Q&A: Gender Envy, Childhood Regression, Family Issues, Coming Out, Anger at the Society & More.

  Рет қаралды 4,475

DR Z PHD

DR Z PHD

Күн бұрын

Our Monday Q&A with Dr Z. If you have a question please email to info@drzphd.com
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Hello Friends! I'm Dr Z, and this is a channel where I help you break free from dysphoria!
I am a clinical psychologist specializing in the transgender field, working with adults only. For the past 18 years, my work has focused on Gender Dysphoria and the formation of gender identity. I provide online therapy for residents of California, New York, Texas, and Florida. My pronouns are she/her, and you can visit my website for more info at drzphd.com/aboutdrz
👉NOTE: I work solely with adults, and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based on my experience working with adults only.
DISCLAIMER: Note that as a clinical psychologist, I created this channel to share information. Therefore, I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information and not to provide medical advice, and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information and understanding and to gain awareness.
#gender #genderdysphoria #transgender #nonbinary #genderidentity #gendertransition #gendertherapist #transhealth #transgenderwomen #transmann #enby #hormones #dysphoria #selfhelp #transformation

Пікірлер: 74
@John-lc1uq
@John-lc1uq Жыл бұрын
I came out at 67. I joined my local garden/flower club! Everyone is my age and they love giving help and advice! So positive so safe and fun fun fun ! Put yourself out there!!!
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
That's so wonderful.
@John-lc1uq
@John-lc1uq Жыл бұрын
@DRZPHD I wish more girls would realize it's not 1953. Yes where you live can matter but I find that if you aren't in ones face people couldn't care less "You have nothing to fear but fear itself" true in 1940 and still true today
@harrispinkham
@harrispinkham Жыл бұрын
Happy for you!!!
@ronaldcarson2170
@ronaldcarson2170 Жыл бұрын
Lisa CARSON
@John-lc1uq
@John-lc1uq Жыл бұрын
@@harrispinkham Thank you! Coming out and developing your "style" is difficult. Finding affirming venues isn't as difficult as I once thought.
@laurav179
@laurav179 Жыл бұрын
No childhood or very little memories is exactly what is describing my childhood and in my opinion it is the present what counts. If you do not feel comfortable presenting as your biological sex in the present moment, then you have every right to present yourself as the opposite or whatever you feel like makes you happy. I am not on hormones yet as I am in a similar position, but I take small steps towards my goal. Take time to process your feelings on the inside, you know what feels right. I am 53 and the older I become I realize how immature society actually is.
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
"Present what counts" Brilliant! Yes exactly!
@OyunnHagland
@OyunnHagland Жыл бұрын
I also live in a place (Norway) where we have to "demonstrate" our transness to get covered treatment. I've had to see a psychology specialist to assess me (4 sessions) who could then refer me to the natural treatment center (my physicians referral was rejected). They will need to see me at least 3-4 times, with 6-8 months waiting list for each appointment, before they can refer me to an endocrinologist which is another 6+ months wait. They also require a one year "real life experience" which means living as your "preferred" gender in all venues of life for at least a year. After being on HRT for a year you can be put on the waiting list for GRS which currently has a 3-4 year waiting list. The national treatment center is working hard to keep treatment monopolized even though national policy is to decentralize treatments. As you can see from the above, they are not in any way up to international standards. Still they argue that the treatments are experimental and that there is insufficient research in the field, seemingly ignoring all international sources. There are some ways to get HRT (a lot) faster, but they are few as most physicians have been scared out of providing it. It also means bearing all costs for all treatments yourself even though we have national health coverage. I'm confident I will get treatment at the end of all this, but I'm also scared I'm waiting and wasting all of this time for nothing or for substandard treatment. For context, I'm a 43 year old transwoman. I realized I was trans 13 months ago and have been out socially for 11 months.
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.
@WarMachineSSVHoldenG8
@WarMachineSSVHoldenG8 Жыл бұрын
I’m came out at 48. It saved my life . Love your videos
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
So glad you are here!!!
@dinahnicest6525
@dinahnicest6525 Жыл бұрын
I have had Venus Envy all my life. I'm 68. Been cross dressing since I was 5. Through trial and error I learned what looks good on me and what doesn't. I'm not pretty, so super sexy looks ridiculous on me, but I had to experience it and see for myself. Through years of experimentation, I found a style that feels right. I look younger than my age, so I dress like a slightly conservative 40 or 50 y.o. woman. I'm not really conservative. I just want to blend into the crowds. Sexy night gowns and slips are enough to keep me happy. (edit) I almost forgot to add a word of appreciation for all you do. Thanks! Your channel is really important to me. Thanks again.
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Venus envy. Love that. Always happy to help.
@ChrissiX
@ChrissiX Жыл бұрын
@feeling unattractive - I'm 1 year on HRT, began at 50. I am very lucky to have a great personal support network that understand me, even if they don't understand being trans. The mirror is my friend and enemy :) I never really know what I will feel when I look in the mirror. There are however, little things that always affirm. When I catch a glimpse of my shoes and skirt as I'm going down stairs. The feel of my legs when I am getting dressed. etc. Those little things add up quick. Find your little things.
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing and yes, little things add up to make big difference.
@ronaldcarson2170
@ronaldcarson2170 Жыл бұрын
Lisa CARSON
@ericfreshcorn3590
@ericfreshcorn3590 Жыл бұрын
Are You From Ohio
@laurenemilykoster7362
@laurenemilykoster7362 11 ай бұрын
I know what you mean about the mirror, but feel exactly the same when going down the stairs. Catching a glimpse of my shoes and skirt, feeling it swish, completely make up for whatever misgivings I might have when looking in the mirror. This makes a lot of sense. The mirror is static, it's just an image. But going down the stairs, everyday routines, these are actions, this is life. And catching glimpses​ of yourself as female as you live your life, do regular things, tells you that you're just another woman living her life. Now that is affirming.
@laurenemilykoster7362
@laurenemilykoster7362 11 ай бұрын
The little things, added up, tell you that you're just living your life. As you.
@chancethewizard2336
@chancethewizard2336 Жыл бұрын
these videos are a gold mine of wisdom
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Glad they are helpful.
@ronaldcarson2170
@ronaldcarson2170 Жыл бұрын
Lisa CARSON
@weebhatecrew330
@weebhatecrew330 Жыл бұрын
lipstick does look cool with nails @ dr. Z
@nikk6435
@nikk6435 Жыл бұрын
Great points about anger towards society. Zooming out helps me, learning the history of oppression (not only LGBT+ but other groups as well) really puts it into perspective. Recognizing how much of it is about politics. It's unfortunate that we are under the fire, but it's not so much about us but for politicians to get where they want while manipulating people's fears. It comes and it goes. Art is great, that is something I'm beginning to explore more. I really liked how in Netflix movie Disclosure they talked about trans art and how special it is. I think we need to create more! And feed it to AI so it will learn about our culture and diversity.
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
THanks for sharing.
@Mel-wn9gb
@Mel-wn9gb Жыл бұрын
You should look into the oppression of women and how 'gender' was and is the tool of that. This is just more of the same.
@SunIsLost
@SunIsLost Жыл бұрын
Yea
@KK-oh2ot
@KK-oh2ot Жыл бұрын
Again, really good tips and breakdown of these different (complex) topics. Just re: the anger towards society though, while I do agree that not everyone "hates" us, I think it's more the fact that the majority are- as they said- "contributing to our suffering". Because gender is so relevant in our everyday lives, cis or trans, and most people are not properly educated on/openly accepting of trans people's identities, we are all the more vulnerable to both indirect and direct harm. Ie. misgendering (intentional or not), social invalidation (eg. exclusive language, forced gender roles or even removal of gender roles as a form of othering, infantilizing), nonconsensual outing, widespread ignorance in the medical system and neglect from other necessary services, lack of governmental support etc. It's a battle for every single step of the way, even WITH social support. So when the majority of the population is stepping on you- whether they know it or not- it's not always about hate. It's that the most benign situation can still be harmful
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing.
@user-ql6db5rd1n
@user-ql6db5rd1n Жыл бұрын
I'm 51, I have not officially "come out" I've told about four people. While I'm also dealing with a lot of unresolved issues from childhood, trauma and other issues, I'm also dealing with being trans. It does feel overwhelming, but I know me. Taking small steps is important to me to ensure that I am building a strong foundation toward my goals. I feel for the one who posted that their family doesn't like them. I don't remember who said it to me but I remember being told that we are conditioned to love our family. We can let that be, but, we choose who we like. We don't have to like how family treats us, believe me, it's why I have not come out as I am certain there will be significant pushback from the branches of my family that are ultra religious. While I want to start hormones, my therapist says it's a process, I cannot even adopt the new "name" I call myself in my head .. yet. I'm working toward it and wish anyone reading this positive support and good thoughts for your journey! Dr Z thank you so much for all you do, your videos and this channel is amazing!
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear of your struggles and I wish you all the best.
@matildautz2350
@matildautz2350 Жыл бұрын
You Go Women. Yahoo! This takes Bravery and Courage. Also humer and lots of love love love. and understanding. Living authentically. while not biologically compatible with biological women. Getting close is close enough for me. For some of us the closer the better. I do say a lot of this has to do with your family medical history. Also what kind of over all health. Also your bad habits. which can be triggered by stress which should be reduced. So cut down on social media. Reduce News consumption focus on the positive. I know it easier said then done. Also practices self acceptance. If you do not accept your self how do you expect other people to? If your full of self hate. You must come too terms. Remember this is a life time journey that we as trans-women have selected for ourselves. we must forge our selves always forward. Never retreat . We just proceed slower more times than ever. Because of road blocks in our way. But we will not falter. We will proceed forward. Right now we have won a great gain. People weather pro or con. Have leaped us into the National if not international Spot light. For every negative thing that happens will help the cause. Just by keeping the conversation out their. Remember they are trying to put the cork back in the bottle. lol For every silly thing that happens or serious. The conversation is their. The only bad thing that can happen is if the conversation would stop. Right now with the things that are happening. That won't happen anytime soon , I told my activist friends that suffering for a cause you strongly believe in is a no nobler of a cause. If the cause is just to live free and be myself then so be it. FREEDOM IS NOT FREE.
@user-ql6db5rd1n
@user-ql6db5rd1n Жыл бұрын
@@matildautz2350 thank you, I do not engage in social media very much. Mostly to keep up with family, and consider social media disgusting often referring to it as the "court of public opinion". I do wish to make a slight correction and realize my post was a bit vague on myself, I'm nonbinary transmasc. I wish you well on your journey and thank you for your advice! We all need encouragement and positive influences to remind ourselves that not every person we encounter will be an obstacle. As for family, I can update that I have come out to my mother, she's has verbally accepted it, it will be my step-father that will make this difficult. Therapy is also helping recover a lot of things that have been repressed over the years, so progress (not perfection) is being achieved. It's a process and I am very grateful to my therapist and positive influences in my life to support me in this. They are few, but they are mighty!
@TheBlackKnight22
@TheBlackKnight22 28 күн бұрын
i hope you know you’re saving lives ty
@3blackbird
@3blackbird Жыл бұрын
Hi, Dr. One of the questions was mine, and while I think I may have unintentionally confused you a bit, I definitely want to thank you for taking the time and for some food for thought. Very much appreciated. 💜
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Hope it clarified some things for you.
@carterkentboi
@carterkentboi Жыл бұрын
You are the best doctor on here for me.
@carterkentboi
@carterkentboi Жыл бұрын
I think a video tying in narcissism is important to the healing process of a lot of us who are trans.
@randirosehooper8315
@randirosehooper8315 Жыл бұрын
Thank you
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
You're welcome!
@ronaldcarson2170
@ronaldcarson2170 Жыл бұрын
Lisa CARSON
@MrJoKKen
@MrJoKKen Ай бұрын
I’m intersex I can be both. There is not a split in my mind. I identify as a trans man. God blessed me with natural female parts. I dress in masculine and have male primary prosthetic and am naturally small breasted. I see myself as male but I also am happy with what I have. I prefer masculine pronouns and have no need for surgery or testosterone because I can be both. There are no rules, the main reason I don’t pursue gender affirming care is I want to keep my parts in case I get to pro create.
@Jodivalley
@Jodivalley Жыл бұрын
Don't change your style. You are gorgeous!!!!
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Aint planning on it.
@DogWalkerBill
@DogWalkerBill Жыл бұрын
Mothers: I am White. I married a Black woman. My Mother never accepted it. She would tell me, "You can visit anytime, but please don't bring your wife and kids." I didn't visit her for 30 years. People would tell me, "You're a BAD SON! You should visit your Mother!" After 30 years, I couldn't remember why. Then, "Oh, yes. I remember." My younger Sister also had a problem. She is a Conservative Christian and wanted to follow the Commandment to "Honor Your Mother and Father." But my Mother was constantly mean & abusive to her and told her to, "Go away!" Mother said she didn't want to see my Sister anymore! My Sister would go home crying after these visits. But she believed she was obligated to do them any way. Finally, her pastor told her, "If your Mother is telling you to go away, maybe you should HONOR her wishes." My Sister felt much better about not visiting Mother anymore!
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Thanks for sharing.
@armaniorleans3299
@armaniorleans3299 Жыл бұрын
i love watching your videos but i cant stop thinking of how you look and sound like edna mode from the incredibles 😭
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Well I hope you like Edna.
@ronaldcarson2170
@ronaldcarson2170 Жыл бұрын
Lisa CARSON
@ChrissiX
@ChrissiX Жыл бұрын
@coming out. Congratulations, sounds like you are in tune with your desires. I "hear" you worry about your friends POV. Maybe, be creative. Describe yourself to them as transitioning into a female cross dresser from a male cross dresser :) There are lots of personal transitions, no one needs to know, the rest is your choice.
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Great feedback, thank you.
@mellison1007
@mellison1007 18 күн бұрын
Families who abuse transgender members of their family, the failing is with the family, not the transgender member of the family. Whose life is it anyway.
@DanielleAdamstranspride
@DanielleAdamstranspride Жыл бұрын
I always been used as a scapegoat for everything the family child molester has done even before I came out. This is why we need mental health care and therapy available that is gender affirming. There is nothing currently available, the entire human race has rejected us leaving us with zero friends and people just want us gone.
@diannadav
@diannadav Жыл бұрын
I am so sorry that you are the family scapegoat. I hope you can find resources near you to help you personally. There are some sites that have directories for trans affirming care. I think Dr. Z has some as well. And yes we are the target of many right wing groups now more than ever, but we need to find allies and stay strong. We cannot let the haters win.
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear that.
@katyldr
@katyldr Жыл бұрын
What sort of accent is this? It makes all this non-sense even more gibberish 🤓🧐😵‍💫
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Russian! One of the best kinds!
@placeadrien5566
@placeadrien5566 Жыл бұрын
@@DRZPHD Very cool accent
@mrmars9195
@mrmars9195 Жыл бұрын
​@DRZPHD the best of the best 😊❤
@SunIsLost
@SunIsLost Жыл бұрын
@@DRZPHD nice /)
@SunIsLost
@SunIsLost Жыл бұрын
@@DRZPHD one of the most based Russians.
@yvonne-transitioning
@yvonne-transitioning Жыл бұрын
Great Q&A. I came out as trans female when I was 65. I had my bottom surgery when I was 68. I am a quiet and somewhat shy person. Before I started my social transition I was scared of the idea about presenting my self as female. Once I started my hrt I lost all fear of going out in public. Hrt did not cure my fear, The hormones did give me some confidence. I stopped trying to please other people. When I look in the mirror after I do my makeup, put on some classic style womens attire I am pleased with what I see. I know I will never pass , that is my goal. I am focused on doing the best I can to appear female
@DRZPHD
@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын
Don't say "I will never pass" trust me, I have seen everything being possible and a lot of times it is a state of mind.
@SunIsLost
@SunIsLost Жыл бұрын
@@DRZPHD yea
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