That’s true, I think men also have to be realistic that if they want a homebody type women she might not dress like a baddy, she might be dressed more modest and natural. Not always but I think it’s likely.

True

That's right, men don't want a good woman if it's not hot looking. It's really too bad. So many wonderful people being passed up.

@@whenyouwishuponastar6643 💯

​@@whenyouwishuponastar6643bingo. My last boyfriend was always bothered by the fact that I don't value material things. I dress like how I'm dressed in my profile pic most times. Cuz I'm always out hiking, on the water, walking or doing active things so I own mostly athliesure. I save money this way as well as I value experiences over material things. He on the other hand was always buying 300 Jordans and while he made good money he was always broke because of his spending. He never saw his ways as a problem, but always critiqued my wardrobe and mentioned how I need more things. And to be fair I did try to buy more cute and polished pieces here and there and would dress up when we went out but at the end of the day he wanted a full time baddie and that was never gonna be me. The most frustrating thing is they complain about women being gold diggers and having to spend all this money on them, but when you desire a woman like that, that's literally what is gonna be required. Nails cost money. Hair cost money. Nice shoes and nice clothes cost money. They want the baddie but don't want the cost associated with her. They are very unrealistic in their desires just as they say we are. I'm natural through and through and save my money and don't value the wrong things, but I get looked over time and time again, cuz I'm not an IG looking girl. Can't win for losing.

EXACTLY!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🗣️🗣️🗣️

Addiction is toxic hell. Degeneracy is for the weak & boring. The opinion of an addicted, fallen, broken female should not be held up as a generalization of all black women.

Exactly. I'll never understand that kind of mentality. In my eyes, if you think normal and healthy things are "boring" - you are the perverted and a bit unhealthy one. It's not that people who hold some standards for themselves are boring.

@@phoenixxsoulstop being a judgmental ____,… I don’t get drunk like the lady in the video but my husband and I will have the occasional wine night. We have a lot of fun. It helps take the shyness away. Yes after years we can still at times be a little shy with one another so it helps. We are responsible though If someone likes something they aren’t going to understand why other people completely get rid of it. I can understand if you are a recovering alcoholic and you don’t drink.. but .. They even give wine in church and wine is good with certain meals so I can’t imagine ever giving up wine .. And honestly a bottle will last us MONTHS lol

I smoke, I drink. But I find men who do the same are boring

Congratulations. I was not fortunate.

This gives me some hope. 🙏🏾

Congratulations!!! What a blessing I love to hear love stories like this! I’m not interested in anyone who drinks or smokes or does any type of drugs, cigarettes…definitely seems like everyone does tho

Amen. My husband and I don’t indulge like that and both serve our God, we have fun.

This! I was fortunate enough to find my match in my husband too. I look at singles/ the dating world and it’s like everyone relies on some type of drug… I couldn’t do it. If I was single I’d most definitely be by myself with cats lol 😅

You talking about Nardo Wick? Don't smoke or drink, is disciplined ✅️ Want to honor God ❌️ You must not know who that guy is lol

Actually.. these guys are not rare. They exist... but most women consider them as LAME. LoveDorsey actually had a really great conversation about this where consistency, predictability, and peace have been deemed as BORING. As a culture THAT is the problem. Most women have firendzoned quality men, but they don't view them as "exciting".

@@thenuetrix6574 no I don’t know him. I’m talking about husband quality men in general.

May be looking in the wrong places

Are you serious girl?? stop it You know there's plenty of men are like that.

True! I met someone who used to do drugs to hold down himself because he knew he was a horrible person. (He said it himself)

Keep praying. My friend's fiance died. She thought she would never marry. Someone told her to pray for her future husband and pray to be a good wife. She's been married for 4 years. Don't give up!❤

@@starrjohnson1327 is she happy though.. like genuinely happy and does mister husband treat her like the beautiful flower that she is

I’m in my 30’s. I never smoked, drank, done drugs and not a fan of partying either. I always got people saying i was boring or say, “you never do anything.” And my response is always, “i do plenty. I just don’t do anything that you’re doing.”

@@anonnnymousthegreat ooo I like that response

I'm not only single, I'm alone at the moment. I see old friends post club photos or videos and I remember why my social life is on pause. I know even people I meet in church aren't much better. It's not that I'm so good, I'm trying to do right and I know if I join my girls to do what they do, I'll even go several steps ahead of them, I'm all in or all out. So for now, I'm just stuck.

amen

#facts

Preach

What you said is true but your username is not adding up. "goddesses" do not exist. There is one GOD up in Heaven and HE is a jealous GOD. There shall be no other gods or goddesses before HIM.

@@JESUS.saves.Repent. preach preach!

Find a activity or volunteer somewhere that you enjoy and just enjoy your life

Don’t think you have to stay on the hood get out and see the world

That was me. I eventually found my husband online. One of the first thing he asked was do I drink or smoke, I said no, that was important to him. Don’t give in and stay true to yourself ❤

What state you in girl?

I am the same I am not boring I just don't conform to what the world views as acceptable ❤

And those men can go get themselves an IG baddie. And see how fun it is to have a woman all men are looking at and she is willing to entertain em all too. And see how fun it is that she dangles her loyalty to him like a carrot over his head "i can have anyone I want, i can leave tomorrow for all I give a shit". Yeeeeeeaah, it takes a few baddies to break the spell and hit then with the reality that porn stars are fun to look at, but not fun to date. You want a woman that every man desires all to yourself. But you built a relationship off of lust and no substance. The foundation is doomed from the start. They will suffer for their actions. And then blame the women for being "jezebels" and whatever, and while it may be true, i hope more of them can admit their fault to by chose lust instead of seeking out character.

A pickme is a female who lets a man get away with anything or accepts the bare minimum from a man.

You’re doing it right !

you might have to do like the cool kids and look outside the united states my dad became a widower and I wouldn't want him to look for someone else and he was married 50 years

That's a great mindset.

You will find her soon, just be patient. You are still so young. Do not let society rush you.

That's what I want

Congratulations. Keep doing great 💜

@@celesteredding1550 thank you. 🥹

AMEN🙏🏾! KEEP IT UP ❤!

I don’t drink or smoke either and I’ve gotten so much flak for it. I’ve tried it before but now I won’t even have a glass of wine with my food.

I'm glad you got out. He had a spirit of lust.

Im that’s odd for someone to just switch up like that. How long did you get to know him before getting married?

Being 33 I did that in my 20s and the Holy Spirit told me I was killing my mind and body and so is everyone all that drinking and smoking will cause health issues if I could go back I would’ve never indulged and let people call me lame

@@asiamwithraenetteleepodcastamen let people call you lame they’re only ruining themselves!

​@@GHO5tMod3 I'm the same way. I've never done or smoked drugs or weed and I've never been drunk. My last "drink" was May 2019 and I haven't had the desire to drink since. I don't see being a "lame" as an insult all that means is I'm living a "set apart" life like the Bible says and not following a bunch of people who don't even matter down the wide path.

People don't like strength. The strong don't need to run away hiding behind meds, drink and drugs to deal with the realities of life. There's a lot to be said for clean fun and most importantly, there's no consequences. Stick to your own kind, do not be unequally yoked to darkness, sin, disease & depravity.

💯💯

Don't worry. God will rescue you and matchmake you with someone he's ordained for you. Give your desires over to God and allow him to prune and prepare you. I stopped drinking a couple months ago but did struggle at first, especially in social settings but you can indeed do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Phil 4:13)

@@khensk thank you for your kind words and encouragement. Greatly appreciated

I understand your struggles I have the same problem with marijuana but I do like it very much sadly🤦🏾‍♀️ im trying to stop but it’s very difficult

@@myiahmc.3746 yes . We can do this with the help of the most high. At least we are acknowledging that we have an issue. That’s the first brave step. My sister smoked since she was 12 or 13 and she’s been sober for more than a year or two I believe and she’s now 40. I know it can be done! We just need to keep the faith

Keep believing God. I know of so many testimonies similar to yours where it took sooo long that they started thinking it might never happened. But it happened. Yahweh will be faithful to you and help you to stop eventually,

They are.

It depends where and how u go about meeting someone. I’ve learned from my mistakes, by not vetting the situation properly. when allowing someone to come into my life. When u see someone attractive do u ask God, should I approach. Or if you’re approached. do u ask should I text him/her. do u pray before even going on a date. or do you just go with what u feel the vibe is. Before u get serious with someone do you bring them around trust worthy people. that have your back. That knows you. That has your best interest at heart. That’s on the outside looking in that can give u a real honest opinion. other than he/she is fine and they a good catch. only because they well off. But more so based of the way they think, there Beliefs. whether they want to lead a life that pleases God. I think more so than it being rare to find a good woman or man. I think it’s rare that we follow the right guidelines when trying to date people. most of us know these things. We just fail to practice it. I’m learning this myself.

@@Tjc16 Yes!! I’ve definitely learned from my mistakes and have learned to trust God and pray for discernment when dating! Just because someone has stability and believes in god it doesn’t mean he’s for me. Nowadays going off a man’s character, are you actively seeking god not just believing, a family man etc. My kingdom spouse will come soon enough 😌👑

@@jayekc Amen I’m believing with u as well. hope God gives u the husband your looking for. God bless you.

@@Tjc16 thank you! Same to you ♥️♥️

A lot of the “pleasure” is filling a void. I was a functioning alcoholic which started at the age of 12. Quitting drinking was the best thing I ever did. I mean, I’ll have a glass of wine but I don’t get drunk. I recently stopped smoking too. When you live that life you of course attract certain types of people and more inner demons. It’s actually sad. But the ppl that do this are typically lost in some way.

​@@ItsjustcazzataThat's true. I always remember something my aunt told me. She said if you're not doing it now, don't ever start.

Any guy who says you're boring for not having sex with him isn't interested in commitment, you dodged a bullet

@@utamu777 agreed!!!!

Agreed! Something is off about this friend.

This is absolutely true, good men tend to chase after worldly women and then complain that they're worldly

I keep thinking about a friend I have like this. We met on tinder but he decided he wanted to only be friends because he saw me as wanting too much (marriage within 3 years, and to take off work the first 5 years when I have kids since I own my home and don't have a mortgage that's possible.) He's a really nice man and we get along very well it's been 4 years now we are both still single and the only women he dates seriously are women who are actively dogging him out, going ghost for long periods of time, openly sleeping around and treating him like an ATM. He has at least 3 other female friends that I know of who he friend zoned in the last few years for various random reasons (he's not ready to provide, he doesn't want her to out earn him, ect, ect, excuses.) I'm fully convinced he doesn't really want a relationship with a peaceful woman he just wants our emotional labor while he deals with BS. He doesn't like hearing when I go out on dates or when I'm excited getting to know new people. He was irritated when I did have 2 very short lived relationships over the last couple of years but I never understood why when he actively does not want me at all.

good for you sis 🙏

You better ask him what his friend’s type is, these men love to say they want a boring girl- what type of boring girl- if they want a wife in the streets and freak in sheets, tiny waist, big ssa etc these men would never give up their superficial shallow behavior for finding a good wife. They don’t know how to pick either.

😂

Thirsty

​@@MrTwonetwone not really, im just putting it out there that I exist. Lord says, ask and ye shall receiveth...right?

Any advice?

Exactly... What package is he looking for these traits is the question?