Are you a mountain or a beach person?

I agree. Just to keep the relationship going you have to have none of your needs met, live your life like you’re not in a relationship and never ask for anything. While meeting all their needs. I’m just about to throw the towel in on a 7 year relationship because I’m sick being made to feel needy because I want a normal life. It’s not worth it, anyone who reads this, 7 years down the life, it’s not worth it. Don’t really care why he acts like that anymore, just sick of it.

@@jaysee7283 are you a mountain person or a beach person?

​@@jaysee7283 I split after 5 years. I won't lie it is SOOO hard getting used to "normal" things and being without them. After 5 years straight of cold behavior I now have a hard time with people showing me affection 🙃 it feels completely unnatural when people actually want to spend time with me and want to talk to me regularly.... Life after a long term relationship with a DA requires a lot of work to regain yourself but I think it's worth it. It's wild how much damage control ppl need to do post DA relationships and they come out completely unscathed 🥲

@@mrlynn713 I feel exactly the same way. I feel smothered and stressed when someone is actually normal with me, after years of the avoidant I got so damaged and so used of it that I feel like it’s turned me into an avoidant if I want to be with anyone who isn’t one. It honestly has damaged me so much. If feels as you say, completely unnatural when someone tries to treat me normally because I’m not used Ilf it and I don’t like it now. I wish people could no the damage that avoidants can do to you. It’s that bad I just want to be with the avoidant because that’ feels like the only kind of ‘love’ I can take now. Anything more feels like too much. It’s so sad.

All of these replies! I had to go to therapy for two years after a weird breakup with a DA. There is no deep conversation with these people. ANY indication that you are unhappy or need something just goes automatically to them falling off the face of the earth. They act as if you are asking for too much yet when they need support they expect you to be there. Off and on for six years.

👏👏👏👏

I think that happens I don’t get attracted to avoidants anymore now I healed it’ll only work if you both heal simultaneously I think

They are sooooooo much hard work it’s emotionally draining for the none avoidant I suggest you stay clear unless you are the type that thinks “it’s better than having no relationship at all “ & can put up with bucket fills of what maybe interpreted as SELFISH ARROGANT EMOTIONALLY CRIPPLED DEPRESSIVE!!!!😊

I would LOVE to romanticize an Avoidant, the problem, is there (May) be deep routed wounds, or it can be just plain Ole, Narcissistic selfishishness, with a non existent Empathy gene!

@@lunity1111 good to hear that. How did you heal yours? I keep attracting them and did so much self work. Problem is some like my ex come on consistent and dupe you into thinking they are secure. It’s only once you get deeper into the commitment and intimacy their behaviors show

Best comment 🎉 You’re absolutely right.

They definitely do not openly communicate especially about emotions and needs and the relationship.

Omg. 10000%

Yaaaasssss

I feel so validated reading the comments ❤

They overlap with narcissists and even sometimes you get just a dab of antisocial behavior as a cherry on top. If you see a cluster b set of behaviors happening, just run away.

🎯💯💯💯💯🎯 I agree with you It's a complete waste of t6and energy Not worth it

@@racheltania2464 💯🎯

Exactly and often they are both avoidant and narcissistic

@@free2bme604 I can be avoidant sometimes. It's a struggle, but definitely always ready to apologize or reach out to someone who matters to me. When they care, they show us they care. No one ever just accidentally drops someone.

Everyone is different. There is no one personality and way of being that is wrong or right. If they are avoidant that works in tandem with your anxiety which is also another form of controlling. No judgment is what makes relationships work. The first mistake is to think you are better than the other person and not worth your time… wow, who is really at a loss if you leave? Them? No… you proved their point as to why they are avoidant in the first place.

Right on. It's a dead end or a slow torture to the end.

​@@grumpyschnauzerFor real all these comments are so disheartening tbh.

@@joshuarodriguez423 - I understand being compassionate but if these folks aren't dealing with their problems, move on. No one owes anyone a relationship, especially one where you have to put up with this BS

@@IamtheFerryMan Not saying that though of course your right. Just trying to get help and it's almost like why make the effort. Still gonna try though personally.

wow! what a really empathetic way of looking at a group of people who have a disorder from child abuse! i bet you are a gem.

Wow, just wow. You know you just said all that about the guy who uploaded the video, right? I'm going to be charitable and wish you well following your recent break up.

@@OhWell0 hes talking about DA that dont do the work and continue to be vicious borderline narcs, DA that does the work wont be da anymore they lean towards secure....so

@@coolbeans5528 You have no clue what happened to other people in their childhood. Not everyone plays the Victim Card even when they were abused brutally throughout their life while some use abuse as an excuse not to own responsibility and make others traumatized. That's the case of FAs! And its really insensitive on your part to overly judge someone and assuming about their past when you have no idea about their background!

@@godisonelove3557 they classed all avoidants as selfish, unloving and immature. You're the one being insensitive. You're the one disregarding childhood trauma. Put a sock in it and reflect.

Amen

Like an inner voice always said about being PUSHED into that corner by the lose/lose scenario folks, if I'm going to lose I might as well lose my way! "I don't mean to push, but I'm being SHOVED!"--Pearl Jam 'Whipping': kzfaq.info/get/bejne/aMubapuAl6vFqac.html (Not trying some tricky double meaning, it just came out that way looking-wise, but yeah when you're being pushed, you've got to push back when you're getting shoved!)

Yes…it’s a nightmare

Sounds like abusive behavior

No one chooses to suffer this totally world changing dissorder. I’m at this second living in a tent far away from the world and the people in it. It’s such a less than acceptable existence. I just hope it truly drives me to suicide because I don’t know what else to do. The nhs won’t help me. I just wanna die

because people want things they cannot have?

Damn skippy

When their need for space and autonomy are satisfied they are far more likely to strive to satisfy the needs of others. We all have comfort zones and it's important to respect rather than judge the comfort zones of the avoidant as much as we want them to respect our need for intimacy. They can be very accommodating when their needs are respected.

@@deanasmusic1 That’s certainly not true of all avoidance. You can jump through hoops and give them every bit of space they could possibly need. Doesn’t make a difference. I’ll say it again, it’s always about tip toeing around so that they feel like they’re being understood. Then maybe they will throw you a crumb if you’re lucky. Most times however they don’t feel like they need to reciprocate your needs at all. Not healthy. No one deserves that. They are exhausting, hurtful and harmful. If they won’t get help, my advise is run! Far and fast

@@deanasmusic1 is there any limit for this autonomy?

Limit the interaction…..pull back without explanation……get mad when you want to know what the hell is going on

LEAVE ASAP AS YOU CAN DO SOOO MUCH BETTER AND NOT WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME ON HURTFUL NARCISSISSTS!!!

Yes indeed. Always their rules terms & conditions. They weaponize your empathy against you to get their needs & wants met. As soon as you suggest a need it's a resistance. All going good they sabatoge.

@@hibiscushoney3759 If you have time to waste, you can set up interactions they may enter with the same conditions that they do to you. I know ultimately it's a waste of time, but for the science.

@@dennisrobinson8008 thanks. But I walked. The textbook DA had pushed the envelope too far. I couldn't get reciprocity on even slight amount in comparison to all the understanding,care gave him.

Right on point!

Is this an avoidant type of person you are talking about or a narcissist? Because narsissists do the same as you describe, looking for new supply all the time.

@@myrtofeli7340 definitely avoidant. I know how to spot the difference.

And sometimes they put you on hold or would give you false hope that eventually someday they will commit. But use the excuse "we don't have a label" to talk to other people while being vague about it

This is 100% accurate. I finally gave him space and went on a 2 week trip with a girl friend and he cheated on me while I was away. Wouldn’t return my texts or calls until I came back. Didn’t tell me once I returned, but saw her name come up on his phone weeks later so of course I looked and he was still stringing her along, and she was wondering why he had pulled back and was “breaking her heart.” These people are a nightmare and I’m still trying to get back to the person I used to be before him.

Yup, finding out the hard way like most people on here. Never again

Everyone is different. There is no one personality and way of being that is wrong or right. If they are avoidant that works in tandem with your anxiety which is also another form of controlling. No judgment is what makes relationships work. The first mistake is to think you are better than the other person and not worth your time… wow, who is really at a loss if you leave? Them? No… you proved their point as to why they are avoidant in the first place.

Yes, the pain is deep. Worst I have ever felt.

Only inhuman can play such games at the cost of someone's life (without even realizing what damage they do to others or keeping mum even after knowing about what they are doing.)

I am secure and the only time i got a bit anxious was the first time she ended everything out of the blue, but i never chased or begged . The second time she did it , I realised it was almost same pattern as the last time. This time i just totally ignored and walked away and would not reach out. Its unhealthy

Yes, but in the end nobody has a divine right to be in a relationship with someone else. It's a free choice by both parties, and the terms are worked out as they go along. It's really sad and emotionally hard though when one person who is *not* dismissive-avoidant likes or loves somebody who *is* dismissive-avoidant, and can't make it work with them. Falling for someone is often not a choice. It just happens and being dismissive-avoidant is not their fault and doesn't mean they don't have something to offer. If we are attracted strongly to them in the first place, we must like aspects of them as they are.

@@freddiefox. "Avoidant" in my opinion is A: They really not sure about you and would prefer another, B: they like the benefits recieved during relationships, but know they want it to be all about themselves, so they will not have "feelings" either way it's selfish and you nor anyone else needs to put up with it.

@@dennisrobinson8008 Yes, I'm thinking it's probably simpler, more beneficial, and just easier all round to find somebody else who is not Dismissive-Avoidant.

@@freddiefox. Find someone who is all into you that you have mutual attraction it'll raise your life.

@@freddiefox. what is the da getting from the other person? I have asked her that and never got an answer. Why are we friends then?

That's because their friends don't require the same emotional intimacy we do. They can remain surface-level. Mine was the same way

Let me guess, your ex doesn't have a best friend. Just many surface value friends but no actual close friends.

@@limitlesssky3050 He has 3 close friends he's known for years and several men in his daily social circle.

need to stop calling them "friends" all they are, are acquaintances

@@limitlesssky3050 my DA ex did have at least 2-3 close long term friends. Of course, I don't know how their interactions are. Also they constantly put these friends above me (never cancelling on a friend and always made time for them, but not for me)

100%

Yes, *AND* they can also be the sweetest people alive. Which is how they reel even SA people in (Me). I'm NC right now, just trying to work on myself, heal, and move on. We just broke up, so it's too recent to get back out there yet. What attracts avoidants is someone independent, which I am. I don't NEED anyone else, but at the same time, I do expect a full, reciprocal partnership and want someone special in my life. I should have paid more attention to this part of Behavioral Science in college. 🤦‍♀️ These videos are a useful refresher course, and I'll pay more attention going forward.

🎉🎉🎉best answer

Hahaha so true! Just to participate in the hot n cold game of your partner and being in love with the idea of being in love.

Exactly they are cold ,selfish,cruel even evil I came to a conclusion run away.

Well always remember that they got you and could not keep you. If this makes you feel better. I doubt they can actually keep a healthy relationship.

@@fp2748 they are evil I believe, new names and trendy tags like avoidance is put on them by modern society,but I actually think they are sociopaths ,let's call a spade a spade lack empathy,fake, manipulate,users ,selfish beyond anything normal but this society wants to make excuses for them we should not sick in the head I call it twisted and evil.

Whatsaap him"**

@@rosesmith6756 No thanks, I'm good.

this absolutely PERFECTLY describes what I feel I have been experiencing….I don’t know the person is totally narcissistic but they have done all these things…..and I do believe they already have someone in the wings and so pulling back doesnt mean shit to them…..they don’t respond to questions as to why they are pulling back then get mad at you for asking or try to avoid answering…..then I may blow up…..and yes that justifies them walking away…..and today I just got blamed for being “sick” and needing help based on this scenario. The person is very good person and giving to those around her, even to me. So no one would believe my experiences. AND THEY DONT. They say I am sick! And I need help. What about this person’s part? This is so damm spot on I had to take a screenshot. Thank you for the validation. I am exhausted, depressed, worn down, overwhelmed, disappointed, upset, and have never felt so low in years as we are in basically no contact. The last thing she said is I was torturing her with communication that we already had-which I stated things but they were never worked out. This is only a friendship but so painful due to it being such a dear friend. She said she wont change to suit my needs and I will. Never get the friendship I want with her (Does she even know what my needs are or what I want-they don’t want to have open discussions about the relationship! They think you are attacking them!)…. It is almost finishing me out too. I am sick of researching basically for validation. And trying to convince those around me this is NOT all me!! I wish she especially could own that…..because I feel very stigmatized on this. I am always the one apologizing, not her. Even if I don’t really think I should be. Trying to always keep the peace.

@@1286cassandra I recommend learning as much as you can about narcissism. In the meantime, if you are still in contact with them, don't have any more contact with them if possible. Block them, delete them, they might ask mutual friends to question you and act friendly to you to get information on what you're up to, don't say anything to these people about what you know, play dumb and say as little as possible because you can make the situation worse by letting on that you are onto them. If they try to start an argument with you, don't take the bait. Learn all you can, there are so many resources even on youtube alone. I have huge public playlists I've made of other people's videos on narcissism that I have learned so much from. If you can afford it, I recommend therapy, depending on how much they affected you. Even if they're not a narcissist (which they sound like they are), nobody deserves to put up with treatment like that. They try to put the blame for everything on you because shame is like poisonous acid to their fragile egos. But don't provoke them either, they are experts at knowing which of your buttons to push and how to hurt you best. Be careful, be good to yourself, try not to have anything more to do with them or their cronies, and learn all you can about narcissism.

Avoidant people do not enjoy watching someone apologize for no reason just assuming they did something wrong. This givess them anxiety, which causes them to avoid you more...

Rejection is not usually the reason they avoid people. Avoiding trauma from other people is the main reason. People scared of rejection are the anxious type.

​@@stephanieann9770Trauma?

Yessss exactly

@@stephanieann9770no avoidants fear rejection for sure. They only let you close enough to not hurt them. They are very defensive .

@@stephanieann9770 trauma like what

Agree but also just move on

How to set free? I am exhausted and very sad.

@@1286cassandra You have to believe in yourself that you can be happy, content, successful without him. everything happens for a reason. Don’t make him be the reason of your happiness. If he hurt you once, don’t let him keep hurting you by being stuck with him and all the expectations and memories. You have to move forward and love yourself more. I know it’s hard but we can do it. Sending hugs for you ❤️

​@@1286cassandraTell him or her the relationship is done. And then stop all contact with that person.

Agree.its still validating to see all these experiences of people at the other side of avoidant

😂like narcissism. The only mental/emotional illness where everyone else gets to the therapist

This comment alone shows that you are not well educated on the subject. Attachment styles cannot be passed down

@The Banter Block get a life Mr protector of the KZfaq comment world and an imagination. Your comment shows your as fun as a frozen wet towel.

Whatsaap him"**

​@Someone Special not true... avoident parents will make avoident kids. How do you think kids become avoident? Their emotional needs are denied. The only way to get along with an avoident is to become avoident yourself.

@@someonespecial581 that is actually not true- your kids *can* ‘inherit’ a tendency towards a particular style of coping that, in combination with a DA parent’s disinterest, can result in that child’s latency becoming realised. It’s like inheriting a weakness that then manifests because of environmental or other stressors.

Same!! I was devastated and my ex didn't care at all.

@@lorip4087 🤗🤗 Hugs!

I was in a long distamce relationship. In the end my ex could not b bothered to meet at said time. To much effort. All ways runming late

Update...found someone way better, nonavoidant. Like night and day. Don't give up, everyone!

Exactly they move on easily worse if their girls so promiscuous much more then men,evil ,selfish ,cruel people in my opinion.

I dont know if they even know they are hurting others’ feelings. And if they do, they dont want you to bring your feelings up.

Being with someone else?

@@charliehobson33 yeah! She said “what will you if I get pregnant by chance!? Will you still accept me!?” She said when I said, you can enjoy for one month and I’ll come back in the end of the month!” We are in long distance right now!

That is absolutely insane tilak231. She is demanding you to be okay with her promiscuous behavior and you want something real. Crazy crazy crazy.

Absolutely spot on 🙌🙌🙌

I will not hit it but I will definitely quit it…as everyone should 🤷‍♀️

In Same boat. He had mentally ill family members separate him from every relationship. Wouldn't even introduce me to them but always put them ahead of our primary relationship....it was so insulting and mind boggling but they wanted to sabotage his connection

I'm sorry but we need to make these DAs accountable. They are not children. Just because they had a horrible childhood trauma doesn't excuse them from hurting other people.

Yes it's true, in theory you will be better of with someone secure. However sometimes love...

@@AlexisFriedlander Well, you know how they say love passes through the stomache... (for some it does)... but there is a wisdom in that saying, in the sense that you have to feed love with something for the fire to burn. If you keep through ice-buckets at it, you put it out. So, sometimes love just doesn't have the necessary material to survive. Anyway, I don't know. If she actually does contact me, which I doubt, I'll see if I want to reply to her then... also dependent on what she says. Thank you for your work.

​@@Ninjaphil24Love is probably the most unnecessary thing in a relationship. Suitability and commonality in principles, morals, mind sets and sex are more important than love.

Feeling same way but not wanting to accept the feelings as the friend means a lot to me. Didnt really notice her behaviors until this year much. Now even more understanding da. Exhausting. Though she would say Im exhausting with my anxious attachment, though working so hard on it and give her space.

Yes! This comment!!! I can so relate. I lean more towards anxious as well.

Right. Either way you lose. Best to lose them save yourself. Catering to them or not is always u getting into a pathological way to satisfy them

Opposites attract. It very common for DA and AP to be drawn together. I believe it's by design, to reflect each other, and learn to grow.. we all need to grow.

Two avoidents don't work because neither pursue each other. Can't light a fire without a spark. In order for a relationship to start there has to be one willing to get rejected.

@@prettybird7597 True!

This is the definition of flat mates not partners my dear 😊

@@muhamedadel2012 absolutely not . We are on the same level and very much attracted to each other with good Intimate life. Clingy does not do it for me and thankfully the same for my husband . We a both confided with each other , love and trust goes both ways .

​@@muhamedadel2012whatever works, if it works for OP, then it works.

That just shows you're not an avoidant or at the very least, extremely low on the avoidant spectrum.

Whatsaap him"**

This is 110% what I’m going through as wel

4 1/2 years of revising our non relationship as he likes to call it. I only see him about 7 or 8 times a year but we live 20 minutes apart. It's seriously a no win situation.

@gloriacook1518 Yes I’m so sorry. It’s so hard

This!! You explained it so well! It really does feel like death 😣 Why are they doing this to us? 😔💔

Any time June ;)

so agree

Same for me ‘ one date. A month !

That's what I've done, when he started ignoring text messages with questions about a ehole-day date he invitrd me to! I left explaining I don't tolerate disrespect and confusing behaviour and wished him well. But it doesn't change the fact, HIS relational patterns are the same.

Words of Wisdoms! Thank you so much! I needed to hear this. O:-)

Well many men in relationship do encourage single men to do hot cold. According to these people, women looovee hot cold games. I personally hate any form of dating games, I personally think dating should be effortless.

Whatsaap him"**

Whatsaap him"**

What about now?

challenge and a cat chasing the mouse (psychological mechanism: people want things they cannot have..?

Yeah wish I could stop watching these videos and trust and validate myself. Seems others who havent been there are taking the other persons side and seeing me crazy-probably same as she is. I wish she would watch a da or AP/da video but she doesnt seem interested. Why do they not want to change or be interested in their behaviors?

@@1286cassandra because they don't care. If they did they would change for the better. I'm 2 years removed from my person and she never got better.

Marco, I read your post and have something to share with you. I had previously experienced anxious attachment but successfully dealt with it during extensive therapy. I then got into a relationship with a very close and old friend. She has significant dismissive avoidant attachment that I didn’t recognise. Very early on she actively started to sabotage the relationship and withdraw. Because of my previous anxious attachment I thought I was the problem because I reacted strongly to it so I went straight back to therapy because I mistakenly believed I had unresolved issues. This played into the hands of my dismissive avoidant partner because it legitimised her behaviour and avoidance. Over time it became clear that the issues were not anything unresolved in me but that she has done nothing to address the reasons for her avoidance (neglectful and abusive childhood). My friendly advice to you is do not take on responsibility for your boyfriend’s behaviour. You cannot fix what isn’t yours. He will be happy for you to be in therapy and carry this for him because it means he doesn’t have to address who he is, how he makes you feel and, most critical of all, he won’t have to meet your needs. As two adults, it is the responsibility of both to make a relationship work and to deal with anything in one’s self that is a barrier to this. Dismissive avoidants require a lot of therapy especially because they struggle to see the impact of their avoidance on people close to them. Above all, look after yourself in this. You will need to meet your own needs and not expect much from your boyfriend. As much as they love, they struggle to show or express that love which even to a securely attached person is very hard.

@@pricejoss Hi there! thank you so much for taking the time to read my comment and share your experience and offer advice, it's very kind of you :) i absolutely agree with this...in the past i made this exact mistake, working so hard on myself to make it all work. Even worse, it was with a narcissist in the past...so you can imagine how it all played out. This time I made sure to check both ends of the issue, because indeed, I am keenly aware its not just my job and my responsibility to fix this, or to carry his unaddressed ghosts. I can see him putting in the work, he is making good progress and despite his dismissive avoidance, he makes it a point to meet as much of my needs as he can, and to make space for expressing love care and reassurance in different ways. It's quite touching :3. Sometimes ill get impatient and wish he'd go to therapy again already or make some more breakthroughs of some sort lol, but I can't say he isnt putting in the effort and taking responsibility for himself. He's always open to communicate and getting better at expressing his needs (instead of withdrawing) and generally letting me back in little by little like before (we started of securely attached). I will say there are times im in risk of forgetting these points you make (what with my savior complex lol), so I do appreciate the gentle and caring reminder, I will endeavor to keep it at the forefront as we continue to navigate through this rough patch :) thank you so much again!

@@marko1234567890 Hi Marco! That’s lovely to hear and I’m sorry to impart advice uninvited. It was a bit assumptive but you sounded down in your post and it can be so hard in these situations. That’s great your boyfriend is working on it and working hard for you too. It also gives the rest of us hope 😄! Hope it works out for you and he’s lucky to have you support him and to have your patience.

@@pricejoss oh not at all! I feel honored you took your time to share your insight :) i truly appreciate it! i do feel down sometimes, but as things go along and I can balance myself out (without the anxiety to be more specific lol) I can appreciate what im doing, and I can be grateful and happy for the work he's putting in and that he's not just sitting idly on his laurels haha I truly hope all keeps going well...and thank you, patience hasnt been easy for sure...but so far it's worth it :D You're so nice, truly, thank you!

@@marko1234567890 Well thank you for sharing your experience because it's really helped me! I've only just started to understand dismissive avoidance and it's been an unbelievably painful and sad break up, and reading your story and those of others has helped so much in making sense of it. I really admire your compassion for your boyfriend. Before I understood what DA was I sadly felt a lot of anger towards my ex and I wish I'd known more and shown more love and understanding.

Whatsaap him"**

I’m so happy having my former partner back, after being separated for months. All thanks to dr Fred Morgan whom help me to get back my ex again ‘ I will suggest y’all to get help from him and it works within 7 days

+234

7044

297851

Same

My story the same long distance relation ship. Over just like that.

He more than likely was a coward. Dismissive avoidance pretty much are. They have the majority level of a child in a man or women’s body. A true man or women will embrace conflicts in relationships and talk them out, not dump you the moment things get difficult.

@@robertrainford6754 oh yeah, coward is a very accurate adjective. Everything was SO weird with him, we had a 2 month relationship and he acted "normal" only for a couple of weeks. Suddenly he pulled away, for no reason. He wouldn't hold my hand or look at me in the eyes, he avoided me, that was so painful. I complained and he did nothing to fix it: "this who I am, this is my personality", "I'm not very passionate or emotional", "I'm very blocked in that department". That kind of things he told me but never fixed anything and always found a way to blame me. One day he showed up acting very cold and told me I was "too passive" in the relationship, like... He felt he had to do everything. Can you believe the level of gaslighting? So I did more. And when I asked for a hug I never got it. It is incredible painful. Now I feel that I had a relationship alone, like I was forcing him to stay with me for 2 months while he was uncomfortable all the time. He never introduced me as his girlfriend:( finally he dumped me because we had too many conversations, that was his reason. It's been 4 months of no contact, he dissapeared, and as much as it hurts it's not my job to contact him. A real coward who dumped a beautiful and caring woman who was 100% invested in the relationship. Nobody acts the way he did. Sorry for the long comment. Still hurts so much.

​​@@robertrainford6754This is not even conflict. According to OP, she or he just got dropped for no reason.

Good for you. We dont care….

​@@fp2748The avoidants dont care either...

@@CitiesOfAshhaha what! “The avoidants” , like it is a title or something.

Typically, the avoidant is the one creating the end.

You are lucky you are talking things out! Open communication is very difficult with my da friend.

One way or another they will hit you up randomly weeks and months down the line. Then comes the hot and coldness....

@@darongates5948 exactly! It is certainly frustrating. It baffles me how people can’t be consistent. I guess we all have our diff struggles in life.

If they drop you, don't pick them up. Just move on. You don't need difficult people to have a relationship with, life is already plenty difficult without people making it more difficult.