There’s zero benefit to dating a single parent when you’re childfree.

I think it is better for someone who has no children to be with some who also has no children.

Don’t date a man with kid/s!!! It sucks! No matter how much you love him and die for him it’s just not worth staying forever! You can get out and find the ideal man with no baggage! Been there done that! Trust me, I know it’s hard but it’s even harder if you stay. It just hurts forever..

don't date or marry a man with (small) children. you will always come second and he has lived his life, you get less

never believe when a single daddy tells u that u will be as important as my kids to me. U will never be important as the kids to him.

As a man I won't date single moms so I think it's smart for a woman to stay away from the single dad. It's better to have your first child together as a family rather than enter someone else's already existing family

Childfree women should NOT waste time dating or marrying baby daddies.

Remember you arr last but your money is first

I look at ppl with kids as having baggage. I just prefer giving someone our first child

I like older dudes and I'm 36 now, which means I've dated many single dads. From my experiences and what I've seen, the biggest challenge of dating single dads is that when we do understand that their priorities are kids and works. However, they take it for granted from the girls they date and expect them to understand and accept it unconditionally. I mean what we want is just the appreciation and consideration from them when we're being understanding since we already know that they're single dads before we start dating them. I do understand that their schedule is busy and could be crazy sometimes, but what I'm looking for is that they'd like to make the efforts and be considerate to my feelings instead of expecting me to take it or leave it. I think that's the biggest blind spot that they need to learn before they become ready for another serious relationships.

If you want to be really happy, fulfilled, and succeed in a relationship, I can strongly recommend a "NO CHILDREN" policy as the top of your list for dating qualifications wholeheartedly. Children, especially young children who live at home, complicate relationships exponentially even when they're your own. When they're someone else's? It makes it very unlikely the relationship will work out and succeed in the long run. Remarriage statistics aren't good already. This is true even when the bio mother is gone from the picture, has abandoned her children or even died, there are simply huge problems with managing "blended families". If you don't have a child don't buy into more baggage than you're bringing. And oh gosh, if you can't have a child, or have lost a child or miscarried? DEFINITELY DO NOT MARRY someone with children. You'll be constantly callously reminded of your infertile/childless status as though it's a personal failure and a character flaw and how it's "all for the best" because you're so fill-in-the-blank with manufactured cruel and false knife-twisting personal criticisms. There are a lot of people preferentially choosing not to have children these days. If you can't have children or have lost a child find someone who doesn't have them and definitely doesn't want them in preference to becoming a step-parent. Rather than "filling that void", the nearly inevitable rejection will only serve to deepen the pain. Go to grief counseling for yourself and marry a truly single man instead. Choosing someone with no children will smooth the path for any relationship considerably. Kids of divorce or of the "Baby Daddy/he never married my mom" variety are generally angry and wounded and will see you as taking something away from their family, even if you didn't even know their father when their parent's relationship ended. Just don't do that to yourself. It's painful and rarely rewarding. Children will very rarely accept stepmothers. You're in for a lot of undeserved grief as a stepmom. Don't go there unless you enjoy being stomped on like a doormat. Children statistically accept stepfathers much more easily than a stepmother, but even those stats are not good. If you try to come in with a normal, reasonable expectation that you and your feelings are just as important as anyone else in the family, you're in for a rude awakening. You'll be "checked" on that really fast and really hard. If you're sensitive at all, forget it. Kids can be cruel and they will be unfair, judgmental, and cruel to you about everything, every day of your life for the entire time you're married to their father. It will be their goal to get rid of you. Don't be fooled even if they're polite and well-behaved before the wedding. The day you move in with their family they'll be fantasizing about you being gone and gunning to throw in every monkey wrench they can to kill your marriage. Mark my words. You'll have to be fully dressed in your own house day and night until they move out lol and they'll never move out! And sex? Forget about sex. You'll have to go to a hotel. They'll complain bitterly if they hear even the slightest squeak or bump out of your bedroom. It won't matter how good or kind or caring or patient or helpful to them you are, you're always going to be the Evil Stepmonster. Exceptions are too rare to be given meaningful consideration. Your needs will always be placed at the lowest priority for this type of family, even by your spouse, who should champion you and be united with you in setting rules and boundaries and sharing their parental authority with you. They will side against you with their children even when they're totally wrong. It's hurtful and dysfunctional. Don't go there. Why start your life off against the worst possible odds? Find someone who can put you first (because you are their only!) and give you the love and attention you deserve in a marriage. I don't know why so many people think they want kids. It's a strong biological drive and society was formed around "peopling the earth" when there weren't nearly 8 Billion people on our planet-but that's their problem, it doesn't have to become yours. Even adult offspring can be difficult. So tread carefully there as well. For every happy ending "Brady Bunch" story there are hundreds of thousands of blended family disasters. If you think having your own baby together will somehow make the family bond look at Meghan Markle. The way those half-siblings of hers have publicly attacked her is sadly typical of what your child can hope for as the "bonding baby". If you really want a successful, happy marriage avoid the clustercuss of a blended family altogether. Even If you have your own child already the same holds true. Why choose someone who has baggage that will further complicate your and your child's already distressingly complicated life? Trust me. Here there be monsters. I wouldn't make that same mistake again for anything.

I agree with her 100%...I sacrificed all of my time, emotional energy, and money for a man who just needed someone to watch his kids and pleasure him. Dealing with a man with no kids is already enough in itself, much less a man and his extended family. It's a no for me...

If you are child free but date a man with kids then you have no self worth. You rather be at the end of the priority list.

I'm 31 and I refuse to date men with kids. They'll match my dating profile that CLEARLY says this then tell me "I know you said you don't date men with kids but I think we have a lot in common" *BLOCKED* No one will guilt trip me into signing up for a negative equity situation full of BM drama, bad a** kids I have 0 say in disciplining and being 2nd to a man who expects me to put him first. Also, if he created 1-2+ single mothers, what makes you think you won't be his next victim? High risk, low reward. Sounds desperate if you ask me.

I dated a woman with kids, it was over once her ex brought flowers for her the third time he came over in 1 week. That was time to pack up, everything these women are saying is true.

I feel like the girl conducting the interview has never dated a man with children, I feel like she just doesnt get how bad it feels to not be prioritized and to have to put up with the baby mama drama. It sucks feeling like a 3rd wheel and that's been my experience dating a man with children.

The answer is NO

If you don't have the baggage of a child, stay away from single fathers. The baby mom will always try to sabotage your relationship and her child will always serve as a reminder of her and their dysfunctional relationship. You'll be involved in their drama and constantly be reminded that he made a child with someone else. Especially if you want your own healthy family one day where the man's first fatherhood is experience is with you (and trust me, you will).

The main issue is not working boundaries from the get go. Simple as that. Priority is not really a thing. Everybody is priority just at different times.

Some people learn by their own bad experience and some people learn by other people's bad experiences. Be the second one. I have a VERY bad experience dating a single dad. Being a childless women it does NOT feel good to be someone's second. And sometimes when you feel like telling them you want to be the first priority in some cases you feel Guilt. You will always be trapped between these feelings.

Its up to the man to set the boundaries.

I have one friend who’s been with her guy for years now. She and him have two kiddos together. He has 3 kids from someone else one of them in heaven. She told me her guy has never made her feel like she’s second. He has ALWAYS put her first right there with his kids!

CAUTIONARY TALE I DATED A SINGLE MAN WITH 2 KIDS 4 AND 2, HE TOLD ME THE MOM LEFT HIM WHEN THE YOUNGEST WAS 3 MONTHS DUE TO SUBSTANCE ABUSE, HE TOLD ME THE MOM WAS NOT ON THE SCENE AND IF SHE GOT HER ACT TOGETHER AND WANTED TO BE IN HER KIDS LIVES HE WOULD ALLOW THAT, I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THAT BUT WHAT THE TIME WASTER DID NOT TELL ME IS SHOULD HIS BABY MOMA COME BACK HE WOULD WANT TO GIVE IT ANOTHER GO WITH HER FOR THE SAKE OF THE KIDS, WELL THE MOM DID COME BACK AFTER 2 YEARS AFTER I WAS LIKE A SURROGATE MOM FOREVER BABYSITTING NOT GOING OUT OR SEEING MY MATES LOOKING AFTER HIS KIDS THEN HE TELL ME THAT THE MOM HAS GONE CLEAN AND HE OWED IT TO HIS KIDS TO MAKE A FRESH START I WAS DUMPED AFTER WASTING 2 PRECIOUS YEARS OF MY LIFE WITH A MAN WHO WAS NOT STRAIGHT WITH ME FROM THE OFF I FELT USED HE ALWAYS KNEW IN HIS HEART HE WOULD WANT TO MAKE A GO OF IT WITH HIS BABY MOM SO NOW I DO NOT DATE SINGLE DADS TOO COMPLICATED

I'm a single man with kids ... I don't want my ex .. I don't want to even exist on the same planet lol ... but I know how hard it must be for women .. I know I have to be a strong man and be understanding of the past of my lover .. but this is to much to ask a woman to understand .. after watching this .. I realise now I am not meant for love ... and I can never be loved ... I suppose it gives me some closure in knowing that I have failed as a "real man" i wish you ladies all the best in findingnthat love and a place that makes you happy

This was like a free therapy session. Lol, thank you for the good conversation.

I totally agree. It's the same for us. Single moms are un-datable.

It really touched me in a deep way when you both reached the point of understanding that it was the lack of love and attention from the parents that sets you up for going into most life situations feeling secondary or less than! That made so much sense to me, and I think working on that core issue will help me be open to relationships in the future, and they'll be in a much healthier place emotionally. Thank you!

I'm single w/o kids and have dated women with kids. I grew up with a step dad and am greatful he was there because he taught me so much. When I try to set boundaries with their kids and be a father figure I get shut down because they're her kids and she knows how to raise them. I go in knowing if it doesn't work then I loose that connection with her, her kid(s), and her dog. Heartbreak X3 or more.

NO NO and NO!!! Run the other way!!!! I refuse to date a man that has small children. Its not for me. I think Id be able to deal with a man that has adult kids but not small ones.

She is speaking my life... I grew up having to be self sufficient, and the good girl.... So I now get taken for granted by men, because I'm such the good girl..... I didn't cause my parents any issues so they didn't pay me attention. I never got enough attention and affection... I never learnt how to ask for attention or affection because I never received it.

This is so spot on for me. I ran across this video randomly, and the timing is so insanely perfect! Thank you for sharing. Such a beautiful message and such beautiful women! ❤️

If the children are grown, yes. If not, no way.

I learnt that we take our childhood experiences into all our adult relationships

This really strikes a chord, and says exactly what I've been feeling. I've been dating the love of my life (I'm 39, and finally know what that looks and feels like) and he has a son. It's been a challenge at times to articulate what comes up for me when his son or ex (girlfriend and mother of his child) is at all times in the picture. I was afraid it was plain jealousy but knew it was something deeper. Our communication has always been good (mainly based on him being a psychologist) but this hasn't been something I've been able to fully articulate with him or with myself. Thank you for sharing

No never ever go after that trap in human form. Single fathers aren’t there to make you happy or feel loved, be a gentleman in your life, it’s just to keep himself off the leftover category. They want you to make their life interesting again and make you put up with his kids. Don’t ever think he’ll keep his kids out of the relationship because that’s a lie. He will only tell you what you want to hear and when he has you he’ll show his true colours and you will be baby mama nr two.

My boyfried has 3 kids with 2 different women but his kids lives in other countries. He is working hard and all his money goes for rent, children amd he likes expensive things and at the end he doesn't have 1 dollar in his pocket. He asked me to marry him and move with him because he can't pay his rent and i said no. He was angry but i told him that is hard living together and looking to have a future together when we can't do anything together or travel somewhere or even go out coz he is almost always broke. He is a gopd guy but i don't know what to do. I am 39 and he is 35. I am not really happy

🤯I need to hire this gal for me! Sounds like an amazing quality therapist! MY GOODNESS!! SUBSCRIBED! (This brought up so much for me... and worried that if I ever shared this with my mother/father, that they’d laugh, because I was always told how much they did for me.)

Even if the ex wife/BM gives no shit about you being the new girlfriend… that man has trauma that he will never be able to let go of. He will never see YOU. he will see HER.

I think people really under estimate the truly powerful role parents play in setting up their childs outlook, not only on life, but on relationships, family dynamic, and even them-self. I see a lot of myself in Sofia, and I know a lot of my past problems have been because of me seeking things I did not get early in life and still long for but not really knowing how to get them or address what I needed that was lacking.

My boyfriend is a man who has never been married and doesn’t have kids. I have two kids. He’s amazing and our relationship is very healthy

Unless he's wealthy, don't do it. Most men are average & they make average salary. So if a man makes 70k annually & he have kids, 1/2 of that is alimony & child support. 🙄

Wow this is such a fascinating conversation! I just decided to subscribe after watching this one interview. Sophia is absolutely beautiful... here honesty shines thru her ... kavita you did a fantastic job !

I am SO glad I found this video. I have never dated a guy with children but a guy I was chatting to just told me he has one and doesn't get on with his ex. Hmmm, how can I politely run away. haha

Thank you so much for the insight . it is just so timely that i am in this situation, same thing that I could not give my partner any Kids. It is such a self empowerment advice.

Dating a man with kids can be a touchy situation...especially when he has multiple kids with multiple women that he wasn't serious about. When it comes to dating men with children...TREAD LIGHTLY because depending on that past relationship, there is still a level of volatility between both parties and in some cases both parties AND the child.

Why should I share his money with them ? No way

I wouldn't do it either!

Yes! I have kids (13, 19), so I've gone through that experience with a different man but when I think about my partner going through it with a different woman, my jealous thoughts start knocking on the door. I hate this about me.

Amazing conversation. Thank you ❤🙏

Thsnk you Madam Kavita for your wonderful channel too. So on point

The interviewer is obviously not clear on the lived experience of a built family and being a third party. The unlimited access that the ex wives/baby mother has to the man and his inability to set boundaries is emotional abuse. The children and the mother will ALWAYS come first. Never believe what he says. Trust his actions. If the ex takes priority leave immediately. It is never a good idea to date someone with kids. The interviewer is completely incompetent. You frantically increase your risk for being taken for granted when you date a man with children. You deserve better Queen. Run 😊

Deep and insightful

Thank you for this dialogue...

After listening to the first part of her first paragraph, I think what she wants is not to date a man with children.

Single parents should date single parents… Easy!!! And stop having some offensive comments like single parents are a curse!!!

If a man won't date a single mother he isn't a "REAL MAN " BUT WHEN A WOMAN won't date a single father that's OK nice double standards

No. Never again.

I feel this so deeply. 😔

Just stumbled on this video. Today! I identify wirh everything Sopha said. I would love to be her friend

If you bring peace into a man’s life and respect his boundaries also having accountability for yourself he will cherish you whether he is a single dad or not. Women want to be the priority in a man’s life and once he puts her on a pedestal she will treat him like a fan.

If I was not married - absolutely NOT! He would never put me first, he'd be putting his kids first.

So who then should single dads date? Other women with kids? How does this work out either? Not complaining (I’m not a man, nor do I have kids) but I wonder and never see this addressed.

NO! Unless you are practicing for 1 day when you have your own kids, You should NOT date a man with kids.

NO !!

NO IM GOOD . DID THAT IN THE PAST NEVER AGAIN.

Just don't do it. End of conversation.

Good advice, i have a friend, who has been separated for 7 months now, but 6 months ago, she decided to jump into another relationship with a Venezuelan guy, whom she just met, talking how sweet, kind and fun talking about him teaching her his culture. Now, this guy is 44 and has a 9 year old daughter. A month, after they met, he helped her get her stuff out of her ex husbands house, then on Valentine's Day, she said that he gave her a balloon, a card, some chocolate and invited him to her house and they stayed out until o'clock nothing. Now, she does not even know him at all

As a man with a child this video and comments just be cutting me up. I wish I could help it but what can I do.

As long as they are legally single.

Am dating a man with 2 kids and the kids re staying with their mom,he always go there to see his kids and bring them to the house,but am not staying with him. We having a long term relationship, which am scared he will go back to her wife. But he always tells me he will marry me and doesn't care or have feelings for his ex wife. Should I believe him or move on with my life.

My husband told me that he still had feelings for his ex when we started dating. He keeps me in the shadows of whats going on between him and his ex. Hes said that both of his exes come first because they are the mother of his kids and im just his wife. He said i dont need to know everything going on between him and his exes because he just want his kids no matter what it takes. I've asked for what i need. Ive asked for more hugs. To be held more. His answer is that he is not a lovey dovey person. He said his not compassionate.

Just know ther could be troubles over kids.

This talk is so wonderfully deep and nuanced yet so many of the video's comments are so one-sided and such oversimplifications :(

This is why as a single dad with full custody of older sons I don't expect a committed relationship. Just seeking her free time and intimacy.

😣😢😢

As a man with 2 young children I have real issue with some of the responses here. The presumed "baggage" a man carries due to having kids isn't the issue and is in fact an assumption. People get taken for granted all the time in many situations as Kavita explains. It all comes down to communication. I pride myself on being a dedicated father but if I were to meet a significant other she would certainly be a main priority. The women commenting on this saying never date a man with children are truly closing themselves off and are likely not ready for a healthy relationship with or without kids in the mix. If you don't have a healthy relationship with yourself, are confident in your own skin and can't communicate your needs then ultimately any relationship you move forward in will fail - you will build up resentment and move toward creating a self-fulfilling prophecy, continuing your cycle. There are way more men out there stepping up to help woman with their children from past relationships. I wonder if there's a biological selfishness in such women because joining a family is a noble choice.

I don't get why this relationship coach is trying to say that it's the woman's past insecurities and her "neediness" is the issue here. It's not at all ! Stop digging ! Everyone wants to be a priority and if a man wants a relationship with a woman then it doesn't matter whether he has kids or not he has to prioritise his woman as she needs to get something out of the deal as well otherwise he better be on his own and wait until the kids grow up or get back with their baby mama and all the drama! But guess what men with kids want single women and why do you think that is?! Selfishness at it's best!

So funny to see this, all these women discuss and complain but what it really comes down to is that they can't stand it if they don't get full total attention and full access to the guys wallet. Women so narcissistic that any man is better off without them. 🤣

God some of these comments are so selfish why are some of us so afraid to sacrifice for the benefit of the child. Maybe the father needs help or good influences. No option is perfect and we’re not actually queens and goddesses were human beings who need to work together and it takes a village to raise a child. He made a mistake help him. Things will pay off someday. Stop looking for instant gratification and make a real difference in someone’s life.

If she’s at an age where a man most likely already has kids. It’s best she should confront her lack of acceptance towards herself. Because to me it sounds like she’s more insecure about not being able to conceive babies. Maybe the baby moms aren’t even that bad, perhaps they co-parent really great! She needs to work on herself smh 💀 as a man it won’t be fun to have to constantly reassure her she’s all he desires.

Men, never take dating advice, or any other for that matter, from a woman, don't chase women, STAY AWAY FROM SINGLE MOTHERS, go to gym, seek God and focus all energy on doing qaht God wants.

Feel heartbroken as I ended it and we had that spark/chemistry but I wasn’t sure if I could go on as he had full custody of his 6 year old daughter, I’m 45 with no kids, we were always relying on babysitters and was difficult having alone time. Me and him got on fab and I miss him dearly and I don’t mean to sound selfish re the daughter but I wasn’t sure I could do it 🥲

no.