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I have released myself and we have gone no contact. Maybe in years to come we can come together again but being the hidden third wheel does not serve one's mental health.

A married man asked me out. I told him; “ why don’t we call your wife and ask if she is ok with that.” Some men are very selfish and only care about their own needs and feelings; they know their game and enjoy playing vulnerable women. Never date a married man, they are still married for a reason. Great video as always.

I left too after almost a year being with him. I have found a man, who is single and not afraid of showing me off to the world. I'm feeling grateful and content with what I have now.

Thank you for this video. I have been seeing this married man for 8 month and he used to show that he is unhappy in his relationship and he is with his wife because of their child and all the bla bla and he will move on with me. After some stalking, i realised that he lied about everything. He is happy and the best husband and best father. He blocked me everywhere now. I am struggling to move on now. M y advice to everyone is NEVER BELIEVE ANY STORY A MARRIED MAN TELL YOU.

A married man will never leave his wife. He will force her out of the marriage so he doesn’t carry the guilt of leaving the marriage.

I don’t think that a person who is fully committed to his family will ever leave them for you . He might love you but a family man who is very responsible and feel the sense of responsibility to his own family can’t leave his home ,stability and safe place . So don’t expect anything and move on and pray for him . If he really really loves you he will make his way able to fight for you . Thank you for the beautiful insight .

Thank you for not being cruel in your video.

That was extremely compassionate, insightful and refreshingly non-judgmental advice for anyone in a “taboo” and complicated yet real relationship situation

I woke up to the way I have been played, why I was an easy target, and why an unavailable man was no better than I think I deserve. I've been hurt more than he'll ever know by allowing him anywhere near my heart. I feel for his actual partner because she does not know how readily he betrayed her. I've been single for 15 years, and this is why. No man can be trusted.

Abundance mindset. There are other men out there besides the taken ones. Love yourself enough to find a new love. ❤️

Advice to others. If it feels too hard to leave, go No Contact for 30 days. Once I broke the constant communication I’m able to see clearly and find my way out without the horrible pain flattening me. This fellow described this situation so well. My ex guy says he’s ‘confused’. Well I’m not anymore. After 15 months of this, I came to exactly what he said.

Whenever I get hit on by a married man, I ask myself this questions: 1) Why would I want to be with someone who is cheating on his wife? 2. Why would I trust a man who looked another woman in the face and pledged his life to her? It’s only a matter of time before he would do the same thing to me. If he’s married, he’s off limits. Period.

Class response. Self respect prioritized. If its meant to be, it will. If not, it won’t. Go live your life. It will find you.

I think it’s rare but there are situations where the two new people are meant to be together

Thank you Jack for this really compassionate video. Yesterday I ended my almost year relationship with a man I believed would leave his current situation for me. Not! Never his intention. I watched this video over and over for almost 6 months. He was never mine to have. It was agonizing being in it,and even more agonizing actually ending it. But today I feel a sense of relief. And now I heal. And I will. Thank you again! I'll be watching for helpful videos!

I love how you approached this topic from a place of love. Always impressed by you 🤗

"If his actions aint back it it up, then it aint worth that much"...so true, thanks Jack!

I like that comment where he said "if a guy really love you he will figure it out if he has to divorce his wife.😍😘. Thanks for the upload.

He's hurting his wife as well if she's know's of the affair and most of them do know.

Letting him go had been the hardest decision I had to take, but definitely the best. Knowing what I want in the relationship also helped me,from the beginning of our relationship I told him I can't be his side chick and he agreed that's not the plan.couldnt bear watching myself get hurt or having no control of how we spend our time together.6 months dating and he is still trying to figure out if her,me or non.i on the other side i am leaving my life the best way I can without trying to win him over.😊with/without him i owe it to myself to be happy. Now the pressure is on him to decide,if he still can't decide then I made things easier for him by excluding my self from the misery and drama.

This was sobering as I didn’t realize he was married because he lied about it. Then found out via Facebook and though I sought other options in dating he drew me in for 5 months. Not a long time but any time is valuable to me. I’m now dating and honoring my heart.

The way you explained it was so kind. I’ve watched videos like this, but all of them came with judgement. Your advice came from a understanding and empathetic place. I didn’t feel judged or ridiculed. Thank you for your knowledge and explanation!

Just want to say for a young guy, you sure covered all the bases. No more has to be said, you said it all. I hope more ladies listen to you more than once. When somebody murders you mind it hard to realize the BIG mistakes that you're making. Not only you, but your whole family will suffer in the end, you will come out of this with NOTHING. Remember guys are great actors, 99.9% of the time he is lying to you and doesn't care and if he is married your already halfway down the dark rabbit hole. You are entering the dark part of his life. GET OUT NOW !

Ok Jack - wow! This is the Best advice I have ever received on this subject. It's been a year. I knew on the one year "anniversary" of dating a married man (and in full disclosure - I didn't know the first 4 months. He hid it well), I needed to make some changes. I have never dated a married or taken man before - and I will Never do it again. Your perspective brought clarity and light to what was missing in my efforts to end it. I kept thinking - how can I possibly leave a man I love? I can I totally part with someone in which we have such connection, passion, and love? But you just didn't call him a punk and say "kick him to the curb. he's an ass." like everyone else did. You actually said, hey - he may really love you and he is deluding himself. That makes much more sense to me. I am a reasoning person and I need to the know the Reasons why when I make decisions - not just "this is what you need to do." What you said makes So Much Sense and gives me peace of mind to let go of him , and move on in a dignified way that not only respects myself but also gives him some grace as well. Thank you for that. I could not figure out "what do I do and how do I do it so it "sticks"? " I have tried to break up with him 4 or 5 times and I keep going back. Now I know that I truly want someone who is actually available to me and I don't have to fight for their attention that's mostly going elsewhere... and I have been getting crumbs from the table. I want to sit at the table with the silver , fine linens, the crystal, the champagne, and a full course delicious meal with my lover. Taking our time, allowing a gracious dinner and time together by candle light and even having dessert, with no interruptions and he can actually stay late into the night because I am his one and only. Wow !!! Can't thank you enough. Best explanation ever of dating a married man and how to graciously and lovingly and respectfully to myself end it. Also - I did have some abandonment issues in my childhood. This explains a lot. I don't think I attracted a married man, but once I found out he Was married, I was already in love and then I couldn't let go. Now I truly believe I will. Thank you so much. On to healing and an healthier way of life. Amen!

Thank you for reminding me of everything I already know. And encouraging me to keep dodging the bullet of a married man flirting with me, while sensing he has no real desire to end his primary relationship. I think he's just looking for a temporary thrill.

Thank you Jack. I was afraid to watch this at first, but "glad" I did. Needed to hear it. Wish I wasn't going through it. Know I will survive it. Hope I learn from it.

Sandra, stop running after this married man he IS NOT LEAVING HIS WIFE, EVER!!!!! Live your life and leave him alone . I know that he keeps calling you , don't answer his calls

What’s different about this video is that you urge the other woman to look within her deeper past... unavailable care-giving really jumps out at me. I appreciate your starting point is love and compassion and you’ve done this with great understanding and empathy. And so great to hear from other women who have been through this in the comments.

This is a powerful, but simple message and will help so many people in these tough situations. Love you man!

Every time there is a man who is not able to make a choice, the only way he will go is his own selfish interest ..be sure.

Thankyou for a positive, non judgemental & helpful video. It’s been hard to find on here. Legend.

The irony of live for me is that I rarely fall for anyone at all. And after 5 years of breaking up with my ex and a long time of healing I fall for this guy who turns out to be married, the funny thing is that I didn't do anything and he did evertything to get my attention and to start something more just "friends". Now I know that, even though we have a very strong connection on every level possible, I have to let him go and end this thing (that actually didn't last that long, it just started really) because he's married. I'm starting to really question life of whether I'm ever going to meet anyone who's going to actually love me for who I am. I'm now giving up someone I Iove because of my standards in life. Will there ever be someone who will approciate these standards?

Thank you Jack your words have really helped me after 6 years of loving someone who I knew in my heart would never leave his wife. I just didn’t want to face the truth. I have taken a stand and told him I can’t take the pain anymore. I hope I can move on and heal from this ❤

Thank u for being honest in a kind and descent way. So many ppl have videos on this topic but are so unkind and ruthless. Thank you for opening our eyes🙏🏿.

You are such a force🙌....Huge. Your words took me back to childhood and WHY I'm on a loop with trying to fix broken wings!! Go you!!!!!!!

Thank you Jack!. You are amazing. You touched my heart! And I appreciate you are helping us to increase our love for ourselves.

It sucks! Long distance with a married man... Im so stupid and alone. But he is so special to me. No way out. Anyway, you are right. Thank you dear. 👍🌷

Married man hit on me and I cut him off. Got sick of his lies and it’s just not worth it. The whole thing was depressing for me but it’s life. Ladies you need to RUN!!!

First time I ve watched your video and honestly I would like to whole-heartedly congratulate you on it. You really know what is going on in these situations and your experience on people who have been or are going through this. Thank you for your supporting encouraging and never reprimanding tone. You've won a fan!

I think this is even more difficult now because the cost of living is so high. Men use it as an excuse why they can not move out…

So much wisdom and complete understanding. You addressed every one of my questions. Thank you.

This is the best video I have ever seen on this topic. Hands down. Thank you so much.

Excellent presentation. Spoken with truth and clarity. This will help many people.

Thank you. I needed this ....this morning. Awful situation. Hard to trust people anymore.

Jack, thanks for the straight talk , helped me clear my head

Thank you for this. I needed someone to approach this from a place of understanding and not judgement. I've been with this guy for 6 months and he just told me yesterday that he feels guilty cheating on his wife. Said he was feeling this way for a while but didnt have the heart to tell me. I'm heartbroken but I know that him breaking things off was the best thing that could happen for me. I had no intention of letting go but now that it's over I have to take care of myself. It's just hard 💔😔

Even though this situation doesn't apply to me I can always take away something valuable. I MUST watch your webinar!! Still feeling very low after my last connection not working out, asking myself way too many whys/feeling rejected etc, but also realising just how far back my abandonment issues go. Man, it can be exhausting and draining this self-awareness 😒

You are a pleasure to listen to and a treasure trove of encouragement . Thank you .

Thank you for explaining it in a way that sheds light on the situation.

Thank you for your beautiful and so meaningful words as always :) I agree with every word ...

What I have to say to men and women that are pursuing relationships with married partners is this -what if that was you on the other side of that coin? What if it was your man or woman someone is chasing? Do you really want to put that out there? I am a firm believer that we reap what we sow. If you encourage your partner to cheat on their spouse not only are you hurting yourself your hurting that other man or woman and setting yourself up to get hurt in the future. They didn't ask you to get in the middle of their marriage. You can excuse your relationship by saying to yourself that the marriage is over he/ she doesn't love their spouse anymore but you are still partially responsible for the damage being done. Let the marriage end (if it is heading down that road) without your input. Don't show up at court hearings and child exchanges or move into the family home. That only makes things worse for everybody. And a little side note, if your partner is mean and nasty to their spouse what makes you think they won't eventually start treating you the same way? Bottom line don't do it. There are plenty of men and women out there you just have to look. Don't latch onto someone that is already hooked up with someone else. Don't waste your energy or time. You deserve better than someone else's sloppy seconds.

You have no idea how this touched a nerve. Many nerves. Exactly what I needed today, right now. Spot on. Thank you thank you thank you. I’m going to try really hard to let him go through his process.

This was great advice! Thank you so much🙏🏼

You explained the best way possible! You are a super intelligent man!!!! God bless you !

OMG!! I have googled and googled to find this info!! Thank you!! I so needed this!!

U r spot on in saying the guy should take a step back and figure out himself if he has your best interest at heart.👌

thankyou for being so lovely in your approach to this very difficult topic. There is a fear of letting go but you put it in a way that brings light to a very hurtful and sobering reality

Fooling around with a married or in a long term relationship person is WRONG! I hear everyone lamenting the feelings of the cheater and his/her new lover, what about the feelings of the long term wife/husband, partner and let’s not forget the children. I believe that the cheater wants their cake and to eat it too, and the destruction to family and self concept of the person being cheated on is enormous. I can’t believe the self love and selfishness of the cheater and new love interest, who don’t give a f#$k about anybody else’s feelings but their own. If someone wants to end a relationship, be honest and end it, don’t sneak around.

New subscriber, thank you for making theses videos to help with relationships. It’s very helpful.

Thank you for putting this out. I'm going thru some stuff and to hear this non judgemental talk with real wisdom and understanding is amazing. I feel like I'm putting down a 100 pound of rocks..

You are so good 🙏🏻 Thank you sir. Love love love the way you speak. Don’t ever change 🙏🏻

Jack, your topics are essential ...you have me thinking what to do with myself..I can't breath! with all honesty, we both are unavailable ...and sincerely, how will my life be if I be right and without him?

Thank you very much for this eye opening video😢

This is amazing. Spot on. Thank you so much

Amazing 🙏 couldn’t been explained better. Amazing

I know of a few successful cases that started as an affair. In most cases the two were friends prior. Life is never cookie cutter. We'd be foolish to think so.

No contact for half month now, feels like forever...but this video confirms that I made a right decision, I am proud of myself. I am alone but at least this is my choice, much better than being trapped in the situation that I have no control at all....Life is too short to sit and wait. Let the fate to decide the rest. Thanks for sharing this.

Jack, just saw your first video, thank you! Loved it and spoke to my heart. I needed this.

Thank you for this video Jack it helped me a lot...

You completely woke me up after watching your video... I'm so in love with him, but I can't live with this pain anymore, it's not fair to me, I deserve full love from this man & I see now that he most likely won't ever give it to me... I decided to move on.... thank you for opening my eyes.... 😔

That was such a supportive and gentle but empowering message. Just wish it didn’t hurt so much to do

Really so nice of you. It is all true what you said..

Such a great video :) thank you

Thank you for this - I’m so torn and it’s my first time dealing with something like this so any words help me - I’m really upset and you’ve helped

Thank you Very Very much! I am amazed how You defined perfect a situation like that… made me fell I am not definitly alone… ❤️

Very helpful indeed. Currently got twisted in a relationship. I'm alot grateful.

Thank you I really needed to hear this! 👍

Thank u jack. I felt like u were talking directly to me. It helps to hear ur words. Very hard situation. I don’t recommend starting this type of relationship. U never know who u might fall in love with…

Stay away from married men ! You sidechicks have no idea what it does to the wife the pain is unbearable and you can’t build success on tears of others ! I have been there as a wife ! It’s not fear !

Thank you! I am so glad I encounter this video. I am going to talk to him and claim my thoughts.

I never asked him to leave or gave him any ultimatum-what ever he did was up to him. As for looking for someone else- he was the one.

Boy-! I needed to hear this.

Thank you so much for your advice its the best I needed it most

Amazing advice!!!

You summed a lot of things up so well!

It really makes since , i love ur videos mr butler they r very informative 🌹❤️🌹

This is the best video I have watched about this issue until now. It does not put things into black and white but look into the various nuances (even though there are more nuances not mentioned here). I love it!

You are most kind and caring understanding coach GOD BLESS

Thank you for this. I have always known I needed to walk away (I actually did today) but I still love him and would love to have a life with him. I like how you think it's ok to recognize that but to not be available until he is available. I still love him but I'm going to let him go, live my life, and put myself first. Thank you so much for this.

Thank you, Jack❤️👍

VERY WELL PUT!

The best video in this topic out there!

This was wonderfully said...Not one insult.

Man this is the best advice thank you

I don’t think he will ever leave her. Actually it would scare me if he ever did. They have been together since they were 17 yo. They have a bond that I simply can’t compare with. I am open to meeting others and go out on dates. He is possessive and does not want me to do that. But I know that I have to do what is right for me.

EVERYTHING you have said is so correct, such perfect wording for many... completely saying the RIGHT thing... you are, like I always say " the best"... 💖

Thank you so much for this video

No he won’t no matter how miserable the marriage is.. it’s predictable and comfortable and safe and men are cowards

Great advice as always.