When I was a kid, ALL the boys carried pocket knives, and NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED because of the knives. The worst was the carving of initials in desks.

Story 4: That teacher was impressive to keep confiscated items for that long and know where it was years after the original promised return date.

Is nobody talking about how the teacher fully intended to keep an 8 year old’s cards for at least 3 YEARS? Extreme much. My parents would have rioted if that happened to me or my classmates!

Still salty about this one: back in 6/7th grade I went out hunting partridge with my dad. He let me shoot his .22 and then i grabbed the shells off the ground just so i wasn't littering and such. I stuck them in the same hoodie that i wore to school the following monday. at recess i pulled them out of my pocket because i had forgotten they were in there, promptly sent to the principal, she threw them away and i got scolded even though they were completely empty spent shells.

My freshman year of high school, an English teacher confiscated a book I brought titled "F*ck" (it wasn't even the full word, it had the 'U' covered up with fake white-out). I tried to explain to the teacher that the book was about the power of words, and how things like cuss words only have the power we choose to give them; how there is nothing inherently inflammatory about any particular arrangement of letters. The irony of her confiscating the book anyways was not lost on me (though it seemed to be lost on her)

A vape from a 6 year old who found it down the couch at home (older sibling hiding it from parents) and thought it was a bubblegum scented air freshener and was passing it around the class for everyone to sniff. The other week, a "bracelet" was confiscated from a 9 year old. It was a piece of tape studded with tape thumbtacks to use as a weapon against anyone she deemed annoying or stupid.

When I was in 4th grade, my friend carried a moldy lunch in a Tupperware container around the playground at recess. He waved it in random kids' faces while saying "behold the mold." Eventually, a teacher saw him doing that and confiscated it.

When I was younger we just scooped bees out of trash cans with chip bags for the hell of it, no objectives beyond "put bee in bag".

Someone brought a hedgehog to my little sister’s middle school

So, I am a teacher. I believe this year, a student brought a cattle prod, or something to that effect. At our staff holiday party every year, they give away the confiscated items as joke gifts. Lots of vapes. Lighters. Sometimes pocket knives. Shirts with very inappropriate anime girls on them. The cattle prod was not there, sadly. There was, however, a kazoo.

When i was in 6th or 7th grade (about 11-12 yrs old) we had a teacher confiscate a vibrator that some girl bought into school lmao. Not one of those little discreet ones you can stick in a pocket either-- it was big and purple and she brought it in a grocery store bag

Although it's terrible to hear about the kid and the lighter, I hope that the mother got a good kick back to Reality from the incident so it doesn't happen again...

Story 20: That “friend” that told the gym teacher is such a POS.

When cooking you have many different things cooking at once, all of which need attention at various times. So each one gets it's own timer.

I got a good laugh out of the "let's go home device"

47:40 What kind of an idiot lets their kid play with mercury, especially a BUCKET OF IT

as a type one diabetic i gasped out loud at the diabetic story what the hell

If you're cooking more than 1 thing at once you need multiple tikers

Oh my god I DIED at the "lucky rabbit's foot" one XD

39:45 take a mask's string, hold the ends, and rub it back and forth over something really fast. source: was in a high school class full of troublemakers

I’m glad to hear that the kid in story 52 was able to get the encouragement to help him make good use of his talents. Too often we hear it going in the opposite direction where the kids are treated as misfits and potentially dangerous in some cases, which just destroys any bright future they may have had.

Two liter bottle of Canada Dry. Full of piss. This student was in a class where it’s split by lunch. On returning from lunch, he’s keeping a really straight face. Very out of character. He slides into the chair, makes eye contact, and plants the Canada Dry on his desk. He tells me how he collected his urine at a friend’s house and just found it again. The color was so dark, sediments at the bottom. Just gross. He did try to wrestle it from me as it was confiscated. Luckily this story doesn’t have a messy ending. Later in the day he walks in, so proudly. He’d made me a pin, which I wore on my bag for years. It stated the date and “Never forget”, with an image of Canada Dry. I was so impressed with how quickly he designed and made it.

My kid made one of those crossbows and it was amazing. He’s in his 20s now. Don’t think he builds things like that anymore.

When I was in twelfth grade I had a teacher confiscate my container of saxophone reeds because she thought the were some kind of drug paraphernalia. She refused to believe that they were saxophone reeds because "you play flute in band what do you need reeds for," and trying to tell her that I played saxophone for the school's jazz band got me threatened with in-school suspension. I had to get the head of the school to get them back for me because I had roughly $40 worth of reeds in that container (which was like 6 reeds) and couldn't afford to buy more at that time. The teacher did get reprimanded.

Story 44: my elementary school did the what’s in the sack poem for show and tell. And when the description “Darling Little Farm Boy” came up, it reminded me of myself. That may have been me, but I don’t remember much of my elementary school years. I have no clue, however.

Baker here : we usually have several timers at work, and it's always not enough. Remember that in a kitchen, you're not cooking just one meal, but enough meals for a commercial amount of people. In a bakery, at any given time, there's things in the oven, bread dough rising, bread dough resting and needing to be "folded" at certain times, stuff you might want to take out of the fridge or freezer at a specific time (so it can rise in time for the after-work bread-buying rush here, for example), etc. I usually keep track of a lot of things in my head, but ringing timers do help. It's also helpful when your shift is over and the next baker has to keep track of it all. I suppose in kitchens it would be the same, with a lof ot meals and foods being cooked all at once.

Stories like this are why I make sure to give proper respect to any teachers I meet. Especially teachers who work with young or special education kids. Even parents are pretty impressive, to be honest. Those people have skills I can't even dream of mastering.

39:45 apparenetly the strings of the masks make pretty good saws... yeah i mean i never wouldve thought tbh, never tried it myself

the bees made me laugh so hard

One OP: Gets her manga confiscated for a graphic scene. Me: Teachers buy me a volume of Fullmetal Alchemist for drinking a glass of green juice. (The volume where Sloth is fighting on the Promised Day.)

18:00 I grew up with an insulin pump as a diabetic. The chill factor of this kid is that most insulin pumps have to be replaced every 3ish days. I've had many get ripped out due to door handles. That small tube goes from the pump in your pocket to your belly. It still sucks and you typically need to get insulin within the next hour or two or you're going to have a rough day or two from blood sugars. That absolutely does not take away from how wrong that teacher was. All this to say, is that it is a relatively small price to pay if it gets rid of a really bad teacher.

The kid in the first story is a menace. I respect the prank so much.

That fisrt kid was WILD, but yea, they need those timers to keep in track of multiple dishes at the same time, when you boil soup water you also gotta have another dish cooking etc, that's why pro chefs always use more than one timer

The Halo story reminded me of how I ran a Minecraft SMP on my school's network but I thought ahead about the tech guys being able to revamp the network. During a school rally for the basketball team I snuck into the server room and hid a Lenovo laptop behind the server racks and plugged it in. That laptop was the host of the server. My little sister is a freshman there now and it's still operational and since none of the staff could figure out how to shut it down, the whole school gets to enjoy Minecraft

For Story 34, bringing a hunting rifle to school was once pretty *normal.* So were school clubs involving firearms. Paradoxically, school shootings *weren't* as common.

My mother and her friend, in a Home-Ec class, once made pot brownies for a project.... They got an A.

Pretty phalic/ test tube shaped. 😅 The protein shot tastes pretty good, has a texture like unset jello and they're really convenient to carry in a backpack.

The one about butts was funny. If I was the teacher, I would have laughed then drew my own version before trashing the paper.

In 7th grade I went to a small private religious school. Our teacher taught Earth Science and would teach the 6,7,and 8th graders for different periods. After lunch, one of my classmates had noticed one of the 8th graders had left his school binder behind and held it up for the class to see. The teacher asked who it was and in the process of opening up the binder, a Playboy magazine fell out. Without missing a beat, the girl read the name in the binder. The class roared with laughter as we all knew who it was. The teacher gave a nervous chuckle and took it from her. He called down to the principal and reported it. A short time later, she came up to the class and retrieved the binder and Playboy. I had to use the bathroom later, so I saw the aftermath of the principal walking across the courtyard with the boy behind him with his head hung low.

The best is when your 4th graders think they're getting by with something on their Chromebook but you have the monitoring system running and you turn off their internet access. They look around wide-eyed and clueless, then start pounding on the keyboard. When they finally look at me, I just smile and shrug. They forget that closing the tab does nothing because the system records screen history.

When i was in 7th or 8th grade i caught a small black widow spider and locked it into an empty label free prescription bottle. The next day i took it to school so i could show other kids what it was and how to recognize it. Now another thing that matters is i have bipolar and was on an IEP. I got insanely lucky that my biology teacher caught me showing it off and confiscated it. A LOT of other teachers would have tried to expel me instantly. Instead my teacher talked to me alone and explained that while my heart was in the right place that was way to dangerous to bring. Also this happened about a year after 9/11. It didnt actually hit me til my mid 20s just how bad a spot i had put myself in.

The Jiffy Punch is so mean. The idea of someone racing to you with a handful of whatever it is that you are allergic to is horrifying and kind of funny. Glad the people involved in that story were OK.

Black widow spiders, anyone? I caught a 7th grader playing with them by his locker, letting them run all over his hands!!! I about had a heart attack, asked what on earth he was doing, and said he could get bitten horribly! His reply? “Oh, I do this all the time. They never bite me!” This kid would also rescue small animals and try to leave them in his locker until after school. The animals would always let him. I think some people actually have a Dr. Dolittle gene, and if that kid didn’t become a veterinarian, I’ll be very disappointed!

chefs need to prepare lots of dishes at the same time, so they need lots of timers

On the halo story I know with 90% certainty that it was prob the IT guys just feeding the school the game

Tell us the vodka story from 9:34 please!

Daycare worker here, I had a baby's diaper bag smell so strongly of pot we had to put it outside for the day. This was about 2 decades before anything was legal anywhere. There had been joints and baggies in the parking lot as well. I also found out, after the fact, we've had parents drinking during field trips (they were not driving, a second adult was with those families but really, the zoo and the pumpkin patch?) These are the parents you'll have in a few years.

I had a teacher who during his first year teaching, two students started doing WEED IN CLASS

All the cooking savvy people I know have multiple timers for different things, some even have them labeled for specific uses, This one's for boiling things, this one's for frying things, this one's for baking things ETC.

Meh, i brought A lawn mower blade to school and it was taken up, it’s still there a couple blocks from me

This is amazing. Hilarious, and as always you put so much life and emphasis into the stories that it's a thrill to listen to. I think you said you're a drama student and voice actor or something in one of the videos? It definitely shows.

19:10 WHAT A FUCKING CHAD, I hope this man is still as amazing today as he was that day!

An animal adult content body pillow 36:48 Mineta is that you!?

10:51 that trick is ctrl+shift+t

I can see a chef needing multiple timers for like, a bunch of things happening at once.

The worst one I ever saw was a third grader had his grandfather’s heart medicine confiscated. The mind boggles. I still know his name too.

For the story about the masks, the reason that they could cut the chairs using masks is because the masks had high friction bands, and so, if you use it like a saw It would cut the chair.

The story of the guy throwing eggs: it would be annoying to have to clean up, but i have to admire the commitment to thr pun 😂

When my mom was in high school (70s) a kid brought a knife in to school and stabbed another student on a stairway between classes. My mom was sick that day and was so disappointed she missed out

LOL!! That story with the girl and the shotg*n. My father did something similar with me in 4th grade. I was the entire school's target, the teachers and my mother blamed me for not being "normal"(ADHD). So my father sharpened a fork and gave it to me to take to school with me. My brother told my mother and she took it away. My brother then told everyone on the school bus. I got beat up real bad and my mother blamed me for "wanting to end my classmates"; which wasn't even true. I just wanted to be left alone. I stopped going to school at all in 9th grade. My mother still thinks everything was my fault and that I was "asking for it".

My aunt confiscated a bong from one of her Kindergarteners. He brought it for Show and Tell, without his mother’s knowledge, of course! Craziest thing I confiscated from a first grade girl was a jade and gold ring and bracelet set, taken from Mom’s drawer and given as a birthday gift to a friend. The nastiest thing I confiscated from a fourth grader was a matchbox that contained a pet water bug, (giant cockroach!)

When I was in first or second grade, I found a live shotgun shell on the ground next to my older brother's combi van. He used shotguns to hunt rabbits. I took it to school for show and tell. "Mrs Imrie, girls and boys, here I have a rabbit bullet." I explained that my brother used them in his gun when hunting rabbits. My teacher said "I'll look after that for you", and confiscated it. At the end of the day, she returned it to me to take home. No notes or anything. I was six or seven years old. That was the sixties for you.

i love ads “and her response was- ‘HONKAI STAR RAIL IS AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL GAME-‘“

Professional chefs probably need multiple timers so that they can keep track of multiple dishes being cooked at the same time

I went to highschool in the 90's in a small town in Wisconsin and I took firearms to school many times, I once gave a report on how to clean a gun and brought my shotgun into school and cleaned it in class after firing 2 boxes of slugs thru it that morning in the woods behind the school. I guess things were a little different back then.

When I was in elementary school a boy brought pictures to show and tell. They were naked pictures he’d taken of his sister… those were quickly confiscated

Oh, when I was in third grade, they didn’t confiscate the weird canister that a classmate had found on the way to school. It turned out to be a smoke bomb that one of the National Guard had left behind during a field exercise. It was just left on the side of the road where we walked to school. He set it off and the entire school filled with yellow smoke. I still have nightmares of being choked to death.

Story 71, Why just why? Why hide them in asbestos? WTF?

Can you imagine that tech kid getting recruited by the CIA?

Back in like 5th grade a friend brought in a furby. Teacher told her to put it away, which she did. Then during "silent reading" about 3 hours later, all the sudden we all hear "woah! It's really dark in here" coming from the closet! 😳 Furby just decided to talk randomly! 😂 The class just started laughing and the teacher made my friend give her the Furby to put in the principal's office until the end of the day, just in case it went off again. I think it creeped her out LMAO The same teacher tried to tell my mom I couldn't read 'Goosebumps' books in class anymore because they were "unholy" my mom just said "this is a public school, my daughter is dyslexic and finally found books she actually wants to read, I'll buy her every one of those books and you WILL let her read them. You don't dictate what my child reads" 😂🤣

I had a Swiss Army knife confiscated from me and I had no idea why it was bad, I just thought it was “tiny scissors.” Got it back at the end of the year when the principal handed it back to me and told me never to bring stuff like that again. I don’t even think my mom knew about it

On the timers thing - you would need more than one, because you would have more than one thing going, and potentially need to start things at certain times to get them done all at the same time. If you were doing turkey, mashed potatos, and gravy, each of those things will have their own recipes and schedules, so you need at least three timers to manage them.

A shank is actually pretty tame and straightforward compared to some the shit we had in school. We used to use these one specific mechanical pencils, a rubber band and a paperclip if youre lucky to make what was effectively, an autoshank, youd just pull back the top and wham, the paperclip metal stabs something or someone. They basically outlawed mechanical pencils over that at that school. Surprisingly still not as painful as tweeters (called Paper Hornets in the video) which were angled pieces of paper that were super tightly wrapped and fired by rubber band,. Imagine getting hit by a paintball that dosent pop and youre about in the ballpark of how painful that shit was, even if the autoshank broke skin, the worst that would happen is you'd bleed a little for a brief time, tweeters left giant welts, and were ranged weapons on top of it. On a happier note, I did the Halo thing as well, always been pretty tech savvy since I was a kid, I had a flashdrive full of games (back then, most games didn't require logging in and dealing with distributors like Steam, GOG, etc they could just be transferred inside a file folder, especially demos, like the Halo Combat Evolved demo) Id copy paste it across the computer lab and wed play multiplayer LAN matches whenever we could. We had this stupid site the teachers had us go to as opposed to an actual lesson called Study Island, we spent most of that time storming another Island in the Halo demo in the demo mission Silent Cartographer. A stupider, more petty item a friend of mine got confiscated was two 12 packs of Mtn Dew. Dude was selling them out of his locker for a querter each which, back then, was actually making profit. Respect. Edit: Holy shit, I first heard that seed cell biology story while I was in high school myself, I was led to beleive it actually happened at my school, the odds are well against it but man, thatd be wild.

I was 7 years old and kicked off the buss for "Sexual Harassment." Me and my neighbor were playing pretend and I said "Rahh I'm gonna eat you!" Bus driver screamed at me to stop being a little pervert, Dragged me by the ear into the office, I was then screamed at by the principal for a good hour while we waited for my mom to drive the hour back to the school. I had to ask her at 7 years old what Sexual harassment meant. My mom had to explain to a 7 year old what sexual harassment was because our bus driver was herself a pervert and thought that two 7 year old kids were being sexual. The principal told my mom that "His only problem is he needs a Man(Father figure) in his life." That principal also quit because he told me I wouldn't graduate on time, and when I did, he went to work with his brother and is now sitting in federal prison for embezzling money from PACyber. :3

So, funny story; I had an opportunity to sing as part of a choir for a concert a few months ago. Now, the arena this concert was going to be in was in a part of the city that was… not exactly known for being safe, which I knew would be fine day-of as I would be traveling with all the other kids in the choir, but due to schedule conflicts, I would be arriving to the dress rehearsal late… and alone. I also knew that, for the dress rehearsal ONLY, I would be able to leave my knife with security and pick it up on my way out. So that’s what I did. Here’s the funny part; When I went to retrieve my knife, security pulled out a bucket of AT LEAST two dozen knives and said, ‘go ahead and take yours.’ This was at one of like four entrances the choir had been using, so chances are it was the same at the other four. And it did not occur to me for a full WEEK the implication that likely a full QUARTER of the kids in that choir brought a pocket knife to a venue that DOESN’T ALLOW WEAPONS. And if that’s not indicative of the culture where I live idk what is

Story 2: This one was more cute than bad, as they kept the fish alive for the rest of the year and kept it somewhere arguably better for a fish to live in

Hi, not a professional chef but I am a baking student. I typically have at least three timers going so I'd be surprised if professional chefs didn't have a lot

20:20 i did something similar but in the pltw classroom i built a fully functiniong railg!n it used allen wrenches as the ammo and in my 7th grade smartness we amied it at a cardboard box first it pierced it. me and my friend (who was just watching) stoked at our invetion amied it across the room and fired! well it bouced off the wall and hit my other friend in the back of the head! when it hit them we watched our friends life flash before our eyes (he is fine now dont worry) and then we heard a WHAT THE F%CK.. after what happened we asked him about it and he said he lost hair where it hit and had the worst pain ever. so my teacher had to compiscate a railgun (i have no regrets)

The kid made a shiv, not a shank. Shiv is the weapon. Shank is what you do with it.

The flying fortress is a good tower in Bloons TD 6

Those hornet wars back in the day were brutal

I used to be my middle school hornet dealer. I found out that if you use the semi plastic labels from bottles they don't deform and you can get a better grip without ripping them.

0:44 my dad is a professional chef and he is addicted with collecting timers. I didn't know other chefs did that too 😭

the kid who got in huge trouble for accidentally having his pocket knife on him when he went back to school might be a kid from my home town? something really similar happened to this kid who lived down the street from me, although the story i was told was that it was a camping knife. poor kid

3:33 Ah yes, “BAPE.” A wonderful word indeed,

Those are called paper bullets and my father got his entire school in trouble for having them, the teachers were even taking the hair ties from the girls, but my dad, the sneak, would just give the teachers three or so rubber bands and he had BAGS of them in his locker 😂

I once had the principal himself confiscate a petition to remove a hair length rule, then tear it up. At my high school, in the deep south known as Louisiana, the entire district had a rule about hair that I still find pretty sexist. Men were not allowed to have long hair, it needed to be above the collar or you'd get a disciplinary report. They did say that you could tie it up, but the hair still had to be above the collar so if it was long enough the guys would have to put it in a bun. Now, due to a confluence of factors I will attempt to explain; I DESPISED having short hair. One; I had undiagnosed autism and found the feeling and sound of air on my ears incredibly upsetting to the point I would almost cry when walking down the hallway. Two; I hate the way my face and ears look because I think I look like a monkey and can't focus because I'm so worried about it. Three; I'm transgender, which makes sense in hindsight but I was completely unaware at the time. Long story short, one teacher cared way too much about me breaking this rule resulting in me getting an after school detention for it. I was both furious and incredibly upset at this, leading to my brilliant idea to write a petition and have the students at my school sign it. After all, nobody but this one teacher cared so I figured it'd be easy. I wrote it up, included a page on why the rule should be removed. I even roped my brother into this, since we both had long hair at the time. Basically at the beginning of classes we'd talk to our classmates and ask them to sign this petition to remove the hair length rule. About three days later, we get called into the principals office. Neither of us have any idea why, until he sits us down and shows us the papers we were handing out with about a hundred signatures on it from our classes. Now, our school was a max of four hundred or so student, so this was about a quarter of them. He gives us some bullshit about "This is a parish rule so we can't do anything about it." Then tore it up in front of us and told us if we did this again, we'd be suspended. There's no happy ending on this story, not really. I was two years from graduating and was forced to get my hair cut short so I wouldn't get in trouble while my brother decided he'd just tie his hair up for his four years at that school. It did no get easier, I couldn't stand the way I looked and while my parents let me keep my hair long enough to cover my ears, I still refused to have my photo taken for any reason. Which led to another problem with the school ID's and my graduation, but that's another story.

Its ACTUALLY illegal for teachers to steal things from you. That's why they TRY and force you to willingly hand them over..... All you have to do is refuse to hand it over, then when the teacher steals it from you. You can sue they get fired and you win.

Story 8 Cracking Jokes? More like Cracking Yolks!😂

Mainly 2 timers. One for fine tuned times (assuming they are analog style timers) and one that goes up to a whole hour.

My teacher tried to take my phone once. Normally I would straight up refuse like I've done before but this time I actually gave it to her but with a dirty little trick. I set up an app on it that would play a shrill loud alarm on full volume after 5 minutes. Then when she demanded to know how to turn it off because it was aggravating her already pretty bad headache, I told her I'd only turn it off if she gave the phone back.

Hand cuffs. 😂😂😂😂😂 A third grader took his mom's handcuffs off her bedroom dresser. 😂😂😂

Man, all the people getting in trouble for knoves when my local high-school aparently didnt care so long as you weren't damaging things or people with them. Farming communities aparently are more relaxed about pocket knives i guess.

I had the same setup of asbestos in my ceiling in my room as a kid so I can help explain. The asbestos are usually not fully covering the roof it’s just to one side I also hid carts up in my ceiling so the asbestos just stuck off to one single side and you could leave the carts on the other.

Back in around 1st-2nd grade I was sitting on the floor when I noticed an uncomfortable lump in my back pocket. I took it out and it was a small gold painted gun shaped keychain with a functional cocking and trigger system. I fiddled around with it and the teacher noticed and took it away. I never saw it again.

story 1: you need a lot of timers because you are making a lot of food with different times in different places

If you're a professional chef and you have multiple different ingredients cooking simultaneously, I can definitely see the need for multiple timers. Hell, I've used multiple timers home cooking before.

The teacher from story 23 could possibly be arrested for assault on a minor.

You can easily need multiple timers in a kitchen. Just look at chicken Alfredo as an example. The fettuccine, sauce, and chicken all need to be done at around the same time

the worst I ever did was taking apart sharpeners to cut myself. But that was 10 years ago