She is a strong woman! 💪

i would not encourage a man to be around a cheating POS woman, I'd not encourage a woman to do the same! OP has done the right thing and that prick deserves what's come to him. He didn't deserve her an she'll find someone that treats her right.

Im thinking the same. She needs to be talking to him and getting him to go to HR and the cops instead of just wanting to leave. If the shoe was on the other foot by the story rape would be everywhere along with YAH. Its a shitty situation and he's going nuts trying to process it and know his wife and daughter has turned against him.

It’s not that people are dismissive about it. It’s a matter of different peoples perspectives and life experiences. From OP’s description of events, it sounded to me like the husband and his buddy planned their own after-party with the two girls at his house. I also think he lied about being too drunk to know what he was doing and that was just his go-to answer when he was caught with his pants down. OP checked his phone, but didn’t find evidence of cheating. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, as he might have deleted it or has secret apps. But, the story definitely sounds sketchy.

We still live in an era where men are expected to like/want intercourse and therefor "can't be raped". Even if they are as drunk or drunker then the point where it would be considered rape for a woman. Heck, in the 80s and up into the 90s a man being sexually assaulted tended to be comedy. Just how we were all programed culturally. Even if we claim to turn away from toxic things like that, some part of peoples minds see men as big strong sexually hungry warriors and women as weak meak house makers. We still got a long way to go to completely purge that toxic programming. Not helping the fact are people who actually OPENLY think that or even just SOME of that.

If it is a case of sexual assault, the husband needs to report it to the pllice. Even if people think there is no basis or merit in it. And redditors need to stop painting every story in their own damn colours. Just because it happened to yoy, doesn't mean it will happen to everybody. All that stuff with OP's husbands work colleagues laughing behind OP's back etc made me roll my eyes. Like the commentor basically wrote an entire saga based on her own experiences. Nevermind that people are different being with different experiences and expectations. Everyone wants everyone else to get divorced on reddit. How about instead of jumping to conclusions OP believe her husband was sexually assaulted and stand by him. Because, sure as heck, if the genders were reversed, OP would have gotten YTA's left right and centre. It hasn't even gotten to the point where OP and her husband are discussing reporting it yet and people are jumping to their own conclusions based on their own damn biases. Also, OP making her husband tell their daughter like that was a scummy move.

That's probably why one of the comments suggested asking him if he was assaulted and wanted to press charges. If he was, he might be reluctant but at least consider it. If he wasn't, he might panic at his "I don't remember!" defense being put to the test and slip up. Honestly, I think it's a good suggestion.

Idk I’ve never been drunk before

Exactly...

If it’s a pattern of behaviour and you know you’re flirty and likely to cheat when drunk and continue to get drunk, that’s a pattern of behaviour you’re refusing to address

@@emilybarclay8831 so every drunk flirting woman is at fault for their own rape?

@@jeffklaubo3168 no I literally said if you know you’re likely to cheat if you get drunk and still put yourself in a position where you may cheat that is a knowing action on your part. If you display a pattern of risky behaviour and continue to do that it’s not your fault but you are also not taking care of yourself and your relationship. Someone taking advantage of a drunk person and someone knowingly putting themselves in the position to cheat are not even remotely comparable unless you consider rape to be cheating on your partner. If you get blackout drunk and wake up in someone’s bed once that’s not on you, if you continually get tipsy and flirt with strangers and remember it the next day that’s a situation you’re choosing to put yourself in and the cheating is on you

Yeah but the not wanting to file does not mean he consents. Could be not wanting the sigma of it.

@@user-de2wv8ri8n I'm not saying him not wanting to file meant consent. There's a ton of reasons he may not want to file. But his response would still likely give some clues. If he laughs it off it is different than if he's merely scared no one will believe him.

His mental faculties were definitely incapacitated as evidenced by the fact he was trying to “cheat” on his wife… in their own home… while wife was upstairs… I don’t think too many cheaters go from 0 to 160 their first time around the track, and if there’s no evidence of him actually cheating outside of that one incident… I’m gonna have to say it’s most likely assault. Maybe he wasn’t putting up much of a defense, but I’d buy it that was due to home being incapacitated by the alcohol. The fact that so few of the commenters even considered this fact is pretty on par for Reddit double standards though.

I saw the third story on another video. The TLDR of the update is that the co-worker raped the husband and the wife still doesn’t know if she wants to stay.

​@@Drezha3 hey I'm just saying this video for the first time And I'm not sure if you remember, but do you have the link to the update?

True. If he was so drunk, very possible it was assault and she should def ask it. Or she could ask if they switched places, would he believe her (doubt it( She saw no evidence if affair, doing it once right there that night is cheating too. World has plenty of those people That OP would really need professional help to get things sorted and clarity to situation, not Reddit.

ghosting is immature context-wise

@@brianbarber5401 yeah thats the sad part we as men have been hard wired to believe we cant be raped or assaulted. It sucks

Drunk does not equal consent. Op even admits to how drunk he was. He didnt even know who was on him. She states that he said they all left. As drunk as he was he could have thought that was his wife. Sorry no this needs to be investigated by the cops and hr before anyone gets kicked out.

@@jakebrakejunky10-4 agreed. He was raped and his second class wife is trying to leave him because of it....

@@jeffklaubo3168 totally and it is sad how people just jump on the cheater band wagon. If this had been a woman with this amount of evidence it would be on CNN right now.

@@brianbarber5401 not necessarily true either. There is a huge stigma around being a man who cries rape. Usually to the tune of "what are you not man enough" or "why, are you gay?"

Drunk does not equal consent. The authorities need to be involved. A drunk woman with her pants around her ankles with a man on top of her. Throw her out cuz shes cheating cuz there is no way he pulled her pants down. Do you agree with that.

I agree and think it’s sketchy as hell. To start with, why did he think it was okay to pair up and bring the coworkers home, knowing his wife and daughter had to be in bed early for school and work the next day? I think he and his buddy planned it that way and he claimed being too drunk to know what was going on, after he got caught with his pants down, literally.

@@Sassy_Kat Exactly ! This is what is wrong with this story. How convenient it is that there were two women and two guys . It was as if he and his buddy had paired up with these two women expecting things to go as they did minus the hubby being caught with his pants down. It also stinks like rotten fish because he didn't send them home when the wife went to bed. There were serious boundaries crossed here no matter what that lead to this so the husband is responsible for what happened. The husband made a series of choices beginning with getting so drunk.

@@cisio64123 yes because that husband wasn't drunk when he decided to bring home a woman he finds repulsive along with another couple for an after party. This was the plan all along, they were just really drunk when they started executing it and got caught.

@@bonb213 Yes that's my thought too.

Bro what that dude was raped