how to *ACTUALLY* stop people pleasing: tips to set boundaries and get your confidence back!

  Рет қаралды 45,737

LenaLifts

LenaLifts

Күн бұрын

let my sponsor, BetterHelp, connect you to a therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home! Visit betterhelp.com/lenalifts and enjoy a special discount on your first month. If you have any questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are licensed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation model, check out this FAQ: www.betterhelp.com/your-quest...
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#peoplepleasing #confidence #healthyhabits
tags
how to be confident, how to be confident in yourself, how to be healthy, how to transform yourself, how to get out of slump, getting my life together, how to be that girl, that girl routine, self improvement, confidence tips, how to be feminine, lucky girl syndrome, lucky girl energy, self help advice, motivation, productive days in my life, that girl routine, living alone diaries, productive routine, my routine, 5am morning routine, productive morning routine, productive morning routine 5am, realistic morning routine, gym morning routine, getting out of a slump, how i get motivated, morning routine 2022, wake up early with me, week of workouts, 6am morning routine, early morning routine, morning routine in nyc, healthy habits, living alone, living alone diaries, living alone in nyc, productive day, productive days in my life, living alone diaries, realistic day in my life, productive day in my life, living in nyc, 7am morning routine, motivation, main character, main character energy, how to be confident, main character playlist, workout motivation, how to get motivated, routine morning, productive morning, productive day vlog, morning motivation, morning routines aesthetic, glute workout, leg workout, how to grow your glutes, how to get into a routine, how to have a productive routine, how to get motivation, workout motivation, living alone in nyc, nyc apartment, apartment tour, living alone, living alone diaries, living alone in nyc, productive day, productive days in my life, living alone diaries, realistic day in my life, productive day in my life, living in nyc, empty apartment tour, living alone for the first time, be productive with me, productive and realistic day in my life, nyc day in my life, apartment decor, workout with me, glute workout, booty workout, leg workout, how to grow your glutes, nyc vlog, be productive with me, healthy habits, romanticize your life, in my feminine era, feminine energy, new york city vlog, productive days in my life, productive routine, week of workouts, grwm gym, what i eat in a day healthy, resetting, res``1 et sunday routine, reset morning routine, realistic routine, realistic day in my life, nyc apartment, nyc apartment tour, living in nyc, living alone, living alone in nyc, living alone diaries, weekly vlog, aesthetic routine, motivation tips, motivation hacks, healthy hacks
timecodes:
0:00 - intro
0:47 - the root cause of people pleasing
3:00 - characteristics of a people pleaser
6:12 - therapy
7:50 - how to set boundaries
8:00 - when to set boundaries
8:46 - practice in a safe space
10:09 - deal with your fear
11:20 - you are the main character act like it
12:32 - take stock of your needs
13:49 - set clear boundaries
14:13 - stop taking things personally

Пікірлер: 241
@LindaThao
@LindaThao 9 күн бұрын
Girlie needs a podcast already!! 💗🤭🫶🏼
@ramblingrishika
@ramblingrishika 9 күн бұрын
Yes pls
@larabajic6714
@larabajic6714 9 күн бұрын
She realy does need i love you Lena❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥🇷🇸🇷🇸🎊🎊
@swarangimohite6907
@swarangimohite6907 8 күн бұрын
Yes
@lauraavila5674
@lauraavila5674 8 күн бұрын
I was looking for it in youtube music 😂😂😂❤❤
@Arty_Phoenixxx
@Arty_Phoenixxx 7 күн бұрын
Frr❤
@NIJAAHH
@NIJAAHH 9 күн бұрын
I finally stopped people pleasing a year ago and best decision of my life. It shows you who are real and who isn’t.
@ko_grindz
@ko_grindz 9 күн бұрын
You can’t please everyone all the time. Sometimes you just got to follow your own instincts. Love this❤
@olivia_olona
@olivia_olona 9 күн бұрын
LOVE IT: when you set boundaries with others, you are BEING NICE to yourself, NOT mean to them. You are being the most considerate persone you can be by setting healthy boundaries, not being mean or rude at all. If those people love you, they are going to like you even more and appreciate your honesty.
@lenalifts
@lenalifts 8 күн бұрын
so well said !! couldnt have said it better ❤
@Luna-Lovegood2003
@Luna-Lovegood2003 9 күн бұрын
We’re considered to be an angel when we care about the others rather than ourselves, on the contrary, we’re thought to be the most selfish person in the world even if we make a little thing for our own benefit.
@Inspiredamongstthechaos
@Inspiredamongstthechaos 9 күн бұрын
Even in my 40's I have to check myself and make sure I'm setting those healthy boundaries! It's tough when you think the people that would be cheering you on, are the ones that are smack-talking.
@aliaamohamed7255
@aliaamohamed7255 9 күн бұрын
Lena + long video= heaven of my hell 💗😭
@michaelperfect
@michaelperfect 9 күн бұрын
Hi Lena! I’ve been doing the “then what” method and i noticed that I’ve been less anxious and more confident. I didn’t overthink like I used to. I’m serious this has changed my life❤️ I’ve been a people pleaser my entire life but no more! this year we stop being doormats 😅
@tannehjah3896
@tannehjah3896 9 күн бұрын
omg being hurt for days over strangers being mean to you FOR NO REASON!! current issue i’m talking about in therapy.. It felt so good hearing you talk about it. Thanks. AND tipping a person who just pulls your drink because you’re scared how they will think about you. thanks for validating this some more
@lenalifts
@lenalifts 8 күн бұрын
you are HEARD ❤
@user-fq7gm7bo3t
@user-fq7gm7bo3t 9 күн бұрын
Lena, I've been watching you for a year now and I can't describe how much you changed my life 😭🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 I love you, May God bless you ❤
@lenalifts
@lenalifts 8 күн бұрын
trust me when I say that YOU have changed MINE! ❤❤
@emilykbd
@emilykbd 9 күн бұрын
letting go of people pleasing was the best decision of my healing journey. we love a boundary queen 🌟
@lenalifts
@lenalifts 8 күн бұрын
couldnt agree more!! ❤
@RikaMe2000
@RikaMe2000 9 күн бұрын
I would be lying if I said I haven't been waiting for Lena to drop a new video all week because I MOST DEFINITELY HAVE! 😁 Sending loads of positivity from this side of the world 🥰
@patriciatrevino5391
@patriciatrevino5391 9 күн бұрын
Whew! The way this bounced on that nerve for me….i look back at my life and just see these periods where i didnt show myself love. Its heartbreaking to see of myself. ❤
@KiuniBunni
@KiuniBunni 7 күн бұрын
AAAHHH! The fact that I was literally procrastinating on this video because I was scared that I was going to realize my friends aren't real friends- is crazy!... I appreciate you and your vids so much! ❤I love you tysm for these vids, it helps me so much!
@harmonioussteak
@harmonioussteak 9 күн бұрын
I’ve had so many good friendships but even more bad friendships due to my people pleasing, thank you for speaking on this. Also the tip thing because girl, it’s getting out of hand with tipping people who are genuinely not doing that much
@lenalifts
@lenalifts 8 күн бұрын
RIGHT??? like they are asking for tip on things that I dont even think is necessary
@spititout12
@spititout12 9 күн бұрын
"Thank goodness, for once I don't belong to the club of people-pleasing. People found me rude initially, but in the end, it all makes a difference. Practicing boundaries doesn't mean they are rude, mean, or selfish. It just means that they are selectively social, which is completely alright. They still help people normally."
@user-eb2qr3of4m
@user-eb2qr3of4m 9 күн бұрын
OUR QUEEN HAS POSTED, YALL GWT UP!!
@poppycalliope
@poppycalliope 9 күн бұрын
You called out my younger self in this video and I'm here for this 😂 excellent video Lena! It's so true that people pleasers can think that they are just nice people when in reality they are harming their selves 💔 whenever I realize that i might act like a people pleaser now I think of myself as the young girl I was and i protect her, i stand up for her! Thank you for talking about this Lena ❤
@lenalifts
@lenalifts 8 күн бұрын
yesss heavy on showing up for your younger self i love that!! ❤❤
@kennedydigitals
@kennedydigitals 9 күн бұрын
Setting boundaries is the hardest part for me😭 i'm getting so much better as i am getting older can't wait to be my best self. Great video per usual💛
@LavrKate
@LavrKate 9 күн бұрын
Wow. I understood, that I’m people pleasing. I thought, that I’m just intelligent. Thanks for this video! I will change my life❤❤❤
@magueysunset
@magueysunset 9 күн бұрын
Guilt and shame are a big factor. I remember that meditation book called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniels helping me a lot.
@K-pop_Core122
@K-pop_Core122 8 күн бұрын
i didn't know i was a full on people pleaser until i saw this video, thank u so much for this video ❤
@isabellelapointe5137
@isabellelapointe5137 3 күн бұрын
As an adopted asian, i felt this from A to Z! Just discovered your videos recently and i fell in love with it! Love the content 🥹🫶🏽
@user-qd6tu1mk6t
@user-qd6tu1mk6t 9 күн бұрын
I was waiting for lena's videos so badly 🥺🤗💗
@wantenglish
@wantenglish 9 күн бұрын
Omg i just have the best day thanks to you!!😭💗
@emilyfrost9307
@emilyfrost9307 9 күн бұрын
This channel gives me so much motivation, love this ❤
@spookylilraee
@spookylilraee 9 күн бұрын
I needed this so bad, thanks for the serotonin babes
@wallflower777
@wallflower777 9 күн бұрын
Lena!!! So glad you posted ❤
@KerenLokembo-xw1xh
@KerenLokembo-xw1xh 9 күн бұрын
Thank you Lena for always looking out for all of us 💖💖💖
@sUrFbOaRd31
@sUrFbOaRd31 9 күн бұрын
Thank you so so much for this! I have always been a HUGE people pleaser so this is a life saver.
@nancypenaloza974
@nancypenaloza974 9 күн бұрын
Lena Have A Wonderful Weekend Girl!! ✨✨✨✨
@OfficiallyTalia
@OfficiallyTalia 9 күн бұрын
Girl stop I love you !! I’m a people pleaser and I’m finally trying to put my foot down and set boundaries !! This video is perfect timing !! 🥺🥺 ! Thank you for sharing and helping ! You inspire me sm fav KZfaqr fr 🥹💗
@nattie9571
@nattie9571 9 күн бұрын
My Friday just got better, thank you Lena!!! ☺️
@primarievelasco
@primarievelasco 8 күн бұрын
you are so real for this, lena! love watching your vlogs
@theinfinitebeingg
@theinfinitebeingg 5 күн бұрын
I'm not a people pleaser anymore but i still watched the whole video because i love you😭🎀
@VasundharaChhetri
@VasundharaChhetri 9 күн бұрын
Wake up from sleep, QUEEN LENA posted ✨✨🌝
@SelmaL-kp5bs
@SelmaL-kp5bs 9 күн бұрын
Your channel is a life changer❤❤
@KelseyLang-fn2gd
@KelseyLang-fn2gd 9 күн бұрын
Hiii Lena I love you so much!!❤ and your videos are the best!!
@ahantasiaewing12
@ahantasiaewing12 9 күн бұрын
i personaly have a very hard time with people pleasing and this has helped me a lot ❣
@uniquelymj5400
@uniquelymj5400 8 күн бұрын
Bestie you have no idea how much I needed this!💜
@marysollopez01
@marysollopez01 8 күн бұрын
Love you Lena ❤ keep the videos coming!
@camiilacs
@camiilacs 7 күн бұрын
your videos make me reflect on myself sm and i love that about them, ily queeeen
@coolazn1997
@coolazn1997 9 күн бұрын
Just wrote in my journal for the full moon, this was so affirming! Great advice sis 🫶🏽
@SheilaAnneManzano
@SheilaAnneManzano 8 күн бұрын
new subscriber here! i binged watch all your vlogs 3 weeks till now. thanks for these self relatable vlogs! love u!
@Aanya4J-gn8jz
@Aanya4J-gn8jz 7 күн бұрын
Thank you soo muchh for this!! Gurl u r one the reasons I am soo confident tday!!
@vibe_of_leah
@vibe_of_leah 9 күн бұрын
i really wanna thank you for that positive energy you spread through your channel, and for making me more confident since i started following some of your tips, your video literally made my day, i always watch your videos to motivate me, and since i started watching you, i started working out and changed my mindset , i really appreciate your efforts, love you very much.. and will support you forever
@SarahCamacho-b6e
@SarahCamacho-b6e 9 күн бұрын
You have helped me so much because I would always surround myself with people who didn't care about me and would always make me feel like I don't belong and make fun of me and I would always laugh with them and say positive things about them and would do stuff for them and never complain and because I was Mexican they would tell me to go back to the border and go back to eating tacos and everything like that, but ever since I found you I surround myself with people who care for me and help me now I'm graduating elementary school THANK YOU LENAA ❤❤✨✨🔥🔥
@sampadapimpalgaonkar4816
@sampadapimpalgaonkar4816 9 күн бұрын
Omg I actually searched for the channel and it showed 1 minute ago, missed youuuuuuu girllllll. Love and hugs ❤❤
@alizamujawar7829
@alizamujawar7829 9 күн бұрын
i was eagerly waiting for you to post i lit watched all of them💗💗💗
@cassi26
@cassi26 8 күн бұрын
You are my biggest inspiration! Thank you Lena ❤
@jessavelalcantara8168
@jessavelalcantara8168 9 күн бұрын
Just woke up from my sleep!And got excited cause our queen finally posteeed!!!❤
@adiaskyquintana344
@adiaskyquintana344 9 күн бұрын
Watching your videos made me get a morning and night routine and it has being amazing, I started going to the gym in the morning at 4:30 because I enter work at 7 and I get to job in a good mood and feeling great, thank you so much and I appreciate your videos ❤
@Annasvlogs7676
@Annasvlogs7676 9 күн бұрын
Lena I love ur videos and ever sense I started watching I felt like a brand new person so TYSM
@honeybunnybunny1958
@honeybunnybunny1958 8 күн бұрын
Thank you !!! I struggled with a lot of this ❤
@tenyshaji9647
@tenyshaji9647 6 күн бұрын
this video has OPENED my eyes omg! definitely going to work on these thanks so much Lena!!! 💗
@Ayyli_a
@Ayyli_a 9 күн бұрын
Lena am grateful that I know ur channel im literally learning so much thinks when i watch your videos I feel so much amazing I can practice English (English is not my first language) I can understand myself much more. Thank you for being here for us love you 💕
@tabithasr
@tabithasr 7 күн бұрын
I haven’t been watching you since the beginning but I’m so proud of your growth and you motivate me
@ze_multistan_Jay
@ze_multistan_Jay 9 күн бұрын
THE QUEEN HAS POSTED! ❤ sorry i’m late love you Lena♥️♥️♥️
@elzaocean
@elzaocean 8 күн бұрын
Incredible video as always, thank you ❤
@irina.pepper
@irina.pepper 7 күн бұрын
Lena this is so real and raw and we appreciate you for sharing 💞 so proud of you for doing the work and being the best you!!! Love you
@KateElise-florals
@KateElise-florals 9 күн бұрын
Lena , just one word : thankyou !😭 I'm 17 this Yr and l really needed to hear this! God bless you!
@georgiana3127
@georgiana3127 9 күн бұрын
It opened my mind, thank you
@wonypooh
@wonypooh 9 күн бұрын
great reminder, thank u
@BoyWithGoals
@BoyWithGoals 2 күн бұрын
Just wow , this is the best video on this topic . I really needed this ❤
@user-so1lx3wh6u
@user-so1lx3wh6u 6 күн бұрын
I am who I am, I'm never going to change and I don't live my life to please anyone. Confidence is always attractive and That's great. Thank you very much for sharing your knowledge with us, You're very wise and You're so gorgeous. 👏👏👏👍
@Selinegilmez
@Selinegilmez 8 күн бұрын
I was pleasing dor over like 5 years and maybes more. I have stugled a lot with friendship’s a lot and I lost my self in so many friendship’s. I found few friendship’s that I could really feel me. As I do still have friendship’s that I found hard to get out of this video really just helped me realize a lot of things that would be to much to write about. Thank you, love you. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@samantharamsoondar4552
@samantharamsoondar4552 8 күн бұрын
Girllll u are God sent. Swear you hit that spot with this video. I so needed this because I recently had a confrontation with a sibling and she told me off and blame me for things I had no control of. And I realize it wasn't me it was her. She has issues that she never dealt with. And since that I just said enough and tool myself away from her. Not because ur blood means u take crap from them. So thanks hun I needed this 😊😊
@RiyaRoy-nq2bm
@RiyaRoy-nq2bm 9 күн бұрын
Queen posted ❤ love u girl,✨😊
@ditipriyamukherjee3503
@ditipriyamukherjee3503 9 күн бұрын
Lena is THAT girl for me,she inspires me with my workout consistency ,healthy mindset,planning,working towards goals and lifestyle,hope you hit a milli real soon❤
@ozatanvi
@ozatanvi 7 күн бұрын
I absolutely love watching your videos! They're my perfect Sunday breakfast watch. 🥞 Sending you so much love ❤ & wishing you the best week ever! 🌟
@Solar_Storm333
@Solar_Storm333 9 күн бұрын
The queen has posted again
@c.lineofficial
@c.lineofficial 9 күн бұрын
Hi Lena. With much love, if better help actually helps you, more power to you. But please just be aware that there are so many other people who have had bad experiences with better help. And it is to the point where it’s actually very very bad. This is why people don’t like when creators promote better help. Keep doing what you’re doing, though! You’re a great content creator in my opinion. I kinda grapple with people pleasing too, but I know I shouldn’t let it stop me anymore this year. I can see when others are wrong, but I need to keep helping them. I also worked on asking for help more this past college semester, and I’m thankful that you touched on this topic! You hit lots of things I used to battle with in the past years and go in depth, and I need these reminders! Thank you so much for what you do!
@MonikaTripathi0609
@MonikaTripathi0609 9 күн бұрын
Loving your content. Keep rocking Sis✨ Your videos are addictive! Binge watching your videos whenever I get some time & eagerly wait for your new videos.
@alexjansenvanvuuren
@alexjansenvanvuuren 4 күн бұрын
Thank you Lena so much this video helped so much ❤❤
@reethikarapolu521
@reethikarapolu521 9 күн бұрын
People have accused me of a mistake that I did not make. I've done my best to explain things to them, but they weren't paying attention. I lost those relationships, and then this video came up. Thanks a ton, Lena!
@user-ke4jt9wv5r
@user-ke4jt9wv5r 9 күн бұрын
Girl u inspire me to become the best version of myself ❤❤
@richa_anurag
@richa_anurag 9 күн бұрын
Lena, these self-help videos demonstrate how versatile and articulate and intelligent you are. Literally brains and beauty baby!! ❤
@vaybedumb
@vaybedumb 9 күн бұрын
needed thisss
@my_name_is_arte
@my_name_is_arte 8 күн бұрын
I've been so hurt by so many people in my life. At some point I just stopped caring.
@JeeyaHussain
@JeeyaHussain 9 күн бұрын
Girl, you called me out. I've been trying hard to stop the people-pleasing this past year and your video has hit all the right spots. Thank you for your advice, especially the 'then what?' questions!!! loved this video so much. You always inspire me to be better :)
@joudassaf7594
@joudassaf7594 9 күн бұрын
Your videos give me a pretty good vibe💖💖💖
@Xoxo.Gia.
@Xoxo.Gia. 9 күн бұрын
LOVE U !! I made a video and linked you don’t know if you’ve seen it but I love you and your my inspiration ! X your fear of rejection for being Asian is my fear for being ginger . People always say brunette and blonde WHERES GINGER and a girl in my class is light strawberry blonde I am dark strawberry blonde and it kills me when people say your not strawberry blonde your ginger love u bye !
@LiaDavids
@LiaDavids 2 күн бұрын
This really showed me who is for me and who is not.
@imurage
@imurage 8 күн бұрын
Thank you Lena for this amazing content and for being consistent.Im a young teenager and I'm so grateful for your advice and I love watching your videos.❤Thank you for being the big sister I never had.Love from Kenya 🇰🇪
@juliecarter1465
@juliecarter1465 9 күн бұрын
Thank you Lena! I did this as a child too.
@lorenatrujillo7458
@lorenatrujillo7458 8 күн бұрын
I needed to hear all this, I’ve been working on myself not being a ppl pleaser and that last part about setting healthy boundaries! Girl you couldn’t have said it a better way! 🥰🥰 thank you
@Millymac777
@Millymac777 2 күн бұрын
Loved what you said about asking yourself if YOU even like the people you were people pleasing for! Those were the exact words I needed to hear this morning! Thank you lena!
@itsnece
@itsnece 8 күн бұрын
this was very helpful, thanks Lena!
@nevaehhmatthews4359
@nevaehhmatthews4359 8 күн бұрын
I literally just love Lena. Every time I watch her videos I just wanna give her a huge hug because she’s just so awesome ❤
@LizzieLouTx
@LizzieLouTx 8 күн бұрын
Great points! Thanks for sharing!
@May4XD
@May4XD 3 күн бұрын
This video just hits home for me!!! Needed this 💯❤️🥰
@chloebroom8706
@chloebroom8706 6 күн бұрын
I really needed to hear this, thank you!🙌 Also, I had similar experience happen to me a few years ago in nyc, where a random stranger shoulder checked me for no reason on the street - literally had me flying against the wall! I also froze trying to process what just a happened and why, and if confrontation was worth it. But I didn’t do anything and watched the guy walk away and not even turn around. The confrontation wasn’t worth the risk of something worse happening. I quickly realized that there was clearly something wrong with this individual and I just happened to (unfortunately) be collateral. To end a happy note tho, I’m so excited for your journal launch💖
@marccolomayt82094
@marccolomayt82094 9 күн бұрын
Stay beautiful you are. Can’t wait to listen like a podcast soon Lena❤❤this is so nice!
@appyjab
@appyjab 9 күн бұрын
This is so helpful, i agree with everything people say, thank you so much you have impacted me sooooo much❤💗
@rearearacer290
@rearearacer290 9 күн бұрын
Incredibly worded and I love your directness and putting things flat out there. TY SISTER!!
@carleetaylor5099
@carleetaylor5099 8 күн бұрын
I really needed to hear this! I have always been a people pleaser my whole life and keeping others secrets. I'm just so tired of it and hardly happy anymore. Taking this advice would help me so much in life and I've let go of doing it so far. Thank you Lena!
@Jung_Heewon
@Jung_Heewon 8 күн бұрын
Thank you so much Lena, i've been struggling with people pleasing but your video made me feel so much better. When someone asked me my preferences in music or styles i always lied to fit in with the other person because i felt like that they wouldn't like me if i tell them my real preferences and at the end of the day i felt that i was letting myself down for not being me. Thank yoe Lena love your vids! Keep going girl 💖💖💖💖
@danielacortez2786
@danielacortez2786 5 күн бұрын
This has been my fav video yet ❤
@GabyNess21
@GabyNess21 8 күн бұрын
This was more helpful than my most recent therapy sessions THANK YOU 😭👏🏼
@Laila.starrr
@Laila.starrr 9 күн бұрын
HI LENAAAAA IM SO EXCITED TO WATCH AHH
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