Ah yes... the thin line between a relationship and prosititution.

Attraction isnt negotionable so doing Housework isnt going to get you laid

I have nothing against cleaning and cooking because I do it when I see fit or necessary. But for her to put that as a priority in order for us to have sex is a No No.

One thing I finally figured out is this: whatever you do will never be enough, so just do what you do and don’t sacrifice your convenience for people that will never be happy.

If your gf /wife refuse to have sex unless domestic chores are done then that sex isnt worth the wait. She has no genuine burning desire for you. For her sex is just chore. If she can't satisfy your sexual urge end the relationship. Denying man sex is like if your hungry she won't cook for you neither you can go outside and satisfy your hunger.

I used to do 90% of the housework, paid 80% of the bills and 40% of the child care and I didn’t gain a single bit more of sex. I actually got more shamed and made to feel bad about myself because I wanted just a regular amount of sex. It doesn’t help that she was a narcissist and not very emotionally mature.

If it were actually true we’d be doing it all the time and getting it. Myth busted. On of my ex’s initially liked my masculine traits and activities. As time went on she was trying to take those things away from me. She made a lot of money and wanted me to basically do housework, so she went behind my back and hired a lawn service after I spent money and time fixing the lawnmowers. She also wouldn’t let me change oil on her vehicles. The ability to hire ppl to do mens jobs is also an Achilles heel for them. I felt buried, emasculated, and it pissed me off so I dumped her.

Answer: No

Imagine having marital issues over dishes and laundry. As if those are the most grueling tasks in the world.

"Do the laundry, there will be sex" Yeah, but not with you.

Reminds me of that episode of everybody loves Raymond, when Ray finally does the housework and his missus says she's never been so turned on. I never watched another episode after that 😅

Why does a man have to work to get his wife's affection? Imagine the outrage if he denied to pay her bills unless she gets a job and helps out with the bills while doing the house work🤦‍♂️ If he's paying for everything and she's not putting out, it would be cheaper for him to get a housemaid and have friends with benefits

In the French language, "warrior's rest" is an expression dating back to the Middle-Age and referring to sexual intercourse, especially from the point of view of the man who was coming back from war. I think it holds some value as a description of a man's desire to relieve some stress through sex.

Gender roles were formed in response to the needs of the people. They were based on who was best suited to perform the tasks associated with each role. Until very recently in human history, people fought every day to survive, which meant it was essential to be as efficient as possible. Even a little over a hundred years ago, if a man stayed home and did housework while his wife went out to trade furs or something, there was a much higher probability that she would be robbed and/or murdered. It just didn't make any sense. Additionally, men typically have the innate desire to protect their offspring/family, and the best way to protect the most vulnerable while men were out fighting for resources was by having them stay home. Sure, now women have the luxury and freedom to rebel against the social structures that were forged in thousands of years of our ancestor’s hardship, but that doesn't mean the structures are ineffective or harmful as radical feminists would have everyone believe. I think it's quite clear at this point that most of what's taught in "wahmen's studies" is complete nonsense that has caused great harm to society.

What I'd like to add is this: In a traditional relationship - married or not - where the woman is at home most of the time and the man is out working, neither partner can see what the other is doing when they are doing it. The only thing the woman sees is there's money in the bank when he gets paid. All he can see is a clean and orderly home. I believe, and this is based on my experience in relationships, is a woman craves the man to show some awareness and sensitivity to what is in the home environment and participates in some of its upkeep. This applies especially to the things women typically can't or don't want to handle like fixing appliances, cleaning the garage, fixing screen doors. I once had a girlfriend who said watching me replace her front screen door really turned her on. It also helped that it was a warm day and I wore shorts. Most importantly, doing whatever housework that shows you are tuned into the rigors of what she deals with daily is likely to help her feel open to you. Another point, when women uses sex as a bargaining chip, a means of dolling out favors in exchange for something she wants - something is dreadfully wrong. As humans - male-female - we are driven to have sex to satisfy certain and very powerful psychological and physical needs. If she is using sex to doll out favors, she is putting something besides her need for sex above her attraction to you and her need for sex with you. That makes the man's need for sex seem less important to her. At that point, it's no longer about her attraction to you, she just wants something nonsexual from you. If she can get away with that, it puts her in a power position above you and whatever sense of equality you've had in the relationship goes South. And depending on her real sex drive, if it's strong, over time her attraction to you will diminish and she will look elsewhere for someone to satisfy her real needs. If she has the ability to withold sex, so do you.

Seriously, you can do all the friggin house work but, the ageing,raging, menopausal narcissistic female, will still be as miserable and as manipulative as ever. Seriously, it all had dire consequences for my health. Stay well 🙏🙏❤️

I fell for this myth several relationships ago. For months i did practically everything, so that there was no excuse that she 'was too tired' or 'had too much to do'. Nope. The same excuses kept coming, except now, she got more lazy, did less and just had more time to watch TV. She still hit bed, 'exhausted' everytime i showed any advance. Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice.....I dont think so.

Ultimately proving that women don't want a man that makes them happy. You treat a woman as an equal and she loses attraction for you.

I saw this scenario play out as a kid. My aunt and uncle were married for about 25 years. They had three kids together, my cousins. Things started to go south. My uncle Chris started doing ALL the housework, even though they both had full time jobs. He was trying his best to save his marriage. He was good at it too. Candles in the restroom, house always spotless, laundry always smelled nice and towels were softened, he maintained the pool for all of us kids to swim when we came to visit the cousins, yard always mowed and raked, house painted and in tip top shape. I’m sure there is more he was doing that I don’t even know about because I was only a kid. Probably paying all the bills too I’m sure. Guess what she did? Cheated on him and divorced him anyway. After all that time invested and energy spent. Lost it all anyway. This was a good 20 plus years ago and the guy still has never been the same. He’s always rented a small apartment ever since and has dated a little bit but never fully recovered. I feel for him. I think I’ll text him later and just say what’s up unk?

Biggest myth is household chores are tiring. Especially if there are no kids.

Does this mean that if I keep doing masculine things I did before getting into a relationship like lifting heavy weights, aggressively applying myself at my job, spending time with my male friends etc, and add a few non core household things, I can get more sex and a happier partner?

Same in France ...... It's a NO !!

a Darth Vader NOOOOOOOOOOOO

My ex did not allow me to do laundry or clean the house, because she thought I am accusing her to not do it. Only in the fun part she accepted that I tried to help, exactly as the study says .

The part at the end by your guest about why relationships end is spot on. Has to be the most common reason for LTRs.

Honestly the only thing that increased my wives sex drive was me staying in killer shape. Its like she feels the need to initiate sex with me in fear of her losing me to someone who will which I wouldn't ever cheat on my wife but that's her perception.

Just to give another angle to this: one of the reasons why relations might drop off in these situations, other than attraction, is that the man may simply be too tired to pursue it. Men generally work more hours than women, and then if you add increased household chores to that as well, men are likely to be too worn out to think about physical relations. Tiredness and stress are two of the biggest killers of libido.

A point on the f*minist "household chores gap" you're alluding to in this vid: much like the mythical "pay gap", when you look into all the variables it basically doesn't exist (at least not in the way f*minists claim). Men work more paid hours, more unsociable shift work, commute longer, work away from home more etc. The extra hours women do in the home just make up for some of that. I believe that many of the "household chores" stats don't even include more typically male yard work, mechanic, DIY etc.

This just explained my biggest problem falling out of a loooong relationship, I forgot about my masculinity from several aspects and that's why I got so much trouble with dating

Spoiler: No.

As we're talking about relationships; may I just point out that a Man who does 60% or more of the housework is probably unemployed (maybe a stay-at-home-dad) and the Woman is probably out working full-time (being the "breadwinner"). If this is the case then the man's lack of employment and doing all the housework is not a "turn on", it's the "bare minimum" that's expected. Plus a working woman gets to see lots of attractive guys (work colleagues? customers? strangers in transit?) who are more financially and/or physically attractive than their partner. Also a working woman is just as exhausted at the end of the day as a "housewife" who does all the chores - so she is less inclined to have the energy for s*x with her man. AND a working woman is likely to fall into the thinking that "he has it easy at home" and start to resent her man's "freedom". ALSO she is likely to believe that the housework is HIS job, and she develops a lazy attitude while at home - so is less likely to put in ANY effort towards their relationship (after all, she works hard all day at work and wants to relax at home). None of which is conducive to a woman WANTING to do more for her man. 😔

Here's the problem. Once you do a certain amount of the "feminine" house work, you are held to that amount or else you will be a disappointment. Divide the male/female chores. Help out wisely. I was expected to 50% of the chores and work while she didn't work.

More house work was just a stepping stone to divorce.

If she doesn't love you and care about you its not worth it .

This talk is amazing, and I'm very in favor of gender rolls as well... I belive it's the natural order of things. My partner is strong and masculine, and I love that! I'm feminine, but a hard worker with whatever I put my mind to. We each put effort into whatever needs to be done. The more we accomplish as a team, the more time we have for eachother, the more energy we have for intimacy and sexy time ❤

This video was refreshing, I despise doing chores. But when it comes to heavy duty stuff I love doing those stuff

The house is my domain. I keep it clean & beautiful. I don’t want my man to. I want him to have his own work elsewhere (within his own office is okay but entirely separate is honestly better). That is what makes me happy!

Hi Alex, l enjoyed the conversation with your friend.

I owned a gardening business. My most awkward interactions with customers were when the wife would emasculate her husband by getting me to do jobs that their husband’s weren’t up to, while he was home to see me working there. I felt so sorry for some of those men who were clearly embarrassed that I’d been asked to do jobs that they hadn’t done. The emasculation was palpable.

What I really do not understand about this is how the hell do women take all day and then some to do the chores? I had a GF many years ago with 2 young kids. She insisted she went out to work and I stay home and look after her kids. Turns out it was because she absolutely resented every second she was with them hence her being my x. Anyway after 2 months of this she also resented me being at home as most of the time I was doing nothing. IE doing the laundry cooking and cleaning took about 4 hours on a bad day. Maybe add 90 minutes to that if you are fixing up something really special for dinner on a Friday night. So I was doing all the chores and I mean everything except her uniforms. That included keeping the kids amused and reading with them etc. 4 hours a day max. So how the hell do women make it take about 12 hours a day?

Good guest, enjoyed the video!

When a Man shares the load of core housework, he is still expected to perform the traditional Man's roles. He still needs to earn more, do car, yard, and house maintenance.

I’ve never understood this issue of house work or cleaning as less masculine. Maintaining a clean workshop, organizing and cleaning up tools, stripping and degreasing an engine or stripping and cleaning a weapon, field dressing a deer, then cleaning the tools and gear.. all cleaning and maintenance. Oddly enough, my ex used to get really horned up when I’d vacuum.

If you give her NOTHING to complain about or to complete,she has to. There's no headache she can have at that point.

Want more sex? Respect is 1000% important if she doesn't respect you then it doesn't matter how many chores you do.

Analysis and interesting yet very useful data is why I come back to this channel

A study again. Thanks 👍 more of that please

Men doing more housework=unemployed. I doubt it is any more complicated than that

I can absolutely verify this. When I started working my IT job from home in 2004 I did way more housework and got less sex from my now ex wife. The meaner I was the less chores I did and the more I ignored her the more sex and better sex I got from her.

This is a situation that I tried to understand for years. From one side, my wife and I, are this type of couple which communicate a lot and help each other in tasks. Kind of a modern couple that you portrayed by the media. Still sex drive from her side decline bit by bit since we commit officially to each other (then marriage). From another side, I live in Japan, so I know lots of typical salary men that take care of the money/work and their wife do the housework/childcare. When I discuss with them, they are unanimous, they have the same problem even though our functioning as a couple is very different. From my side, I tried everything, (work out, to be more "masculine" or gentle in my approach, to let her do first step etc.). When I asked her, why we don't do anything anymore, she cries and says: "I just want you to understand me, I want you to empathize" and " I cannot give you a checklist". The discussion goes around in circles and nothing concrete comes out of it. I feel like she doesn't even know what she wants and gets angry because of it. All of that to say I don't believe there is a check list anyway, or "method" that you can apply to each individual. I don't like being the one who takes up old ideas and I'm not trying to blame women, but from my own experience, I noticed the same pattern with woman that I met, there is a "before" and "after" committing. A kind of mindset switch. If I was single again today I think I would be in a "non-classic relationship" where everyone stays at their own home and sees each other on a non-daily basis. It's sad that this seems to be the best outcome to have a regular sex life as a man in most of the case (of course you always have exceptions). PS: I still love my wife though, she is a really good partner for lot of other stuff, so I will probably try and try again until my old days.

Could you please list/link the study’s you reference in the description? Thanks

Modern women have unrealistic expectations and now I have very real expectations of staying single

My Ex-Wife flat told me, if I did the housework FOR A YEAR, she might feel like sex as she is SO tired. I did the maths and calculated a Housekeeper and Sex Worker would be much cheaper and less effort than my wife. When I presented my data, she was furious and totally proved my point.

Alexander Grace you are a social hero

It’s very difficult to maintain that masculine power and mysterious aspect with a woman when you live with her obviously. She sees you less as a ‘Greek God’, and more and more like a domesticated sheep as time goes by. This subject is a book in its self as there is so much to this. To be brutally honest, the best way to maintain your masculine power, is to not live with a woman. The male type that is best at this is the ‘Lone Wolf’. I have not lived with a woman for many years, and it has worked out fantastic. I doubt that I would ever go back to living with a woman because, I retain my masculine frame that women love, and I am able to keep my wealth, and masculine lifestyle with no issues from women that, always seem to want to domesticate men. Once they do, they get bored and cheat, or leave. I avoid all this, and my time is my own. A Lone Wolf, never needs people. I am able to cherry-pick when I want to be with women. I have avoided so many issues with women because, I am never needy for them. If you want to attract women, never allow yourself to be ‘domesticated’ by them. Women can always spot a domesticated man because, they give off a weak servile vibe that women despise. They will just use and abuse you for your resources while they continue chasing the ‘Bad Boys’, at your expense.

Do more chores = she will gradually lose respect for you. Its like marriage: much sex at the beginning, it goes down fast. Because she wants you also to be a CEO, Martial Arts master and exude masculinity everywhere anytime. She will soon cheat on/divorce you while you wash the dishes. Because you are not the best she can do if you are in the kitchen!

You cannot negotiate genuine desire. The idea that you can rationally barter for someones real desire is the biggest lie ever sold by modern psychotherapy. In fact negotiating has the opposite effect on desire, it only prompts obligated compliance and resentment. - Rollo Tomassi

A lot of people tend to make excuses for their failures or lack of motivation (men and women). So if a woman doesn't feel like having sex then they'll say "oh well I'm tired or not in the mood because of stuff you did or didn't do." This is a way to get people to do what you want in hopes for a reward, but there's no guarantee of a reward. The woman likely believes that they will be more attracted to you if they are happier, but there's so much evidence in dating and pick-up that polarity and even conflict creates sexual tension. It's like women can't resolve passion and happiness, which also explains the whole being torn between nice guy and badboy thing. One makes them happy and the other aroused, but it's hard to have both.

I think there's a balance, and that doesn't mean a point of equality. Just as I don't expect my wife to take on 1/2 of everything I do in maintaining the house/car/yard, she shouldn't expect me to take on 1/2 of the routine. What I think is reasonable is that I mitigate any mess/work I might create and I do additional tasks here and there where I can and cook when needed (several times a week, at least). She'll give me a hand with my work when I need a hand and we adjust if one or the other is temporarily busy with something. Each person putting in a bit of effort into what the other does from time to time, not taking what the other does for granted by piling up more work for them, and expressing the occasional appreciation to each other for what each does is all that it takes. It really is not that complicated...

If a woman ever says 'aaahh' or 'that's so sweet'... you will not be having sex with her.

The simpler answer to this is that marriage leads to men and women disliking each other. Women are extremely dissatisfied in marriage...no amount of doing dishes is going to change that.

"happy wife = happy life" is just a bologna!!!

Good Stuff -- Matt's microphone needs to be louder.

My wife and I randomly mix up the household duties, split 50-50 & both of us work. Randomizing the tasks reduces the who does more arguments, increases appreciation & each knows how much effort is required for each task.

I clean for a living and I never got laid even cleaning windows, her car and entire house

Apart from your amazing content, I noticed (as a german person) how funny it is to watch an english video with german words like "Zeitgeist" thrown in 😄

Housework can never be chores for a man. The man is just doing things he wants done with his house. He's not doing it because it's the woman's house and he's 'helping' her, like he's her good boy son. It's his house. She's supposed to be helping him. Or at the bare minimum it's both of theirs and they are a team, but he's still the leader with regards to what needs done. The man should be doing the most IMPORTANT things first and then delegate to the woman all of the other little side jobs. So if the water heater needs fixed for example the man should already be on top of the situation and telling his woman "honey, I'm going to be fixing the water heater today, would you vacuum while I take care of that for me" and if she says she can't because she's doing something else he should say "that sounds acceptable, you work on that then while I take care of the water heater" The man is still directing the show. Basically LEAD, instead of waiting for the woman to have to point out what needs done. Because if you let a woman lead too often, she'll lose respect for you since she has to assume pants wearing duties and then some women ironically start slacking off themselves because they 'feel' justified because of all the 'stress' and 'pressure' they are under from having to lead and 'do everything', and then end up themselves being lazy and nagging with their wimpy husband.

I mow the lawn, trim hedges, fix things around the house. Even built a fence with a large gate. I’ll clean here and there but she primarily does dishes, laundry etc

Great guest 👌

Women despite what they say want traditional masculinity. They may complain but actions speak louder than words.

I had this argument with one of my exes. She was not happy, when I pointed out, that paying me by sex for chore in return is not far from prostitution 😂

Does anybody have a link to that study?

Four chores l do. 1- Clean the windows and screens 😮😮3- Clean ceiling fand and as all the other fans. 3- Dust ceiling and lights 4- Wash. the cars.

When the men do the wahmen's domestic duties, she has extra time to spend with Chad and Tyrone (real men)

Sex with my ex wife WAS the chore.

8:00 Book suggestions from this video: The Way of the Superior Man By: David Deida June 1, 1997 224 pages The 48 Laws of Power By: Robert Greene 1998 496 pages

this talk was amazing

The less a man acts like a woman, the more women respect and are attracted to him.

What if I am so tired from doing all that housework that I can't stay awake? LOL --Old Guy

You guys should watch the old movie "The scarlet pimpernel" I just realized that the behaviors you are talking about , are all in the dynamics of the married couple in this movie.

my ex-gf is an engineer, and when we were dating she said she wanted a man who's "handy" around the house. it didn't make sense to me at the time until viewing this video.

Actually I can not believe the data -.- That's to f...ing smooth!!

When I was originally told the idea that "life is foreplay" (which is true), it was presented as housework as being that act (which it is not). Both people need to do their part, but the idea that chores=sex is the weaponization of sex. And if purposeful witholding of sex means more chores are done, then it only encourages witholding it more.

Few years back I was driving my GFs truck on the way to an important appointment and her truck got a flat. She panicked now we were gonna be late. I changed the tire in about 5 minutes. I guess up to the point she had never experienced anything like that... Her ex husband wasn't that mechanically inclined , and she had AAA so that's how she dealt with things like that. But I could tell she really got turned on by it. It depends on the woman but women that aren't used to capable guys can definitely be affected by it.

Problem with this concept is that it assumes all women are and think the same. It is the sam as saying all men are the same, which we know is not true.

6:06 "When Evan refused to carry his load at home," I refused to carry his load in me 😂

😂😂😂 might as well be single if i gotta do housework and work all week 😂😂😂

My answer is absolutely NOT

would love to see who they sampled to do the study

Thank you

And they call us sexist if we don't do it.

If both work, then both should do housework. If one works and the other is home, then divide labor that way. If you want more sex then fight less and take more breaks from routine. It is not housework that dictates sexual interest, its fatigue and fighting.

Basically Patrice O'Neal's Fish analogy.......?!

Anyone who really loves you will do things for you. Those who don't care have to be paid to pretend to care.

Chad doesn’t need to do laundry

Preying on a Man’s sex drive is one of their weapons. Not just female’s but the government & mainstream media as a whole. This is one of the reasons why strengthning your self control and building discipline is important.

This is so true. Men and women all have their jobs and never the twain shall meet. Like, would a man expect a woman to change a tyre or take out the garbage, would a women expect a man to sow, clean the toilet or wash the clothes? Of course not. The opposite sex likes to see each other do these things and it's very healthy for the relationship.

My experience: help around the house less, "you don't appreciate me." help around the house more, "you don't trust me."

you know your employer keeps stacking work on you because you can ha dle anything? this is the same scenario but different arena. The lack of appreciation will be the same

Ludicrous, happy women, grateful women, satisfied women….these are all fallacies