What can't Mayim do???? A writer, an actor, a youtuber, a neuroscientist... such an amazing woman and an inspiring role model.

My coworker donated her wedding dress... It was made into small gowns for babies who have passed away.

I did “purge” after my divorce. But I put everything in a “time capsule” for my two daughters to open when they became adults. (18 and 21) Everything belongs to them to do with as they want. It was important to me that they knew their parents loved each other and they were created from that love.

It isn't just women that have that connection. I got married 49 years ago on January 8th, 1972. We were a family with our two girls born in 1974 and 1976 respectively for 29.5 years. At that point my wife decided that she didn't want to be married anymore and a developing mental illness drove her to paranoia and anger. She left, with no warning, just a note that said "I have left". We sold the house that my kids were raised in, along with the accumulations that we managed to collect. Some of the stuff she brought with her when we got married, she left behind and I still have. I have most of our family albums, she didn't want those either along with our wedding pictures. One of my daughters has her wedding dress. (I have no idea of the current condition). She just left the house with only about 5% of her rightful belongings. We were never close after that but did attend birthdays of our children and our grandchildren at the same time, were civil but you wouldn't recognize us as having shared 29 years together and knew all our most intimate secrets. Anyway, her last few years were filled with mental pain that I cannot even image and 4 years ago she had a stroke and died broke in spite of holding a Masters Degree in Nursing and another in Gerontology and was just a completed dissertation away from a Doctorate in Gerontology. Her mental illness prevented her from completing it. Our daughters are still more angry about her actions then I am, because frankly the last 3 years of our marriage were absolute hell. But, after a short period of time my anger faded and I understood that she had lost control of her own being and her illness was guiding in her every action. Since both of us had expressed the intent of being cremated, I volunteered half of the cemetery lot that I had purchased for myself. I did that because I had the room and it saved my children a lot of cash to buy a plot. We chipped in together to buy a ground stone identifying her location. At her graveside ceremony I put together a picture montage of her when she was younger and happy and did a short history, written and verbal of her accomplishments, previous to her departure from reality, for my Grandkids,. they only knew her in her ill years. It was important to me for them to know where they came from and be proud of what she had accomplished and have empathy for her illness. I wanted the stone because she was my friend for 29 years and the mother of my children and I didn't want the memory of her to just be negative and invisible. I still have some pictures displayed but only in relation to events involving the kids, like their weddings etc. Everyone has a different set of baggage that is carried after divorce that we have to recognize and deal with. I still have times when I get overwhelmed with sadness that I was never able to get old together like it said in our vows and am facing the final years alone. I can't let myself do it again. I did have one opportunity but I frankly could not see myself entering into that serious a relationship again.

As a child of divorced parents, please don’t purge everything. The only thing I have from my parents wedding is a small handful of photos. These photos are precious.

A wise friend once told me, “ You have to be happy on your own, your life partner who may come along someday should just be the icing on the cake.”

“that look is what created them.” So beautiful

I know it's been a couple of years, but I want to thank you for this. I was married for 24 years and have been divorced for about 3.5. My ex-wife left behind all the pictures randomly scattered in storage containers. After watching this I was inspired to go through them all last year while working from home. It took several months to get through them all and then I scanned them. It was an emotional journey, but your advice led me to keep those happy wedding photos. For Christmas my two adult children and my ex-wife each received a flash drive with over 8,000 photos.

I'm not married and I don't even have a boyfriend. Still, I'm watching this.

I found my mom and dad’s wedding album a few years ago (I’m 40). I asked my mom if I could have it. I keep it to this day. My parents divorced when I was two. I don’t have a single memory of them being together. So, it gives me some comfort to know that there was at least a moment my mom and dad loved each other.

" The person I was then is important for my sons to know about... " brillianty & true. Awesome!! message, Mayim Bialik.

“Even beautiful things can come from the toughest situations.” The best and most meaningful line of this entire awesome video.

I'm 65, and my wife and I have been married 35 years, and I cannot imagine my life without her. We also entered a covenant for life. Fortunately shes my best friend to this day. We have three grown daughters! Life has been a struggle, with Cancer for me, financial problems through the years. But we promised each other, no matter what, we would go through the good, and the bad, together....and we do. Your maturity on this subject, is beyond your years. It takes two, to make a marriage work. And just sometimes, maybe what's forever for one, isnt for the other. As sad as that is, you are still left with not one life, but three, and no matter what you go through, you go through it as a family, a unit, a forever! With or without the one that promised that to you....because motherhood, also is a covenant.......and that is your forever! God bless!

My mother got rid of all the photos of my father after their divorce. I had no record of the union that created me. I hope people realize that people need to know their history, even if they don’t have the things to show that history.

My best friend destroyed every picture from her wedding when she divorced her husband (partly out of rage due to his infidelity). They had one child together and divorced before she was two years old. Years later when my friend's grandmother passed away, Tammy found that her grandmother had saved a photo album from Tammy's wedding. She was so glad to find these pictures for her daughter because, as you mention, in spite of how things ended, they were once in love and through that love they created their daughter. She kept the album for her daughter. I'm glad you did not feel that you had to follow in your friend's footsteps and purge everything from the wedding and early years. There is no shame in realizing that what served you at one point in your life, no longer serves you now. We all marry with the hope that it will last forever, but statistics indicate that only half of us actually stay together until death.

I love her unselfish willingness to share who she is and who she was in her past, holding nothing back from her children to experience it in their own way. Very Loving

"I want them to know that that look is what created them" 😭💗

I'm currently going through a divorce with the person I've been with since I was 14 and wow I needed this.

This is really beautiful. I agree, divorce is grief. I could be doing something really mundane, like buying cashews... and it randomly hits me, "holy $$$$, I'm divorced". And all of those feelings come back. But I had 4 amazing kids. And each one of them alone justifies everything. Not just the painful, failed marriage... But everything. So, we embrace what remains with us, and at the same time, move on. I wish you the best with both.

Hey Mayim! My parents were married for not even two years. I watched their wedding video (transferred from Betamax). Was it weird to see my parents in love? YES! Did it also take my breath away seeing glimpses of my great grandma, my first best friend? yes, I cried because while other were dancing she was rocking me to sleep and singing to me. I have my mom's wedding dress now. It sits next to mine in the closet.

I was thinking that you would cry so I was like "Please don't cry because I'll cry too"

When you referred to your sons as the two miraculous souls entrusted to you, I teared up a little. That is the most beautiful way I've ever heard a parent describe their children. You are a wonderful person, Mayim. I wish you a fulfilling life.

I’m divorcing my husband after 40 years of marriage & it’s like a death. I haven’t spoken to anyone in my hometown about this bc it’s too painful to face. Thank You, ♥️Mayim for giving me hope.

I was married in 1985. On Rememberance Day 1990, my divorce was final and I was grappling with what to do. I was barely 30 years old and I had a two very little girls. I thought long and hard about how to deal with this issue. Many of my friends wanted me to go out and celebrate. Celebrate what? I couldn't, not then. A few years later I decided to go through my wedding items. I remember my girls looking at the photos and saying "look Mommy and Daddy are smiling at each other". It hit me hard then that they didn't understand we once were happy and that is how they got here. He left and threw them away. I tried to keep him in their lives; but he didn't want them; nor did his new partner. It has been very hard not to be bitter; but I always remind myself - if not for him they would not be here and for that I will always be grateful. So now I always celebrate the gifts of my marriage.

I can’t stop thinking about fun with flags when I see her

I got very emotional watching this video. My Husband is a child of divorced parents who sadly do not have any short of relationship besides bitter, anger, and blame however one of his prized possessions that his Mother did give him as a gift when we were married was the wedding album from his parents wedding. Despite her personal feelings about her ex Husband and visa versa She understood the importance of my Husband knowing and seeing a once happy couple whom in love created this man to whom I am blessed to share my life with and to whom our love created our two children. Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing your story with us.

God bless you. I’m divorced and your words are true. 21 years later we speak every week and our children love us both equally

As a daughter of divorced parents (and a newly wed) I was moved to tears by this clip. Thank you for being so honest and sharing this deeply personal story. You are truly a special person.

I'm a widow. My husband and I were together for 20 years. This video is pretty close to being a widow. The only difference is that I can sleep knowing that my husband loved me until the very end. I still have some of my wedding stuff but there are times that I don't want to even see the stuff because it reminds me of a life I no longer have. There are points that I can relate to in this video. Thank you for making this video.

She is an amazing and non-pretentious person. So accomplished and so humble.

I had to end my engagement two years ago because of my fiancée's emotional withdrawal from the relationship (PTSD-driven workaholism), which absolutely destroyed me. I'm still in a huge amount of pain. I can't bring myself to destroy or trash the memorabilia from our relationship (or just her things that she left with me) no matter how much people urge me to. I decided to mail the things to her, and let her deal with them...I fought so hard to keep us together; it shouldn't be my responsibility to keep breaking my own heart by cleaning up the mess she left.

You can learn a lot about a person by the way they use language; their vocabulary, sentence structure, word choices, etc, and I can only say that Mayim is a genius.

When I divorced my wife I wrote her a letter saying that even though we did not succed at our marriage, and that is our loss, we still came out ahead having brought our beautiful children into the world and even if only for that it was all worth it and we have much to be thankful for. Just one correction: your children did not come from a 'difficult situation'. Rather, you simultaneously lived and are living through a difficult situation while raising them. That situation clearly affected and affects your children, but is completely removed from them. Thank you for your sharing your thoughts and feelings. You are a beautiful person.

Marriage is indeed a covenant . I loved when you said that

How the heck you didn't cry through this video is beyond me, because I was in tears. Maybe it's because I'm doing the paperwork to divorce someone that was so horrible for my life. His moving out was the best thing for both of us. We weren't a good fit and trying to keep something going because of my deep seated beliefs that marriage should be forever was the wrong answer for both of us.

Mayim, this was an incredibly important message to put out into the world. It showed maturity, kindness, thoughtfulness, love, intelligence, passion... As a divorced woman, I can agree that preserving the most important parts of that life decision is as necessary as letting everything else go. Thank you for putting quality content out into the world.

I purged all of the wedding stuff that wasn't truly sentimental, but I kept the good stuff. My wedding day was one of the best of my life, it really was. Divorce isn't a sign of failure, it's a sign of change, and a sign of making the decisions that are best for you. I wouldn't be the person I am today if I hadn't spent 10 years with my husband. I still have much love for him, and wish him all the best in the world.

Dear Mayim, Divorce is not failure. You were a successful couple during your married years and you have created a family that will last. Relationship is hard, people change, have difficulties... It's hard to divorce and to move on, but it is better to have a good relationship with an ex than a really unhappy one with a husband. Take care! Greetings from The Netherlands!

It’s October 2022, and I’ve just come upon this video. Mayim, this is absolutely amazing. I’ve never heard anything like this from anyone. And your raw honesty and transparency are refreshing and so beautiful. Thank you so much for putting this out there. I hope it helps many people learn to deal with and perhaps, even be free of the pain, the grief, the regrets, the anger and the rest of the carnage that comes with divorce.

This is beautiful, and so sweet of you to share such personal emotional things. I wanted to give you a hug. I've never been married, but have had close relationships that didn't last. No kids, but I came to a similar conclusion: this is very painful, but I don't regret that I had love for this person, and we really tried. That is part of me now, the trying and the enduring when it didn't work out - and it doesn't have to be a bad part of me.

I don't make partner's get rid of keepsakes or photos of ex's. Someone loved them during a part of their life before we met. Those things make them feel loved, especially since life is cruel and people rely on memories of being loved to get through until the next good times. I have no real need to attack the tokens, as it would only attack the heart of my favorite person, not the ex.

Mayim that's the best decision you could have taken. Keeping the albums for your kids. I am the daughter of divorced parents, and my mom like you kept her wedding albums, and some letters my dad wrote to her. She's now completely over it, dating another super nice guy. When I was 15 I found the albums and letters. I was sooooo happy. Those pictures and letters made me cry because there was so much love in them, love that I couldn't see by myself and that I couldn't remember because they got divorced when I was very little. They're still friends and they're there for each other. My dad sometimes takes my mom to the hospital or buys her medicine when she's sick and her boyfriend is not around. It's such a nice relationship, and it has taught me a lot. Don't worry, it's a very good decision and your kids will be grateful to you in the future :)

Seriously bawling. After 30 years...I found myself divorced. Alone. Without all the “things” like pictures and such. I have one photo of my children and a suitcase of what I had the day my world collapsed. Your words were healing. They ministered to me. Thank you for that blessing. With my whole heart.

The idea that there's no such thing as "forever" still makes me sad. I can see how you guys bonded with each other and the emotions behind your melancholy eyes, and I couldn't help crying when I witnessed these in the video. I have never gone through a marriage, but every break-up hurt like hell. I can only blindly believe everything happened is only for the best, and I hope that's true for you, too.

My mom and I were planning my wedding to music when her and my dad's first dance song came on. I immediately started crying and asked my mom how she could listen to it after they divorced and told her how sad it made me. She was confused and said, "This isn't a sad song. You're dad and I might be divorced, but this is still our song. We were still married for a time and had you kids. Theres nothing sad about that." It was definitely something I needed to hear going forward.

You don’t need to get rid of things that are special for you, no matter the reason.

Just amazing to see someone be so open, vulnerable and like so many regular people! I mean of course an absolute lovely actress, sweet person, and incredibly smart person.... But also deals with crap that everyone else deals with.... Thank you for all you do and best wishes to you and your loved ones, no matter what! ❤️👍

All we have is a wedding day photograph, no saved clothing items, just walked into a courthouse, kept it super simple, no parties of extravagance... Still together for almost 25 yrs. Those two boys will enjoy your Momentos/just might even incorporate them in their future. Excellent video ❤️🙏

Emotional maturity ain't easy, but it is appreciated. I am awed that you understand that your past isn't yours alone. A portion of that belongs to your children, their children, etc. Your past belongs to the ones who will come. And they will definitely want the photos and memories from your wedding. Bless you.

I lost my dad to cancer 3 years after my divorce, seeing him all dressed up in my wedding photo's is priceless.

My parents divorced in the 90s and my mom died a few years back. I now own the wedding album and her dress and I cherish them so much.

I started crying when you said "that look was what created them"... Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and feelings 😭❤️

We got married at city hall and had a backyard BBQ for some close family and friends; no dress, shoes, various bits and pieces nor photographer nor a wedding album. I have two framed photos from the day. 16 years and 2 kids later still happily married and still no regrets. Marriage is so much more than a wedding and as many find out a big traditional wedding does not make a marriage more meaning nor make it last.

Omg...her concluding words got me: “In that union, we created the world again...twice.” 😭😭😭

I was married in the 1970s and an entire generation of family in my wedding photos is long gone. My feelings about my wedding album go way beyond how I feel about our divorce. I could never throw away those photos of the people I loved and lost.

Thank you for being so real. I am about to go through divorce and it's so hard. I have also gone through waves of wanting to toss everything because I felt like that's what he did to me. But I am keeping a few memories for our children. They are the products of this failed marriage, and it was true love back then. I can't wait for the time when I can truly move on from all this heartbreak and trauma.

Mayim is that perfect cross between a rock star and a rocket scientist. This channel is one of the best things about KZfaq. Thanks for another awesome video! The world needs more truth-tellers and fewer trash talkers.

I'm 24 and I'm engaged. My father left my mother for his high school sweetheart when I was 14. My mother got rid of all of their wedding things - did the whole bond fire shabang with the album. Since their divorce, my mother has referred to another man - one who put both she and I through 8 years of emotional Hell, and greatly damaged 'our' relationship - as her soulmate. Even going so far as to say, "I loved him more than I ever loved your father." I have no relationship with my father, after he told me point blank that I make his girlfriend and her children "uncomfortable." I know it sounds a little ridiculous, but knowing all of this, hearing all of this, experiencing all of the pain that came afterward - it's left me feeling like my existence is a mistake, and it's left me terribly fearful for the fate of my own marriage. All this said, if things DO fall apart, I will follow your example. I never want my children to know this kind of pain.

I don't have kids, and I was sentimental about several things, like my dress that I eventually got rid of. But I still have the wedding pictures my ex husband and I sorted through together. We basically took the ones our families were in. I kept the video. I still have pictures from prom, of my college sweetheart I almost married. These men were part of my past, people I loved, regardless of the endings. I wouldn't erase that history for anything.

It's too simple saying that I found this video beautiful, because I Found every single word you said Wonderful. Thank you a lot for sharing such a intimate memory like a true love that brought you too to build 2 lives in this world. Peace and love from Italy

I appreciate the sentiment behind Mayim’s message. I was in an emotionally abusive marriage and felt strongly that I had to get rid of my wedding dress. It was taking away too much energy. I put a lot of thought into how. I wrapped it up in brown paper tied with twine. I wrote a note of gratitude for the wedding and for the marriage and all it had taught me. And especially for our two precious daughters. I added a beautiful autumn leaf to the twine and set it aflame in the fire pit. It was incredibly cathartic and released a lot of negative energy that bound me to my ex. A beautiful funeral pyre. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

After my divorce I donated my wedding attire to a charity for women who can't afford wedding dresses. It was very helpful and cathartic. Paying it forward always makes me happy.

I loved looking through my parents' wedding album. It was so great to see them when they were so young and so in love. Also, to see my grandparents when they were much younger. It was a time-capsule for me. I still look at them now and again. My parents have been gone for a while, but it's lovely to see them back then, so young and in love. Great video. Thank you.

Thank you for your refreshing honesty.

Lost my mother at 17 and my father remarried pretty fast , he gave my sister and I the photos from our parents wedding. I am happy my sister has them. His 2nd wife is not really a fan to make it short. I did not want the memories lost in a box hidden so I am happy we have them. I LOVE to look at the pictures and I am happy he did not throw them out or let his new wife decide what to do. I am sure the kids will love your photos forever.

This is amazing. I never saw my self in wedding dress. We eloped in Vegas. I never changed my last name! I always thought what if this never lasted. Over 20 yrs later.. And 2 daughters... We're still together. I still don't take it for granted.

Beautifully and touchingly put.❤

This made me cry! "They see me and their father looking very much in love. Because we were in love." How that look of love is what created them. Remembering how afraid and excited we were to become parents. Thinking of my 2.5yo son, some day looking through my own wedding photos. I doubt he will ever get the chance to see his father & I smiling or laughing together in person, what a strange and sad phenomenon.

" Even beautiful things can come from the toughest situations". That was so beautiful, Mayim. Thanks for the inspiration!

Perfect timing!! My ex-husband is getting married in 2 weeks. We’ve been divorced 10 years but it is still going to be challenging. Your video somehow found me at just the right moment and you helped me give myself permission to mourn my wedding but still accept and appreciate the woman I was when we married 25 years ago. I too will keep the photos. Thank you Mayim! You’re an angel.

I love the way you approached this!

This made me cry. Thank you for sharing this and being so vulnerable.

Well, we didn't have children but we were together 17 yrs. You can't erase those years- they're part of you. Moving on from a loss doesn't mean pretending something never happened. Forgive yourself, forgive them, and don't hold onto shame. One day you'll be able to look back at those beautiful photos and see yourself instead of them- and be proud of YOU for all you've come through ❤

When I had my first marriage. I thought it was for life. We divorced after 6 years. I did not look at it as a failure. But as a learning experience. I married 20 years later to my soulmate. The love of my life. We were married almost 16 years before he died at 52 due to complication of pancreatitis. The difference in my first marriage and my second can not compare. Yes I loved my first husband. And we share my only child. The love I felt, (and still feel) for my second husband John, is beyond what even I thought existed. He was and is still the love of my life. There is a differences in the person you marry you thought you'd be with the rest of your life. And the person that comes into your life and you KNOW you will be with the rest of you life. There is no comparison.... Give yourself time....

Your soul is gold, may your journey continue with many blessings.

Thank you, Mayim. There were a couple of moments in this video when you brought tears to my eyes.

I was married almost 30 years; while my ex is sincerely my bestfriend. But Im still morning the beautiful future we'll never have. Growing old having grandchildren. I don't think you ever completely overcome the loss of your life partner

I wish I could hug you sweetheart....you are like the strongest person I've ever seen. May God bless you with your continued journey to peace and happiness. xo

Thank you for this ❤️ you are an Angel that answered this heart wrenching question of what to do with those wedding things

It is so wonderful to hear you able to talk so freely about such a heart wrenching event. I too have been through one. This one has lasted 48 years so far!

This is very healing for me. My parents were married for 24 years, then divorced 18 years ago, when I was 22 and it still hurts. I get a little insight into my mom's feelings through this video. Thanks.

Been divorced twice. First one I had my daughter with. That was a horrendous divorce and she made me enemy. (My daughter Mia came to live with me fulltime when she was 9). My second wife we blended our families, went a decade nearly...but she felt the urge to move on and I let her with no issue. Now.. 3 years solo...watching and making sure my daughter will be 5x the person I am...and letting myself find more of me, before I try to enter another relationship. I consider both more of a personal growth experience, and respect both for some things, and cancelled them out on others. Each situation is very different.

❤ thanks for being so pure and honest. You're the very best! Thanks for making this.

She is so real...I love listening to her talk

I'm not married yet, this was beautiful. Your children were made with love. You were a stunning bride, but your an even more beautiful human.

I’m reading all of you guys’ sad stories and crying. Meanwhile, I’ve never even been in a relationship in the first place😂🤦🏻‍♀️

This is such a difficult topic to talk so freely about. We ignore the struggles post divorce because we make it seem like an escape, and ignore the good memories of the life you once shared with someone. I am a child of divorce, and I remember my mum trying to show me their wedding pictures, but she would show it in a positive light, and it's still something I appreciate a lot. Thank you for an honest perspective, but also a very realistic reminder that we are all our memories and past, who will build new memories and future.

This made me weep! I love that you're so open about everything. You're really helping other people by being human. I wish more people were like you Mayim ❤

Dearest Mayim, Thanks a lot for sharing something so emotional with all of us, not everyone can do such a thing and I admire you for that. It takes a lot of courage to get married abut it takes infinitely more courage to divorce for the sake of your former partner and yourself( and your children ). To my eyes, you and your ex husband have had the courage to put your well-being and present and future happiness over the socially accepted “keep the appearance “ choice, and that is nothing more than the biggest success. If your mind finds peace getting rid of those things that remind you of your wedding it would be good to get rid of them but it’s equally ok if you keep them! I still have pictures of my first car (that no longer exists), the first day of the design studio a bunch of classmates and I created (that closed many years ago), and I look at them as good memories of old projects and parts of my life that made me happy in the right moment. The beauty about human beings is that we change and evolve and adapt and are new and great people every year and sometimes that growth involves separating from certain people that are simply better travelling a different road. Whatever you decide to do with all those things you mentioned in the video please don’t think you failed in any way, you’ve been brave and sincere enough to admit your marriage was no longer going how you and your ex wanted it to go and you both have had the courage to do something about that, and courage and sincerity are certainly 2 amazing virtues not everyone has.

"That look was what created them." BEAUTIFUL.

This is so beautiful 🥺 Thank you 🙏 Your videos are so healing 🧡

Just found the channel. Your very practical and educated approach to mental health topics is such a relief.

"The person I was then is important for my son's to know about" Love that 😍

I kept most of it. Never even considered that it was an option to do otherwise. My ex husband and I are such great friends that I was recently his wedding coordinator. After our divorce we took turns keeping our wedding album for periods of time. He finally gave it to me permanently when he decided to remarry (wise decision). We didn't have any children together but I am still very close with his son from his first marriage and with his current extended family. I figure if he was worth my love and commitment enough to marry, the friendship and concern should last a lifetime. I promised God I would love and cherish him (I wouldn't include the word "obey") til death do us part and, even divorced, I am keeping that promise (in spades). I never remarried, I think one might have been enough for me, but I am happy and at peace by how I have conducted myself through the divorce.

“It was that look that created them”. That was well said. Thank you for this because I have been wondering what to do with the photos. I’m keeping them now! It was a real part of my life and I too cherish it because from it I have 3 absolutely wonderful sons and 5 grandchildren. It was part of my journey. Thank you!❤.

I so enjoy all of your commentaries, thank you for sharing 🌻

O M G! I’m tearing up!!! I have had to forgive everything. I forgave my ex, my expectations, my family, my religion and my entire 26 years of marriage. I can look at that time with love. 💖

My mum has kept her wedding photos because they have pictures of my great grandparents, they helped raise her. She wanted us to know that not all memories are sad. My brothers and I came from that union, and we are her greatest treasures.

Mayim, you are the greatest, most gracious, blessing!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

bless you Mayim for being so raw and candid on KZfaq about something that so many people have had to go through. 🙏 ❤