It's crazy, the way they think they're the experts & authority on everything we do, too. Their control issues & obsession with power is ridiculous. I hope things are a bit better for you these days xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Thank you. I agree. Things are better now that I learned about narcissist and how they are just carbon copy’s . My whole family are a bunch of narcissist.😬

Aww thank you! That means so much. The improvement in my self esteem & confidence in just a few months has been amazing. Chronic physical things like migraines, IBS & insomnia have vanished & I no longer wake up thinking 'oh god, not another day of this BS. Thank you so much for your support. I hope things are going good for you too xx

Good for you telling them where to shove their 'help' (which was probably a huge trap to control you). Anyone who achieves any level of success is a massive threat to the narc as it disproves their delusion that they're superior. It was a huge 'OMG' moment for me when I realised that my mother sabotaged me, simply because of envy. She did nothing with her life, marrying the first schmuck who'd have her. It's so gross. Well done for escaping & I hope you continue to thrive & recover xx

I'm sorry to hear. Mine made sure I couldn't get emancipated. I'm still not sure how she pulled it off. I'm guessing connections with corrupt CPS. God bless

That's terrible, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I see my dad as an emotionless robot - it's crazy how unbothered he is about his own child, but I guess 50yrs married to my mum has done a number on him, so he's learned to be nihilistic & cruel from her. I'm glad you got out & are so far along in your recovery. Keep on healing & living your best life xx

​@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578My dad beat the crap outta my mom in return. And me. And my brother. And the poor dog. I do not condone violence tho. They parted ways and then she married a corrections officer who treated me & sometimes my brother worse than his inmates. It was terrible. Plus my own brother ain't wrapped too tight and tried to kill me. My dad is the ONLY one who ever sincerely apologized. More than three times. He is the only one who has really apologized and meant it. He said he had a hard life after my mom and us left after he went to prison. I guess all of that anger and rage within him made him have those 7 heart attacks!! He got the first one in prison while he was in the Fed pen for counterfeiting money amongst several other crimes. Brother been to jail too many times to count...AND Jackson prison in Michigan. The worst oldest prison which had been shut down sometime after my brother got out. I TRIED to be the nice sister and gave him a place to live! And then he tries to kill me after I tell him to get the hell out after kicking and punching holes in my walls and yelling at me and calling me a whore. This family IS INSANE!! I tell ya what!!!! Lol

Wow, you've done an amazing thing, protecting yourself & standing up to toxic bullies, well done. Please make sure that you're safe - they sound incredibly unstable & I worry they'll retaliate in some way. Make sure to get support from any services in your area that deal with abuse survivors. This website is British, but they have great universal advice on what to do when you escape. Please look after yourself xx www.refuge.org.uk/get-help-now/

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 the cops gave me a victim services card so I do have options now so thank you. I have a lot of things to sort now

Well done Josh. Love from Australia 🇦🇺

Oh bless you, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I often joke that I'd hold up great under interrogation or psychological torture, as I've already had decades of training. Any regular person on the street would go completely insane within 24hrs if they were locked in a room with my parents, I swear. Everyone has 'eff this, I'm out' moment with narcs, ours was just involuntary as our brains made the decision for us. I hope things are a bit better for you these days xx

U dont have that disease. U are healthy.

Thank you so much! Yep, I always held out hope that they would change, but they just got progressively worse with time. You would think that narcs would look at the long trail of broken relationships & think 'hmm, I'm the common denominator here', but of course they don't do self reflection and insight. I hope you're recovering well from your narcs xx

You're so welcome! Yep, it's crazy that even as tiny children, us scapegoats were the only real 'adults' in our families! I hope things are going good for you xx

Wow thank you! I'm so glad you found it helpful, that means so much as that's my mission with this channel - help fellow scapegoats rise up & escape. I hope you're coping well with the narcs in your life xx

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. Narcs are useless in a crisis, as the focus isn't on them. It's sick. Realising I was never the problem was a huge 'woah' moment for me & also learning that the chronic sadness, anxiety, guilt & shame I felt wasn't mine - it was theirs & they'd dumped it onto me, because they didn't have the guts to handle it. I'm glad you got out & I hope you continue to thrive & heal xx

Oh wow, thank you! This means the world to me & I'm so glad I can help you. Narc families are everywhere, in plain sight, looking like the Brady Bunch in public, but like the depths of hell behind closed doors & nobody believes us when we try to speak out. The more channels & groups there are about this kind of abuse, the more scapegoats there'll be waking up & fighting back. The internet is often terrible, but can also be a live saver - it certainly was for me. Thank you again & I hope you're coping ok with the narcs in your life xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 I have felt so triggered my heart is racing... I'm so sorry for what we, and so many people have been through, and those who are being abused and don't know it that I feel sick. That gives me the idea how bad I am although, I have been through some healing but still have a lot ahead if this can ever get easier for me. It gives me hope but please, consider advising possible triggers. It never happened to me this bad 😞. I guess I have felt too much related to me. OOOXXX

Well, I know what you mean. I also noticed that some people cannot imagine that a family can actually be like that. Like the Britney Spears case. Some people commented that there must have been some reason why her family did that to her. But, the truth is, they drive US crazy, not that we already were crazy. And then they exploit that. At least, that's what happened to me.

Aww thank you very much! I hope you're coping well with the narcs in your life xx

Thank you so much for such a lovely & kind comment! I'm so sorry you went through the nightmare of being raised in a narc family. It's maddening that without fail, every scapegoat I 'meet' seems to be the type of person I'd have been best friends with at school, as they're all so kind, sweet, funny & bright. Well, we're all discovering each other now & it's amazing how fast the community is growing. Hope you keep on thriving and recovering from your narcs xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 We all went to the same school, so to speak, or cult I think we are smart because we've spent a lot of effort to see the truth about what happened to us through the fog of our childhood memories. ♥️

OMG that's awful, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Narc parents sure do love their minimising & gaslighting, don't they. I'm glad I can help & I hope that things are a bit better for you these days xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 aw thank you that’s very kind of you 🥰 Yes it’s getting better.. very slowly but surely. I hope it’s getting better for you too 🙏 keep up the great work! Xxx

Oh bless you, huge hugs back. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Narcs are completely useless whenever there's a crisis that 'steals focus' from them. I had a relative who was visiting her very ill husband AND daughter in the hospital & naturally, the stress of it all became so great, that she collapsed - luckily, she was in the right place. My mother's reaction? 'well I've been ill too, but nobody cares about that!'. The cow had the sniffles. It's borderline comedy, I swear. I'm hoping I get enough subscribers to be able to get a community tab added to this channel, so we can have a bit more space to chat & support each other. Should be any day now, as I had no idea this video would get so many views! Thank you again & I hope your recovery is going well xx

Aww thank you, big virtual hug to you. It's crazy how similar everyone's experiences are. Narcs are a lot of things, but original is not one of them, so it makes sense. They all read the same handbook, so have all the same patterns, manipulation tricks & behaviours, so we suffer the same outcomes of their actions. I hope things are a bit better for you these days xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 agreed, they are so totally UNpredictable in a most predictable way. the trick is they do stuff so bad which you dismiss as can not possibly be likely or true, and the shock when they do it makes it feel like they are the only people who could come to such conclusions or decisions - but when we step back it is hard not to notice, oh yes - another complete stranger just described my unique experience. love and healing to all. x

Thank you so much! I've made it my mission to raise awareness of scapegoating & hopefully help people reclaim their lives. I hope you're managing ok with the narcs in your life xx

Oh no, that's so awful, I'm so sorry that happened. What absolute monsters. Karma will bite them on the bum, but it's still nothing near justice for that abuse. I hope in time you can heal and recover from such unimaginable evil xx

That's ridiculous behaviour from your mother! I'm so sorry you had to go through all that, especially having it manifest physically. It's very common for kids-of-narcs to develop chronic illness, something particularly cruel given narcs could not care less about us when we're sick - heaven forbid someone else 'steals focus' from them! It must be a huge relief now she's gone, but closure is something you need to create for yourself. There's never any deathbed moments of clarity/heartfelt apologies with narcs. I hope you continue to recover as more & more time passes xx

Aww thank you! Yep, journaling is a godsend - I had tons of notes on my phone & decided to use them to create this channel. The most valuable one is my 'goodbye letter'/list of the worst betrayals & incidents, etc to the narcs, that I'll never send. It's my reality check, should I have a moment of weakness & think about contacting them. Well done on escaping - I hope you continue to thrive & leave your narcs to wallow in the mess they made for themselves xx

:-) for reality check,.I. do the same. Growth and success to your n channel . coz survivors can really share their experience only here, on such channels. Wish you be blessed, happy and healthy.

Aww thank you. I hope you're doing well these days xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 I believe Im thriving within my own limits. This happened about 20 years ago so with time I was able to put more pieces in the right places. This is a bit controversial view but I do believe a big part of my healing lies in not letting go of relationship with dad. Tolerating him, yes. Protecting myself yes. Although I do struggle with forgiveness and resentments , it takes me a while. Cheers Marek

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Im not sure if your pinned comment is directed at me. if it is then I apologize if my reply came across as a judgmental. My intentions were good. Some things I m not even aware in what Im saying. Parents didnt listen to me a lot throughtout my l;ife . Only by reply I can understand that I can hurt people. In sharing my experience about Jesus I only said that it helped me. Maybe you were writing this to anothre peron . Not sure. Anyway I wish you good on your journey! Cheers Marek

I don't think she meant you, you didn't tell people all the need is God you just said it helps you. Also she put a nice reply to your original comment. Bless you@@Marekcatholic

Oh bless you, I'm so sorry you went through this too. Thank you so much for your kind words - I'm so glad I'm able to help people with this channel, that's my whole mission. I had no idea it would grow so fast, which is awesome, but also really sad, knowing so many scapegoats are out there. I hope you're recovering from what you went through and things are brighter for you these days xx

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but well done on fighting back! These losers don't realise that we are individual human beings, merely seeing us as extensions of them & their property. They don't realise that remarks like 'you're not my child' or 'why can't you be more like us' are huge compliments - no, we're nothing like the narcs, and that's a good thing! I hope you continue to recover & thrive xx

You're so kind, thank you so much! I'm so sorry you went through that with your mother - what a sick, twisted creature. I'm so glad I can help with my little channel - my mission is to speak out & try to reach people who are in the place I was when I was at my lowest. Validation is such a powerful thing, especially with abuse that intentionally has us confused & questioning reality. Thank you so much for your lovely comment & I hope that you're recovering well from that monster xx

Aww yay! Thank you so much! Hope all's going well for you xx

100%. Being born into a narc family is like being born into a cult - narc mothers literally make a (they hope) automatic cult member by getting knocked up. We get singled out, because we're the one in the cult to question the leader, seeing the BS from a really young age. Being rejected by a narc family basically says 'you're too difficult to control & you're a threat to this entire scam!', which is fine by me! I hope things are going well with you xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Scary isn't it. You're an emotional land fill.

Thank you so much. I'm much better thanks & it's still early days in the recovery process, so I look forward to when I hit a few years no contact. I hope you're continuing to recover well xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 I'm quite stuck in the process but still trying. Hoping the best for all who had a crappy childhood. Take care 😘

Aww thank you! Don't you go minimising your experience with your narcs! That's the narc programming, telling you 'others have had it worse', 'you're being dramatic', etc. The abuse you went through was catastrophic to YOU & there's no such thing as 'minor' or 'mild' psychological abuse - it's all pure evil. You matter & your experiences matter. I hope things are better for you these days xx

Yep - I feel pity for them on some level, to be so devoid of any ability to feel anything even bordering on empathy & love. It must be such a miserable way to live. I hope you're doing ok xx

Soto zen can help you to overcome the emotional dependence.

You're so right. I've accepted that I've been smear campaigned my whole life, but as narcs get older, their circle of influence becomes smaller & smaller, so it's quite comical that they continue to do it when they only have a handful of people who still listen to them. Hope you're having a great day xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Thank you, you are very kind.

That's so awful, I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, they sound like truly evil, morally bankrupt people. You & your son come first & deserve to have happy lives. I really hope you find a way to escape. Start by making a plan of action - I've found that even just the act of doing that can be a huge help, as it's the first step in taking back control. Your family has proven themselves to be toxic degenerates & there's no cure for that kind of thing. Lots of love to you & your boy & I hope you both find a way to recover with time xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 thank you 🙏♥

You're so welcome! I hope you're coping ok with the narcs in your life xx

Aww thank you. Yep, it was a very weird part of my life, but in hindsight, it set me on the path to freedom. My brain had just had enough of the BS & essentially forced my hand! I hope you're coping ok with your narcs xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 It’s really tough at the moment. No contact is a new thing and alien to me. I’m ruminating, rage full, questioning and every emotion you talk about in your videos. So you are a real source of reassurance and calm for me during these times. My therapist put me on the narc road and no contact, we knew things weren’t right with mum but just made excuses for her age, losing her husband etc but in reality she’s a toxic narc with a golden child son and me. So I am really feeling alone as no one else sees it. Your community is my sanctuary when things get crazy in my head. X

Thankyou so much! I'm so sorry you were treated that way, but like mine, your narcs failed to completely destroy you. Scapegoats have a habit of being resilient & triumphing over adversity, so we win in the end. I hope you're doing better these days xx

You're so welcome & I'm so sorry your narcs impacted your mental health so badly. All the best to you too & I hope you continue to recover from your experiences xx

You're absolutely right. It's like having the life drained out of you, slowly. It speaks volumes that narcs age terribly - all that hate & venom coursing through their veins, not to mention their poor choices with things like over indulging in alcohol, etc. Going no contact has felt like a detox in a way, getting all the poison out of my system. I hope you continue to recover from your narcs xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Thank you!...wish you a good recovery, too...it's amazing what no contact does for ones' mental and physical health!

You're so welcome! I'm so sorry you went through similar, but here you are now, hopefully recovering & thriving. You're stronger than they could ever hope to be & they failed in crushing you xx

good lord this sounds like my mother, ruined several birthdays and sat there smirking at me when I was trying to tell her how horrible she was being.

Aww thank you! I hope you're coping ok with the narcs in your life xx

Aww thank you, that's really kind of you. Ugh, narcs & their superficial materialism. It's because they're so empty & nothing makes them happy. Even if they buy a shiny trinket, it's like a baby at Christmas opening a gift, being thrilled for 5 seconds, then looking for the next one. I can be genuinely thrilled by a £2 packet of nice pencils for my drawing & I'm so happy that I'm capable of being content with my 'poor people' life. We don't need all the showy nonsense that the narcs desperately accumulate & a big part of why they hate us is because of this. They can't comprehend that we don't want anything beyond a roof over our heads & enough to eat & keep warm. I hope you're able to recover from those awful people with time xx

Aww thank you, you're so welcome! I'm sorry you & your son are going through this, but it's good that you're there to support him. If your narcs continue to harrass you, keep anything they send eg, abusive texts, emails, letters, etc & consider using those as grounds for a restraining order. Don't reply or respond to anything, as that's what they're after - keep any communication at your end cold, formal & via a third party like a lawyer, if possible. I hope you guys are able to recover xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Yes! That's right.💖

I'm so sorry you're going through such an awful time in your life. As scapegoats, we were intentionally conditioned & isolated by our parents. Partly, this was to prevent external influence on us that might tip us off that our family is toxic & partly so the narcs have us all to themselves in old age As adults, we therefore tend to be very lonely individuals, with trust issues, so we don't get close to people & end up still isolated. This was definitely true for me I moved around a lot after leaving home, always hoping the next move would find me somewhere I'd be happy, but it never worked Once I started trauma therapy to deal with my CPTSD, I found the confidence to let down my walls & start to let people in. I met local Facebook friends in real life & I joined a local ladies group, where we meet once a month for coffee & a chat. It's a gradual process, but I'm no longer constantly paranoid, thinking that if people in the street are laughing, they must be laughing at me - I was so glad to let that particular worry go! It takes time & I'm sure days will get brighter for you, the further you get into recovery. Don't let the narcs win. Build your self esteem up. Are there any coping mechanisms you use which might be bad for you eg, smoking, drinking too much, eating too much or too little? For me, quitting alcohol was a game changer & helped massively with my mood. Something as simple as sitting in a park, breathing in fresh air does wonders. I absolutely love drawing & colouring books for grown ups - they let you zone out, as all you're thinking about is the picture you're working on. Explore hobbies you've always fancied doing or read the books you never got round to reading. You have to start putting yourself first & stop denying yourself nice things that you absolutely deserve. You'll get there, I promise xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 thank you very much for your reply. It has helped a lot. Its so weird some words from the other side of the world can help you ease your pain. Thanks again 🥰

I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but well done for fighting back & reclaiming your life! It's not your fault that your husband was like your dad. We were conditioned into believing love is supposed to be cruel, plus we had our self esteem shattered, so we're at high risk of being targeted by narcs in all areas of life. I had a narc flatmate & a narc work colleague at the same point in my life & the combo of three lots of abuse ended up with an ED relapse. I can see narc red flags a mile off these days & I hope you're the same. There's a book called 'Becoming the Narcissist's Worst Nightmare' which I highly recommend. I hope you continue to recover & thrive xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Thank you.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️

Thank you :) I hope things are going well for you xx

It's totally what it feels like, lol! We outmatured our parents before we could walk, I swear. Hope you're having a great day xx

You're so right. I often say that if my parents had therapy before having kids, things would have worked out differently, but deep down I know that therapy would have done absolutely nothing to change them. I'm actually somewhat grateful to have been the scapegoat & not the golden child, as my brother has turned into a clone of my dad & it's so gross! I hope things are going well for you xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Thank you ,yes , we live in a duality world .We see all badness and wrongness "Out there " when we need to turn our attention inwards and to ourselves . When we acknowledge and embrace the narcissist within ourselves , then narcissists outsides of ourselves will no longer feature in our lives .We must stop blaming and start healing ourselves .We must be brave and face our inner reality .

You see ,your parents ,no matter how abusive you think they are ,they were victims of their parents and their parents were victims of their parents . Look into your parents history and the history of their times and you will feel for their suffering ,understand them and forgive them .It is only through forgiving that you will heal .When do you know you have healed ? You know you have healed from experiencing your parents ways when you no longer have strong emotional feelings of anger ,blame ,fear and hatred when your parents are mentioned .When you truly forgive ,you will be free ,at peace and joyful dear sister .You have the power to do this .

That's awful, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I think a lot of us block out our childhoods, as our brain tries to protect us in some way. Something weird that happened as time progressed no contact, was suddenly having lots of these suppressed memories start popping up. If anything, they've helped as it's almost like my brain is presenting me with evidence that I've done the right thing. I hope things are a bit better for you these days xx

@@raisedbytoddlerssurvivingn8578 Thanks, so nice to talk with someone who "knows"😀

Lots of love back! I've always wanted to go to Oz, mainly because I've been a Silverchair superfan since my teens! I hope things are going good for you these days xx

Very well put. A game changer for me was realising that I never really loved them. I loved the fake, rare 'nice mum & dad' masks they put on in love bombing campaigns, not their core beings. I looked at it like a job, as that's what being the scapegoat can feel like. If this was a job, I'd have resigned within a week! I found myself working at a designer fashion brand's head office - amazing opportunity, great money, free clothes - but my boss was like my mother on steroids & I lasted a month before handing in my notice I always got on so much better with male bosses & colleagues & found myself gravitating towards male dominated industries, where I'd often be the only girl in the office I hope you manage to recover from your narcs

That's awful, I'm so sorry that happened to you. It's scary that your mother had that amount of power - it seems a common thing for narc mothers to gravitate towards the medical field. Probably a gross control-over-lives thing. I'm glad you finally got a corrected diagnosis & I hope things are a little better for you these days xx

Yeah, here the same. I dont know how my mom did it, but she had all the family convinced I am the weirdo one. I am 100% sure she made my dad commit suicide. Its crazy, crazy making. I am trying to escape here but my mind plays tricks on me (perhaps I am wrong, she is old now and needs help, how can I be so cruel of abandoning her...) I am single, no children, no men and no friends. All due to her abuse in my brain...Its difficult for me now to escape this trap...Its being the hardest job of my life...

sounds a bit like my experience. The mental health profs all sided with mummy dear

Yay! Thanks for subscribing! It's awesome how fast the narc-awareness KZfaq community is growing. I think the creation of KZfaq is probably the worst thing to happen to narcs, as scapegoats are educating themselves & survivors of narcs in general are no longer falling for the manipulation & nonsense. I hope you're having a great day xx