Huge respect for talking about this stuff so openly. You are on the right path 👍

I can relate my friend, don’t feel too bad, I’m stuck at home again with my parents in my mid-40s after 20 years on my own…it’s a very toxic situation and I am tempted to go out and live in a tent and sleep rough.

Hey Adam, thank you for sharing. ❤ Here's the issue as I see it. 🙂 At the very core of our "life energy/force" is the feeling/knowing that we are loved for being "uniquely" us. This probably doesn't make a lot of sense, so I will illustrate what I mean by this. 🙂 So as young children the majority of us are fortunate to be showered with "love and recognition" for what we outwardly demonstrate as our unique achievements and accomplishments and that could be anything from our mannerisms/words we say to discovering answers to things that initially baffled us to attaining all manner of accomplishments. This in turn gives us self-pride and also a "conscious" awareness that our parents love us and are proud of us for who we uniquely are coupled with a "conscious" awareness of what it is about us that makes us unique and sets us apart from others. It has depths and layers to it, in that it gives us a foundation of understanding of who we are coupled with all the momentum at the core of our life energy to become more bold and explore to see what else we can accomplish. It is achieving for ourselves and also for our parents as we also demonstrate our appreciation for their love and the pride in us they demonstrated/bestowed upon us. There is a bond of love here as we start to set about achieving for ourselves and become more aware of what we can achieve for ourselves as our belief in ourselves grows in tow. Now lets look at the first born being more favoured, especially when that first born is of the same gender. The next one in line draws natural comparisons as a "measure" of who they are and where they fit in the hierarchy of it all (this is normal and natural behaviour) and we all do it, whether it be comparing ourselves to peers in school to comparing ourselves to friends, neighbours and work colleagues later in life etc. Now when the second in line sees the first born being favoured they will automatically see themselves as being second best coupled with feelings of being unloved and neglected or even worse. This is an injustice and the only way a parent can put things right is to learn the error of their ways and shower all their off-spring with equal love, equal pride and giving them all equal recognition for their "unique" accomplishments. Otherwise the onus is on the individual off-spring to understand their parents failings and through understanding and compassion learn to move on from this and do their own thing for themselves (the buying of unique clothing could be an illustration of this). Now this clothing was unique to you and perhaps somewhat as a smack in the teeth to your parents who might not have approved of your purchase. It is perhaps the depth of layers as compensation for the on-going injustice you have endured. It is like a sticky plaster placebo effect that made you feel better in the moment as you have a little giggle to yourself. Take that feel good factor away and you are back to hurting. Hope that makes sense. 🙂 If I am honest Adam I didn't really start to flourish and grow as a person until I had responsibility to my significant other and maintaining everything that contributed to their and both of ours well-being. In my opinion well-being always equates to security and stability. Without that solid platform to work from progress will be very rocky and when life's storms hit any progress made might not last... Adam you have a lady friend why not spend a little more time with them. It needn't go anywhere but time shared is a break from your four walls and who knows it might be beneficial for the pair of you. This is only a suggestion my friend and at the end of the day it's about doing what is best and right for you. Why not consult your instinct and see what it tells you. ❤ One more thing, we are the product of our values and what we hold as important in life. It is these things that point us in the directions we strive to succeed in. Adam you give and share so much of yourself, like one brother does for another as information is shared, pooled and learned from. It is only right and natural that you "expect" that outward love to be recognised for its purity and value and to be somewhat reciprocated in return. It's a crying shame your family hasn't recognised this and given you due recognition for it in turn. Rest assured the failings aren't yours and please continue to be you as you go about sharing your values, what you have learned etc. and more of your philosophies to life etc. You have so much more to share and give and your ever increasing subscriber base here is testament of just how much you are getting right as you share directly from your heart. Much love, peace and respect to you Brother. ❤❤

We have to teach ourselves that our feelings do matter. We would tell others their feelings matter, but we don’t take our own advice. Feelings are icky lol, but they make us human. Family dynamics play a huge role. Maybe it’s time to work on refining your role. That’s your narrative you can gradually re-shape overtime.

In regards to personality, the typical personality tests like myers briggs personality tests might help. In addition I found astrology and human design very helpful. Each of these provide helpful insight in the personality. For me those systems were very helpful not only to understand myself much better, but also my family. The reflector type in human design is so open, that such a person is always heavily influenced by the people around him. Nevertheless even a reflector has his unique traits. Those become visible through human design, so that one can concentrate on those.

Finally got a job start next week

Im over 50 and been neutered. They said it was a 1percent chance id be neutered but they did it anyway. I miss Sara. Peace up bruxxa

Hey Adam, I subscribed to your channel when I saw that video about "35 years failed life" and stuff and I have to say that it's pretty nice to see the progress of your channel. I saw that video that I mentioned before seein a lot of pein but now I feel so happy to see the consistency and the work.

It’s a strange for me as me and my older brother have very similar interests so I kind of feels like we are one person, but maybe the cause is from his influence from a young age as we shared a room lol

you need to move out mate... ONE WAY OR ANOTHER! That's when it all starts properly!

save up and do a room mate situation, travel and work combo in europe/uk, anywhere to rock your current stuck situation in THAT house, you need out or you'll stay stuck,ACTION!

Bright undies and naked photoshoots? All roads are leading to somewhere, Adam....;-)

Serious question are you on the spectrum?