It’s crazy, but unless you have actually survived a narcissistic relationship, you don’t understand how literal so much of what you just said is. It just sounds so metaphorical and so philosophical if a person takes away the knowledge of their own experiences of being “sacrificed” lol

I’m literally at the end of this I have detached from my family. My parents are at the extreme ends of this spectrum

It's really amazing we survive this.

Dude: attention is their supply.

I discarded the narcissist almost 12 months ago, however, I still feel like the sacrificial lamb/used and very much unwanted broken washing machine. The addiction and obsession to him is real. He rewired my brain chemistry and undoing the rewire is so tough. I know I am culpable in my part of the relationship. I’ve faced my demons. He exposed all my flaws and weaknesses and I didn’t like it. I’ve taken a long hard look at myself in the mirror. I’m trying to put the pieces of my life slowly back together. These relationships are complex and ultimately cruel. As you say Richard we were all doomed from the very beginning. There was only ever going to be one outcome. The narcissist blows up all their relationships. He even talked about burning his bridges with me early in 2023 before I discarded him and ultimately that’s exactly what he did. Thanks for your video and the education about exactly what it is we’re dealing with! Tough but necessary lessons!

I think for a narcissist, their first human sacrifice is their own authentic self. They had to sacrifice themselves to survive the abuse from their parents/environment

I had a dream about a narc person in my life. We were children, sitting side by side on a high wall over water. I told them I was scared. They ignored me and wouldn’t admit they were scared too. Just an empty nothingness, not even a real child response of admitting reality or fear.

I think I had the most evil of them all. You would be sick if you heard what I've been through but good news is I got away. I'm still alive despite his best efforts and I've found your therapy and I'm healing ❤🎉

Well, my divorce finalized last Friday from my covert, vulnerable, and intensely narcissistic wife. I left with nothing material, gave it all to her... but I do now have peace, and it feels so good. I pleaded with her for 3 years not to fight so I wasn't about to willingly engage in a fight in a public court room. I'm at peace. And I'm so thankful to this channel and Richard for educating me through my ordeal. I'm unsubscribing because I don't want reminders of what I went through that led to me having to educate myself. Wish you all the best in your journey out of toxicity.

I've come out the other side and I'm thriving now, just got myself a car too! Your words have gotten me far this last 18 months, so thank you 👍

The thing about people who ride in your blindspot, you know where they are without looking at them.

My 27 year long marriage in one revealed cycles of about 3-5 years push push push to the point I would leave starved, barely able to walk, scared to breathe not even knowing why I left, why I’m living with my family again. Severe stockhausen type thing was it? with selected amnesia - so wierd. I’m a different person now. The person I was before I met.

I remember in the midst of it all I thought I was in a cult style friendship and wondered if those exist

I forgot about DARVO. That’s what I was looking for last night when trying to explain an experience I’ve been having.

I thought I was the only one who missed out on the love bombing phase 😂

it's stunning how similar the upbringings of codependents and narcs actually are - the codependent at least has a way out with the gift of self-awareness...

I had a dream in the beginning of relationshit of my ex narc he was a demon and he took a bite out of (my butt) and smiled as he chewed me up! It was a warning ‼️ I cancelled our wedding 2 weeks before the date last summer he was picking lots of huge fights (which wasnt unusual ) I felt myself break that day and I ran as fast away as I could and moved out!! I literally felt like i had fought off the devil!! Then I was praying to break all the chains off me by him and I swear I felt like I fought off 6000 demons that night to break free of his curse 😮‍💨 God has my back tho and sending me literal signs of it. I’m slowly getting stronger May God bless you and thank you for your help Richard you’ve helped me so much through the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. I will donate to you on my payday! 💕

I just found you chanel and I must say your words are powerful. Thank you for your time and dedication to help others in pain and alleviate the suffering and also understant their fealings.

Totally agree they lock away all your bads at the start. You think you are getting away with things until they unleash the hell you created onto you.

This is bloody brilliant.

That was a poetic ending to your talk. The live chat were having kittens. A waiting for godo moment.

It's sad when you realize how they were raised and who they were raised by and you realize they just do what was did to them .. devaluation is the worst feeling in he world I can't imagine a child having to live through that constant cycle 😢

The shephard is the slaughterer.Continually.Pull push

Richard, this ritualistic sacrifice aspect is extremely interesting. As if ancient, archaic societal practises and forms now would move into the psyche and work from there. Also as stations of personality developement. Narcissism rhymes with theocratic, primitive cultures of lower kind...

Could it be that they never got the chance to explore and embrace the bad side of themselves ?

You are absolutely bang on hit the nail on the head . my mother brother and sister are absolutely like this .grandiose and vulnerable narcissists. They are the sickest most damaging people to be reared by. But I got battered mentally emotionally and spiritually and had my own narcissism from my own upbringing and later in life I loved someone so deeply that the wall came down and I experienced depression and a nervous breakdown which changed me. I'm receiving trauma therapy now and I can see all you are saying is so true and so well explained. Your videos made me go to therapy and have some compassion for myself finally. I was really messed up by my narcissistic family. I was the scapegoat out of 12 people. So I questioned myself and was I a narcissist. Yes at times i was but facing my own despair brought back my own love and my own heart. Narcissist people can have a collapse and heal.but it's rare

His Book the Cult of One is Great

Oh my words - I have been in a narcissistic relationship for 10 years now unaware of it - I am beyond grateful for all your videos and all the advices - you saved my life ❤️

I love how you break it all down. The awareness creates understanding and facilitates healing.

I had 43 years of living with a narcissist ....I got out!! Wow!....soooo true what you are saying.

Bravo! This is brilliant!! Five years I’ve tried to understand the narcissists in my life and admittedly my own narcissistic tendencies in reaction to abuse and this metaphorical exploration brought it home experientially.

If they cry for days because their car was stolen, but wonder why everyone is so upset about the family dog dying, that's a sign. And, it's not a good sign my friends.

Splitting, fusing perfect definition . TY. I continue my research on a 24 yr marriage. I am out now and am grateful for my inquisitive search to understand a situation that never changed. At 73 yrs young I have glorious hope for a bright future thanks to these definitions. I understand addiction & narcissism are about a 60% cross over. His last relapse was metabolic steroids. It was a ride like no other.

Absolutely spot on! I’ve experienced this with a few narcs! The last one was my daughter in law! She’s highly intellectual- almost genius so I heard! Well my son’s under her spell now! I TOTALLY get what you are describing! When I was 16- I read a good book that describes these narcs; called “The Peter Pan Syndrome”! Written by a psychiatrist- dead now though! But your description is absolutely magnificent! Please keep these coming! Need these intellectual teachings- brilliant; THANKYOU!🎉🎉🙏🙏

The end was...no words to describe. I listened to this video 3 times, but the end made me understand what you really mean about a narcissist, omg, there is just something love can't touch. I see what you mean now, thank you for sharing this knowledge! My boss at work is a narcisist, i've still got about a year left in this trap of a place. Should I do everything to get out faster, she will be signing all my references?

10000000% accuracy wow, and this new interpretation of childhood splitting by all good all bad by ego maniac parent is new and sounds much more fitting than previous videos where it was always suggested they were abused emotionally or physically. Very informative and eye opening new material. Keep it up and thank you so much for all of your pioneer work dear friend, salam!

I see this so clearly. I merged with a narcissist at 16. I felt powerful and protected but also frightened of abandonment by him. I danced to his tune and believed he couldn’t live without me. Every part of my life was all about how he would perceive me so I became him. I became split, I became a person who needed more attention than him. I wanted to prove I was the only one for him by mirroring everything he liked but also trying to frighten him into not leaving me. I know I’m not a narcissist but I truly did live similar to one for a considerable amount of time. I also split from him and went out with other guys and made them fall for me, which was really him as I had mirrored a lot of his tactics. I know this sounds really disturbing but I have got out and found myself as I really did not like me at all when all this was going on. Stupidly I thought being like that was the way to his heart but now at 50 and years of living in denial I’ve broken that bond. I’m still very interested in this as I know now how I was so easily manipulated and brainwashed was my deepest desire for acceptance more so than his. Hope this makes sense and thank you for your information as I would’ve never have got to this peaceful place without it 😊

I can relate to all you share Richard. Makes so much sense. Gives closure to what can't be. Lol ..... Experienced all the above! Grateful that I am here ......

Awesome info, Richard!✨️🌞

What a terrifying end! Seriously. Chills and absolute gratitude that I no longer have to deal with that thinking. Thank you for reminding me how wonderful life is single 😊❤❤❤

sacrifice is for getting the intense emotional reaction from the target. This is the sadistic behaviour about. Unfortunately I know. Thank you Richard! I was doing your course, building discipline, had helped a lot. Not on the early stage, because while I was going for my power walks in the morning on the most wonderful beach in Zakynthos, he was following me... Getting an insane rage out of me :) But I done again later without him. Looking forward to your other course.

I’m not exploring narcissistic abuse- I survived it. Imagine “splitting as in really the personality splits- then you have to deal with one plus two plus three narcissists in the same brain- same body- and one is so obsessed with you they impersonate real and dead people in fake accounts stalking you impersonating you for years. Now I work with children hoping that we can heal their trauma before it’s the point of no return. We have a shot before puberty. Dont date anyone on the internet- A narcissist is charming- but because their brain is stunted they make the same mistake now in the first five minutes. Their good cop bad cop routine no longer works. Thank you for your exercise. I’ve viewed three videos today, for research in helping children here in Texas dealing with abusive trauma- That’s the real fight and where God wants us to concentrate.

It’s as if you’re going from Heaven to Hell … It has taken a few decades, but when the discard followed, I guess I was the ultimate sacrifice : broken mentally ánd physically. Still tryin to find my way back from hell, and finally I know I will succeed. Your words and video’s helped me understand a lot. You put together a lot of pieces in my puzzle, for which I’m very grateful 🙏

Both my partner and his brother achieved becoming professors and wrote books that are published. Both arrogant but the most damaged was the youngest. A doting mother and a tirrent of a father. Neither could accept any criticism of their behaviour. The love bombing was extreme as was the abuse. I believe in Richard's explanation of splitting and brain damage. Ty so much. I'm much better with councilling and time

Watch this multiple times!! It reveals deep insights! And healing potential!

Broken, they brake you. I was crying non stop. I was in the fetal I was howling. Betrayal the discard was so so bad. Scarred for life. Ripped apart , slowly putting oneself together. I am triggered I am hurt so bad I’m crying now

Perfect summary of what this matrix is all about. Richard you are a legend

fascinating and painful insights.

Excellent explanations & insights Richard, thank you 🙏🏼

Shrug shrug wasn't I great hoover! 🙈 Thank you for explaining all these things Richard especially the splitting. Yes I still don't understand why they had to be so cruel such torture and violence. And I was always told I asked for it and made him do it, until I believed it myself. 🕊

This is the best description I've ever heard of this complex process. 💯 I'm currently taking your course, Forward Focus the 30 Day Challenge and, Summoning The Self, and I highly recommend them to EVERYONE!! 💯🙌

I think the devaluation occurs after the narcissist realises they won you over and you didn't retain your boundaries..l think losing yourself in this relationship no longer creates a challenge to the narcissist..in the beginning when l had boundaries l definitely know l was respected more.. They mimic the opposing parents..in my case the mother was full of love and the father was a military man not capable of love ..so once they have you hook line and sinker you disgust them.. He mimicked his loving adoring mother in the beginning and then became his despicable father in the end so l believe they don't like how you make them feel once they own you..the process is complete they are now their father hence wanting new supply to start the process once again.. After all where did they learn this behaviour in the first place..

well, if they really are that bad and evil, maybe they need to be eliminated. is it eliminate or be eliminated? then fair is fair. i've just realized recently that a substantial narc formerly in my life, has epitomized nearly every deadly sin, which some refer to as literal demons, and i haven't ruled that out myself because when i look back at a variety of narcs, at times when they've been obviously nasty, they all have the same sort of character, if it can even be called that. spirit, in them, speaking thru them. my mom had one attached to her, that came out thru neighbours/friends. like a devil on her shoulder. gossipy. judgmental, projecting. sows conflict with covert manipulaation, etc. man, it's so hard to express, richard you sure do a great job of it! in short, it's spiritual. the "god" being sacrificed to is a demon, satan, the dark lord. has to be. narcissists are just meat suits inhabited by demons, that's why there is no real character!

For me one of your best videos. You explain it as I expierienced it. I just felt this subconsciously and you put that subconsciously feeling in words! I hear your words and feel home!! Home in a way that I know that’s what happens to me. And that what explains me this confusion, cognitive Dissonanz…. Etc. I was in! And it shows me that inside me( may it be the compass that’s in every soul that come to life in a human body) there is a compass which guides me through this dark expierience to see how it works if a human beeing thinks I am god! I am all mighty! And this compass makes me get trough this expierience to show me the power of love. Love sets me free!

People assume that when we are born we are born whole. What they don’t realise is, from the moment of conception we are split.

I'm suffering from narcissistic abuse right now night and day along with the hate crime and damage he's doing to my property.Hes a neighbour who lives across the road his son is a police man who lives next door to them. He has burgled my home and stolen from me.His son has used manipulation to make me at fault.

Grateful for how you break things down. Supply. Supply. Supply. They don’t have value inside of them… that’s the need to break others down , so they don’t feel alone… as well as their needing admiration. Yes!!!! They don’t want love! They want the appearance of love- however they view it that day/moment. Blessit. 🙄

UNBELIEVABLE YES EXACTLY. BEWILDERING TRAPPED.

I remember at some point in that madnes I started to sing a song Is just a Ilusion don't know name of group.

Absolutely spot on. You have best described the gut wrenching experience of a narcissist and his pawn. Having some understanding of a narcissist background helps to strengthen ones willpower to not get sucked back into the hurricane.

Having self respect and journalling really helped me along with Richards literacy course .My cptsd is now tamed down alot.Thanks Richard !

Brilliantly insightful description.

Richard, as always, thank you for sharing your wisdom, experience, and expertise! ✌❤🌎

Thank you Richard. I appreciate the recap. I took your advice and took a long break from narcissistic videos and ideals. But it is nice to re educate in times of stress or flashbacks. Thanks for keeping me grounded on this. Appreciate you.

Great video, I could exactly recall the feeling of "fusing and merging" in my past experience with a high defensive couvert partner and I remember how I felt like "in a movie" the first 9 months until I discovered his dark side, but it took years until I could break out of the trauma bonding. Gracias 🙏🏻🌷

Brilliant. Eloquent. Naillled it!

Elegantly and insightfully articulated

The content been waiting for 🙌🙌🙌 explained with psychology. Powerful 🙌🙌🙌 I really wish it didn’t bother me so much, what’s happened to their Soul’s but it does.

Just went another round...I think the last. I learned a lot..and it is valuable. My sister is a professional victim. She lays down on the train tracks, then waits till everyone is terrified and then sees who will save her. Financially and emotionally. High end blaming if it seems some don't care about her. Because it's all about caring about her. She is willing to go extreme....to get this response. Being in a church...lots of response there! $$ Hoping I have learned enough now.

Exact! Ty for the words and explanation of what I'm experiencing currently and have been slowly healing from. I have occasional mudslides back into the "iron claw". This is a "no joke" human experience that will take you under if you are in a position of not comprehending the psychological headf*ckery. I'm not able to put my own words into use yet to express my explanation, the words will eventually be able to surface I'm certain, healing for now. I appreciate listening to your knowledge, it's relatable to me and definitely has been helping me "resuscitat" myself. 💞

Wow spot on. I’ve always had an issue with the common talk on the devaluation stage. Now I would say this is advanced understanding but once you’ve been through one of these relationships and spent the 100’s of hours on getting your KZfaq “phd” on NPD and BPD this is just so spot on. When I met her day one it was love at first sight and we both said and felt we met the one we were to marry. I didn’t think or know love at first sight was or could be real. I literally felt I had met my wife to be and she was everything that I had been holding out for. I’d say we were both enamored by each other and yes the love bombing, gifts, acts of service, and physical and emotional connection overtook me immediately. But by the 2nd date, I was humiliated, devalued and discarded by the 3rd date. I told her the most personal details about my life because she was pressing and I NEVER share what I shared with her. I thought she was going to be my wife though so I was vulnerable and trusted her enough to share these certain details of my life only to be screamed and cussed at and to be told I was “the biggest f*in liar and to get the f out of her apartment and how she doesn’t deal with f*in liars and how there’s no way what I told her could possibly be true and to get the f out.” I was so blindsided and confused by her response to what I told her I was almost speechless and all I could manage to say was “are you sure you want me to leave? Cuz once I walkout then I’m gone.” She screamed “yes. I don’t deal with f*in liars. Get the f out.” So while in a state of shock and confusion I gathered my things and walked out the door, got into my vehicle and drove off. I had never experienced anything like that in my whole entire life and I thought that was it and at any other time through my entire life that would have been it and I never would have looked back. That whole experience was so foreign to me. But not even 10 mins later my phone starts ringing. And ringing and ringing and text message after text message starts coming through. “I’m so sorry” she said. “I’ll never do that again. Please come back. Please. I’m so sorry please give me another chance. I don’t know what happened.” Again at this point in my life I had never really blocked anyone’s phone number or been in a position to where I truly had to. So the calls continued and so I finally picked up and talked to her and she somehow convinced me not to go home and to come back to her apartment and how “that will never happen again.” And like the naive and unaware fool I was behaving like I listened to her and I went back. Then over the next month there were numerous get out you this and that and was told how horrible I was but then that was quickly an “I’m sorry please come back.” And over and over again. It’s embarrassing to admit this but she ended our relationship over 75+ times over a 3 year period and put me through the most horrific time of my life. Yet I kept coming back. I’m now coming up on almost 6 months since I blocked her and went no contact for good. So I say and share all that to say that yes I’ve always had a problem with the Narc Abuse Recovery community saying they love bomb and build you up for some time and then they devalue and discard you eventually. No she had done it ALL upon our 2nd real face to face contact. She didn’t devalue and discard me 6 months into the relationship. She did it immediately. I have never experienced an evil treatment like this from someone. I didn’t know someone could behave and treat someone like this. Oh how wrong I was though. I also didn’t know that I could behave how I did as well. I never in my whole life would ever accept treatment like this. But I did here. I completely lost myself. I became completely unrecognizable to the people who know me. Many nights clinging on to life. Heartbroken, physically and mentally assaulted, lies to the police and more lies and gaslighting and manipulation and some how I always held on to the belief that she could get better and treat me better and for longer that 3-7 days at a time. I held on to the belief that she truly loved me and we were going to get married and one day she was just gonna be better and I was gonna be better. Eventually I became toxic. Reactive abuse is a very real thing. Through time I ended saying and doing things that I never would have imagined possible. I had never even called a woman the “b” word before meeting her. But yea after breakup 50 and after being punched in the face and screamed at and told f you in every variation possible, yea I would snap back and say f you back or whatever. Eventually I was saying mean or calling her names right back. I was so lost and broken and yet the thing that was causing me so much hurt and pain was the only thing that also made me feel better. She would assault me or just end it and kick me out and block me or whatever and then her emails would start of “why can’t love win?” “We should be laying next to each other right now.” “We should be cuddling and making love.” “This isn’t right.” And nowhere in there would there ever be an apology. Just a “how wrong it was that we weren’t together.” And I would think to myself “yea you’re right this is wrong. Her punching me in the face while telling me I’m the biggest piece of 💩 on the planet and the scum of the earth and how she hates me and wishes she never met me and would throw me out. Yea that is wrong and yea that’s why we aren’t laying in bed together.” But email after email from her and eventually she would hook me back in just to do similar type things over and over again till I finally had the strength to block her. And now it’s been almost 6 months. The struggle is real though. It was like living in a horror movie. And now 6 months later I’ve made a lot of progress at times but I still don’t know how to stop being in love with her. The struggle is real. I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. You are so right about the devaluing starting immediately though. Thank you for your channel. Your content has helped me make sense of things and helped me through some really dark times. You are helping so many people. So thank you from all of us. 🙏😂

You are so onto it Richard 👌

Great video! Thank you ❤

You can never put too much milk in somone with ptsds tea.. they are honestly just glad to have it🎉

🙏🏾Thank you Richard. You’re having an outstanding hair day, and I just shaved mine to look like Yul Brenner. This video explained so much of my life with my covert narcissist ex wife. 👏🏾👏🏾just wow. I follow you & Professor Sam Vaknin Thank you Richard 🙏🏾💪🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Never had this explained like this before, but yeah some pretty SICK SHIT🧐💯💥

I gain so much validation listening to the real experiences and knowledge and also the comments of other survivors...it's such an equalizing feeling...ie: we are equal with each other. by no one is coming around to be 'better than". I absolutely agree with the limited knowledge of the splitting ...it does get discussed but I think it can definitely be shared more.because its integral of what creates...the narcissistic scapegoated child and golden child that perpetuates more abuse child abuse and builds another narc..as well as another empathetic healing person able to contribute to others lives in society is devalued drained raged at ,dragged down and the parents sabotage this child's life at every turn.... but the narcissistic supply...with I believe who is a sociopathic narcissist...is they don't need admiration as much as they need the sadistic enjoyment of the manipulation that leads to the target being made to suffer and through torturous means....it doesn't need to be physical..it can obviously be all other means of controlling the target...and without the coercive control recognition I think it makes it so hard for abuse to be recognized when the entire use legal system..only sees physical harm as being equal to abuse..and everything else isn't important or even acknowledged as soul termination....

I shit you not- my ex literally reworked a love song he had written whilst we were together, into symbolising a Mayan Sacrifice after we split up, and he put his new girlfriend laughing on the end of it.

It’s like a merry go round all day long,good and bad loud and peaceful,it’s a ride that makes me dizzy😎

Thank you very much for sharing. You are amazing. Please do let us know whe there will be your next in person seminar. I would love to attend.

I don’t think a narcissist realizes they’ve already been sacrificed

Amazingly insightful, as always Richard, and also deeply disturbing! Would love to see a video by you about narcissism and addictions/alcoholism. I know they are very similar.

Most helpful!!!! Gratitude!!!

I miss that tool! Spot on

Got it! Perfectly functioning appliances. Im well out but good luck to everyone here. U

I saw this quote a while ago. "Those on the outside looking in can't understand it. Those on the inside looking out can't explain it "

Why do some children who grow with narc parents go the other way as adults into people pleasers?

Very good video 🎉🎉🎉

Unfortunately I kept hold of the bad, my mum is a narcissist and my dad is a Psychopath.....I'm very lucky I'm not a narcissist myself ❤❤

I have never seen anyone being able to describe the true description of why they do what they do better than this

This was brilliant. Might i add my 2 cents about "supply?" I dont think they always need this TREMENDOUS applause and admiration. I think that being told, "Oh mr narcissist (by unwitting supplie) "you're so smart", or "funny" or "oh my...you give such good advice!" Or "Youre an awesome good listener"....(crap like that) can be just as fulfilling to their emptiness. I dunno... Just spitballing here Richard. Cheers. Christi

Spot on

Thank you.

"Reciprocal relationship" future focus, even if it's with yourself.

Brilliant Richard. Just brilliant. Wow. I can only imagine how crazy this must sound to someone who has never experienced such utter nonsense. I am pleased and sad at the same time that I understood every part of this video. It's amazing how you are speaking such truth about this disorder, like giving TRUTH to my past relationships/experiences, shining a light of exposure, of clarity. The Aztec sacrifice analogy was really eye opening. Hit me straight between my eyes. Especially the part about living in bliss before being sacrificed, knowing that the doom is coming. What's also amazing, is that you so eloquently spoke about all of this, all whilst still remaining in some sort of compassion for the NPD, Without completely demonizing them. So well done. 🙌♥️🙌

DANKIE RICHARD 🎉🌎🐘🌍🙌 CAPETOWN SUID-AFRIKA 🎉🎉

💫Hello Richard.

Lisa romano is brilliant on narcs.

He's been in a few messed up relationships he's good

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