I understand distancing yourself from toxic parasocial relationships, but I don't think it's some sort of subversive 4D chess move and she's still being rude. Edit: oh how this aged, seems like she is just rude.

Unfortunately, Doja Cat doesn't understand that there's a difference between being honest and being downright incredibly rude... She is disguising her behaviour as *honesty* to get a pass for actually berating people. I understand very well that she wants to distance herself from all the noise, but she could have done that in a more respectful way as far as I'm concerned. I just think it's unfair to her normal fans who support her just fine. It shouldn't matter if you know the person or not, people deserve to be treated with respect, ESPECIALLY the people who make it possible for you to continue doing and making money off of what you love to do, period.

she didn't start lashing out like this on such a big scale until victims started coming forward to warn her and she railed on them before blocking them. that's just vile.

Didn't she start being more horribly rude because of her fans letting her know that her boyfriend is predator or something, and she just straight up block the victims of her boyfriend? 😭😭

Doja is definitely the one who called her fans Kittenz and has done so for years. Suddenly pretending it’s been the fans just calling themselves that only is BEYOND disingenuous, whoever wrote that headline in the thumbnails is a class A gaslighter of recent history.

lets NOT pretend that she did nothing wrong because she didnt assault ppl like some other male celebs... being hateful towards minorities is also a problem. being hateful towards your own fans is straight up weird

Not gonna lie, I’m still a bit salty because when Doja came to Paraguay and she behaved poorly with her fans, american fans were like “nah you are all crazy and exaggerating”. But we KNEW. It was also funny how we latin countries mock each other but when someone messes up with one of us we all unite agains them lmao

the fact that people gloss over that her new boyfriend is a literal predator who targeted underage girls, and then doja cat blocked all of the girls who spoke out about it is insane to me. framing it as people only being mad because of what she said about her fans is so disingenuous to me.

She really doing all this to make music that sounds indistinguishable from her previous 3 albums. 💀

let's not forget how she acted all diva in her south america tour and treated us like trash, specially the incident in Paraguay and when she was called out then played the victim and said iM lEaVinG mUsIc

ok but Doja has been trash in my book after she threw a tantrum because not enough people 'greeted' her while their homes were getting washed away by floods. It's not her being 'real' or setting boundaries her personality is by default just selfish and arrogant tbh.

I'm not even that deeply involved with Doja's career or antics but just from sitting on the sidelines I've observed: - Internalized racism - A history of edgelord/chronically online behavior - Competing for the attention of incels - Dating the sketchiest people possible - Being nasty to victims - Unnecessary aggression I'm not going to pretend like I know her personally and I do think criticizing parasocial relationships is valid, but damn is it hard not to fill in the blanks with how much she regurgitates online all the time. There definitely seems to be some self hatred and an attempt to shove away the old versions of herself while still using social media attention to try and gain validation. She really goes back and forth. I think it makes sense that she would still crave acceptance even while resenting the position she's in, because she went from relatively unknown with existing issues to being put on a pedestal and then continuously consumed and picked apart as a product instead of a person. Fame will really amplify all the bad and painful things that already exist in you, and then add an extreme amount of social pressure to your every move. It really seems like she needs to take a step back and do some self reflection on what she wants. She doesn't seem happy with her life at all and it will just keep running her down this miserable path.

Any entertainer; be it sports star, musician, or actor; has to understand that their services are not a commodity. You are famous because of your marketability. Doja Cat has every right to feel the way she does but she has no right to call people out for wanting her attention that she asks us for.

the thing that really makes me laugh about doja is she’s constantly trying to say she doesn’t care about anyone or anything when everything about her actions and responses screams the complete opposite and it’s so obvious. nothing wrong with caring it’s just crazy to see her say so many things and i think to myself like “…….you’re talking about yourself too though..”

It was not the Noah situation that changed Doja, it was her concert in Latin America that was supposed to be performed but the hurricane appeared and she got so much hate for not performing or saying hello to her fans sitting in the rain. She tweeted horrible things to those fans and received so much hate (starting to break) after that she appears bald

You brought up some valid points regarding her decline and fall, but personally, I don't think it's an excuse to mistreat her fans who have no ill intentions towards her. She is undeniably talented, which is something everyone agrees on. Maybe, if she had communicated her change without treating her fans like stupid for liking her previous songs, things would be different. Despite claiming not to care about her fans, she responds aggressively to negative opinions they express. I understand that she's frustrated by the toxic behavior of some fans, but she even treats those who genuinely appreciate her music poorly. Besides, you omitted mentioning the incident in Paraguay where she made a scene because her fans "weren't" present when she left the hotel, even though the city was experiencing torrential rains. While I recognize her talent, I will not support someone with a shitty attitude towards their fans.

Parasocial relationships are a wild thing

also, comparing her to male celebs who are s. assaulters is CRAZY. shes not anywhere near that level but she should treat her fans like humans lol its just super hurtful to see

Doja is nearly 30, not a teenager who can be excused and infantilised for her actions. She enjoys the validation and money that fame brings. She fosters and loves para social relationships bc she stays chronically online. If she really wanted to make music and have no persona, she could like SIA or something. But she craves attention and needs an outlet for her deranged narcissistic rants.

I def think it's weird to demand that a celeb express love towards you when they don't know you. HOWEVER, my problem with celebs is that they ENCOURAGE the parasocial relationship with their fans to their benefit. They get online and talk to them and tell them how much they want them to stream music and buy tickets and gas them up etc, and they milk that relationship all the way to the bank, then switch it up when the fans have expectations in return. You can't have it both ways. You love the parasocial adoration when it's making you rich but then when you've "made it" you shxt on those very people. That's hella wack. That's the part I can't respect.

I never see people willing to discuss her using raceplay kink in the open chat rooms with her "fans". It seems almost too taboo to even bring up her obvious humiliation fetish. All this other stuff is just a symptom of the bigger problem. Using her fans and the audience to get herself off.

girll. only thing she needed to do was to treat her fans like NORMAL PEOPLE. lets not pretend that this is all sexism and stuff, something is clearly wrong with her .

30:47 you said it so perfectly. “If you’re someone who’s truly happy with your life you will move in silence.”

I’m so glad these comments can see that Doja actually crossed the line here. She’s just straight up vile. No sugarcoating it

We had a male artist here in Australia that did an interview with a teen magazine that said and I quote ‘I hate my teeny bopper fans. They annoy me ‘ He then released his new album which bombed. It took him a really long time to crawl back from that. He’s still around now but not as famous as he could have been. He had to hitch his wagon to a star to get back into the charts. Just for the record I wasn’t a fan. His music simply didn’t vibe with me. No hate. Just didn’t appeal to me

"I dont give an f about what y'all think" proceeds to give an f about what people think and it's not just "thinking", it's harmful actions made by her man and she's mad cus people are warning her about it. I dont doubt someone is going to come up with some crazy theory about how she's was being manipulated if this relationship of hers reaches an end.

I was done with her after the Paraguay situation. Her fans were being incredibly racist and celebrating the deaths that occured that night, all because the fans in Paraguay were disappointed with not seeing her. Id be disappointed too if i spent hella money to see a bunch of artists, and it stormed so hard that people died. Musicians stayed to help by singing, handing out water, dispersing blankets and Doja.. tweeted that none of her fans were at the airport for her. Im pretty sure it was just a misunderstanding, but her IMMEDIATE knee-jerk reaction is anger and INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt people. Of course she said she was qutting again and obviously she wasnt. Its just irritating seeing her never grow and learn as a grown ass woman. Hope it happens for her tho

6:32 ill never get over that clip of Lady Gaga helping SZA with her dress 😭 Its just so wholesome Bonus points for her "my billionare husband just died under mysterious circumstances"/"i frolick in this dress around my 97 year old husbands mansion" vibes

i don't care if there are worse male celebs. doja did a lot of wrong things. she used the f word against gay ppl multiple times. she hurt a lot of fans who show her nothing but support. she HERSELF chose a name for her fans on twitter, then she got mad at them for using the word 'kitten'. she acts like a child.

Stupidity is not a sign of youth. Stupidity is a sign of ignorance, often willful ignorance, and immaturity. It is so weird that "youth" is simultaneously highly coveted and intensely demeaned in our society. Ignorance and immaturity might be more common in youth, but these things very much exist in great numbers in every age demographic. It is unfounded to suggest that stupidity is something that exists primarily in "youths" which is a careless generalization of people. Which is ironic because generalizing an entire group of people is in itself an ignorant and immature thing to do.

She NEVER got paid to do problematic things on tinychat. She said that she was always in there talking to people and sometimes problematic people would pop up but they would get banned or sometimes she would ban them.

I don't care if your male or female or whatever; a bad attitude is a bad attitude and aiming it at fans that actually love you?...natural consequences............

For one I'm worried about what's going on with Doja but at the same time it doesn't excuse her bad behavior towards others. I understand dealing with a lot when it comes to being a star but don't take it out on people who are worried about you. Especially when you go that far to BLOCK SA VICTIMS for the sake of your gross streamer bf 😭. Like I have no idea why the music girls settle for the most toxic and sleazy-looking men 💀.

I wonder if it's basically a must to have a therapist as an influencer? There's just so much power in negativity, even if the negative comments are 1 out of every 10 positive ones, they can get to you. I think it's obvious that Doja Cat has succumbed to that negativity, and is fed up to the point that she will lash out at anyone. I feel like therapy for celebrities would make a good video topic also. 🦆

The parasocial aspect gets complicated. It's definitely more than just wanting to be 'loved' by Doja; fans connect deeply to music to escape or cope with their own lives. So for Doja to then go on and basically insult the songs she's created and say it's pop garbage, is another eay of her trashing her own fans deeply when they take the connection to her music personally. Which is the whole purpse of creating various forms of art in the first place.

Tbh I was never hurt by this because I can separate the music and the artist. I do also sympathize with Doja to a certain extent because people have always been incredibly skeptical about her. While some of her actions haven’t been exactly great I’ll still be streaming her music. (Also side note I have the same necklace as you Salem lol. I also LOVE the background.)

Idc what her purpose is for all of this…she’s annoying ash and seeks attention constantly. Also, someone made a good point here. It doesn’t really seem like you can define this as parasocial relationship, since it’s not one sided. She imho, encourages this behavior from her fans and then complains. Like girl, they’re not the only ones that need boundaries. The way some people think she’s so quirky and genuine bc she claps back. I do understand she is under pressure and people are critical. Her behavior is still trash. There are definitely worse people, but I’m tired of her rudeness getting a pass. If I did that to people, I’d get my ass choked out.

nobody has to excuse her immature behaviour... and slurs she used as well

People don’t realize she’s working with the man who rped Kesha. Her behavior seems very similar to how some people cope with being violated.

4:20 Doja Cat is in no way a victim. The victims here are her fans and the people her nasty bf hurt. It's not "iconic" for anyone to be that way, male, female, or otherwise.

Honestly although one side of me dose understand where she’s going with the whole parasocial thing especially since it’s more common than ever. The other side can’t really take her seriously when she’s complaining that people are unfollowing her on instagram complaining of a fandom name and blocking victims of her boyfriend when they speak up. It just makes her look like someone who is chronically online.

Tbh her deflecting from all the controversies that started this ( her chat room days, racism and CA, mocking Amber heart’s testimony’s,and bf being a p3do and r@p1st and the victims telling her about it but her blocking them) is my real issue. Toxic parasocial relationships aside she’s been toxic from the beginning during her tour in South America. And the fans supporting her when she’s protecting and acting like her actions don’t have ramifications are only part of the problem.

🦆 you make a lot of really good points and your theory of why she may be acting this way is a damn good one. I think she’s also damn tired of trying to please everyone and has come to a conclusion that no one actually likes her for who she is. She really does seem done with it all.

You also forgot to mention how she harassed and blocked her bf's SA victims 19:33 Also yes your partners actions have everything to do with you since you are with them, thats a f-ed up mentality you have right there, theres nothing "too far" about it If you are with someone and know they are a shitty person/done shitty things then its guilty by association and clearly means you are also a crappy person if you are okay with letting that kind of stuff slide Again it isnt too far when their relationships reflect them as a person like come onnn please stop being so naive and ignorant 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

For a second I thought the title said "The Doja Cat Dilemma: When Authenticity Kills The Cat" as a reference to the idiom and her career 😂.

This is the most empathetic Doja take I’ve watched, while still holding her accountable for her wrongdoings.

I don't care for Doja Cat and the drama but i just love watching Salem talk the "celebrity drama" talk 🦆🥰

Always a good day when Salem post

It was out of context, but a part of me wonders whether that one fan asking for her to tell them she loved them wasn't more of a thing of "people recently think you hate you fans, so let me offer you an opportunity to show it's not actually the case, that you just hate the people who are hating on you and not the rest" or something. I may be totally wrong, but that was my first assumption, considering all that had been going on. If they were actually asking to just hear it though, yeah that's a tad concerning :/

I disagree with this one. I don’t really care who others did or did not. She was rude. Is not like her fans where asking her to kiss wherever the walked. Literally insulting her fans and calling them stupid is not a way of “I’m putting boundaries with my fans”. It’s just being entitled and rude. Let’s not pretend they deserve more forgiving because of the industry they are. All systems are corrupt and sexist. And we don’t go our way to hurt people to put “boundaries”.

I stopped following her after she got mad at that Plastic Surgery Lori lady and started calling her Jack Skellington and a bunch of really hateful things and then said that she got no plastic surgery and she just looks different because of Taco Bell and depression.

💗Hey hey hey everyone! sorry for the late upload, I've been gone for a while celebrating 7 lovely years with my partner

i was never weirded out by doja, even with the whole parasocial relationship, what was weird is how she dates that creepy ass man, that kind of made me like her less

I heard a saying once and I really think it rings true, Fame is an obscure thing because everyone wants it but no one knows what to do with it. It's gotta make you go insane or something

Also that whole untasteful response to Lorry Hill discussing potential plastic surgery lol... like every response doja makes just makes her come across as more immature and childish, instead of being the bigger person and ignoring haters..

Honestly, I hate hate hate that people with bad attitudes make it far, but at the same time, most of them are so sneaky about it that her blunt rudeness is ALMOST a breath of fresh air Edit: oh my goodness, the Dr. Luc stuff makes SO much sense to me 🦆🐥

I really do think that she’s doing all of this on purpose to get people to unfollow her and hate her. I think the pressure is too much and it’s not fun and games like her troll/meme music of the past that she could manage by herself. I can’t imagine what it’s like having so many eyes on you after doing something for fun as a hobby in your bedroom. I think you’re right, she’s missing that, but is at a place where she can never go back to that. I hadn’t thought about the Dr. Luke/attempting to break her contract thing though. I always assumed her actions were to scare off people and/or push them away by causing them to hate her, that’s really great insight. I didn’t really think that anything deeper was going on, until she started dating this new guy. Now I’m torn. Because that could be a bit of self harm, but also it could be entirely staged. Who knows. All I know is that I saw a fan say something like “wow, Doja’s going to become an alternative artist now, I can’t wait to hear new stuff” and while I listen to her and like her, I pretty much exclusively listen to alternative music, and I’m perhaps most disappointed that she’s not actually trying anything different 😅 Call your fanbase stupid and your old (strong, imo!) work “cash grabs” but doing nothing to change that other than aesthetically is wild to me lol. All I know is she would absolutely be happier if she threw her phone into the damn ocean and wasn’t as chronically online and subjecting herself to constant insanity online. Hoping she realizes this and takes a hammer to her phone on Instagram live and when the hammer cracks down directly on the camera and the feed cuts off, she can be at peace lol

People never talk about the Paraguay situation. And that was honestly the time where I couldn't even listen to her music anymore. Now, I don't hate her. I just feel more indifferent about her than before.

I love the way you mix clips and b-roll together (I’m guessing this is the correct term) it’s always so captivating and you paint such a great picture on the topic before diving in deeper.

I did post a comment about being disappointed, but Salem, you brought up some good points: maybe, she don't wanna deal with the industry anymore. And Dr. Luke, especially. It kind of make me have a little bit more hope with her... But, I will be giving her the side-eye about her current bf though. Lol.

IM SO HAPPY YOU MADE THIS VIDEO IVE HAD SUCH MIXED FEELINGS!! LOVE YOU XOXO

Are you defending her? **listens because it's you** Ok, i'm glad you didn't defend Doja defensive and unacceptable reaction to fans who expressed their traumatic experiences with her current predatory partner. I was on her side til she started enabling that predator bf jcyrus and blocking his victims.

I think you covered this so well, you really touched on a lot of bases when talking about fame and navigating para-social relationships.

Ngl this is a really good take, and more or less documents on the issue fairly maturely. (love your content sm ❤)

i do agree in not askin a friend from doja, but you *can* expect her to be nice if you are an average fan interacting with her pd: love your vids btw! happy anniversary🎉

curiosity killed the cat is such a genius title i got chills lmao

I feel like such an outlier regarding Doja. I respect her a lot a) because I love her music, and now b) she is setting barriers for herself. Though she has done it in a crass way, it's clearly the only way people have listened. It's always seemed to me that she disliked being in the lime light and she has just had enough. I don't know, just let her breathe, it's not that deep. Anyhow, I love your videos, Salem, and I always look forward to them ❤

Your eye make-up is so pretty! ❤

Let's be real. People be rude to her like nothing, talking about her looks, her business, how she should behave, what she should do.....fans and people get a pass to be rude while she fights back, people flip. Can she do bette? Yes, but it's clear she might be mentally crashing.

She is just mad because of all the stuff about her boyfriend. She was always comfortable with parasocial relationships she did countless lives she always loved to interract with her fans, she said that she loved her fans countless times. She draws the line when it comes to her love life ( ex : she was mad at Noah bacause he leaked something regarding her love life )

I don't understand why people feel as if celebrities are their bffs. It's so weird to me. But I grew up before social media.

hell yeah im looking forward to seeing salem's take on this!

I think the original reason why her fans have stopped supporting her went out the window and the fact was she was dating someone that had SA multiple women or cheated and hurt multiple women and when her fans tried telling the type of man she's with and she deserved to be with someone better she then went on that whole tirade and disrespecting not only her fans but the victims of her bf

I knew of her before " moo" I listened to her wayyyy wayyy back. She was happier being a "small" artist. Artist are gonna change and develop different art. But she wasn't lying saying it was a cash grab. I know " say so" wasn't her best work. And she knows it too. She's over it but she should be. It's healthy to be.

Thank you for touching on this topic Salem!! ❤❤

YAY A NEW SALEM UPLOAD!

Personally I just see someone who is getting exhausted of being an idol and being expected to live and constantly modify her life & behaviours for others. She isn't necessarily going about everything the right way all the time but she is also human. I also think that a lot these fans behaviour is quite toxic & hypocritical but all of the focus is on the star (rather than the what the star is having to deal with every moment of the day).

She isnt calling out parasocial relationships though shes just insulting her fans for no reason. Its her egotistical and arrogant attitude thats got her thinking anyone whos ever liked her music MUST be completely and totally obsessed with her. Meanwhile just cause someone has their favourite singer in their twitter handle or says theyre a fan doesnt mean they are drooling at the mouth totally completely obsessed with the singer lol.

I’ve been waiting for this one TURN IT UP

I always enjoy your purrrrrrspectives 🐈‍⬛️

Idk but I love that “Attention” song

You always deliver queen 👑❤

i find the whole situation to be complicated because as much as we like to think that having a few followers on instagram makes us feel like marylin monroe or doja, we're not and we probably won't know how that feels like. for your personal life to be judged DAILY by people you dont know AND THEN BEING EXPECTED TO STILL BE KIND??? lets be honest you won't be able to know who is roasting your egghead and who is appreciating it from the million people who are following you. until doja is free enough to tell us about whats going with her , lets just be patient.

🦆 always love your videos, it’s amazing how empathetic and humble your views are on any subject you bring up here ❤️

I love what she’s doing. It’s necessary. People on here are fucking insanely disrespectful. She’s throwing back what this culture has become so many ppl on social media are narcissistic, toxic, bullies and abusers hiding behind keys. I see her as the modern grace jones. She doesn’t give af and will clap right back.

GIRLLLLLL I always love your videos, always agree wholeheartedly with every single point you make but this THISSSS!!!!!! You're the light at the end of the tunnel because through all the internet I haven't seen a single person stating the same arguments you did which I agree one by one! Wow. I was starting to feel like I was crazy but yeah thanks Salem! So insightful as always! 🖤🌟

Oh hells yeah I was waiting for this 😊 Love you Salem

this is a manifestation of years of stress

Salem, you always manage to make me laugh even when you're not even trying to be funny. Idk why but when you said waterrrr and rolled the "r", I laughed so hard. Lol you're just naturally funny, and I love that. It's the people that try too hard to be funny that are never funny. So, I just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh. And thank you for being you. 😊

I love that everyone added "parasocial" to their dictionary overnight

i used to like her music, but now whenever i listen to it,in the back of my mind i know she thinks im stupid for bobbin my head... i dont need...

you literally put into words exactly what i’ve been trying to say about her this whole time

Great video Salem, thanks! Good pacing and clips, love the makeup

Her new song seems to be doing well so I don't think she's gonna like say something that is contradictory to her recent behaviour . I believe fans should just reflect on themselves and reflect on the feels that her actions have brought and see whether they're reacting way too emotional for a person they don't even really know. It's gonna hopefully make people see that stanning someone you don't know that hard isn't normal or healthy.

she's vile now tbh. it's so sad bc before the fame she was so authentic without being rude to the people who supported her. i personally muted her on Spotify bc I just can't support people like that. hopefully she matures in the future.

I mean... Clear sign of depression. She's depressed. With the guy from Stranger things... I get why she felt betrayed. "Caught being thirsty" no... I mean, I tell a friend something in confidence, I'll be pissed if they humiliated me by exposing my secret. She knows him personally, that's why what he did wasn't cool. He embarrassed her. I had a friend do that... We are not friends anymore.

As always, what an outstanding essay, you never disappoint and all the points you make are always so clear~

So much this. I've noticed in general whenever any women artists change their sound, genre, or style, people crap all over them and say "go back to your old sound" "you don't make music for your fans anymore when we're the ones who made you famous" or have the audacity to call them "narcissistic" for doing what they want with their own music and image. I don't even listen to Doja Cat's music to know this, it's literally a canon event for women musicians. It makes me angry. When you make your art a business it's like you're not allowed to make art for your own expression anymore, it's just to please and entertain what others want and I can understand how that would be upsetting and make someone resentful of their own fans when their fans aren't supporting them and just view them as a commodity. When you're a small artist you can do what you want and if something flops no one really berates you for it, but when you're a name known by millions regardless of what you put out some people out there are gonna always hate you and make it personal. You can dislike a song without giving someone hate and death threats. You also don't have to like every song an artist puts out to still be a fan. You can also like an artist's music but not like them as a person. People make it too black and white. These are strangers. You don't know them, you don't own them, and they don't live to only please you.

“Tinychat stuff” is a helluva way to paraphrase flirting with nazis, calling them n words with a hard r and confessing how she wishes she were white. Im so frustrated bc I knew something like the Nazi tshirt the other week would happen and I’ve been bitching about it since she got away with complete denial of recorded evidence and it made her more famous imo, white allyship got her the brand deals that made her rich today. Nazis watched her get away with that knowing she still loves them and craves their attention when most of her fans are supposedly progressive poc queer etc. it should have been taken seriously the first time esp considering it was 2020 and the WORST time to embolden them which happened to circle back around to another election cycle now 🫠 convenient timing for her in 2020 being so crazy it was easy to miss or forget about bc there were way bigger issues at hand

Doja Cat reminds me of myself, esp in my 20s, way too concerned with being authentic to the point of stupidity, making life 10x more difficult, and self-sabotage