Bio Parents Found Me & Demand I Return To Them Cos They're Ready To Be Parents Now After 15 Yrs AITA

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Bio Parents Found Me & Demand I Return To Them Cos They're Ready To Be Parents Now After 15 Yrs AITA

Рет қаралды 77,052

Күн бұрын

I'm 15F in a small town in Idaho. I was adopted shortly after my birth by a lovely couple, who have raised me as their own. I also have four younger siblings, who are all their biological children, but I'm never treated any differently by them or my parents just because I was adopted. We never knew why my biological parents gave me up, but the truth is I'm happy with my life as it is now, so it never bothered me much, and I never felt the need to find the answer to that question.
Well, after 15 years, my biological parents have found a way to get in touch with me. I don't know how, considering they would've only known my first name and not my last, but I guess they had their methods. And yes, I know it's legitimately them because they showed me a baby photo that was nearly identical to one that my parents have. So it's for real.
Story 1:
AITA for choosing my adoptive family even after my bio parents spent ages trying to find me?
Story 2:
AITA for telling my cousin “at least I know my parents wanted me” when she kept making comments about me not being family
Story 3:
AITA for telling my dad I'm miserable at his house?
Story 4:
AITA to telling my wife to stop calling herself a mother
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#AITA #Parenting #Family

Пікірлер: 244

@redditoutloudrelationships1430 3 жыл бұрын

Story 1: AITA for choosing my adoptive family even after my bio parents spent ages trying to find me? Story 2: 6:02 AITA for telling my cousin “at least I know my parents wanted me” when she kept making comments about me not being family Story 3: 9:27 AITA for telling my dad I'm miserable at his house? Story 4: 13:36 AITA to telling my wife to stop calling herself a mother

@arishita 3 жыл бұрын

@TriXJester 3 жыл бұрын

You cant just give your kid up for adoption then show up years later and demand them back, thats not how it works. Kids arent something you can put on a shelf and take it down when you want it to show off to family and neighbors. Those people are abhorrent.

@williammclaughlin892 3 жыл бұрын

Uncle Phil said something very similar in fresh prince. Hit home for me because my father abandoned my mom, myself, and my younger brother for some piece of ass. Then after not hearing from him for almost 10 years. He texts me out of the blue. I let 10 years of anger out on him. Never called for our birthdays or holidays. Said he knew we needed time. Told him to lose my number and never talk to me again.

@CenerothXaris 3 жыл бұрын

Especially if you didn't even take the measures to assure access once they get adopted. Most likely only onto it due to their own regrets, nothing to do with actually wanting them back.

@paulineisme 2 жыл бұрын

It always baffles me that people fail to understand that children have their own feelings and personalities and not just flashy toys to make the parents feel happy.

@agravery223 9 ай бұрын

@@paulineismeplus the kid isn't religious and wouldn't fare well in a strict Mormon household that she wasn't raised in. It would cause conflict with any kids the bio parents now have.

@RaspberryHugs 3 жыл бұрын

Best comeback to the bio kids saying the adopted kids aren't "real family" I've ever heard is "they chose me while they got stuck with you"

@suefecteau1306 3 жыл бұрын

That was a grand commet

@untiedshoelaces2588 3 жыл бұрын

This should be engraved on to something hard that cannot be destroyed.

@Snipergoat1 3 жыл бұрын

Response is easy. "They didn't chose you. They pitied you. How many parents rejected you other than the ones that got rid of you in the first place?" could even add "You must have been one ugly baby." Gotta drive home those insecurities.

@thegayestgoth Жыл бұрын

@ joe mama I’d go “ha!” in yo face and walk away because I know yo ass was stung. A hit dog will holler!

@jcarter6213 Жыл бұрын

@@Snipergoat1 "better to be pitied than only cared for out of obligation like you"

@TheKnightofAwesomeness 3 жыл бұрын

Just because we have the same blood doesn't mean we're family...

@leslikayolney7484 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!

@safiismail497 3 жыл бұрын

yep and my family is a living proof XD

@Roin0525 3 жыл бұрын

I get tired of hearing "I made a mistake". Giving your child up for adoption is not a mistake. It's a choice. Cheating on someone is not a mistake. It's a choice. Mistakes are things like forgetting to turn off a light before you leave, forgetting to turn off AC when fall rolls around, forgetting a birthday.

@thegayestgoth Жыл бұрын

I say this about being “rude”. “Omgee ur so rude having a different opinion then me” (misspelling included). No bitch rude is bumping into someone without saying excuse me or stepping on on someone’s foot without apologizing.

@peeonthe3rdrail414 Жыл бұрын

So making the wrong choice isn't a mistake? I thought it was the very definition of a mistake...

@mauriceprice3651 Жыл бұрын

@@peeonthe3rdrail414 ...I agree with your comment. A mistake can often be the result from wrong choice. The dismissive attitude presented by some of those who make those wrong choices is what frustrates me. When those choices affect others, it is entirely up to them to decide if they can accept the results of the bad decision and move forward. Many cheating spouses or parents who give children up for adoption and post on these sites try to use take the stance of ‘my bad’, let’s revert to the state prior to the bad decision or start over. To those affected, it sometimes can result in years of emotional pain or depression. Attempting to use guilt to convince someone to take you back or begin relationships is wrong on so many levels.

@brianaschmidt910 10 ай бұрын

@@peeonthe3rdrail414the difference between a mistake and a choice is how you respond to the initial fuck up

@Scorpius7-l5h 10 ай бұрын

Differentiating between bad choices & mistakes is arguing semantics. You can mistakenly make a choice. Not a mistake it's a choice a played out trope like once a cheater always a cheater. Of course they are they cheated, but ther're plenty of them that never did it again.

@joethefanatic7505 3 жыл бұрын

The first story kind of gave off a few red flags, A baby photo isn't enough prove you're the parents.

@Liawino 3 жыл бұрын

15 years. That is a child they are trying to manipulate them.

@SergioKoolhaas 3 жыл бұрын

I would need proof with a dna test first.

@Cpost2010 3 жыл бұрын

I mean...who else would they be? Lol just random people stealing adopted kids from their homes? Sounds like a movie idea ..but I'm pretty sure that doesn't happen. I mean..if they weren't the bio's..then what was the plan? For her to willingly be kidnapped? Idk sounds farfetched. Either way..those bio parents are insane

@bananarama7319 3 жыл бұрын

@@Cpost2010 probably

@thegayestgoth Жыл бұрын

@@Cpost2010 It happens all the time

@PlessisST 3 жыл бұрын

As an adopted Father of two, let me just say that when it suited their purposes you were disposable. Now when it is in their best interests you are loved. Your adopted parents raised you from infancy. They dealt with all your issues good and bad. Your adopted parents are proud of you for your choices. I know that I am.

@TipsyStrawberry 3 жыл бұрын

I'm wondering by what means the biological parents took to find her since she said the adoption center would not give them her information 🤔

@chaosreaver3597 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, even in open adoptions most of the information is confidential, they would have had to hired a private investigator (and scummy one at that, most reputable PIs wouldn't touch a case tracking down a child), they couldn't of done it any other way. All they had was a name and photo of OP as a baby, you're not tracking down someone on social media with that little to go on. I mean most names aren't exactly unique and they had no guarantee OP's was even the same one anymore, and photo of baby isn't much use, all that will tell you is eye and skin colour as hair colour, assuming any was visible in the photo, can change dramatically from when a baby is born to when they get even a few months older.

@faithlesshound5621 4 ай бұрын

They live in Idaho, where there are fewer than two million people, so it can't be that difficult for an investigator to find an adopted child in small towns where everyone knows everyone else's business.

@lolothekiddo6700 3 жыл бұрын

These are what get me through these 13+ hours at work

@19midnightsun87 3 жыл бұрын

13 hours, bruh...I'm with you brother.

@ian7064 3 жыл бұрын

Story 3: NTA. It's not the responsibility of kids to ensure that these forced blended families work. That's the job of the parents. Trying to force the kids to get along only creates resentment

@tinamoul 3 жыл бұрын

Okay, but how else do you make the family's blend. Sounds like dad is trying, I don't think there are any a**holes in that story.

@thegayestgoth Жыл бұрын

It’s also fuckin weird. Adults who try to force adult responsibilities onto children are psychotic.

@thegayestgoth Жыл бұрын

@@tinamoul How do you dissolve sand into water? You don’t. You can’t. You can’t force people to get along.

@sgm8265 9 ай бұрын

It sounds like OP, being an only child, has grown up in a more quiet space. She is not used to the chaos her father's house has become. I certainly understand not being comfortable in a house full of people where there is no escape, no space for privacy. Father could be more understanding of OP's feelings instead of forcing the issue or he could come up with plausible solutions. She isn't a brat just overwhelmed.

@DanielH212MC 3 жыл бұрын

An accidental pregnancy and birth after 9 months vs 15 years of raising and caring. There's no question which parents are the actual parents here.

@Orbitalmercury Жыл бұрын

My elder sister or half sister is 16 months older than me and was adopted out , mums fiance ran away and she was pressured heavily by society and others in the mid 60's as it wasn't a good thing to be a single mum. Anyway my sister tracked us down when she was 24 and I was 23. She's my best friend and always looks after her little Bro , it's wonderful having my big sis in my life. But this all worked out fine as both sides were looking for each other. Now she's 57 and I'm 56 and I still feel as happy now as I did 33 years ago when she found us.

@alliekingsley7919 3 жыл бұрын

Oh my god, that last story almost had me in tears for the wife. I really, really hope that was a troll post because holy shit. My mom lost a baby at around the same gestation period and time after birth. (28 weeks pregnancy, I think, and 12 days alive.) The grief from losing my sister was so bad that she never was able to enjoy being pregnant with my brother a year later (accident), didn't bond with him properly as an infant and always felt guilt. When she had me, several years later (also accident, but like, mega accident as mom was on birth control AND they apparently used protection, and yet here I am.) my brother was proof she could have a healthy baby and even though she tried really hard not to play favorites, she doted on me as the baby in some ways, while basically giving HIM whatever he wanted to stop his whining. We both grew up knowing about our older sister who had passed away, and mom always had a sadness about her when I was growing up. I cannot imagine telling someone *ESPECIALLY SOMEONE I CLAIMED TO LOVE*, who'd carried a baby for 32 weeks, then had the child live for FIVE DAYS that they weren't actually a parent. Had the baby been born healthy, then got to go home, only to die in a car accident on the way home from the hospital would they be saying that shit???

@ResolvedRage 3 жыл бұрын

I can see where he's coming from, it's like if an older woman walked around with a baby doll and introduced it as a child to anyone she met, it just makes people uncomfortable. I understand the pain is very real but she has no filter and just blurts out publicly to everyone about her baby that passed on. It's okay to talk about if someone brings up children but it seems really unhealthy to be making posts about it online or just to bring it up first with friends or family.

@chateau-clone9250 2 жыл бұрын

Like that's what I was thinking??? That guy is so cruel to her

@melvinshelton8448 2 жыл бұрын

@@ResolvedRage You're right. Stop thinking about it. This is a thorough mind-fuck. Don't feel too stupid. I don't know how stupid you are at baseline, but the reaming you took very likely left you incapable of thinking accurately aboutbut a lot of people in your spot take the first quick choice: they automatically assume they could (alone, of course) have kept everything bad from happening, if only they had [fill in the blank]. Hint: It doesn't really matter what you use to fill in the blank. You might have spotted it before they had a chance to...please let me coin a phrase... rip your guts out. I think you were functioning at a tremendous disadvantage; You were not sure you knew what had happened to you, or what you needed to do then. Now, I am not sure how much you have improved since that time.ad happened to you, and what you need to do about it. I'm glad you wrote for help because I think you need it; after what you went through, anybody would. If you are associated with a school/university, you can get a counselor through them. You can also do it via your insurance company, or your county mental health center. Your physician may be able to direct yousn ugy would.e expected

@abbie_joan 2 жыл бұрын

yeah that guy was an ass that girl needs a better partner

@RoraPea 3 жыл бұрын

Last story: It’s inappropriate to keep mentioning it. He’s and ass but I can see how he feels. Doesn’t need to be mentioned every time. Just say yes I had a child, Move on. If people get uncomfortable about the topic move on. And she’s a mom nonetheless she had a child and loved it for as long as she could. All in all everyone low key sucks in a sense imo. Making people uncomfortable (more than one time not knowing inappropriate and appropriate time. If everyone is in a good mood and they ask then you say my child died, ruins the mood.) not cool, and then the husband dismissing his wife as a mom. They just need to leave each other if they can’t comprise on this. Cause he seems insensitive and she has too much baggage on her that he can’t seem to handle.

@henrylivingstone2971 3 жыл бұрын

Regarding the dead infant story, the OP definitely is an asshole. It’s her means of coping with a traumatic and tragic experience and yet he expects her to “get over it, it’s been a decade”. So? Time is not always the means of forgetting. What an absolute monster, he doesn’t deserve to be in any relationship if he thinks such a callous attitude towards a child having passed is an acceptable form of retort when in conversation with the deceased child’s mother.

@SnowyWolborg 3 жыл бұрын

Story #1: NTA. As a parent, you can't walk out on someone for their entire life, then call them selfish for any reason. You don't get a do-over for failures like this. OP's parents abandoned her, and she wouldn't be TAH even if she denied one of them a kidney if they were dying. They are entitled to exactly nothing. Story #2: NTA. OP isn't receiving favoritism. She worked harder for a scholarship that the cousin was denied, and she is more attentive to the grandparents, which was why she go the better car. The cousin is acting like she deserves more, but has done nothing to earn more. Story #3: NTA. The step-sister is antagonistic toward OP literally everytime they meet. It sucks that the dad and stepmom can't control her, but OP shouldn't have to deal with that noise. OP's dad chose to bring the step-sister into the picture by marrying her mom, but OP did not choose to accept her, and she doesn't have to.

@starbird3939 3 жыл бұрын

Story 1 - NTA These parents dumped OP to save face and seem to only want OP back to keep up appearances that they are a family. The OP isn’t “their child” up instead is “A child” to these people.

@matthewclark7885 3 жыл бұрын

Being adopted myself, I can say I would not only block their numbers, but would then call a lawyer to start a cease and desist letter, just in case they decided to continue, or even report them to police for attempted kidnapping if it continued

@spacexghost888 3 жыл бұрын

Wow. If I wast the last OP’s wife I would leave

@19midnightsun87 3 жыл бұрын

As someone who is trying to start a family with my wife and it's not working out too great until now, I am utterly disgusted how you could throw away such a gift a child is for so trivial reasons like freaking religion or even the family. If you have to fear they abandon you, you are better off without them anyway.

@brianaschmidt910 10 ай бұрын

No. Don't be disgusted that they gave the blessing away. Be disgusted that they think they have the right to still call themselves 'parents' to op and demand she return with them. They made the single best choice for op by giving her up to be adopted. If it was because of religion, then it's good before they did damage by constantly choosing their religion over op if they had kept her.

@19midnightsun87 10 ай бұрын

@@brianaschmidt910 I guess that is true, you are right.

@starbird3939 3 жыл бұрын

Story 4 - YTA OP sounds so callous to not just their wife but the child that they lost too. I frankly would question staying with OP if I got told this bullocks.

@piratewithamachete3301 2 жыл бұрын

I have to say I do see where he is coming from. She brings up the baby to strangers, which would be uncomfortable to everyone. The baby died almost a DECADE. Wanting to remember the baby is one thing, but constantly bringing them up in conversation is another

@JonathanJoestarJuicefest 2 жыл бұрын

No one is obligated to deal with some broad's mental illness.

@snazzyninja6798 3 жыл бұрын

I don’t think that Op’s wife need to get over her child’s death. She does need therapy though. I also understand the situation from his side. I mean, why does she need to talk about her dead child at every opportunity? Especially in conversation with other people and making them feel uncomfortable.

@anders8204 2 жыл бұрын

Reading the first title I can safely say already that no adoptive children are ever at fault for choosing the people who actually raised them over the people who gave them away/abandoned them.

@boybawang1981 3 жыл бұрын

Story 1: They just wanna marry u off as a sister-wife to a family member!! RUN FOREST, RUN!! Story 2: I woulda said, "look man....I'm good, u and ur fam can have a great time together!! Count me out...good luck & good night, DAUGHTER OUT"!!

@ladytalksalot4097 3 жыл бұрын

Sister-wife is a bit of a stretch. Though I agree they messed up.

@_Fizel_ 3 жыл бұрын

@@ladytalksalot4097 Having heard the horrors of the Mormon religion, it's not much of a stretch.

@boybawang1981 3 жыл бұрын

@@ladytalksalot4097 They're Mormons from the Great State Of Utah....it's a possibility, that's all I'm saying!! Or marry her off to cousins, if they're Gypsies!!

@boybawang1981 3 жыл бұрын

@@_Fizel_ I know right!!?

@ladytalksalot4097 3 жыл бұрын

@@_Fizel_ I've heard them too, and statistically, it is a stretch. There's always a few crazies, but the Church kinda makes a big deal about agency and marriage being a big part of that. As relatively young as Mormons get married, it's still a rule to wait until *both* parties are adults, and both choose the other as their partner. And the whole "sister-wife" thing is just as gross to them as it is anyone else. There's a reason they left polygamy in the 1800s.

@Kromush1995 3 жыл бұрын

I swear to god, these AH stories (where the OP is clearly NTA) are start to getting dumber and dumber by each day.

@TheSergio1021 3 жыл бұрын

Need that delicious reddit karma

@BrotherBarakiel996 3 жыл бұрын

Its a ploy for reddit karma

@BraveryWing26 9 ай бұрын

I love way the OPs handled things in the first story.

@jlp2061 3 жыл бұрын

#1 sketchy... I'd do my own independent dna testing on them.

@jamesscott4574 3 жыл бұрын

Dude you're one of my favorite ask reddit guys for putting in just that extra bit of effort into your vids. Namely using proper words and "wording" the abbreviations. Like in a cheating vid the post will say "AP" but you'll have entered "affrair partner" in TTS. It's good for catching on to the terms. Or just making sure you use alternate words (frick instead of fuck) and not letting the TTSD butcher the words.

@BIGEAGLEDUDE 3 жыл бұрын

With the first story it seems to me your parents didn't want to go through the whole shame and disappointment from both sides of their families in addition to having their whole religion basically banish them and the family do the same thing. So it seems like it would be better off if you go no contact for now and probably tell them maybe after 10 years we can re-establish this and relook at the whole situation but the moment you're the strangers to me. In addition you may want it also get therapy for just the shock of finding out of your existence. My advice be prepared for calls from the family of both your parents they will try to contact you and to some degree. But honestly I think they have a lot of regret and how they went about basically giving you up for adoption and keeping you a secret from their families and the community. Just let them try to work throughout their own feelings and focus on yours.

@Mecbladeify 3 жыл бұрын

They wouldn't have been banished. I'm LDS aka Mormon. Its looked down on but has become pretty common for these things to happen. The stigma is bad especially in Utah but the way they handled this was disgusting. Mostly just families are the pressure that comes, the religion does not teach to treat people bad. People just interpret it that way and are idiots.

@BIGEAGLEDUDE 3 жыл бұрын

@@Mecbladeify true that's why I said that even though the religion may not be but there are some people who do take the religion too far and the parents maybe one of those types who have family members that take it too far.

@Mecbladeify 3 жыл бұрын

@@BIGEAGLEDUDE Definitely the case there. I have no idea what these people were thinking. Even from the perspective from someone from their religion, it makes zero sense.

@BIGEAGLEDUDE 3 жыл бұрын

@@Mecbladeify that's why I said go low contact for a while and focus on your mental health and maybe 5 or 10 years down the road just revisit the whole thing. Because this is not going to change and it's only going to get worse. If she doesn't set boundaries with them ASAP and so does her parents

@velvetdarksoul8741 3 жыл бұрын

@@Mecbladeify *lives in Utah* Even how work and school treats you is based on religion

@396375a 2 жыл бұрын

Story #3, what is wrong with that guy? Wife deserves someone so much better than him!!!

@Sparkbomber 3 жыл бұрын

First story: NTA, those bio parents are cult members by their own words... And their story is fishy AF, given what's known of the mormons. OP needs to stay with her actual family and cherish them. Second story: yeah, you get what you fucking deserve if you keep pushing. That brat has the genes, but doesn't bother to be family. Third story: Shit dad wanting to play happy families while having way too many kids for the house he's got. OP can cut him out. Fourth story: Okay, that OP is a cruel, insensitive and self-obsessed prick. His wife needs to divorce that monster and get some grief counselling.

@BIGEAGLEDUDE 3 жыл бұрын

It seems to me like this man the third story basically is forcing his daughter to suppress her feelings to please his ego especially since he knows his daughter has no space of her own in his house and he married a woman with three kids and had two more with her. My advice to the original poster is simple you may need to go no contact with your father for a while and focus on your mental health. Also tell your mom that you want to go to counseling and you want to be with her all the time just so you can have some time for yourself and room to breathe. It's a lot easier for you to be with your mom than is your dad. And if your father is forcing you to take on the emotional role of suppressing your feelings he may end up driving you to the Grave before your time.

@TheKnightofAwesomeness 3 жыл бұрын

My thing is if she's 15 can't she just tell a judge I want to stay with my mom full-time now?

@BIGEAGLEDUDE 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheKnightofAwesomeness actually she's at that age with her words going to be taken more seriously. Even if the judge doesn't want her to she's going to do it anyway period and which is worse a child basically sacrificed in that mental health because the parent won't see it from their point of view or a child basically saying I'm not going to do this even if I'm forced.

@TheKnightofAwesomeness 3 жыл бұрын

@@BIGEAGLEDUDE Yeah I know the court system starts to take the children opinion into account when they get a certain age. So she would have some control on their custody arrangement if she would talk to a judge

@djdomain 3 жыл бұрын

Feels like OP's father is the most common type of bad parent, one that sees their kids as dolls. He wants to happily play house with his blended family and his bio-daughter is screwing it up by having her own emotions and opinions instead of playing along.

@jamieboer3466 3 жыл бұрын

the guy saying adulthood is understanding the joker might have a point greatly misunderstood the character lmao.

@dm9078 3 жыл бұрын

I know hindsight is 20-20 but OP’s parents should never have let her meet these people alone. NTA Last story OP is the a holes 110% I hope she dumps that jerk right now

@princesslulu5795 3 жыл бұрын

4 bedrooms is not enough space for a family with 5 kids (6 if you count OP)! They need to get a house with more rooms & stop making kids

@michaelplunkett8059 2 жыл бұрын

??? Nobody can share, like parents do??? Boy's bedroom, girl's bedroom, parent's bedroom, marble baby nursery or oldest child room.

@timtompkins8774 2 жыл бұрын

Last story: YTA the story pissed me off because I had an older brother who died 30 days after he was born. It's been 35 years and it's still affects my mom and yes usually we include him when we talk about how many kids my mom had. This guy's insensitive and doesn't know what it's like

@britc.3536 3 жыл бұрын

S1: Honey, no. You're not the AH, they are and they always will be. They came from a very cult like religion and while that doesn't change their actions, you are correct. They aren't your family, they're just your creators. In hindsight, I would unblock one of them and send this: "You gave me up for adoption and that was the best thing you could ever have done. I owe you both nothing and you do not have the right to call yourselves my parents as you have not put in the time, effort, and pain that it takes to raise a child. Instead of choosing me, you chose your religious family and what their connections could bring you. Now, if you want to have a place in my life, you will wait like patient adults until I am ready to speak to you. Shame on you, {bio parent's names}, shame on you for trying to GUILT TRIP a child that wants nothing to do with you BECAUSE of your actions." Your adoptive parents are your mom and dad, OP. Don't waste your breath on them. S3: Your dad has no right to complain when he isn't making an active effort in making his own Chile feel welcomed in her own home. He's upset because YOU aren't making this easy on HIM. Don't look back OP. NTA.

@zarpof3811 2 жыл бұрын

The last story about a child that died shortly after birth and is still mourned 10 years later. That's not healthy. Dead people rarely come up in conversation unless it was recent or if you're reminiscing about a good time. If someone asks me how many family members I have I tell them how many are alive. The wound is not recent, if a wound from 10 years ago still hurts it needs to be looked at by a trained professional.

@TH-hy9kr 2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely disgusting people in that first story. They need to leave her alone.

@BIGEAGLEDUDE 3 жыл бұрын

With the Second Story I get the feeling that the cousin is pretty much one of those types that don't wants to be the center of attention because she has the only biological connection to her grandparents. In addition I also get the sense that maybe your cousin's parents needs to probably get their daughter into counseling and see why is she like this. My advice try to tell your mom maybe I said it in a harsh way but you cannot deny that it was the truth. In addition maybe tell your aunt and uncle that they need to get their daughter into counseling otherwise your grandparents may her out of the will and you guys as well.

@jorgenitales412 3 жыл бұрын

the only way for the cousin to be this insecure would be because maybe she isn't what she says she is. maybe she is an affair baby but her parents managed to hide it.

@purpledragon2442 3 жыл бұрын

@@jorgenitales412 sounds like she’s dealing with something. I doubt someone would be the openly nasty in front of all their family unless something was going on. If she is an affair child, I can’t imagine how hurtful OPs snap back really was.

@kylemcdoyl908 2 жыл бұрын

Last story NTA: its been 10 years and you were BARELY a mother. So stop bringing up the child and making people feel uncomfortable...MOVE ON ALREADY!!!😒 If the husband decides to leave because she failed to move on, I wouldn't blame him AT ALL.

@RenniganEagle 3 жыл бұрын

The last guy isn't an a**hole, he has a point, he just went about it in the absolute worst way possible.

@BrotherBarakiel996 3 жыл бұрын

No he definitely is. Like thats her child, it wasn't a stillborn, the baby was alive for almost a week. Like the story has to be fake. Like i know people can be cold but jesus.

@SUPERVEGITO896 3 жыл бұрын

@@BrotherBarakiel996 it was 10 years ago not yesterday she need therapy and he it seemed like he tried to talk to her about this but my stance is they both suck

@harmfulmelody5958 3 жыл бұрын

@@BrotherBarakiel996 recently loosing a new born child and being sad and upset makes sense, still acting like the baby was just lost about 10 years after it happened is a clear sign therapy is required and enabling that behavior could easily make it worse.

@Tijggie82 3 жыл бұрын

@@harmfulmelody5958 some things you'll never get over. Sure, therapy will help you navigate the world while carrying the pain, but you'll never be able to get rid of that pain. And to pretend a mother who carried her child for almost 8 months and cared for her child another 5 days is not a mother because... Her child didn't live long enough or something? That's just cruel.

@harmfulmelody5958 3 жыл бұрын

@@Tijggie82 it would be very cruel of the wife to keep bringing up the kid if OP had made the kid, can't exactly grieve a lost friend/kid/relative for years after the loss and have nobody question why you haven't gotten therapy to help cope yet.

@tracym8952 3 жыл бұрын

The first story sounds fake. Why would this adoptive family allow a 15 year old girl to go out with her "real parents" unattended. She's never met these people. Like wtf?

@DonnaLRC 3 жыл бұрын

re: story 4 My Son Jason was born by C-section on 7/27/1976. He lived 22 hours. YES, she, like me, is a Mother. The pain will never go away, but you kind of get used to it being a part of your life.. And the anniversary is an especially hard day. YTA.

@TheKnightofAwesomeness 3 жыл бұрын

Then can you enlighten me... I don't know why, but I feel like she's still grieving and it's been over a decade, I'm not saying she should forget, or get over it in that regard, but is her mindset "healthy"?

@britc.3536 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheKnightofAwesomeness I mean, I'm not a therapist or anything, but I don't think it is. It honestly reminded me of a post a while back where the OP was infertile and a family member of hers used the death of her own child as a crutch to get what she wanted. Not saying that the DW of this story is doing that but perhaps grief counseling may help her. Also, let her have that one day OP. That's time for herself and for her baby.

@Someguy_watchin 3 жыл бұрын

I would like to understand this too to get both views to this subject

@JasmineSmith-vt2jc 3 жыл бұрын

@@TheKnightofAwesomeness There is not set grieving period and many people who have lost somebody special to them state they never get over it, they just learn to live life with the pain. Grief is different for everybody, however, I do think that she should speak to a professional about her pain (but I think that most people who have lost somebody special to them should)

@joshiesushi 3 жыл бұрын

@@JasmineSmith-vt2jc Its also probably harder to get through grief when your own partner doesn't let you grieve. Her partner seems to not care about her loss, even calling the baby an "it", in his post. Kinda disgusting.

@BraveryWing26 9 ай бұрын

And I love how EVERYONE called out the last OP.

@velvetdarksoul8741 3 жыл бұрын

If someone's been grieving a baby for over 10 yrs i would have left a long ass time ago, that ain't normal why didn't she get therapy 10 yrs ago

@SashaMkai 3 жыл бұрын

You going to pay for it?

@SUPERVEGITO896 3 жыл бұрын

@@SashaMkai it’s been 10 year I think she could have payed for therapy she chose not to

@peterjeffery8495 3 жыл бұрын

Bio Kid in story 1 needs to tell her Unreal Parents to go pound sand. They are sketchy. Who knows, they either want to turn her over to white slavers or the Mormon church, neither of those options are appealing. Dad (YTA) for throwing your kids and step kids into a blender then pouring the mess into an overstuffed/undersized house...dude you have seen to many episodes of the Brady Bunch. Sorry Pa you can't force this stuff. This is your mess. Accept that you Daughter doesn't want to or need to get jiggy with her step family or life in a barracks. LET HER ALONE!

@lorifiedler13 3 жыл бұрын

At least in Brady Bunch, sibs were all sharing a room instead of with strangers.

@willthehero7747 3 жыл бұрын

who tf do they think they are? they can't just leave you and walts back into your living happy. wtf is their problem

@cheskydivision 3 жыл бұрын

Loosing a child is heart breaking but there are ppl that milk the loss for attention. She can grieve but always bringing it up is not necessary.

@BrotherBarakiel996 3 жыл бұрын

That last guy has to be a troll. But he could be verry much of a extreme sociopath

@harmfulmelody5958 3 жыл бұрын

if the last guy isn't a troll the wife sounds like she's in serious need of mental help as to my knowledge acting like a baby was lost recently a decade after it happened isn't normal or healthy.

@shezza66 11 ай бұрын

I lost a child to still birth over 30 years ago and still think of him even with my other kids every day

@mariwa5286 7 ай бұрын

The fact that his adoptive parents were nice to him would make me take the decision to not come back too, but still have them in my life since they didn't just selfishly gave him away and never cared. They made their mistake but I think it's way too late to expect him to just come back like nothing happened

@christophera4527 2 жыл бұрын

The last story. The guy is the asshole. But to all the people saying how sad it is, last I checked if it isn't born is just a "clump of cells" So which is it? A baby? Or a clump of cells? Can't have it both ways.

@FSAthe1st 3 жыл бұрын

AITA 4: My sister had something similar happen to her. Same birth, same infant loss. Same callous and cold hearted "it's been years, get over it" bullshit. That pain never goes away... Never. IT's been twenty years, and she's had kids before and since, bit she's never forgotten, and it still gets to her at times. And the guy who "it's been 10 years"'d her, he's no longer around. He still has contact with his son, but he killed their relationship stone cold dead that day he said that to her. And I suspect this one will end up in divorce as well. I can't imagine how painful it is to hear your own husband dismiss your feelings for your loss in such a fucked up fashion.

@Someguy_watchin 3 жыл бұрын

In my Opinion the last guy NTA. I understand he could have went about it differently and yes she Was a mother and could be again, but constantly bringing up your passed baby from nowhere is a little depressing. What will she tell her future kids? If my family where to pass I would morn but I realize I must stay strong and keep their memory. Also OP could have been more light about it

@TheSergio1021 3 жыл бұрын

Agree completely. If I was the father, I would eventually have to realize that, just like the mother, I did not have the opportunity to BE a father. Yes, I had a baby, but was I able to be that baby's father? No. It is sad, but at a certain point, you have to accept it. I think OP should have explained it like that maybe.

@sinisterxburn 2 жыл бұрын

I was beginning to think i was the only one here with this opinion. Getting tattoos and calling herself a non is overboard. I agree he could have been nicer but she really needs to learn to move with the memory rather than let it hold her still

@alphaai8888 2 жыл бұрын

I'm Mormon, and you know what, I don't care if you had that kid outside of your marriage, guess what, the only people who give a crap are the, "I'm holier than thou" Mormons, though, if their from Utah, then they probably had parents like that. I'm not a die hard Mormon, I believe that there are exceptions to every rule, certain circumstances.

@nicknitro86 2 жыл бұрын

A lot of people go through a lot of things, doesn't mean they're deserving.

@starbird3939 3 жыл бұрын

Story 2 - NTA Sounds like the cousin has misplaced anger.

@hurricanev6 7 ай бұрын

Why do people think that being mean and being right are two different things? 🤔

@carmenbarrera80 3 жыл бұрын

Oh history #2 OP's dad preferred his new family and later he is shocked why OP doesn't want to there with him. He probably wanted OP to be their free babysitter and a servant for his new wife. He needs to grow a pair since obviously his new wife took the ones he had.

@starbird3939 3 жыл бұрын

Story 3 - NTA Being cooped up in a cramped house, and forced to share rooms with someone who is frankly heartless would depress anyone.

@MogulMogul 7 ай бұрын

Remember its not "Blood is thicker than water" its "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb"

@KE-hr4sb 3 жыл бұрын

Story 2: Cousin makes a rude remark. OP maturely ignores it. Cousin makes a second, more aggressive remark. Grandpa shuts her down. Cousin, still not getting the hint, makes a third snotty remark. OP puts her in her place. Mom: "You need to apologize to Cousin, that was rude!" Sure. After Cousin apologizes to OP for insulting her three times.

@lorifiedler13 3 жыл бұрын

Tell mom you will apologize when cousin does.

@absolut_dre 3 жыл бұрын

Last story OP is 1000% right. His wife is milking the whole "dead baby" thing and is looking for sympathy points, nothing. But of course you have the irrational in their feelings calling this man TA

@strikeforce1500 3 жыл бұрын

1st story: NTA. I would get something like "oh. Let's have a good relationship as friends" or something like that. Not literally "Hey, I'm ready to be your parent NOW, so get your butt here and you better be happy". So, no. I don't blame you for not wanting to be with them, especially now that Mormons are more cult like than anything else. Still, they sound sketchy af. 2nd story: NTA. Sounds like cousin is jealous, but damm, what a beach that cousin is. 3rd story: NTA. It's bad he got hurt, but you have to worry about yourself, especially having to deal with an entitled female dog of a sister. About the "you should had told me sooner", he would probably dismiss you, proof of that is later on when he does dismiss your feelings and that you need to be a "BiGGRr PerSoN". 4th story: YTA. You are being an insensitivity D-head, you should get her into therapy, she needs it.

@justinchristoph3725 Жыл бұрын

Story 1: I think those biological parents are confusing adoption with foster care. Once you give a child up for adoption and they are adopted by someone, they are legally no longer theirs.

@michaelplunkett8059 Жыл бұрын

Their story fails. A temporary placement would NOT have legal ability to be adopted. They signed away parental rights when they surrendered baby. Presume lack of other children has made them reconsider rash actions of youth.

@GymLeaderEd 3 жыл бұрын

The comment at 15:40 almost made me cry. The wife deserves better than this POS. Honestly, like if one of my kids died and my SO said this crap to me I'd kick them to the curb. I'm a dude I can only imagine how much harder it'd be after carrying the baby in your belly for all that time

@heatherdimsey136 3 жыл бұрын

My sympathies to the poor mum that lost her baby at 32 weeks. In my opinion Once a baby is conceived you are a parent. It doesn't matter when/how a baby dies, it still had a heartbeat. A premie can survive from 24 weeks, sometimes but very rarely earlier. My youngest was born at 36 weeks and spent the first couple of weeks in neonatal, only to loose her 29 yrs later. I suffered 3 miscarriages, but they are still my children. As for the 15 yr old who was adopted, stick to your guns. You should not be coerced by your biological parents to accept them. My brother and I were also adopted, so I know what you are going through.

@Twilight24682 7 ай бұрын

The cousin in the second one reminds me of my cousin I was adopted and I don't think she considers me family she has never said anything but she hardly talks to me or wants go get to know me I don't blame OP for snapping

@ericaallisonc 3 жыл бұрын

Seeing how important "family" is to mormons, I'm shocked they put the kid up for adoption and didn't just get married right then and there. At least that is what would have happened in my old chapter...

@Captain077 Ай бұрын

I’m LDS and say it’s good you blocked them.

@lorifiedler13 3 жыл бұрын

I always wonder if bio parents needed you for something medical.

@waltersnowden7686 2 жыл бұрын

With the last story yah it’s sad and sucks that happened to her but the guy is right she needs to stop bringing it up constantly make peace with what happened and move on

@lisakaz35 3 жыл бұрын

Story 1: is this some kind of religious fixation like ancestry or the Quiver ppl? Is that why they thought they could just take OP?

@zardox78 11 ай бұрын

Seems like the bio-parents from story 1 are operating on a delusional level, like they don't quite understand how reality works. They never took 5 fucking minutes to consider the foregone conclusion that the daughter they gave up would be completely accustomed to her family (and her whole world) as she knew it. How could anyone be that oblivious to the obvious? And she's 15. It's far too late to play the game of house they seem to have been envisioning in their fantasies. Hell, she's likely only 3 years away from moving out of her adoptive parents' house. Could've been the perfect amount of time to _slowly_ build up a relationship with her and gently sidle their way into her life. If they'd had an ounce of patience and common sense, everybody could've been a winner in this situation. But we seem to be dealing with some serious arrested development here, and it sure as hell ain't on her end.

@daveray5655 7 ай бұрын

To be fair to them, they were in a really bad position, and from what it sounds like, they probably just saved their kids life by giving her up. Being born in a hyper strict religion can turn dangerous and they didn't have any real resources to help the kid or themselves, how would they even bring this up without being kicked out and possibly disowned and homeless? It must have been heartbreaking for them, and they must have burned a lot of their life to just get into a position to see their kid again. I could see if they went to this length for this long, then they must really be genuine because there is no other reason for them be there if they really didn't care. I think blocking them was too much. If I were OP I would explain to them why it's not okay of them to assume I'll leave my adopted family but that they would be given a chance to play a role in her life and let that reality sink into them. They probably lost a lot and are still grieving from the pain. Of course, sometimes people everywhere are stupid and every option sucks, but that's just how the world is.

@catT5236 3 жыл бұрын

#3 I think stones might have more empathy than this guy! Seriously, WTAF?! His wife probably has ptsd from watching her baby die. He doesn't get to dictate how she feels about the loss of her child. Also, yeah, plenty of parents who have experienced loss like that do in fact tell their living kids about their siblings that died - I personally know at least three couples who have done so & it's not caused any issues only made their living kids more empathetic.

@brianaschmidt910 10 ай бұрын

Yeah, I read the title and most of the time when the op isn't being an ass is when the person's grief is overwhelming everything. (Especially other people's celebrations), so even a miscarriage while a tad more understandable, it's still a dick move. Being like this for a child that had been born for 32 weeks. (A month is 3-4 weeks so 9+ months. That is almost a year old baby) yeah, this op's wife should either get this fool into marriage counseling, or she should leave him. Edit to add: 1. Op mentioned how he thinks tattoos are trashy. In relation to a person grieving for her child? Yeah, he sounds judgemental. 2 (and more importantly) I made a mistake. The child was not born, but still, 9+ months? That was an overdue baby. Why did she not schedule a C-section? (My baby sister was born this way, so I'm a bit surprised) not blaming her for the death of her child, but still, I'm just surprised. Op is still an ass and I haven't finished

@leslikayolney7484 3 жыл бұрын

That last story ran me hot! She needs to punch that guy in the face! Cold hearted jerk! That okie girl lost her baby.. if my son had died after a few days I would have ended myself. No way to get over it! I’m fuming...

@absolut_dre 3 жыл бұрын

It bothers me the people that give their child up for adoption aren't treated like the NATIONAL HEROS they are! These are the real MVPs of life people! Being big enough to admit you cannot take care and provide for the child you are having, so you decide to sacrifice your own selfishness and give up that child to someone who can provide! To add, adopted kids need to stop looking at their bio mom as some sort of evil person for giving them up. I slightly understand feeling like they didn't want you, but it is bigger than that and you should use your brain to do the math on that point!

@vincentcosey4918 3 жыл бұрын

Okay but this is a completely different situation. The biological parents in story 1 literally abandoned her at an adoption center because they're in a cult. Like dude, in that situation the Mormon church that they associated with along with the entirety of their friends and family from both sides of the aisle and also the community as well as literally all Mormons would have shunned them for having a child out of wedlock they cared more about being shunned then the child that they were about to have so yeah...

@vincentcosey4918 3 жыл бұрын

Oh yeah and not to mention that if they REALLY wanted to have a relationship with their child they could have gone through foster care instead of going through adoption that way they would have had their legal parental rights and they would have been able to have that child in their lives once they officially became established.

@absolut_dre 3 жыл бұрын

@@vincentcosey4918 Regardless of the situation they are still heros.

@vincentcosey4918 3 жыл бұрын

@@absolut_dre oh yeah I completely understand what you're saying but I just wanted to clarify that they didn't give her up because they didn't think they couldn't thake care of her, they gave her up because they cared more about their reputation than the actual child. Like I said Mormon to do stuff like have children out-of-wedlock get shunned. It just really feels like that they wanted her to be their kid when it was convenient for them and that's just not how parenthood works. they put her up for adoption which was laudable due to them being Mormon alone😂 but that part was unintentional lol

@hankogle6858 3 жыл бұрын

Doesn’t sound like the bio parents care about the well being of child. If I gave a child up for adoption. I wouldn’t destroy their life to get them back

@karma13-7 3 жыл бұрын

I got lucky with being the 777th person to hit like. I love these stories because it makes me thankful for my caring family.

@KiLlACaMrOn94 3 жыл бұрын

Story 3: All I know is, the dad is NTA.

@gbgb473 3 жыл бұрын

First one: nta.

@outstretchedwings 2 жыл бұрын

I have to agree with the commenters on story #1: the timing seems awfully...odd. Why now?

@KiLlACaMrOn94 3 жыл бұрын

Story 2: NTA. You were mean (but just) and so was she (just mean), you both need to apologize.

@theguy1580 3 жыл бұрын

I dont think he’s completely an asshole, i mean he could framed it better but if the baby died 10 yrs ago, you dont go around talking to everyone you know about the dead baby

@BraveryWing26 9 ай бұрын

The Dad in the third story is majorly awful.

@FoxValley123 3 жыл бұрын

O my gods. That last story. Yes that Op was definitely the damned AH. FLIP HIM HARD!!!! I HOPE SHE LEAVES HIM THAT INSENSITIVE PIECE OF FLOOFIN SH*T!!!!!!!!

@loryb1040 3 жыл бұрын

Wow the last story... What an ass If my gf/wife lost a child I'd offer to light a candle for her baby every day if that helped her. I'd visit the grave with her and offer her to talk about the baby whenever she wanted. That's just basic human decency. You help your partner and mourn with them even if you weren't there when it happened. Of course she needs therapy, that's a horrible thing to have happened ... How can you be so cruel? My mother had to abort a baby because she knew she wouldn't have been able to care for them and " even though" it happened 15 years ago she still thinks about them, prays for them etc. Idk how far along she was but I think at that point they were just a lump of cells. She is more than entitled to mourn that baby she couldn't have I just really can't understand how you can be so cold unless you just have 0 empathy in which case you should get therapy to not be insensitive and be a proper partner to someone

@VashXTrigun 2 жыл бұрын

Story 4, OP is definitely the a**hole.

@cathylanders6377 2 жыл бұрын

And sonb op 4 too 😒

@nomoney-ov7ro 9 ай бұрын

The audacity

@Maadhawk 3 жыл бұрын

1. NTA 2. NTA 3. NTA 4. 1000% TA

@HarmlessRealityBreaker 3 жыл бұрын

For the last one, I agree they were the ass hole, But more with how they handled and treated it. I'm not a woman so I don't entirely get it, but my mom went through something similar with what would have been my older sister if they didn't die shortly after birth. I can still see some pain when she thinks about the memory, I never even knew about them until I was older and I can't even imagine what was going through her head, nor do I wish to ask, but she pushed forwards with my dad very supportive. I do hope they will reach a point where they can live their life without being haunted by their past.

@BrotherBarakiel996 3 жыл бұрын

Here's the thing man. Not everybody is the same ya know? Some people never recover from the loss at all.

@SUPERVEGITO896 3 жыл бұрын

@@BrotherBarakiel996 well this is a good life lesson for her never get into a relationship again until you get help

@normanderi 3 жыл бұрын

i believe the mother who lost the baby, is about time to get over it... but to be fair as op said it felt so bad...

@AFantasticCat 3 жыл бұрын

Wow.. that last vid comments section was so wrong... so for almost a decade she had been reopening old wounds for that poor husband? Just every now and then for that long she would just bring up dead baby... yikes... all those opinions of him being wrong were garbage! He has as much right to the babies memory as she did and he was prevented from moving on with his and her life because she wanted to be the grieving mother for eternity... lifeforms die ever second on this planet. It is sad but moving on is also part of life. She should have felt lucky that he hadn’t left her goofy ass long before then. How can he heal if she refused to let him?! I would have ditched her to wallow on her own after five years at most.

@PtolemiosFrost 3 жыл бұрын

The baby was from a previous relationship the wife was in. It wasn't his child.

@vincentcosey4918 3 жыл бұрын

@@PtolemiosFrost yeah like it's almost like he didn't pay attention to the details of the story. I don't understand the people in this comment section that are misunderstanding details of a story when you can read along with the disembodied robotic British man voice. Like having reading comprehension issues in this scenario is literally not an excuse😂😂😂

@peshivirginflower7 11 ай бұрын

S3 dad story: NTA OP PPL who post need to show their families these posts n wat normal ppl think about their stupid ways. OP show your dad these comments even if he gets madd, so he can see your NTA HE IS.

@user-si2wi4sk2u 3 жыл бұрын

I’m sorry what ??? They gave their child up thinking yeah we will come back and take you after a few years whatever and for 15 years they still thought this would happen? How dumb can you be lol

@user-zx9qv4kv7m 3 жыл бұрын

Wow how entitled people can be

@netherwake1 Жыл бұрын

These stories are getting worse In a few years stories will be like "I was abducted and had my organs harvested, but i think i might be the a hole coz i cussed at my abductors"

@Shinjikeaza Жыл бұрын

That last story is an ESH not an YTA the wife telling everyone that asks how their kid died and not leaving it as a they passed away op was right not everyone needs to know that shit and for the op dude could be a little more empathetic and both should’ve gone into counseling when that shit happened and taken some time to mourn their child’s death the both of them were making shit awkward for everyone