"Sacrifice is not a virtue." Boom!

Just after five minutes and you have a man bawling. It's been a hard 4years.

Sometimes the overwhelmingly-joyous feeling of falling in love is not true love. The term FALLING is what makes me think that the butterflies and unicorns are just an illusion (victim of that infatuation myself). True love develops with time, trust, care. I know is a cliche, but true love and relationships are like plants. They need nourishment, from both the sun and the moon, and soil is the most important part. A solid foundation. If both parties come to fill the pot chock filled with nutrients the plant will grow stronger from the beginning. To be honest with you, being in a committed relationship with your community, friends, the job that is your passion, hobbies, yourself, your children, your pets, your house, your lover, your family and extended family and the world at large, it takes an enormous amount of time and energy (if you are truly committed and giving a 100% in everything you do). When you are engaged in your life that way, I don't see where there is even time to seek for anything outside your relationship...unless...you are extremely unsatisfied in some area of your life and make your lover responsible for filling that void....

I am truly amazed at how wonderful it is to hear how open and honest Teal is about these issues, and how spiritually generous she is to clear up these concerns, to those struggling with this in regards to their relationships...She has literally hit the nail on the head, in regards to your childhood, and if you had these issues there, most likely you will be 'blind' to this in your relationships....I didn't realize that infidelity was not just pertaining to sexual infidelity, but anything that is detrimental to the emotional well being of the loyalty and support of the relationship...I have always been caring and loyal in all of my relationships, and never understood why I feel such a lack of it in return, and this blindness goes right back to childhood as Teal mentions, and as I look back at that, I can see that, that is where the blindness has its roots...What a gift Teal is....she is truly an amazing and wonderful person, to give such insights is such a blessing to be received....

I wish I had known about this a long time ago. My parents were really messed up about these issues, and I have been endlessly confused. Thank you for addressing these topics. Much needed. Blessings to you.

In Buddhism it is called sexual misconduct and one of the behaviors that cause suffering.

Brilliant. (IMHO). Key points: 1... Relationship is a 3rd party... not just the sum of the people in it. It has a life of it's own. 2... Communication, in a healthy relationship, would be... patient, honest and open hearted and above all else, open minded and fair even in dispute or conflict. That is, to be open to learning something new even if it means that you are suddenly wrong! Everyone is wrong sometimes... because we can all potentially learn something that changes the way we see everything and that's what arguments are for! It's okay to admit it when it happens, in fact to be blocked from sharing that will soon deny all of the gifts that the relationship would otherwise bring... Often, it is only later, upon reflection that we can see it.. and not everyone finds it so easy to acknowledge it. (hence patience). Ideally, for evolution to take place, (growth, learning, healing etc.) new information should always be welcomed.... and our beliefs should always be changed in light of new information. (Whether that's a change in terms of reinforcement or replacement... it's still a change.) . 3... No one person can provide all of the needs you have. Human needs are complex and require communities to provide them. On a simple level, think of the way a travel agent can book flights and make hotel reservations, a pharmacy can issue prescribed medication and a garden centre supplies gardening materials and plants... They each do what they do but can't do the job of the others. A partner can't replace these services let alone supply someone with all the interactions they need to enjoy a fulfilling life. Nor can you expect a partner to have no need for things that you cannot provide. 4.... Infidelity can be about avoidance of a need for internal change as much as unmet external need. As in, there may be a need for change in you that has become difficult to face, perhaps a pattern of behaviour or fear of attachment caused by traumatic experience and it may be buried deep enough that it isn't comfortable digging it out... therefore when it arises it has become a defence to turn away from it, perhaps initially creating an image of an ideal to compare everything to. This fantasy can be used for self destruction in the name of being on your path as you just feel there's something clearly missing and that if it was there you'd be blissfully happy... Having not looked at potential change in the inner landscape... you notice that compared to your image, there's a few things that could be better and, perhaps secretly, you start to put changes into action, but nothing in truth could match up to the fantasy, which by it's very nature is always going to be "better than this".. You can of course feed it with bits of old fantasies to give it depth and a sense of history and project it onto real people around you to give it credibility as a viable option rather than an illusion but in one way or another... it leads to emotional and physical withdrawal. I have never heard from anyone who found what they were looking for in taking that path... ever! That could be simply because the inner change is put on hold until such time as you have found stability and support enough to facilitate it...which, as soon as you find it, becomes a source of potential fear and you turn away and the whole process repeats... You should be able to tell if a relationship (which, as was said, has a life of it's own, and is not dictated by either or even both/all of the connected parties.) is dead by how easily you can distance yourself from it. You are a mere branch on the relationship tree and it is, as we know, much easier to separate a branch from a tree if the tree is dead and the connection is only in appearance and accordance with it's past... There's no nutrients being exchanged, so no living connection so any pressure will snap it... However, if it's healthy and alive, there's no easy way to snap it away, you'll have to violently push and pull and hack away and twist... and it isn't much fun for anyone... If this is the case, you may be subconsciously acting against your own best interests... the relationship you are in can only evolve to meet your evolving needs, (or die trying,) if all parties allow themselves to evolve with it... cutting off while there's still a living connection denies the gifts of the relationship and causes harm to all the branches. People are afraid of being trapped and missing out on better things, like "soul mates and such" but are not willing to become better things and so trap themselves...! Nobody can hold you against your will (in all but a few extreme situations.) so the fear of being held captive is unfounded as tearing yourself away will prove... but once proved... your freedom should not be doubted again. It was always there even without you proving it. What's most difficult to understand is that people will be ready to leave a healthy relationship at the drop of a hat, even while it's supporting them in their growth but would be seemingly unable to leave an unhealthy relationship even if it denies them freedom and opportunities for personal evolution... Go figure!.

Damn!! what's up with the negative comments? If that's what you feel about her..why watch her videos? She gives advice. Take it or leave it but don't slam her cause she didn't reply to you personally .

Learn to be alone. To be happy alone. To be self sufficent alone first before getting into a relationship. No one can fill ur holes and get rid of ur traumas and pain for you. HEAL BELOVEDS make the world a better place starting with you.

You have to be on guard for individuals who have so many boundaries that they might as well lock themselves in an environmentally controlled room because EVERYTHING will offend them..

Teal this video was amazing!! Exactly what I think!! I'm gonna share this. On point and communication is the key 100%

When you find your true-love, Soul Mate, then chances are infidelity will never expose its ghastly face to those two-fortunate individuals; however, and I think it goes without saying, but there is absolutely nothing simplistic about finding true-love. In fact, it's so complicated that the notion that some people go their entire lifetimes without experiencing the overwhelmingly-joyous feeling of falling in love seems 100% factual. It is for this very reason that you can't help but question if whether-or-not monogamy is a true-aspect of Human-nature, due to frequent-unfaithfulness among lovers. Regardless of the aforementioned, every member of the Human-race should strive to be as loving as can be, and bring your partner that feeling of paradise on Earth by any means necessary!

Hi Teal! I just wanted to thank you for the videos you make and the light you shine on my situations. 💞

This is wonderful! Thank you for touching on polyamory and intentional communities. I had to laugh to myself when you said this because I recently decided I am emotionally poly and desire to live in an intentional community vs having more than one sexual partner. It would be nice to be able to have a boyfriend and girlfriend and also for my lover to have girlfriends since I feel love from sharing ... but I think emotional poly is a great place to restart my poly journey again. Thank you so much Teal for sharing your wisdom and authenticity once again. This was a brave video I'm so glad you did it.

You've given me a lot to think about today Teal, as always. Thank You. xx

Thank you for your generosity my dear Teal! Sharing what works for you can be a "heaven" too for a lot of people

Exellent video. Communication is so sooooo vital in this matter. thanks for sharing!

I just have to say, you rock! Your insight to reality and what we were trained to accept as normal, hits the issue straightforwardly on the 3rd eye! Thank u

I'm happy you did this video. I especially like the point of the other person being authentic with their compatibility test and fidelity. Being a dating coach, I know some partners choose whatever answer their partner will want. Polyamorous people are the most honest and authentic people I've met.

After an year of this video.. I happened to watch... I feel more clarity about the relationships.. I feel immense happy about the clarity I've got from your video.. my heart felt thanks for sharing invaluable content... Thanks much Teal

Made me realize the reason i feel trust isn't fluid and solid in my life is because i went through various versions of infidelity (boundaries line i lost track of because of that) but my partner is reflecting back to me exactly who i was before all of the unwanted changes

The first infidelity is being married to work ..when the priority of life is one's perceived survival dependent on careers and fear based it's not relationship, that's for sure.

thank u so much again perfect timing for the video. so much synchronicity :)

Perfect timing as always.

"The prerequisite for a good marriage is the license to be unfaithful." - CG Jung

I see we think alike. I agree with how you define fidelity, and your enlightened, yet logical approach to the subject. We would be so much healthier if we stopped making other people responsible for our needs.

I love the idea of the compatibility questions, I have had the resentment rise up due to our views on intimacy, fidelity and emotional connection. I know better and I will do better going forward. I communicated my fidelity needs and he agreed , later on every need was violated, so my learning is to set my boundaries and stick with them.

I always say that relationships are a lot like businesses. For a new business to succeed, It requires a well thought out business plan. All the things covered here are the business plan for the relationship. When the business plan is created, it will much better determine if it will be a success or failure. This is the time one needs to determine this. ( before starting, and investing in the business/relationship, NOT AFTER )

Can't wait for the video on jealousy!!

Impressive - thought provoking - thank you.

Hello Teal. Thanks so much for your videos and sharing all your insight with us. I appreciate it so much. A video about "compatibility" would be great!!! I can't wait till next week to see your new vid. Have a great week. :-*

Wow, this is really helpful...as always. I need to read her book.

I am so thankful for this video it has opened up a beautiful door for me. I always feel guilty because I am only interested in deep connections but whenever I was in a relationship, forming that deep connection with others felt like cheating so I would always close myself off and isolate for the sake of the relationship. And then I would end up being too demanding of my partner and the relationship would fall apart. It never even occurred to me that there was a gray area in between fidelity and infidelity where me and my partner could make up the rules!

I agree, dear Teal. People are really wrong when think that infedility is only sexual. When is beyond it, there's something profound there. However, we may be with someone who isn't our soulmate...in this case, another person appears...and we have a choice to make.

you da best Teal! I actually do try to do this compatability thing at the start...but maybe im a little warped about it. this helped clarify energetically how to actually approach this next time around.

keep it simple, stay single! works beautifully.

The allegiance was broken in childhood...aaaahhhh...what a relief to feel this reality, the allegiance between my parents was broken, and caused broken allegiances within the family system, and here I am wracking my brain with a broken heart, feeling those broken allegiances, realizing now, these broken allegiances within the family 'system' have been causing the deep rooted pain all along...

I believe everything comes when it's time, if you try to set boundaries with someone nothing will happen, or worse, you show your lack of trust in the other person. If someone tried to do it with me, I would leave him to his doubts. Knowing each other is not about talking is sharing, it takes time is not a contract

Thank you :) totally attracted this one today :)

What a powerful video

This was very helpful to me 🙏

I always talk to others about the issue I have in my relationship. Sometimes I need more than his and my perspective. He hates it when I do that and now he always "jokingly" says "Who knows what they will say about me" because I talk to others about him when I am stressed and don't know how to deal with a situation or when I am having trouble expressing my opinion on any matter. He will tell me I am wrong then I feel like I'm crazy for thinking the way I do. Others will tell me I am right. I can then take what both parties said about why I am wrong and why I am right and then think about it on my own and then think about how to proceed. Now, since he has told me about how my talking to others about our problems I don't do it as often but I don't always feel like I can talk to him so I feel like I end up going stir crazy sometimes if I cant talk to him and he doesn't want me to talk to anyone else....Actually, I just feel like I'm going crazy in general sometimes...

This is amazing

Who can love just one person or only part of a person? Like ol' Stephen Stills said, "if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with".

look at teal, reading my mind again.

Thank you for saving my day

you are so amazing!

I have a relationship & I'm always trying to emotionally bond with other women. I found out long ago that I can't talk about other women to my gf. She gets pissed. Lately, she doesn't even want me going anywhere unless she's going with me.

🌙Hi teal swan I was wondering if you can do a video about what we expect to come in the near future?✨ thank you so much for your other videos they help a lot😘

In regards to my last comment I dated a lot of men after my divorce and all them were always pressuring me to have threesomes!!! I wish more men would have to take care of their children and Society more so that they would listen to their hearts more before destroying their families!!! The very caring men and women are the Souls that hold society together!!!!!

Teal can you do a video on not getting along with in laws ...how important is it in a marriage?

This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear, EXACTLY, I grew up in a society that puts sacrifice and compromise as one and the same & I fought a lot internally to understand the difference in terms of boundaries of fidelity, this in fact was root cause of relationship issues in general for me because I was fighting over right and wrong & was confused about sacrifice and compromise like I felt guilty of compromising but also that one must sacrifice to compromise, well little did I know. Thank Youuuh❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏🙏

Your ideas are excellent for two mature people who are very honest and open with each other!!! But I literally got slapped on the face after putting in close to 25 years in relationship when my ex husband told me that men could be faithful!!! Thanks to him...I love myself over any man now and my relationship with Our Creator is number one!!!

thanks

You are wise.

Light bulb moment! I get it now. I love being emotionally intimate with many people, but my last partner considered emotional infidelity a red flag.

We wanna enlightment!!

Can you do a vid on jealousy? Thanks Teal

Smart video. Now I know more about fidelity and infidelity. And because I know more about fidelity and infidelity perhaps my partner is less likely to be unfaithful and more likely to be faithful to me and vice versa.

I just love you.

100% agree you should have boundaries you knew what the relationship was it wasn't my nails👍

Thx

So what do people think about boundaries vs freedom in relationships? It seems that boundaries could be used as a form of control? I feel uneasy about putting 'rules' on relationships, for example, in regards to how someone is allowed to flirt, but maybe it is needed? And surely our idea of boundaries are changing all the time too. Mmm food for thought. Interested in what other people think.

Anybody has a great comparability questionnaire?

I agree 100

Lmfaooo "don't even go there" 😂

Do we learn infidelity through the neglect we experienced from our parents? My parents were/are so quick to trust and now I see how that influenced me in both positive and negative ways where I project/give away a lot of power onto others,,, Thanks so much dear Teal

Thankyou for the video 4 weeks ago You know in persian heaven wrote like 8 بهشت mean به هشت means going to 8 means people have been fight for years cause they couldn't turn 8 around and accept the shadows that we can choose to paint or destroy it construction or distruction I just had this idea I haven't told anybody 🙏🏻❤️❤️ thankyou master

*discontinuation of loyalty or support*

what about when misunderstanding or misinterpreting the communication by public or common perspective or viewpoint unravels the communication

I am not saying that you have to go out and have sex with anyone you found first (only if you want to), however, why people have to think that just because you met or are in love with someone that your body/life belongs to him/her? BTW, I am looking for a partner to share this journey with me or an owner? This is one of the reasons I never liked marriages or any kind of obsession rules.

what if those boundaries are dictated by ego & fear? how to know if so? it is easy to bury your relationship in boundaries made by fear, but wouldn't it close us off from learning/developing/fear-reduction-love-increase? would be cool to know Teal's opinion on this or somebody from the community might have an idea? thanks!

These elements are all part of a relationship but if you have to set up a contract rather than let self and free will and love speak .. then it's not right. One should know what to do and not to do based on trust and respect without saying a single word... Those if respected meet mutual needs, loyalty etc.. As for does this last over a very long term then yeah it's possible that over time the reasons that brought two together may change. Yeah I said two... Also we live in a society and some are set up towards certain values than others.

It seems to me that humans have mixed up what need actually is. Like Michael Brown said, need is something that is needed for our existence and that is food, water, air and maybe place to rest. Other "needs" are desires to feel better, the points of interest. So need's what is necessary and everything that is at top of that is desire. And guess what, desires are cause of suffering. Fidelity is a norm of society, norm of possessiveness, attachment and addiction. Ask animal what Fidelity is. Fidelity is a fake form of security, for fearful possessive self. I really respect you, but I don't always agree with you.

No workshop in the Philippines? :(

You should give The Underachievers - Gold Soul Theory A listen

Hello Ms. Swan, can you please explain why my current boyfriend of almost 2 years are still haunted by all my exes. Whenever, My ex's name came up in a conversation (which is very rarely), my boyfriend would freak out and calling me names. My boyfriend is truly a nice and caring person. Is he insecure or is he still being haunted by my pasts? Everybody makes mistakes, we chose wrong person by making wrong choices. I don't get why he is so offended when ever a picture comes up ( I deleted all my exes pictures on social media) so that it won't hurt him so much. I truly believe my current boyfriend is my SOULMATE. We have no other major problems but about the exes of mine. The longest he hasn't spoken to me is for 3 days. I don't know how to avoid this happening again. What can he do on his end to stop feeling this way. He even admits that it is a problem that he has to fix. PLEASE HELP save our relationship.

TEAL any thoughts about september the 23rd??

My wife practice total Fidelity with our girlfriend. Hahahahhah

What I hear her say and what I have always said, check yourself first what are you doing or not doing that either created infidelity sexually or emotionally. When someone cheated on me I took responsibility for me not meeting a nerd and didn't become a victim which led me to be a better partner and friend. If a someone cheats start looking where the breakdown was and learn so you have heathier relationship. duh!

Please come back to SF :)

Couple Bubble, interesting

6:43, 6:53, 13:45, 15:13, 15:41

Wheres the video on repair then

11:11

you should do wicca spell cast ways

The Definition of fidelity is: Being True To Someone -no matter how "loose" one might be on the definition of infidelity. :) I'll say: do we want Trust to BE A REALITY or can we live without Trust on this earth? From my point of view it's ALL a matter of Growing Up. I mean. If you want to have faith in others, then you must make sue to be Trustworthy yourself. It's THAT easy !! If you look at this world, then you'll find that almost ALL of it's deceptions is either for Money or for Sex, and within "those two" we can gather almost ALL lies and other cruelty in this world too. So I just ask... What is Love? I mean...what IS Love ?? I'm sorry if I'm just a petite master of understanding, but when I see all those paths of deceptions in this world, I think: No, thank you. I wont assign to any hierarchy cos they contradict what Love IS. "Tell it to my Heart. Is Life really Love or just a game?"

Wouldn't mind a relationship with teal swan........

vroooooom

17:48

Can a relationship survive an affair?

CALLING ALL TEAL SWAN FANS! A very gifted director by the name of Paola Marino is currently making an amazing documentary about Teal! Please visit www.tealfilm.com to see the trailer and consider donating to help fund this film. She has raised quite a bit but needs much more if this film is to find completion.

your litterly a Buddha reincarnation/wood elf/enchantress

💜♾🙏🏼🕉

In all studies done in developed countries it was found that about 30% of children are being raised by their non-genetic father. In other words female sleep around while they're married and let their husband think that the children are there's while they're not.

Great video! btw Teal, please stop torturing your eyebrows, they are perfect already :P

My ex wife cheated on me when I was Deployed after 20 Yrs of marriage, when confronted she said she did not have an affair, just a emotional affair. That when I got up and left her forever.

Reading the comments section, I see a lot of Teal antagonists popping in for a shot at her. Teal recently put out a video specifically about this group of people. kzfaq.info/get/bejne/kM6nltyYvrXcf5c.html Considering that people are threatening her life and that of her children, I thought her response was amazingly gracious. I would totally lose my shit if anyone threatened my kids. Mostly, I just wish people would listen to the content of the video, and discuss *that*. EIther like it or dislike it, or ignore it and move on. Personally, I have quite enjoyed her take on some very sensitive issues. Some of them very close to home in my own life. I have also seen some teachers that I disagreed with. Thats what the thumbs down and the unsubscribe buttons are for. There is a really cool feature in Tumblr, where, if you click to make a comment, the text box prompts you to 'Say something nice.' To be honest, that has snagged me a couple of times I was about to show myself from my worst side. KZfaq could use this feature. 'Say something nice.'

hmm ones all I can handle

London, Switzerland, New York? Does Switzerland have a city called Switzerland? :D