I’m 6’2”, 50 years old, have been on HRT 18 months and I socially transitioned a year ago. I think transfemmes can sometimes confuse looking good and passing. These are not synonyms. It’s entirely possible to look great - which I’m told, often, that I do - and not to pass. I actually feel my best chance of passing would be to draw less attention by looking less good, but that is not my nature. I didn’t transition to be a mousy shy girl hiding in the shadows, I did it to finally live my best life. That said, I won’t deny that a part of me is heartbroken to think I may never pass. While almost everyone I encounter is either supportive or indifferent, there is that rare 0.2% of the population that is bigoted and dangerous. I don’t want to wear a target for the rest of my life, but it’s better than being dead by my own hand. And I certainly am far happier in my skin than I ever was before.

I delayed transitioning until I was 67 years of age. I am 6 ft. 2 in. tall. When I began estrogen I resolved that I would proceed regardless of how might I turned out...! I have been on estrogen for6 years now and am happy to report that I can pass EASILY! At my local gym, I use the ladies lockeroom and women stepping naked out of the showers will stop and talk with me! Strangers! That tells me that I am being seen as a woman! I am passing and am happy beyond my dreams and can do nothing but break into a grin whenever I see myself in a mirror! Life has become almost WONDERFUL! My reccomendation is "Go for it!". I would do this again in a heartbeat! Seeing your wildest dream realized is a miracle come true...!

I have many of the same worries about passing. I think the concern isn't one specific aspect. It's the whole. Yes, there are women with say short hair, that are 6 feet tall, that have broad noses, that have large feet, that have broad hands, etc., etc. But when you pile them all up, the mountain feels insurmountable.

I am a 6'6 genderfluid crossdresser. I feel that I pass only because of my confidence in who I am as partly a woman and partly because I have a sense of self that exudes my confidence. I work part-time at a clothing store for women and I feel that my confidence in helping other women and people of trans gender identity making them feel and look their best makes me confident of who I am as a person and what I can do to help others. Be confident of who you are and it really won't matter if you pass or not. You will pass because you believe in yourself that your gender is alignment to your identity and your persona.

No one has 45 minutes to an hour for a Q&A? Please, you could make these 10 hours long and I would still watch them all the way through!!

Amazonia, pre hrt but it is what it is! I was worried about 'looking ugly' but after starting to social transition, i realized, i doesn't matter what i look like at the end, it matters how i LIVE and thats it.

I didn't look back at my past, with any doubts over my gender, until I faced up go the realisation of being trans. My early days of social transition was full of past memories, I didn't realise they were there. It felt like a dam had just burst! Suddenly, I had my mind feeding me examples of my very early childhood, which quite clearly showed me, gender dysphoria has been present all my life. I grew up in the 80s, next month will see the 21st annual celebration of my 30th birthday 😊 I have only started being true to myself 18 months ago, but even with only this short amount of time spent as the real me, I can look back at my past with more objective eyes. it can be very overwhelming, but being open and honest with yourself is always the best way forward. Q6 - There is a great line in star trek 2. Just as the Enterprise is about to leave dock, Spock asks a junior officer to take the helm! Kirk is concerned, but Sock just turns to him and says, "For everything, there is a first time!" so, replace the "I can't" and "it not good enough's" with "do", knowing that you won't have it completely down the first time, allows you to step-up and give it a go. only then will you have the knowledge of what needs adjusting, in order to achieve the desired result.

On the concern of not passing Dr. Z is right. I’m 45 6’ tall and started hrt 5 years ago, I was so scared of not passing as well. Once I started hrt and living my life as the woman I knew I was inside ,the concept of passing faded away and I was just happy being me. This didn’t happen overnight and I do still get my feelings hurt sometimes but it’s few and far between. I also work construction and totally get your fear. I wish you the best 😊❤

You are never too old ! I actually started when in my late 60sand am now 82 and still on hrt and changes still happening .So confident andcontended and recently remarried .

I just had a thought that I think is important to share. I would like to clarify Dr. Z's comment that if it helps with dysphoria transitioning is worth it. Transitioning also has other important elements to think about. If it helps with accepting and living as your authentic self, it is a marvelous thing to do. My transition has made me sense even more how my body does not match my mind. In that sense my dysphoria has increased. However, I feel so much better about my life, and my ability to love and connect with other people.

To the person who is worried about not passing. I was a bit like that when I started my transition at age 46; I'm 5'7" so height is on my side, but I pretty much have total male-pattern baldness (I have some wigs that work well for me). I've been on hormones for about 2.5 years at this point, and I do pass in some situations, but I had no way of knowing that would be the case before transition. I didn't know that I would end up with a 38B chest, so I can't pass as male now. I didn't know that my face would appear more feminine. But as soon as I open my mouth and my bass-baritone voice is heard, I don't pass. I have NO regrets. I am happier, and I have even grown to consider that voice modification (which I do know how to do, and I think I would pass almost 100% if I did that, but I don't have the motivation to practise) could diminish me in some way - the amazing Zheanna Erose (transvoicelessons here on youtube) has feminised her voice to such an extent that she says she can no longer make some of the sounds available to her in her original voice, and I did not want to go down that path. I don't have vocal dysphoria, so why should I practise voice modification? (Though at some point I might consider doing that practise that if safety becomes a real concern for me - I do my best not to put myself in unsafe situations and to withdraw as soon as possible if I find myself in one, so I've not found it necessary. I'd probably also seek to emigrate to a safer country rather than try and pass if it got really bad, like it has in some US states.) Everything about transition is personal to you. This is about raising your level of happiness. Most people I interact with on a daily basis are aware of trans people, and I think they go through a fairly rapid process of thinking something like, "This is weird - why does this woman have a man's voice? Perhaps they are trans, or perhaps there is a medical reason for it. Okay, but they seem just like anybody else I would meet in all other respects. That's cool, then." If they are uncomfortable, I don't think it lasts long. And I feel that I am doing my bit for others by existing in public and showing that one does not need to conform to gender stereotypes and can also live a successful, normal life. Other youtubers had shown me that this was possible before I decided to pursue transition. I've had a small number of negative experiences but nothing like what the media would have you believe. (Unfortunately, the media really isn't helping.) But I'm free to be me, at last. That really is priceless in a world where I simply grew too upset to carry on living my life as a man. If you're trans, you transition for your own happiness, not for anybody else. I hope this helps!

Hi Dr Z I started transition at 64 I have had FFS at 66 and I am so happy and watching your videos over past 2 and half years has also helped.

I'm a trans woman with many cis women friends. I have alot of things I don't like about myself but so do cis women. I'm 6 ft 4 inches tall. All my cis female friends are jealous of my long legs. I only get misgendered by transphobic people. My cis female friends complain about facial hair and all the other things that make us worry with our dysphoria. Point is, everyone has issues with their self about something so it's kinda normal. Just love yourself and you will be happier. ❤

I also am six foot tall with broad shoulders. I just started my social transition. I also am very concerned with passing. Right now, I am not passing. Yet, as Dr. Z says, the more I come out in different ways the happier I am. My dysphoria may have even worsened some, but overall I am now living as my authentic self and my life is so much better. It is nice to hear Dr. Z talk about the desire to pass becoming less salient as trans people come out. I can see how this can happen and hope that happens with me. I too am much older and soon will be seventy years old. I have been on HRT for nine months and have had laser hair removal. Now, I am considering FFS. I doubt bottom surgery is in my future, but you never know. Medical transition has been a G-d send for me. Psychologically, I struggle with how I was able to repress my gender issues for so many years. Regardless, I now accept I am trans. Honestly, for me there is no going back and I am so glad for that!

Thank you for such a great content and so open minded approach. Amazing how you can expand mind ❤

Thank you Dr Z it's very beautiful and helpful

Tall girls unite 😂❤ Let's focus on passing as YOURSELF. 🎉❤ While I don't like my giant head at times, I'm pretty comfortable with my almost unnoticeable adam's apple, bubble bum and overall soft lines (jawline sold separately😂). But what matters most is an overall positive attitude and making baby steps (or individual giant leaps) towards the right direction 😊

I'm a nearly 60 year old person, identified male at birth. I'm about 6'3" and 250lb. I began gender bending / cross dressing at about age 11. I have a very strong feminine aspect to my personality which I would say is the dominant part of my personality. I live my non work life mainly as a female but also mainly in the closet which makes me significantly socially isolated. I work as a mental health practitioner and worry about the effect that transitioning would have on my patients. I also worry about how my local community responds to me presenting as female, mainly due to having had some regular and very negative experiences where I was name called, where my car was regularly vandalised and my car was regularly smeared with take away food and objects were thrown at my house windows. I also have a very xenophobic family who, whilst I love them dearly, do not make my goal of transitioning an easy ride. My formative years were in the 70s when the issue of being transsexual wasn't really recognised and little boys who felt that they should have been little girls or who wanted to be girls were thought to have mental health problems. As time has passed by, I really feel an increased need to transition but my lived experiences and my family are impacting on me starting to transition. It doesn't help that I have a massive needle and blood phobia, which makes me worry about how I would cope with surgery. Any help and advice you can offer would be hugely appreciated.

Gwendoline Christie is 6 ft 3 in. My cisgendrr cousin is 6 foot. I myself hovers around the 6'3" mark. It grabs extra attention but I do not think it makes passing impossible. I also think passing is relative. There's stealth where people see you as cis, and I am jealous of those girls. And then there's passing where people know you are trans but you are accepted as a woman (or man whatever that case may be). When you first start transitioning you will look back and you will be embarrassed. Guess what? You ate going through that awkward "tween" stage. It doesn't look so ridiculous when 11 or 12 and everyone is awkward. I get it as an adult it sticks out. Only advice is you have to stop making excuses. There are no short cuts. You have to do it. Yeah, you'll look like a clown at first, but your hair will grow out. You will find your style and it probably won't be the same style as when you first started. Be thankful you haven't invested tons of money on clothes you wouldn't wear later down the road. Eyeliner is a pain. I have days where I'll put it on and take it off many times. Don't beat yourself up if you aren't perfect. Laugh at yourself and push forward. When you fall pick yourself up. It gets easier, and you will be mad at yourself for giving into fear and not being yourself sooner.

I was originally worried about my height, but I quickly realized that I was just being silly. Yes, I am 6'2, but my cis sister is slightly taller than me and my nephews are all around 6'8 - 6'9. I'm just a woman from a tall family.

I just don't want to be arrested for going out and wind up getting killed in jail I live in Ohio it's not the worst state but I don't want to take the risk

I mean fear of not passing is pretty real and I’ve had the same fear and guess what…I’m not passing even after two years of HRT. For that reason I’ve decided I’ll not socially transition for safety reasons as well and I just don’t want to look like cross-dresser. So there are options and benefits just transition in some areas and still be ok with that.

I am 15. AFAB. Lately I looked more into my past. When I was 13/14 and puberty came dysphoria hit me really bad. Befor that I didnt really thought about beeing trans. But looking back now, there were a few things (even though my memory is quite bad). So, I used to pretend I had a penis quite often (when I was alone in my room); I really really liked when in primary school everyone was a penguin character, and in the breaks we played their life (we did this for years lol) and I was a male penguin; I used to not want pink things, dresses and stuff like that bc. I thought that this is for girls. I even thought I couldnt like horses bc of that. And for some reason I thought that my voice would drop when I puberty hit and I wouldt get my period (even though I knew that it was stupid) like, I was so proud, that I was the last one of my class to get my period; when my breasts started to develop I tried to avoid showering, and when I had to I would try not to look down. and I remember some things that could be euphoria: when I got the "boys" lego for my birthday; when we visited family for some days and they had only boys, so I could play with the boys... One time a girl thought that I was a boy and I cant stop thinking about that and smile. My parents allowed me to download insta in march of 2023 pr sth. The non binary people I saw, gave me the feeling of having found who I am, and who I wanna be when I grow up. I still question myself almost everyday. But I thinks that has to do with nearly everybody around me beeing transphobic. I have heard so many transphobic comments, that I sometimes question, if nb people really excist. I am so done with feeling like this. I dont think, I can deal with hiding my identity much longer.

It's not about passing, it's about sending a message.

I really love her videos. I'm a transgender woman myself and certainly get a lot out of them. There is some troubling backlash on and coming from the political right in this country and all around the world. Some of this is plain bigotry but some of it is legitimate reactionary concern. Making people think that you're f****** with their kids is certainly no way to make friends. Of course, a lot of this is almost like satanic panic, but I'm sorry, a 4-year-old child does not have the necessary cognitive ability to know whether he's a boy or a girl, he may feel or she may feel a certain way. I'm not saying that this is not legitimate but at 4 years old for a parent to then jump to the conclusion that they are transgender to me seems itself concerning. I remember when I had to see not a psychologist but a psychiatrist for 2 years to get a letter. This can be hard for a lot of people and is certainly a type of gatekeeping, but looking back and seeing that some kids watch a tick tock video and get influenced by a peer group and get their breasts removed or bottom surgery detransition a year or two later and then have their lives unalterably changed without any road stops or anybody to intervene along the way is also concerning to me. When we have doctors that no matter what the pat ient's story that immediately somehow can justify. Oh yes, you're definitely transgender he's also concerning. In the case of the 54-year-old man who specifically States Dad, he never had gender dysphoria or felt uncomfortable in his gender his entire life, but at 54 years old suddenly feels as if he's transgender, and the doctor's reaction to this is that yes he must be? That seems a little ridiculous to me. This person is liable to be going through changes in his life that he wishes to escape from or is liable to have watched a KZfaq video or seen a movie or anything that could have influenced him, and yet he goes and sees a doctor and instead of that doctor questioning him hands him some HRT medication and suggests maybe surgical intervention that seems to be exactly the problem.

Dr. Z I'm 5'10 in height and what I've found no one really pays attention to me and to my surprise I noticed there are a lot of cis woman that are taller than me. I use to worry but since I've gone full time I really don't think about height much as others have no issue with me being taller than the average female. The only hard part about being taller for me is having larger feet and it's harder to find shoes! As far as being to old I just turned 60 this past June while I been on HRT for years I had a BA and a BBL in 2022 at the age of 59 ten days before my birthday. I won't have my bottom surgery until June 2024 10days before my 61st birthday. As my surgeon told me you can have surgeries as long as your healthy surgery won't be much of an issue.

61 is not old? Here I am 20 years younger thinking I may be too old to medically transition. Though I'm going to give it a go. After all what do I have to lose?

I never really saw height as a factor in someone being manly or feminine. Passing or not passing doesn't have to do with height, it's more about your body fat distribution than anything else, I see plenty of women that have broader shoulders and they correct for it easily with proper fashion sense. Don't underestimate eyebrows and don't slack on voice training.

Thank you so much! 💗👏 I started HRT at 40yr 9 months ago and it was the best choice i everr made :)) Tbh transitioning later is the way to go bc you've typically already conquered the rest of life by then.. I've always blended in androgynously and have no real family besides my daughter who totally accepts me! Now bc of my patience and my mom's genetics, I have ginormous b-cups and I'm cuter than ever! 💃🪭

After removing testics we can not get sexual desire mentally , naturally n phically so can we get adjusting both sides testics m to f sex change operation ❤❤ my sex change friends tell me after sex change sexual desire decreasing by 99% mentally and physically ❤its just for peace of mind and build up confidence level high pls help me

@resistance .... you are trying to much at once, that's pretty normal. Talk to a Dr. sounds to me like hormones might help.