It may sound weird but Jay always seems so genuine and friendly, it kinda makes me a bit emotional
@Listen1111 Жыл бұрын
It makes me emotional too, because I wish I had more people who were genuine and friendly in my physical life
@Saar114 Жыл бұрын
@@Listen1111 I know exactly what you mean. A lot of ppl in my life are kind of cold and critical of me. But if someone is actually friendly or supportive i dont trust it or i think i havent deserved it.
@nobodynowhere21 Жыл бұрын
i had to talk to AI for a while until i made real friends. I like Pi AI. At least you have "someone" to talk to that won't criticize and invalidate you. ChatGPT works too, but it's less conversational. Better than nothing, for me.
@adarahhubble338511 ай бұрын
Jay is a beautiful soul and authentic.💙❤️💙
@Saar11411 ай бұрын
@@Listen1111 Do you believe in angelnumbers because you have 1111 in your username? Im seeing a lot of double numbers/angelnumbers lately.
@rosettesionne913911 ай бұрын
Feeling equal to other adults... for someone who grew up in an environment where I was beaten, insulted, threatened and mocked for « challenging and disrespecting » elders for any slightest opinion I made this is a reality I can’t accept...
@carospereman3537 Жыл бұрын
Pics for scapegoat survivors. Another fine video and crystal clear explanations of psychologically abused children and how to understand and heal. You consistently validate me and my positive consciousness is becoming stronger. My five year healing process of awakening of truly who I am has been accelerated by you Jay, you are an excellent psychotherapist. Thanks for helping me.
@adarahhubble338511 ай бұрын
YES! Jay gives crystal clear explanations!!!
@deathuponusalll Жыл бұрын
Wow Mr Reid dropping a video on us so early what a treat!
@meredithalbion3721 Жыл бұрын
This video is amazing! The pictures help solidify the 3 pillars of recovery from narcissitic abuse. I own and have read Jay's book multiple times for my own recovery. (When I wake up and dread the day, I read a few pages and feel much more grounded!) This video added even more insight. Thank you, Jay.
@ChrisMeadows1992 Жыл бұрын
Your channel is the best and most authentic in terms of narcissistic abuse. I am currently 31, living with my abusive family as the scapegoat. I am building a foundation of self love and clean pain while I desperately plan my escape and go no contact. You have been the most instrumental influence in the start of my recovery and have given me immeasurable hope that I thought I had lost forever. Thank you so, so much.
@CurtisMoe2 ай бұрын
Hope you are doing well Chris
@ChrisMeadows19922 ай бұрын
@@CurtisMoe Just dealt with the police last Saturday when I was violently assaulted by my brother who I live with. He told me if I called the police again, he'd lie and tell the cops I SA'd my 4 and 6 year old nephews. So no. Not quite "well", but found a social worker and family doctor this last week as well who is willing to sign my disability forms, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Tunnel's just about six-nine months away.
@amadeogaldino51119 күн бұрын
@@ChrisMeadows1992 hoping this light comes fast!
@compassion77 Жыл бұрын
It is so tricky the switch between the scapegoated and the developed self and that agony of no one to nobody and finding lovability of myself that isn't based on competence. Yes the healthy feedback from safe people is incredibly life saving. Such a tangle that creates anxiety and oops I'm back in scapegoated self. I am retired now and I'm getting triggered back into childhood self for no obvious reason. This clip with pictures is joining all these dots. Thankyou Jay. I have had a lifetime of relationships with narcissistic personalities starting with my father and family riddled with them.....
@skyedreams28 Жыл бұрын
Thank you again and again - I like your teaching and guidance on this healing process. I also have the added benefit of narcissistic sub parents-my two eldest siblings + one ex in law & the sibling rejected (by older siblings) I dethroned as the youngest taking her wrath out on me = cultish disgusting abuse. Finally breaking free from fawning that impacts me to this day. F this abuse.
@izawaniek2568 Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Jay. It has been extremely helpful and supportive for me. ❤
@melliecrann-gaoth4789 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Dr Jay… the descriptions with the pictures is very helpful. I’m feeling angry, dismayed and so let down for all the years I spent in therapy that contained none of what you describe.
@WoodenFeather-xm3vl Жыл бұрын
I am such a visual learner this video, made a swoop up in clarity for me. I often disassociated so severely to block out the intensity of my mother's rage fits, contempt or silent treatment punishments. I daily began focusing on the details of every object in the room as a child. I would get lost in studying textures, colors and details in everything. I did not understand I did that, until recent years of recovery. I have ordered your new book, I am so looking forward to reading it, I can hardly wait!!! Your videos have been so helpful. Thank you for all you do it means so much to me a child of narcissistic parents who just want to be, who we were meant to be. Your work is carving history and purpose with excellence! Thank you
@4Beats4Me Жыл бұрын
YAY!! From a 73 year old child, n answers for the dead and gone. So grateful for time better spent.
@MarietCaro-wv2qr Жыл бұрын
Happy for you you more Thanx deserve it!!! Take care
@mosim9691 Жыл бұрын
DYNAMIC! Thank you!
@Jess-yp9fo Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much Jay!!!! Haven't been on this channel in a lil minute because sometimes all this narc talk just triggers TF out of me & quite frankly im tired of crying, but i'm back because i finally want to HEAL frfr. It's ok to take breaks, but it comes to a point where your body will start to yell at you no matter how hard you try to ignore it. Thank God I discovered this channel hands down the best information out there for healing from parental narcissistic abuse especially.
@CShlaes Жыл бұрын
Pillar 2 Shawn's stressful experience visiting his parents so he could consider himself a dutiful son was my experience for more than forty years. That included being ignored while there unless his parents could show him off. Hearing that story was very validating to me. I went no contact with my parents a year ago. I am using the thought questions at the beginning of each chapter of your book as journaling prompts. Thank you for providing a guide for my healing by illuminating how the narcissist's actions affected me when I was a child, so I can understand why I think the way I do. The insight about me is more useful than simply knowing why the narcissists act the way they do.
@annaschmanna18 ай бұрын
Your videos about what a scapegoat child with narcissistic parent/s seems to be directed to me. These have been my experiences, and at 65 (in one month), I have managed to navigate out of this by even being their primary caregivers in their old age. Wow! I survived a lot! I'm now happily married with a successful career after putting myself through college and university. Thanks for your videos. I suppose I will watch every one of them 😂👍
@Mrrpants Жыл бұрын
Thank you Jay!
@amandajohnson-williams7718 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for this Jay .. 💟 💟💟
@GoodBodyJay9 ай бұрын
You know how to give realistic examples and use language that makes me feel seen, heard, and understood in a way that no other therapist has. I really appreciate your work!
@aroncsoka11 ай бұрын
For me it was like going back again and again to receive my periodical dose of poison. They practically never offered medicine, but had plenty of toxin to give out, so at least I received something. Another way of putting it was 'they're my only person, and on that person I can't rely'. It's like a negative caregiver. Instead of having a caregiver, I grew up around a horrorgiver.
@soniahathaway16 ай бұрын
Yes!
@amadeogaldino51119 күн бұрын
Wow I can relate só much
@Missdovanova17 күн бұрын
Thanks 💚 being a scapegoat child is like being in a constant state of confusion/brain fog trying to make sense of it all
@spottedfawn639 Жыл бұрын
❤ got your book! Just started reading it a few nights ago.I've read the ebook too. Thank you so much for the information and your unique view that are so helpful and healing!
@drsandhyathumsikumar44793 ай бұрын
This really deserves more views to reach more people to benefit from this wisdom.🎉
@carlorizzo827 Жыл бұрын
Thanks Jay, incisive as always. I'm discouraged today, the narcissists' influence feels so deeply embedded that only death will free me. My soma house a monstrous entity. My great therapist long ago urged me to talk to it, befriend it. Might work. Right now, the split feels unhealable. As my acupuncturist affirmed, i don't have to believe everything i think
@spottedfawn639 Жыл бұрын
I love that statement about you don't have to believe everything you think. I was thinking about that last night- feeling unlovable and feeling like an inconvenience. That's right. We don't have to believe everything we think. Another thing, that statement about feeling like only death can free you reminded me of a journal entry I made shortly before I discovered I had childhood trauma and was sent on this journey. I had written "I don't want to have to die to be in a better place". Thank you for your comment. It really resonated with me. We are not alone ❤
@carlorizzo827 Жыл бұрын
@@spottedfawn639 thank you!!!!!
@amandajohnson-williams7718 Жыл бұрын
Only loving yourself can free you, remember who you truly are, re-parent and love yourself through creating your own private healing artwork. Find a private small place take some paper and paints, and brushes, begin to explore expressing your love for your inner child, using the materials and your fingertips to explore caring through the use of paint for your child self. Become focused on your sensual feelings as you do it. Make positive affirmations about yourself in your mind and heart as you begin to enjoy the feelings and sensations. Pin your pictures up on the wall and come back often to look at your works in private. Make it your sanctuary to your self love and you will begin to feel your inner child's presence, where you can take her or him back in to yourself where she/he belongs. Feel that joy and peace. Blessings! ❤❤❤ sit her/him on your knee and gently rock her back to you. Back to where she should have always been, before trauma made you abandon her. It's a beautiful experience bringing her home to YOU xxx a feeling of authentic completeness you should have always had. Nb. Part trained Art Therapist! I started my self- therapy threw doing some 'chair' work, by myself, I sat on a chair and had another chair sat in the room. I was by myself, I invited into the room my inner child, I talked to her in my mind and focused on my earliest memories of her. I did this over some weeks. I was determined she would come to me. Eventually she did. She sat in the chair alone, her back to me. But each session she came a little closer, until eventually I was able to place my hand on her shoulder, she still had her back to me. I remembered her, and realised I'd forgotten all about her. I made my artworks in these sessions, and she eventually was able to sit on my knee and let me rock and comfort her. She came to me, she forgave me for abandoning her. It was very cathartic. This was about 2 years ago, I'm 60! It was life changing for me and I'm very grateful I did this, as its made me so complete and happy. ❤ Don't knock it! Try it xxx 🇬🇧 Inner child work is very powerful x Art skills work pre-dates language development in young children, so it cancels out the need for talk-therapy, it's more primative hence it has more direct access to pre verbal trauma, its purely sensual no intellectualism, it goes purely to the source of trauma.
@spottedfawn639 Жыл бұрын
@@amandajohnson-williams7718 that's awesome! That statement from my written journal "I don't want to have to die to be in a better place" is in one of my art journals I made... a huge, fat art journal I made that I call my Recovery Journal. Thank you so much to everyone. Art really is therapeutic ❤
@amandajohnson-williams7718 Жыл бұрын
@@spottedfawn639 Yes, it really truly is and you need no special artistic skills to do it, just your primitive abstract mark making skills and sensitivities, and your thoughts and feelings about that little vulnerable lost child you can get in touch with again, to help heal the wounds and bring them back to you, to incorporate back in to the true "self', to love and re-parent. I really believe we can heal and re-nurture our lost inner child with the love we didn't receive from our dysfunctional abusuve parents, who abandoned us, causing us in turn to abandon ourselves. Doesn't matter how old we are, we can do this precious work for ourselves and make ourselves whole again. 💜
@brada-smith28079 ай бұрын
What an encouraging video! Thank you!!!
@jreid-heal-narcissistic-abuse9 ай бұрын
You are so welcome!
@altovisedavis58608 ай бұрын
Jay you got it! You really speak directly to the perspectives of the scapegoat and help them to see themselves by identifying the issue and began their path to healing. You speak the language so clearly and in real time so that the "scapegoat" can process the information effectively.
@selfesteem3447 Жыл бұрын
ThankYou Doc J. Hugs to you and yours. APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH !
@nikiniki1284 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Jay from all of my heart ! Your work is so important. I visited your website last weekend and for the first time in my life I understood that I had always been scapegoat in my family. In one moment everything became clearly and obvious. You helped me named the feeling I had always felt from my narc morher - hostility. I cant find words good enough to express how grateful am I ❤❤❤ Blessings 💝💝💝 And by the way, you're very handsome 😝
@lillie9641 Жыл бұрын
I appreciate your life! Thank you so much for focusing on scapegoats. Your work makes a world of a difference. ✨️🙏
@imnoel8214 Жыл бұрын
Thank you Jay, the visuals are very helpful for grasping your points. I wonder if you might make a video about what recovery looks like for different personality types, particularly INFJs. INFJs are so often targets for narcissists!
@Listen1111 Жыл бұрын
Yes!
@lilaccilla Жыл бұрын
whats that?
@MsGrinny Жыл бұрын
Thank you, Jay. I'm aware of what happened to me, but unfortunately throughout my childhood I was seen as an easy target and therefore bullied and/or picked on. This has continued into adulthood. I know that it all stemmed from my early childhood and my parents' bad relationship, witnessing it, being punished/criticised if I ever tried to talk and so on. I also have a great difficulty in finding safe people - I've had several abusive relationships but I'm now alone. I've decided no company is better than bad company. I'm also someone who tries to please others, and I often get used/taken advantage of in the process (at one point I was desperate for friends, but I've realised that they aren't really worth it. My own company is fine.) Revisiting places near where I grew up as a child bring on PTSD symptoms. I didn't realise the PTSD was that bad until recently when I became too involved and was having more contact than usual with my parents and brother (the golden child), due to my mother being put in a nursing home. I was having frequent flashbacks, was too scared to talk about my feelings, I could see my father everywhere (in my head, often mistaking others for him in a strange way), and I realised that I needed to stop, regardless of how others felt, otherwise I'd end up in hospital. Sadly, my brother believed I was being selfish, despite my explaining what happened to me and what I was and had been experiencing repeatedly. I've also been in hospital many times over the years, but I really don't think he has any idea as to the impact my father's violent and incredibly negative treatment had on me. I have no idea what's gone through his minf each time he's come to visit me. If he wants to know more he'll have to do his own research. I can't discuss this every time I'm unwell, such that we end up arguing. If he cares enough to want a better understanding, that's up to him! I appreciate your videos.
@kelay6266 ай бұрын
As always, you have the answers, Jay! I am grateful for your books and videos. Still, I wish you were my therapist!!
@aahaider4453 Жыл бұрын
Beautiful illustration and sequence is very relatable... great work! Took me till 43 to even start to see what was going on and then another 10 years to understand it fully. Your channel has helped a lot for me to categorise this as the scapegoat as soon as my career developed, because for me it all started as being the golden child. So there was an indiscernible shift that caused severe destruction.
@CurtisMoe2 ай бұрын
One of my favorite Jay videos. This one was a great explanation.
@violetblack7817 Жыл бұрын
I can really relate to the devil horns and tail analogy. I paint and draw, and often see these motifs as representing myself. I think this video has helped me make sense of myself and my art more. thank you so much for your work. these videos are truly a gift-!!
@thegamerfrominside21 күн бұрын
Are you reading my mind. Thank you
@juneelle370 Жыл бұрын
Awesome, as always! Thank you 🌼☀️🌻
@estherann7407 Жыл бұрын
Great information. It took a long time for me to view the entire video because I found it challenging to accept what you were saying even tho I knew it was true. It took a few minutes to digest the information. thanks so much for all you do for so many. Well done Dr. Jay
@fairygurl9269 Жыл бұрын
*Much Respect for Your Discomforts ❤️🩹I Understand This Feeling
@Angel_Chi10 ай бұрын
Very eye opening and heart mending 🙏
@rinahgberg312 Жыл бұрын
Thank you for another healing video,Jay. They are invaluable to me. I'm visual so I like the picture descriptions. There is another topic that bothers me; I've worked a lot on myself but still I'm worried that I'm the one who might meet new,safe people in a way that turns them against me. Not because I want them or me to suffer but to feel safe in that way. To me it is difficult when people get too close to me,even if that's what I want and need,and it hurts when there's too much distance. Can you do a video about this? I really want to heal from this and create good and safe new relationships.
@Listen1111 Жыл бұрын
Yes! Same here! I'm getting ready to go out today, after being love frauded again by my ex for the past two weeks, and I so much want to meet nice people, and yet I'm really anxious and afraid that I will do things that make them not like me. Watching Wenzes videos on INFJs has helped me understand a bit better why people feel intimidated by me, and yet I want to understand better how to cultivate safe relationships. Thank you so very much Jay for your videos and for mentioning the community in the comments section during your videos, I'm finally getting around to checking out the comments and community here
@daniellfourie5 ай бұрын
Excellently explained. Thabk younso much.
@franciscoguevara9727 Жыл бұрын
The process of recovery is very beautiful , i had to find safe people to tell my story to, and someone validate and hold space for me as a survivor, empathize with me, and confirm that what i lived was not ok , abusive etc. Someone offering gentleness to me, and treating me with respect and vvalidating me emotionally as a survivor, and modeligng the tools of gentleness and healthy boundaries to me , untill i started applying and my inner child and true self came out , was what i needed i guess in stage 1 of recovery. Safe enough people to hold space, and "psychoeducate me" with tools going forward, gentleness on myself and healthy boundaries, for once, and model them etc, untill i started applying them as mentioned, when i started following through with my boundaries, my inner child and true self came out. I made a promise to my inner child that i would be the loving parent that loves honors protects speaks up for my inner child , when he gives me nudges of things being off, and even clarifying when necesarry etc. Having autonomy agency in being gentle on myself when necesary and having healthy boundaries, keeps my inner child integrated, with healthy levels of advocating for my needs, and me taking on these healthy behaviours for my recovery, is how i found emotionally available and safe enough people. Gentleness and healthy Boundaries, communication, all of that , is a commitment of myself as the loving parent, to keep my inner child safe and integrated, and has allowed me to keep finding available people , and keep finding safe places , i have been 4 years in my healing journey from cptsd from this type of childhood and , being the loving parent that has gentleness , boundaries, and nurturance to my inner child and true self , and tries to find safe enough connection where ill get my needs met, for me and my inner child , is completely worth it, and some of the bases , and pillars of my recovery, and of healthy thriving adults in general, as i have observed. We keep healing, were worth it. God speed, with gentleness humor love and respect were worth it :) take good care everybody, were worth it :)🙏
@Equals11 Жыл бұрын
This made me very emotional. I almost stopped functioning 2 years ago. Toxic shame reached the amount I couldn't get out of bed anymore. Mother narc + older golden child bully brother. They always backed each other explaining their aggression = care and love. But I guess I couldn't keep going with the dissonance. Twice I felt like my brain is melting and I'm losing my mind - first when I realized what's actually going on. My mind was racing for a week basically going through ALL childhood memories and checking them to make sure I'm not making this up... And then when my therapist triggered me unintentionally and I fell into trauma and I almost left. But I got back and was shocked to see she actually cares and had a lot of compassion as she knew what's going on with me. I felt like my brain is ging to melt because I didn't expect to see empathy, it's not what I'm used to.
@franciscoguevara9727 Жыл бұрын
Process of recovery, for me, get sober , because alcohol was how i numbed the pain of living with a narc parent, pilar number 2 go to trauma informed recovery rooms, and have another person hear me out and offer compassion and gentleness for myself as a survivor, believe me, and offer some kind of validation, model the tools of gentleness and healthy boundaries to me, untill i started integrating them more and more, and my inner child and true self came out. Seeing that i have the responsibility and preference as the loving parent to my inner child to love honor protect speak up for and find safe enough connection for my inner child, and understanding today its a need i have to stay gentle and true to myself, and understanding, my safe enough people, and the right people , will stay for the me thats ready and will honor my authentic self, and inner child, when my inner child / true self gives me a nudge as a loving parent its my responsibility to speak up, and or take action / clarify about something etc,/ this is how i find my safe enough, people / other empaths , whom are emotionally available, were worth it. I have done 4 years of trauma support groups, have benefited from the connection with safe enough people there, and added safe enough people in to my support network, and also Somatic Experiencing, and EMDR, particularly, EMDR is good, to get to the unconcious stuff/ attachment stuff, it goes well, with healing at the level of beliefs. We keep healing , and staying gentle , having healthy boundaries, to keep my inner child and true self / integrated and safe enough connection , that will help me get my needs met, were worth it. Another important aspect of healing has been, nurturing , and time spent with my inner child, / myself, / doing hobbies and stuff i like, my walks, for instance, or wtaching movies, the nurturing aspect is also important, hobbies, sports etc. we keep healing were worth it, with gentleness humor love and respect, healthy boundaries and safe enough connection, where we can get our needs met, were worth it. God speed were worth it, with gentlenesss humor love and respect , self and coregulation were worth it :) happy friday errybody!
@dancinginthepurplereign4126 Жыл бұрын
I wonder when you wll share your story with us. I mean you have done a stellar work to heal and to compile this information for all of us. I really do appreciate you. And your bravery and tenacity to go on this journey. I am now 2 years no contact from my biological family. I feel so much better about myself. Though I am still struggling with my mental health and making sense of what happened.
@rachelmaxwell59538 ай бұрын
You are clearly a very strong and smart woman, it’s tough I know. Sending you loads of good wishes from Scotland!!! 🌸🌼🌟💃🌞
@amberfuchs3986 ай бұрын
Great diagrams and explanation. Makes a lot of sense. I'm still trying to integrate the two paths.
@Hippowdon121 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes I feel so much rage and hatred towards people who have severely mistreated me for long periods of time. Like, I imagine telling my boss exactly what he's done to me and what I think about him, and I imagine his response of disdain and rage and cutting me off to monologue, and then I imagine just grabbing him and beating the hell out of him. Usually I imagine trying to talk to him, and being cut off, and then trying to make him listen more forcefully, and meeting the same response, and then just getting very violent. I also have had the same sort of fantasies towards my parents, towards people who bullied me when I was in school, towards teenagers who laugh at and mock me or take photos of me in the street (like bullies), and towards my ex-girlfriend who was very cruel and demeaning to me and also cheated on me with 5 people at the same time. I wonder if anyone else experiences this..?
@dancinginthepurplereign4126 Жыл бұрын
I used to regularly dream whilst sleeping about getting a gun,and like Katalia in Colombia 🇨🇴 going to hometown and just pull up on my family and just kill them. The rage has significantly decreased as I went no contact. But I will remain upset forever for people mistreating me. Forever. I don't do forgiveness. Only God can forgive, not me. 😊
@Jess-yp9fo Жыл бұрын
@@dancinginthepurplereign4126 Forgiveness is a tricky word. Forgiveness actually has nothing to do with the mentally unhinged abusers, but everything to do with YOU. it's so that YOU can go on with YOUR life and not hold on to the poison of hatred in your heart. F*ck those people. Return that hatred and anger back to sender and release those demonic individuals. You're giving them way too much power by THINKING that 'forgiving them' is some sort of peace offering to them, when in actuality it's a peace offering to YOURSELF. You don't have to remain upset forever. You don't deserve that. You deserve PEACE, Love, guidance, nurture, etc. You wouldn't tell a child to 'be upset forever' would you? Forgiveness is always for you, not them. Release those low vibrational people and focus on your healing
@julianal.573 Жыл бұрын
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼💐
@tanyakashyap6944 Жыл бұрын
Wow Brilliant Jay ❤️🌈
@jawnsolo0 Жыл бұрын
There’s a scene in Naruto that shows this process pretty well. Long story short, Naruto is trying to gain control of the demon that lives inside him. He has to confront his past self to do this which is resentful and enraged. The past self something to the effect of, what was I to you? Am I nobody now? Present Naruto says thank you for everything that you’ve done and now you can become me because you are me. You could search Naruto waterfall of truth if interested.
@Angaloth19 Жыл бұрын
What should I do to become an actualized adult (I’m 35) if I don’t have personal successes to help me see my self-worth? I was pulled out of school by my narcissistic mom and enabling dad, and I only got to complete 7th grade. They avoided truancy by claiming they were homeschooling me, but they weren’t. Now every job failure or thing I never knew was common knowledge just reinforces my parent’s words about how defective I am. I tried college and failed. I was just desperate to have food and a place to live away from them when I turned 18, which is also the year they let me get my drivers license. I had no money. I’ve had dozens of jobs, and I hated them all. What do I do?
@juneelle370 Жыл бұрын
A very positive benefit to living in this time is that there are answers to be found… look for quality answers… 35 is still young and it’s never too late to grow and have a good life, even if you were older. There are a lot of videos on how to find a good trade/craft/occupation… how to find ways that make money from your greatest gifts/what you love to do… even if sometimes tangential… some people have just jobs to fund what makes them happy/hobbies/passions. Keep looking until you find the answer(s) to this one and any other you need. Intuition is a guide and so is education used with intuition. 🌼 you deserve this attention to find your answers, your path forward
@Angaloth19 Жыл бұрын
@@juneelle370 Thank you! ❤️
@dotsyjmaher Жыл бұрын
@@Angaloth19 Try to find something "not horrible" to start making enough to get away from them...and work your way along ..finding things you DO like .. ASAP...no contact... and be VERY careful about associates... Start enjoying little things without worrying about what "THEY" would say... SCREW THEM... you are not missing ANYTHING... The internet DOES have EVERY KIND OF EDUCATIONAL INFO...MUCH IS FREE... Start slowly ...find what REALLY makes you happy... The day I had to drop out college because my HOOKER MAW SOLD OUR HOUSE OUT FROM UNDER US.. I had to find a professor to sign my paperwork.. The ONLY one available was Dr.Stephen Ambrose the NOW world famous historian.. He was very nice but tried to talk me out of leaving.. I explained the situation..he asked me if I had time to talk..of course I did.. We had long talk about things that we can't control.. and dealing with terrible injustices... He had to get to a class after over an hour of generously giving me time and advice... He signed the papers.. shook my hand.. and said.."Listen.. you are clearly a VERY smart young woman... I hope you get back into college as soon as possible...but Keep on educating yourself...because the reality is... THE ONLY REAL EDUCATION IS SELF EDUCATION... It has always been and always will be.." I thanked him..he wished me luck.. and we parted... Life was baaad...financially but I kept self educating... Now it is easier than ever... AND now you can go to college completely online..and get Pell Grants and subsidized loans to live... KEEP ON GOING...LEAVE THEM IN YOUR DUST
@dancinginthepurplereign4126 Жыл бұрын
I would recommend reading Self Help books. Work on your confidence. The good part is you are already working on it. An interesting book I read is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. And The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. Then you read 7 Habits of Highly effective people. It will help with your daily habits and then get you set up for success. But it all starts with the mind and daily habits. School is important but not the only way to success. But you really can't accomplish much without the confidence. Lucky for you, you are self aware and have already started with your healing. Good luck!
@Angaloth19 Жыл бұрын
@@dancinginthepurplereign4126 thank you!!
@dark7angel4564 ай бұрын
My whole life has been trauma and Trauma and Trauma built up on each other for years and years and have a hard time finding center and balance
@timiburke71338 ай бұрын
My covert NPD father & Vulneralbe CNpD mother had caused me to be excluded by 10 of my 12 siblings plus all their spouses etc. very painful. To be 54 and feel like I have no one….
@annaschmanna18 ай бұрын
So painful. I feel your pain but know that you are the white sheep and they are the BLACK.
@andreadonegan4780 Жыл бұрын
I was the scapegoat in my narcissistic family. One question I have and it’s this…..how did I see or know the dysfunction and other family members did not?
@user-ot2uy2og9l Жыл бұрын
That's me the devil child. That's how I always felt when mom described how "difficult" I was...
@jonathanreynolds36674 ай бұрын
My developed self is kinda scared to speak my mind and stand up for myself The scapegoat self is more treacherous to live by. But I'm learning how to bring my developed self out more. But it seem as people want the scapegoat self. And it's hard to be my developed self
@allieaudio9965 Жыл бұрын
Why do I have a feeling this is going to be a tough one?😆 Sometimes I wish you would just give us some tapping advice or an affirmation or an advice on which supplement for everything to be right as rain and dandy.
@sh6460 Жыл бұрын
Lol! Yes, some supplements😃 I recently have been considering that with the smear campaign others are responsible for what they choose to think and whether they drink the koolade or not. I'm more aware of my tendancy to over explain, which another video pointed out is possibly more child like. Not everyone has to like me, accepting that has helped. It's been tough, I have felt like 2 people, the one projected onto me and who I really am and strive to be.
@estherann7407 Жыл бұрын
@@sh6460 your last line...excellent way to sum up my (confusing, challenging) life.
@estherann7407 Жыл бұрын
@allieaudio9965 it was a tough one...lots of hard truths. If you find that supplement, please share ❤
@dotsyjmaher Жыл бұрын
Tapping and rubber bands snapping was what the lunatic "therapist" I tried after HURRICANES KATRINA AND RITA suggested...AND A NICE FANCY SUPPLEMENT CALLED "PROZAC".... I declined....she KEPT pushing sh*t... I thanked her for her "simple" stupid AND dangerous solutions..and left... As I walked out that WHORE SCREAMED..."IF YOU LEAVE..YOU WILL BE SICK THE REST OF YOUR LIFE" Pissed...I SCREAMED.." YOU ARE A HORRIBLE THERAPIST...I DON'T CONSIDER MYSELF SICK...I CONSIDER MYSELF "INJURED" BY A VERY SICK MAGGOT...AND HER ASSISTANTS".... YOU DON'T EVEN APPRECIATE YOUR OWN SWEET HUSBAND" She was always complaining about her husband... She was legally blind and he worried about her ..taking her to work picking her up... etc... She told me for Hurricane Katrina he brought their children out of harm's way out of state to his parents' home. Then went back to be with her at the hospital just outside New Orleans...where she was required to remain for at least a week ... When he went to her office she TOLD ME .."I LOST IT..I SCREAMED..STUPID..STUPID..STUPID... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?" "JESUS."...I thought.."THIS woman is NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD..."
@dime7612 Жыл бұрын
I’m finding everybody is nuts.
@fairygurl9269 Жыл бұрын
"Nobody's Nobody" *Brother's Osborne Respectfully Living a Better Quality of Life, Thanks to Folks Such as Jay 💞
@TheLordsbattleaxe11 ай бұрын
Very unclear at times.
@timiburke71338 ай бұрын
Reclaiming my identity? Could I heal by writing “how I saw it” “how I experienced my life from behind my eyes?”
@elainehiggins7136 ай бұрын
My question: are scapegoats always “good” people?
@magicwandm7 ай бұрын
At 25 i feel so late
@user-hn1sw4cf7x Жыл бұрын
Only patients. Only patients. Time. It does the job. Patients. Hard.