Ahhh, right?! x((

True

This 👏🏾

Ikr 😭

Exactly

Yep. True.

So true

Absolutely!

I agree

Very well said!

Very true

💯 x 💯

Does this apply to women and their mixed signals too? Yes it does.

'Assault'??? You need to get a grip woman....we always choose who we fall for.You make it a male bashing one way statement,we all make our choices.WE....not genders ..not male or female.

@@davidthomspson9771 unless a woman belongs to that (fortunately) small % of opportunistic sluts, she'll be much more direct with a man when she no longer wants to be with him or when she doesn't want a relationship in the first place.

You see, men are victims to expressing his feelings directly to women before. And what do they get from those girls in return? 'Ohh what a simp, he's got no game!' 'What? He's so easy confesses to me like that no challenge at all' 'So blunt and direct, expressing interest so fast what a huge turnoff!' 'Since he like me I'm going to test his neediness and see how much he's willing to chase me' All these sound familiar? Some of these women can be downright immature, who only want an answer right here and now and when she does have it, she rejects him. If a man wants you nothing can keep him away.. thus when he chases her more, it got escalated to harassment. Many times it isn't the guessing games they're playing. They're guaging to see if your interest in him matches the same level as his. Not all women are capable of direct heart to heart conversation. And also, being fear of rejection does not equate to not being able to keep his promise

It's really that simple!

I have a question. How do males and females bond with each other? I don't see how men and women can bond (especially romantically) with each other. Women can build incredible friendships and become very close to each other in a way men can't bond, and science shows that women can bond very well with each other. Generally, women are even more social than men are. After something bad happens, a woman quickly rushes to talk to all of her female friends to get support, whereas a man can isolate himself and grief alone. Women tend to be more emotional, more caring, more empathic, more compassionate, more affectionate, more loyal, more nurturing, more understanding, more sympathetic, more sensitive, more kind hearted, more peaceful, more calmer, more gentle, more expressive, more intuitive, and more outward than men are, and thus bond more with other women in a special way that they can’t with men. Men, on the other hand, are not that emotional, and thus can’t bond with other men in a special way. Women are more comfortable being around with other women than they are with men. They have a type of bond that usually men with women won’t really have, or with men and men. Men are usually much lonelier than women are. Men don't often talk about their personal problems with their male friends like how women do with their female friends. Females produce a lot more oxytocin than males do. And that's a reason why women tend to hug a lot more and be a lot more physically affectionate than men do.

Love this advice 💖

Not everyone can look someone in the eyes!!! If your super attracted!

Im going through this now...We met two years ago....and spent four hours sat on a bench...falling in love. Kept on touch for two years....live two hours apart....life has been happening. He lives in St.Ives..I live in Saltash Cornwall. We had a perfect day together last week...finally. omg!! He is awesome. Just the perfect day and we didn't want it to end. Are we dating now? Yes, we were intimate...didn't want to be platonic anymore ..mutually ready. He is keeping in touch ..and it looks like we will meet up again in a month. He felt like a soul mate two years ago....I want to know everything..his messages are very pleasant. Kind of like they were...what we are doing ..etc etc...I want him. Life is now...I can't be guessing. Due to betrayal my confidence isn't what it was...expected to come back and not see him again. My heart can't take anymore losses. But they day we had last week....oh boy, if I never saw him again, it was a day you couldn't repeat.

So very true

Being discarded by a covert narcissist is an absolute blessing!

Unless a man pursues the woman more 90× she's putting more work.

I know. It does happen more than we like to admit.

Like my ex

Players aren't shy there straight forward doing hook ups, shy guys are the complete opposite there more interested in getting to know the opposite sex before saying they like them it's called finding common ground most shy guys want a relationship with a genuine good woman as long as she's not monkey branching dating multiple men is a definite no

Same. 😕

Same here. I want to here it from his mouth.

True, im afraid of rejection and someone disliking me so I never expect someone to like me

But, it’s also a question of “into me, with what intention”. Even with this video, sometimes, with some guys, it can be hard to parse out whether there are mind games, with one night stands in mind or something more honorable. I once had a guy after me and it went on for a few years. But, he was a hard read, for sure. When he finally tired out, he blurted out that 3 letter word - sex. He blew it. Because it made me feel as if all that effort and maneuvering might’ve only been about sex. I was more mad, than flattered, although I had all sorts of things dancing around in my head, too. I often wondered if he thought to himself, “Welp, I guess I destroyed that opportunity.”

How about instincts...should they really be trusted,

Me too.

thank you

Exactly. What's the point of being with a man who isn't clear about his feelings? smh... Something is seriously wrong there.

true. Then something is off

May be he does it because he will afraid get rejected from you That's why he hiding him feeling

@@darcyroyce I was making more of a general statement. There are times when one unexpectedly develops feelings for someone who had been a friend and then one can over Analyze anything they do or say to turn it into something other than being a nice guy. This was not a con artist or anything like that. I always feel like a fool when I do this. I feel so guilty for caring about someone when they don't feel the same way about me. I don't WANT to RUIN a friendship or lose their respect. Right now I am trying to put this person back into the proper zone - the just friends zone. I still have feelings for him. I still care about them deeply and am very drawn to them. But it is wasting time and energy to care about someone when they don't share the feelings. Right now I am trying to dust myself off and focus on things that I like to do and over schedule myself- so I will be too busy to even think of them. I know I am enough on my own and I will be fine. I just got to forget about them that way.

Ah feels like high value woman carry too much of a risk for these men!

… because we are not a sure thing, and they are too fragile to handle rejection = weak men that do not have my respect… its best they stay where they are- away- which clears space for the high value men

This “high value” bullshit needs to cease💀

You sound hostile. Maybe men are picking up on that and wisely choosing to avoid your drama.

Dude same. It’s so annoying. If a man knows you’re too good for him it makes his insecurity that’s already there deeper. I’m attracted to men that are super hot but kinda are silly, goofy, or slightly clueless because for some reason I find them endearing. Problem is, these guys usually don’t get a clue about romance

Thanks for saying it as is.

I thought he's talking about if a man doesn't approach a woman due to shyness

Yep. It can sometimes be a m outine field

Sometimes a mine field, but keep trying

Thanks for your posting I’m having a very similar situation too 🙌🙌🙌

You did the right thing!Were you able to get over him?

@@whatsagoodname1841 He reached out months later but I met someone else. He still sees his ex so I’m glad I moved on.

Sounds like a personality disorder

@@yaelWolfebaz mmmm thank you

Attachment style dismissive avoidant.. Look up Thais Gibson

@@kokoskokso I’m familiar! I used to be fearful avoidant but this was not dismissive it was combative, more like an FA or BPD

Amen! Thats why there is no such thing as a shy man, only a man who does not love enough, as “there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts fear out, because fear restrains us…. The one who is fearful has not been made perfect in love” 1 John 4:18. I decided to stop making excuses for these “shy” fearful men, as they are truly only thinking of themselves. What confident woman wants to condescend to date a man who is fearful? That is not a real man

If you don't love, you don't know God, because God is love.❤️

Thank you for this. Needed to hear this

I can relate sis.

I think it’s because weirdly, some women come off as very intimidating. We don’t mean to be.. we also give off the vibes of that we don’t want them to talk to them. I didn’t realize that, until I switched careers. I used to work with 99% women and now I work for 99% men. And apparently I was much more intimidating than I thought. I give off a very independent and I have no time for vibes. So, perhaps that is you as well.

No! It sucks. Nothing worse than being at work feeling like u have to ward off wounded, egotistical idiots

Sounds like a player, he doesn't actually love you, you deserve better

Yeah same happened here although we don't work together. These men can only manage 4 months of dating as they are not the committed types.

they all suck

Sounds like he only wants to show affection to you whenever ~he~ has time/whenever it's 'convenient' to him.. 😏 And he suddenly has more 'time' to do that, because you're technically split up..but when you were together then he doesn't find time.. Guess he can't handle commitment.. Sucks.

Is his name Mike?

Gifted: 👟 👟

What if he is shy or scared that I'll reject him?

@@nvox6538 NOOOO IF YOU KNOW THAT HE IS SHY AND HAVE A FEELING THAT HE LIKES YOU FR FR GO TO HIM AND ASK “DO YOU LIKE ME OR NOT” thats it, you have nothing to lose

@@mada_elena-q6s he approached me for the first time not long ago to pass on some information as we work close by and that was the first time we actually spoke, I was in a little state of shock he made me so nervous I couldn't believe he was right there standing in front of me... I was like having an out of body experience trying to act normal 😂 he looked nervous also but I think not as nervous as me... idk how to talk to him he makes me go stupid 😳😅

@@nvox6538 THAT IS SO SWEET❤️❤️❤️ you can find a reason to talk to him next time like he did! Remember you have to go after what you want! Good luck 🤞

@@mada_elena-q6s it's terrifying but thank youuu sis ❤❤❤❤

Great questions! I’m curious about answers to them myself

Yessss! I need help with this too.

a sign he‘s in love to me is he does small stuff like hold the door for, is always considerate and tries to start conversations and while he does it you look at him and you just can see it’s no egoistical agenda, it’s love, it’s for you. and it certainly can make him shy or nervous :) that’s what i picked up so far but i‘m only 22

as far as i could observe by pretty many example men who labeled themselves as „loving“ me, i‘d say the safest sign is if he just acts like any person who likes the other, just engaged and attentive and loving. if he is distant instead of this or seems unengaged you dont believe if he says he‘s in love. or if he seems like his mind is somewhere else than where we are. but the same goes for any friendship or family member i think it’s pretty helpful to simplifyit like that 😘

@@bathemeinchampagne We are far beyond interested. He has said things that indicate to me that he is in love, but I may be misinterpreting them. Also, we are in a long distance relationship, so that adds a layer of complexity. We don't get to see each other but every 2-3 months.

Omg yes! All of this! You just articulated everything I’ve been thinking lately.

Well said.

🎯💯

@Egert Roosgonna throw a several part answer at you because it's way more complicated for us than guys seem to realize. Part 1: the whys. When women put their feelings out in any kind of obvious way or make the 1st move, it greatly increases the chances of being immediately labeled as "easy", "desperate" & not "serious dating material". This leads to us being used for sex, boredom-filler, taken for granted, treated poorly in general. Irregardless of her own character, actions, intentions, self-worth to boot, it's a real risk when we put ourselves out there. It can also set a precedent for the woman to carry the relationship where the guy may act as though he has her hooked for merely existing, thereby putting minimal effort into the relationship. Then we have the feeling-fakers. There are plenty who will pretend to be attracted to a woman for any number of reasons, even beyond sex. Some can/ will keep up the charade for months to even years if it suits them. Some out there will make games of leading a woman on simply due to resentment for a past hurt where they project it towards hurting all women instead of addressing & processing the feels in a healthy way. Females are brought up on the notion of his effort = his interest. Little to no consistent effort/ attention = he doesn't want her. It's also what gets us into these player traps. The players have no problem putting in effort & will give chase, making us think the guy is interested when he's not. On top of that, the guy off on the sidelines with his secret crush isn't being considered as a potential suitor BECAUSE he's not making himself known as a potential suitor. In turn, if she doesn't know a guy is interested, she'll NEVER make a move on him either, no matter how she feels. Even the most confident of females need a very obvious green light before they'll consider initiating. To take that even further, it's a lot easier for us to gauge male intentions by how/what he says when he approaches. We can't accurately gauge it when we initiate because again, guys absolutely will play off of female intentions & fake feelings if they feel like it. All in all, that's A LOT of uneccessary crap to navigate & watch out for behind one simple act of a woman initiating. Rejection sucks & it's scary, sure. I think it's safe to speak on behalf of all women when I say, we'd ALL prefer the outright rejection VS potentially being strung along for funsies. Some could make the argument of "picking the wrong ones" which can absolutely be true to a point, however also adds to the "don't make a move because you may be wrong about this one too." Like I said, it's really complicated. Part 2: the signs of female attraction. They're subtle, yet we do put them out there. They won't seem subtle once you know what you're looking at though. -- she'll create opportunities for you to notice her or talk to her. Lingering, excuses to make conversation, popping up or passing by places you frequent, work, etc. She may even ask for your help or create little opportunities to look like she needs it when you come around (dropping things, having a minor "emergency" or in a school environment, she may ask for class notes or ideas for a paper or project regularly). Guys do peacocking & showing off. Gals will make themselves present & manufacture an environment or situation for the guy to take the lead. -- staring, repeated glances, eye contact & **especially how she reacts when you notice her looking**. If she's particularly shy & interested, she will look down & away & blush, smile slightly while trying to hide it. If she's not too shy or her attraction overrides it in the moment, she'll maintain eye contact, blush or smile, look down & then look back to maintain eye contact again. That's one of the biggest green lights btw. We use our eyes a lot to convey attraction. If she's not at all interested, she may make an unpleasant, uncomfortable face, roll her eyes or just turn her head to the side & look at something else. Looking down & away = shy & interested. To the side = not interested. -- Watch the friends: they may act goofy, giggly or tease her a bit the moment you come around. If she's very shy, her friends may even create little opportunities to bring the 2 of you together like inviting you places where she is or regularly bring her name up in convos with you as a way to gauge your interest in her. Along the same lines of making her presence known & manufacturing opportunities, but primarily led by the friend group. -- subconcious body language: ppl have a tendency to point their toes or head, if not their whole body towards what we like most. So she'll be facing you in some way or keeping you in her sights if she's interested. If her arms/ legs cross or she turns her entire body away when she sees you, she's not interested. Running away is a funny one, but both men & women will do this when shy or nervous. This is one of those where you then have to look for the other subtle signs or how they look at you. If they go deer-in-headlights around you, they like you & are completely terrified of doing the wrong thing. If she's usually very outgoing & goes quiet when you come near, she likes you. Disgust is a pretty obvious NO. -- mirroring: if she's interested, she'll subconsciously repeat your actions when you're in her field of view, even from across a room. Say you both are holding a drink. You take a sip, she takes a sip. Scratch your neck, cross your arms, touch your nose, run your fingers through your hair, etc, she'll follow suit seconds later if she likes you. It's a completely subconscious response we do to feel more connected to the person who has our attention. Works like a charm! You can even use it to create a connection intentionally by 1st mirroring someone's body language for a bit, then taking the lead with your own & seeing if they mirror back. If they do, they're more likely to be receptive to you. Part 3: my advice Just make the fking move & get it over with. The worst that happens is she says "no", you slide into a hole of self-pity that you & ONLY you can pull yourself out of. You won't die. You may mourn over your feelings & all the things you once dreamed of. Eventually you'll move on to find someone who actually wants & appreciates you. We're not going to be everyone's flavor & 99% of relationships won't work out as we hope. That's okay & not a reality we can fight. The best case-scenario, she excitedly says "yes!", you both fall madly in love, get married, fk like bunnies for the rest of your natural lives, picket fence, matching burial plots & so forth. Either way, you'll never know if you do absolutely nothing & don't make your feelings known! Stuck in limbo, pining away, festering into regret & a lifetime of could-have-beens. That's what you're looking at by doing nothing, leaving it up to her & all the "her"s that will come after. Don't do that to yourself. The biggest keys to overcoming rejection are 1. not to take it personally... No one has to like you & plenty of ppl will find reasons not to that have absolutely nothing to do with you. Crazy world, but it's truth. 2. Use it constructively (like make improvements that increase your confidence, self-acceptance & self-awareness) vs DEstructively (internalizing & wallowing in negative feelings, turning to negative habits to cope, resentment, anger). DON'T become a victim to your own feels & fears. It gets ugly. 3. Let go of expectations & any attachments to the outcome. We humans love our control over things, but it often results in way more struggle than necessary. If you can hit a point where you expect everything & yet nothing, all that fear & pressure you're putting on yourself goes out the window. Easier said than done & takes practice. Life gets a lot less stressful when you can master this though. This turned out to be way longer than I expected, but I hope this helps in some ways. Good luck!

This is what I have been going through. And it's not only maddening, completely stressful, but i've also have been deeply hurt by someone I think the world of. This is their pattern and this only makes me feel like less after we hang out. Am I not special? No. I was apparently a bandaid. And the most hurtful thing of all, is I feel I am losing my best friend : ( Guys. You want simple but you make shit complicated. It shouldn't be complicated. Stop playing with emotions.

Maybe you should be blunt and ask him about how he feels about you?

@@uyennguyen5741 I don't I can do that haha.

If you have sex in the first date how do you know you are not giving yourself to Jeffrey Dahmer? I think men and women that are quick to have sex actually have a low self esteem and afraid to say NO. In this society we are living in people need to take time to vet people before you just jump into the sack with them. It makes like less complicated.

Terrible perspective and advice.

@@siriusakari6729 Exactly.

I thoroughly enjoyed watching this video too. Love, love, looooved his take on it

ahahaaaa thank you i needed a good laugh

damn why i didn't hear of them before? these natural drops are life for me. my partner stopped saying i'm bad in bed !

I'm with ya. You can see all sorts of signs, but yet they're just really shitty at checking their messages, so you kinda go crazy because that extra communication & paying attention when ~you~ need it (instead of him volunteering it) -- is that end-game you need.. Instead of sitting in limbo, knowing nothing ~for sure~.. Ughh...

Can j have your email?

😂😂😂

Yes, what does this mean?!

Someone else may have piqued his interest or you pissed him off… or he scared himself away because his emotions were too intense to handle and he wasn’t sure if you feel the same. The backing away to see if you come after him thing may be at play. Brian said if you don’t chase after him, he’ll come back straight away, if he likes YOU. I’d date someone else. If he wants you, he’ll come back even if it’s months later. Men don’t have a handle on their emotions like we do.

@@moniquehorton1111 this reality is very hard to except. I wrestled with it for a year

Run and don't look back! He's either a player or not that interested. A man that's really into you won't risk letting you "on the market" to be taken by someone else. Whatever the case, even if he comes back, would you trust him? And why wouldn't he disappear again? Is this the kind of relationship you'd want?!

Aww, call him up and ask him what's up

got everything sorted now?