Hi

Wassup

Hi

yippee

Hello

You must be saying that you are a male horse, we all know only women can ride horses

@@teathesilkwing7616 😭 I will worship you for this comment forever

As the daughter of a long line of farmers and gardeners, gardening done right is definitely getting your hands and fingernails and clothes dirty as fuck and sometimes cut and loving it.

Best coment yet💀

As a female equestrian I can completely agree, skinning a large part of your back is oh so very ladylike.

dont forget the *_f e e t_*

@@-cat_in_space- oh, of course, can't forget the mangled toes 😍

_h a i r l o s s ? ? ?_

what people get from eating little and stress@@genesisofthebetween

@@genesisofthebetweentypically from stress and how slicked back your hair has to be

“The Thinker” but with more bathroom sound effects. 10/10

personally I prefer to squat and think so my ladylike butt does not touch the same porcelain throne other commoners have sat on

@@partlyart you have reached ladylike supremacy

@@equally.marketable Therefore, you are “The Thinker” and “The Entertainer”

To posh people you say sit and think. To friends you say shit and stink.

Facts

𝓨𝓾𝓹

I got in trouble for laughing too loud.

Dang, guess I’m lucky then. Got muddy all the time as a kid, never got in any more trouble for it than my brother. Although, my parents also never got upset when my brother wanted to join us girls playing and got his nails painted, so maybe they were just good at avoiding gendering children’s play.

@@peteryeeterson5766 your parents sound cool as hell

@@peteryeeterson5766 It should honestly be the norm. Let kids be kids, you're just having fun.

Wow, she just described me and mom's relationship, especially my grandma, my mom's mom.

it's like, out of a jane austen novel

​@@elisecode2212 yeah and even then, Jane Austen was making fun of proper ettiquette 😂😂😂 it's like these people desperately wanna go back in time

They're all like "have hobbies like skiing or polo." Bitch what if I live in Detroit?

@@davidtaylor142 idk, become human then?

@@weirdcatkid I hate you for reminding me of that God awful overhyped game

I am Dutch and I mainly curse when I have to, but when I do, I do it well. A while ago I made caramel (or tried) and a spatula decided to roam free and I got the caramel on my fingers. I swear, I hadn't screamed like that in a long time. Shortly described, I howled; "Goddamned-typhoid-tubercolosis-shitty-bollocks-cunt-mess!" and then just the F-word in a row for the following half-hour. I sucked on my hand, which caused me to burn my lips as well, so I just jumped up and down and cried as the caramel was oozing across the stove and (where it splattered across the) storageboxes with food, the wall, the floor, the refrigerator, the cabinets and the counter. The burned smell, the hardened caramel, the sticky mess, the wet blisters oozing woundmoisture... I can assure you, it was the most feminine I've ever felt.

​@@Widdekuu91that sounds tedious to clean up :/

@@dv16587 It was, but I felt very feminine while I cleaned it.... ..okay I can't keep this story up, yes it was shit xD Especially when it half-hardened and scrubbing it with a sponge just made the caramel get plastic-hairy (from the sponge) and I had to soak it with wet cloths everywhere.

​@@Widdekuu91good God is that awful, but so real.

So real, baking makes me so ladylike With the mild burn scars on my fingers cause I grabbed a pan without an oven mitt. Or when I got brownie batter on my face and looked like I had been bleeding

Smoking weed is so lady like 🥰

​@@Kiki-ee1wd um- yeahhh... 😅

tbf artists are the most sleep deprived people ever (speaking from experience). Also not the most cleanest hobby then again gardening made the list.

Of course not, women can’t be creative. They might think they can have opinions and read…

Ladylike Bobby

​@@imhappy7632 being an artist also makes you have severe neck and back pain.. horrible posture isnt the most ladylike. then again, im not a girl

It's because painting is for boys. There are no great female painters after all, right? A woman wouldn't dain soil her fingers or clothing *eyerolling so hard I can see my brain*

I'd imagine the same with baking, but there it is in the list

So embroidery is an elegant hobby but sewing isn't.

Needlepoint is ladylike. Practical sewing is the work of seamstresses, who as we know are all likely to have to resort to compromising their virtue in order to make a living anyway, and will inevitably die of consumption.

And I'm confused as to how gardening can be ladylike 😭 like you're on your knees digging in the dirt

@@lizardasslick lol funny. Worked in food and now I sew for a living. And I've learned that most rich fux can't do these things at all lolz.

*Female Larper bowing before you in squire's garb*: “My queen! Thou are exquisitely dressed for the occasion of rolling the dice! Dare I say it: like a TRUE lady!”

Indeed !!!!!!!

Agreed. I’m a martial artist but watching some ballet documentaries was almost scary. Ballet dancers are so metal

gerard way

Ugh but you get such AN AMAZING BODY!!!

@@MeowMeow_95_ I don’t know if you’re a dancer or not but that’s. No. Ballet dancers are often stick thin mainly because of the beauty standards of the industry; eating disorders were basically expected. The so called amazing body was from skipping meals and trying to live off of water and ice.

Omg bridgerton irl 👁️🫦👁️

I think the biggest question is: why do you have cow semen caked under your nails? Like just pick it out with your teeth like everybody else...

By gardening, I think they mean supervising the help to make sure they don't steal your tools. Lol

@@salmonella7993 oh

@@salmonella7993 girl.

This but they also shame other women or poorer people while doing that

GASP It's the dreaded Jarvis Johnson - wanted in all the 50 states *_faints to the ground dramatically_*

What is the infamous JJ doing here?!?!

It shows a major flaw in our society how it took Me this long to find the Jarvis Johnson comment.

RIP family

Sorry ma'am🖖✋👇🖖🖖🐖🐖🐖🐗

As someone who has gardened once in his life, and never want to do it again... It is also a very ladylike activity to be covered in mud and sweat, wearing disposable clothes.

And mucking the stalls. Very ladylike

And ruining a white shirt because it got covered in horse saliva because your horse decided to rub its head on your shirt is very lady like

@@ellamurray4924 oh but if you are a RICH lady then dahling you pay the help to do such work. Heavens could you imagine?!

as an equestrian, i entirely agree. i’ve especially gotten many compliments of how ladylike i look while trudging through knee high mud and manure to fetch my horse from his field, knowing full well he’s been rolling in his own filth 🥰

Yes, agreed, many don't "need" to act this way. But the thing that irked me the most about this video is the covert way in which Chad Chad just doesn't acknowledge that these are videos for WOMEN, who CHOOSE to be more ladylike, not for kids. Instead she's twisted the whole thing and its like this is meant to shame women who like the idea of etiquette or embrace traditional feminine rules of social presence. The whole time, she just made crappy, unfunny jokes instead of thinking critically beyond Cristian upbringing and patriarchy.🙄😒 How can women say they "support and uplift other women" when they have this gross rhetoric that anything "hyper-femenine" or "traditional" is inherently bad? Not to mention there's PLENTY of trans women who embrace hyper-femenine mannerisms as part of gender affirmation. So too can cis women choose to feel gender affirmation by choosing to behave like this.

@@ophilianecr thank you, couldnt have said it better myself. the whole part of uplifting women INCLUDES uplifting those who desire a different life than you

​@@ophilianecr How does it feel to embrace misogynistic social norms? Because that's what these are, oooooops.

​@@ophilianecrSay you missed the point of the video without saying you missed the point

@@Pugkin5405 sorry, girl. Some of us can think critically when we consume media and we don't need creators yelling us how to think and feel🤨. Tell me you feel personally insulted because i had a criticism, without telling me....🙃

I had the same thought.

But really, the type of classist people who would be talking about etiquette and looking elegant would be rich people who don't really do the hard work. Horse-riding? You bet your a$$ they only show up to ride the horse and then leave the manure shoveling, feeding and cleaning the horse, etc. to the stable lad. Gardening? That probably means frolicking in the garden smelling the floors and not much else... The hired gardener does the work.

They probably think gardening is watering plants elegantly from tiny cute watering cans and moving an already potted plant into a beautiful outside container without getting any dirt on them and finishing it off by sitting near the plants elegantly or stuff. Other stuff is actually done by the gardener, the way elegant (aristocratic) ladies acrually do back then

I have a feeling their gardening is much more, choosing where in the garden the rose bushes and lillies are going to be planted, and handing a detailed plan over to their gardener. Just like with the equastrianism, buy a horse and house it at the stable, come ride it and brush it's mane sometimes while the stable hands are the ones carrying bails of hay and shoveling poop out of pens.

Pretty sure it‘s from the time where rich ppl brought home exotic ferns in edwardian cases from their ‚explorations‘. And yes, women were only allowed to keep ferns as any other plants were deemed too „phallic“ for them…

Bonus points if they are divorced and ESPECIALLY if there's a history of abuse (be it in the family or communities everyone is familiar with) and wonder why their own kids aren't interested in getting married.

ME TOOOO

Frrr 💀💀

My father would literally say to me (rather, scream to me, with full pure hatred in his voice), when I was 4 or 5 years old: "You're a DISGRACE of a WOMAN!!! Nobody will EVER love you!!!! You will be a divorcee!!! No MAN will EVER want YOU!!!". So... I did listen to him in the end. I didn't marry a cis man and we've been happily together for 20 years and counting.

I got told no man would ever want me because I was good at debating - by my own father no less.

Yup . Besides some women retain their hymen even after their first intercourse . So the presence of the hymen is a very bad criteria to decide if that person is a virgin or not , and being a virgin shouldn't even matter.

hey, me too.

Thank you, I will use these. I’m sure everyone will appreciate them and their ladyness.

last one seems toooo interesting

This is true I can confirm

Finally, true etiquette.

Fun fact : if your husband already has heart problems, you can use a beautiful purple flower called digital instead of cyanide

Plus, "brb bathroom" gives them an idea how long you'll be gone and where to find you if they need you.

Meanwhile I just yell "Gotta shit!" no matter where and with who cause I dont give a shit. Haha unintentional pun.

Plus I’ll also know the last place you were or are supposed to be incase you go missing or an emergency happens. Anything can happen in todays world that’s why I always tell people where I’m going even if it’s for 2 minutes.

I thought the same thing!

I’m way to shy to even speak up so whenever I need to leave a room I just run out of there at top speed without telling anyone, everyone understands not to ask me anything when I get back because I’ll run away again

How do you afford horse riding? Isn't it a wealthy people thing? I had a friend who did große riding and they spend like 100 bucks a month on this hobby💀

@van_ol1056 It's true that horse riding is really expensive, especially the more advanced you are, but that's true for basically any hobby, especially sports. Like, off the top of my head, my friend does competitive cheer, and she'll have to spend over 200 dollars on the uniform alone. It's not just for rich people, and as you advance, anything will get really expensive. Just because it can be expensive doesn't mean it's glamorous. Even just stepping into a barn will get you dirty. Horses are animals and are living beings who live outside, so of course, it's dirty. It's not for everyone, and if you want to do horse riding, you have to love everything about it, mucking out stalls and all. I will admit that it is one of the more expensive hobbies, but practically anything that involves another living animal is quite expensive (lessons, tack, gear, cleaning tools, boarding, vet bills, etc.) I would say it's worth it, though. 😂

@@Haikavehismycomfortship that makes sense, you have to actually care for the animals and even a cat can get pretty pricey once you go to the vet. I think you can call sth a rich people hobby without it being a negative thing. Bc those hobbies are more accessible to people with financial stability or kids who are lucky to be born into such families. Having a normal middle class income will make you less likely to actually go to advanced levels, it's not sth most people can do. Doesn't mean that people who do those don't work hard on their hobbies or anything. At least where I live it's a thing for privileged people to deny their privilege or normalise it which is odd bc usually poor people are frowned upon so I kinda don't get that 😅

Remember, you're dressing up for you, not other people.❤

However, the simpler you dress, the less worried about your appearance you'll be.

First world problems

​@@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736Indeed, but problems nevertheless.

Lol. Little does she know that not all guys like lady-like

​@@Abra_Dabra most guys like whores and sluts though, they loooove strippers XD Grandma didn't know.

@@Abra_Dabra YEAH EXACTLY my boyfriend could literally give less of a shit he also likes even tho i’m a trans dude so that tells a lot too

@@Ashton8844 Oh, yes, explains a lot. My brother is trans too and no family member knows cause we were sadly born into a transphobic family and it bothers me that she calls my brother ber "daughter". Me personally, I'm just a boy who likes crossdressing🥲👍

@@Abra_Dabra i would literally never tell my family im trans it is so terrifying, im sorry ur family is like that too, rlly sucks that people are more willing to be hateful than to accept others

With an outfit and skills like that I'd say she's probably around a level 6 lady

​@@ezraclark7904idk she seems like a level 7.5 lady to me

@@Medusa_The-Bard I agree, it looks like at least 65 one-handed and 80 in archery, she must be at least level 7 and that’s if she didn’t level light armor

@@dungeaterfancam yes agreed

glass bones and paper skin be so ladylike rn

you joke but people did that with footbinding and such

I'm ladylike, I didn't know that..

A true lady when she feels a cool breeze

My thumb shattered liking this comment

because she did not specify if she was going to the bathroom ,thus causing concern😢

Why did i read it as edging us

Imagine?

All hail Chad Chad!

True chad behavior

Very true

​@@afellowpotato sis xz

Oh yes indeed.

I can't imagine the stress of thinking about how I appear to the world while I'm gardening or eating dinner at home with no guests!

“performative” is the perfect descriptor for this! reminds me of the feminist studies on the subject of femininity as a constant performance. it’s heartbreaking tbh

Just in case it wasn’t clear, this performance of elegance is for men. It’s to increase your chance of getting picked. And the fact that it even extends to hobbies and time in private just expresses how the pick-me mindset goes beyond just performing in front of men to be picked - it’s about existing that way even in their absence because we don’t exist for ourselves, but for them. You can’t behave or dress or like what you actually like even in private because the male gaze should occupy your mind even then. Because you exist FOR them. Crazy that this has been a thing for so long

yeah this is like peak fake.

​@@sitoe9858 I'm curious, where did you get those ideas from? In certain parts fo the world etiquette may have been traditionally associated with women, but the truth is that both men and women of higher class and nobility were expected to adhere to proper etiquette. It's not just about putting on a performance to attract a partner - it's always been a way to demonstrate one's social status and educational background. These Tiktok videos, while entertaining, don't provide an accurate representation of what the real etiquette classes look like.

which I don't give a shit about lol

I do it for myself not for men

@@TheQueen-sw4th ditto lmao

thats gay bro

Except that it isn't honestly. If I saw saw an actual person doing any of this crap I'd just be confused as hell. Efficiency is attractive

fr bro. And gardening? Gardening lmao??? I doubt this person has ever picked up a shovel in their life

And equestrianism?? One of the hardest and most dangerous sports ever? Be fr

Like baking seriously? why not reading or knitting lmao

EXACTLY! Skiing is nowhere near “eLeGAnT. “ And same with baking.

i bet these ladies will faint as soon as they see the posture and clothes itself that we need to wear/maintain during skiing, also i always kinda thought of skiing as a bada$$ sport

That sounds like my grandmother as well. She always makes comments when we're going out in public or when guests are going to be around, but mostly leaves us alone at home unless we're doing something particularly unpleasant to her (i.e. slurping the last drops of a drink through a straw or something 😂). Feels like the only way to realistically live with the "elegance" pressure!

Exactly. And I don't have a problem with it until they start trashing other women who aren't "ladylike" in public

I took etiquette classes myself as a means to help my poor social skills due to autism. I didn't and still don't understand the reasoning behind half the stuff I was expected to do, but it does make one feel oddly powerful when you can make someone warm up to you by sitting or speaking a certain arbitrary way. I think these ladies have fallen for their own illusion.

and trust me, real noble women from a few centuries ago lounged without underwear in their rooms too

Is your name Serena Van Der Woodsen by chance?

Grew up in the Deep South and had "lady lessons" from a status obsessed aunt. I only use the book balancing thing as a party trick (its a lame one too) and I'm basically the complete opposite of what she was aiming to make me lol.

​@Highest In the Room boi pls do a favor in society and stfu

having standards is not wrong but too much is neither goof

And the scolding from parents! Don't forget that! 🤗

​@Highest In the Room You're just mad that she's right clown.

Men 🤡

@@yaaassbitch8704 ah men are fine. And increasingly so, I think. But there are certainly times and places and people that refuse to use their good logic

Good thing he's your ex

@@yaaassbitch8704 the appropriate response

Men think we do everything for them lmfaoo

Wow me!

Me af

Lesson: don’t be ladylike( if you don’t want to).Be you. Edit: if you enjoy being ladylike, be ladylike. What I’m trying to say is be you.

It's disingenuous to say that the 3rd one is bad, the advice is essentially "be clean and tidy" (though the one about drinking out of bottles is odd I must admit), but that's a useful piece of advice for anyone, it's scientifically proven to be helpful for a clearer and happier state of mind, and it's not something that only women are told, men are told that all the time too, it's one of the main things Jordan Peterson talks about. I understand that some people don't want to do that and want to relax at home, which is fine too, but belittling legit information doesn't seem right to me.

@@Kat_dragon Some women are going to behave ladylike and others won't, both are valid.

🤣

I was thinking the same thing. That was impressive

True talent

I was not expecting the books to stay on while she was standing in the tree

Super fancy

​@@maculariusstanding in a tree? Did you not see her running full speed with a stack of books on her head?

I mean… worked for Kaguya

How is ARCHERY considered a lady-like hobby? They keep saying “Women have to be dainty and elegant.” Yet archery is the exact opposite of dainty and elegant.

Most of those hobbies I honestly wouldn’t consider “ladylike”. Because I assume “ladylike” as a hobby means “sit still, look pretty, be polite, and make good conversation”. Also, don’t ever show to anyone you are a human being with bodily functions who can experience strong emotions.

Both genders can do that tbh.

@@Followthecat893 There's elegance in archery

The difference between the architects, civil engineers, and interior designers vs the carpenters, stonemasons, and construction workers.

People who hire prof. gardeners often don't even specify the plants. They just say what kind of style and maintanance level they want and if it should be producing food or not.

Having been part of a communal garden myself, I just took it for granted gardening is kind of "dirty" and wouldn't even assume other people dont get it. But I dont think its directly gross. Im also an artist like actually paint on a regular basis and have even had my artworks at small scale art exhibitions a couple times. Painting creates a lot of mess and spilling on your clothes is almost certain to happen at some point, so its recommended to not use the nicest clothes you have (which is were it would get "un-lady-like"), but you can if you want. People restrict themself way too much if they can never do anything you wouldn't do in fine clothes

​​@@josefstalin9678 would say it's slightly different. The examples you've mentioned is forming a plan and executing said plan. The difference between artists and art enthusiasts is that it's planning/executing and simply supporting the projects indirectly by being a big consumer, respectively.

I was a Master Gardener for a few years and it is a lot of work shoveling soil and propagating plants and transplanting seedlings and planting, digging etc. All outside in the sun with bugs. :) My mother in law used to just have a gardener come do her front yard then talk about "her" flowers. Meh.

Obviously she meant rich people gardening, not actual gardening, which involves telling the underpaid servants what to do in the garden while you faff about on a horse, or whatever else it is rich people do with their time.

don't forget getting mud all over your face, hair, AND body, tripping over the tools and hose, getting dirt under your nails. truly elegant ❤

Literally just typed out a very similar comment…then scrolled and saw this 🤦‍♀️😂 But yes…nothing says elegant like dirt and cow s*** caked under my nails. So fancy!

@@JockeSohls yes, she absolutely meant lawn decorating, not actual gardening.

@@jesusheals3799 and nails. You really have to dig out the dirt out of the nails to clean it. No regular hand washing is getting it off in one go.

I say that I go to the bathroom to leave people in the dark about what I'm doing there.

I will literally announce that I am going to go poop and my dad responds with "I'll alert the media"

Chad Chad quality editing is peak elegance.

Yeah its weird

Exactly

Thats what made me dislike the Real housewives of potomac. Even for someone who grew up poor, most of their "rules" are just common decency lol

Tiktok does that to a lot of things sadly.

I'll never forget when I realized I, a country bumpkin, have more class than my rich family(i wasn't raised with them, long story). Tldr, I did something embarrassing on complete accident at a wedding. Every last one of them fled the table and made me sit alone embarrassed. Imagine my shock when I took etiquette classes and realized my instinct to help someone in that situation is considered classier than this "everyone makes 6 figures and wants for nothing" family.

affordable gardening

@@ao3x as in being able to afford somewhere with a garden

​@@cattherat-ss4kvpots

@@justaperson4656 you're getting free pots?

@@cattherat-ss4kv a good dumpster dive gets you a lot

The amount of back and core strength ballet dancers have makes me think it's the type of sport where you go home and die on the couch after every rehearsal.

I'd assume this is neglecting the whole "your big toe nail can fall off" thing

haha i like ur sarcasm

THE FEET SMELL OH MY GOD 😭 so many studios smell fucking rank

OwO smelly feet you say? Joking, but you can take this as you want lol

Especially if you take adult classes. I did ballet all the way through highschool and we had a dress code. I picked it back up again recently as an adult and they don't give a fuck what you wear anymore.

I mean, that's true for most of the things she listed. They are hard and require a great deal of skill and work. I think what's happening here is the packaging of things that are actually totally fine in infantalizing wrapping paper because society has to denigrate the things that women like

That got me, too. No actual dancer is that TikTok ballet core stereotype. She has so clearly never performed any of the hobbies she listed in the video

You're lucky, we all had to wear the exact same thing, black leotard and white stockings, if someone wore something different, they'd make such a drama out of it and kick you out of the class.

My ballet teacher always used to say she couldn't tell if we were using the right technique if we didn't have just the basic leotard and tights on, though we were allowed to wear a sweater if it was cold. Don't really miss doing classes, though quitting cold turkey did fuck my body up a bit lol

true!

Literally

They do

Nah we actually do😊

​@@azudemttilatroll man detected opinion rejected ❤

jesus christ I'm Algerian, it's literally most my interactions with older women

Being Jisoo's wife is far better anyway 😆

My mom tells me that she's Mexican 💀

Haha sucks for them I DON'T WANT TO MARRY MEN EITHER

​@@acleo1421 Hahahah frr

Bleeding??

@@sofastuffing from blisters, other toe injuries, and falling :)

@@mcboingboingsister6258 oh yes and ofc The beautiful fully fallen out(ripped out) toenails during practice and then The taped nailless toes, continued practice with toeshoes is My favourite ✨aesthetic✨and sorry of My writing errors im little in hurry ( and dyslexia+ english is 3rd language)😭 ❤️

@@mcboingboingsister6258 oof

My pinky toe nails still don’t grow in normally after like 8 years since I quit it’s gonna haunt me forever 😭 I still miss being on stage though!

yay me too. I'm still young so the rebelling has ended up with me having pixie cut hair for 3 years now

legend has i,t this is where trans men came from.

literally what ive been doing for so long and its amazing 👍👍👍

Funny how this works, my mom pays a lot of attention to „ladylike” looks - the result is I wear metal band t-shirts and yoga pants, and my sis exlusively male coded clothing

​@@commandercorl1544 absolutely not. There are plenty of men who love tomboys. I dated one when i was 14. We're both in our early twenties now and she still hasn't transitioned into a man. Just because a woman isn't traditionally feminine, doesn't mean she'll become a man😅😂

something similar happened to me but with corn dogs :(

Holy shit. That's literal 3rd grader mentality.

@@RamenAddict369 a real lady has vitamin deficiency

@@RamenAddict369 Real Ladies Have Scurvy And Type Like This!

If you’re still at this school, deepthroat a banana while staring directly at her to assert feminine dominance.

Golden "hooker" heels with a dress that is so flimsy, so 'elegant.'... Not to mention that next "elegant" lady will tell that, no, you actually can and need to hold on to the railing. Also, have they seen The Queen walking down the stairs? I mean, the lady was sort of an epitome of étiquette and elegance. Or Duchess Catherine. They don't walk down the stairs looking like a Disney movie high school queen b.

Lol xDD I've always found this kind of videos (I got some recommended some years ago) a bit weird because some things they say and do are quite the opposite or not quite the thing wealthy people do. And why do so many of them have obviously made their lips? Doesn't it contradict what they're saying is elegant?

also, she looks goofy af lol. not ladylike at all

Celebs are the oone who made yoga pants trendy lol

not to mention that "looking expensive" sort of just sounds like she is a sex slave.

Yes, I am autistic as well and I read American Girl books as a kid instead. Those are so much healthier and less toxic.

Just curious, why'd you include that you were on the spectrum? Do you mean" it's hard enough socially, I don't need more rules"?

@@justabout6979 that's a great question! lots of people on the spectrum have specific preferences on clothing, almost always removing shirt tags and anything scratchy, wearing only soft clothes that feel comfortable and don't cause sensory issues instead of choosing clothes based more off how they look. I couldn't believe the tik tok lady said no baggy clothes EVEN AT HOME, I'd go insane! The whole vibe of deciding everything you do based on a stereotype is just so toxic, true self expression is really important for everyone, but especially neurodivergent people

​@@juliasutton8634 on a related note, as someone also autistic, I was pretty much the golden standard for lady-like as a child (well for how young I was at least) my need for things like quiet spaces, soft clothing, not wanting to participate in rowdy activities, not talking unless prompted... it aligned me with a lot of things expected of girls and women. And I just happen to do those because of sensory issues, not at all because I was trying to be that way or look down at others. (I WISHED I enjoyed being rowdy! they looked like they were having fun! but I just got overwhelmed) I think this especially made people surprised (and usually irritated) when I would Not align with lady-like things. I can only assume because either; it broke the illusion that I was this perfect kid, or that if I was lady-like in most things, then I should know how to be in all aspects.

@@justabout6979 I’ll be honest, I find that most etiquette is a lot easier to learn than regular social cues. Only problem is that a lot of these etiquette accounts aren’t necessarily teaching etiquette to be a better, more considerate person but teaching women how to some haughty ass “high value” woman. We don’t want to be subservient to some guy with a Ferrari, we just want to be polite and graceful for ourselves and the people around us or at least I do.

This comment is literally me when ever i try to bake 💀

Or when you're entirely covered from head to toe in flour as your face itches, and you can't scratch it because because your hands are covered in bread dough

​@@Plusboyserpremacydon't you learn from your mistakes when it comes to baking?

@jenkathefridge3933 I do yes, and I've gotten better but my oven doesn't always work right and will get to hot, or not hot enough so even though I've learned what to do and what not to do I still end up burning something. And my comment was meant as a joke so I exaggerated how often I burn stuff, It isn't literally when ever I bake

@@Plusboyserpremacy As long as your improving that what matters

nothing more ladylike than ✨ _classism_ ✨

You just need to find a rich gentleman who pays for everything when he's not out murdering prostitutes, like a proper Victorian.

"Hey Timmy, give that well dressed homeless lady a dollar for coffee"

interestingly enough, it was always about the classism & financial status. if you look at the poor, lower class & working class people (both men *and* women) throughout history, none of them were really able to look like a gentleman or proper lady, because the clothes that were deemed "fancy" and "proper" were all financially inaccessible to them, and also extremely impractical. for example, a *lot* of women throughout history had to wear pants, because you couldn't do the jobs they were doing in a dress! (yes, the women were expected to take care of the home and children, but they also often had jobs outside of that, i.e. helping their husbands with farm work in order for them not to, y'know, starve.) the whole point of the aristocratic culture of gentlemanly and ladylike behavior was formed by the rich to distinguish and separate themselves from the working class & impoverished population. you didn't want to be seen in pants as a lady, lest you be mistaken as poor and grouped in with the peasants! the behavior aspect was also worked into the culture to further separate themselves (we don't dress like we're poor, and we don't act like we're poor either!). the patriarchy made the dress code and behavior etiquette much harsher on the women, but men also had their own set of standards to be a proper gentleman of the time period. nowadays, instead of "gentlemanly" etiquette, it's "HOW TO BE AN ALPHA MALE GIGACHAD & MAKE WOMEN RESPECT YOU". i recognize the inherent classism in "ladylike/gentlemanly" behavior of olde, but i'd MUCH rather take a man in formal attire over being called a bitch by an incel...... (not to mention women were just as disrespected back then as they are now anyway, it's just that it's gotten a lot more... straightforward? Victorian men were like *[disrespects women & their autonomy, but politely with a bow]*)

Victorian gentleman greeting a lady: Good evening, my dear lady! *[kisses her hand]* him, internally: *"She sat with her legs a little too open in her chair. Harlott."*

I remember my mom telling me the same. I didn't quite like skirts back then and I used to sit in weird positions (still do). I was really stubborn so I retorted something along the lines of "then they can look, for all i care." I didn't see what was the big deal especially when I was wearing stocking underneath.

I’m almost 30 and my mom still wants to annoy me about how I sit. “Adults don’t sit like that”, is the new version and guess what, I’m an adult and I do. I’m a short adult who doesn’t like to have her legs dangling off a chair,. Only disadvantage is that it’s not very comfortable for cats, only cats will make me sacrifice comfort for a bit.

see my mum told me to sit like “a lady” even while wearing pants all the time😅 but never explained why, so it was always confusing to me, I think it’s actually fair enough for parents to worry about perverts, but it’s the others fault, not the child. I also had a boy in class poking girls between the legs with a ruler under the table (they all had skirts on) I snitched on him but it made me glad I had pants on and made me question why on earth a boy would think to do such a thing.

Yeah that's why I hate skirts now. Because to me wearing a skirt/dress means I'm gonna have to hold up to a certain etiquette and I don't want that. So now I just wear pants. Tho recently I've started to wear maxi skirts which are also comfy and I don't need to worry about flashing someone.

I'm sure some might look, but it's rarely intentionally seeing what can be seen. Perverts make up a relatively small percentage

she likely had the least etiquette in the room if she was not only publicly ridiculing him, but doing it loud enough for others to hear. Poor guy. It'd be one thing if she corrected him in private and wasn't so strict about little things, but its another to just put your son on blast in public or make them feel like they can't succeed due to all the petty rules.

That lady is just a control freak. My old science teacher is exactly like her. my old science teacher, is very petty about little things, like making sure your computer is perfect with the board, or if your paper is straight on your desk, etc. one time we were highlighting and reading something. And as i was highlighting the stuff, she came up behind me and said “hey, u need to pay more attention, and highlight more” like- bent over my shoulder, and wispered through her teeth like she was mad at me- And then- 5 MINUTES LATER she came behind me and said; “you are in the wrong section of the paragraph” but we had just started reading a new paragraph-and she was behind me the intire time… kinda weird how she was standing behind me like that lol. There is so much more stuff she has done to me and my classmates that really annoys me but i better stop typing otherwise ima write a whole essay

@@KoriSt4r that's really weird...

@@leeaschmidt2490 IKR

Poor kid, just let kids behing kids and have fun

Exactly, ballet wear is usually consistent of leotards and skirts, but athletic wear can also be allowed in certain ballet schools (ours doesn't allow it unless your leotard reeks of sweat and you don't have anything else to wear), because the fabric is flexible. Doing ballet in "ladylike" clothing should be considered a goddamned torture, since you're going to spend so much time with itchy clothing and inflexible fabrics that can break upon any stretch or combination the ballet teachers give you.

Yes, and how am I supposed to work in the garden without ever bending over or getting my clothes dirty? Also, a fancy dress wouldn't be very practical, just like in ballet class.

Bro stop existing, it's not ladylike.

@@whatadistinguishedgentlecat exactly, i couldn't even imagine doing a pointe class in fancy "lady-wear", its already tortuous enough in a leotard and tights

yep they're mean girls

this was an entire paragraph basically being like “but I LOVE having to perform femininity” we will never be free

@@sweetembrace6706 being free means that the OG commenter gets to like etiquette. It’s saying women HAVE to be one way or the other or shaming them for their choices that’s the problem.

Exactly! I feel like the least elegant, "ladylike" thing to do is go around judging how "unladylike" everyone else is

​@@sweetembrace6706 me when i have zero reading comprehension

All of those require having more money than more money than you need to survive. If you have a bit of money left at the end of the month, that can be enough for a lot of hobbies, but not for any of these

@@anzaia2164 i dunno gardening can be cheap if you already have a yard and you're growing potatoes

@winny Yeah, real gardening is cheap in money (not in time and energy, haha) I just think that is not what she is talking about

​@@anzaia2164 baking is cheap af, it's cheaper to beak your own bread than to buy it

to be fair, being an art enthusiast is basically free

Thankfully, those characters usually end up realizing it's okay to be messy, imperfect and a regular person.

​@@Aster_Risk right after they meet a handsome vineyard owner