🧠🧠finish listening to ALL the stories here kzfaq.info/sun/PL5FcevqxOz5tuU1qghkOUcBqGKHKXHO0f instagram - @amithejerk twitter - @amithejerk

I once worked at a restaurant and a new manager was not fond of smokers taking smoke breaks during certain hours, regardless of whether it was busy or not during those times. Of course, it woukd have been a fire hazard to lock the back door that led to the smoking area, but there was an alarm on it that everyone knew about, although it was never set until after we closed nightly. He started turning the alarm on during his "no-smoke" hours and whenever someone tried to sneak out and smoke, the alarm would sound alerting the manager who was the only one with a key that would shut it off. One particularly slow day, i casually went to step out, having forgotten all about the alarm as it had worked and nobody had triggered it fir a while. Instantly the alarm sounded and without hesitation, i ran around the building and entered the front door. Then walked back to the door with the manager, like "yeah, lets see who opened it this time, smh" lol

Story #25 at 18:40 is an extremely common form of cheating in online chess known as "engine assistance". Kids think they're being geniuses, but they're actually just ruining online chess for everyone. And it's fairly easy to detect too, so your account will get banned.

The most genius strategic move I've ever seen comes from my time in the Marine Corps. We had a guy who was about to go to a new unit in North Carolina (adjacent to my unit at the time) and the guy had a habit of hanging around the admin section of his old unit frequently (admins are the guys who do all the paperwork). He wanted to use a couple more days of leave than he had available, and saw an opportunity to do so. One day he saw an unattended computer that one of the admin officers was already logged into, and *administratively* relocated and checked himself into his new unit, so, on paper, he was already there. When he left the old unit, he figured he'd take advantage of the free extra time he had and stayed a little while longer than expected. Normally, after 30 days of being gone without authorization, this would flag someone as a *deserter.* They'd stop getting paid, and officially become a fugitive of the law with a warrant for their arrest. Lucky for him, he was going to a big unit who never even noticed that he never showed up for duty. *He was gone for 2 and a half years, getting paid the entire time, plus a reenlistment bonus, and he actually got promoted in the system twice!* The only reason I know about this story is because the guy got cold feet and went back to the new unit (hoping they wouldn't notice) and he tried to just report in like the whole desertion thing never happened. When his record was missing some essential paperwork, the whole thing unraveled becoming the best story of service espionage I've ever even heard about. The real kicker is... if he didn't try to come back, he'd have just passed the end of his contract date, and made his way out of the Marine Corps with an honorable discharge and over $80,000 of money the Marine Corps assumed he worked for.

In a game of command & conquer, my friend made just a little bit more units than I did. He would coming and his units and my units would pretty much kill each other. My nuke would be done just before his super laser. As he attacked, i tossed the nuke on my own base and baited him to put his units at ground zero. The rest of my army went on the attack and i won the game.

I rented a place near Seattle with a coworker of mine. There were some grumblings at work about him but I was desperate to find a place and hadn't been at the job long enough to trust anyone's word about him. BIG MISTAKE. He turned out to be the most manipulative person I have ever met. We agreed originally to splitting rent 60/40 in a 2br/2bath apartment, which was fair since I'd be moving in with my gf and we'd get the master bedroom with an attached bath while he'd get the smaller bedroom with detached bath. It comes time to move in and he tells me, "so I owe you $500, right?", which would've been barely a quarter of rent. I tell him no and he starts going on about how he's got the smaller room and how he should only have to pay a quarter of the rent since my gf has a cat... he thinks my gf's cat is worth a quarter of the rent.. we get into a big fight and he finally agrees to pay a third of the rent. In the two months I managed to live with him: - he refused to pay anything towards the renters insurance/utilities since they were in my name - he regularly ate my food because "it was in the shared space" - he tried to get HIS GF to move in without contributing anything towards rent - he turned the new roommate, who i found to replace me on the lease, against me because he told the guy I was trying to swindle him into paying way more than the rest of us even though that was his idea. - The second month he trapped me in my room and told me he doesn't have to pay anything and then called the police when I shoved him out of my space. This resulted in me being charged with domestic violence which he then used for further leverage. I confided in the property manager about everything that had happened and we made a plan to have everyone sign the new lease and she wouldn't finalize it until the end of the month when I planned to move out. A few days later on Thanksgiving night, him and the new roommate confronted me in the living room, where I was now living, saying I need to move out that night. I told him no, that I had paid the most amount of rent and I would be staying until the end of the month. He told me that I've already signed away my rights with the lease and that he'll call the police to flex the DV charges if I don't leave right now. I told him that the new lease isn't finalized until the 1st and that I WILL BREAK THE LEASE and screw everyone if he tries to force me out. This was my genius moment. Realizing my checkmate, he starts throwing a fit and says he'll suit me if I do that. The new roommate realized he chose the wrong team and retreats to his room. He starts crying and asks if I can move out any sooner because his gf wants to move in that week 🤣🤣. I tell him no and he goes back to his room. After that happened, I took my name off all utilities and renters insurance and cranked the heat up all the way every day. On the last day, I poured all of the dish soap and detergent in the dish washer and left the sinks running all day. I called the apartment complex years later to confirm the dates I lived there for a job and they asked if I knew when the previous tenants would be "paying off the substantial balance left on the lease". No idea, buddy. I guess I wasn't the problem after all.

Cheating with a chess engine is not intelligent.

The one about the fast-track ticket at the theme park reminds me of when I went to Alton Towers with my friends and we bought fast-track tickets for the big rides. Oblivion, the best one, for some reason, the attendants didn't take our tickets when we went on it and we went on the ride four times in a row before they took the tickets off of us. The fast-track queue was next to the normal queue and I distinctly recall some salty guy getting frustrated with us as we kept walking past him every 5 minutes talking about how amazing the the ride was while he probably waited for 2 hours for one go. The other ones we only got one go on with our fast-track tickets

The chess one near the end is actual genius and I can imagine it teaches you how to play too

17:20 BIL was doing some sort of business course 10-15 years ago, which had a unit involving learning about the stock market. Early in the unit the students were told to write down what shares they'd buy if they had $10,000. Stock prices would be checked again at the end of the unit, and whichever student's "portfolio" performed best would count as automatically passing the final exam. BIL selected a portfolio of highly volatile shares - if their prices were down he'd lose badly, but as there was no downside to the challenge it didn't matter how badly he lost. In the end enough of his choices did well that he won the challenge.

#7 was genius!

Story 1 is basically the plot for needless things by stephen king

14:18 - That Clue trick fooled me once. To be fair, I was like 5 when that happened, and my father was the one to pull it off.

I did something similar to story 18 once but instead of intentionally I had two of the cards and was looking for the third one and my sister thought no had all 3 cards and guessed them and was so shocked when they weren’t right lol😂😂

Igor probably thought he was winning 🏆

Genuinely though, for me, it's being considerate. I do little things all the time that I don't mind doing, which essentially earns me social points that I can then exchange for stuff I actually want, like economy, but human. Volunteering for an afternoon every now and then, sharing vegetables from my garden with my neighbours, always having a cup of tea for anyone who might pop by, being cheerful and greeting people when I see them about town... just positive, human things. And people just... want to help out in return! I've had so much help with things that I'd otherwise never been able to get done without hiring assistance for a buttload of money! Need a petsitter? Retired neighbour doesn't mind. Free tickets to a concert? I'm making the food, so of course I can watch! Want some coffee while out on the town? The volunteer station where I work has fresh coffee any time of day, with cookies or cake to boot! Need to haul a heavy load? Farmer down the road has their tractor already fired up anyway and can be here in 10 in exchange for a cup of coffee. And the fun part is that EVERYBODY wins! I'm not doing it for the perks either, it's FUN to increase the amount of joy in the world, and it's just a happy bonus that people would then love to help me out when the time comes too. I have connections everywhere in my environment, I am surrounded by people who actually appreciate me for my personality, and all I'm getting of that just because I enjoy HELPING PEOPLE!! And this isn't just for extroverts either. I'm an introvert. I work quietly and personably, and I dip after a few hours because I get tired... but that just makes people appreciate it even more! Sincere effort just to make things better. It's genuinely the best habit I've ever gotten into.

The banking story could never happen today with banking laws as they are now.

The gameplay in the background hurts my soul

As an Atheist, I can say that story 13 needs so much more context. Like in what sense did the Atheist become religious? Religious just in the sense of going to church and practicing the tenets of the religion, or religious in the sense of actually being convinced that a God exists? If it was the latter, what convinced him? Was it an argument for God's existence that convinced him? Was it some personal experience? Or did the fact that his wife believe just made him go "well, I guess I believe too now". If so, does he actually believe or is he just saying it (although only he will know that). All in all, there is very little information here.

10:44 Did you just make a SUITS reference?

Typed in White: I'm stealing this idea.

Story 21 sounds BS because the only way an employee gets fired for something like that is if management is utterly garbage and it does not look good for the acquaintance to want to join such ranks. Not to mention. The cameras would have easily caught them rigging the problem resulting in them being in a lot of trouble due to it being a cash draw.

The last story doesn't sound quite right. No limit and no late payment fees doesn't mean the card wouldn't still be stopped if no payments are made. I've heard that story before, and I think what happened is they tried to cancel it even though he _was_ making the payments on time, and so they had no grounds to cancel it.

Yet my girl likes to ask me why I’m not trusting of people 😂

That last one…how does one change the terms of a credit card contract? If it’s that easy why isn’t it more common?

The last one: 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯

It's a shame you didn't do your accents in this one. I've really come to enjoy them a lot.

I don't see how story 20 is a genius move. Despite being in different countries, surprising a loved one from a different region isn't uncommon.

Hmm, don't like #13...

What game is that where you…. bite sharks with a jetplane?

Cluedo is the board game Clue by the way. Different name, same game.

Story 25 is not impressive. It’s called cheating lol.

Nice

It’s actually legal to put money in someone’s account and as long no as the check is legit like say from that same bank also they can cash it. They jus can’t tell you the balance in said account

what game is that gameplay from?

The game in the bg is so distracting. F u physics. Ill flap my wings perpenducular to the ground and still hover

Gameplay?

Tom Hanks just died

Wait, not everyone calls cards that they have? Have y'all been playing clue wrong?

honestly idk if the religious one is christian or not but if it is what an absolute W lol she took a risk tho

Clear your search history every time you get done with your device for the time being, and don’t smile or blush at the screen. Those are two of the main Red Flags for people texting a lover and/or looking at something explicit. I also recommend sitting in a position that makes it difficult to look over your shoulder and/or at your screen; however, don’t do a position that’s wrong for the seat you’re using, or that’s just gonna raise suspicion. Keep a firm tone of voice when questioned; they’re more willing to believe you if you don’t *sound* like you’re lying. Also; this is more likely to work if they’ve never caught you looking at weird shit, and therefore have no reason to suspect it happening again. Or; it’s been a while, and they largely forgot what they saw that time.

The gameplay is honestly really distracting

Personally, I appreciate the lack of accents. The accents take away from the stories and make the videos difficult to follow

Do a Bri’ish vid mate And drink some tea

What a waste of time. Stupid low level management politics and kids riding roller coasters more than once! Oh my!

4 TH NICE

What kind of crap game are you playing? You can't even see cuz the dragons too big and doesn't know how to fly.

first..?

Hi uWu first