Special Video Exam (Will Be Deleted 7 Days After Posting) - www.patreon.com/posts/60530518

If you're attractive and introverted it really won't matter as much.

As a mostly introvert... I certainly don't "glorify" extroverts; I see them as annoying mostly.

I think people confuse introversion with social anxiety and neuroticism. I'm an introvert, socializing does not make me anxious, going to a metal concert and being in the middle thousands of people kinda calms me down tbh. I just find most people to be boring to interact with, people are very easy to read and they love talking about themselves, so keeping a conversation going is very easy as well .. but I just prefer to spend time on loner hobbies on my own, because that energises me. Thats what an introvert is, not a naurotic wreck or someone with SAD.

Simple sign of a true introvert: spending time with people you love and feel comfortable around still makes you feel drained, even though you genuinely enjoy it.

My best friend is extremely intelligent and extremely shy and he has been single his whole life. I think he is just way too smart and finds it impossible to connect with most girls.

I'm a introvert and a lot of girls I dated say they found me to be "mysterious". Even now I still have no idea what they meant by that

I noticed that being an introvert can be a positive when dating because then you genuinely dont want to spend too much time with the woman and that makes you look more attractive. :)

Being introverted could be a problem in an overly extroverted culture like USA, not in Japan for example.

As a loner there's no bigger satisfaction than finding another loner to be alone with. To all my fellow introverts, don't ever change.

I'm an introvert. Both my parents were extroverted narcissists who would force me to socialise and that made me even more introverted. They would also punish me for being introverted. I actively avoid extroverted individuals they remind me far too much like my abusers it's less stressful this way

As an introvert, it is tough. Very tough.

Alexander, regarding introverts: behavior difference can be explained by difference in high-reactive / low-reactive people. It's a bit different dimension, that is actually mostly genetic and correlates strongly with being introverted/extroverted. Introverts are often high-reactive people, who react much stronger to external stimulus and thus avoid too much stimulus... and that's how their brain is wired.

Realistically speaking, I think in earlier life of most introverted guys get more infatuated/hooked by the beauty and carefree attitude of the party girl because it’s so different approach/perspective on life than themselves that they want to be a part of but later see the superficiality, insecurity, and drama behind it. The attraction of the opposites can happen so quickly but also end the fastest if both parties don’t accommodate to each person’s unique needs.

Here's my 2 cents. For context, every test I do, I score 95+ on introversion. Personally I prefer being home or doing things alone. I hate parties, concerts and events where there are many people or its crowded. I can go weeks or months without seeing friends and I won't be bothered much. I don't mind hanging out with small groups but the larger they get the less intimate it feels and for things like parties, I zone out a lot or I leave to have some quiet time. I can socialise and talk to strangers if I want to but I don't really ever feel the need to and it's like a switch I need to turn on. My default is off. As for dating. These habits give me less opportunities. And sometimes women get upset if I don't say hi to them but I don't think my introversion is a hindrance. If anything I'm seen as calm, collected and mysterious and some women are just a little intimidated because they don't know me or can't read me My biggest problem is meeting people. And I hate dating apps and I actually hate texting as a way of getting to know someone. It took me a really long time to "get" flirting

I've actually noticed some of that superficially in the women at my current workplace. In spite of being a genuine introvert, I have no trouble attracting women's attention. When I press further, a lot of the women I find myself attracted to have terrible personalities or focus only on looking pretty. None of them want to talk about anything deep and are only interested in gossip. I've encountered more interesting women at my previous job.

I've been an introvert long before I even had a term to describe it, and it certainly wasn't a Buzzfeed "What Hogwarts house / pizza are you?" type quiz I was blueprinting myself into in early childhood. Back then I was shamed and ostracized for wanting to be alone and immerse myself in my art / books / dinosaurs. My parents / teachers called it "Anti-social" behavior. Today there's widespread awareness, and peer reviewed science to back it up pioneered by Carl Jung, and Dr. Elaine Aron (HSP & dopamine sensitivity). The literature basically concludes that introverts have highly sensitive dopamine reward systems. So it just takes a bit of stimulation to get high levels of dopamine. Extroverts on the other hand need a lot of stimulus, loud sounds, often chaos, restlessness, big groups of people, to get the very same dopamine output. Introverts in these situations feel "overstimulated" and ultimately "burned out". (This can be measured using microdialysis / injecting a compound and monitoring the receptors). You bring great points throughout this video though, there's no black and white, it's a spectrum, and many people are "Ambiverted" or somewhere in between. But some of us are closer to the extremes. This doesn't mean we're isolated, or incapable of socializing, or occupying a high position in a social hierarchy. I used to teach art at a lecture hall with 120 students. And many considered me a favorite teacher. I enjoyed it too. I can converse with anyone, and they usually are thrilled by the knowledge I've accumulated over the years of reading and learning alone. But I have to recharge after. I'll never be alpha chad, but perhaps a quiet Van Gogh, or a renaissance scientist at his study. I know with certainty and a lot of self exploration that I'm hardwired to be an introvert. I love my solitude, I feel resentful and depleted without it. It's the fountain of all my skills, hobbies, talents, it's how I grow and nurture myself, as well as cultivate the capacity to care and share with others. So, if I dated a very outgoing / extroverted girl it would be an irreconcilable difference, and a potential constant source of conflict. That's why I've been single for so long. Introverts aren't out and about, they're in their homes, often playing online games, or being creative. They're hard to come by. It's like there's plenty of fish in the sea, but these fish like to stay in aquariums / tanks. They often don't even put themselves on the market. I dated one girl who was an introvert, and the art we did, the games we played, that was all time spent together, instead of time spent apart. The "Gamer girl", "Creative" archetypes is what I'm compatible with. I might be shooting myself in the foot as I'm 28 and still single. But I'd rather take a gamble and hope I find real depth and connection, than just settle for a convenient fling to sate my loneliness. An idiom my mom says: "Marry in haste, repent in leisure". Many people like myself would relate to this sentiment. Great video again, I'm just adding my personal experiences to it!

So just because you’re introverted doesn’t mean that you’re socially awkward or a ”square” so to speak. I’m introvert, meaning that I enjoy a lot being alone, traveling alone, running my own small businesses etc. It makes me feel free and in control of my life. I still interact with other people and enjoy meeting new people all the time. When traveling as a foreign guy women also often show me more interest than back home. My point is that being an introvert shouldn’t be mistaken with being a guy with no initiative or social skills. I think a lot of people think they are introverts but in reality they are just socially awkward, distantant and don’t really enjoy their lone time.

Damn, I feel attacked. I claim to be a introvert, but I also feel forced into it due to life circumstances as a way to cope.

I think much of the confusion is related to the definition of introverts. I'm a introvert. As a child I was also shy and poorly socialized. As an adult I've learned to interact very effectively and work in a very people related field. Nevertheless I'm still an introvert. There are many introverted musicians and performers that don't have any issues performing in public or interacting with the public. It's what you do to recharge after the party or even after-party. An introvert may need to recharge while an extrovert would be in seventh heaven. I wish people would stop confusing shyness and social awkwardness with being an introvert.

I run a company of over 20 people. I can hold my own in large social gatherings, stand in front of 200 people and give a presentation and yet, given a choice, I MUCH prefer my own company and would NEVER choose to do any of these things in my free time. I have learned these skills for my job. As for my social life - when I was young I had a small group of very close friends, now I am older I have very deep relationship with one person. That is it. And that makes me enormously happy. So yeah, pretty sure I am an introvert.

The advantage for introverts for the screen messaging is not the anxiety of rejection. It is the ability to disengage and be alone again when social interaction becomes too tiresome. Being around people is a constant emotional drain, and so the ability to stop the drain and recharge again is a strong attraction.

If you're handsome It don't matter what you do It don't matter what you say You can be a simpleton You can be dumb She will still open her legs for them For the average below average fellas, we have to bring in more the to the table Put yourself first and focus on your missions in this life. Women shouldn't be your priority, praise the Lord

It took me years to realize I'm not an "introvert," I was just very emotionally damaged and socially stunted. I'm a natural extrovert, I love people, I love meeting new people and engaging with them. It's taken me years longer to recover from my upbringing and let my inner extrovert out.

I know I am an introvert because I have no problem spending an entire week-end by myself. It's very soothing and relaxing actually. I need my "me time". While being introvert will make it more likely you become shy and akward, it doesn't mean you have to be. You can work on your social skills. I've done a lot of work on my presentation, speech and confidence and I can be very social when I choose to. I'm quick to make friends and get people to like me. I can be the center of attention without feeling anxious. It was draining at first but it came easier and easier. All my colleagues believe me to be an extravert.

I'm an INTP, which is in theory is socially awkward. While I relied on dating apps to meet people, the secret to enjoying social interactions is expectations. When I go on a date, I don't have any pressure for a result and if the person is not a good match I either look for tells that will help me avoid that type in the future. I always choose a place I enjoy eating, because any date where I leave with a happy stomach isn't that bad. It's easy to be yourself if getting laid or married is the furthest thing from your mind. When you have no expectations, confidence comes naturally and you are more attractive to the person you'd be a good match with.

The most successful people in the world are introverts: Nick Saban, Warren Buffett, Bill Belichick, Albert Einstein, Bill Gates, JK Rowling. If you're an introvert, no need to change. Just be the BEST version of yourself

I am with you on challenging the validity of Introvert/Extrovert Tags. I have always been a Chameleon, Able to blend in any social group and make friends with anyone. Yet I always felt myself Introverted because I believed it was draining to do those sorts of things like partying or socializing..... The only thing it drains it my Bank Account

Thank you! I’m glad someone else realized this about psychological personality profiling as well! As someone “grows” as an individual, specifically those who develop their ability to more proactively approach situations throughout life with an objective perspective, I personally theorize that those who are actually growing are reshaping their personality for the plethora of scenarios they come across as they travel through life; thus adopting a balance across the personality traits that are more typically generalized to specific personality “types.”

I thought I was an introvert myself, but following your advice and asking myself about the positive social interactions, I realize that a big part of my "introversion" is the fact that I don't drink, don't like to, don't really want to, and for 90% of people, going out means going someplace and drinking, which usually changes their sober behavior and conversation will turn louder and louder as the drinks keep coming. So I think I just have a really hard time finding friends because of this, because how often do you find someone else like that?

I´am an introvert and i will never change to appeal to female nature. I have Asperger, i am an hsp so my introverttetness(?) shields me to a certain degree as a coping mechanism. Many people find me brilliant in the way i think, speak and act (I stand with my words and do what i say, this counts these days as something special i guess...). I can speak over stuff that bothers me, i am a very direct person and i know i have to sometimes tune it down but in the end, i am far better of alone. And i don´t mean it in a sad way. I just can´t give todays woman the attention they need, i just can´t stand social media, no facebook, no tiktok, twitter, only "social media" i use if youtube for consumption of information and music. We all speak about accepting people as they are but as man i have to appeal to a certain degree to female nature and have to change and be this and that. And to be honest: I find that very disrespectfull regarding to my own nature. As i always like to say: "If you can´t be alone with yourself, you have bad company." And yes, i meet less woman but when i meet a woman and find her interestring these woman are everytime "out of my league" reagarding social status. That never stopped them and me from starting a relationship. For me it always was quality not quantity. I can life with that and when people are judging me for my lifestyle i let them, i don´t have to explain myself to these people.

Introverts like me are also misanthropic and don't like people so it's very difficult to start/stay in a relationship.

This video caused a significant spike in in my self-image, and I really appreciate it Mr Grace. Many parallels I draw between our character.

This might be me missing the forest through the trees, but the "Not liking it, but still needing to be good at it," portion confuses me. Socializing isn't a chore for basic functionality like feeding and watering yourself: it's a skill than can be harshly undercut based on immutable characteristics including, but not limited to, one's psychological disposition. No one commands extroverted sorts to nurture silent placidity and patience. It's always introverts being told they need to speak up and get out there, often and in a hurry. Experiencing the slow and fast, the quiet and loud, the energetic and exhausted...it's a balancing act for any sort of healthful relationship. Telling someone the equivalent of "Push through the pain," does not help for building up an intangible muscle. Given the state of mental healthcare in the West, even your own assessment: many don't know their own personality from a viral checklist that catches their eye while browsing the internet, confusing a potential diagnosis for a definitive excuse. For those of us grappling with not only un-personable personalities but mental disabilities, the intense scrutiny with cold indifference urging us to simply try, try again is...how best to put it? It's tantamount to saying, "You need this. The fact you're physically incapable of doing it is irrelevant: the only person who can help you is yourself, who also cannot." This may be me needlessly conflating additional issues into the same topic as personality types, but it reeks of so many ill-advising sorts saying, "Just be yourself," followed by, "No, not like that."

I used to be an introvert when younger, I think. I made the opposite transition. I never wanted much to do with socializing and being around many people. I was popular with the girls but wanted nothing to do with it, so I rejected all of them and preferred to be by myself and my art/drawings. I had friends, yes, they'd need to almost drag me out of my home, otherwise, I'd not interact with anyone (I'm thankful to them for that), and went out with them occasionally and we had fun. I was okay being around people, not exactly with social anxiety, at first. That started kicking in a little later in life, as I was not prepared enough for big social circles (particularly the later years of high school), though I could still manage to hide it often. I kept myself mostly to myself, too. Then slowly I started to drift more to an open, casual kind of person that goes out of their way to have lots of connections and speak with everybody, even randoms. Especially since I started traveling, moved a couple of times with family. Went to study abroad in at least 4 different countries. Experience made me evolve to become simply more casual. Deep down, I'm still an introvert in the sense that I still prefer small, quiet, stuff. But I carry myself as an extrovert mostly and I can adapt to both ways fairly easily. Though, I'd say an introverted lifestyle would suit me the best. That's why I can go to clubs, even though I hate them. I go because of friends dragging me. And I am experienced enough to be able to carry myself and people mistake me as an easygoing kind of guy. But aside from this, I don't do many extrovert activities, and would rather not if I could entirely avoid it.

The way I would describe myself is that I'm introverted around people that I don't know well. I don't care at all for small talk or for listening to random people talk about something I don't care about. But when I'm in my friend group with people I'm very comfortable with I'm the one who talks the most, to the point where my friends tell me to shut up a lot. My issue is overcoming my introversion toward new people because once I know someone well I have no issues being social with them, I just don't know where or how to make new friends since I don't really go out much.

Really appreciate the practical advice; it's a sensible approach. The social circle game in particular is something that many people probably have not thought of if they primarily spend time at work/online, I know I didn't until recently, but I have seen this effect at work in real life in my experience and in people I know. Who you hang around does matter a lot, and more importantly, if it's people that are good to be around, you will feel good and socializing will not be draining.

The video exam is an innovative idea. You make excellent content& you're constantly improving. I really appreciate your insights.

1:00 Wow amazing initiative Alexander!! Like so far since I couldn't really interact with anyone since I was focused on clearing my entrances, I learned about this on the side while never really "practicing". I sometimes looked for relationship advice subs on reddit and thought about how I would approach it. Or sometimes just listened to the complaints or red flags found in other people in relationships, this is probably the closest thing to real life practice you could find, like you're helping a friend out. Your content evolved quite a bit since last year when I started. I hope I reach the stage where I can learn more on my own from practice and experience while having confidence that I am doing the absolute best I can to be as attractive as possible ✌Thanks for everything man!

I'm glad you went though the subject like this. Too many people here about the extremes of everything and believe they need to be identified as one or the other but it's just not true. There is so much more nuances in many of us. Me and most of my closest friends could never identify as one or the other, our actions and things that we like contradicted the "rules" of being an extrovert or introvert

I needed this. I'm not an introvert. I'm just in a rough patch. Thank you. Thank you. I'm glad somebody said this to me.

As a male/introvert/gamer and past college athlete, the #1 thing I did that changed my struggles with women (no real date until I was 19) is hitting the gym and building muscle. I have 2 main reasons for this: Being better looking and having muscle as a male quickly gets attraction from females - whether they want to admit it or not. My confidence improved with the strength, muscle, and additional attraction. I am married now, and workout at home, but I have kept up my workouts over 10 years now and don't plan on ever stopping. I also see many of my friends quickly falling into really poor shape as I go through my early 30s. If you want to drastically improve your life and become more attractive, build muscle and get strong. This may also be good for women, but I am writing for males who are struggling and introverted.

Sometimes I wonder if Introversion x Extroversion really has more to do with the Confidence Competence Loop. For the most part, I am an Introvert, but I catch myself speaking and behaving like an extrovert when I am talking about things I am confident / passionate about, even when around people I'm meeting for the first time. It could be that for "introverts" their likes an interests may be too specific and they struggle talking about topics outside their expertise. Another thing I found that helped out a lot, once you get use to speaking with people who one would consider to be high above them in the social and pay department, like surgeons, engineers, lawyers, etc (you run into a lot of them at churches - basically it's like a country club sometimes).. it becomes significantly easier talking to "regular" people.

Thanks, Alexander. This one really applies to me. Good info. And yeah, good points about whether or not someone's really an introvert; something I need to think about.

This video is GENIUSSS

I am an introvert. I am shy. It doesn't mean I'm inept in a social context and can't get past my shyness to talk to anyone I want. Your advices for "extroverts" are perfectly valid for anyone.

I'm definitely a true introvert. While I do enjoy being around close friends, I get drained after a while and need to be alone.

Love you cannel bud! Am watching them back to back atm, really interesting topics!

Great points! I'm an introvert, but certainly don't have any issues socializing when need be. I definitely prefer smaller gatherings and 1:1 (or smaller groups) over larger groups. My preference is usually solitude - as I'm usually in my mind always trying to figure out how to progress on this or that thing. And being to myself allows me to fully embrace that through studying, reading, writing, walking, etc etc. Whenever I meet new people and they ask what I like to do for fun. I usually preface it by saying "this may sound boring" lol, because a typical day for me is composed of those things. But I can honestly say, I haven't felt "alone" or "bored" when to myself over the last 4-5 years - I'm usually too busy to ever feel that way. I've dated mostly extroverted women and despite what a typical day is like for me, they usually always find me interesting. And I think part of that is because I can have a conversation about just about anything, challenge what they say, and question them during conversation to show interest in them. To them, I may not even seem introverted at all - till I explicitly tell them or they see how I go about my life. But I definitely agree with what Alex said about not dating someone too extroverted if you're an introvert. If that imbalance of energy is too high, it can stress you out. There have been times I'm sitting trying to read a book, or process a thought, and I get interrupted to be shown a FB video or something, and God that annoys me lol.

You are right, I used to think I was an introvert when I was younger. Now I love being around people. Actually became a bouncer for clubs. Not something a introvert would enjoy easily. It takes time, effort, and deep self development. You can become who you want to become if you work hard enough for it. Dont blame yourself if you are not there yet, that would be self destructive. We are all raised different and have different trauma's and experices trough life. Become a upgruaded you, through failing and learning. Love yourself, no mather what. Build confidence by loving yourself.

My neighbor is 71 years old still a introvert virgin never kissed a girl or gotten laid and never had a gf

As a legitimate introvert I want to thank you for this video, Alex. Well done and wonderfully put, I very much enjoy hearing your views on this particular matter. I like how articulate you are with not only this subject but all of your content. This made me want to become a patreon supporter. Thanks again, Alex. Keep up the great work!

I have Asperger’s though I’ve learned to hide it pretty well. Outside of work and some online D&D with people on the other side of the country, I gave up trying to socialize. It’s too draining and I found that I don’t like most most people I meet. People frustrate me beyond belief. As for dating, I’ve never felt romantic feeling for anyone beyond some crushes I had in high school. I hated they way they made me feel when I had them. I have never had a girlfriend and have yet to meet a woman I connect with.

Hmm, yes. What is this “female” creature you speak of?

Awesome idea Alex!

Middle-aged INTJ here. In my early years, I was forced to socialize and was constantly told that there was something wrong with me. I didn't dislike people. I just wanted to be left alone most of the time. When I became an adult and got out of the house I largely ceased socializing except on rare occasions. I still got bombarded with derogatory comments because I didn't like going out to bars or clubs. Now, as I approach age 40, I have totally stopped any unnecessary socializing. I've developed an intense dislike for extroverts in general. I find them irritating to no end. Being treated shabbily by extroverts for close to 4 decades tends to have that effect.

I hate it when adults are referred to as shy. Shyness means a fear of talking to strangers. I think most people outgrow this by the time they reach adulthood. Introverts were probably shy as kids, and keeping to themselves just became a hard habit to break.

I am the introvert of both types: I read books and try to improve myself, but at the same time I regulary play videogames and watch a lot of porn.

Honestly, Mr. Grace. This was one of your best. 10/10. This is why I subscribed all those years ago

As someone who has claimed to be an introvert for a long time now. You brought up good thoughts. As soon as I am finally comfy in a social gathering I light up like a torch. Interesting.

This was a fantastic video Alexander and when I read the title of the video I was worried you wouldn't state the caveats to introversion and you did! I hope this video helps lots of people. I get lots of guys asking for advice on how to change and enter new social circles and since you said in this video you did that yourself, maybe an advice video would be helpful on that topic. Lots of men get nervous trying to find and enter a new social circle due to rejection fears, what advice would you give to someone in these situations? I agree about introversion being overdiagnosed, I think most people are somewhere in the middle, I am slightly introverted but I work many hours so want to spend my free time alone with my thoughts, I find parties and big social gatherings exhausting but when I was unemployed for a couple of months I really craved social interactions as I was bored. I feel everyone just has an amount of energy and certain tasks and situations will drain certain amounts of energy from them, a party might take 3x the amount of energy out of me compared to one of my very extroverted friends. I think some of these men do use introversion as a justification as to why they can't meet women or people xxx

I'm a schizoid, in fact secret schizoid. I'm introvert, though I don't have problems about going out to interact with people, I just find most people boring after a while and I need to be my own to feel comfortable. I've never haved friends, it doesn't bother me either. I don't like to date because I consider that is a waste of time, instead I prefer to "rent" p sleeve, I also have my periods when I'm quite promiscuous. The good thing about being a covert schizoid, therefore introvert, it's that you don't need social validation, if you have fun with a lot of women, you don't care what people think about you and if you don't have fun at all with women, you don't care what people think either. My hobbies are learning foreign languages

Alexander, you are describing an 'empath'. Many, not all empaths are introverts out of necessity because we experience other people's emotions and if they are negative emotions, they are very draining. I was a super introvert, for much of my life; I didnt even like to engage people in conversation. It wasnt until I was 69 yrs old that I realized I was a damaged empath from growing up in a very traumatizing family. I embraced the empath in me and researched what that means and now I am quite extroverted...I am not the life of the party or the 'class clown' type of person, but now I do initiate a lot of engagement with other people that I meet. While I was making the transition from damaged empath to healthy empath I often was overwhelmed by positive situations because I hadnt learned to distinguish the processing needed for positive and negative emotions. And excusing myself from the situation was usually a very awkward affair. Now that I understand what is going on within my internal emotional world, I can disengage in a more congenial way where the awkwardness is non existent now.

this video sounded genuinely positive from some of the others of yours i watched. I identify with a lot of what you said, sums me up as well as the others i know.

I will say that people tend to conflate “shyness” and “introversion”, even though they are two separate things. shyness is more so a fear or anxiety towards interactions, while introversion is a more of a preference.

I'm introverted but there are some circumstances when I can be an extrovert. I took an acting class in college and found I loved being on stage. I have no problem with public speaking especially when it comes to political debates, but the rest of the time I prefer to be alone. I'm in good company. There have been many famous people just like this.

Interesting video. I felt you were speaking to me personally. I think the solution is a balance between the two. I do like my alone time, but have no social life. As you said, need to find the social circle that I would feel comfortable in.

This hit home. thanks for the video

I will say, texting can actually be a great tool for an introvert to meet a girl, as long as he isn't dependent on it. Early on however, it is pretty easy to create the type of mystery women are attracted to by taking advantage of the ambiguity that tends to come from texting.

when I was young, I was very extroverted. But as I grew older it became apparent to me that there aren't many people on the same wavelength as me. More I realized this, the more introverted I became ...

The easiest way to know if you're more introverted or extraverted is by asking yourself "how do you recharge your batteries?" Do you go off and do stuff in solitude or socialize with a bunch of people? I am moderately high in introversion and what I have learned over the past decade is that you become more comfortable with social situations by making small "wins" daily. The world is suited to extraversion because you could do the most amazing things as an introvert but if you lack the capability to share that with others you provide no value to the rest of the world. There are definetly things introverts are capable of that extraverts suck at as well so it's not entirely one-sided. The way I see it is you owe it to yourself to develop yourself in opposition to what you are comfortable with as it gives you more perspective on things and opens up alot of doors you would have missed without undergoing that change. Confidence comes from taking action and making small wins. Do not shy away from going outside your comfort zone and just live in the moment.

We beat the hacker! Whoooo

The world is made by extroverts for extroverts and most women are very extroverted. They love conversation, fun and drama, they want to tell there friends about what's going on, what happened and who they meet. They want the loud, dominant and exciting guy

Top quality video Alex!

Yo this is actually good advice. Been low-key already doing this. Tinder did yeah me how to talk and flirt with women but the few success I got didn't feel worth all that effort in the first place. The problem with me is that most of the girls I meet in these social circles are in relationships or have been scarred so badly from previous ones that they're off the market. Still really cool to know I'm already on the right track for myself.

INFJ, the extroverted introvert. I use MBTI in my practice and in my classes.

Do you have any advice for an 'Intropervert?' 🤣

I have been using the Myers Briggs system as a tool for personal growth for the past couple of years. The thing I like about it, when you look at it deeper than most do, by learning about the cognitive functions, it specifies the areas in which you have introverted as well as extroverted gifts and tendencies. Cognitively, extroversion and introversion aren't about social proclivities. It is instead referring to how you process information. For example, you may be the type to look to exploring the external world for finding meaning and philisophical/theological understanding, but when it comes to processing facts and logic, you retreat to your internal world and rely more on quiet study and meditation. Also, some people strive for connection with others and almost live through others emotions while others strive for connection with self and are much more aware and in touch with their own feelings. Is there overlap? of course, but it's telling where you tend to draw your energy from. In any case, suffice it to say that I agree with the notion that saying you are an introvert or an extrovert can be an over simplification.

It's great to made this video altough you still managed to put an equal sign between introverted and shy on occasions haha. I also think that extroverted woman are definitely not always the typical party girls. This way a relationship between and introverted man and an extroverted woman can work.

Between yourself, Rollo Tomassi and Richard Cooper, I am sorted. Thanks for all your quality content.

Being introvert doesn't mean being shy or lacking confidence. Both introverts and extroverts can be very confident people, it's just introverts tend to process their emotions and thoughts inside before sharing them with others. Extroverts do the opposite.

Extroverted people always have the advantage. They know what works and naturally have that charm. Introverts don’t have the same thing.

Thank you I needed this.

Thank you for addressing fake introverts. They are just rude people with a flashy excuse.

The error is thinking of introversion and extraversion as a “dichotomy”. It is a spectrum and it's roughly a normal distribution, that is, most people are close to the middle and few to the far ends of the distribution. (Unlike gender, where almost all people are close to one side and few are close to the middle - if you even buy the “gender is a spectrum” talk.) If you get over this and do a real personality test (like Understand Myself, costs 10 USD), you'll see they have value. If you take the Big Five traits and put everyone into 3 categories (low, middle, high), you'd have 3125 types of people. No free test I've seen has this many possible results (not even close) and it's not an upper limit, but rather a baseline for usefulness. The Understand Myself test doesn't use only Big Five, but 10 Aspects, too, and its results don't depend on low, middle, and high, but 9 ranges (exceptionally low, very low, low, moderately low, middle/average, and the same for high as for low). It's almost like stuff like this is complicated and free stuff is lacking. Who'd have guessed that.

I needed this video.

Your titles tend to break the 4th wall and I feel you made a video specifically for me

I am literally going fuc@ing crazy understanding how much attention women need! and when that primary source goes away, she moves on to the next man to psychically absorb his energy

This sounds like "you should do the same as extraverts, but you'll have limited options, you will struggle and most probably you will hate it" but stretched into 20 minutes. Manipulative behavior, or Game as cool guys say, is the only way you can get somewhere with girls nowadays, but to practice it you basically have to do the same, but the thing is as introvert type people do not like that, so advice with social circle is the only thing (in most cases) that might help to get a partner. good idea about exams, maybe it will be cool to see whether we are up to date with current dynamics, at least in theory and it will add up to great content you already sharing!

This was a great video! Although as an introvert I would like to clarify a few things I think you got a bit wrong. I would start with saying that I completely agree with introversion being overly diagnosed, especially because nowadays socializing through your phone is much more common than talking to people in real life, which can make people very shy and withdrawn. As an introvert, I am not shy. However I do enjoy socializing too. Just because I am introverted doesn't mean I prefer to be alone all the time. After all humans are social creatures, and I love having a good time with others. I dunno it just felt like you said that introverts don't like socializing, although that's probably not what you meant haha. Although like you said, I don't enjoy socializing with everyone and unless I am in a particularly good mood I will socialize with a select few that I like. With that, I also get drained socially, not because I hate people but because it just happens. Sometimes it is a bit sad because although I would like to keep socializing I find it really hard and tiring and I need to withdraw. I forgot where I was going with this, but keep up your good work, although I ain't no dude I really enjoy your videos and they helped me learn a lot!

I'm a slight introvert over extrovert, but you nailed this. My biggest frustration is the shallowness of the early dating scene, the inability to have, let alone, sustain a deep conversation, and the fact that ... if I do ... the girl is out. the. door.

This is just my 2 cents worth, but I don't believe there's any such thing as an "introvert" or an "extrovert." These are just arbitrary labels we made up to describe surface level social traits. In actuality, we're social creatures who are designed to be both outwardly social AND internal thinkers, but our specific environments growing up reward and punish specific behaviors which in turn trains us to favor certain types of behavior over others. That doesn't mean we are inherently "wired" any differently. To me, an "introvert" is just an "extrovert" who is greyrocking (eg. keeping their mouths shut to avoid the attention of the toxic people in their environment). Being outgoing in a toxic environment can have severe consequences (abusive parents, for example), so these people keep to themselves and develop rich inner worlds that satisfy a lot of their needs that socializing simply can't at that specific time. But take that "introvert" and put them in a healthy social circle that's into all the things they are and BOOM they are suddenly super outgoing. It's all about the people around you and how you cope with the bad ones. We all cope differently.

Apparently there is a personality trait known as ambivert which is between extrovert and introvert, a ambivert can sometimes switch either extrovert or introvert it just depends on the reason or situation that a person is going through, for me instance I can go from a ambivert back to a introvert but rarely a extrovert.

Great vid as always Alex. What about introvert or ambivert people who simply have old school, conservative POV on sex etc. I never liked to spent time among bigger number of people, I always preferred to do it among few good friends or just alone. When I was younger I had often situations when I was picked up by girls, often younger than me, but after getin to know them closer, learning that they had X partners - I was simply turned down by it. I always wanted to do it for the first time with a girl for whom I'd be also the first partner, but I never have met such women and the older I get, the more I understand I will never find someone like this and thus I know that I will stay alone. I'm 28 right now, I have my own house, really good job and it's starting to irritate me to being hit by women who were promiscuous in their youth, or already have kid, and when You turn someone like this down by being brutally honest that I'm not interested in person like this... oh boy, oh boy it's the same old story aka "who hurt You?" or "True/strong women must scare You", or "You wouldn't be able to handle true woman anyway"... The world I'm living is simply a clown world, I just don't care any more.

It all comes back to how attractive you are. Not attractive- a negative trait. Attractive? Mysterious and alluring..

You're assuming becoming more social is worth the hassle in the first place

I have the same problem with people talking about their ADHD

This is very good advice Alexander. Thanks.

The funny thing about the whole introvert/extrovert thing is that you rarely hear extroverts talk about being extrovert, but you hear all the time from introverts.

I disagree. As Richard la ruina said, first the playful and fun part, then deep talk, and then you can go. You need to be both