I used to love Mitch Hedberg. I still do, but I used to too.

My favorite Steven Wright joke I still use a few times per year. Somebody asks: "Did you sleep well?" I say: "No. I think I made a few mistakes."

My fav Mitch joke is “I have a vest, if I had no arms it would be a jacket” 😂

A Wright joke that stuck with me was “Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you can also put your two cents in? Someone’s making a penny.”

Wright is more obscure and philosophical..Hedburg is just flat out silly and whimsical. Both geniuses!

No battle is necessary. They're both comedic geniuses. : )

"I'm a peripheral visionary. I can see into the future … but only way off to the side." - Steven Wright

Saw Steven live once. It was a great show. He opened by walking out on stage and picked up a guitar. With the spotlight on him, he saw the shine off the guitar move around the audience, and said "that's weird, it didn't do that in the store...". Set the guitar back down, and never touched it again the entire set.

"There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot." Brilliant on so many levels. The fine line is the fishing line, literally.

My favorite Steve Wright joke was, “If you kill a mime, do you need to use a silencer?” My favorite Mitch Hedburg joke was, “I would lay in my twin bed at night and wonder where my brother was.” Both hilarious!

Two of my all time faves. I once met Steven Wright in an airport. I asked him for his autograph. He asked me my name and signed it “To ____ Happy Birthday forever”

“I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. It’s like dude, you have to wait.” -Mitch hedberg

My favorite Steven Wright joke is: “You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...”

one of my fave mitch jokes-- "i have found that a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not i have bread."

"Anywhere is within walking distance... if you have the time." Gotta go with Wright

I always lament all the material we're missing since Mitch's life was so tragically cut short. I really would've loved to see what he gave us next. Rip Mitch thanks for making my early 20s filled with comedy gold, we miss you.

Love both of them. Wish Mitch would have been around longer!!

I love their surreal, deadpan humor. They approach the world in such a skewed way: both even have jokes about gravity in this compilation. Hedberg was an authentically nervous version of his true self on stage, whereas Wright seems more like he's adopted a comic persona. You can see Wright sometimes fighting to not break character by chuckling at his jokes, whereas Hedberg openly laughs at his own material.

Steven Wright leaves everyone else in the dust. He is brilliant, one of a kind.

Every single time I get a receipt, I think "No need to bring ink and paper into this transaction." And every time I'm given a flyer, receipt, or junk mail, I think "Here, YOU throw this away."

Steven Wright will always win in my book for his deadpan, monotone delivery. "One time I...No, that wasn't me." They didn't use this one, it's my all-time Steven Wright favorite line

" The first time I've read the dictionary, I thought it was a poem about everything." This one got me good, it's brilliant

Two of my favorite Steven Wright bits. "When I was a kid we had a quicksand box in our bacckyard. I was an only child. Eventually." "The other day I got on the bus and sat next to a blonde chinese girl. She was crying so I asked her what was wrong. She said I have a problem and my therpist can't help me. I said maybe I can help, what's the problem? She said I'm a nymphomaniac but I am only attracted to jewish cowboys. By the way my name is Karen. I said hi Karen my name is Bucky Goldstien."

You can't please all the people, all of the time; and last night all of those people came to my show... Just brilliant.

*_Great video! BTW, this is my favorite Mitch Hedberg one-liner:_* *"Often, people will show you a photo of themselves & say, 'This is me when I was younger.'. EVERY photo you see of someone is when they were younger."* _It's such a simple statement... yet it's also brilliant & funny. RIP Mitch Hedberg. You're irreplaceable, sir._

Steven and Mitch: Two of the greatest ever to pick up a mic. I was so fortunate to see Mitch in concert just a few months before his untimely passing. Favorite Steven joke: I wrote a song, but I can’t read music, so I don’t know what it is. Every once in a while I’ll be listening to the radio and I say, “I think I might have written that.” Favorite Mitch joke: I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait."

I could never choose 1 over the other, I am thankful for both of them....great comedians

Favorite Wright joke: “I put instant coffee in the microwave…I went back in time”.

Seen all of these multiple times never get tired of them. Putting the two guys together like this really works. Nothing but laughs.

"There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot" - Steven Wright. Brilliant

I never thought to juxtapose these two together like this! Whoever came up with the idea for this video should get a lot of credit. Awesome, both comedians.🤣

Steven Wright is the master…he invented this type of humor.

two of my absolute favorite comedians. .. life was way too short for Mitch. not enough ppl even know about his genius.

Steven Wright's delivery and writing is amazing

One of my favorites was missing. "I lived in an apartment, I used to like to play my music real loud, my neighbor did not like that I did this, so he would bang on the wall, so I would turn down my music and yell, go around, there might be a door on your side but it is just a wall over here..." Mitch Hedberg

Mitch's Strategic Grill Locations is one of comedy's all time treasures.

I’ve been a long time Steven Wright fan but some of Mitch’s jokes are hilarious in their silliness. The broken escalator one, and raising money to buy a machine that shows how much money has been raised, for example.

Yes, Steven did the delivery first, but they were both equally great. Even Wright says he loved Hedberg.

Steven Wright. One of the funniest and most under rated comics. I have always loved his work.

Steven Wrights jokes always next level, you can even hear when the audience retells the joke in their head real fast then start laughing. The “large seashell collection scattered along all the oceans.”

Two of the greatest ever. RIP Mitch, you left us far too soon.

"i bought some batteries. ..... But they weren't included ....."

One of the great things about Mitch was his behavior outside of the one-liners. His laughter--at his own joke--was infectious, and sometimes drew more laughs (of delight) from the audience than the joke itself. He would plead with the audience to like him more, and then show gratitude when they responded. He was magic.

I still miss Mitch! Saw him shortly before he was lost to us, I will treasure that great time with an audience that appreciated him like I did. It was like hanging out with friends. 💞

I had the luck to catch Mitch 3 weeks before he left. Met him back stage. Silly man.

Steven wright is fantastic but I think it’s not about one joke with him, it’s about the trippy deadpan experience of mind expanding jokes that just keep coming. There’s a building momentum with Wright.

Two of my all time favorite comedians. Absolute geniuses of comedy.

Steve is a legend! Awesome one liners.

😂🤣🤣 So ironically I just finished watching Half Baked and now as I’m watching this I just realized that Steven Wright was “The Guy”. 😂🤣

two of the most brilliant minds in comedy ever to exist.

I loved Mitch in that 70's show "I did not lose a leg in Vietnam for this" Eric but you have both legs Mitch "That's what I said I did not lose a leg in Vietnam "

My 2 favorite comedians of all time. I may have an aneurysm!😂😂😂😂😂

These two are legends!

My favorite Steven Wright joke was... "I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He used a dotted line."

"I bought a decaffeinated coffee table. It looks just the same you wouldn't tell the difference." - Steven Wright

The first time I read the dictionary I thought it was a poem about everything

Choosing between these two would be like choosing between a Picasso and a Pollack. Both were artists at the top of their game, and I love them both.

It's not a contest, they are so different in the tone they bring, thank goodness for both of these craftsmen.

This was masterfully executed. Thank you dear editor.

They look like they could each play their own different version of Steve Jobs.

Best Steven Wright line… “I bought a cordless extension cord“

Wright and his deadpan touch was perfect.

LEGENDS THAT HELPED FORM MY SENSE OF HUMOR……. Thanks gentlemen, it’s coming in handy these days….😂🤣😏🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

"I feel like people handing out flyers are just saying 'here,you throw this away '" -Mitch Hedberg

I grew up listening to Steven Wright, laughing at times, till I cried. Listening to Mitch Hedburg, I sometimes cry until I can’t breathe. These guys are a danger to my health.

Stephen Wright made me laugh so hard my drink was coming out of my nose. I lost my car keys. That’s when you get your apartment started and drive around the block

Oh god, thanks for this edit. These two are my all time favorites.

My favorite/most quoted lines from each of these guys is most definitely the "I used to do drugs...I still do...but I used to too" from Mitch and, "I sprayed some spot remover on my dog the other day and he disappeared" from Steven....with close runners up being the sock thickness, and the hippopotamus 😜🤘

There guys are both a riot. Saw Mitch live he was awesome.

Two of the greatest Delivery guys to ever make folks laugh. Epic.

2 of my absolute favorites thank you for putting this together

There is no battle, both are absolute masters of the craft.

These two are/were absolute artisans at this particular style, and what's great is that if you were to listen to the album of one, you do not more or less get the same experience as you would listening to the other. Hedberg's was far more fun, like something you could tell at a party to make quick friends, whereas Wright's style is far more cerebral and abstract. The biggest difference ultimately would be when they do self-effacing humor - Hedberg made himself out as an underdog during those times (like he was bombing at another show), whereas Wright made himself sound like an alien who attempted to interact with human beings slightly before it was ready.

This is the comedy we need.

When the rice joke is so good it has to be in here twice.

If Mitch was still around it would be amazing to see these two do each other's material in their style.

Two absolutely brilliant comics. Love them both. Wish Mitch was still here. Thanks for the video.

Couple of GOATs right here.

I love their style. Two of my all-time favorites.

MITCH!!!

These 2 would be so damn awesome in modern meme culture.

Mitch hedburg you were a gift thanks for all the laughs...rip...

Mitch's observations on escalators and golf are flipping brilliant! 😂

What a party to be in same room with Steven Wright, Gary Larson, Bill Watterson, and Mitch at the same time. Comedic overload.

This is perfect! These are the two names that come to mind when I hear the term " one liners"! Thanks for putting this dream team together, sort of. 😊

Steven Wright was the first of his kind and the best. Love his way of thinking.

I do really like both of them a lot, but seeing them side by side really shows how next-level Hedberg was.

Steven Wright any day. What a legend.

These two guys are hands down my favorite comedians. Awesome video ❤

Mitchs' Hippopotamus joke still breaks me up!

My favorite Steven Wright was “I have a map of the United States,it’s actual size” 😂

My two favorite Wright jokes are the one about everything in his apartment being replaced with an exact replicable and the seashell collection. Two collections of verbal statements that evoke whole surreal worlds. Absolutely evocative.

This is such a great compilation Thanks!! two geniuses 😂

classic Steve Wright hands down the best, timing is everything

Two of my favorite comics. Some similarities but also differences. This was a treat. Thank you.

"I put instant coffee in the microwave...and went back in time." 🤣

My 2 favorite comedians. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing wright a couple times live.

Mitch was such a rock star. He was a beautiful man. That demon had him so hard, what a tragedy. Steven Wright will forever be one of my favorites

These two deserve awards for funny stuff.

It's really funny to listen to these legends and how their comedy/mannerisms and even...jokes...have trickled down to Comedians today. I can hear a lot of Tom Segura, Chris D'Elia, Bert and even Rogan in there. Absolute pioneers.