Ep 3 • Cohabitation | CHRISTian Dating & Marriage Podcast

Рет қаралды 48,646

Күн бұрын

Our Premise - If we can save one woman from a single dusty, this will have all been worth it.
00:00 Teaser
00:34 Introduction
00:59 Little Known Fact - Prehistoric worms in Russia wake up
02:25 Topic Introduction - Cohabitation
03:10 Cam's first thoughts on cohabitation
04:44 Joyce's first thoughts on cohabitation
07:17 Having children while cohabitating
[[ 08:05 Article Introduction - www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/op... ]]
09:00 Attitudes of young people on the notion of cohabitating
09:22 Statistics of success in relationships & marriage after cohabitating
09:44 The cohabitation effect
09:53 "Sliding and not deciding"
10:25 The real agenda of cohabitating | Refusing to make the true commitment
11:22 Consumer Lock-In, High set up and switching costs
14:27 Cohabitation is an ongoing audition to be a wife
14:52 Regrets of cohabitation
15:01 Relationships based on convenience and ambiguity
16:05 Relationships on Layaway
16:34 Cohabitation almost ensures lower relationship quality and/or the end of the relationship
17:10 Marriage ultimatum after cohabitation
18:28 Cohabitation thwarts the development of the man
20:34 Why Cameron did not choose cohabitation
21:56 Christian women, cohabitation is not the answer.
23:12 "Women, you're taking away leadership rights."
26:00 Marriage is about the commitment and not the living situation
28:08 How do Christians end up cohabitating?
35:20 Final thoughts.
42:35 Bible verse of the day.
#cohabitation #Podcast #LivingTogether
Hi there, my name is Bindi Marc, his name is Cam and this is #NotOneOfYourLilFriends the podcast. We do opinion pieces on love, sex, and dating from the perspective of two people in a Christian husband and wife relationship. While much of the relationship advice we discuss may surround the specific challenges of Black women looking to enter into marriage, our dating advice may be useful to women and men of all backgrounds who are looking to level up in general. Today's topic is the notion of cohabitation and its place on the journey to marriage.

Пікірлер: 168

@princess-bf2cn 2 жыл бұрын

I know this comment may be a bit off-topic but I really just enjoy watching the way that she interacts with her husband anytime he says something immediately she stops what she was doing or was about to say and gives her full attention to him and allows him to fully Express himself without interrupting him and also respecting the things that he has to say which in my opinion is very feminine and thought that was just something subtle but should be admired

@el-skelator-gore4643 2 жыл бұрын

It’s extremely rare in black woman especially. Very feminine with extremely great dose of self awareness…and emotional discipline

@patriciabrooks4186 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for these videos. It helps me when I counsel my grandchildren. You are very thorough & show how God’s way is the better way.

@1Cor13.4-7 2 жыл бұрын

Such a beautiful observation and valuable contribution to the conversation. Coincidentally, I recently had a consult with a team of 2 female business partners. Both were very gracious, even in the way one, in particular, kept interrupting her business partner. 🤗 She acknowledged and apologized every time. LOL! As the observant listener, first, I thought/prayed, “Lord, help me to not do that and/or be that way.” Because interrupting is rude. But we all do it from time to time. But, I have to say, the irony is that it was a bit humorous how graciously the interrupter continued to interrupt. 🤗 Not something you see every day.

@giftofgabbi6586 2 жыл бұрын

@@el-skelator-gore4643 :/

@ennaishi 2 жыл бұрын

@@el-skelator-gore4643 no the hell it isn't "rare" in black women. Skrew your sick, non productive, sexist, and prejudiced comment! Comments like this are ridiculously toxic and are flat out lies designed to destroy the image of black women and perpetuate that black women are less deserving. Just stop the ignorance! She isn't doing anything other than having a conversation which is what people do and she pauses since they are recording content which is a conversation for other people sooooooo it doesn't flow like a natural conversation necessarily would since the content and topic is predecided. To even compare this or anything to black women as a monolith is just flat out ignorant.

@georgina4874 2 жыл бұрын

❤️ It's good to see couples representing Christ.

@jesusislife2837 2 жыл бұрын

You guys are definitely speaking the truth 👏 My husband and I shacked up, unfortunately, before we got married and I don't advise it at all. Too much temptation if you're following Christ, and it's just not wise. Plus, scripture says to Flee fornication 1Corinthians 6:18. Thank the Lord Jesus we've been married for almost 15 years now and I give all glory to the King of Kings for sustaining us.

@zonkebellamkhomazi2977 2 жыл бұрын

Amen 🙏 sis

@JillKirchner 2 жыл бұрын

I like your quiet and soothing voice when talking and not trying to talk over your husband. That is such a wonderful way of communicating. Women seem so loud and annoying these days, but you are a lady. ❤

@LIFEOFMARIAHANDBOSS 11 ай бұрын

I love how her husband always point out things his wife always say. It lets me know he be paying attention to his wife and every detail she be saying

@Faaade_ 3 жыл бұрын

I see soo much crap relationship info online even from christian married couples, you guys seem so balanced and in tune with each other. Love it!

@addiebeck7810 2 жыл бұрын

Bindi, Thank you for this reality check. My boyfriend and I needed this truth so badly. We are stuck and struggling because we are avoiding the reality and the true satisfaction of marriage for short term relief.

@candyxoxo19 9 ай бұрын

Has your boyfriend proposed yet?

@theparttimehomemaker Жыл бұрын

A great topic for discussion. I personally couldn't live with my husband or anyone prior to marriage and abstain. I don't know how couples do it. You may be OK with cohabitation and not being married, but once you start to take your faith seriously and take the Scriptures that talk about the roles of husbands and wives seriously, you'll become bitter and dissatisfied in your relationship. Cohabiting will only lead to problems after the initial honeymoon period is over and once you decide to put God's word first.

@Jasmyne444 2 жыл бұрын

Your husband is very wise! I love this intelligent conversation - I could listen to you both forever! 😊 we need more Christian influence and opinions pushing back against today’s cultural “norms”

@lisafromindiana1718 2 жыл бұрын

I like the old saying..."Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

@Sociologeek247 Жыл бұрын

God has truly made your marriage a gem, what an awesome encouragement!!! You guys are a team for His glory and the wisdom He’s given you is such a gift to be heard.

@CherishMyDaughter 3 жыл бұрын

You guys explained this so well. Keep doing these videos. I love seeing such a young couple walking in the wisdom of the Lord. And ya'll can communicate it?!!!! Well done.

@Bindi_Marc 3 жыл бұрын

Throughout the video, we regularly referenced 1 Thessalonians 5:22 "Abstain from all appearance of evil." After giving it further thought, we do not believe the intended meaning of that verse instructs us to "avoid [even] the appearance of evil" as we originally thought. While still standing by the points made, for transparency's sake, we wanted to make the clarification known.

@mrs.h7171 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Bindi for you and your husbands voice as a younger generation in a time when many are living for themselves or lost without guidance. Can you please explain why you changed your mind and what you believe 1 Thessalonians 5:22 verse means to you? As far as we understand it, we are to be a witness for Christ. Living with someone you are dating does not reflect Christ's character and does give the appearance of sin if one is unmarried. A scripture may not spell out the details (living in sin) and is a principle that has a wide sweeping application. Thank you again for your efforts to bring light and love to so many!

@patriciaproffitt7243 2 жыл бұрын

I believe that applying this scripture in this situation is necessary. Let's say you have an unmarried Christian couple that decided to move in together. That they agree that they will even have their own bedroom and bathroom and COMPLETELY abstain from sex. To maintain their own individual holiness by not committing sexual sin. While my husband will openly "warn" Christian people that they are going to hell for living together, I am more concerned with not just that person's salvation but also the witness it presents to anyone that knows about the cohabitation. In this world, if you tell someone that you're living together, you KNOW that the automatic thought is that you're sleeping together. It doesn't matter if you tell them about your "Holiness" agreement and that the two of you ARE really staying true to it. It goes to worldly perception that there's no way that a "Couple" can live together and not have sex. So because of this a Christian couple is just deceiving themselves believing that what they're doing is ok in the eyes of God or society. Society itself may be accepting of anyone as cohabitating, but to try and maintain that you are cohabitating Christians would either be telling them that you are a hypocrite or that it's ok for everyone. Either way, it's a bad witness and I think, as true Christians, we shouldn't WANT to have an APPEARANCE of evil and would therefore would ABSTAIN from it (1 Thessalonians 5:22). None of us are perfect but we as Christians are expected to live the best that we can in holiness. Listening to the Holy Spirit as our guide in this world allows us to be the best Christians and Christian witness that we can be. If we listen and follow through. I just started watching your videos today, Bindi, and wanted to thank you for your insights. So far I've been right there with you in what you're saying my whole life. Being open to the Lord and the Holy Spirit and what they say and being obedient is a wonderful thing. God bless you

@OmoyeUduehi 2 жыл бұрын

Just discovered this channel and the beauty, radiance and chastity you embody as a couple is beautiful. Thank you for sharing your freedom.

@terristrange 10 ай бұрын

I shacked up a couple times before coming to Christ. It was terrible. I wanted stability but it was preventing me from getting there in the long run. I’m grateful those relationships ended.

@jahblessangelina8707 Жыл бұрын

i can see the love you guys have for eachother, just in the way you interact and look to eachother

@cathyb6358 2 жыл бұрын

I am a senior citizen and have watched 4 of your videos - two of them have been with your husband. You both are amazingly wise, but you have a great teacher - the Bible. Today, as with the last podcast, I thought I am just going to watch for a few minutes, but there was no way to stop watching before the end of the video.

@moniquejoseph6951 2 жыл бұрын

I have no idea how I came across this channel, but I'm happy God lead me here. Truly appreciate every couple who addresses relationships and marriage, taking the time to educate us, the ones waiting, on how it should be and just sharing their experiences and ideas. Thank you

@icomeinpeace3756 2 жыл бұрын

What an articulate man this guy is. He seems great.

@stacy-annmorgan6685 2 жыл бұрын

I am a woman and I'm telling you your husband should lead like a training on manhood. I have listened to lots of biblical teachers on this and I got to give 1st place to your husband you all said it. I'm 25 and no way I am cohabitating with no one. Come from a large family where this is common and friends too. I said never for me someone even wanted me to marry someone to get them into the country and I said no. awful how people want you to make the same mistake they do. No sorry I learn from others and your mistake will not be mine. I am happily blissfully single and I love it. I really can't deal with 'Christians' who cohabitate I'm like what bible are you reading. Smh. Wonderful convo!!

@xTwinVipersx 11 ай бұрын

Yessssssssss!

@naplitkin 2 жыл бұрын

" If we can save one woman from a single dusty, this will have all been worth it. " lmaooo

@AbigailPoirier Жыл бұрын

What is a dusty? I can't find anything online that seems to fit the context.

@theresaglass1831 Жыл бұрын

There’s security and peace in commitment/covenant. 👍

@BeautyWithinKakra 3 жыл бұрын

And on note to personal growth, I can attest to that. I used to be really bothered and felt it was unnecessary for Christian girls to be taking seminars or reading books on marriage. I guess because I felt it made the look “desperate.” But what I learned was on a way, they were preparing themselves. I do think Cam is an exception to the rule( even when it comes to Christian men) cos some are still wildin’ and still expect to marry a godly girl. But the girls are expected to mature and grow ( be holy) in Christ

@lafemmegentille 2 жыл бұрын

This was an excellent conversation to listen to and watch, thank you both! What Cam said about what he had to consider and plan for when preparing for marriage, and realising his new roles, was very interesting - could we please get a full episode about how a man prepares for marriage?

@ailene_e 2 жыл бұрын

I love watching couples where you can tell they genuinely love and respect each other just in their subtle interacting. It’s so sweet! Really enjoying this, I hope y’all do more episodes in the future.

@BeautyWithinKakra 3 жыл бұрын

Wow I really loved this! Especially the part of how society has made marriage as practical means as the end goal instead of committing to one another.

@SisterJudah144 Жыл бұрын

This is SO GOOD! What you are speaking on is so valid but the way you two engage with one another is another beautifully illustrated lesson in itself. Bless you all and your household this ministry is phenomenal ❤

@heatherjohnson1569 2 жыл бұрын

I wish this video had been made 11 years ago. There were so many people I knew at that time that needed this message. I was young and tried to communicate it, but I didn't have the words to communicate what understood at that time. Awesome video! I hope the people that need to hear this or even the people who need to be equipped with this wisdom to help others watch this video. I love your videos. Thank you for making the content that you do.

@victoryisyourportion 3 жыл бұрын

Very insightful piece. As a fellow believer and married woman I thoroughly enjoyed listening. Keep em coming guys💜

@megangreen4994 2 жыл бұрын

So glad to hear you guys talk about this! I’m finding it hard to believe that Christians need this teaching! Purity 101. Keeping ourselves pure before God. We did it (18 years, loving marriage) so can others, with Gods help.

@suz6593 2 жыл бұрын

Such wisdom!! Love hearing your honey’s perspective. You are a blessed woman ♥️

@tazaabha 3 жыл бұрын

Great discussion especially with todays trend of cohabitating. It is disheartening to see so many people throwing away the morally right thing to do and doing what they see is thr easy way out, however as the stats show, it often works against their favor in the long run. God's laws are in place for a reason. So refreshing to hear a young couple that is trying to do what's right according to their understanding. I am a Muslim but we pretty much have the same laws in this regard.

@NaKieshaBingham 2 жыл бұрын

Sooo many gems dropped in this video!! I hope everyone caught them...

@kylag5830 3 жыл бұрын

This is a great conversation...thank you!

@ruthboglarvisky6488 Жыл бұрын

You both are just so smart, it was a delight listening to your insight. God bless!

@mait9932 Жыл бұрын

Great topic! Yes, my mom was sooooooo adamant about not moving in with anyone before marriage.

@lysandracaspez578 8 ай бұрын

I’m so thankful to God for your podcast💕💕💕 I am 20 years old and I just feel so grateful for this knowledge!

@haroldlynlarsh2689 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video. I am truly blessed from the conversation that shared values and principles that we as Christians should be upholding.

@religionlesschristianity Жыл бұрын

spot on with all you guys said. Godly wise advice. thank you! I think as Christians we always have to be aware of those who are looking up to us for how to walk in wisdom and godliness, and if what we do appears to be sin (as you mentioned) we could cause a brother or sister in Christ to stumble. Just because of those outliers where those shacking up didn't give in to sex, it doesn't mean those following in their footsteps will be able to withstand that same temptation. Under no circumstances should we condone living together or sleeping overnight, outside of marriage, not just for ourselves but for those who look to us on how to honor Christ before those in and outside the faith. This is the second video I have watched from you, and I am very much looking forward to listening to more.

@aligolightly7359 2 жыл бұрын

I was totally that person who shacked up after we got engaged so we could both get a nicer apartment together and save money. After a month or 2 of living together, I went on a 2 week trip without him and came back realizing we were messing up. I called off the engagement with him, we stayed living together, and stopped having sex until the wedding night. We got married, and then he became even worse at the communication that showed up as a problem when we lived together. And now we are divorced. It was a mess. But my 2 kids are amazing people and I teach them better through sharing my mistakes and what would be correct instead.

@olatooreraola8409 Жыл бұрын

❤️❤️❤️

@jayhorne283 2 жыл бұрын

Your husband has so much wisdom.

@sebbulon7303 2 жыл бұрын

This channel is so refreshing,🌸

@LadyErnst 2 жыл бұрын

My husband and I are Christian. We dated long distance for ten months and then we made the choice to move in together and we were engaged after two months and were married six months later. I understand my situation is probably the exception but I guess the difference for us on our first date was that we both agreed we were entering our relationship as a courtship . We have been married twice as long as our courtship and we are very happy. However I do agree that not living together before marriage can be greatly beneficial especially if you two cannot refrain from fornication. I was not raised in a Christian household and did not get saved until I was 26 so I very much was still just learning about all of Gods Guidelines. My husband grew up Christian but just needed a reminder of what was expected of him. We both were educated in premarital counseling and were educated and reminded of our sins. We did our best to be abstinent before our marriage and we were successful for the remaining four months of our courtship and it was the best thing we did. We wished we would have been more disciplined but are great full for Gods love and grace. God bless you and your husband for going over this topic in detail and helping to educate fellow Christian’s and non-Christians.

@ayoadesegun4864 Жыл бұрын

Wow! Such a wonderful conversation and podcast topic. I am glad I am hearing all of this before stepping into marriage/engagement

@YouCanCallMeChrys 3 жыл бұрын

I agree with several points made. I think your husband has a great way of presenting his opinion. I hope that couples are able to openly communicate on these topics during a relationship.

@rachelvidal9344 2 жыл бұрын

This is real good! Great discussion guys

@daniellebatiste3076 Жыл бұрын

This has been so informative. Ty u sooo much for sharing with us. Definitely gives me a lot to ponder/think about.

@davidprice4777 8 ай бұрын

Binding Marc and Cam are both an epitome of a Young,Christian Couple who Lives and Give Biblical Advice, not Society's Backward definition of love:Lust without responsibility and commitment!Congratulations to the both of you, God bless!

@tryingtofindmyNICHE 2 жыл бұрын

Yep. 7:17 is currently my situation & it’s a mess. We were together, had a child, & then decided to cohabitate for the sake of our child so he could have the stability of a 2 parent household, but there was so much wrong with our relationship even before having our child that those issues have only been exacerbated by us living together. One of the issues in our relationship is his inability to be intimate (even on a basic level of simple affection: hugging, cuddling, deep conversations, words of affirmation… things like that) so we don’t have sex even though we live together which in some ways makes me feel like it’s the one saving grace to this hot mess. But I often feel like we’re just playing house with no intention on his part to ever get married which then forces me to admit that I would like to be married but because of our issues am unsure if I’d like to be married to him. Marrying him just feels like the solution to this farce of cohabitation, & like my rightful punishment for getting myself into this predicament in the first place by getting pregnant. On another positive note he’s a great father, so there’s at least that, but like I said… our situation is a mess, so I really appreciate you two having this conversation. Hopefully someone somewhere will take this to heart & not end up in a situation like mine.

@rita36116 Жыл бұрын

Same here except we now have 2 children and have now been together for 10 years. smh

@nicolestewart4279 Жыл бұрын

Great topic! Both of your perspectives were extremely valuable 🙏🏼

@Faaade_ 3 жыл бұрын

Great podcast! Thank you for this perspective.

@tiarabrown2999 2 жыл бұрын

this is straight up undeniable facts

@thegenzcompass2526 5 ай бұрын

This was such an insightful discussion. God bless you both and your marriage 🙏🏿

@bevbeautifulhealing 2 жыл бұрын

Really good stuff. Absolutely enjoyed 👍🏾🤗. 1. Spot on about maturity of the male. 2. Spot on about marriage showing us more of our character; like "is that me" 😳. Hahaha. One of the things I always found beautiful as well is that men who run from marriage and want cohabitation/"shack up" also rob themselves from God's favour. Proverbs 18:22. And we know that God's favour is more precious than gold. Will share and may even reference this video for marriage discussion. Thanks for sharing. Cheers 🤗❤️

@barbieojeda454 2 жыл бұрын

I was very fortunate that my husband and got married out of love and not pressure. But all the info in this video is so eye opening. I definitely wouldn’t recommend shaking up for my daughters when they get older. And I realize that my experience was the exception, thank God. It could’ve gone sideways fast. P.S. not justifying my cohabitation, it’s just all 20/20 in hindsight

@Ilayshaa Жыл бұрын

My dad was actually the one that told me about “shackin up” bc that was something my mom did a lot after they got divorced. Smh My father and his wife on the other hand lived separately even during the engagement.

@Dreamseeker731 Жыл бұрын

Great video! Lots of very logical valid points.

@girllovesscience6023 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your channel!

@elizabethjean2709 2 жыл бұрын

This is so good 😊

@nicolamaseko4909 2 жыл бұрын

I've bee watching your videos for a month now and seeing this one, how you interact with your husband just made you so wholistic if that makes sense lol my english is leaving me. Seeing how you interact with your husband especially how you gas him up when he makes a good point is something im definitely copying. Thank God for you Joyce xoxo

@catherinegarmon3027 Жыл бұрын

You two are so cute together! You should do more of these type videos together! I would say that aside from the "practicalities" you mentioned, another thing I have noticed is couples living together for yearrrrs, maybe engaged, maybe not, have kids or not, but their thing is basically "we want to get married eventually, but we want to have a big, expensive wedding, so we are still saving up money for that". I get that you want that, but at a certain point, you just need to get married with the funds you have. Even if it's very simple. And if you somehow did save up say $50,000+ over 5 or 8 years, and then you finally decide to throw it all away on a big wedding, that's a foolish waste of hard earned money. And if you've been together for 12 years and have 3 kids, are you really going to have a huge expensive party wedding at that point? Or when you're in your 60s and don't make much money?? You just need to save money, adjust your dreams, and get married. Also, the cohabitation years, or even non cohabitating toxic relationship years, are a waste of time in your life. You keep getting older, and you are passing up time that you could be meeting someone who is good for you and moving on. Why waste years on someone who abuses you, plays mind games, degrades you publicly, won't publicly own up to being in a relationship, or what have you? I think sometimes when men end up in their 50s but still looking for the "right woman", it's almost like they got developmentally delayed, because they lost time earlier on someone without commitment, even if it was their fault because they were the one who didn't want to commit to someone great a decade ago, or because they didn't pull the plug on someone who was clearly bad for them, and now they are frustrated and floundering.

@RachelAmon Жыл бұрын

God bless you two ❤

@onekayahu8608 2 жыл бұрын

Such wisdom! HalleluYah!

@kpsalm 2 жыл бұрын

This is such a great explanation. There are so many videos on this subject but I can’t seem to find any on how to correct this behavior if you became Christian after the cohabitation.

@daddialthy 2 жыл бұрын

I was actually in a similar situation. I was always a Christian, but I took it more seriously after we began to cohabitate. I just told him I’m moving out because he clearly explained he’s not ready for marriage and I’m not ready to give up my salvation for him. So, I moved back with my parents temporarily. It was the best decision ever. Ended up not even being with the guy. I’m now happily married with my now husband who I never cohabitated with until after we got married. I say all this to say, just Nike it and just do it. Meaning just move out. ❤️

@jr8694 2 жыл бұрын

@@daddialthy I agree with you and am glad that God gave you the grace to make that decision. I'm not and have never been in that situation, but I'm curious about suggestions for people who may have become financially dependent on cohabitation and may not have the option of moving in with family/friends

@tammy07778 2 жыл бұрын

Told my friends that living with their bf's is wrong and they say that what I was saying is foolishness. A guy told me the other day that he won't marry a women he hasn't tested out, it's really unfortunate.

@mrs.h7171 2 жыл бұрын

If a guy has to "test" as woman out to marry, he isn't the guy for you! If a man has no respect or self control, that will carry over into the marriage. He revealed he lacks character for a healthy longterm marriage.

@mlmj1994 2 жыл бұрын

Tested out? Is she a car at the dealership?😂

@TwiFiveGirls101 2 жыл бұрын

Any male or female that thinks like that I automatically assume they are an unbeliever.

@tammy07778 2 жыл бұрын

@@TwiFiveGirls101 that's so true but sometimes we are tempted to think that submitting to this mindset is what has to be done. I for one decided to just be a nun, if I could not find a guy that's willing to wait lol.

@tyheildes6210 Жыл бұрын

@@tammy07778 My current life

@rita36116 2 жыл бұрын

Perfectly explained.

@andrethematrix Жыл бұрын

Fantastic content guys keep up the good work 👍 👏 🙏🏿

@yvettesummers1339 2 жыл бұрын

very wise advice you two

@MoralGovernment Жыл бұрын

The idea that a woman should wait patiently for a proposal from a man was when they were not having sex, not living together and she was not expected to turn down dates from other men. If you are dating, you should be receptive to other offers. When a man can take a woman off the market, she is put on the shelf and he can use her sexually as he wants, and is assured that his position is secured and then when she's older and he loses interest he can walk away. So a woman who is auditioning for role of wife for multiple wives, owns the house together, does everything expected of her and is waiting patiently for a proposal, she has given up her power and he has no incentive to commit and devalues her in his heart.

@iyaayas 2 жыл бұрын

I cohabitated with one boyfriend. Since he was having problems holding back, I left before anything could happen. My now hubby and I cohabitated out of convenience and did not have sex in any form. We were married within 2 months after meeting. One reason is because he was able to hold back but primarily because he was (still is) a man of God.

@jacksoncitytravels6841 2 жыл бұрын

Glad everything worked out. But one thing to keep in mind is that the Bible speaks of avoiding the appearance of sin (1 Thess 5:22). Just because a couple decides to wait until marriage, doesn't mean it's okay to live together. Others won't assume you are waiting. They will or can assume you are sexually active because most unmarried couples who live together have sex. We don't want to cause another brother or sister to stumble. There are lots of professed Christians who are purposely fornicating (not living the sanctified life). It also sends out a bad message to young Christian couples. They would also think they would be able to live together without going all the way. That's a set up for most couples who can and may fall into sin thinking they can handle living together. The Bible says make no provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14). Overall, Christian couples should wait until marriage before living together. Blessings Dear.

@iyaayas 2 жыл бұрын

@@jacksoncitytravels6841 1. Stay away from the appearance of evil. We considered this after marrying. There's doing so, then there's taking this so far you can't even live your life because you're afraid someone might think you're doing something wrong. Driving a car? Better not because we know everyone speeds and speeding is a sin. Besides, what people think of me is their problem, not mine. 2. Avoid causing a brother to stumble. We've done this by keeping our marriage life details a secret. Alcohol is purchased in bulk a county away and disposed of privately. We admit it when asked but don't advertise it for this reason. Again, it's their problem if they dig hard enough to find what we hide for their sake. Live by faith as much as possible. Don't put restrictions on those who are free to do something and don't despise those who aren't. 3. Make no provision for the flesh. Live in faith and Grace. Be free. Avoid sin. Ask for forgiveness when you don't. Sometimes if you're going to effectively minister to people, you have to get in the mud pit to work. If you don't feel the need to wash your hands every so often, then you're not working hard enough.

@jacksoncitytravels6841 2 жыл бұрын

@@iyaayas 1. Driving a car is not the same as fornication. If you are speeding, then you are speeding. No one assumes this by simply driving a car. Those can't compare. Now, a single woman hanging out with a married man all the time without his wife present (not work related) would be giving the appearance of evil. That wouldn't be appropriate either. 2. Yes, we can live, but as Christians, who are we living for. Christ could have came to this earth as a rich person. Instead, He humbled Himself and lived in poverty to win souls. He is our example. The principle behind this is that we cannot just live for ourselves. We live to bring souls to Christ (Paul was a great example of self-denial too). We also live for Christ. That means life will be an inconvenience at times but for Christ's sake. Taking up the cross is not convenient. Hardship and self-denial is needed to get rid of the selfish nature we have. Heaven is our reward, not this life. We should only be free from sin, not free to sin.

@iyaayas 2 жыл бұрын

@@jacksoncitytravels6841 1. We were both single and dating. Neither of us were married nor had ever been married. This is a different standard that one who is married should avoid and we do. How else do you find out if the person you want to marry is worth your life devotion and promise? 2. It's not a sin to live together if you're not sinning together. Quit being a Pharisee or Sadducee who also accused Jesus of sinning when clearly He wasn't. The law was made for man's benefit. Not the other way around.

@NealManig Жыл бұрын

@@jacksoncitytravels6841 I totally agree with you. The Word of God will always be right. God wrote scriptures about fleeing temptation and living holy before the Lord. 2 Timothy 2:19b Let every one that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity. We must have a standard. Thank you!!

@godsmercy8359 2 жыл бұрын

Anyone you have sex with is your husband. So if you have sex 100 people you are married to 100 people. Marriage is not when you go before the pastor, it's when you have sex after you go before the pastor. Sex it no joke, it's a spiritual transaction!!!!

@mrs.h7171 2 жыл бұрын

That is so insightful. Few understand there is a spiritual principle here. There is a covenant that binds those who have sex outside of marriage as "one flesh" 1 Corinthians 6:16. This verse was specifically used for having sex with a prostitute. Yet it also applies to those having sex with anyone you are not married with. This term "one flesh" has the same application used in scripture for a covenanted marriage.

@godsmercy8359 2 жыл бұрын

@@mrs.h7171 remember the lady that Jesus spoke to at the well he ask her where are they husband. She was not married to five husband but she was having sex with them, and like you said that they become one. Sex is dangerous outside of marriage.

@tajayatomlinson5298 11 ай бұрын

Hey! I know exactly where that article is from I read the entire book and it’s so good!! It’s not Christian but it has some pretty solid advice!

@SuperAzk89 11 ай бұрын

This conversation was very enlightening thanks for sharing God bless y'all 🎉🎉🎉

@kirs1091 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video! I want to comment on what your husband said about couples tricking themselves into thinking they can live sinlessly together before marriage. My husband and I were living together while we were dating before we converted to Catholicism. After we converted we realized that our church would not marry as well we live together even if we promise that we were remaining celibate. We had been fornicating prior to converting but stopped even though we were still living together. At that point we were so convicted that I truly believe even if we had lived together until we were married, we would not have fallen back into this in a fornication. However the reason we had to move apart was more because it caused scandal to others due to the fact that it would appear as we were fornicating. We did end up moving apart in order to get married and move back together once we were. However for me specifically I tried everything to rationalize us continuing to live together while not having sex before we got married. like you said there are so many things that are then time together that it becomes hard to get out, such as shared leases and shared furniture. It seems so impractical to your average person to take on a second lease for seemingly no reason when you're just going to get married a few months later, but we had to do it because it's what God wanted.

@XoeNatalia 2 жыл бұрын

Hey was really curious is this podcast was on Spotify. Love this video!!!!

@sherriholcombe5428 Жыл бұрын

Love this content. This message should be preached from the pulpits more often, but it isn't. As Christians we are commanded to obey God's Word, which tells us not only not to fornicate, but warns us that fornicators will not see the kingdom of heaven. It was so good to get your husband's perspective on this subject because it's not always the man who pushes living together, alot of the times these dats,it's the women who push this because they believe that it'll lead to marriage. Marriage is a commitment,shacking up is friends/roommates with benefits...When your husband said living together and sharing bills keeps the man from his God-given role as provider and head of the family. I'd never thought of it that way.. Love seeing you and your husband together. Love how you respect his opinion and value him. That's a great example and very encouraging..💖😊

@leirno 2 жыл бұрын

Christian life is work and grief but the result is eternal life, I pray for all of us who are trying to walk with Jesus.

@Noirmariposa Жыл бұрын

I had a child in my teens while in high school but I never cohabitated with male until I met my husband. We were married for over a year before fully moving in. I "phased" him into my household. We knew we wanted to be married but we didn't want my daughter to feel like her mother was being taken away. So many single mother's feel like cohabitation is ok bc they obviously are no longer a virgin. Yet I wanted to an example of to my daughter what was expected

@im26c4u5 11 ай бұрын

@SarahMGalle She did the right thing, she isn't selfish. They can still bond and not live in the same house, obviously.

@heaven-leeneville3156 Жыл бұрын

"What God assigns, He provides".🤯 Expect divine provision in the God-assigned mission. #Surrender&Obey✝️

@tajayatomlinson5298 11 ай бұрын

Such wisdom!!

@TwiFiveGirls101 2 жыл бұрын

I lived with the pastor and his wife for a few months till the day of my wedding to avoid cohabitation.

@drewdoneit5578 2 жыл бұрын

Great vid !!

@rosieuk8449 Жыл бұрын

Good video. The only thing I would add is if you wish to be an even “better” Christian wife when you are in your husband’s presence: 1. Don’t interrupt your husband while he is speaking. He should finish talking before you interject 2. Your husband should read the scriptures and pray over his family not the wife and 3. Never disagree with him publicly. If you do it should be privately and with love. Blessings

@theparttimehomemaker Жыл бұрын

Agreed, Rosie. It isn't easy to do but necessary to do.

@pattyhansen7563 Жыл бұрын

Even though my parents were unhappy or disapproving of cohabitation, both me & my sister did it. It cause harm to our relationship with our parents. But I partly blame my parents because they did a p*ss poor job of explaining why it was bad - they took us to church & our spiritual training ended there. I moved out of my parents home to live on my own, but then let a boyfriend move in. 3 months later I was pregnant. Luckily for me, I married that man before our daughter turned 1 and we have now been married for 20 years. My parents eventually forgave me, but they didn't speak to me for my entire pregnancy. A lot of hurt feelings all around. This is not to say that just because we got married that life was a bed of roses. this living together first nonsense caused some deep seated & unresolved issues that have reared their head well into our marriage, but we have been dealing with them with a counselor. One thing is that I didn't pair myself with someone that will go to church with me. My sister did the same thing. Moved in, proceeded to have kids & then they decided they didn't want to be together. that was 7 years ago & they are STILL living together, because he owns the house & she can't seem to figure out how to pay to live alone & doesn't want the responsibility of her kids alone. They are miserable. She dates other men, going away to do so & leaves the kids with their dad. The dad still gets dragged to all of our family events & it is soooooo awkward. There was never any talk of marriage for them. See so many younger couples doing this & dragging so many kids into it with no clear goals for the future. It robs you of your future. being married IS the commitment that keeps you being married, even when you find out that each others' quirks are irritating. Legalizing divorce for any old reason was the beginning of the end for this country.

@RachelAmon Жыл бұрын

I thought that I could be friends with someone I found attractive and nothing would happen but something happened. I wouldn’t advise it neither. Good chat.

@candyxoxo19 9 ай бұрын

Wow this is the first time I heard this. I wish I could know more

@ScottYuJan 3 жыл бұрын

eyyy it's the digeridoo beat! 🔥🔥🔥

@alissakrause5693 2 жыл бұрын

Amen!

@lemarge2140 2 жыл бұрын

What the Maluma is going on here?! Hehe. Amazing couple and superb topic.

@glennarichards2933 2 жыл бұрын

Amen

@Hannah-bn6ks Жыл бұрын

I just came across this video. I’m a Christian but my bf is not, we also share a child and live together… I’m in a mess now wondering if should move back with my parents or not… I think we’re happy together and I want to get married but he says not until after he has his life together. So now I’m so confused.

@maddejohnson9032 Жыл бұрын

Amen🙌🙏

@samanthayoung6586 2 жыл бұрын

The scripture you shared reminds me of king Solomon.

@yoginitransit 2 жыл бұрын

Can you share what your dating and courtship process was like prior to taking the steps into engagement and marriage. Also what would you say about the idea that its neccesary to know eac others lifestyle and household habbits prior to marriage. So not necesarily living together but that you should spend intimate but nonsexual time alone together... is that something you would agree or disagree with. If disagree could you give advice on how you would get to know someone on this level otherwise. Like how do you make sure you dont end up marrying someone with bad household habbits, hygiene, etc if you have never observed them in that setting? Or how do you know that the household compatability would be there?

@LindsayAmelia 2 жыл бұрын

Great question

@lindalagarce8996 2 жыл бұрын

Great marriage counseling! I pray many people listen to this as I know it can help. I was married for 11 years to my second exhusband and we were heavily involved in church when he left us (we have two boys) for another woman. Both the boys very angry and hurt even though I made sure they were involved in church and counseled by Godly men to help them deal with the hurt and rejection. After 7 years, we reconciled and due to my financial and physical (blind and ability to sit and walk) we agreed to live together before remarriage. This was 6 years ago, we sleep in separate rooms and do not have sex (ED). He says he can’t afford to put me on his insurance therefor I have disability insurance. It’s a sad situation but I have no alternative at this point.

@jadapoole9238 Жыл бұрын

I don't think you're supposed to remarry according to Mark 10:1-12 KJV, Luke 16:18 KJV 1 Corinthians 7:2; 10-11 KJV and Romans 7: 1-3 KJV

@larasarah59 Жыл бұрын

I came across an interesting couple and am curious to know your thoughts on it. So this couple wanted to keep government out of there relationship but still had wills, trusts medical and notarized paper work making it up to look like a marriage. They even went to the extent of name change. What are your thoughts on this would you consider this a marriage?

@amberwilliams924 3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you are reaching on a topic that isn't too often discussed.. One thing I would add to this because I know this is from you guys standing point as Christian's, but some people cohabitate and already know they're getting married. I dont think it's a problem for people who are getting married really soon and decided to move in together because that's what they planned to do anyway. In regards to having sex while being in the household, again I think if you are engaged and close to marriage, at this point there's no breaker so maybe you'll take that step. For people who are in hopes to getting married this is a dumb idea. I definitely think cohabitating is a far stretch and you're only setting yourself up for failure because this person promised you nothing and you're doing all of these things a married couple does for free. This in turn will probably make your significant other not feel the need to even consider marriage because they have all the benefits...

@victoryisyourportion 3 жыл бұрын

The issue with cohabiting even if youre engaged you are still in (God's eyes) single and not yet joined as man and wife. Having sex before the point of marriage is still sinning and an offence to God. BEING ENGAGED IS *NOT* THE SAME AS BEING MARRIED.

@monique_pryce 2 жыл бұрын

@@victoryisyourportion Precisely. The Bible is crystal clear on that.

@Gabrielle937 Жыл бұрын

Who also notices masculine and dominant energy in her and feminine in him. Very curious.

@preciliabuya5456 2 жыл бұрын

What if you already have kids?

@lavenderperidot1359 2 жыл бұрын

Music was way loud and voices were low.

@vinreverie Жыл бұрын

My boyfriend and I live together out of necessity. We don’t have sex or anything in that manner. We’re planning to get married next may and are in the process of saving up. We are super strict on no sex or anything before marriage and the thought of even doing that before marriage makes me nervous! We’ve been living together for 6 months now. There’s no issue with temptation. We simply put this off the table. If it were up to me I would absolutely be living with my parents until we got married. Unfortunately that’s not an option for me, and living alone is too expensive. I’m a firm believer of women staying at home until they’re married. It’s so much safer and better for them mentally (if their family is supportive and loving). You have to gauge your life. We got a blessing from our priest who said it is very common for young couples in Russia to live together but not be intimate. It is the ultimate test of faith and this is where we try to live like ascetics, where we try to be in prayer as much as we can.