“Buddy! You are alive!😭” “Ugh. Yeah. I guess so.😒” As yes, the most touching character revival scene in history.

This sounds like they got a group of drunk people to make a parody of this classic movie

Gepeto is just a supportive protective parent. He knows his son is fruity and he wants to protect him from homophobes.

As a writer this really gives me confidence in my writing skills 🤡

This movie is basically the worlds most expensive shit post and I love it

i LOST IT when the cat immediately fucking shot pinnochio like what the hell even was that scene😭

The funniest thing in this for me is the weird “SkadeeSkadeeSkadee!!” while he’s booking it to the window. Like wtf even is that sound and what is it even trying to convey

Bella: "I don't even like you!" Pinocchio: "No, Bella, please! Help me! My daddy will kill me if he finds out I don't like you either. 😭"

IM LOOSING MY FUCKING MIND IM LITERALLY UNCONTROLLABLY LAUGHING WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM CALL GEPPETO DADDY 😭😭

I like how a magical growing nose isn't logical in their world, and yet a puppet coming to life follow by a horse who could talk and two bipedal furries is

3:01 "IMMA BOY AND IMMA ALIIIIVE!"🤣🤣🤣

Am I the only one who bursted laughing with the 3:39 scene? "Anyone suspicious in your home?" Zoom the weirdst extras ever in any animation movie

9:09 - 9:19 I love how Pinocchio sounds mildly annoyed at being brought back alive, as if it's some small inconvenience LMAO!

The faces and audio don’t sync, and the acting of pretty much everyone is troll 2 teir. Everyone’s distracted by gay Pinocchio but but no ones talking about how this movie brakes like the most basic rules of animation, film making, and sound mixing.

5:32 “MAMA MIA! A WOODEN BOY! AHHHGH!” *pulling that trigger without hesitation*

2:48 feels like a fever dream. Well the whole movie does but especially this- like why did he laugh and then ‘oH bOy iM AlIvE”

Shrek pinocchio is the real pinocchio, thongs and all.

This movie is a comedy gold. It feels like a parody just to piss the audience or something😂😂😂😂

my favorite part is the deep voice of “see you later my dear gepetto” to “bye daddeeeee!!!!’”

As an Italian, I'm dying laughing. Poor Collodi is surely writhing in his grave. Lmao.

Yo, they seriously tried to do the whole "being human is about what's on the inside" morale, but then pulled the rug from under our feet and said "Screw it, let's just copy Tangled's revival thing, that'll connect somehow!"

WHYYY DID HE HAVE TO CALL HIM DADDY 😭

My personal favorite lines: “SKIDEWSKIDEWSKIDEWSKIDEW-“ “BYE DADEEE!” And “It’s just meEe”

8:52 can't believe there's literally hello neighbor in this movie

I remember hearing one review that summed the movie up too well I couldn't say it better myself: "Horrible & Phenomenally Unimaginative"

"Pinnochio u r alive!" " *sighs* I guess so" he sounds so disappointed 🤣😂

“Maybe Leonardo…No, that won’t do. He’d grow up to be a selfish actor.” They really came for Leo by adding that line 💀

Okay so three versions of Pinocchio were due to come out this year INCLUDING a live action Disney reboot [and those have done Soooo well in the past ~Rolls my eyes~] so Lionsgate films searched for and found a cheap version shot in Russia, bought it for pennies, then knocked out the fastest, cheapest and WORST voice acting imaginable in a desperate rush to beat the other films to the market. Never seen that done before [cough that sounds remarkably like "Dungeons and Dragons"]. Lame knock-offs are commonplace. Asylum films has turned it into a full-on parody industry, but this is just going way too far.

This looks like a very impressive college student project but not enough for a studio sponsored feature...

“Lions gate didn’t pay me to crap on this movie” did anyone else see his nose grow when he said that?

Genuinely the most believable voice acting from Pinocchio this whole movie was when he said “ugh, yeah I guess so.” Like…are you kidding?

"Lions gate didn't pay me to crap on this movie." That's exactly what someone who's been paid to crap all over this movie would say 🧐

5:19 this looks like a highschool play, where no one wanted to participate, and they barely remember their lines

2:37 Funny since in the trailer he says he would grow up to be a turtle that eats pizza

Geppetto: *takes head and hits it with hammer 3 times * Also Geppetto: "damn that was the most exhausting thing I've ever done"

This seems like one of those movies you would find in the bargain bin at Walmart or a dollar store but it's actually produced by a significant film studio and I continously can't belive that

I love how when Pinocchio came back to life and became a real boy he sounded annoyed like they just woke him up from a nap

2:31 I think it’s funny how the ninja turtle joke was dropped because it made absolutely zero sense

8:25 best piece of advice ever

7:20 A wooden boy gets rejected by a girl, funniest sh*t I’ve ever seen ..

Fairy: "If someone wants to be human, all they have to do is be human." I don't think that's how the system works...

Bruh this line got me laughing so hard: “I was having a very nice nap and Pinocchio rudely awakened me with this god-awful noise.”

this movie feels ironic, like all the animations looks mediocre but when he got shot, that shit was amazing

05:39 the ending screen would be "perfect" here

The way Pinocchio said I IM ALIVE sounded like he was drunk

I just tried watching it and all the voice actors are different. I've been trying to figure this out for like an hour. Pauley Shore isn't voicing pinochhio. For some reason it's some British VA and all the other voices are different when I compare the clips to the trailer. Can someone please help me with this? I might have been watching the Russian dubbed version. Is there even a Russian dubbed version?! WHY AM I NOT HEARING TWINKNOCCHIO?! I SWEAR I'M LOOSING MY FUCKING MIND SOMEONE HELP ME PLS 😭

Pinocchio: Is straight. Everyone: *"absolutely not."*

bro who tf say "skiddy skiddy skiddy!" while running 🤣 1:03

2:55 from what I’ve seen, this is the smoothest animation out of this movie

This movie looks like is was made in a different language and then dubbed over. This is horrible hahah

The cat just straight up shot Pinocchio without warning, what a gangsta

A part of me was hoping the trailer made the movie look way worse than it actually was, but this review just confirmed it wasnt the case. I still havent seen the full film yet but I already have my expectations set.

7:04 “It’S jUsT mE” -Pinocchio 2022

4:32 "Thank you daddy." I feel like they knew what they were doing.

if this was a movie from like 2009 i wouldnt say a thing but this just hurts to look at, not mentioning the sound design

I guess talking animals a normal. The cat, the fox, the horse. But a wooden puppet? That's weird. And a perfect excuse for the gun crazed cat to shoot something.

FAATHER WHEN CAN I LEAVE TO BE OWN MY OWWNNNN, I'VE GOT THE WHOOLLE WOOORRRRLLLDD TO SEEEE!!!!!

“I’m a boy and I’m ALIVEEEEEEEEE ah-” -Pinocchio 2022 also Pinocchio “SKEDISKEDISKEDISKEDI”

"I'm a boy and I'm aliiiive!" STOP IT 😭

Aside from Geppetto and (surprisingly) Pinocchio none of the voices fit their characters, especially the detective guy. At least he had the whole Worldussy

I hate that the dude at 7:36 walks like he's holding in a giant Taco Bell turd.

I won't get that out of my head "Thank you daddy" "SKA DI SKA DI SKA DI!" Edit: oh my god mom I'm FAMOUS!

This is a Russian movie, so the detective randomly looking for suspicious people with no evidence makes sense.

The “animation” during the first exchange with Bella gave me so many Zelda vibes

4:40 I make this sound when I’m taking a piss

Please dress up as Pinocchio for Halloween 😂😂

8:17 close your eyes and listen 😏

5:16 And it spawns one of the most insane scenes in cinimea history.. -Wells Fargo add plays-

I can’t get enough of this channel. Well done!

I still struggle to believe this is a real lionsgate film

9:03 but why is it like Tangled

The lack of humanity and depth in all of these characters scare me… imagine waking up in this world, the only truly sentient being… horrifying 😳

"hmm.... how about we change his voice?" "we can't" "oh c'mon, they wont notice" *"hey tom, just act gay as possible"* also that "bye daddy" 💀

This is supposed to be a „true story" and even the horse said, that the Pinocchio's nose doesn't really grow when he lies. Like, the name „Pinocchio" literally means „one who lies often" (and if we consider that Pinocchio's main character trait is his nose growing when he lies, I don't understand the purpose of this movie.. oh ye, money ig) SKE DE SKE DE

"U dont think its suspicious that theres no one suspicious in ur home?" -some detective

0:20 I THOUGHT HE SAID I TOOK A BIG SHAT😂

Pinocchio leaves his home, 5 mins after, gets shot, this is trully a very accurate Latino experience.

I think the most shocking thing in this movie isn't that they have completely changed the whole story and made it worse it's that he isn't gay

5:51 so true 😹

9:36 TAKE A SEAT SHORTEEE

2:55 this looks like something from the sims 4

6:07 Just look at the Fox's hand

“Hey you should like this person!” “Ok!” This makes so much sense 😌

Fun fact: Pinocchio is 100 years old because most trees are 100 years old and Pinocchio is made out of trees, (wood) so he is old

When Pauly Shore is the most normal thing in the movie, you know you've got an...interesting movie.

SKIDEE SKIDEE SKIDEE SKIDEE 🐎🪟🏃🏼‍♂️

The voice actor for Pinocchio deserves 100% of any money made from this movie.

"I'm a boy and I'm aliveeee" "AUGHHH😩"

The horse is voiced by Napoleon Dynamite.

“If you wanna be human (or anything else) then just be human” Ollie London: and I took that personally

9:21 At least it has better lip sync lol

"See you later my dear GEPETTOOO" I can't- lol im dying😂

a man named jePEDO carving a little boy to call him daddie.......this one of them scifi adaptations aint it

Just listening to the lines is making me scream: "Who wrote this script?! I want names!"

9:13 LMAO WHA

The gay voice for Pinocchio makes it low-key hilarious every time he calls Geppetto "Daddy" lol

I really feel like they made this movie bad on purpose👁️👄👁️

I can't believe they got stoney, ice king, and napoleon dynamite to do this movie

I can’t wait until all of the Pinocchio movies from this year come out and then people can rank them with all of the existing Pinocchio films.

3:01 “ima boy and imaliiiiiiive” kiLLED ME