He protecc He atacc But most importantly : He jacc the snacc that bites bacc

"She left me for a man with bigger hands" - Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Fun fact: Until a few years ago, Russia actually classed beer as a fizzy drink. They even did research, stating that they found out "it is healthier than vodka"

Doctor: you need a new kidney Patient: oh no Doctor: Here's a celebrity kidney Patient: YAY Patient: doctor why am I constantly trembling Doctor: because your now addicted to several drugs

Jack’s intro was so Australian, I flipped upside down

"Took an allergy test and im allergic to everything." So how does it feel to be allergic to air 🎤 💀

I love the way Jack pronounces “depression,” because it just sounds perfect.

12:52 Fun fact: "Radioactive" should actually be played in New York, because it was originally written for a Spiderman musical. Then the guys who hired them to write it (which they had done specifically with the intent of replacing them with professionals once they got some publicity) realized their songs were actually good and that's how they became a famous band.

0:15 you didn’t search “guy squatting” because you didn’t want to confuse your FBI agent

the hotdog one gave me a goddamn existential crisis like wtf

4:10 congratulations, you turned your airbag into a claymore.

0:15 its okey editor i understand and im sure every other anxious person can definantly understand that fear. im very happy that your here making these videos as wonderful as they are so thank you for trying with that scene, i appreciate you.

Can we appreciate that they made a channel for Damien so now we have Damien back again

Imagine someone actually opens up a Go Fund Me account for donating money to sacrifice tourists.

12:04 when I saw this I immediately went on rule 34 to see if this existed. No need to panic, we’re safe for now

"I will surprise communism you before you have the chance to surprise democracy me!" - random dudes on discord.

13:33 video: german song: about a russian city comment: english youtube: polish hotel: trivago edit the song is Moskau by Dschinghis Khan

"What?..can you blame me? Its niiiice and waaaarm." The creature said slyly, wiggling and adjusting position, deeper into the comfortable greasy cheese.

1:59 the way jack laughed made me laugh

1:08 holy fuck I wheezed

"Took an allergy test. I'm allergic to almost everything." So how does it feel being allergic to yourself?

r/Cursedcomments: exists the entirety of EmKay: We can milk you

7:48 suddenly, technoblade!

I like how he sounded hesitant when said friends at the start

Please note that these are suggestions, and although I really wish for EmKay to cover them, they don't have to. As long as my comments don't get deleted, I'm fine. Day 173 of asking for these subreddits: Robin: -r/sbubby -r/KidsAre*******Stupid (doing this subreddit would be a good opportunity to add back Damien’s videos of it) Jack: -r/ComedyCemetery -r/garfieldminusgarfield -r/BreadStapledToTrees Lexi: -r/notlikeothergirls -r/forbiddensnacks -r/Chadtopia -r/ofcoursethatsathing Anyone: -r/HumansBeingBros -r/Wellthatsucks And finally: -A collaboration between Robin & Zach (have the subreddit be r/bonehurtingjuice) Thanks! :D

he named the cat noodle and gave it a chicken hat, chicken noodle, but what if he made chicken noodle soup

0:50 do not recognise the bodies in the water

2:50 female hyenas: am i a joke to you?

4:27 oh that’s why flash in zootopia was so liked

You know your early when random people start praying for you

Get it right, Jack: It's not "recycling"; it's "repurposing".

the first guy to drink cow milk must have been like “wow, this shii wylin”

PLEASE THE BANK DEPOSIT CLIP LMAO 💀

9:01 Only true Portlanders will know who this is.

"homeboy got colonized" made me laugh way harder than it should've

ive seen A LOT of the fanarts on this channel, but that one... i really liked it. if you are here good job bro and thank you for the time you put into it so people like me can enjoy it. :)

Malaria is like a bad ex she may be 'gone' but she is one drunk phonecall away

The girl treating the guy like a king is clearly the daughter of eldritch beings. She does stuff like that all the time. Please help.

6:52 Can confirm, the Bible does not specifically forbid Heelies.

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they are dead

5:48 his profile makes me extremely happy

Theory: jack actually made that post about Kylie jenner

Damn that fanart is gorgeous

5:07 That freeze-frame is ADORABLE!!! 🥺

Day 12 of telling Jack that his feet smell like cheese.

3:02 meanwhile the person using kelvin: kold

“People who go to sleep late die earlier” Me looks at time: oh brilliant 1:35 am nice

10:41 Onlygramps

On today’s episode of: *Cursed Comedians*

jack is my favorite host because he does such convincing readings and its just hilarious :]

Dang Jack, you my friend are a joy to listen to. You're narrating of the video had me laughing out loud. Thank you.

15:45 the pfp is from itadaki! seieki, you are very much welcome, i expect my $190,000 reward by tuesday evening.

After this, imma cleanse myself of any sins

3:55 Like the reverse of a gym I used to go to which became a bethel church.

3:50 took me a good 20 seconds to understand what was wrong 😂😂

Bro... that fan art is so good like omg

jack is the snack that smiles back my snacks dont usually smile

17:17 icarus' last words

17:01 I RECOGNIZED THE PICTURE OF GON AND SCREAMED

It's quite uncomfortable the fact that Jack can deliver these kinds of jokes so well.

15:25 Ferb crushed on her, she never reciprocated until "Act Your Age"

7:36 Where can I hire him? 🤣🌊🔫😎

2:40 wowwww now put him in the soup, kevin *do it, kevin*

Thanks TikTok, I'm gonna feel mildly insulted now every single time somebody says "You walk too quickly"

2:05 they’re poor, but they ACT rich, while the rich people wear normal clothing. I know this rule!

10:56 Germany and Italy reunite once more

I loved the “I’m the snack that smiles back”. It’s so cute and clever

Jack is more cursed than any comments I've read and I love him for it

16:18 Introducing india

That intro was awesome, dude i'm a hard to laugh person, but that intro was a metric fucking ton over what i expect from a yt intro. Good job Jack, we love you.

"oh shoot i forgot this is a kids website" has the same vibes as "oh shit, you guys are kids, i gotta watch my damn mouth around you little bastards"

I was having a bad day. But I really needed this thanks 👍😊

*Title: EAT HIM* *Me: 😰😓 I Can’t Eat My Teacher-* (Okay, I’m Sorry)

5:57 how can someone have Plastic donated as organs?

I would pay $50 to play D&D with any narrator from EmKay, and $100 to play with Jack

"Camped harder than Anne Frank" Jesus Christ XD

my favorite part was when he Hesitated to say Friends

Watching this as I practice self care and personal hygiene, emkay just motivates me somehow

'How do you art people make things glow without the glowing actually being there?' I have a friend who's an artist. I'm going to ask them this, in this exact wording, the next time I see them. I'll get back to you with their answer

3:22 If we did that, I imagine Alexander Hamilton, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and John Adams just having a fight. Benjamin Franklin, John Jay, and Samuel Adams just talking. And George Washington trying to calm down Hamilton.

9:26 Mr beast?

17:26 Hog Rider

I think Jack is easily my favorite EmKay reader, even though all three of them are fantastic in their own way. Jack just has the same sense of humor I do. lol

1:01 being a huge transformers fan this is so fucking funny

6:03 Maybe I'm tied into this as well... You'll just have to wait and see!

7:09 that’s natural! Girls can in fact look over their shoulders. More turn radius than guys (without dying, but it can be uncomfortable after a time)

The fan art was amazing!

'Wait really? We can say crap?!' this caught me off guard, and it made me happy

I was watching bill wurtz new video and you uploaded as soon as it ended *perfect*

So hype to finally see my art in the video 😭❤ Thank you so much for all the comments ☆

The snack that smiles back, children...

11:13 I forget if it’s chipmunks or squirrels, but one of the rodents that burries nuts I have heard described as the best gardeners in nature. And they don’t even want to garden.

Use this comment as a "I've also eaten something I shouldn't"

16:06 that didnt age well...

Jack: "Im the snack that smiles back." Me at 3am: *High Pitched cackling*

15:14 and here we are, doctors looking for a cure for cancer while I had it in my locker the whole time

14:19 that profile picture

Instead of Adolf Hitler say Rejected German Artist

"Yeah you invested in this" 😂😂😂😂

Omg, the fan art in this one is probably the best I have seen.