Q&A: On Religion, Feeling Confused, Transition Decision, Switching Therapists, Body Dysmorphia vs GD

Рет қаралды 2,178

Күн бұрын

Today, we cue into the weekly Monday Q&A where I answer your direct and specific questions related to gender dysphoria.
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TIMESTAMPTS
00:00 Intro
01:25 Religion and gender
06:50 Gender dysphoria/gender role/ gender expression confusion
13:07 Transition or postpone it?
16:06 Should I switch counselors?
22:25 Body dysmorphia vs gender dysphoria
#gender #therapy #selfhelp
👉NOTE: I work solely with adults and all video content is marked for adults only. As such, the information shared is based from experience working with adults only.
🙋‍♀️Hello! My name is Natalia Zhikhareva known as Dr Z in transgender community and I am a clinical psychologist or gender therapist, specializing in transgender field and I work with adults only. I provide online therapy for California, New York, Texas and Florida residents. My pronouns are she/her and you can visit my website for more info at drzphd.com/aboutdrz
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😀DISCLAIMER: Note as a clinical psychologist I created this channel to share information. Therefore I won't be providing or offering therapeutic advice. I am also not a medical doctor. When I speak on medical issues such as hormones or surgical procedures, the goal is to share information, and not to provide medical advice and you should always consult with your medical doctor. Additionally, this channel is for those seeking information, understanding, and to gain awareness.

Пікірлер: 49

@Maelstrome123 Жыл бұрын

My time as a Christian was the worst in my life. The hateful indoctrination I grew up in kept me in the closet until 29. I still struggle with religious trauma.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

I am so sorry to hear that. Sounds horrible.

@user-tn6zb3pq5l Жыл бұрын

I have the same fight

@FrozEnbyWolf150 Жыл бұрын

Not knowing the difference between dysmorphia vs. dysphoria held me back for many years. It turns out I have both, and they interacted in unexpected ways. I was overweight for most of my life, which led to obvious body image issues. My weight problems were due to depression and the medications that came with it. Yet unbeknownst to me, the depression stemmed largely from gender dysphoria in the first place. It wasn't until I managed to lose some of that weight that I could better see my underlying features. Being thinner gave me a more feminine figure, which was a strange thought for someone who thought they were cis. I realized I might have been subconsciously trying to hide this fact all along by staying overweight. I consider the self care and weight management to be the first step of my medical transition. It was the least I could do for myself, after all.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

I think starting with weight and self care for many is crucial.

@mercy2351 Жыл бұрын

I have studied multiple religious traditions, and there are many expert trans perspectives that can be found in multiple religions, with many respected trans scholars and trans clergy members. If someone wants to be religious, please look for a supportive community that will love you for who you are. (And by supportive, I mean that everyone deserves a 100% supportive community, not some half-hearted fake support. I mean 100% support, like the kind Dr. Z provides.)

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Totally agree! There is no need to be stuck with community that places restrictions on who you are.

@ChrissiX Жыл бұрын

Q on transition delay ... of course DrZ is right on; find a local therapist, take your time and try them out. I had no idea in my late 20s. I believed all my issues were bi-polar and possibly sexual preference confusion. Had I only known :) .... 20 years and two lifetimes later, I transitioned (at 50). For most, I believe it only gets harder to socially transition the older you get, for M2F it certainly effects the possible results of HRT alone. I have no idea how I would feel now if I transitioned earlier ... but I DO know ... I would have never been this happy/comfortable/complete as a default state if I had never transitioned. Take your time, it is easy to fool yourself into anything. Age brings the stability and experience to see more clearly; however those same things make it harder and harder to actually make a change. The older you get the more disruption in the rest of your life it may cause. You're milage may vary ;) As with many things in life, you probably won't REALLY know until you are halfway to the finish line.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Agree that age can make things harder. I also have seen where it makes it easier as the person realizes there is so much life left.

@sams732 Жыл бұрын

Good advice regarding separating gender identity from gender expression and gender roles! Thank you!

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Yes I think that’s very important.

@ChrissiX Жыл бұрын

Thank you to everyone who asks questions. The Q&As are excellent because they are asked in terms that everyday people can relate too. I personally appreciate the clinical "style" for it's precision (in terms of language), but hearing everyday questions I would have never thought to ask myself ... Wonderful.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Glad to hear the Q&A are helpful. I too love filming them!

@hobosarepeopletoo Жыл бұрын

Love you Dr Z!

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Love you back!

@user-tn6zb3pq5l Жыл бұрын

Real good Q&A !

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it!

@andrearivera6311 Жыл бұрын

Hi Dr. Z, I’m currently going through a divorce at 42 and living alone. I’m supposed to start HRT possibly next week yet I still feel like I have moments where I have doubts about my gender identity. I thought I was a trans female but I find myself still using one of my coping mechanisms and feeling disappointed afterwards, though not as bad as it used to be but now questioning if I really am trans or not directly after. I have been centering myself with the question “if I took a pill how would I like to wake up?” and the answer is still female, but I sometimes wonder if I’m just headed in the wrong path and it’s just because I don’t want to have lost the love of my life for no reason. I feel very confused. At times I can’t look at a female without wishing I looked like them, and other times I question if I really dislike being a man considering I don’t feel discomfort towards my masculinity. I don’t feel I have ever been disgusted with my body, I’ve always just wished I looked like a woman. Please advise.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Great question, added to Q&A.

@BiancaTallarico Жыл бұрын

Thank you. My identity is female, but I present mostly masculine. Love wearing my band tees with jeans. Love to wear such things with makeup too. People were giving me a hard time with that which was making me feel I wasn't feminine enough. My small LGBT community tends to be conservative and have transmedicalists in it unfortunately.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing. You may enjoy the video coming out this Thursday on gender identity vs. role vs expression.

@neowolf09 Жыл бұрын

So i wanted to share that ive been wrestling with is it true is it not true if its true how true is it ect for a long time, after watching a bunch of your videos and understanding better i'm finally realize something that had been making me miserable in my life and what it was all that time, it was killing me never understanding these feelings and i just get this huge feeling of relief finally knowing, i feel almost entirely relieved of my doubts. 99.99% sure now. its like when i look in the mirror and feel the dysphoria looking at the bone structure of my face, normally when i didnt know what it was, not only was it this terrible feeling, but from out of nowhere. so i think that understanding where the feeling comes from has actually slightly helped. i still feel the dysphoria, but i know why im feeling it now, i can look into my eyes and see my feminine soul or energy or whatever you would call it. im not sure what im trying to say exactly other than knowing and understanding these feelings more certainly feels better than wondering and trying to deny and hide them.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best.

@mydreamsnow4135 Жыл бұрын

Hi Dr Z. I've mentioned before that I know I've been living with gender dysphoria my entire life. And I understand it more each day because of the work you put into your presentations. I've begun to look for a therapist, but I have a question about that. When it's determined that I do have dysphoria, wouldn't it be better for me to just begin with a gender psychiatrist? Because therapists and psychologists cannot prescribe medication. Thoughts? Thanks. Amber

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Hi Amber, I am going to go ahead and answer this here since I feel time might be of the essence to you. I would not seek a psychiatrist and I doubt you'd find a gender one at that. Psychiatrists have a medical degree and are other to prescribe psych meds, not hormones! Here are a few things for you to consider: 1. Depending on where you reside, you may not need to see a therapist prior to hormones. 2. If that's the case and if you feel ready to start and don't think you need therapy, this might be a step for you. 3. If you do need therapist letter to start hormones, find a therapist or a gender therapist if you can. 4. Hormones are prescribed by medical provider, and best to find a gender-affirming clinic or a doctor that know what they are doing. If you have any questions or how to find, please just email me at natalia@drzphd.com

@ChrissiX Жыл бұрын

@@DRZPHD I can, but had difficulty going direct to a endocrinologist, I changed to a different Primary Care Dr. and she made all the difference. My therapist was really only there to help me navigate the changes, not to initiate them.

@mydreamsnow4135 Жыл бұрын

@@DRZPHD THANK YOU SO MUCH! I'm so glad to receive your response. This will become my new foundation moving forward. I have researched the clinics mentioned, and in Illinois they are legal, and some provide a gender therapist. I am hoping a low dose HRT will at least alleviate my chronic anxiety and depression, and I can move forward from there. I'd like to thank you Dr. Z because I finally feel as though I can head in the right direction after years of listening to so many testimonies, writing, questioning, trying to remember dos and don'ts, etc. I'd also like to extend my appreciation to Bri, ChrissiX, and JaneChristiansen for sharing their experiences, knowledge and heartfelt feelings with me. I promise to keep this conversation trail going as my journey progresses.

@rockmega1209 Жыл бұрын

Hi Dr. Z, I have a question kind of related to one in this video. While I'm not religious, at least not anymore, my family is still very passionately involved in their religion. It's almost across the board; my parents, most of my siblings, basically my whole extended family on all sides is involved in a religion that is famously and explicitly anti-LGBTQ+. Do you have any advice for interacting with them once I'm out and transitioning? I would be the only LGBTQ+ person in the entire family, at least as far as I'm aware, and I almost never hear them talk about it, so I don't have any precedent as to how they would react. I don't want to have to distance myself from them, especially my parents and siblings, but I'm afraid that's what I'll have to do for the sake of my own mental health.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Thank you for posting your question. I will make sure to answer in Q&A.

@Aisaiah61 Жыл бұрын

I am interested in pursuing my masters in therapy, specifically gender therapy. Do you have any recommendations for schools or other guidance you could offer?

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Hi, thats so amazing! Awesome! I would suggest looking at grad programs you are interested in and seeing which ones have gender studies. If they don't and you still want to go through program, thats fine too, just get additional training through places such as WPATH. My doctorate school was depth oriented program focused on works of Freud, Jung, Woodman, Hillman etc., There was no gender studies so I did and still do a lot of on the side learning. It never stops. Reading as much as you can and taking workshops and attending gender conferences. Most importantly, working with gender diverse population to get real life experiences. I wish you all the best!

@JAMIEB22649 Жыл бұрын

I relate to the second question in ways but I realized that who says I can't be my agab and a different one. There is something called bigender and I can be any 2 genders including male which matches my sex and being demi-female. 😃

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Yes you can.

@BCSchmerker Жыл бұрын

+DRZPHD *Concerning the gender-confusion question Time **06:50**:* As a cismale autist, I am a de facto nonbinary who sees no cause, why he should present as nonbinary. My feminine side I treat as an advisor on materials intended for a future wife.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing.

@ErrinHarwell-lr1ys Жыл бұрын

Hey Dr. Z i have been on unemployment for 4 months now going on 5. I have a master’s degree in architecture and i get interviews and im told I interviewed well but im constantly ghosted and i fear its bc im in the south and im a transwoman. I dont know what else to do.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Hi, I am so sorry to hear of your challenges. I would encourage you not to jump to conclusions this is happening as a result of your gender identity, although it could be. Perhaps considering companies that are more inclusive would help. I hope you will be able to find employment soon.

@vanessaherandshe7518 Жыл бұрын

gender dysphoria seems like a result of gender identity misaligned. Is there any research or info into the neurological side and Gender dysphoria? .I have a neurological issue(s) that affects how I processes the world. Learning disorders, autism ,

@Maelstrome123 Жыл бұрын

Yes. There is research being done on a neurological origin for gender inconguence.

@Phoenixryu Жыл бұрын

The Bible, Christianity, and religion, in general, don't really offer much on the subject of Transsexualism. There are some passages that are very difficult for a person of certain influences to reconcile though. I've struggled with my religion quite often and come to my own conclusions. I'm not sure how to phrase this without causing any issues but you can either follow your religion or God's path or you can follow yourself which is in a religious context, Satanism. I believe there is a way to reconcile both desires but unfortunately in order to do so some churches have turned to heresy through a reinterpretation of the scriptures/gospel. What is the answer? I'm not skilled enough to say, sadly. I feel confused all the time. I just try to live as realistically as possible. Lately, I've been trying very hard to think more critically about my feelings etc and more four-dimensionally as well. Accepting what it is I'm really feeling has made life a bit more bearable and thinking ahead more has relieved some stressors. The last therapist I had was very accepting of my position but I always felt that she had better things to do than deal with my sessions. Maybe it was because I tried Better Help instead of in person but I think I was more relieved that my time package expired than the relief I got from talking to them. It just didn't work for me and I probably should have used their option to switch...

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing.

@eddi9577 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for another informative and great video! I have a question for this series, related a bit with dysmorphia x dysphoria one. For transmasculine people: How can one tell, if they're transmasc OR has a internalized misogyny? I struggled with this personally myself, thinking I hate to be a woman because of the whole patriarchy s**t and was coping as a radical feminist, until I realized I'm actually trans in my 40. Still I'm confronted with this question from around. Maybe it has to do something with the teen ftm boom, which I understand seems suspicious. Though I'm sure about myself by now and transitioning, I would like to see your POV.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

great question, added to Q&A

@matildautz2350 Жыл бұрын

Ok Folks #1 God gave us free will God gives forgiveness by his grace . For he who is last shall be first in the kingdom of God. We are dead last I guess. Also being Trans or LBGTQ+ Is not the greatest of sins. It’s like a speeding ticket. So religious shaming. Is practiced by those who forget how AWSOME GODs Love IS. God knows your heart. You can’t hide from God. If he wanted you dead for who or what you are. You would of been dead by NOW. Pray for Guideance from God . Not from others that tell you what GOD thinks. Remember God is all things. If this is true he could be Trans. Or a Women. he is omnivorous. Does god get teased or bullied for this or shamed for being GOD. NOPE!! Their are quotes in the Bible that man should not be with man. Well I don’t think that reaches the charts as being very serious. People just like to make things, political people love the shame to control you. As I see it no big deal. As far as going fourth and multiply. Was there a big deal at the time? Nope, so I think a big chill out is in order as a trans woman. I am not out to destroy the world. Their is one thing I have noticed about the LBGTQ+ community. Is that it is very diverse politically. It is very diverse in opinion. Everybody seems to want to put LBGTQ+ All in the same box . Nope!! Won’t work.

@DRZPHD Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing.

@matildautz2350 Жыл бұрын

Good News Dr. Z Went shopping for a complete new women’s wardrobe, still have more to do. JCP had a or has a huge sale. My lady friend that I love as a sister took me out. Shoes jewelry ECT . It’s still sinking in. I’ve finally achieved what I set out to do. Now the dysphoria is not that intense anymore. Their is concern about taking estrogen.. But I’m eating healthier hope to maintain a safe weight so I can proceed. My fellow Trans Folks it took me 61 years to get to this point. Just push social transitioning.. No matter What. You will always be pushing what is the average behavior of the cis society. Which is largely Supremist in nature. Remember, we are like the Rodney Dangerfield s we get no respect at all I’m telling you. Do you know if you can’t find employment, consider starting your own business.