Rant Therapist yes

Rant Therapist that is the cycle of abuse : demoralize the victim then blame them for being demoralized. Next the abuser can throw a crumb of support to the starved victim. The victim becomes dependent on these crumbs. Trauma bonding is created.

Its exactly she did....lol

My Narc contributed enormously to my Breakdown...I only had an anxiety neurosis in the beginning. I went into seclusion in order to heal myself...with the help of 100s of KZfaq videos!

Rant...I've only had one experience in my life with someone who's behavior was exactly as you have described..encouraged me to "self doubt"and accused me of being "fearful"("living in fear city" is what she accused me of) and continued to rant at me angrily...even in front of others..and all that came some time after she had totally charmed me into feel crazy love for her..Wow..what an experience. And I even saw she had one "flying monkey" and when she wasn't ranting on me she was arguing with the boss..Never had such an experience.

it just compounds the anguish and demoralization.. not only do they. not understand, they make no effort to even bother trying. pretty shitty.

But, you do have a sea of friends out here in “web world” who do see and understand, who offer comfort and support, and who share your burden. Stay strong and be your own best friend. God bless you!

Funny I've said the exact same thing, " I'm my own best friend!" I have a date every Friday & Saturday nite, with myself. I watch my British shows on PBS & all the Dateline, 20/20, & 48 Hours shows. And guess what? I can really enjoy those dates because no one is manipulating or driving me crazy!! 😄

@@cherylfleck5606 I say the exact same thing. I spend nights alone with my dog. The best, most loyal relationship EVER!

Jo Ann Loraine: Seems impossible for anyone to "get it" unless actually experienced. Hearing or reading about it is second hand knowledge, looking in from the outside , unintentionally adding to the loneliness.

So extremely true!

So true!

There's a fella who makes short video about Narcissistic personality disorder. He is a diagnosed Narcissist and tells it as he sees it. He is in therapy and understands that he affects others with his behaviour and the thought process he has behind a particular behaviour. His name is Lee, he's an American but can't tell you more about him than that. I often sort of fall over him on the yt shorts. He is very helpful in how he tells the truth about how a Narcissist brain works.

Yes, it is insidious and therefore so much more devistating

I was going out with someone who can quote the bible at the drop of a hat but is the eternal kid. I think they are born like that, they are also very selfish, conveniently they never want to grow up.

@Jane: are you still with that narcissist?

David Thomspson Amen, it can only cause harm.

That's a line worthy of a t-shirt!

Thank you I needed to hear that.

Brilliant.

Someone explain please..

So true

Alone or lonely?

Yes..it saved my life.

😢😢me too

Here’s my story: I met a guy on MySpace in 2009. I just divorced a functioning alcoholic. We’ll call the narcissist J. J was so perfect in the beginning. The first six months were “perfect.” He did have some girls that were friends with him on MySpace that would leave questionable comments like “It was great hanging out with you while watching our kids do BMX.” She would text him at 7am telling him to have a good day. I told him I’m uncomfortable with that and I’d like him to set boundaries with her. He said i was overreacting and if I thought he was cheating then i must be cheating. He said she was just a friend and I believed it. She was beautiful. He had some others that were “just friends.” They were all really pretty. I had a friend in nursing school named Adam. He was just a friend. He was still getting over a previous relationship. I was not allowed to hang out with Adam, but J could have female friends. At about the six month mark, J didn’t want me going to the gym, he started saying he didn’t like my blonde hair or when I wore high heels because I looked like a prostitute. That’s what I looked like when he met me so it was really confusing. We didn’t live together thankfully, but by six months most relationships develop a pattern where if you’re not with that person you text them good morning, or call on your lunch break, etc. He stopped doing that consistently. It became sporadic and had me wondering, but when questioned I was always overreacting. I started doubting my sanity at that point and thought I must be a bad girlfriend. So I tried to do everything right in his eyes, but it was never right. There was, more often than not, fault in everything I did. Then the put downs started, subtly at first. Then he got downright crude, calling me the C word. I broke up with him many times and thought “this is it, I’m done!” He would email me maybe a week or two later saying how sorry he was and how he messed up and it will never happen again. And I went back. Within two weeks his behavior would return. If we were at his house and he was being mean, but someone came over like his family or friends, he’d put on the charm. If I’m angry, and I see a friend, I’ll probably vent to that person that I’m angry and why. He didn’t. It was like what happened between us never occurred. People in his life that were not his romantic partners thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread and I was the unhinged one. I caught him cheating when I got off of working a 12 hr night shift. We had seen each other before I went to work and everything seemed fine. So I went to his house after I got off because that’s something that we did. He had a girl there, one of his friends from MySpace. I felt the hood of her car. It was cold so she didn’t just get there. I knocked on the door and he answered barely poking his head out and said “ I had a feeling you would come by this morning.“ I asked who the girl was in his house (it was a lavender colored car with astrology stickers on it, plus I could hear her upstairs). He said it was none of my business and close the door in my face. I drove home crying and luckily I was off the next four days which I spent in my robe, on the couch, with my cat. Later that evening he came to my apartment and I looked through the people and saw that it was him but I did not answer. He accused me of stonewalling him and pushing him away because I didn’t answer the door. I said what do you expect you cheated on me. Do you really think I want to see you? He had a way of twisting things to make them seem that I was consistently at fault. It took my friend Suzanne who used to work with domestic violence victims that he was abusive. Before she told me that I thought all the problems in the relationship must be my fault. When I brought this up to him he told me I had borderline personality disorder. I do not have borderline personality disorder. I go to therapy once a week for complex PTSD and he is part of that complex. There’s many things that went on afterwards, but it would become a chapter in a book. I eventually got the strength to leave, he tried to email me back in and I did not reply. I changed my phone number, blocked him on all social media and he was with a new girl within a month. His ex-wife reached out to me and we talked about the experiences we had with him and low and behold they were pretty similar if not the same. Now I’m married to one of the nicest man I have ever met. A funny thing happened on TikTok about what a woman finds attractive in a man. I put how they treat me is what I find attractive. I got many replies from men saying “no it’s how much money he makes.“ I said look at my profession I make plenty of money to support myself and again I felt like I had to defend myself against all the criticism from people who know nothing about me or what I have been through. I’d rather be single then be with somebody like J ever again. Edit: Spelling errors peep hole, not people

nobody believes you if you tell them

Same thing happened to me…you can’t explain yourself bc you just look sensitive…while the Narcissist is calm as can be. Best thing you can do is start over somewhere else….run and don’t look back…

Narcissists inflict emotional damage that others cannot see. Would the same people tell a woman with a black eye that she was too sensitive? That she needs to learn how to take a punch better? Of course not. But they tell us we have to learn to take emotional abuse better.

This why I been trying to tell people authority and narcissism go hand to a hand.

@@freedomdude5420 So true. I watched a very narcisstic person get a tiny bit of authority in my department. Within a year the department was a wreck. The boss and supervisor praised her to the ceiling while everyone else was looking for jobs elsewhere.The only reason many didn't quit was because it is a very small, specialized field and there are very few jobs. One very talented lady decided to just not work at all. She had a baby and said, nope, the job isn't worth the extra bother in my life.

❤good❤you are on the pedestal !!

Some just use their insanity to enhance their narcissism.

A narcissist is a sex robot who was given a toaster controller for a brain.

@@lrowlands53 oh yes!!! Good description!! At first, one can easily mistake the sex as connection with them... the sex is great, until you realise your but a vessel for their fantasies...

Yes yes yes well said.

@@lrowlands53 I LOVED your analogy! Just perfect!

@Army of Gog lol

@@brusselsprout5851 It's tough to do when your wages are at stake, unfortunately.

@@AmyLSacks Narcs believe they're entitled to all things, including defending one's (false, in their case) self. You're inferior in every way possible, especially if you have an opinion that doesn't agree with their agenda/narrative. So you aren't entitled to defend yourself, or even speak freely about/against it. You even have coming whatever they do to you because them doing whatever they please to you or with/without you PROVES they're superior and you're weak/worthy of contempt (cyclical thinking). You are a non person who needs them to control your very mind so you won't have wrong-think (anything that disagrees with their agenda/narrative) or wrong-speech.

Indeed. The same things are taught even adults. One classic such "lesson" is telling a woman that if they wear a shorter skirt and a man is bullying them, then is not the man's fault for being a bully, but it's the woman's fault for... being provocative. Many such situations are not reported just because of this mentality.

@@eeaotly False equivocation. Empaths didn't knowingly do something they know might attract a soul rapist vampire and then complain because they should be able to do whatever they want, even if they know it's going to possibly get them hurt. Thanks for hijacking the convo with feminism though (institutionalized female supremacist bigotry and taught narcissism). If feminism were about equal rights, it'd just be called equal rights.

I'm so sorry, especially for your poor father in law ♥️

The same thing has been said to me, again and again. I began to write things down, but I should have dated them as well. It came to a stop when I told him that I had kept a log, a diary and had given it to a friend who would then give it to interested parties when the time came. I was beginning to worry about my safety. But pleading innocence still continues. When cruel things are said to you, they are engraved on your heart. I do remember.

That's called "Gaslighting"!

Classic gas lighting Laurie.

Yes! I started to question my sanity many times before I kicked him out. As long he was in my life my brain was foggy and I couldn’t think straight, it felt like I was under a spell 🤔🤔🤔 They are dangerous! That’s why I’m learning to spot red flags cuz no more narcs enters my life again!

Tell me about it

I am sorry to hear this. I had a mother who was narcissistic, BPD, and bipolarism. Untreated. Total nightmare to grow up with.

Narcissism is the pandemic of our era. I'd rather sleep in a coronavirus ward and take my chances, than to continue to live surrounded by narcs.

@@turnthepage867 Narc's are a lesser species that postures itself as better than us, with a subtle but palpable arrogance that we can feel in our innermost being. They discard us like we are trash and yet we are the better ones in every way. That's what burns the most, knowing that you gave your best to someone who absolutely did not even deserve to be in your presence to begin with..

@@reesedaniel5835 That's exactly how it played out in my life. My mother is a true beauty inside and out. I was always a good kid and an achiever. My father just threw us away. He acted like he was better than me and mom. All that time, we were better than him. What a lifetime con artist!

@@reesedaniel5835 they are extremely fragile! You would be surprised.

I'm starting to feel like there are more narcissists than non narcissists..or at least 50/50

Its almost as if the only thing that stops a narcissistic person is dying.....of old age......;)

You said it sistah!!!! This is 100% how I feel!!!!!!

I too!!! It's insane!!!

Info from the KZfaq channel called "LoveFraudLessons" - Very common for a person to end up in another situation where they experience narcissistic abuse again before healing.

Yep

So true. And what kind of impact had in your behavior as well. I never knew why I was so angry, stressed, or sad or the opposite and so on after my narc sis was passing by. I don’t even know how to explain but I know that when she left for vacation I felt kinda of relief and when I knew she’s back I started to feel anxious 😟 but indirect just a feeling inside -

@@Iulia958 Yes, that vague bad feeling is what makes you doubt yourself enough to stay in the relationship. Out of "fairness", most of us require more obvious, specific proof before going no contact. That's why these people have learned how to "play under the table", behind our backs and hold cards "up their sleeves" so that we'll make excuses for them and give them the benefit of the doubt or remain hopeful for change. I used to curse my tendency to have hope. The most freeing thing for me was to find out they will never change.

Koreena Law - It's all a game. And it only works if you play it.

Yes, I have learned so much, from listening to things on the computer ( more recently) helping me to understand what I had experienced. I only wish, that I had had the knowledge prior to all of this, so I would not been such easy prey !

Sian Megginson - Break their legs.

In spades and in exponential expressions! One word of advice from a real veteran of narcissistic abuse: RUN!!!

Truth!

CEVB

@@electricjellyfish375 So they don't continue stalking you!

They have a lot of nerve. Come in with nothing and expect to leave with all the assets. I know there are women gold diggers, but we are shocked that men can be like this.

WTF are you doing tracking his location and reading his emails. Sounds like two messed up people right there. This type of comment is so amusing.

@@ioodyssey3740 your comment is irrelevant and you no clue what you are talking about.

@@ioodyssey3740 sounds like you're a narc!.

Yes. It took a lot of nerve and arrogance of him .

Looks like the old saying was true...."Shit always floats to the top"....at least in this present sick world.

So crazy and so familiar!

@@reesedaniel5835 Narcs of a feather do indeed flock together and create the societies governments and large corporation s we are stuck with

Oh narc bosses they are something' else !

So much for being the "sensitive empath"! Do realize these people suffer. Though it may not be obvious to most folks. Most of the time. Everyone suffers! That is life! And most suffer in about equal amounts.

I feel like I have a natural enmity with narcissists too. We sense each other intuitively and instinctively like humpbacks and Orca. I'm also highly agreeable and empathic.

@@paulortiz8063 Narcissists suffer, it's true, but they make it everyone else's problem and that's the damaging part. There's no point in being empathetic to a person who cannot do the same for you.

G , Good for you making others aware. I hope the Queen Bee 🐝 has flown away. 😉

@@wendyhannan2454 She has. She and her mean husband got isolated at the Club. The are now living in Arizona. 👍😃👍

My heart breaks for your situation and your loss of your beloved dog. We are the same age. Start collecting copies of all your financial accounts. You have rights to your half of the marital assets. Start putting away money, papers and any of your small valuables in a safe deposit box that he doesn't know about. No records kept. Carefully start removing cherished keepsakes and photos. Become non reactive and boring to him. Plan a safe exit and get a bulldog lawyer when you are ready to make a move. Good luck to you.

@@lynnebucher6537 Thank you so much for reaching out. I really appreciate your kind words and most valuable advices. I’ll will do exactly that.

@@orpha9031 Living with a narcissist can have devastating effect on your health. As one of my 7, yes 7, counselors put it “this is a death by a thousand cuts”. That was a slow death in case you didn’t know. I kept thinking that no matter what, I’d hang in there and make it work. At the time, I knew I was dealing with something extraordinary but I didn’t know what it was until one mentioned “narcissism” couple of years ago and told me that these people will never change. Please take good care of yourself. Start today, take back your life. Nothing is more precious than your health. Eat right, exercise, and if you can’t get out, learn how to disengage and protect your well-being. I want to give you a hug if I could. ❤️

I am in the same boat, after 34 years of marriage.

@@elizedoherty4779I’m very sorry to hear. Please take good care and don’t give up on searching for help and support. I wish I can give you a hug if I could. ❤️

i.e. research can only take you so far.

Yep. Although I like that it seems like Dr Grande is starting to take the narcissistic abuse community more seriously.

@Ben Hackett yeah, i wish I didnt understand about it.

Because we’re human and narcissists are anti-human. It’s not something you can understand without living through it.

@@rishaa682 I think he has always taken it seriously he just wishes others did.

I am hoping and praying that when I get out of my situation, that my purpose in life is to come up with changing or creating that if you disturb someone pease for their enjoyment, that you serve time and restitution and more than five years. My story involved sending your parents to prison, so you can take their house and assets, so you don't have to go to work. And watch and enjoy them suffer. Their words.

I tried to warn my ex’s new victim, but they were in the idealization stage. They didn’t believe me and have suffered quite a bit.

Thanks God you got away from her xoxo 😘😂

Im sorry to read this, it happened to me too. My mother was my first narc, got married at 19 and my husband was also the peace keeper codependent in his family with his mother being the queen bee narc. Its a long story as I have complex ptsd having experienced multiple traumas. I suspect my sister has a disorder of some sort as well. Her ex husband (married at the time) attempted to take his life and my husband and I witnessed it and stopped it. I dont want to give details but we are still bothered by what we saw. Before I continue he is alive and well and looking better than I have ever seen him (without my sister.) When I told her that I was diagnosed with PTSD and she didnt understand why even knowing what I had been through and I mentioned how her ex's attempt still bothers me, she responded with "that was a long time ago". I said you arent bothered by it? She said no. Hmmm.

My google search: ignored in relationship

I looked up ptsd and how to stop ruminating about the past. As best I can recall. Thank you Internet indeed! Saved me thousands in counseling fees. I am glad you found out early. Less valuable time down the drain. Very, very cool! Kudos!

@@TrissM That simple, huh. Yeah ghosting and silent treatment is one of their bread and butter go to techniques.

@@marlinadykema6474 Yeah, dissonance with reality, not being able to make sense of anything. These people are extremely selfish and cruel. I think a similar evil spirit operates in all of them. The similarities are always so strikingly similar. It's like meeting two psychopaths who are almost exactly the same, but instead, there are hundreds of thousands of these swamp creatures.

@@blurrylights6344 Thank you. But healing still takes time and staying informed and developing more knowledge about the wounded child archetype that the vast majority of us have. Because it's very easy to revert back to the familiar old patterns that are so destructive for us, yet they feel so natural since we operated in that broken over-empathetic pleasing state for so long, beginning in early childhood. Emotional abuse is no joke.

People don't comprehend stress induced illness. Even doctors don't. They also don't understand effect of pain on personality. Our culture implicitly and tacitly promotes narcissism through the winner/loser paradigm.

I'm a Yr older than you & I know exactly how you feel & felt....same for me.

I dont believe it makes YOU turn into a Narcissist , but it DOES change your life and is extremely damaging. It can take years to get back to even close to who you used to be. You will never be the same....it does forever change your life.

I feel Your Pain; we have a Cousin'W.Dee." who, if you don't pay enough attention to her( she is a guest in a huge event).. she will Make a DISRUPTIVE SCENE.. train wreck !

Praise God- You’re young!!! I’m 74!!!

@@sula1529 Narcissistic Fleas

Good comment.

Yep, it really affects you in a huge way.

It does affect on a soul level. I worked at a place with narcissistic people. I noticed my energy levels dropped when I got to work and by mid day I was extremely sleepy and difficulty staying awake at work. When I left work I had a huge surge of energy and felt like a weight fell off me. I quit the job and felt amazing. Narcissistic people are draining on so many levels. Pay attention to your energy levels always 💯 👌 ✨️ 😌

I work for one now. It is maddening. But then I remember that if I went somewhere else, there would probably just be another one.

Wow !!! The ex narc sued his company for the same thing about his salary when he was let go!

Last week I started a job that I thought was going to be wonderful. I was interviewed by 2 senior ladies, and my to-be supervisor kind of sat in. They welcomed me with open arms, but I kept getting comments on my first 3 days "Oh you're still here!" "Wow, you came back". Once is a joke but when literally everyone you run into says it..... I lasted the three days. My supervisor told me the financial circumstances and stupidity/uselessness of everyone in our department, both past and present staff. When she started in on "their stupid little accents" regarding foreign workers I had enough. The blow by blow account of a previous workers nervous breakdown at work, that alone I am sure would have been grounds for her dismissal, but, not my responsibility. Evil woman. I have vowed now to spread Love, Joy, and Happiness and have put it as my Objective on my resume.

@@Chahlie, I am so very sorry you went through this! But very happy you got out right away. You have good sense. I hope you are re-employed, or soon will be 💕

Same.

Should be compulsory viewing for all managers and HR departments.

I noticed one industry that seems to attract a lot of narcissism is entertainment radio. And narcissists seem to have an odd idealised role model/contempt attitude with each other. It's odd when you see narcissists actually having a dysfunctional love for each other.

Honor Yourself well said. Just walk away. No need to be in danger.

Honor Yourself, yes they make it so it's not worth speaking up about anything. Put up and shut up, narcs way or the highway.

@@andreasleonlandgren3092 e

brilliant!

This

Exactly what happened to me

jb i've turned into a recluse because of similar situations. Much happier now.

I see that in our company & our department. It’s really depressing & demoralizing. But people try to reason with them & you end up on the chopping block!

Your very intelligent

@@teresaanderson4977 thank you. Sending light.

You are absolutely correct. I have walked that exact same path. EVIL . THESE PEOPLE ARE JUST EVIL !!!

An easy taget, and the narcissit treats People differently. You are so right.

Lots of useless, poorly trained counsellors whose poor training is based solely on Rogers and have no idea of cluster B personalities.

@@sarahdlp524 Sadly yes same with MSW. And other clinical social workers...terrible training that society is to blame for all psychopathology Sybil Francis PhD clinical psychologist and professor since 1979

Hi there , sorry to hear about your experiance , been through exactly the same , of my parner , trying to get my daughter help

My therapist that I've had for years didn't see what I saw about a narcissist. That astounded me.

Gosh, maybe the rest are all narcissists so they don't think they need this! Yikes!

Dr Ramani is also excellent in explaining narcissism for those curious and her channel is a great resource for victims of their abuse.

He does have “millions of subscribers”. Dr. Grande my excellent therapist ( 25 years ago) tried to fully educate me about NPD. But until 2019 I really had no idea how morally corrupt these people are. This a necessary life skill children in middle school on,need to educated about. This video, is the clearest explanation about these destructive members of society. BRAVO! BRAVO!

I would not try that with family member who has some control

Mine has a very flat effect, no eye contact

You can't tell them because they are manipulative and will use that information to be a better manipulator. The information is for you to protect YOU from them. Don't try to fix them. You can't.

Are you serious ???? Actually THE SCHOOL is breading narcissists these days.

More power to you. God Bless

I also was raised by a narcissist mother and narcissist father. It was hard to emerge from that with any shred of self esteem. I was heavily criticized and treated with disdain for the slightest error even as a young child. I was not allowed to make any normal mistakes that children make. And, when I did well and succeeded, I was also criticized because high level narcissists have pathological envy even for their own offspring. I realized in my mid 20s (after living on my own) that they were unreasonable and it was that they were strange and not that I was a "bad kid". I, like many adults raised by narcissists had generalized anxiety disorder. Eventually, I developed enough self esteem to allow me to say Enough! But, the journey to full no contact was gradual and occurred in stepwise fashion-- There would be an incident in which both of them would attack me cruelly and twist the narrative. It would be illogical and there was no reasoning with them as rational, mature adults because narcissists are like children. They will double down and triple down in their lies. I would learn to distrust them after these episodes and they would bring back very specific memories from childhood and finally understood how they had damaged me as a kid. I learned not to tell them personal information about me as a way to try to dodge the criticism. But, ultimately, there was no way to have an adult relationship with them that was comfortable for me because they thrived on being cruel and drama and were not capable of having a mutually respectful, real and mature relationship with anyone. So I pulled away and cut the emotional ties bit by bit over the years and then finally could not even bring myself to pick up the phone to call on Father's Day or Mother's Day. I went full no contact at age 50 and have never regretted it.

@@treasuretrovel3816 So sorry to hear you had to deal with that, but it is comforting to know that other people have experienced the same - it is real, even though its invisible. Thankfully the more we learn the easier it is to understand, accept and move on with life. Just a shame for so many people are suffering without knowing why and how to get the help they so desperately want and need. I hope you are well. Sending lots of love and positive energy from bonnie Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

@@mikebuckner2663 God bless! ✨️

You are the first person who like me had narcissistic parents but I wasn’t when I was young I new there was an us and them but wasn’t sure of what it was they were evil angry abusive people my father had a very powerful job my poor sister was beaten my brother became an abuser myself in recovery from chronic alcoholism 24 years now in AA the program though it has taken a long time with psychiatrists help to bring out the person god always wanted me to be ....my oldest daughter is a staff nurse narcissist my younger daughter a performing addict ... it can be lonely I stayed single for 25 years met the narc I new something wasn’t right but he was so plausible we married 2010 I left 2017 still trying to get rid of him I have posted below .... my question is why didn’t I become a narc ? It can’t always be the case if your parents are narcs their children will be thank god

The scapegoat from the Bible is such an absurd, ridiculous idea. Who can believe you can put all the communities sins on a goat and drive him/her off to the wilderness and the community problems will be gone? Not then, not now, not ever. Such b.s.

I experienced and did the same, that's a good description of the situation, thank you. Of course, there is always a part on both sides. The difference is that I admitted my shortcomings, while he never did. But Dr. G. helped me quite a bit to overcome my bitterness about this person. He now feels like a stranger to me, I had never really known this person, and he never understood me. In a way, we had never really met each other, and that is the good thing. Take care! 👍

It's crazy how they expect you to take responsibility for their disgusting behavior. Even after the situation is over they will say things like, "we both could have done things differently?!" And your like"ummm, I did not cheat, lie, hide money, or abuse you, that was ALLL you dude" You can't hold me responsible for the things you did behind my back.

Don't be too hard on yourself. No good person is immune because we don't believe there are people like this that exist. We have empathy and think things like no ones ever been there for them etc... we don't grow up believing theres a large portion of people that don't care in the least about other people. It seems almost not human. That's what gets us and they know. In there mind "keep thinking people are generally good at the core. Your not smart and that's why people like me have to do what we have to".

@@crazycatladyinc9191 if your family ever made YOU the scapegoat, you would understand.

Dr grande I have been through hell I thoroughly agree with everything you said and it's my daughter who is the narcissist

Omg...simillar situation here years ago.

I keep hearing the same things about female bosses and have the same experience myself.

Could you have reported her and her rage on the grounds of an unsafe workplace environment? Narcs deserve every ounce of punishment their garbage personalities earn them.

I hope you’ve been able to separate yourself permanently from the reach of that dangerous person - it never ends well for the subject of the narcissistic abuser.

@@theinsufferablebutthole8923 narcissism is more prevalent in men

Yes ... not against the law but should be. Our laws do not address narcissistic behaviour and the consequences to victims.

Like verbal abuse as opposed to physical abuse. Equally damaging. Should be against the law. As long as one has the proof.

Not everything has to be done by the government. Government is alluring to narcs after all. It's up to the common folk to create a culture that would ostracize narcissists.

One of the best! I also somehow find myself using "insidious" with narcissism. But perniciousness has a more pervasive feel :)

Oh! Dr. Grande just took the "insidious" out of my mouth. Great minds think alike :)

Are you german, too? 😊

@@DS40764 I like the language learning effects of his vids, too. 😊

Mrs. Reluctant. No, I’m American with maybe 25% German ancestry. I think the German is, Birgit. 😊 I just knew pernicious to be, pervasive but the definition is more than that.

So true!!!

LOL, I had to look up the exact meaning of " pernicious", because its one of those words I think I know what it is, but not really. Oops. 🤪

@@dogie1070 Me too exactly, but then I'm also not sure what a pancake circus is. Does seem like a fun Sunday morning though.

@@peaceonearth8693 it was a diner in my hometown. Had a neon clown juggling...balls or were those pancakes? Funny name!

2 thumb ups

Me too, great word. I had to look it in the dictionary and the definition, just rock... 👍

Me too 😢

Same, just beginning the rabbit hole of discovery. Going no contact has been my only reprieve from pernicious insanity, in order to allow space to piece together the damages, because it has played out through relationships all over my adult life in ways I was completely blind to.

I could have written this word by word..not alone! .. lots of love on your healing journey. .💖

Mine too. My mother is an overt narcissist and my father covert. I don't talk to them anymore and the rest of my siblings who are either narcs or flying monkeys.

I'm commenting here bc we have the same situation, narcs in my world include mom, dad, brother, exhusband, ex-significant other. I reconnected with my cousins in the last few years. We've pieced together who are the golden ones, who are the scapegoats and which grandparents participated in the insanity. I'm here to say, reach out to God for the strength to FORGIVE THEM. You'll truly be free & sleep comfortably (for the first time). I'm saying, do it for your own sanity. Quit feeding them. They want & need to control you & your emotions. Quit RE-acting. Lay boundaries (expect angered outbursts in response) Do NOT REACT. We can't change others. We can only change our own responses to others. When they (narc) can't control you, they'll find a new supply. They might actually walk out & leave you. You can likely expect to receive "the silent treatment" for a few years. They are vampires that will feed on whatever they can find. To be free of them, forgive them & move on.

look into the term "grey rock" it might help you.

risha a if only it was that simple 😬 I’m in the middle of a divorce and I have a feeling this is going to be a struggle for the rest of my life or until my kids are grown.

@@Jennycosmo1 im sorry. Maybe you already know but there is some information out there on how to co-parent with narcissists. From what I have read strict boundaries are key. But I do know grey rock has helped me a lot in the past when removing narcissists from my life and just generally keeping myself safe.

They get energy from the (emotional) reactions of others. Staying calm when provoked in heavy emotional states and keeping your boundries up is not simple.

Relentless, determined - it's like they are the chess Master moving people around on a chessboard. They never quit.

My narc mother received joy from perpetuating a five decade placement of her reason she could never see me as my siblings equal. Satan smiled using her face. Am no contact now.

"But karma." Right.

@@Anna-xn8ds Karma was made up by narcissists, people with low agreeableness traits that end up abusing others. Good fruit can only come from a good tree. They manipulate, control, deceive, steal and abuse to get what they want, just because they can, and because they enjoy causing suffering. Then they say they won because they're so great...it's karma, ignoring all the cheating, theft and destructive evil they did to "win." When they abuse, destroy and run their feet with haste to every evil they may do to you...hey, it's karma. It's what you deserve. Really!?

Amicus: How are narcissists actually winning, if they already lost their humanity when they were little kids, thanks to questionable parenting? You have a quite strange idea of winning, or you aren't thinking things through. I would say narcissists more likely just want to even the score, when it comes to destroying other people.

@@kurpalm0n966 they win because everyone seems to love and support them while the scapegoat gets their life destroyed by these cretins and their minions and gets shitted on. im living this right now and yes she seems to be winning at life while im a perpetual loser. it happens everyday. im not talking about winning in the spirituals ense but in the practical, real-world sense

@@corsicanlulu What you call "winning", I call "compensation". I'm guessing there is no right or wrong here. Did you forget that loads of narcissists (the vulnerable types particularly) were scapegoated children themselves? When someone suffers too much, is it suddenly okay to reduce them into a "cretin", as you so subtly did? Also, you seem to exaggerate quite a bit by saying "everyone seems to love and support them". Truth is, only the truly empathic people and codependents love&support the narcissists, because it's their mission really. In my experience the aforementioned people are rare treasures.

I suggest blocking him and blocking everyone who believed him, they might still be saying stuff but you won't see it and you will feel better. Also, people have short attention spans and eventually they'll find someone else to pick on. Don't let them know they bother you. Try to ignore them completely. Get out and meet new friends and start doing things for you. I found a lot of really nice true blue friends through humble church with kind people that don't have big egos.

Stephanie M,Hope you are not with a narcissist.......

And when you're murdered by those who "love" you, what chance do you have with the rest of the world!?

@@noplacelikehome2.0 I understand that

I fully understand your description of what you went through Stephanie M. They have no moral compass. Their evil insidious intentions are devastating. 5 years of hell with my narcissist. I finally went no contact 6 months ago. I had 3 mini strokes, stomach issues, nose bleeds daily, migraines, depression, anxiety. My health is slowly improving. Physically and mentally. I refuse to allow him to take anymore from my life. I wish you the best. Stay strong and keep educating yourself. 🤍❤️

Penelope Conlan EMDR is the best!

Ditto. Sorry you suffered this too.

@@jgarofalo8813 what is EMDR?

@@dianefarley37 therapy type

God bless you

Sounds like you are on your way to success! Praying for you! ❤🙏❤🙏

My relatives shunned me because I didnt agree with them Re: politics and religion. One called me hateful; the other said that no one wants to hear what I say. That's why they blocked my phone number.

This describes me. The more if exists in the population the more it will propogate

Take care of yourself. Write things down. I even record things if people start changing the story. That brings your mental health back quickly.

Called the generational curse . We're the only ones who can change anything , with awareness , a consciouse effort , and God .

Yes excellent comment. HR should get educated.

Snakes in suits good book.

I did..I put the clan of liers to the world and said they can kiss my axx...lowlife scum.. wicked falsehood of people who play games with other's life..then they want to play VICTIM...never forget that I slept on the floor in the beginning and left SLP on the floor prior to leaving... pathetic lowlife people.. oh yes, memory ISSUES, that's what a so called friend did..played games when I called her out with games... gossiping about everything each day.. lowlife people...then make fun of me...like I'm the ISSUES.. what happens in the dark will come out to the light..

Paraphrasing you…. The main reason they get away with N is because of ignorance and a lack of will on the part of others to stand up to it …… this is so true

Just give her a hand grenade and say "go for it!"

Well done for having the courage and foresight to fight your corner,wish more people could do the same.these monsters should never be feared.take them down 💪

I was going to say, he probably reported you out of jealousy and that his percentage was a lot lower, then I finished reading and I saw that I was correct. I don't suffer the fools either. I'm a good employee and I've had managers fight to get me. I went with the highest salary, of course. No employer I have ever worked for has had cause to complain. Stay well. Stay strong. Stay cool 😎😎😎.

Good for you! I am glad you got the payout and documented everything.

Good for you!

Good for you! Hoo-rah! I'm proud of you!