Kurtis's 70s porn stache and creed shirt transcends reality and distorts this simulation one joke at a time

The most unrealistic part of the episode knockoff is that the sway house has fans their age.

8:33 I imagine One direction board game as a snakes and ladders, but without snakes. You know, cause only one direction

this game is inaccurate af. juliette would've most likely be torn to shreds by sway house fanatics due to the threat of a woman being present in an all-male entertainment group

Kurtis should put out a game, called "Gamer? I Hardly Know Her"

can we talk about how making a game about your fans dating you is one of the weirdest indulgences of unhealthy parasocial relationships? they know their public is mostly 10 year old girls who are attracted to them. making what is basically a dating sim about youself is bizarre at best

The update of this is *chef's kiss* 1. There is still only one episode over 6 months later 2. To release a second episode, they are now asking for 15k instead of 50 because their following has decreased to 5k 3. They lowered the subscription to 1.99 a week, so now you can save on the zero content that you're buying!

I HAVE had a baby (vaginally) and I can confirm their delivery of those lines was more painful to get through then child labor.

Those 1D imagines had a more compelling story than this game 😶

kurtis dancing like a sway boy will forever haunt me

As a woman in her late twenties who is too old to know these influencers and doesn't watch them. They look like clones of one another. Lol

okay petition for Kurtis to make a game called ‘kurtis town’ where it’s basically like animal crossing mixed w stardew valley and set in canada.

Kurtis should make a Kurtistown game that is literally just Sims City but every Sim has Kurtis’ face

That tie joke was way funnier than it should’ve been

If I even *passed* the sway house street, I would immediately cover my drink

“The next morning, you wake up to sounds of grinding metal…” Slayer in her kitchen: 🎸🎸 🗣🎤

kurtis’s mustache looks like two centipedes kissing and i can’t stop staring at it

The fact he called his fans *customers* is so telling. It's clear that the Sway house sees their audience as people just there to give them money.

UPDATE for those curious. As of Feb 9, 2022, episode 2 is still not out. The account is at 40.9k followers. It’s been 4 months. That’s ~$50 of subscription fees for no additional content.

I was in show choir and theatre in high school. I was great at facial expressions and stage energy. I wasn't the best dancer at all, but with practice, I managed to learn all the steps. And if I messed up, my enthusiasm covered it up. Even beyond the stage, dancing was a big deal at my junior high and HS. Break dance circles after school, imitating the latest music videos, grinding and dropping it during school dances, knowing the steps to group dances (like Electric Slide or Cha-Cha Slide.) Being good at dancing was a point of pride. It earned you cool points. I'm in my 30s now, but I bet dancing skills are still valued by today's teenagers. So when I hear about TikTok dances, every single time I think, "Oh, this must be some cool choreography. Complicated or just looks really good. Lots of effort behind it." And every time, I am disappointed.

I love that the reason that they’ll possibly hit 50k is because we all want to see Kurtis play the rest of this game.

kurtis says “sorry for talking so much” like we’re not here to watch him talk for 25 minutes

Fun fact: if they don’t release the full game people can sue them for not supplying services since they are being charged. The fact that they charged for it opens them up to lawsuit

2 years later and they still don't have 50k followers 💀

this game feels like a fanfiction they wrote for themselves

i’m glad he apologized for talking so much i was trying to get a word in the whole time

Hey, comrade. I just came across this video like two months after it released, and I’m really worried. I just want to make sure… You _did_ cancel your swayboy house thing game subscription, right? Like, you haven’t been paying them this whole time, I hope. Just a heads up. I know I’d forget and then find out in like two years that I’d been paying these scumbags tons of money. Ok, cheers :)

“where are the rest of my sway boys” and the “you good??” had me SCREECHING with laughter it’s been a bad few months thank you for this video lmao

When Kurtis has probably played this game longer then everyone in the sway house combined

fun fact! sway is an acronym! it stands for: S- growth W-brotherhood A-content Y-creation

But what IS he whisper/mumbling around 10:19: "first one to prudence talks to her first" - it's really hard to make out. ("First one in the pool gets to talk to her first?" Is that it?)

11:33 "I was stoked to get an invite to a sway house party! Yeah!" *screeches like a demon*

I’m so happy for Kurtis’ hands, they seem like such a happy couple.

Sway Stories: 15.96$ per month Netflix: 13.99$ per month hmmmmm....

11:28 I think he said “first one in the pool gets to talk to her first”

I almost joined this company a few months ago and all I can say is that I definitely got the impression that it was mostly working on cash grabs. Tech was actually interesting (I know it doesn’t look like it, but there is a reason they got a ton of cash). I’m glad I didn’t join in the end, I wanted to get in the videogame industry, but not like this.

Their group lasted less time than the development of a cheap mobile game, rough

kurtis should make a stardew valley style game called kurtistown where you play the mayor and have to take care of the town

i dont know how to explain this, but watching kurtis’s videos while eating poptarts in the middle of the night hits different

15:12 that was 1/5 of an episode and they already expect money

the sway house is basically my nightmare. “a frat house where all the frat bros are famous tiktokers” like I would genuinely rather die than have to be in that house for any amount of time

Kurtis apologizing for talking “too much” in his own commentary video is peak insecurity and I can relate lol.

As a guy struggling to get a job for sound design in video games, when you said “I wish I could hear it”….. I felt that. I really felt that.

12:50 NOOOO WHYYY I HAVE TO LEGALLY CHANGE MY NAME NOW. THIS NEVER HAPPENS PLEASE NO. DISGUSTING.

Kurtis' hands getting married reminds me of the time my little sister had a wedding for her kneecaps

This game is literally just a wattpat fanfiction but you have to pay money for it.

14:32 the way Kurtis does Josh and Griffin’s voices is so funny 😂

10:07 you got me there, i wasnt expecting it

A content house is like a fraternity house, but you aren’t there for college, you’re there because you dropped from college

I absolutely love Kurtis's sense of humor but imagining him awkwardly setting up a joke without the edits makes me laugh without fail

I think the reason they always talk too quiet is because if they talk too loud they'll lose their "deep sexy sexy man" voice.

The sway boys sound like they're either speaking into a cup or whispering while their mom sleeps in the other room

one direction could randomly release a line of literal dish soap and you know that stuff would be sold out within the hour

WHY DID I SMILE WHEN KURTIS SAID THE TIES ARE GETTING MARRIED LIKE IT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVER???

11:47 you've contracted Dysentery

19:08 peak manipulation 🤨

Plot twist- the Sway house was just one guy duetting himself over and over, in different variations of the same “cool-guy” wig. The proof is in the pic.

I couldn't get tickets for any shows, but I'm proud that Kurtis has sold out.

Kurtis please I need a video I’m going through with drawls

Congrats on your hands getting married! They're perfect for eachother! They are blood related after all

at least episode has a character customization option. in this game you HAVE to be a pretentious, pretty, white girl who has a poc "sidekick" and falls for one of two near-identical white boys

As someone who has played episode in the past, there's no way that at least some assets were stolen, especially animations. They look almost, if not exactly the same.

2 years later and it's at 36k followers.🤦🏾‍♀️

S-short W-window A-abnotmaly Y-yogurt

“We’ll see who she really be seein’…” The awkwardness of that statement lets me know he 100% doesn’t talk like that IRL

If I were better at coding, I would totally make 'The Kurtis Chronicles'. It would be just like Mario, except every time you go to jump on a Goomba, you have to give Kurtis a dollar. Or sign up for the subscription plan, only $5/hour

It still cracks me up that the 'playing the actual game' segment of this video is SO much shorter than the lore recap

you saying "sorry I'm talking to much" is actually hilarious because we're all here to listen to you talk kurty

One Direction: The Board Game, except the only members who are actually playable in the game/appear on the box are like Liam and Louis

I can’t believe you’re a “that guy” guy, I’m such a “this guy” dude.. damn heart broken

what the sway house stands for: Sgrowth Wbrotherhood Acontent creation Y

"sorry i'm talking so much..." Kurtis this is a commentary channel

Every time Kurtis names a sway boy I take it on absolute faith that he's not just making up a random name because I would never know.

okay but josh saying “well see-well see who she really be seeing at this party” in the most monotone voice is the funniest fckin thing ever

2023 and it still hasn’t reached 50k

I'm just cracking up at the image of an under-paid Japanese mobile game dev who had to go to work at playco in a pandemic to write lines like "I've been waiting hours for you to wake up... now SPILL! What happened last night?!"

kurtis' curly mullet is fucking incredible he looks amazing

”tap here to unlock the icu” kurtis you are killing me

“FIRST ONE IN THE POOL GETS TO TALK TO HER FIRST” oh my god I finally deciphered it

It's been 1 yr and there's only 38.4k followers...i guess well never get to know what really happened at that party

anybody else notice how kurtis’ jokes are so much stronger?? like i’m pissing and shitting and crying about the tie jokes, they’re so well tied together

Not being on tiktok and hearing "bella porch llama tiktok trend thing" said so casually rattled my bones

0:20 oh my god i hated that so much i almost threw my laptop across the room jesus christ

16:50 that’s the ONLY reason they’re famous. What else could they possibly make a game about? lol

Disappointed he never pulled out “no sway Jose” 😔

not gonna lie, i thought the big punchline of the video was that kurtis ACTUALLY made a mobile game. which i would play the absolute shit out of

Kurtis: My hands are tied Me: *expects his hands to have string around them* Kurtis: *comps in two neck ties dangling from his hands* Me: *WHEEZE*

A year later still no episode 2. Did they ever make another one😭😂

Can't unsee Kurtis having a smaller Charlie Chaplin stache within his larger moustache

This whole, pay for the game membership indefinitely until we maybe put out another chapter or delete the app (Especially when the main followers are kids) feels kinda illegal somehow… At least like super scummy.

As a Belgian, I appreciate the beer choice at 7:56

kurtis’s josh impression is so scary accurate i can’t

Kurtis: sorry im talking so much. it’s literally your job to talk

thank you for giving o2l the credit they deserve

where did the kurt boy go i want him bac

Sway actually stands for: S - surface leather W - would you like some more nails sir A - ALPHA Y - yee yee!

i’m just generally happy that kurtis is here and making videos

Wow what a blessed day a dunk on Todd Howard in the new Kurtis video

that terribly recorded line is "first one in the pool gets to talk to her first." in case you can't tell what they're saying