Bingo

No words can express when your trying to see yourself in that mirror.

Beastie Boys - Remote Control

I had a brother who loved to remind me that he was my “Older Brother”. What does that even mean/matter once you’re in your 40’s was my response.

My ex narc was like that. He controlled the remote, and tried to control everything.

One of them just gained control of his stepfather's mailbox.

My brother is a video game addict and I realized it was never about the games. That's where he is seen as something better than he is. It's the only place he feels like king and gets treated relatively like a king (he's really good at video games)

They just don't give a shit about anyone but themselves and they don't like themselves very much either so everyone else has to suffer for it. they are very weak people wanting to mask their weakness with bullying and dominance of others.

@marietose67, dispensable and replaceable instead of indispensable and irreplaceable!

And they are not. That’s the crazy part. They are below average

Except for their golden child through whom they live vicariously, seeing them as perfect, whatever they do, while the GC serves, obeys, defends and worships the narcissist, punishing whomever the narc directs them to punish.

They are (1) impossible :(2); dense& thirdly; a CLICHE' ; yet they treat us as a Pawn or peon!

Yeah my narc dad said once as he was getting out of jail for choking my mom which obcourse he denied. He said if the world was like him there would be no need for jails. I guess because if everyone was as virtueous as he was.....The irony. As a kid i personally saw him beat up my mom and deny it later 😳

@@adamguy33 sorry you had a father like that. It sets one back but we can find better role models and make better choices for our adult lives. Thankful for the help available today :)

I know. It's kind of shocking what assholes they are.

It's it though, that was my mistake thinking they thought like me. Huge mistake ✌

I've found they cannot take any criticism but they dish it out in truck loads

@@bereal6590 Yep don't react it causes them death🤣🤣

Yes! take back your childlike wonderment

Same here (29 years living with a narcissistic husband). When he threatens to leave me now, I just say, "Okay, let's contact an attorney and get this thing going." Unfortunately, he hasn't taken me up on it yet.

Annjohn- he never will. The only way you will get free is to leave him.

❤ this. 💪 strong

@luannlee7386, same here, but at 36 years.

Good point, suedarr. That’s the most frustrating undertone of this disorder - everything you try to communicate just comes bouncing back to you. Which causes us to accumulate the frustration times two. Never-ending cycle.

​@@elcee7800 They are can sometimes feign it with a display of fraudulent (merely cognitive) 'empathy' when necessary, if it suits their aims, which is conning the audience.

always someone else's fault. Huge red flag.

@@elcee7800 gas lighting, deflecting, projecting etc etc..

So true

My narcissistic brother-in-law is like that. I never hear him say my sisters name, its alway " my wife, your sister, your daughter ( to dad)".

@@farmboypresents9977 My brother in law uses those pronouns like that too. I hate to go against Dr. C’s words here, but is it an ethnic thing? 🫢

Same here. I lived with a narcissist for ten years and he never once said my name. If I was upstairs he'd call "are you there" or something like that. It really makes you feel like you're not even worthy of a name. When I left him I wrote a book and called it 'Mrs No Name'. Sending hugs 💕

I also not called by my name and longed for it. Her was said

It’s so sad & tragic that supposed “loved ones” behave that way. I pity the Narcs I really do. A whole world of goodness & love is just not accessible for them.

I like that! Good to remember ✌

Their childhood chaos is not to blame. Many suffer trauma and come out good. Narcs chose evil, become demonic in the process! Because they're extremely immature! They have the chance to change for the better in their relationship with supportive empathetic partners but what do they do? Continue they're demonic behaviour. They want love so much but destroy love! No hope for them! The narc expects to go to hell at death and doesn't care! Meanwhile using god to try and keep me! No way! Have to keep away from them🙏♥️

I was just a little child at that time. So I had nothing to base it off of

@@1windyoldbird I thought all families did this

@@1windyoldbird yeah I get that . Didn't you feel a bit stressed about going to friends 🏠 and waiting for the explosion 💥 that never happens?

Wow, Amylyn! You proved that we are wired to know better, even as children. It is 100% a choice. I'm glad you chose wisely.

@@marmaladesunrise yeah and I found out I have a goat 🐐 named scapes I can't take care of anymore... Who wants this 🐐 goat... Btw there is hope ❤️❤️

Prayers that she be protected from him!!!!!!

That's their favourite game, not wanting to know anything, learn anything but you should you shouldn't you ought....... I believed it! Until I woke up. It's very hurtful when someone doesn't want to know or understand what's going on for you. Heads up that will never alter in my experience

Yes!

Yes, there are surely many drivers. Personally I think their anger/rage is their strongest driver because... 1. it has a very high energy in itsself 2. It is a very destroying energy 3. It gives very much power over others

in my case the data collection is all about mistakes however minor they are, it's worse for me because I am a perfectionist and make very few mistakes but if I make 1 mistake every 10 years, I'll be reminded about it for decades by my brother, he has made some awful mistakes but I don't ever point it out or criticise him, it's the hypocrisy that annoys me, double standards.

#TeamHealthy

🤗

👋❤️🤗💕

🌟🖐️✨💛🍒🥧☕🥰

Hey, we're with you!!! Love ❤️ and 🙏 prayers to all!!!❤❤❤

Thanks for sharing this.

I highly appreciate your testimony that despite the pain of narcissism, there’s growth and light at the end of this dark tunnel. Thank you! 🙏 🙏🙏

You're describing my narc husband perfectly!

@@annjohnson8437 i've been surrounded by the fkers, until the last 5-6 years during which i've been completely alone with the exception of one very easily manipulated flying monkey i can't shake off....and the odd proxy stalker. horrible, vicious, sick deranged things.

Wow! I never thought of this. True for me too

Glad it resonated!

Leanne, STAY STRONG!

Best wishes to you Leanne.

Yes, best of wishes ❤❤❤❤

Know you’re not alone and that you matter. You are stronger than you think and you have the support of “Team Healthy “

Amen, to that 🙏 😊❤😊❤

Amen from me too!

I understand and I've tried, I have no words for or that I can share. You are not alone.

Lishma, these are exactly all the reasons why any contact with these individuals feel so very exhausting. In their presence you are not allowed to be yourself!!! They suck you empty with their dark energy and you will never feel the way you were meant to be. I have also read your comment about the "planting seed". In fact, the more you try to help them, the less you will help them and yourself. That is indeed very difficult to understand and of course, it let's you bleeding your heart. Nobody can heal unless someone sees the necessity or has the desire to change. That applies for everyone and even more so for Narcissists for most of them don't think that there is anything wrong with them at all. Be aware that this is about a personality disorder. You want order and clarity for your soul, they like the chaos they are living in. And you cannot change your own personality, can you? I remember Dr Ramani saying something like this, "When you are an introvert, you like to be alone to have your quiet time, which gives you energy. Perhaps you will force yourself to go to a party, which you actually don't like, just to not dissapoint a friend. But you will never get an extrovert who likes parties with all the heart. You can't change your character! So why do you want to change a Narcissist?" And to reduce it to an introvert versus an extrovert for better understanding. An introvert will never ever really understand why the extrovert needs other people to feel good and at the same time the extrovert will never ever really understand why the introvert likes so much to be alone. These are two different species and so are you and the Narcissists. Two absolutely different mindsets.

@@roxymovie3938 Basically: - if I try to help them, they get worse - if I don't try to help them, they remain the same - I always wonder if there is a third way... but it's most probably (=surely) just another waste of time for me (and for other people in need whom I could really help). I know, Roxy. I know. In the Latest Comments section there is the (LOL "hidden") long version of the short visible comment that dr Carter answered with such kindness. In my long version question there are the most complete reasons for that question ... (Every time dr Carter writes something like _"I respect your desires"_ , I know I have to start worrying... and I translate his answer as "This girl still doesn't understand anything" 🥴) In any case, I know, things don't change for the very majority of narcissists. Especially for the terrible ones like mine and yours. And for sure, I am fully aware that they cannot start changing themselves by starting from my "good will" !! I know. I know. My question for Dr. Carter and for all Team Healthy, could be, in a metaphorical sense, "Can I leave some good food for them on the table? What kind of food should I leave there for them? So, if they happen to need it, they will take it. Otherwise they will leave it on the table. And for me that's ok in any case". Roxy, everything you wrote so accurately and for which I thank you in a special way... I know. I just have to repeat it many times. Probably my Trauma Bonding or my own character makes me think that if I don't try to help them... It would be like abandoning them. And... for me, it's terrible abandoning people because I know what it means to be abandoned all the time, again and again since childhood. But I see that Dr Carter's, too, he replies like inviting me to abandon (nearly) any hope for these people. You know, Roxy, when (rarely) the narcissists don't attack me, even if they are always so cold and senseless, when I myself I find my own confidence and my own calm... I can clearly see that they had been badly hurt in their lives... And that's why I feel really sorry for them. But this feeling doesn't last long because it's as if they pick up on this feeling of mine and they usually intervene very quickly by provoking some chaos. I know, this circle must end. Thanks for your great help.

Stay strong. Eventually they will find another narcissistic supply and stop coming at you. You’ve made the right choice.

Thanks so much!

Good for you 😊and 🙏 God bless ❤

Thanks so much. You are why I do these videos!!

@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS I subscribed to your channel .. thrash or be thrashed ❤️

God had nothing to do with it..😮

@@suedarr197 your exactly right 💯

@@Amylyn.. using His name to curse is blasphemous..

@@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS who's Gus??? Does he want to buy a 🐐?

Best wishes to you, Bill. It's necessary to have honesty in family relationships.

Good luck!!!😊 I will be praying for you 🙏 ❤️

You are so welcome. #TeamHealthy

Glad it was helpful!

Stick around. I hope you find the topics pertinent.

@RickyBobby382, from my experience with both overt and covert narcissists in my family, the covert narcissists use the silent treatment as punishment, while the overt narcissists seem to scream, yell, follow you, etc. I believe Dr. C. has a video on this, or at least, mentions the characteristics quite often.

Funny you should ask. 2 weeks from now on Feb 19 I have a video scheduled about that very question. Keep an eye out for it.

@@SurvivingNarcissism Will do!! Thank you!

Hopefully not all of us!

You are so welcome!

You're welcome.

Thanks, Susan!

You're welcome

Thanks, Michelle. And yes, I'm also appreciative for the technical team!

So pleased!! Best wishes to you.

@@SurvivingNarcissism thank you, sir. you as well. recovering from narcissistic abuse, grief, theft, gangstalking and cyber stalking all on my own so a support group will do wonders

Yes, Read Boundaries series and Love and Logic

EXCELLENT! THE QUESTION IS WHY WON'T THEY GET HELP AND HEAL SO THEY WONT HURT OTHER PEOPLE! ARE THEY JUST IN DENIAL, LAZY OR JUST TOO TRAUMATIZED BY THEIR PAIN TO GET THE HELP THEY SO DESPERATELY NEED! AT THIS POINT I TRULY BELIEVE NARCISSIST ARE JUST FULL OF DARKNESS ....HAVE NO LIGHT AND JUST WANT TO PUT OUT THE LIGHT OF THE EMPATH! THIS IS A SPIRITUAL CONDITION!!!!! ✝️

@@sylviacaldwell2139 *? and...I see your point. But the empath needs to fail the narcissist in order for them to wake up. This means backing off if you don't have the miles to trip on their self chosen circumstances. They will sap a sap...so to speak.

Thank you. @@sylviacaldwell2139

I was duped.

I know the feeling all too well. I pushed the issue for the discard 👍no love loss there 😊

Coming from earthcat, that's quite a compliment!

@@SurvivingNarcissism Indeed so!