1) Go no contact 2) Remove things that remind you of him 3) Let out things unsaid, journal or say to him 4) Focus on yourself 5) Get support 6) Get out, go on a date, friends 7) De-limit time you think about him

What I’ve come to understand about myself is this: The things I miss about the person I loved were parts of me that were being mirrored back to me. That being authentic and self acceptance...which I continue outside the relationship. My journey of self-discovery and healing continues.

I have an ex I miss, but only because he was my best friend. He understood me and we could...and did, talk about everything. We shared the same morals, values, spiritual and political beliefs. I also miss simply snuggling and quietly talking. What makes it easier to let him go is the realization I'm not his soulmate and he deserves to find her. And as you pointed out in this video, I must do work on myself. I have control issues, high expectations for a mate, and am not flexible on issues that mean a lot to me. So although I enjoy flirting, dinner dates and spending time with men, I'm not so sure I am ready for love.

Going no contact is great - also being gentle with yourself, accepting and owning your feelings and always putting whats healthy for you first 💛

Omg thinking about an ex was intoxicating. i went through that phase. I'm grateful that when I think of him (Paul :), sometimes all I can think of is our positive memories we have shared together and I honestly wish him well. Also I sent him my forgiveness because I've forgiven myself. Although i still have true love for him, I had to walk away, move on, and focus on living my best life! I realized that when I truly love someone, the only thing I can do is to set him free, knowing that if it is meant to be-he will return. And if he don’t, then he's just one of the most beautiful lessons i'll learn. Thank you Jack for your youtube videos filled w/ enlightenment and wisdom!

After 37 years it’s really difficult.....but it’s been 16 months now & it is getting easier....best advice no contact...I still cry every night at what should have been....I no longer want him back..I’m enjoying your support videos....thanks again 🙏🏻

Hi Jack 😀 l don't want to take up your time up with what has happen to me over the past 62 years, particularly the past 13 months, however l have to express my gratitude as l listen everyday to your posts THANKS 🧚‍♀️

Above all give it time. We need time to heal. I love that you call it "a season of need." It has been for me, it happened together with many life changes so I came completely unmoored. Finding my port once again...

I remember in the dark ages, prior to the internet, smartphones and social media, when someone left you you were usually totally cut off and left in the dark about their existence. In most cases they became untraceable and not knowing their whereabouts or what they were doing, was insufferable. Counselling wasn't as readily available then either and was only considered as a last resort if you had thoughts of self harm. The conducting of relationships is so different now. Thanks for your wonderful videos Jack. Belinda xx

"There are more fish in the sea". Not if you're a middle-aged woman who wants someone your own age.

Just choose to tell yourself to DISCONNECT FEELING FROM him. Stop thinking. Stop looking at pictures of him. Get tough. Think i m tough. Stop it!

Love you Jack but honestly, none of this stuff worked for me. I did every single thing you mentioned. Friends got tired of hearing about it, activities and exercise made me look good but not feel good etc.. Sometimes broken hearts just never heal. I once heard somebody say we probably die for a reason. This seems like one of the reasons. To just not have to carry the pain anymore

I have been doing all what you said and no 8, cry and depressed as much and many days and understand the fact you loved and it's over, feel how much you are vulnerable. But thanks so much again I love your intelligence and genuine support

Love this community! ❤️

There’s no better way to get over an old lover than to get under a new one... 😊 Actually after a year and a half of struggling, Going no contact, dating other people, etc, I decided I needed to see a therapist to help me move forward. I’m much better than I was. These are all great tips. Thanks!

You have some really practical advice. You are very insightful and bring it back to personal development, not just relationships which is just what s person needs. Thank you.

Jack! Awesome! Thank you so much. I’ve done these things. The reassurance is good. Although we reconnected after 55 days of no contact and it was just that I needed to say things to him and clear the animosity and hate. It’s done and my mind is clean.

This has been so helpful Jack -Thank you for pointing me in the right direction - You make such a lot of sensex

Super intuitive! This video is powerful! Thank you so much Jack. Really appreciate it!🙏💯👍

Jack, I want to thank you for your video on "Three Things to ask your Guy". I asked him if I was "in his heart". He is a funny guy so at first he said, " no you're over there." But then he lovingly gave me multiple reasons as to why I am in his heart. I am secure, but what he said was so comforting!! Thank you for the work you do so we can do the work we need to do!

Jack. Thank you. Such support. You are so helping me. Bless you x

I really like all of your suggestions to get over an ex. Very helpful video thank you very much! I look forward to the next video.

Thank you jack as always you are right on spot ! I’m so glad we coached together you taught me so much ,and I’m still growing,it’s a life process .Acceptance is. Key for me ,and my main problem is completely letting go and giving up ,it’s like for me the challenge growing up if I gave something my all 100% . I’d get an A. I need to let my self be ok with giving 100% and not getting an A . If that makes any sense. And move on let go and be ok and happy and let it be a learning experience. Some how have an end .... let go of the hope that I always seem to hold on too.maybe it’s just part of the grief process,it’s so good to see your face and here your voice and words of encouragement Jack !They are always healing for me much love 🙏🏻😇🥰❤️🌹

Thank You Sooooo Much! Totally agree #JackButler...I feel more available and renewed just from hardships I learned through this event.....more in reality of what a real relationship should be like....Yes! mental health was thrown off badly

I find writing helpful to hear my inner dialogue and understand other people's perspectives and interpretations.

Oo, possible topic idea if you haven't done it already - what are the top 5 most efficient questions to ask a person to find out if they're available for partnership? I like to ask them about their family (see how they talk about others) and ask general questions about how they see people and the world. I also ask about what they think are the best parts of being in a relationship (to see if they have any comments on partnership or if it's hard for them to say anything because they know I might not like their answer). I also tend to ask a few feelings questions to see if they feel are able to comment on their own emotional response/thought process/emotional experiences.

Perfectly timed. Thank you ❤️

Great, practical recommendations. Thank you 😊

Hi Jack, Actually I have been doing all those points you mentioned for a few years, before I even watched your video :-). It has been 4,5 years since no contact. Seems pretty long. Yet I still dreamt about him at night and sometimes / often thought about him during a day. Years ago, sex with this guy was incomparable to nothing, he was very caring and kind to me, complementing me and so on. As for the looks, on a scale from 1 to 10, he was like 12 or even 15. Maybe that's why when I was going on some seldom dates, I was never falling for anyone. (Btw: we haven't actually even split, he just works abroad and it was longer and longer periods, and I wasn't willing to move to another country with him, he was also too shy to suggest me that upfront, he was only leaving me some undercover breadcrumbs to do it). My problem is, I fall for hunks only (even worse: for my peculiar type only). Recently I accidentally met another like 12 out of 10 guy and... This was the first time when I made myself sober over the previous guy! I feel guilty and ashamed for falling for hunks only, plus I'm already 44 and I should grow up finally. Btw: With this new hot guy, I haven't started anything yet, but I'm both attracted to him and want to finally make myself sober over the hit looks guys. I was talking about this immaturity of myself to my psychotherapist, and she said there is nothing wrong in this behavior... Yet I truly think there is. My dad was always handsome, so I most likely keep on repeating this faulty "father figure" behavior. There might be probably something related to Oedipal syndrome. Except for that, I am a successful person at work, health, wealth, fitness, personal development and so on. As per my therapist, I am a high-functioning individual with anxiety issues. And finally a question: do you know how to overcome this propensity of myself to handsome guys only?

This is really going to help me. Thank you so much! I’m going to tell him that tomorrow I want to go no contact for 30 days. I need it

Love your genuineness!

Wow thank you so much . Wisdom

Please can you add captions to all your videos? For hard of hearing audiences or Deaf thanks

Perfect . Thank you 🙏

Like always. Great advice. Love you jack! Ty. I wish I could afford you one on one contact. Ugh!!!!!!

Hey Jack. Thank you so much for this video. It helped. I wonder which video is the next one you recommended since it didn't show on the screen when you pointed to the corner?☺️

You are amazing.

Thanks again, Jack. Helpful tips but what if we work together! Any tips on that.

I need to make time for myself..this was a great video for me. I need to cultivate things in my Life that are self fulfilling friendships and activities that are healthy .I've been divorced now 15 years. Haven't really done the proper inner work .I'm ready for self Improvement and wanting to develop friendships that grow and maybe find that special one for me for partnership 💗 Thank you Jack!!

🏹Amazing topic ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Love this .... thanks xx

Wonderful video 🌞 thank you 🙏🏼

I think it's not so much about the mere fact that you are thinking of your ex as it is about _how_ and _what_ you're thinking. Break-ups are major and usually complex and it's important, imo, to *process everything that comes to mind.* You won't grow any better than before if you hide from true feelings and the questions they lead to. In the thirteen years since my husband waltzed off there's not a day where I haven't thought about him - and I'm fine with that because it's given me many insights, including tough stuff where seeing how I was no picnic came into play, as well as seeing how imperfect he was. It's different for everybody so there's no manual.

I love everything you said you awesome and handsome

I really needed this video. It’s been difficult but this gives me a road map and getting through this seems much more feasible. Thank you!

Thank you Jack as always you are right in point. Hearing you before i go to sleep its healing meditation. Heard you say about surrender, could you make a video on that? Oprah talk about it how she surrender and got her acting role. Nowadays we crave love so badly and spend our time talking and engaging in dating that we forget to stop a minute and just surrender. Maybe its trust issues? Tnx👌⚘

It's been 6 months..I find it hard accepting the truth. There's a push pull dynamic between us.. have been to therapists, tried writing poetry, but I only write about him. I don't have friends or support group. I have noone to talk to..I use work to fill the void he created..but I really need is supportive loving friends. My loneliness is the major reason I go back to him, inspite of him being abusive, rude and arrogant. I ve been reading and watching videos on UTube which are helpful to some extent..but I fail everytime I try to let go.

We have blocked each other and don't follow each other on social media.

Hello jack!

Hi Jack 👋 Did this..i said holidays and bday are ok or if he's wants to reconcile. Was this ok to add? Tks for your advice, you ar such a great guy, Gbless, in Jesus name, Amen ✝️✌🙏♥️😉🤗

How do i stop when my ex just became my HEAD BOSS AT WORK AND I HAVE TO TALK TO HIM EVERYDAY

I know all those words of wisdom are gold but I could watch it all just bcoz you're hot Jack! Love from India ❤

I moved areas to be closer to my ex (we were together for 3 years) and then a week and a half later he broke up with me via text. I went no contact, but I am now surrounded by places that have memories associated to him. They're constant reminders of him and I can't always avoid them. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Was in bad marriage 27 years... ignored rejected and isolated so have a FWB but am obsessing and can’t get him off my mind but need to let him go! Not sure how to make friends at my age. Live in one town work in another and at 61 I have found dating sites horrible. Need to figure out how to get out more!

What to do if the person you are trying to go no contact with works with you ? If they are constantly asking you questions like why and will you reconsider?

how to avoid involuntary thoughts that pop in my head? what i do is distract myself to snap out of it. is that enough? what if hes manifesting that i obsses? how can i stop that?

He's a widower of 4yrs, said I was h is first real interest and hasn't had any romantic encounter since we met.. He experiences bouts of mourning yet. He told me he was ready to give it a try with me.. Photo of our 1st meet is jis profile pic and its still there. Does this mean he remains to have feelings but feels some guilt yet 🤔

Hey Jack you are so handsome,beautiful eyes.Dream men.

So I am dealing with an ex in the last few days. I am at the point where I am think about my part even though the deal breaker was something he did. My question is when I am on my own having that week moment of not necessarily calling him but omg this happened to me I am so sad starting from zero again anxiety what do you recommend? How do you quiet the mind? Breading techiques? Focussing on the environment you are in? Affirmation?

What if he is your neighbour? How do I erase him without moving house ? I love my house and I just moved here 🥺

What can I do if he is my boss?

Hi Jack..i met this guy sometime in 2021 and we had a very good connection in 4 months. he broke up with me as i called out his unacceptable behavior..he tends to disappear without an explanation and i went NC for 3 months and he just recently reached out.. and i never ignore him..Since the reached out i noticed the same patterns..started to breadcrumbing me..i was so confused..he even suggested to discuss the issues happened in the past but this discussion will be depend on his availability due to workload.. i just stopped responding to his text..will NC still work?

I'd love to see a video about how to be the best partner to someone who maintains a (largely electronic) friendship with his/her ex: what conditions make this friendship ok? What boundaries must be set? How do you know when this relationship is benign or threatening? (And thank you for your thoughtful videos.)

I work with him 😔

EYE Movement Desensitization Reprocessing Therapy

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So sick of guys betraying guys