Vesula looking at herself is potential insight building. 60% of hoarders are lacking in insight, in denial, engage in avoidance. Not enough, very little is shown of adult children of hoarders , the profound effects on the children. I want to see more of them talking.

How are things?

✨🕊PeaceLoveHarmony82 yup👍🏾🕊✨

Good for you to try to make small steps to improve things. What really helps is not to go shopping, because there is always something to buy. Taking walks in nature is better and cheap also!