Santa Robbed Our House

Рет қаралды 212,241

Күн бұрын

Come see me live:
July 3 Calgary, AB bit.ly/4ehz2hM
Sept 13-15 Ontario, Calif. bit.ly/4bFwkRo
Sept 19-21 Phoenix, AZ bit.ly/4agm7JP
Check out joshjohnsoncom... for more dates!
Hey Friends, wanted to share part of my set from The Comedy Cellar last night
If you love my stories I have a podcast that comes out every week: bit.ly/3NQmpio
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Drop a comment if you loved or hated the set, and especially if you're unsure. Subscribe for more. Thanks for being my friends!

Пікірлер: 321

@JoshJohnsonComedy 8 ай бұрын

Hi Friends! Thank you so much for watching. Let’s see if we can get this video to 15k likes! Upcoming Live Shows in Hasbrouck Heights NJ, West Nyack NY, Burlington VT and more. www.joshjohnsoncomedy.com/tour for tickets

@chancestroud518 8 ай бұрын

How are you not world famous? You're so relatable, dude. My mom laughs every time I look at her and simply say "you're drying your hands with a fart!"

@jashanestone 8 ай бұрын

Were you happy with what you've gifted yourself this Christmas? I brought me a tablet so I can see your jokes clearly. 😂😂😂😂

@EamonWill 8 ай бұрын

Interesting psychology about badly wrapped gifts, it makes people lower their expectation for what the gift actually is so that when it turns out to be something nice they liked it more. Look it up. I swear I'm not just making it up. I read that somewhere!

@LindaC616 8 ай бұрын

12k, you're g9nna make it! Happy New Year's, Josh!

@karinfiore3202 8 ай бұрын

I’m seeing you in Hasbrouck Heights and can’t wait! Merry Christmas!

@katrinalasala3061 8 ай бұрын

"I'm 11. I don't have keys. You just got me rusting metal." 🤣🤣🤣

@TerryCarter33 8 ай бұрын

How tf does this dude always have fresh content?!

@brooklyna007 8 ай бұрын

Marijuana

@ArtRebelsBloc 8 ай бұрын

he's just innately funny at making any situation funny. cheers to the future and another year of josh makin hilarious bits

@stephenomenal901 8 ай бұрын

@@brooklyna007 You would think, but (according to him) he doesn't even smoke!

@jasonsanchez0 8 ай бұрын

Fr. Every week he comes out with like 10 new minutes of bangers

@brooklyna007 8 ай бұрын

@@stephenomenal901 damn. Then I'm impressed.

@sterlingjones2177 8 ай бұрын

The real question is, how does Step-Dad Darren know how Santa bleeds?

@roadlesstraveled34 8 ай бұрын

Stepdad Darren... I'm sorry, but I'm a 38yo widow with a 4yo son, and I almost hate to say it but when the time comes I want him to have a "Stepdad Whomever"😂😂

@Shipperville 7 ай бұрын

Santa can't bleed. Do you see how many Chimney he goes down? He's made of magic.

@aplaceinthestars3207 8 ай бұрын

Always tells the best "from the kid's perspective" stories!

@JustHereForCats 8 ай бұрын

Look, stepdad Darren really tried to save the magic of Christmas. Shout out to him!

@twentysvn 8 ай бұрын

Definitely showing the kid that it was a burglar was the best choice.

@MoonShadowWolfe 7 ай бұрын

As a parent, I would freeze up. What's worse, the fiction of Santa taking a bullet, or the sight of a bleeding intruder? They're both such bad options for something your kid can remember forever.

@BusinessWolf1 7 ай бұрын

@@MoonShadowWolfe I think they did the right thing. Probably taught that guy the value of life, and to not value his own less than the property of a person.

@Rita-kx3yr 8 ай бұрын

I really feel you on the gift wrapping thing. That's why I get a cute bag and tissue paper stuff. And if you play your cards right, you can get the bag again for next year lol

@LamelScott 7 ай бұрын

Oh my god that is so dastardly and cheap... *I LOVE IT!😂*

@callmecharlie99 7 ай бұрын

I'll let you in on a secret: Dollar tree and 99 cent store have pre wrapped boxes. All you have to do is put in tissue paper and you're golden. Sincerely, A terrible gift wrapper

@shiraz9986 7 ай бұрын

Using and reusing bags causes less harm to the enviroment, so it is really beneficial! 🙂Of course the best would be if christmas wasn’t focused so much on getting gifts.

@callmecharlie99 7 ай бұрын

@@shiraz9986I wish I could thumb this up more than once

@stacia1525 7 ай бұрын

Absolutely Gift Bags!!! Changed my life!😅

@nannettefreeman7331 8 ай бұрын

One Xmas my parents went all out & rented a Santa suit to stage a whole magical scene for me to SEE Santa leaving the gifts under the tree, but I was so scared of messing things up by not being asleep that I closed my eyes & pulled the covers over my head. No matter how much noise they made to try to wake me up, I wouldn’t budge, & all their efforts were for naught. ✌🏼

@MoonShadowWolfe 7 ай бұрын

You knew the rules and damn it, they weren't going to catch you off guard!

@BusinessWolf1 7 ай бұрын

They thought they could catch you slippin

@BuruIgeru 8 ай бұрын

I now believe Santa is a black young man whose gifts are life lessons and laughs I never knew possible. Thanks Josh.

@K10House 8 ай бұрын

"Santa don't even bleed like that." 😂😂😂😂😂 Always casually right on point like a boss.

@dfrnt_hues 8 ай бұрын

6:42 “he will mess around and rearrange my guts” that wild brotha lol

@Beh3moth651 3 ай бұрын

def a pause moment

@MsMakeba 8 ай бұрын

"Step-dad Darren" 😂😂😂

@coolocelot 8 ай бұрын

Once my parents gave me and my sister 50 bucks but gave it to us by ripping a 100 in half to also teach us to work together 😂

@joec9693 8 ай бұрын

That’s when you tell them the cashier wouldn’t accept a ripped bill and we need a new one. Then take the new fifty, tape up the old fifty and now you both got fifty and you successfully worked together.

@mbirbaamuasi 8 ай бұрын

Because in life...

@ImJustSayingBTW 7 ай бұрын

@@joec9693 There was never an old fifty.

@BusinessWolf1 7 ай бұрын

Did you learn you can take it to any bank and get another bill?

@gamertyper6476 8 ай бұрын

Josh, I hope you had a Merry Christmas. Thank you for all your hard work in your craft and keeping the content coming. I know it must feel a lot like a job now but I just wanted to let you know I really appreciate what you do. Laughter is probably one of the best things in the world and you are insanely funny and talented naturally. Have a happy new years and I look forward to your Netflix special 🙏❤

@LMae-rj9qi 8 ай бұрын

What Gamertyper6476 said! Josh is awesome!

@LydiAtheistLady 8 ай бұрын

This comment is everything I wanted to say! 🙂

@mrmarriottsgirl8471 7 ай бұрын

this young guy is blessed with talent..he's hilarious! Hope he keeps it up!!

@vivwillshootyou 8 ай бұрын

Very inclusive to let a dolphin be part of the audience

@LindaC616 8 ай бұрын

😅😅

@Taricus 8 ай бұрын

I was going to say that I kept getting distracted by the woodpecker, because I'm tired and my focus is completely gone LOL!

@djardvarc 8 ай бұрын

@vivwillshootyou ayo 🤣🤣💀💀💀

@Over.thewillow 8 ай бұрын

More like Pennywise

@InThisEssayIWill... 8 ай бұрын

Rude.

@Davidj545 8 ай бұрын

From living in Chicago myself and being 26 living with the relative experiences you’ve talked about Josh, I appreciate you and Happy Holidays!!!💙

@zonelero420 8 ай бұрын

Josh is killing it rn with these topics man. Always so fresh and relevant.

@lucienpavone3443 8 ай бұрын

favorite comic out rn, josh really is allergic to missing

@brittneymosley8320 8 ай бұрын

That last story had me dying.

@Amy-kr4tc 3 ай бұрын

One double A battery is just simply mean !!! However… it led to a hell of a great bit! Most comics are at least slightly tortured. That’s what makes y’all all so fantastic. Sucks right .. but also great material. “Within the wicked webs I proceeded”

@MissSaraLeo 8 ай бұрын

This man needs an hour long comedy special on Netflix or something !

@josephdaumen9560 8 ай бұрын

He has one on Peacock if you have that.

@claytonemery8879 7 ай бұрын

I stumbled upon this dude and listen to everything he has on KZfaq and he is hella funny I am a Fan Fan now can’t wait to see him in person

@Max2U 7 ай бұрын

Same--he’s fabulous.

@quanyenwashere 8 ай бұрын

Yeah the whole sitting my child on some random man’s lap never sat well with me. Hence no Santa pictures for my little one 🤷🏽‍♀️

@dianep6791 8 ай бұрын

Nowadays, most Santa's have a bench and the kids sit next to him.

@drphot6050 7 ай бұрын

Well you sat on someones lap as an adult… Hence how you got pregnant 😂

@XxPushoverxX 8 ай бұрын

We can only do what we feel is right. Even if its showing him a bleeding robber on christmas😂😂

@accidental-life 8 ай бұрын

Always BRIGHTENS THE HECK out of my day to see a new video from you up man. 🎉

@ALCORNbtone8912NtZ 8 ай бұрын

The way he said rearrange my guts 😂😂😂

@nevamore1984 8 ай бұрын

That shit was funny as hell, thank you, man 👏👏👏😂

@erinrising2799 8 ай бұрын

better than my mom's family, they got robbed while they were at midnight mass. And they just told the kids, Santa took the presents back

@LindaC616 8 ай бұрын

😢

@iliketea162 8 ай бұрын

Plz what'd the kids do to make them lie like that💀

@mcebomhayise6076 7 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@sammieminniefield8191 6 ай бұрын

DAMN!

@donnahenley2882 8 ай бұрын

I truly appreciate how you produce your craft. It is a real treat to see your videos. Happy holidays and continued success in 2024. Much love and respect.

@consciencecolmon1046 5 ай бұрын

You're super funny and prolific! I think you're going to be one of the greats.

@starblazerio 8 ай бұрын

Hope you had a great Christmas man, found you recently and absolutely love your stand-up! Keep it up man and wish you a happy new years 💙

@LydiAtheistLady 8 ай бұрын

Thanks Josh! You are a superstar. I see you going very far in life! ❤❤❤

@ashleydozar1387 6 ай бұрын

I really wish he would come home to Louisiana and do some shows here. He is one of my favorite comedians.

@sanmerci 4 ай бұрын

This Christmas, wrap all of your presents with duck tape. Like literally. No one will ever complain about you sub-par wrapping skills ever again, guaranteed.

@artisticmiscarriage 8 ай бұрын

Damn, man, you work so hard it’s inspirational.

@elsvaughn7959 8 ай бұрын

That one woman sounds like Josh and she are having a one-on-one conversation 😅

@elsvaughn7959 7 ай бұрын

Oh wow... I just saw my own comment w out realizing it was mine. I'm literally here to tell myself how much I agree. With myself. At least I'm consistent.

@thegodbulitlikebudda7090 8 ай бұрын

FX, hear me out make a show called "Josh" about him and his awkwardness. This will be guaranteed gold. It will be Platinum

@1midnightfish 8 ай бұрын

My friend's house was once burgled just before xmas... Her young son was asleep in his bedroom (thankfully he slept through the whole thing). She was 5 months pregnant. She heard noises outside her bedroom door and called out "Who's that?" and kind of spooked the burglars. Her husband woke up but refused to even poke his head out of the bedroom door to see what was happening!! Gun owenership is problematic in the States right now, but... shout out to stepdad Darren! I hope his relationship with his stepson improved after that.

@mrpink8951 8 ай бұрын

Lmao, don’t worry about black Santa. St. Nicholas was originally Greek. He’s going to have a darker skin tome either way 😂

@BeYourOwnPet. 7 ай бұрын

YESSSS! I used to get excited watch all the videos of how gift wrap anything memorized everything and yet it NEVER worked. It’s like the videos creators did the Martha Stewart school of completion lies where “oh I did this before you arrived” and never in front of anyone at the end to keep their shady wrapping secrets!

@oishikaray2767 8 ай бұрын

LITERALLY SO SOUL SATIsfying to see ya on Trevor Noah’s new podcast episodes!!!!!!!!!!!! Making my LIFE

@LostScarf 8 ай бұрын

Another great set. Merry christmas

@unanuevapecula 8 ай бұрын

Was Chanel West Coast in the audience? Hope everyone enjoyed yout holiday. Thank you Josh, 'see' you in 2024!!!

@byebyeworld961 7 ай бұрын

is he gay?

@IaneHowe 8 ай бұрын

I cannot for the life of me wrap a gift. Everything you describe its me!

@supercherries5119 8 ай бұрын

Great set. Going strong during the holidays! Thanks for the laughs!

@CaidicusProductions 8 ай бұрын

What a great Christmas present.

@22568307r 8 ай бұрын

I'm 1000th like, wish there were more tho. Killin it

@christinadavis2810 8 ай бұрын

Josh u are so funny. Me and my husband watching all your videos 😂. Keep it going May God bless you king

@Not2day-Satan 8 ай бұрын

Twas the night before Christmas. And all through the house the only noise that was heard was a crackhead screaming for help after being shot trying to break in the house.

@kathybell6268 8 ай бұрын

Thanks for such a speedy Christmas set that had me in tears!

@chadcovey1626 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for the material dude

@caterinaint6963 8 ай бұрын

Hi from Melbourne. Love your comedy. It’s madness over there and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s getting a little crazy here too. Thanks for the laughs. Hope to see you in Australia some day.

@simmiedavissimmiesings8185 8 ай бұрын

Merry Christmas Josh!

@JoyStLouis-xm9wo 8 ай бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Merry Christmas Joshy 🎅🏾 🎄

@neuroriot 8 ай бұрын

How does stepdad know how Santa bleeds - unless he shot him sometime in the past?!

@DeadInside-ew8qb 8 ай бұрын

Remember…snitches get stitches

@MsGnor 6 ай бұрын

Josh, such a gem. Love your comedy bro! 😂🎄🎅

@christina-clairegeorges3661 8 ай бұрын

Ready for some post holiday laughs !

@vanessawhitneypro 7 ай бұрын

Brilliant comic! Keep at it, Josh!

@killianjones4970 8 ай бұрын

Merry Christmas, man. Appreciate you.

@rockymountainfoothills 8 ай бұрын

Happy holidays

@lucamara6424 8 ай бұрын

The thumbnail made me think it was a story about someone shitting on Santa😆 censoring words can be funny

@rlacee9574 8 ай бұрын

Josh, thank you for the laughter I just hope you’re getting some rest in between your shows. I don’t mean like behind the stage and sleep waking up wondering, where the heck am I. No I mean I hope you’re taking some time off for yourself refresh your mind. don’t want you looking old with red eyes and bags, dried up snot in your nose because you’re too tired to wipe your nasty nose, hair just looking jacked up, Rashy skin because you’re forgetting to wash your nasty face because you’re so tired, so all I’m saying is make sure you get some rest and time for yourself i’m just saying 💁🏽‍♀️ you’re doing a good job as a comedian. Thank you again . Ria L.

@LindaC616 8 ай бұрын

Logan, is that you?

@eonsabroad2795 8 ай бұрын

Was Chanel West Coasf in the front row? Great set but there was alot of dolphin laughing.

@Amorfati536 8 ай бұрын

You always make me laugh! Thank you, Josh! Merry Christmas!

@iedison3839 7 ай бұрын

“This big man’s giant hands could rearrange my guts” Pause

@DoreyBomb 8 ай бұрын

I did not know the thumbnail meant "🔫 Santa" and not "💩 Santa"

@LSflow2 2 ай бұрын

Was Chanel WestCoast in the audience laughing the whole time 😂😂😂

@autisticari1925 8 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂this is hilarious

@ddavidjeremy 2 ай бұрын

I love this woman's laugh

@katherinedobias7499 8 ай бұрын

Omg loved this

@lucen3d 2 ай бұрын

That lady cackling 😂😂

@shaunwordplay3111 5 ай бұрын

When he said "rearrange my guts" I was like woah easy now. Step dad Darren is funny

@gracestoute6275 8 ай бұрын

Happy holidays! Thanks for the laughs throughout the year . Much success!

@jajaallen5945 8 ай бұрын

😅 Thanks for the laughs & 🎉 HNY ❤

@thedoylehughes Ай бұрын

I fell like there was more at the tale end of the kid thinking santa got got, I need the rest of the story

@THICCTHICCTHICC 8 ай бұрын

Santa dont bleed like that

@Meredith13Angel 8 ай бұрын

Pahahaha 🤣 I was a dead giveaway on if I wrapped gifts! It looked like I wrapped a Boulder every time! I eventually switched to using bags 😅

@yrb5512 8 ай бұрын

Happy Holidays. Starting out great for 2024

@cindydaniels3964 7 ай бұрын

We love this guy.Best there is.😁😸✌️

@drewsantana8797 8 ай бұрын

The chipmunk in the front row is killing me!

@GeorgeLista 8 ай бұрын

6:43 she was thinking about an entirely different method for intestinal rearrangement

@linkflorestv87 8 ай бұрын

I love the laugh on the girl in the front. It kinda just added to the hilarity for me.

@WayPastWildPodcast 8 ай бұрын

That chick with the Stavros/Chanel West Coast laugh is distracting😅

@brynneholt1990 8 ай бұрын

Stepdad Darren was a hero!

@marshalleesmith4365 8 ай бұрын

I definitely laughed out loud. Happy Holidays!

@PinnkPisces 5 ай бұрын

Sounds like Chanel West Coast in the crowd 😂

@edawg0 8 ай бұрын

Finally watching one live!!!

@kittyonmydesk5532 7 ай бұрын

Oh, no! Puns! PUUNNNSSSS!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

@A_Muzik 8 ай бұрын

1. Happy Holidays Josh Johnson. 2. This was hilarious

@danfontaine8179 7 ай бұрын

That last line was great

@fakshen1973 7 ай бұрын

Santa ain't got time to bleed... (brrrrrrrrrrt)

@TheAirhog13 7 ай бұрын

Really cool of Chantelle West Coast to be sitting in the front row!

@HassanLyonn 7 ай бұрын

When are you going to be in Utah and Seattle??? I gots to know, you’re my favorite comedian and have been for years now. I’ve just been to broke to go see you but now that the moneys coming in I really want to see you live

@JoshJohnsonComedy 4 ай бұрын

Here’s SLC tickets if you didn’t grab them yet downtown-slc-wiseguyscomedy-com.seatengine.com/shows/262877

@arcticfox7153 7 ай бұрын

😂 Get it, Josh! 🎉🎉❤

@realdanrusso 8 ай бұрын

I'm one of those crazies who went to NYC for Christmas this year hahaha, its a family tradition. And I didn't even think to check to see if you were performing. As Trump says, SAD!!!