I'm so glad this was a blessing. It is tempting to want to try to be in control or to think we have a lot more control than we really do. May we put our faith in the Lord and allow Him to work powerfully in our lives. Blessings!

Exactly! I think that if we act like this (and I was a lot like this in some areas for the early part of our marriage) we don't realize what it is like to be on the receiving end or how difficult it is to live with us. I hope to "drive" (ha!) that point home so we can recognize what we are doing and turn around and go God's way, instead. Blessings!

@@AprilCassidy oh, you did!👍

Yay! Mission accomplished!

You are very welcome. I hope it will be a blessing. ❤️

@@AprilCassidythank you for allowing God to use you and being obedient. May God Bless You Greatly!

Thank you, sweet sister!

Laurie Anne - I'm so glad you like the skits. They are a lot of fun. I hope to do more soon. Much love! ❤️

Thank you! I did a few skits a few years ago, thinking they would be fun and may be more interesting than just me talking about subjects. Then I had some technical difficulties for a long time and recently was able to start uploading videos again from my phone so I decided to do some new skits. To me, they get the point across a lot more powerfully than other ways. Something about seeing and hearing the examples can be really helpful. I appreciate you sharing and the question!

April Cassidy that’s how Jesus taught :)

He used stories a lot. And parables. We often understand those better, for sure.

I think it is helpful to just see some positive examples to give a ballpark idea of what things could be like in a healthier way. I didn't have that when I was trying to learn this stuff. I figured out what to avoid and what was bad. But I had no clue what to replace it with for quite awhile. Thanks for the comment. The feedback is much appreciated.

I feel the same. So great to see positive examples!!

Ha! Yes, it is probably hitting close to home for some. It would have for me years ago! But I think it would have helped me to stop and consider what it was like to live with me back then. Whew! Thank you! Blessings!

Yes, there are several major issues going on, in my understanding, when we feel compelled to try to control others like this. Often, there is a past history of people who should have been in charge and should have protected us not doing their job, or a sense (in childhood), that the adults couldn't handle the situation and we had to be the adults. And then this tends to lead to skewed thinking about God, self, and others. The boundary lines get blurred. We think we are seriously supposed to make sure other people do what is right. We think it is our responsibility and duty to make people do what is best. We don't understand God and His character or sovereignty. We don't understand or honor other people's free will. We are terrified because we believe everything literally depends on us and rests on our shoulders for things to turn out right. So we try to control others to keep the world from spinning out of control. Not realizing the difference between what we can control and what we can't. It takes the power of God, His Word, and some mentoring through the baby steps to heal from this kind of feeling of having to try to control other people and circumstances. But God is able and willing to help us and set us free! I am so thankful!

@@AprilCassidy your transformation is a testimony to the power of God when we surrender to being molded by God. Was starting to embrace feminine dress, long dresses and skirts as a lifestyle, part of your transformation process or did that come later? I ask because I believe women that dress feminine actually start acting more feminine over time, like the dresses and skirts (longer hair) become an accountability tool for how ladies are supposed to act. Is there anything men can do to help heal/transform their controlling spouse, mother, friends?

Yes, all glory to God! As I began to study godly femininity, I did an experiment with my clothes. I tried a one week skirt challenge to see if I felt any different if I dressed more femininely all the time. Especially because I was learning about godly femininity and about giving up trying to control my husband, I really did feel softer and more feminine, which surprised me. Then I began to use skirts/dresses to remind myself that I "didn't wear the pants in the family" as a tangible reminder. There are a lot of things I think men can do. I hope to share some ideas tomorrow. Thank you!

@@AprilCassidy your willingness to listen and change shows your heart and love for God. Many are too hard hearted to embrace change. perhaps that feeling softer and more feminine is why modesty get so much resistance from women today and since the Jezebel Spirit feminists movement started. I know I feel more spiritually aware of things around me when I wear my ankle length tunic to go with my tallit/prayer shawl. I believe there’s spiritual Significance to it we were, hence why Adam and Eve were clothed with skins from the burnt offer after the fall. I believe modest clothes represents Christ as our covering.

Some things I believe men can do (and this just barely scratches the surface): 1. Pray for God's healing for the women (or men) who are ensnared by this controlling mentality. 2. Seek God's wisdom about what to share, how, and when. Many times, a controlling person can't hear or see truth. They don't even know what they are doing. They have very skewed thinking about the most basic core beliefs about God, self, others, responsibilities, love, and relationships. But sometimes, addressing their fears and anxieties, talking about wrong thinking vs. biblical thinking, and inviting them to take some baby steps may help. Other times, they may not be receptive at all. 3. As with anything for a believer, if the stronger believer can deal with any sin in his life and invite God to show him and make him more like Jesus, as he sets a godly example and loves with the power, love, and Spirit of Christ, that can be very helpful. 4. Speaking the truth in love and not playing along with the manipulation and control may be wise. Then, there may be some issues that are small and not worth addressing. This requires great discernment from the Holy Spirit. 5. Seeking to please God more than to please the controlling person is important. 6. Reading about how to understand a controlling person's mindset and wounds may help a man be able to gently lead and shepherd a woman in his life out of the pit. 7. Reading books together, if she is open to it, may help. Especially about core belief issues. But also about the differences between men and women and their needs. Or about personality differences. Or reading Scripture together and reinforcing the truths of God's Word and how it applies to our actions and every day life, not just our heads. It's not just theory, it is the foundation for our living. 8. If she does begin to see her sin, she will need prayer support, encouragement, and affirmation instead of skepticism, irritation, anger, bitterness, and rejection. 9. Praising her when she acts in faith in God may help. 10. Helping her walk through taking her thoughts captive for Christ can be super helpful. 11. Sometimes she just needs a hug to help her relax and calm down. 12. Having a healthy sense of humor and grace can also be a big plus. 13. Reaching out to a godly mentoring couple, a trusted pastor, or a Christian counselor who understands the deep issues and the baby steps needed to recover may be very helpful, too. Blessings! Thanks for the question. And thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Glad you enjoyed it! I pray it will be a blessing.

Thank you for sharing. That is an answer to my prayers!

You're welcome!

Thank you!

I'll do my best! Thanks so much for the feedback.

Thank you! I will try!

Glad you liked it!

Thank you! I pray they will point us all to treat others with honor and to let God transform our hearts and minds.

I really do think sometimes it would help if we had a camera on us. It is so easy not to even notice we are doing this. But it sure is obvious to everyone else. May the Lord help us to let go of this desire for control and act in the power of His Spirit with patience, kindness, and respect for our husbands and others.

I'm glad you like the skits. For over 14 years, I was much more like the first wife in all of these skits than the second. It was only through Christ that He has been working on me and transforming me. All glory to Him! May He bring a great revival to us all.

No - if there were something truly dangerous, I would speak up. But I don't have to constantly tell him how to drive, criticize his driving, freak out about insignificant things, or try to control him every second. The examples I gave were not serious issues where the husband was about to wreck or was truly doing anything dangerous. If a husband were drunk, not in his right mind, having a heart attack, about to pass out, was being reckless, running red lights, or didn't notice something really dangerous, I would sure hope a wife would intervene. Blessings!

Hi Mary, this is really exaggeration what you wrote, that was not April’s point at all and also you put her down, “so sad “ your words.., you sound rather demeaning, April -is encouragement to women. If we do not have something wholesome and for building up others to say , it is better to remain silent. :)...AND it is also good to check the motives of our heart..why do we write or react in certain way..maybe sometimes we recognize ourselves in situations and that is not easy to accept.