The ability to switch from anger to sweetness is why no one believes you when you try to get help from others.

Well, I now know why my mother emptied the entire contents on my room and put all my stuff including the bed on the front porch. I was on my bike one day and she called to me; I didn't acknowledge her and didn't stop bicycling. I have been wondering why she did this for a long time. Jay, I have said this time and time again, your assessments are so correctly detailed that one could easily understand what they went through and recover from negative family origin. Thank you for putting out vids, you are helping a lot of people understand and heal.

Did anyone else identify strongly to the phone call induced persona switching ?

Can a person be both borderline and narssistic? I almost think they can

I’m curious about why a parent would be disinterested in how they affect the child? That’s the unforgivable part. And when that parent purposely tries to cause hardship on the child. I’m also curious about a parent who tries to get a child kidnapped on purpose and not care what happens to them. It’s as if they feel the child’s life is garbage to throw away.

Does a borderline mother enjoy emotionally hurting her child? My mother loved bringing me down, taking me from happy to anxious, ashamed, and humiliated. I could see in her eyes she enjoyed it. I became no longer ever cheerful. I'm trying to understand my life, at this late age, either that or be engulfed in difficulties. This is the first I considered maybe she was borderline. Your videos are so thoughtful and helpful -thank you.

This describes my primary “caregivers” NPD and BPD. It’s hell on earth.

"overly invested in the goings on of other people" lol what a polite yet spot on description

This is shocking to hear. It is shocking to realize that children are raised in such chaotic environments. It should be illegal to witness this and ignore it for other grownups....

Yes the jekyll & hyde story was our lives.

I hit the jackpot as a kid. One is a Malignant Narcissist, and the other is BP.

I feel sorry for my mum for having this. However I’m disappointed she didn’t tell me till I was almost 30! She also didn’t do what she was meant to do after being diagnosed. I suffered as a child and young adult. I can’t explain the pain I suffered being in that environment. I’m moving forward now though and do realise it’s not her fault for being this way and nothing she said was actually personal. Prayers to you all ❤

With such a parent, relationships with significant others are always an arena of competition with you. You are always a thorn in their side, especially when you are still small and cute. They compete with you for the love of the other parent, their own parents, and so on.

I helped raise 5 of the ten children, I cleaned, diapered, did laundry, wrote checks and even ironed my dad's shirts all before my teen years. Aunt said to mother, "you will destroy this child". My parents divorced after i went to college- knowing it could affect me. I battled eating disorders, bpd, eventually became a scapegoat. I was part golden-child, kind, trying to help my parents, family. Father used me until he got old, then turned on me siding with the adult narcissistic siblings. Mother and I became close. She validated the cruelty said, "they were wrong- they're all mixed up" She said i was smarter than all my siblings- i think she meant emotionally- even though i was labelled the "sensitive" one. I walked away from all my siblings. It was like cutting off a limb, i truly want to be close, love them. I feel relief, yet, grieve the idea of close sisters, brothers. I'm pretty i have a few BPD in-laws, possibly siblings too. My father was a coersive npd, i heard the term at about age twelve- i was sent to a therapist who said, i was articulate, intelligent and wanted to see my parents. Now i see how parents tried to project their emotional issues onto me. A few siblings- copied that behavior into adulthood, scapegoated me. It became a way to defend their bad actions.

More videos on BPD abuse please.

Yea I grew up wondering why I couldn’t “help or fix” my mom. I witnessed the breakdowns, depression, addiction, impulsivity, anger, rage, the ongoing relationships she’d have, etc.

I'm not at all confused. This has been my mom from day 1. A sweetheart at heart but so damaged that she apparently can't help herself. Many of your examples are exactly what transpired, even at her age of 82!! I of course, as her child, have been traumatized by the thought of her passing but also from time to time, wondered about the feeling of release (as my eyes well up with tears). Thank you for this spot on explanation.

Happy Mother’s Day to Survivors who raised themselves while appeasing an untreated, personality-disordered parent. This video will tell you if were also raised by an Amber Heard! No wonder this trial is so obvious to me & triggering. I assumed from the law breaking, rage, & violence it was more likely Sociopathy in my experience (& with Amber). My abuser definitely has this type of malignant Borderline as well as Narcissism.

I grew up with a BPD mother with what seems like an infinite rage and hate. She is 95 now and still as evil as ever. I fear she’s going to outlive me and I’ll never know the feeling of release when she’s dead.

My mother still acts out greatly if i try to date (im 30). She either threaten blackmail or have a public meltdown making it too much of a weird thing for potential partner. She is totally wicked until you succumb to her wishes-then its a total 180 change. Sweet, overly doting etc. My mother has only calmed down a bit bc i think she realises im the only one left. It she runs me off she'll truly be alone since she has no friends.