I despise being a single baby mother. It is hard and depressing but my child is 7. I grew and I have been learning. I made my bed and now have to live in it. Please don’t have kids unless your equally yoked. ❤️

I’m so glad I don’t have children at the age of 30. I’ve seen first hand how single motherhood affects our community. This girl I know has 5 children with a bum and the children are MISERABLE. She used to tell me “I need to hurry up and have kids.” Nah I’m good. I’m waiting until I’m married and I’m not changing my mind!!!

If we as black people focused as much attention on getting an education and learning a viable job skill or trade as we do on pursuing sexual pleasures, then we as a people would be so much better off than we are.

We need to start teaching relationship skills to our children. Our black community is broken because we lack the foundation.

Having kids all over the place for various reasons: 1) Control over the women via the kids, 2) Enjoy not being 'tied' to one woman, 3) Can pretend they don't have kids when they want to etc. Thanks for your contribution in trying to stop the next generation doing the same thing. Power to you!!

We need more black men like you

This is utter complete recklessness and selfishness yet the children will be collateral damage! You are absolutely right about how some men will procreate with a woman then blame her because she didn't get an abortion!!!

AAAAYYYOOOO! As another young Black American man I can't tell you how refreshing it was to come across this video & hear you keep the focus & accountability on us men rather than deflecting & handing the responsibility over to our women, which is far too prevalent on this platform & in society. WE are responsible for and supposed to be leading/building our community! WE are the ones who are supposed to be a part of raising the children that WE are creating! If we can't tell us that & hold each other accountable, who else can??? I must admit it's also unfortunate how rare this content is to come by & how often messages like this are discouraged simply because they are not viewed as "popular" in our community. This message should be common in our community & it's sad that it isn't. It's sad that we have to get praise for doing things we should already be doing as men, fathers, leaders & builders of our communities. It's sad how many of us are lead astray by these mistaken ideas of "masculinity" which is something that far too many of us didn't even grow up with access to! It's sad how many of us consider ourselves to be "Kings" with absolutely no Kingdom, let alone the vision or behavior worthy of even having a Queen, with whom said Kingdom would fail to exist without! But, with all that said, the honesty & accountability displayed in this video are a part of the solution. Please keep leading by example & sharing truthful, worthwhile messages because we desperately need more of this, even if it's uncomfortable or hard to digest. We need messages we can really take seriously. We need messages from people who are respectful & prioritize the safety of our women & children above their own selfish desires. We need messages from messengers our young men and women can look up to & actually improve from emulating! WE NEED MORE COMMUNITY MINDED FOLK!!! & More men need to be engaging in these spaces & conversations. I often find when I look in the comment sections that it's mostly women who are engaging & open to dialogue which is yet another reflection of our community. We can always depend on our women to show up & support! It's time we start expecting & demanding the same from eachother as men in this community! I will be sharing this with the men in my life & keep this conversation going. I'm finished here, I know this is comment is long AF but this is a subject that hits home for me. Peace + Blessings, Eli

I became a single mother at 20. The relationship with his father (who happened to be the first boyfriend I ever had) was so horrific/traumatic that it made me never want to have kids again married or not. Having kids is nothing to play with! It not only affects you, the child but also everyone around you!!

To a child everything appears to be normal until you grow up and learn, better❤❤

I appreciate you. You remind me of the good men in my father's generation. My son is a little younger than you. I don't tell him to listen to many people at all but I recommended you

Someone once asked how can we Stop the Baby Mama epidemic? My simple answer is Marry before you have babies. Let that be your mindset and guiding principle. Don't let anyone tell you different. A child is a sentient Life. Not your toy or personal belonging. It's a sentient Life. if you are to bring one into the world makes sure to set them up for success and good life. The chaos in our community with this epidemic and yes it's an epidemic proportion (1968 -12% fast forward to 2022 -almost 80%). The Kids suffer for poor decisions made by adults. If you love your kids so much, Please don't choose to put them at a disadvantage from day one on this earth. Lets have more loving families, nurturing environment before bringing a child into it.

I’m open to marriage but I don’t wanna have kids

I was never a baby momma I was a wife with one child by my husband I stayed married to him until he passed away in 2017 and If he could come back I would do it all over again because he was a good man king of my soul and we miss him everyday may he rest in peace.

Thank you for talking about topics that we so desperately need to talk about, especially amongst our black women and men. I so badly want the two-parent home dynamic normalized in our community, I want our black children to be raised in safe environments and be surrounded by healthy relationships. Toxicity, instability, no foundation, single parent homes, abusive and unhappy relationships has become normalized and some people don’t even realize it. That’s part of the reason I’m single today. My goal in life is that if I EVER become a mother, I will FIRST be a wife. I don’t care if anyone shames me of wanting that if I decide to have kids or throw shade at me by saying I’ll die alone. The same goal should be instilled for our men who want to be fathers. In fact, it SHOULD be the goal amongst everyone making babies and having relationships, and they should know that you do that for the sake of the CHILDREN and generations to come. And yes, it’s very true that some marriages end in divorce, women getting pregnant out of wedlock, etc. Yes things don’t always work out, but having those standards should be the GOAL. Two people dating or trying to get into relationships should be HONEST about their GOAL regarding relationships. Many relationships I know that ended horribly stem from one party being DISHONEST about their intentions. That’s another thing we need to practice, HONESTY and what each party wants before making babies or getting in serious relationships that lead to marriage.

I was asking to my friend "why a lot of black men has a lot of baby momma? Why they don't choose to settle down with one instead of make babies right and left?". She answered me that a lot of them grew up without a father, so they don't have the "perfect idea of family". If one day a son, I would teach him to choose his queen, settle down, marry and make baby because make babies with different women is so dysfunctional and stressful. You need to be there physically, emotionally and economically for these kids.

We're three generations into baby mama culture now. We have a young generation whose parents didn't have both parents in the household.

DMX had a lot of kids and that made dividing his assets difficult.

As a single childless 34 yr old woman I stay far away from baby daddy n baby mamas they are both drama and they deserve each other

I married out. My husband was willing to be celibate with me until marriage. First time ended up having a honeymoon baby. He absolutely adores his daughter so much so that my sister get jealous. She has been wanting her son’s father in their life but of course he’s a deadbeat. I can only have sympathy for so long because we warn her, she fell her him hard and he ended up cheating and getting 2 other female pregnant. Just a shame.

IMO, if a guy has many children by as many baby mamas, it's not good for the child's mental health. They cant be there for the children physically no matter how much money they have.

Idc how old I get NO RING ON MY FINGER no kids ! I’m not rushing for nobody

I just said online that if a guy knows he isn't financially ready to support a child then he shouldn't start a relationship with anyone or approach a woman for sex. A guy told me that way of thinking leads to baby mamas/baby daddies because women are 100 responsible for getting pregnant.

Not a lot of people can admit this. Keep spreading the truth ❤️

All of your videos are so important. What you say to young men and women is so needed in our community. I hope they listen and follow your advice.

You immulate what you see growing up when the adults in your life aren't communicating with you.. Some of these older people failed their kids on purpose.. Parents should want all of their children or any child to be creative and do different.. I believe single parents should tell their kids that typically their are two parents in the home. Two healthy parents and just explain Unfortunately that's not the case for us at this time. Step parents do exist, people can remarry or marry it's not the end of the world for many. But on a serious note, People cannot help how they are brought into the world but you can help your little ones walk in a different direction..

Anybody can get married… we have to Value Marriage…Get married & stay married because divorce does the same thing.

When I hear people talking about not liking to se condoms during sex and then they are not even ensuring that they use some other protection it breaks my heart because all I think of is that instant you got pregnant is the same instant you could have caught something. If he doesn't want to use condoms then you get female condoms, protect you. Children are a lifetime of responsibility and we need to stop treating them like toys to use when we feel

One of the reasons that I look at almost all of your videos is because you and I share the literal exact same sentiments. Almost every time I look at one of your videos you say what I'm preaching to people in that I communicate with. People like Ricky smiley DL hughley they lit literally promote baby mamas and baby daddies. Whenever they talk about someone having children the first thing they say is how much child support he's going to have to pay instead of oh that's a nice marriage with children. There is a church in every black community throughout the community people flock to churches but pastors never really emphasize marriage and the nuclear family. If black pastors won't do that we are hopeless. Because the church won't even talk about the nuclear family as a matter of fact they won't talk about it since most of the members are not in nuclear families. So they don't want to hurt someone's feelings. Pastors needs to talk about this every sunday. The nuclear family.

thank you for speaking out! my neighbors house is a war zone cuz 4 boys live there and single angry moms keep driving over YELLING for money? a few pregnant ones drop over too looking all sad and dejected. the boys pretty much ignore all of them? I noticed that they are breeding pitbulls and the male dogs are treated like kings and the female dogs are forced to be chained to a rope outside all day with no water? This is what men have become?

Preach my brother because you are telling the truth. Love you my brother

I fear this so much that I am petrified to have kids. If doctors would let women with no kids get their tubes tied I’d done it already. All because of this. 😣

They're anxious to not take care of their kids.

Now it makes sense why God says to wait for marriage. Read your bible folks

a whole lot of wisdom in this video

One thing about it my friend you can tell you are married now. Because you are getting so thick. You can tell you have settled down. But it looks good. God bless you and your wife. Please please don't stop what you are doing on youtube.

The Black community culture/value is that it is the woman's responsibility to not get pregnant. The Black community culture/value does not practice and promote proper birth control usage and reproductive responsibility of both male and female. These are the cultural and value norms of the Black community. It takes two to bring forth a child. We have grandmothers/fathers that are between the age range of 30-35 years today. Single motherhood statistically roots a woman and the children into social and economic poverty. What is so appealing about rooting yourself and your children into an almost guaranteed like of poverty, stress and a life of predominantly struggle?

Thank you for making this video I appreciate your honesty. You seem like a great father! You gave balance on the perspective of parent on all sides, being a father, mother, and being the child. I am sure your content helped someone... Sending 💕 to all

Single parent households, blended familiea dn second families is disgusting. I don't care what nobody says.

Thank You and Yessss Mr Shumach, you are Right!! Keep speaking the Truth and hopefully You will reach some young men and make a diffetence. Those Old Geezers that's messed-up the Black communities are hopeless and thier dumb asses can't be helped at this point.God Bless You and I thank You for your Wisdom and concern for our people.

Unfortunately, most of these celebrities are already "compromised"! They are MADE to promote certain things that will impact our culture, our communities in a negative way, such as the Nick Cannons, Futures, Lil Wayne's...etc.

I Really appreciate your True Realness,You are a Blessing you are Soo Right ,People are stuck on their own Needs,I’m a Mother an my kids are the Love 💕 of my life, I truly understand what you are saying, This video should fall in on every Man & women page whom don’t understand this meaning of Life..✨🙌🏾God is good All the Time

The transparency 🙌🏾

Instability=Instability, (you attract what you are)

Love your content. You are the spitting image of my narcissistic ex , yet your maturity level and thought process is nothing like his. I just find that hilarious 😂😂😂 Keep bringing us this heat on your way to provide young black man ✊🏽

Thank you for your honesty, and helping the youth.

This is a black culture in America

The reason for this is because of lack of honor and shame culture . Failure of ur grandparents generation I'm guessing .....

If you really do not want the baby mama drama, then just stop getting women pregnant and try celibacy instead of bringing a child into this world you don't want!

Why is this something plaguing the Black and Latino community more than everyone else???

Wow I have never heard this from a black man, imma be real. This is great to see . I just made a video on my channel with my sister talking about this too 💯

I just wanna applaud you for all you said. You’ve seen, you’ve experienced, you’ve done, yet you’ve grown and want to help others do the same. Whenever these conversations come up in my life, it’s often started and led by white people. I don’t see this as a bad thing per se, becos we all have our opinions and I think these conversations are important, however, if we want change in our community (and I mean this as a general “our” (I’m Latina)) then the conversations need to be had at the core. And I think it’s important that people outside of the black community should listen to black men and women because we don’t know the black experience so the way I go about fixing something is different than y’all and that’s ok. I think, generally speaking, this baby mama culture exists beyond the black community (although I do agree it’s probably most present within). As a non-Black woman, I appreciate hearing your opinion on this and hope these conversations happen more often.

First I’m gonna say this… I’m not knocking off any single mom(s) that’s out here but… now a days especially in the black community, women are having babies much younger now and the women that are in there early to mid 20’s are looked down upon b/c they don’t have kids not realizing that women have goals they want to meet and want to enjoy there 20’s. Secondly, baby mama culture is being more glamorous than ever. Even starts to seem like it’s more of a trend rather than it being a blessing. Third, this generation don’t believe in marriage anymore because they think it’s all a financial compromise 💁🏽‍♀️ they rather be a forever BF/GF than to settle down with one person

These are some of the best videos I’ve found on KZfaq. God bless you brother 🙏🏾

What do you have under the hood chief? I hear the power lol.

I'm not black and my baby daddy is white with blue eyes. However, I did my childs ancestry report and it turns out his father is 10% west African. He has 3 baby mothers and I am one of them. I despise being a single baby mother as well. My child is 14 and I have never married or had any more children. It's depressing AF. However, he is remarried with a woman who also abandoned her child and they live the high life.

Much like you @Mahoganypink makes very valid points.

Stop all this rawdogging.

They want to be "father" by name only because they are not the ones actually taking care of the children ... can't even do the simplest things ie feeding ... changing diaper ... a hug ..love ... kind words ... respect There was a young lady who wrote a post .. She was experiencing depression and struggling being as a single mother .... she left a note ... drove her car into a truck ...

We often hear "he shouldn't have laid down with me if he didn't want kids" 🚩Sex is a two-way street, but childbirth is a procedure that only women experience. You choose who gets born ladies. #marrybeforeyoucarry ❤

I'm glad that this is now being discussed in the black community because it seem like once a man figured he could do what he want with the woman without being married to her the black community suffered. broken homes, single mothers, her children needs a father figure The mama trying to show her son how to be a man, mama bitter towards the baby daddy. kids get into trouble not doing their homework, The daughter imitates what the mother did when she got grow and now she is single mother as well. I noticed this has been going on for a long time now at least since 70s, The black man has a family over here and a family over there, he'll come get his son on the weekend sometimes never show up.. kid disappointed. Believe it or not it's became a trend like some women-men think this behavior is cute And it's not 🚫, treat your body like temple and respect yourself.

Not good especially when, they favor certain kids over the others...selective fathering, they still a deadbeat! Great video..👍🏿

Good to hear from a man.

We're a culture of temporary baby mamas and temporary baby daddies. Too many of us live in such a way that either the woman doesn't care/consider if the guy wants or can support the child OR the guys lives in such a way that he never considers child support mandatory thus it doesn't matter how many babies he makes. Both parties wind depending on the Gov't.

Great Video!!

Good video!

Preach!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

With my situation, my dad was a deadbeat to me. But when it came to his stepsons (he married my step mom and took legal guardianship over her kids) he was an outstanding father. He taught them how to drive, was there for their proms and graduations. He was a present and good parent to them. But when it came to me, he didn’t even remember my birthday or my likes. He never spoke to me. It hurts more knowing that he’s an active father to kids that aren’t biologically his, but then he couldn’t even be an active father to his only biological child.

In my dustina voice:" y'all know it's only the women's accountability for single motherhood, so please stop blaming these men. They play no part in this whatsoever, these women are out here impregnating themselves or something... or maybe by the holy spirit? 🤔🤔 Anyway, it is anything but the men. So stop the black men bashing, these women should have known better.... 🤣🤣🤣

You are soooooo handsome.Your kids had no choice but to be beautifull.

I will subscribe to your channel You sound like you got some sense

Love this but also women need to use contraceptives. Ultimately the woman is in charge. So ladies stop being wreckless and selfish. Relationships don’t always work out but if youre risking getting pregnant for no reason you’re selfish. It’s selfish to the child, the man, and also selfish to the woman who may meet and fall in love with this man later on. She doesn’t deserve to get her heart broken when she finds out the love of her life already has kids. Some of these women want to do it right and it’s unfair for them to not have the chance to have that divine family that they deserve because of other selfish, wreckless women who have no self respect

You’re the type of black man I would fight for.

Thank Youu For This Bro 💯

If Daddy is not on a business trip or admitted in the hospital on a ventilator then he supposed to be home at nights with his family.Helping with home work or saying bedtime prayers with them and tucking them in bed.Confident that daddys bedroom is just on the other wing of the house and if the boogey man come in big strong daddy is there.Now how many of your kids home can you do that to everynight😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Thank Jesus for asking my prayers I am not a baby daddy

So right

While the others make the babies and don't want them.

SHE BELING TO THE STREETS!! 🎉🎉🎊🎊🎉🎊

As a woman this why I don't talk to men with kids, even though I have a daughter myself but it's different for me, it's just me and her no outside influence so whatever I say goes. But when you date a man with kids that's two different women raising a child which never work. And 9 out of 10 you had these kids with low level females aka grown girls that will never grow up. And the person you once where at that time you aren't now. So I really have to see if you worth the baggage.

Im certain this sounds like a reach lol but I blame a lot of this stuff on the movie baby boy....I kno I kno lol but think about it for a second.

Tell the women to stop leaving cause they “not happy anymore”

❤💯

👏🏽

0:43 your mom’s boyfriend is not your step dad hes just your moms boyfriend. If they’re not married that’s just your moms boyfriend.

The situation in the Black community is sad. Baby momma culture is rampant and it's a shame. Statics show that 70% of all black children born in the US are the offspring of single parents! This mindset is generational and I don't see it changing any time soon. Look at the role models young black girls and boys have to look up to: rappers and basketball players who father multiple children and not married to any of their baby mommas. Look at Nick Cannon. He has fathered a freaking village of children and doesn't seem to want to stop or give a s***!!! So to break this dilemma, Somebody needs to stand up and say I want better for myself! I don't want to struggle like my mother!! I would like to pursue going to college or learning a trade, do something that gives me a purpose in life. Marriage is rare in our communities, so be someone that says I will have a healthy relationship that is safe and comfortable to have children when the time is right.

My Colombian bf and I are expecting our first child next year and although we’re not married he says he’s not going anywhere and I’ll never be a single mom cause it’s against his culture (Latino) I wish black culture respected family values more

L