I just don't get this. Being "interested" in other people will just make you look like a people pleaser.

When no one is interested in you

@@conforzo then you have a very wrong understanding of what a people pleaser is. being honestly interested in people has nothing to do with people pleasing.

I get this quote but in my opinion we have lost the art of communication so much that no one really tries to get to know someone else

This is a good one, be interested as opposed to trying to he interesting.

Same

That is incredibly bland and I would encourage you to use specifics and not low effort replies like that and using someone's name.

Thank you!!

@@stevenswall It's not at all bland, used correctly. For many people, when sharing their passions, they're afraid they're overwhelming or boring the other person. If someone listening responds with a genuine 'tell me more,' it conveys interest and a desire for the other person to unpack and explain their passion all the more.

@@REDRAGON12345I agree with him tho, much better to ask a follow through question and get specific so they can elaborate on it and you genuily come off as interested. If someone said ”tell me more” to me I would be weirded out.

Speak for. Yourself! I would have to let them out of my pokéball! 🤣

Or maybe friends ARE like Pokémon, you just need to focus on “leveling up” a few of them

@@gamingimpossibl Or keep them imprisoned together in a cramped little ball you throw around? 🤔🤔🤣🤣🤣Maybe Pokeman analogies are limited!!

@@flashwashington2735 I have 253 people locked in my basement

What about red who caught it all ?? 🤣

Not really. A simple invite by some co-worker is enough to make new connections. And if you are fun and social, you will make new acquaintances, and eventually those acquaintances become mates, then buddies and maybe later good friends. It's a snowball effect.

@@mr.nobody2244 take ur meds bro

@@mr.nobody2244 I don't think you will experience that snowball effect without first being a friend like the original comment said.

@@ric6611 There's a lot more types of relationships than just friendship. A surface level acquaintance is enough to get a foot in the door.

If you want a friend, first be a friend. What the hell does that even mean?

Just noticed this isnt talked about by most famous social experts

Underrated comment.

If you'll allow me to give my perspective on the matter. It's something I've actively dealt with and feel like I can share my two cents on. There are multiple aspects to this matter. 1. Being vulnerable with family about your true feelings and getting them to understand your perspective without forcing it upon them. Share about how you felt with certain events in the past and how those made YOU feel. Don't impose anything on them or judge them. By opening up they will in turn also feel comfortable to do the same. To which you can then reply with comments of understanding. 2. Actively put time into setting up calls, or schedule fun activities with family. Even if they dont return the same effort. Take responsibility for the connection yourself. Food, activities all this stuff gets you to form a connection. Time is valuable and time spent together is creating a bond. 3. Really try to understand their situation and dont expect anything in return. If they dont reply to your message, if they dont put the same effort back. Your love should be unconditional, this doesn't mean they can push your boundaries but it's about emotionally not letting things escalate. 4. Avoid conflicts and arguments over tribal matters. Yes you might have radically different opinions on politics or the environment, lifestyle whatever. That doesn't mean you need to voice your opinion though. A wise person once told me. "Having an opinion doesn't equal voicing an opinion". Ask yourself what is the benefit of argument? What are you gaining and what are you losing. Unless the argument is about some important decision you're usually better off not having it. I learned this the hard way and have been in mad conflicts about trival things... 5. Keep cool and don't become heated emotionally, respect their options but still follow your own path, be attentive and interested in their lives. Hope this helps, these were my key take aways from last 2 years dealing with the same issue. My family dynamic has shifted from feeling isolated and disconnected to having close relationships with my parents and siblings ❤

​@@unknownmovementDEEP, well done, now name me ur top 3 books, but please dont say the Carnegie is one..

It could be the have a personality or other mental disorder. My mother is BPD, I never knew that until two years ago... it changes the HOW when dealing with a disorder, even narcissistic.

Billy Strings?

@@milesproject4556 actually Grateful Dead cover bands but billy is my favorite for sure!!!

@@milesproject4556 I have also met great people at billy shows tho

Not if you life in Germany and you are going to blues/guitarr/soul concerts All the people are 10 years younger or 40 years older than me 🤣. Just stories from Germany

@@milesproject4556 he’s the best!

I don't think you are able to tell me what I need 😅 each of us has more or less different needs. Besides, think about how each of one's friends has different personality traits which makes one connect with them; that could be enough reason for one to need / want more than one friend.

Debatable amd subjective and arbitrary, but either way that would constitute one needing more if you don't have that obviously.

@@SherrickDuncan It's actually none of the above. You don't need a million friends to be cool or anything. And besides how of those so-called friends are even real friends except for the one that's already there?

Quality over quantity

@@GalvatronStudiosIt's debatable, subjective and arbitrary still. Your counter-argument of "not needing a million friends to be cool or anything" has nothing to with the point. You may only need 1, that's fine. Some people (I'd even wager it's most people) would like to have a small friend group of like 4 other people, that preferably are mutual friends between them as well. The homies, if you will. Personally, I think just having one person to talk to may be overwhelming for the other person.

ReallySounz like she's using an excuse/ projecting to cover, so don't take personally. It's good thing to move on and maybe look why friendship was truly so one-sided.

Stop labeling yourself and just do what you want to do. Labels just hold you back

I blame society's structure. With 8hrs + of work a day, and then family and house responsibilities, where are we supposed to have the time to foster the depth required. Also where I live, it's culturally normal to go out to meet up with friends, which puts a financial constraint on existing friendships but more so meeting new people. I think our social structure is more of the issue than tech, but I don't think that's helped either.

@@tmt9002 tech is part of the social structure, that's why it's called social media

It won't answer your question but I have the same issue and the only way I found is to give time to friendships. Some people were really friendly real quick so it made me feel great and I would get vulnerable and friendly with them back, only to realize that it was all fake. Now, even if someone gets friendly very quickly, I keep it at my path and I watch what happens. If the person is genuine then they understand and respect my slower path, if the person is actually manipulative, they usually get bored that I take it slowly and leave me alone at some point. It can be a bit hurtful to realize that someone was fake with you, but it's much better than getting vulnerable with the wrong person.

Killer quote!

Sniff their butt when meeting. Do this every time. It's a non-negotiable.

@@twopintsofmilk I try but just get arrested

Watch „Daft Punk - Da Funk“

You have to join a flock. In this case, I think your flock is dogs. Give sniffing your neighborhood dogs' asses a try.

Doesn't sound like you're all that "inspiring" to others.

to quote me to a player just two days ago... if you are bored, you're boring.

@@Elle-Louise I'm never bored when I am by myself...got tons of hobbies and stuff I'm interested in...the people I meet aren't interested in the things I am interested in..and I'm not interested in their things... so maybe i am not inspiring to them as the other dude said...the dullness of each others company must be mutual...it is what it is...🤷🏼‍♂️

@@nikoniko3483 yup...must be a mutual thing...

@@mr.nobody2244 you know what? I recant. I am alone most of the time and never bored either. I even moved to a foreign country two years ago, and have been some isolated, and I never am bored. But, when presented with some malignant character traits, I can feel a lack of energy to waste by engaging. I guess that counts as bored. Though to add, I do consciously analyze the behaviors to come to understanding, albeit from a distance

If you've got a handful of true friends you're lucky

You must be rich

I had ME for 10 years during the prime years for making friends (11-21), so it's been a real challenge to find and hang onto the small group of friends I've managed to find, although they live in various locations miles away from me, so we rarely see each other, but stay in contact in the virtual sense thanks to the internet. Having a chronic condition doesn't mean it's all over, but it's a quick way to filter out the ones who are good for you, so the good ones are easier to spot when they eventually come along.

Where'd you hear that

@@dcoy8666 They had a pod. Now just one of them is doing it. They weren't really open about it.

They're you Go Good Ears

@@reycesarcarino4653 Only for them to turn around a let out what is spoken to other ears. No one can be trusted at work.