Rage, Ongoing rage. Contempt for the way both parents treated us children.

Yep - mocked for my anger. Jay nailed it again. Concise and validating.

When I finally let my anger out and let that fuel my boundaries and snapping back at the passive aggressive bs in my family, they of course reacted as though I was just randomly overreacting. 😂Nope. Just not taking their crap anymore, but no matter how calm you remain while telling them to f off, you're the bad guy. Your anger is the protective parent you never had but always deserved.

Anger helped me escape. My anger is a signal to "check the fences" aka set and reinforce boundaries.

Thank you Dr Reid. This is such a painful issue for me, still today. I'm 60, I rebelled and advanced against those awful constrictions for decades now. I value my anger and I respect it and express it...yet the feeling of being wrong for doing that and therefore being unlovable, are still powerfully there.💔It's a never-ending war.

No one in my family origin can comprehend that my anger is legit. I hung up on the lady that birthed and raised me more than a year and a half ago. She stopped being my mom when she said shit about my dead boyfriend. Shes mad I hung up on her. I’m getting comfortable with my anger. I’m furious people tried to use grief to manipulate me. I’m actually really proud of myself for being able to accept the anger. I do my best not be judgmental.

The child's anger and frustration are the joy of the narcissistic parent and his minions. The more they see the scapegoat falter, the more they enjoy it; and if he gets out of control, this may justify further blame. It is not surprising if a person who experiences this type of abuse, on a daily basis and for years, at a certain point loses his mind and perhaps carries out violent acts such as, for example, throwing a punch in a window.

Such an accurate description of my inner turmoil.

I had an “anger problem”, according to my super covert, passive aggressive mother. What I did have was a problem that I was angry about, mostly caused by her subtle devaluation and constant shaming of me behind everyone’s back. Thank goodness for my grandma who saw it and rose to my defense.

Thank you for this video. I grew up, with an emotionally absent father and a narcissistic mother and sister. My mother passed on and I don't have any relationship with my sister. I have moved 600 km's away from my family and don't have any connection with anyone. My sister has turned the whole family against me and I have started to form my own family with friends. I have changed my career and I'm now a Corporate Laughter Wellness Facilitator and teacher and it has changed my whole life. I love life now. I'm still praying everyday for my sister.

I have sooo much anger bottled up inside. To the point that it u leashes suddenly and randomly- my kids have seen this, my husband shames me for it every single time…it is hard to navigate anger, it is hard to sit with it, to accept it- there seem to be oceans of it, like it were endless… Jay you are so validating so affirming so Knowledgeable. A blessing to all of us scapegoats. Thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart

Many times we can feel anger being projected onto us.

I read "The Dance of Anger" almost 40 years ago. It was even more strongly worded than this. It taught me that my anger is my friend, it is the impulse that protects me. I strongly recommend it if this resonates with you.

I live with my sociopathic family and I've been openly expressing my anger towards all of the abuse, violence and injustice. All it's done is increase the amount of abuse, violence and injustice I'm subjected to. I think anger is only safely expressed internally or when you're out of the situation. I need to submit until I'm gone. After that it's no contact.

It was not safe to be angry. I was punished, not physically, but verbally, emotionally. I was always wrong. My brother is the dominant narcissist. When we argued, sometimes pushing each other, we were told to “get along.” This meant that he was right and I was always wrong. Anger was wrong. I stuffed my anger. I didn’t express my hopes or anything precious to me. I put an emotional buffer zone around myself. I couldn’t talk with my parents about my troubles. I felt rejected, that I was defective. I stuffed my feelings. I stuffed my body with food, but felt no comfort. I stayed in my room a lot. Read books. And cried. A lot.

I was always further abused when I got angry with being abused. ...I dont know and never have known, anyone who isnt a narc or an enabler.

I feel like being able to be angry and express it towards my abusers literally saved my life. My anger isn't always appropriate now but I am learning that I have the right to be angry when mistreated or when my boundaries are crossed. Thank you for yet another excellent video, Jay. I can only hope to find a therapist as knowledgeable and empathetic as you are.

Been in recovery now since 2018 Your help is monumental to my remaining upright and trying each day to continue on when I would rather not be here at all Making sense of it Moving away - cut em off completely Living in defiance of NA rules It’s a kaleidoscope of memories and triggers and emotions Like a roller coaster times a Ferris wheel and a merry go round all at once I quit drinking in 2018 to stop running I left corporate job that was making me drink I am financially so vulnerable - and trying not to fear my future Cutting off the Abuse - working on anger Grief rage fear anxiety depression JUSTICE is what I need And that looks like me being more stable more esteem more love for myself and stopping the tapes that run through my heart mind and soul that’s been scratched to the core debilitating but I’m still standing MF

My narcissist mother has always provoked my anger and then used it against me as part of her narrative to turn everyone against me. So I’ve trained myself to have no reaction or a mild, casual reaction which gives her nowhere to go but to be frustrated. She’s a master manipulator so tries other tactics but I know those too. I can’t move out of the family home at 56 bc my disabled grandson needs me. So I focus on him & God & not the rest of my family that despises me.

Thank you Jay 😁 I have been dealing with this issue for a while. Mother and sister never took responsibility for their part in causing so much anger in me due to years of Mom showing blatant favoritism to G.C. I kept the anger bottled up. I am happy you are giving us such valuable and needed knowledge. Examples : Mother repeatedly missing my stressful recitals or spelling bee (s) to go watch G.C. tiptoe across the stage for 5 minutes dressed as the " Pink Panther " dancing to the theme music from the "Pink Panther"😁 Or asking me to send my 6 & 7 yr olds over, who were grieving the death of my husband ( their dad), and clean their new motor home that they just bought. They ( mom & dad), had taken G.C.'s entitled kids sightseeing and bought them toys. The kids left a mess. Mom wanted me to send my kids to clean up the mess G.C.'s kids made. She told me my kids were not going to be invited to go sightseeing with the next set of grandkids who she was taking the next day. She told me she just wanted my kids to clean it only. I politely told her..." My kids will not be cleaning up other kids' messes esp when you will not invite them, esp at a time like this when their dad just died." She became angry & hung up on me. She then told the other siblings and they could not understand why I didn't send my kids to clean the new motor home. I got mad this week just thinking about it. Well anyways, I feel better now. Thanks again, I needed to see this video today 😁

The only anger you're allowed to feel is anger turned inward.

I learned to endure my mother's fits of rage because I realized that she got pleasure in hurting me. So, I would stand there stoic and take the abuse and not let her see that she was hurting me. I would not give her that power of knowing she could hurt me.

This came at the time I needed it. Yesterday, I told my sister: You are pitiyful and it is a pity for you to tell me your younger sister that you do not want to talk to me (because I stood up for myself when she was actively shutting me down while I was speaking). I told her also that she needs God and she should repent for her evil heart. My other sister told me that I didn‘t have to say to the other „You are pityful“. I told her that I was right to express myself. In the other sister does not want to treat me right, I will express myself how I want to. I refuse to let people shut me down. I have to stand up for myself.

It's been almost a year since my Mother passed away. Mr. Jay is right on. I am starting to heal. I have a 21 year old, 6 and 5. I have been shamed after I told my Mom I had been and escaped sex and labor trafficking. She said "oh well, should have fought them off" 😮😮😮. I'm 5'3" and 135 lbs...I'm not fighting off 3 giant men. 😢

Great topic that I can relate to. Also, in schools, expressing anger often gets punished. Many teens rebel, but if they were conditioned to stifle their anger, they can often snap in adolescence with rebellion. In adulthood, the lack of job security can hold us back from expressing our anger because we know that it’ll put us at risk for getting fired.

Jay, you always hit the nail on the head. I remember grtting yelled at and sent to my room fot domething that wasnt even my fault, then slamming the door and my mother coming in my room withrage, just as you described. The memory actually made me tear up.

Good video. I think it is not the parents' needs but the parents' own anger that is thrust upon the kids. Parents' immaturity and inability to know what to do with their own anger at life and the evil inherent in others is thrust upon the kids. Many parents never reflect on why they are doing what they are doing. They never find a moral compass. Being angry is a necessary emotion but knowing how to find a mature way to deal with it is lacking in these parents. Kids grow up with little understanding of how the world works because we were not allowed to be angry at our immature, morally bankrupt parents and/ or the morally bankrupt behaviors of others. If we fail to find a moral compass and live by it, we will simply replicate the behavior of our parents. The bible says, "be angry but sin not". to me that means to act in way that does not return evil for evil. and that is very, very difficult because acting out is easier than being soft but strong, tough but tender.☺

Perfect timing!

Thank you Jay, I can relate so much to your videos. My sisters were horribly abusive to me, and even as an adult they can freak out and scream at me over nothing. It’s like my mothers abuse has given everyone in my life the green light to abuse me. That’s the legacy of a narcissistic mother .

Wow!!! Yes, and thank you!

Thank you very much .

Thank you, I seriously struggle with this

My parent never had a reason. It was more raging and wanting someone to take it out on and as the youngest I had less opportunity to escape so I became the scapegoat for whatever. I was ultra compliant as a child and in a way that was my self defense, I would give no justification for the abuse. Maybe that was my anger but I remember sadness more than anger. I didn’t really understand. The scapegoat thing grew I think. It was a secret agreement that was never stated. I was just treated as unworthy. My father acknowledged it by-apologizing to me in my teens, he said he’d made an agreement with my mother that he’d stay out of raising the children if she’d stay out of his career. I think he should have found a way, at least send me to a therapist so I’d have someone to talk to, but that would reveal the secret of the abuse I guess. My mother explained my gray-rocking as retarded (also a justification for treating me different) and when the school did IQ tests, I tested as gifted and that resulted in the school wanting to move me to a special school, drawing attention to the false justification. She felt exposed and raged at the school, then punished me really bad for months. It is good to understand how this type of experience plays out. I think we who have it acquire characteristics from it that are similar. I am challenged by standing up for my self. And the complaint thing has persisted. Also not recognizing anger, can mean missing the red flag that a person just might be someone to stay away from. Maybe that is why the survivor sometimes makes narcissistic friends? Am trying to figure out what characteristics are from the childhood scapegoat thing are so I can work on discarding them. Impressed that some of you have found family in your friends. I think the absence of a family that supports you is a big stumbling block for scapegoat survivors. Think it creates a dangerous weakness. Independence but also a weakness. The narcissist is like a bull in a China shop and their children are the china. But there is a story of an orient practice of repairing China with gold making it more beautiful. I wish all of you beautiful gold and a good adulthood, great adulthood 😊.

Wow, this video is gold 🏅Explicitly explained. Dealing with anger has always been a tough one for me. Thanks Jay 🙏for breaking down the dimensions of anger experienced by the scapegoat child. Hope you and Brizo🐕have a lovely 🪁weekend further✨🌟🌈

Thanks again for such an in depth look at what we experience throughout life growing up but have difficulty putting into words, your videos are always a refreshing source where I can feel welcomed, understood and shown how I can enjoy life more now as an adult whereas before there was nothing to look forward to. Anger has always been something I’ve always struggled with even now as a grown man and have seen how it has been a detriment to my developing as a whole person ,it is tough and I’ve always felt that if I could get rid of that guilt and accept my anger that then I would t have to deal with all the shame associated with it but it’s so hard to do ,I wouldn’t know where to start

Thank you.. after watching ...i need so much time to digest and understand! Even with your degrees I still can't understand how you know me so exactly I cry for days after just one video? I've always thought of myself as independent but I've been controlled the entire almost six decades now. Going to read the ebook one day I will call you. Its scary af 14.30 OMG I have been looking for this answer ❤❤

thank you!

9:20 - Dr. Reid describes that example as "very cruel and scathing" Dude, I lived through that and worse words. His examples always sound so much more gentle than the reality. Of course, no offense meant toward him

This is way off topic and maybe a bit inappropriate but Jay, you're a very good-looking man. Looks, intelligence and empathy! The good Lord did right by you in those departments!

That’s a very true statement, “nobody knows nor accepts them”. I have lived my entire life believing this deep inside, it is my internal dialogue and core belief. Also, I believe nobody cares. And as a survivor of sexual abuse, if somone even seems to care, I suspect it’s an act to manulipate me. And the flat feelings too. I always felt if I could only turn up the volume like on an old radio, but it isnt that easy. It’s almost a feeling of being dead inside. However, I’m still learning and working on my issues. Thankfully I have a little sister who loves and believes in me and vice versa. Thank you for you insights and help Dr. Reid and to your viewers who respond and post.

I always remember feeling so flat emotionally my entire life. Like a radio with the sound turned way way down. And even therapists had no idea what I was trying to express. But watching this video over and over now I am begining to understand that what the feeling flat is all about. Re anger, it has been too risky to let it out. Instead I turned it inward. Not a good thing and I do not recommend it. It can lead to serious illness and even suicide. I find it very interesting that my career was to be other people’s voice as their advocate and fight for them. Which is almost impossible to do that for myself without becoming triggered and dysregulated. It all fits now. Thank you Dr. Reid for all the help I am learning from your videos. You should have millions of subscribers. That is my wish, millions of subscribers and millions of us learning learning what you so freely share with us. Thank you.

I've been Vanessa, both in distress and in therapy, slowly and safely being guided to bring my anger to life, feeling empowered, scared, and sad, too, but gaining energy, confidence, and ambition as never before. Most surprising is getting in touch with a little sense of humor that’s coming up.

My parents sent me to a psych ward after an argument. Kind of extended over a period. I told my then assigned psychiatrist dr that I had issues with my boss (and parents), and he said he didn't care. I got angry, and he said he was going to increase my dosage (he had already prescribed me risperdal that morning). Later, the psychologist reduced it again, since it was too much for me. Then I was on meds for a long while. A few years later, my mom was rude to me and aggressive, which was frequent unless I avoided her, and I got angry back. So I raised my voice. My mom then threatened me with increasing my dosage. But my new drs at that stage said that my mother was crazy, and that anger or a raised voice in response to verbal abuse, insults and gaslighting, was the correct response.

Another classic powerful insight, Jay, thank you so much for sharing your gift of voicing what we are experiencing yet cannot put a language or structure around. Finally knowing the words and structure of our experience is liberating!

I like to see Brezo when he goes to the office for filming time.

Love love love your faithful dog❤

THANKS FOR YOUR ANGER VIDEO. That's the main reason people stay stuck in the scapegoat tole. They allow the anger the abuser, but never themself.

HOLY SHIT HOW ARE YOU READING MY MIND LIKE THIS?! I'M GOING TO BUY YOUR BOOK.

Yes, anger is a gift - it tells you something is wrong. Ferret out cause and manage it - in the name of humanity

Omg. Your videos are exactly my childhood, I'm having so many flashback everytime I listen to video. It's like our parents all went to the same class - it's insane.

Great video man! It really hits home. Thanks for sharing your research 🙏🏻

Thank you,I do struggle with these issues!

Have stuffed my anger since childhood. I want to get in touch with it again.

So helpful

Problem is working on making that anger come out right instead of in fits of rage.

Extremely helpful summary. We all have the right to sadness and anger and joy. It’s not the right of a sole individual or class of people. So damn basic. So crazily common to repress it for adaptive ‘safety.’ (I put safety in quotes because ultimately it’s not safe to repress it once we get out of the unsafe situation in adulthood or escape).

5:15 "Behind closed doors the narcissistic parent may explode in anger at minor offenses committed by the scapegoat child"... In my teenage years, if I arrived a little late for dinner my enraged father would wait until after dinner when mom and brother had gone to their rooms and then start in on me. He would yell at and berate me until I was so overcome with fear (terrorized) that I would physically retreat and curl up in fetal position under the kitchen table. I would cry and beg him to stop yelling at me, but he would just keep coming at me until I got angry and yelled back at him. Only then would he back down. Now it is the only way I know how to get people to stop if they break my boundaries or harass me. Once I have reacted with rage to get the personal space I need, I am flooded with shame and plummeting self worth. Vicious cycle.

I just have such apathy toward anger. Every time I try to process the injustice of being the Scapegoat I know I am angry about how child me was treated but it wasn't allowed then and being angry now is just such wasted emotional energy. When I feel anger I just ask myself, "What better emotion could I feel right now?" and try to do that and channel that anger into a positive reaction not just lashing out. Their anger at all the wrong times with the unhealthy reactions that accompany them is why I have always taken the time to think, "Is this really worth being angry over?" and most of the time it isn't. It's just reacting to things that you learned angered/upset your Narc and you're repeating a pattern.

ThankU oh yes I identify. To even feel anger causes terror then automatic shutdown. Which drives the anger inward, clamped down, can only emerge as rage. It behooves me to develop "healthy anger", cuz the rage feels so worse. The family had a narcissistic system, both parents & older sibling were a triangle of rage

Love the new series, clearer structure and better audio quality!

Amazing video. Very clear thank you

Guys, listen to that video: the best description I heart of the definition Narcissist! I realized that I als was auditiv selective. Not hearing the massive attack, neglect, blame ect.by them. I ignored and only heart what I needed to hear. Thus acknowledgment of how bad the other, my partner, me treats it give me healthy. I ANGER. I had also to hud, because I was too afaid that I am banished when I force my standards/values bring into play. THAT I will do from now on. No more excusing him. Game over!

Am reading your comments and several have mentioned a sibling that was narcissistic. I think in my family that dynamic had a roll in my being the scapegoat. My mother would say you girls and punish me for things she had done. I think in part it was my mother’s way of getting along with my sister because she could avoid my sister’s reaction to punishment. Has anyone else here had that dynamic in their family.

Which I’m trying to recover from now even 10 year’s on sober an now nowin who I am today is a blessing an a painful curse hate that word as we scapegoat chidren did not deserve to live in that much pain just for having beautiful empathic hearts hope this helps anybody to not hav to endure a life like I did , my worse regret was that I threw my sick conditioning could not track out for help as jay is saying hear are needs would b way to shameful to b met , if anybody reads this I hope y find the courage to reach out don’t suffer in silence like the toxic family want u to do ❤🙏

Love you Jay, thanks for doing vids.

Yes, this is valuable information,Thank you

Thank you for your work.. I an having a breakthrough watching your videos. I was shamed at my anger and then it continued outside my family. Gaslighting I guess.

Thank you for taking the time to explain this. It helps me understand my husband.

This was incredibly helpful. So many laser insights into the mechanisms of anger, shame, fight and flight responses. And wonderful illustration through the example stories. Pure gold. Thank you always for your friendly expertise and trust inspiring manner. 😊

This video is full of extremely helpful examples. Thank you very much and congratulations for the way you were able to understand the topic.

Violent kids in group homes the ones that are just THROWN OUT of the defunct Family system ! They must get pushed too far by parental neglect that they POP! I watched this in my Nephew! His Mother, my sister was so BLATANTLY ABSENT MINDED she made that child a MESS! He got too angry to be around for any “normal “ person just trying to get through their day! He just liked to BREAK THINGS! But my narcissistic Mother also played into it! It’s a machine that has so many bad parts that makes these kids! I always wished the kids could know this and DROP the fallacy that Mom or Dad can save them! They haven’t YET! Ya know?

Hiding my anger makes me somewhat mysterious.... because it also has made me less motivated than every person I admire. I don't see their anger I just see their motivation/ drive. And I must say the few times I have experienced my anger were amazing to me and totally unexpected! I'm sure my kids don't know that any anger they thought they were seeing was not even real.... with them I could at least act as if I felt angry. LOL

💜

I feel it was dangerous to show a reaction to my father's bullying. I believe that as a result of this, a lot of my emotions were unfelt and buried. When I have gone through periods of depression, it is usually triggered by work burnout/ or being bullied at work/ fear of being bullied by someone I saw bully others at work. Mostly I know all of this has been triggered by my upbringing with my alcoholic, narcissistic father who bullied me. Often during these times I am quick to anger myself, I know as a result of being ill. This isn't accepted by my brother. It is seen as bad to get angry as Dad got angry and feel like I am being compared to him. Also, my partner, who had a nurturing safe childhood . Doesn't seem to understand or accept the anger. Feel I generally avoid expressing my anger to others as it feels like it won't be accepted.

My narc mother fained anger an distress at the slightest disappointment as a kid growing up , it led to a life of addiction trauma an toxic shame , I had no idea about narcissistic mothers fathers , kicked out s left home at 15 by the time I was 19 the terror an panic attack was so horrific I disconnected from my true self , hence sadly living a sorrow life of addiction, even tho I managed to buy my own house an hav business by the time I was 21 I had lost myself so badly I had to medicate myself an become a functioning addict, until of course by the time I hit 40 ended in rehab , for six years into my sobriety stil had no idea who I was until, the hand of god come down an put me into the dark night of the soul , long story but everything exploded in me threw lots of writing an goin back over my journey until I had an awakening an remembered myself at 19 an saw my face in the mirror for the first time in 30 years this led to unbelievable internal pain

I'm still struggling with this years after estranging from my parents. Although I don't deal with rage or ongoing, active anger at my mom or dad, I don't know how to deal with strong feelings towards other people and instead get angry at myself for feeling annoyed or even inconvenienced. Like when my neighbors constantly play music at a volume I can hear through the wall. I don't even need to express the feeling -- so much as having the feeling will start me feeling bad for not just "letting them live."

Rage. There is only blood hot murderous destructive rage. Anger? I giggle at anger, its CUTE.

I used to react to narcissistic abuse from all 3 of my toxic family of origin members, I would stand up for myself and argue back, but that just made it look like I was the crazy one to outsiders. I stopped showing my anger and stopped reacting to them and I have fallen into a depression and I isolate. I'm so thankful for my wonderful son and dog, they are good souls who mean well. I just wish I could get out of this depression. I still have contact with the parents but I think that is what is causing my depression, because of the invalidating comments. I tried going no contact but the guilt and emotional pain was unbearable. I'm not sure what could help me to have some self confidence without it being constantly shot down

Dr. Daija for the glow up! 💫

Thank you so much! I am basically Vanessa...I also would like to ask, could you suggest some ways to productively express anger?

Very insightful. Thank you.

Spot on and so helpful,thank you.🙏💪

My husband is the abused son of a manipulative narcissistic father, who has used guilt as his main weapon against my husband to keep him doing things he wants. Basically we allowed my father-in-law to temporarily live with us a year ago, because his wife passed from breast cancer. Needless to say the living situation hasn't worked & we've addressed him head on several times saying he needs to move out. He gives sob stories & uses his loneliness & grieving to make my husband feel sorry for him. We're exhausted & burnt out from having a toxic shady individual in our home, it's a uncomfortable environment of walking on eggshells. How do we kick him out without involving law or causing a scene?? Please help....

I hope Venessa never talks to her mother again.

Is it the same thing if the narcissistic one was your stepfather who came into your life right before your adolescence?

Hello community, I need some help. I was escape goat (not to go to much in this), but my niece is as well, and I witnessed so many times family doing this thing to hear and I witnessed it, (I have child and not in the right situation myself, I'm still escape goat but I understand and I am out of the family) this week I didn't know how to help her? I can't tell her directly becuse they still play the games with me, and can't afford this as I have to care for my child . But my heart is crushed, she is only 10

I pray you don’t add fuel to fire, but be a channel of healing by managing the situation wisely, Maybe Vanessa needs to tell her mother about all the hurt and wrong that she caused - giving the mother a chance, an opportunity to change her behaviour and in sincerity to ask her daughter for forgiveness. I would say try to move towards healing and restoration of SOME SORT. However, If the mother is a true (psychopathic) narcissistic personality disorder then the situation needs to be very carefully managed with support from a good & healthy & decent therapist who may help her to manage the situation with wisdom. It doesn’t have to be cutting people, especially a parent out of your life and thereby spreads even more pain & evil doing. IF you are wrong and the mother isn’t actually narcissist but just very ill informed old fashioned mothering that IS wrong, and the mother takes her own life because of the pain - will you be there to mop up the guilt? Who carries that dirty word - responsibility. Young man - you have a very powerful demeanour but you’ve things to learn in life. DO NOT SPREAD VITRIOLE. There are different cultures to consider and different times. Emotionally I think America was emancipated probably 230 ish years ago. I lived there for 5 years, it’s a different culture - behind in a lot of things but forward in many other things. Tread softly and be kindly I say. Be wise, be sensible, there is always more than one way to ‘skin a cat’ as we say in Uk - Iest more than one way to solve a problem. Validate Vanessa - absolutely! Please don’t take people down the vicious road - things like parental alienation may have been in play etc etc - you just don’t know for sure… but remember you can be the instigator of events that may cause the parent to take their lives because of the pain and again, the vitriole instigated. Counselling is an extremely powerful position - we don’t like to think that BUT it actually is. Until you have walked a mile in Vanessa’s shoes AND her mothers you will not know everything. I’m a professionally trained therapist too and I am so disgusted with my profession and what seems to be single-minded purported “If you deem them toxic then dump them, and do it silently”. You CANNOT KNOW ALL THE FACTS but please work towards what can be done. I’m. Not ssuggesting they jump in the fire either. I am a retired therapist and a survivor of narcissistic abuse by a covert narcissist. I know what it’s like to be taken apart brick by brick and I wouldn’t want that for anyone - BUT MANAGEMENT - WISE & CAREFUL MANAGEMENT WITH GOOD STRONG SUPPORT, knowing ALWAYS you may not know the clear truth. You PLEASE, DONT ADD MORE DESTRUCTION. May you have the humility to even think about this. Thank you for listening x

Talking without management tools offered is a waste of time. These videos are too long to do not get to the core points..

I have a question about feeling angry/ abandoned maybe when I point out btw this is wrong they often go into silent treatment of don't engage just put him out. U are an issue my head hurts. And it's like bro why is it suddenly when bs detector is on u are suddenly busy and lots of things to do

I find I am often angry with police not cus of them as people and their behavior is wrong. I wonder often do I have a right to be this angry and why is there no protection and why do ppl just not want to see just think well police deal with shit ppl so them treating them like shit is non of my business. And or isolation of like look at how hard this person is after doing false intamcy, gaslighting and asking permission instead of doing what ever the fuck I want and not asking if they like it or not. As in filming interactions cus gaslighting is a fav trick of theirs and for me its like bro this is painful in ways u dont understand. And or their job is hard. Personally I don't understand why they think their status will protect them. Seeing as I don't value status lols. And also often use the strat of I am older this most recent expirence was first telling them huh we both adults now so I don't have to see it your way then I called their behavior pathetic and called them out. Not a proud moment and if I am so low status why do I have the right. Even tho u treating me like I am a criminal I am not so honestly get bent. I always wondered what those eyes of ppl in police "custody" ment in hopsotal it means u are dealing with bullies and cowards. How do I stop ruminating about these expirences? It does activate me and send me into a ready respawns which feels not too good with chemicals and such. And what do u do when they hold court and u intervening only hurts me and other person just want to let them do it and not tell them to fuck off. I also have a question about their wide eyes when I call them out it's almost like they r saying shit u r saying the quiet part outloud. Always these wide eyes of idk fear and or surprise. Unsure of emotion I use my own emotions to try and understand others and I don't know this emotion. Wanting to fight and flee at same time same dude. I found that as well I said at least I don't pretend to be nice. And honestly I don't think I am nice or nasty I think I am weak and strong at same time. I think I can be nasty and or nice and yet I feel like my anger is always weaponized against me. Like just take it on nose and move on like no fuck these ppl. Sometimes it's not safe to express your self choose your battles carefully and idk I don't have energy always to tell them they r free to think and feel what ever they want. Vanessa and me seem to have a few things in common good video thanks. Sometimes u want them to know btw your behavior is pathetic and I don't respect u and your status means nothing to me.

Omg. Your videos are exactly my childhood, I'm having so many flashback everytime I listen to video. It's like our parents all went to the same class - it's insane.