I can get sooo clingy yet at the same time be so determined to push ppl away, ghost, or disappear. Still don't know if I have BPD, CPTSD, or if it's just a combination of depression and anxiety

Cry

twinn

@@Southghost5997someone was having a mood swing!😃

OMG! Thank you so much for your comment! I've been thinking about wether I have ADHD for a long time. Never wanted a diagnosis because in highschool everyone around me who got diagnosed used it as an excuse for their shitty behaviour and I didn't want that possability for me. Many symptoms of insecurity and BPD clicked with me but I'm generally pretty confident. I really noticed lately my anxious thoughts, insecurities, etc. Have skyrocketed since haveing to do long distance with my first ever relationship (started 5 months ago). And ot is exactely as you say, sleep deprivation and tiredness makes my negative emotions and fears so much worse!

What triggers mood swings? Perhaps this concept which is closely related to ADHD; Symptoms of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (when criticism hurts) - Being easily embarrassed - Heightened fear of failure - Unrealistically high expectations for self - Assuming people don't like you - Avoiding social settings - Perfectionistic tendencies What triggers RSD? Everyone's RSD triggers are different, but they may include: - being rejected or thinking you're being rejected, like not getting a response to a text message or email - a sense of falling short or failing to meet your own high standards or others' expectations - being criticized for something you can't control

@@ranc1977 that's not what my experience was tbh

@@HugoStiglitz88 That's why BPD has 4 sub-types. Quiet BPD is equal to RSD.

I relate to most diagnosis of ADHD, except for snapping. Im very Young, and my mom tells me I don’t have it, so I diagnosed myself. I have nothing to treat it with, so I treat my ADHD as a cycle.

This clears up a lot of the questions I had about this lol

We do know the source(s): 1- Genes, there is a hereditary component, iows, nature loads the gun, nurture pulls the trigger. 2- Kernberg's second developmental task, overcoming splitting, those with BPD failed that task in early childhood, that's one of the nurture parts, aka, toxic environment, part of the trigger pulled, brain might or might not go neurodivergent on its own without abandonment trauma. 3- Add abandonment trauma(s) and the trigger is fully pulled most of the time ( but not always ) if #2 is true, brain takes a different developmental path into neurodivergence -> BPD.

It is 100% right. This is exactly how I feel :)

There’s always a source, that’s the start of it. I’ve had BPD for 20yrs and CPTSD, they are separate things. So, yeah, that person is talking out their arse.

i have bpd and ptsd😔

Really it will be painful for him after he stops being angry, but the person should not feel hopeless no matter what his problem is and every year you are a problem that has a solution or even ways to manage anger and emotions and support from the surrounding people who are crazy to understand the situation

"Jeckyll and Hyde." When we are triggered, amygdala is hijacked - and of course our brain will not have full plethora of personality traits available at disposal. In Dysregulation - only basic persona trait set is available. This is not sickness nor abnormality, this is how brain works. Most people who never experienced hysterical authority figures in childhood know how to regulate themselves and then they appear "normal" and without mood swings - not because they are normal, but because they never were imprinted with mentally ill untreated psychopath's behavior in childhood.

@@ranc1977 Completely true or we can represent for her the person who was programmed in a certain way where he acquired behavior based on his previous programming and the other who was left without exposure to any programming i.e. naturally without any interventions or effects

@@gafer8808 I would be careful with identifying what is our behavior and what is programming. People tend to label their fawning and shyness as abnormality and scapegoat it as a reason for being abused. This belief leads to toxic shame, self blame, mental illness and personality disorder. We need to understand that what we see as programming, and I personally call it "hypnosis" while in reality it is Operant Conditioning - that this a natural reaction to abuser and someone untreated mentally ill, someone who is evil and abusive and predatory. It is coping mechanisms that we were coerced into becoming. Otherwise we were tormented and psychologically and physically abused all the time, through set of punishments and Negative Reinforcement. This is crucial to understand - because if we do not understand that it is Coercive Control - we will tend to self blame ourselves and then over-compensate and build fake persona who appears strong and defensive - which ends up as hysterical Karen and being abusive. Then we pass trauma onto the next generation, like a generational curse. It is important to realize to validate ourselves, validate our reactions to abnormal people and abnormal situations. As oppose to have fantasy about becoming "strong". We already are strong. All we need is self validation and self acceptance in order to build our Self, our identity and our persona - without being coerced by toxic evil monsters - psychopaths and narcissists around us. - "Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame" Peter Levine

@@ranc1977 Yes, I agree with you. Coercive behavior is a defensive, natural mechanism to protect oneself from harm from those around people, for every action there is a reaction, also self-blame is not good because it is basically forced behavior and not optional, accepting oneself to help it to build oneself is the best solution, really great words I really benefited from this talk thank you

Sounds like alexythmia

CBT is ableist therapy, it is narcissistic abuse in medical industry, created by narcissists and psychopaths who like domination, control and manipulation of weak targets, someone who seeks genuine help for debilitating states and then they make money profit with misdiagnosis and wrong explanations. Think of CBT like Trump being smart enough to finish medical school so he is now director of medical industry in America, that is what who runs CBT and DSM, a mentally ill psychopaths who are evil to the core. CBT ought to be banned.

Cock & ball torture

Same here. For the longest time I thought I couldn’t possibly have BPD because I didn’t think I was having emotion lability but that was because I couldn’t figure out what I was feeling. Later discovered it was a lot of rage and despair.

You can do it

I would talk to a professional to help with some tools to help you.

@@dana102083 Professional will misdiagnose her. Quiet BPD is not official term and most doctors have no idea that it exists.

It is Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria that explain what triggers us - search about it, learn about it more.

same

@@FalingoBlade IFS Model helps with Quiet BPD: No Bad Parts - book.

Try to get a therapist, might help!

Dbt and trauma therapy will help you ❤

As the two comments above mentioned, the best thing would be to speak with a mental health professional :)

A psychologist will help you through with therapy & counselling, a psychiatrist will just give you medication to control it… it’s a process to learn how to manage yourself and unlearn some habits we’ve ingrained in ourselves so it’s better to seek a psychologist

@@Psych2go easy to say, try that in a 3rd world country and see how it goes.

I honestly think I have discouraged BPD. I feel like my world is crashing down when that feeling hits. I can't make out anyone's intentions or feel my sense of control. It's like opening up a can of worms, and I just want to self isolate. I don't know what to say to others. In that moment I'm not okay and in return you're not okay with me either.

Have you had a chance to speak with a professional who could diagnose him?

@@Psych2go I believe they’ve both discussed it with each other in private, though not sure if/when they’ll opt for a formal diagnosis at this stage (possibly in light of the challenges and stigmas I’ve faced in their push for a definitive diagnosis of what’s “wrong” with me, and wanting to avoid similar hardships and societal invalidation on top of their already existing mess of life dramas). Either way, it’s ultimately their call; all I can do is keep focussing on my own healing journey, striving to get my life on track and distance myself from this cycle of volatility, which is easier said than done on multiple levels… 🫤

There is no difference between Quiet BPD and CPTSD. They are exactly the same.

@@ranc1977 there is quite a difference. I would just like to see a well done video on the overlaps and differences. I was diagnosed with BPD and never actually met the criteria fully, it was just CPTSD presenting itself similarly.

@@LittleMissJenn Can you list a difference?

@@ranc1977 sorry, I had replied multiple times and it had not gone through and only realised now. The biggest difference between BPD and CPTSD is that one is innate, and one is learned, meaning that it can be unlearned. There are many overlapping symptoms and qualities, though it has been proven that CPTSD is not a subset of BPD nor PTSD, but rather can exist comorbidly. There are a few great recent articles online explaining the differences and why they could be seen as similar, and some wonderful books by Pete Walker on CPTSD specifically.

@@LittleMissJenn Then it gets complex - no pun intended because: There is Quiet BPD - which is not like BPD, Quiet BPD is hardly recognized and it is often missed and misdiagnosed as something else..

Life IS PAIN. It will probably not get any better. Sad but true.

@1unsung971 Please spare me the recitation of lessons from the Princess Bride School of Psychology. There's only so much "manning up" a person can do before that person decides that the taste of a gauge hurts less than the rest of the world. Maybe I'd prefer to not reach that particular threshold again.

​@@1unsung971life is pain but constant suffering can be lessened. Reducing harm, hello..

So many of those disorders share symptoms. My older sister has been through that exact same thing

@siqxyre8473 I'm aware. I'm currently being medicated for Bipolar Disorder, but my current therapist is working on her diagnosis of PTSD being the underlying problem and other things being misread symptoms. I only go through the full list to provide an example of the level to which, no matter how much people in this field want to help others, this is, at best, an inexact science.

As someone with BPD, I find no stigma in the name. In Britain they call it “emotionally unstable personality disorder”. That name has WAY more stigma to it. I would run away from a person if they told me “ I have emotionally unstable personality disorder”. BPD sounds subtle.

And that not everyone exhibits the same symptoms.

its because its unlisted

Perhaps your friend suspects that you might be depressed and wants to help. Have you ever been diagnosed with depression?

@@Psych2go I think he was ironic. He already knows the answers to his clickbait questions.

@@Psych2go yeah, now I have

@@Psych2go take in mind from an actual psychologist

@@ranc1977 no not ironic sadly, but thanks

Quiet Borderline Most clinicians think of the borderline personality disorder case as being angry and explosive, but these individuals are instead quiet and hurting. People living with quiet BPD may feel misunderstood and receiving a correct diagnosis can feel as though a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. Quiet BPD looks different from ‘typical’ BPD. You may appear calm and high functioning, instead of ‘exploding’, you implode and collapse from within. some people fight, some people flee, some people dissociate. It is a matter of spectrum, rather than categorization. No one has either completely ‘classic’ or ‘quiet’ BPD, or should be labeled as such. As we discuss ‘quiet borderline’ or Quiet BPD, please be mindful that it is a survival strategy, not a definition of your personality. (eggshelltherapy) Quiet BPD often also overlaps with 'high-functioning BPD', where a part of the self is 'split off' to maintain a facade of hyper-competence and independence. (psychology today) Signs and Symptoms of Quiet BPD You look calm on the outside even when you are suffering from extreme pain on the inside. You have extreme mood swings that seem to come from nowhere. You hide your anger, sometimes to the point you don't know it when you are angry. You tend to blame yourself for things even when they are not your fault. When relationships end or conflicts arise, you immediately assume you did something wrong. You hold up an image that appears 'normal', calm and successful. You feel that there is something defective about you. You mentally retreat and can become dissociated when stressed. Most of the time, you feel empty and numb. When someone upsets you, instead of seeking clarification or confronting them, you immediately withdraw and may end the relationship without speaking to the person. You feel that you are a burden on others. One moment, you idealize other people, but soon you lose trust in them. Generally, you don't feel safe in the world. (Psychology Today) Through research, his team found that some people are 'overcontrolled' rather than 'undercontrolled.' Rather than being dysregulated and impulsive, they have the opposite struggles. They overly tolerate distress to the point where they don't seek help even when needed. They are sensitive to threats and interpersonal cues and easily feel hurt. However, they hide their emotions so much that they appear flat and un-feeling. While most people with BPD are undercontrolled and come across as being overly emotional and erratic, overcontrolled people are quiet, reserved, understated, and seem hard to engage. Because of this, their suffering is missed by most. Usually, undercontrolled personality is associated with Cluster B personality disorders such as Antisocial Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder, while the overcontrolled character is linked to Cluster-C personality disorders such as Avoidant Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder, or Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder. (Psychology Today) According to Dr. Lynch, people who are over-controlled have the following four core deficits: - Lack of Receptivity and Openness: You tend to be risk-averse and hyper-vigilant. You may avoid new and novel experiences and can be dismissive of other people's input and feedback. - Lack of Flexible Responding: You may have a compulsive need for structure and order. You plan and rehearse everything. Your life may be governed by rigid rules you impose on yourself. You may also censor yourself and other people's behavior with high moral standards. - Lack of Emotional Expression and Awareness: You inhibit spontaneous emotional expression. Maybe you have expressions that do not match how you feel inside (e.g. you smile when you are distressed). You also tend to diminish your distress and adopt a stoic facade. - Lack of Social Connectedness and Intimacy: You may appear distant and aloof and keep people at arm's length. You may also compare yourself with others often and feel envious and bitter. These biology-based traits are powerful because they are unconscious and affect us without us even realizing it. Because this is an innate predisposition, you cannot will yourself, think yourself, or use more willpower to control or talk your way out of it. (Psychology Today) The Struggles of Quiet BPD Posted July 23, 2021 Over-control may help explain Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder. People with quiet BPD may: - Generally feel unsafe in the world - Feel empty and numb most of the time - Feel frequent shame and guilt - Project an image that appears "normal," calm, and successful - Believe that there is something defective about them - Have a great need for control - At times feel "surreal," as though in a movie or a dream - Look calm on the outside even when they're struggling intensely on the inside - Have extreme mood swings that are sudden and unexpected - Hide their anger, sometimes to the point they don't recognize when they're angry - Blame themselves for things even when they're not at fault - Immediately assume they did something wrong when relationships end or when conflicts arise - Dissociate and mentally retreat when stressed - Withdraw and possibly end a relationship when someone upsets them instead of discussing the situation - Feel that they are a burden on others - "People please," even when it's detrimental to themselves - Fear being alone but push people away - Idealize other people at first, but quickly lose trust in them - Experience "splitting" behavior" (black-and-white thinking or swinging from one extreme to another, with little provocation) (verywellhealth) Characteristics of Quiet BPD - Becoming suddenly quiet and withdrawn - Failing to return phone calls and texts or to follow through on plans - Saying that "everything is fine" even when stress is high - Feeling that any strong emotional expression is wrong and should cause shame and guilt - Extreme people-pleasing - Saying that nothing matters - Engaging in a string of intense and unhealthy relationships - Constantly feeling that they are not good enough for another person, even when the person is not very desirable (choosing therapy)

I would imagine qbpd I like bpd just without the explosiveness towards other and more so ur holding it it or tend to withdraw/avoid what it is that's troubling u instead of confronting it with undue aggression

Thank you for the donation! :)

You forget to add "...or else"

@@ranc1977hey dude don’t be mean, they’re like us. -person with bpd

@@chipkid It's a joke.

@@ranc1977 sorry my autistic ass couldn’t tell lol

@@chipkid hehe 💕💝

How does that work? What's it like to have both disorders?

@@existentialchaos8 it's weird, it's like 2 distinctly different personalities. With most people, like friends and associates, I just feel really indifferent and no desire to partake in social activities or maintain the relationship. But with romantic relationships and family i get really attached, anxious, emotionally volatile, and so on. It's not something I can really control, it's just like I get bombarded with extreme uncontrollable emotions. Anger, depression, even get quite possessive. Anyway there's a lot more to it, but as a summary you could say my really close relationships are very volatile and fragile, while the rest are very surface level.

@@xanira6367 Oh. If I may ask, how are you managing with your relationships? What are things you do to cope with this?

@@existentialchaos8 schizoid i don't really "cope" I just tell people that I don't feel particularly enticed to deal with them. BPD I don't really know, Ive taken meds. I've had periods where I drank and smoked a lot. It's not things that I recommend, but sometimes it feels like there's only hurt and pain. Maybe more positive ways to cope would be to find something you're passionate about, and focus as much as you can on that. Could be gaming, music, cooking, crochet... and so on. It doesn't always work but sometimes it's good to look back and consider that you've been through similar situations before. You're gonna be fine and get out on the other side.

@@xanira6367 That's good advice. BPD sounds pretty hard to live with. Do you talk to anyone about these things, especially when you're in these painful periods (like a therapist, friends, etc.)?

What year?

"(I won't mention the details)" That is the epitome/summary/essence/gist/sum of Quiet BPD.

I’m coming from the same situation and I’m tell you right now you’ll end up reliving this over and over and over again until you realize you’re the one who created this situation and you’re the one with your behavior who has to get yourself out. I’m literally telling myself the same thing right now. Things will get better for you I promise.

Google.

It’s often why consuming too much mental health content online is a bad thing in my opinion. Not only are the loudest voices about mental health on the internet often not actual experts, but usually vague symptoms that can apply to a number of things are often ascribed to specific disorders which people then self-diagnose with. Before you know it you have people walking around confused if they have ADHD, ASD, BPD, cPTSD, bipolar, etc etc or even worse claiming they have several or all of these things despite never having actually spoken to a professional. Mental health content is so diluted online with a vagueness that can’t make up for the nuance in every day people’s lives, and the spectrum of symptoms that these disorders manifest in.

Yeah, the video did the same for me... I *think* BPD is more often diagnosed when people exhibit a pattern of behaviors that really harm or sabotage themselves and/or others (Or your relationships with others), alongside the mood swings, depression, and self-esteem issues you might get with just run-of-the-mill bipolar. Per NIMH, these are some of the possible symptoms of BPD: - Efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment, such as plunging headfirst into relationships-or ending them just as quickly. - A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. - A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self. - Impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating. *Please note: If these behaviors happen mostly during times of elevated mood or energy, they may be symptoms of a mood disorder and not borderline personality disorder.* - Self-harming behavior, such as cutting. - Recurring thoughts of suicidal behaviors or threats. - Intense and highly variable moods, with episodes lasting from a few hours to a few days. - Chronic feelings of emptiness. - Inappropriate, intense anger or problems controlling anger. - Feelings of dissociation, such as feeling cut off from oneself, observing oneself from outside one’s body, or feelings of unreality.

❤❤

Sounds more like erotomania.

Death threats?! You need to leave that "friendship" now. No real friend would EVER say things like that. They are NOT your real friend and they are clearly trying to hurt you and take control over you.

@PinkFlamingo33-cm3jg That does not really sound like a healthy friendship. Is there any way you can distance yourself from this person?

Not every sentence involving "die" is a death threat. Maybe your obese and they are trying to encourage you to slim up.

Are you sure they're not saying that you will die if you gain weight? Maybe not true or kind, but I wouldn't call that a death threat.

They are implying that they will kill me if I don’t become thin

Just be yourself. Pretending to be something you're not will land you into trouble later on because you will be promising something you cannot keep. And that is another word for being a liar and fake.

@@ranc1977 Thanks smart person and do girls like it if you play video game or if your clumsy i doubt the last one but THANK YOU

@@TheGreatestAdventurer2007 When your self-image is adequate and one that you can be wholesomely proud of, you feel self-confident. You feel free to "be yourself" and to express yourself. You function at your optimum. Maxwell Maltz

@@ranc1977thankyou for insperation and now all i need to do it be able to talk to her with out stoping when i get there but thank you

This way medical industry can parasite on traumatized people, the easiest people to farm and milk for life.

I hear you, my daughter is bipolar and I'm CPTSD with BPD stemming from that It's a hard road. I understand.

Good idea

shut up, it's not funny@@1unsung971

Don't think you're the only person with something wrong about them, no one is perfect, and you deserve to be loved

GAY

Patreon

By using his butt.

Due to ACoA experience. Someone who's been mentally abused will: - constantly apologize - feeling not enough - hide feelings - hypersensitive to criticism - breakdown during small disagreements - need a lot of assurance - struggle to put guard down

Thanks for always jumping to help :)

@@Psych2go not a problem happy to help

I replied. Yay. Have a goodday and night freind 😇

I work from home, but, yeah, it always surprised me how this channel posts so late at night lol. Sometimes, it’s not a good idea because I don’t want new mental health information that late lol even if I don’t have to watch it

Yes.