Cinematic Excrement: Episode 73 - "Manos" The Hands Of Fate (part 2)

Рет қаралды 60,969

8 жыл бұрын

The Master approves.
BLOG: cinematicexcrement.wordpress.com
TWITTER: / smeghead4269
VIMEO: vimeo.com/cinematicexcrement (If you can't find an older episode of Cinematic Excrement on KZfaq, it's probably here.)

Пікірлер: 247

@marccolten9801 2 жыл бұрын

"we'll fix it in post" must be one of the most terrifying sentences in movie making.

@georgeandrews1394 8 жыл бұрын

"You've got more issues than a newsstand." Extra thumbs up for that line.

@ricardoaguirre6126 4 жыл бұрын

As an El Pasoan I can't help but feel pride that someone from my hometown could make one of the greatest bad movies of all time.

@JamestheXennial 8 жыл бұрын

"I never thought I'd be begging for a movie to stop showing me beautiful, scantily-clad women..." I'd like to present Exhibit B: Showgirls.

@fermintenava5911 4 жыл бұрын

Since he's now reviewing all the Raspberry Award Winners for Worst Movies, Showgirls is on the list.

@afrog2666 4 жыл бұрын

The nudity in Showgirls was the only part that DIDN`T make me want it to stop.. But rewatching it high made it a lot better..

@HerrDeutschBlood 8 жыл бұрын

"Arise my wives! Arise!" (moments later) "Ugh! Un-arise! UN-arise!"

@DJPenguino51 6 жыл бұрын

"What was I THINKING" ?!?!

@lampyman101 7 жыл бұрын

Jackie Neyman (the little girl) saw my own review of the film and liked it and so did her father so she says... apparently the master finaly approved of something lol

@ASLB247 6 жыл бұрын

Where did you find that out?

@NodDisciple1 6 жыл бұрын

lampyman101 Link to review plz?

@DrGregoryHouseIT 5 жыл бұрын

@@NodDisciple1 kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ZtCjaseWp9SaYGQ.html

@JeffreyDeCristofaro 3 жыл бұрын

"DO SOMETHING!" That remark by Joel during the MST3K version pretty much summed it up for me. And, to quote Tom Servo during the acknowledgement part of the end credits: "Thanks El Paso, we're outta here!"

@suedenim 3 жыл бұрын

My fantasy Manos sequel is that the two women driving up to the lodge at the end are actually undercover visitors from across the border: Las Luchadoras, the "wrestling women" of the contemporaneous Mexican series.

@dylankaiser5546 5 жыл бұрын

"Arise my wives, and hear the will of Manos" (wives bickering) "Unarise UNARISE!!!"

@dangerdan2592 8 жыл бұрын

You say Manos, I say Manos, let's call the whole thing.....mierda.

@911jdc 3 жыл бұрын

He uses his gun to scare away stock footage of a snake! That's fantastic!!

@Achillez098 8 жыл бұрын

Still better than Twilight? I vote yes

@metademetra 8 жыл бұрын

Only because it's funnier

@wahteklim3688 8 жыл бұрын

This movie is so cheesy, it's good.

@sizzxrk 7 жыл бұрын

Achillez The actors show more emotion than Kristen Stewart.

@sizzxrk 7 жыл бұрын

metademetra It's just a better film altogether. I'm on Team Torgo.

@fermintenava5911 5 жыл бұрын

@maxdagesse127 8 жыл бұрын

Actually, I think the story could have worked. It needed a better writer, but give it that and it could have been a decent story. Then again, I'm the guy who thinks any bad story could work with a better writer.

@TF2Fan101 6 жыл бұрын

Max Dagesse You're not alone.

@anikmonette2140 4 жыл бұрын

Me too, but this movie is so bad that if done well it might be unrecognizable. Which isn't a bad idea now that I think about it. As the movie unfolds, just spread hints that its Manos but you could make it look as if they're easter egg and when the viewer is questioning his/her sanity, make the family wind up at the house! It's a major tweak but it could work since the original is only barely an hour. Heck, throw in weird visions in Warren's mind that would explain that he's careless to the point of forcing his familly to stay in the murder house. Or make it about Warren's destiny and he'ss conflicted about staying in the house because The Master is slowly dying and needs replacement... Heck, make Warren The Master's son! Or Margaret! Make her a wife of the Master that went to trick Warren but the events eventually caught up to her. ...or maybe my ideas suck. I dunno. I feel that it could be interesting at least.

@rbarnett3200 11 ай бұрын

"We'll hide in the desert! Someone will find us!"...solid strategy. Someone might find parts of you in several years time, so it's not entirely inaccurate.

@enlightenednormie242 11 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@Snktp17 8 жыл бұрын

Jesus the man in the car must have the bluest ball in the world

@dvass7253 8 жыл бұрын

Sean, there is another guy who knows nothing about filmmaking, but directed a movie anyway - Frank Miller. The Spirit is just prime material for a Cinematic Excrement review. You need to tackle it at some point.

@ianbrennan9635 8 жыл бұрын

Agreed. "The Spirit" is by far one of the big contenders for the worst superhero movie ever made.

@tonykoslowski5010 8 жыл бұрын

The only possible good thing about that film that I can think of is that it is filmed in a similar way to Sin City. That's it.

@sebastianbutlerii6558 3 жыл бұрын

agreed

@anikmonette2140 3 жыл бұрын

At least The Spirit kinda looked good at times... But I think I will be more harsh on it just because Frank Miller had filming experience even at the time he ditected The Spirit. And a budget. And good actors(for the most part) and the aid of computer generated technology. And Warren and his crew had none of that...

@NikoZguri 8 жыл бұрын

"The woman is all we want. The others must die. They all must die. We do not even want the woman" uhh, was that intentional or by accident? o.O

@sizzxrk 7 жыл бұрын

Torgo's limping theme is fucking incredible

@PhilChandlerArts 4 жыл бұрын

Regarding the dubbing... All the men in the film dubbed their own voices. None of the female actresses were available by that point so he did hire a woman (I think someone his wife knew, but it wasn't his wife) to do all the voices. Hal loaded the guys into a rented vehicle and drove 6hrs to a recording studio Dallas where the had one day to record. So Hal, John and Tom did their own characters.

@sydneyslaughter7163 6 жыл бұрын

Technically we should pronounce it “Mah-noos” as that is how The Master says it and he IS The Master.

@terrancethetentaclemonster9169 8 жыл бұрын

I'll agree that the Master making both the mother and the little girl part of his harem was creepy, but: 1) He's a bad guy, and bad guys doing bad things is to be expected. 2) It's hard not to have seen this coming with the kind of argument the Master's other brides got into earlier in the film. 3) It could've been worse. I've had the misfortune of reading fanfics that handled similar subject matter in such a soul-crushingly terrible way that they make this look tame.

@christmashake8968 5 жыл бұрын

Your first two points are understandable, but I would have to disagree somewhat with the third--by modern standards, of course few would even bat an eye at it, but by 1966 standards, it's still a dumb and reprehensible choice. (Remember, the doors for modern cinematic Hollywood violence and moral turbulence wouldn't be kicked in until films like "Bonnie and Clyde" were released about a year after this film.)

@endlessnoise9173 8 жыл бұрын

I still remember Joel wearing the "foot" robe. I did remember hearing that most everyone on MST3K agreed that "Monster A-Go-Go" was the worst movie they ever featured on the show.

@djquinn11 Жыл бұрын

What about Mons-turd?

@metalmugen 8 жыл бұрын

Needs more Torgo Haunting Theme.

@neophobicnyctophile8264 4 жыл бұрын

I actually made an 80-minute loop of that, burned it to 5 CD's and swapped out all the discs in my roommate's car...

@metalmugen 4 жыл бұрын

@@neophobicnyctophile8264 that's pretty rad

@AmishParadise27 8 жыл бұрын

So this is the first movie to feature a desert and a villain with many wives until Mad Max: Fury Road.

@Gamerex27 8 жыл бұрын

+AmishParadise27 The key difference is that MM:FR had effort put into it. And talent. And competence. And passion. And a better reason beyond making it than a stupid bet. So, it really only related to Manos if you squint really, really hard. While it's raining. And in the middle of the night. And inebriated.

@alfrankensteinfeldman 8 жыл бұрын

+AmishParadise27 Not to mention the whole 'if we go back, they may have trouble finding us!' thing.

@LinkMarioSamus 8 жыл бұрын

+Gamerex27 Funny thing is, the original Mad Max only cost $400,000 to make. It's really impressive all things considered and while 2 and Fury Road are better, I've always had a bit of a soft spot for it.

@alfrankensteinfeldman 8 жыл бұрын

LinkMarioSamus I think it sucks that the original Max Mad was dubbed in the US.

@LinkMarioSamus 8 жыл бұрын

William Glover So I heard, I wouldn't know because the version I watched had Australian accents. Though I don't live in the US.

@HenryvKeiper 8 жыл бұрын

I recall reading that the reason the Master's female slaves are all wearing underwear under their dresses is originally they were going to be nude underneath, but the woman coordinating them refused to do that, so they all put on underwear last minute.

@eddieolshefski6467 5 жыл бұрын

That does suck. Aside from Torgo, it would've made the movie more tolerable to watch.

@henrygvidonas9573 3 жыл бұрын

Harold P. Warren wanted Diane Mahree/Adelson to be topless in the Torgo spying and groping scene. She told him to get stuffed and he tried to save face by claiming that asking her to get naked was "just a test".

@ayndie38 4 жыл бұрын

"Mentos"...the breath mint of doom.

@jamesb.8940 8 жыл бұрын

Not many films are vigorously, aggressively, violently opposed to being watched; but "The Da Vinci Code" is certainly one of them. For the first two hours (!), it is featureless, unrelieved, unmitigated tedium - only in the last half-hour is there a slight improvement. Any deterioration was impossible - utter dullness cannot become any more dull. There is not even the consolation that an enjoyable book was made into a horrible film, because the book is a trainwreck as well. "Manos" cannot be as bad as that. Even the "Twilight" saga can't be as bad as that. At least it has vampires.

@TheHeroOfTomorrow 8 жыл бұрын

Forgetting this review...is a thing that I cannot do...

@EmilyGloeggler7984 5 жыл бұрын

According to the blog and interviews with Jackie Neyman, her Dad and cast and crew's recollections - of the people involved in the dubbing was John Reynolds as Torgo. So, you were not wrong - we have his vocal performance on record as well.

@WinterSteele 8 жыл бұрын

2:08 Is it just me, or does that painting of the Master look uncannily like John Astin?

@andrewollmann304 7 жыл бұрын

Winter Steele Fatten out the head a little and....yeah.

@speedformercy 5 жыл бұрын

I'm much better now

@gretchenbaker7435 3 жыл бұрын

I have just found this channel, hooked already. Looking forward to Neil Breen.

@zeekyboogydoog826 8 жыл бұрын

Actually, Sean, there WAS other footage. There were longer sequences of the family trying to get away, and the Master got physically abusive towards his first wife. The MST3K episode's DVD release included the unriffed movie, and it contained footage the riff didn't touch upon (which, in the case of the latter scene I mentioned, I can understand).

@thefantasticretroreviewer3941 Жыл бұрын

15:14, What a Legacy for this film.

@kathleenmcconaha5608 11 ай бұрын

not even Mike and the bots could make me sit thru this steaming pile. and I've watched some doozies in my day, some without their help

@bobbieparry646 7 жыл бұрын

How come that poor doberman doesnt get a credit? He's a way better actor than "Peppy" and is clearly having a whale of a time

@henrygvidonas9573 3 жыл бұрын

Dobie got done dirty! Where is his bag of dog food?

@Lady_Yuna 8 жыл бұрын

5:15 Star Trek "Amok Time" music from the Kirk vs Spock episode. LOL XD

@enlightenednormie242 Жыл бұрын

By far this is my favourite review of yours!😄

@Genevieve1023 8 жыл бұрын

I've been waiting for this all day.

@char1737 3 жыл бұрын

That Star Trek music was genius

@j2oorange 8 жыл бұрын

I think smeghead is getting better at this reviewing thing

@VoxFabuli 8 жыл бұрын

Thanks for the shout out for "MANOS _ The Hands of Felt".

@DrGregoryHouseIT 8 жыл бұрын

2:42 And the road leads to nowhere And the castle stays the same And the father tells the mother 'Wait For The Rain' 'Wait For The Rain' And the road leads to nowhere...

@raymondhall8691 5 жыл бұрын

But damn Maggie was a fox

@gdwnet 4 жыл бұрын

2:00 THE UNDERTAKER!! Love it.

@hellpermonkey 10 ай бұрын

5:23 Torgos bed(?) is just a literal mound of dirt in the corner of the room... No wonder he's not doing well XD

@deandupont5503 3 жыл бұрын

I'm amazed the MST3K crew never pointed out the Magical Disappearing Head-Napkin.

@RSEFX Күн бұрын

What Warren knew about "post production" most likely was about the production of posts. Like maybe, fence posts....or sumptin'.

@billa107 8 жыл бұрын

Ooooh, a Bond Movie is next! It's got to be Die Another Day.

@TheStupidLama 8 жыл бұрын

+billa107 UHH I thought Moonraker, but that was was HORRIBLE indeed :'D

@gamestation2690 8 жыл бұрын

+Awkward Alan He already reviewed Moonraker.

@hadleyberman7433 8 жыл бұрын

I'm kinda hoping for Diamonds Are Forever. So bad. (If it's a Dalton film, I revolt. :p )

@hadleyberman7433 8 жыл бұрын

+Lulzy Hunter I actually kinda like Quantum of Solace and find TMWTGG a bit underrated.

@TheStupidLama 8 жыл бұрын

***** The man with the golden gun was my second favourite "old" bond movie^^ only one better than that was Goldfinger in my opinion

@johnschou2172 3 жыл бұрын

On the note of the music: they were actually public domain songs that were used in the movie, like royalty-free tracks on KZfaq. Also, on the note of the music: one commenter brought up how a sequel was made in 2016, where some of the music was re-done, in particular a new version of “The Haunting Torgo Theme,” that’s actually haunting.

@metademetra 8 жыл бұрын

This is probably funniest bad movie you've reviewed.

@larrywolf2509 8 жыл бұрын

The story makes no goddamn sense? I thought it made sense. I mean, it's not that complex. The story is pretty decent imo, could use some fleshing out. It'd make a decent horror movie with a budget.

@hail_void8844 4 жыл бұрын

I just noticed the hands on his outfit. *Jesus Christ*

@thefantasticretroreviewer3941 Жыл бұрын

5:15, This music is better and makes more sense

@FegeleintheLostTapes 8 жыл бұрын

5:42 Who's holding the dog's leash offscreen?

@tarananajaika 8 жыл бұрын

+AT Productions Ba dum tss...

@thehoosierfortheUK 7 жыл бұрын

Manos: the Hands Holding Leash of Fate!

@NodDisciple1 6 жыл бұрын

I watched this unriffed. 😥

@andrewollmann304 5 жыл бұрын

Brother Malachai You poor soul.

@ogarcia515 3 жыл бұрын

This is the best "analysis."

@tyrantgregcagkaiju71 8 жыл бұрын

Do a review for Eegah sometime in the near future. That was another MST3K fan-favorite.

@AndyG94 4 жыл бұрын

I am from El Paso.. I really need to scout the locations to take pics...obviously with an inconsistent head handkerchief

@LieslHeston 8 жыл бұрын

ANOTHER awesome review, but who's surprised at this point?

@bromodragone8405 4 жыл бұрын

The Road to Nowhere leads to You, but the Bridge to Nowhere leads to Cybertron.

@starlightam3118 7 жыл бұрын

He married the kid? WTF????

@Sandlot1992 8 жыл бұрын

have you ever thought on reviewing the Garbage Pail Kids movie someday? since recently the movie is going to be released on Blu-ray by Shout Factory this year!

@CHHSGuardBoy2 8 жыл бұрын

If I was a video production teacher I would play this movie as a punishment. Hehehehe

@MrJohndoakes 5 жыл бұрын

5:29 This is the pile of dirt the film crew left in Judge Colbert Coldwell's ranch guesthouse after shooting ended.

@aceofhearts125 8 жыл бұрын

Just saying, for those of you who don't know, Sean already did a CI of Moonraker. It's episode 36 and on vimeo if you want to watch it. SO we're going to be seeing a CI of another Bond movie. I don't know which, though. I'm not well versed with the movies.

@juliangroerode638 8 жыл бұрын

Great review. Laughed my ass off :D Please review Daniel the Wizard. It is hillarious. You just have to watch the trailer (even if it is just a German version) just for the song at the end. BTW, Daniel is a guy who came far at the first german version of American Idol. Even if you wont believe me if you listen to it :D

@brainhamster 3 жыл бұрын

no comment on how the master's robe has 2 hands on it?

@TheRealMightyHokie 5 жыл бұрын

The first time I saw this was (like everyone else) with MST3k. Being a massive fan I VCRed each episode and watched them over and over again. HOWEVER, without any internet to rely on information, I was convinced that this movie was some real cult movie...as in made by a cult. It just weirded me the hell out. So I never watched it again until I heard the origin of it's production. Classic.

@phreakazoith2237 3 жыл бұрын

Maybe a remake by Robert Rodriguez? Danny Trejo starring Torgo and Baron Cohn starring the Master?

@anikmonette2140 3 жыл бұрын

I think I know why people mispronounce it, and it's pretty much the reason why I screw up English words regularly: it's not my native language. But I feel like it won't fly long as an excuse because of Google Speaker(I hate Google sometimes as a search engine but I've had a lot of fun with this one simple function)☺

@RiverOfWetness468 7 жыл бұрын

"They proceed to...gently massage Torgo to death. ...I got nothing." What about the Comfy Chair sequence from Monty Python's "The Spanish Inquisition"?

@Spawn674 8 жыл бұрын

Did you ever do the movie Crawlers? That is almost equal to Manos...

@KingofFantasy516 7 жыл бұрын

what's the music at 5:15 from? It sounds SO familiar

@Indigodelta383 8 жыл бұрын

i enjoy this movie because how surreal it is

@MrKaywyn 5 жыл бұрын

I find this film to be very interesting.

@pbh9195 8 жыл бұрын

the most likly bond film he'll review would be Die another day. i know people have problems with that film but that actually my favorite bond film.

@kali3665 5 жыл бұрын

There's only one reason to get the blu-ray: Jackie Neyman and her father (The Master) did a commentary for the film. Otherwise, PLEASE, get the MST/Rifftrax versions. You'll remain sane after watching it then.... :-)

@Sassyjass2012 Жыл бұрын

I’ve got both versions, plus a third by RiffTrax. Yeah, I’m a masochist!

@phils8751 6 жыл бұрын

have you seen and or done the room??

@padlock711 8 жыл бұрын

What's the worst questionable moment he's talking about

@annathomsen6654 7 жыл бұрын

The fact that The Master made Debbie his wife.

@Jeffrey314159 6 жыл бұрын

18:44 Do: The Possessed, from 1975

@DeniseFaraday 8 жыл бұрын

Sean, so aside from giving a VLOG review of Spectre, you're also going to do a CI episode on a previous Bond movie? Will it be a Craig entry or one from the previous tenured actors? Bronsnan? Dalton? Give us a hint!! LOL

@MrKaywyn 5 жыл бұрын

I recommend watching the original film; the MST3K version and especially Manos: The Hands of Felt.

@redribbondeoxys2707 6 жыл бұрын

I didn’t know John Reynølds died before the movie came øut. I wanted him to be in the sequel.

@3Guys1Video 8 жыл бұрын

I'm taking a guess the next one might be Vacation 2015 or Pixels... Smeghead, please do Fant4stic when the dvd is released

@3Guys1Video 8 жыл бұрын

Agent of Chaos Ok, but I really hope he does Fant4stic after that

@JustinCoasters 8 жыл бұрын

+Die - Hearts My guess is that since his next film after Bond will be #75, He will probably do 50 Shades as the Host was his 50th as they are both in the same genre

@3Guys1Video 8 жыл бұрын

Justin An Or to add more fun into the mix, Plan 9 From Outer Space

@deandupont5503 4 жыл бұрын

@ 3:25 As pointed out in MST3K, you can see the zipper. Out of all the incompetence displayed in Manos, this one chafes me the most. I don't know why, it just does.

@phreakazoith2237 3 жыл бұрын

there might be some radioactive mutant cannibals in that desert who would like to help them

@RichardWatt 4 жыл бұрын

The problem with polygamy? Multiple mothers in law.

@heighbeut99 8 жыл бұрын

Doing Bond again aren't you? Good on ya.

@deandupont5503 3 жыл бұрын

@ 7:18 The answer is, because the word "manos" was being pronounced by Minnesota natives. Fer chrissake, they think Taco John's is Mexican food! Just, ugh.

@welloopsies6262 8 жыл бұрын

is james bond next? I saw the new movie a few days ago or is it going to be one of the old ones? we had actually analised bond movies at school and found a pattern for the ending so i found it a little predictable. thanks a lot school, you managed to ruin movies for me.

@welloopsies6262 8 жыл бұрын

+Lulzy Hunter I actually didn't know there were books until fairly recently and even though I haven't read them, I really want to and I will when I get enough time.

@welloopsies6262 8 жыл бұрын

+Lulzy Hunter Thanks! I'll be sure to read the books as soon as possible.

@leftisthindrance 8 жыл бұрын

too many clues this time xD

@fredferd965 5 жыл бұрын

"...I actually wonder if any of the footage wound up on the cutting room floor or not...." Well, no, the footage didn't, but several of the actors may have wound up there -- at least the two who were making out.....and perhaps others.

@MaesterMike 8 жыл бұрын

The music for this movie is so weird.

@Filmation77 4 жыл бұрын

Ok....how TOMMY WIESAU has Not gotten his hands on making a remake of This,I'll never know cause that would be fucking epic.And have David Arquette be the lead.

@jacobgong691 8 жыл бұрын

Wait, this isn't the shortest movie you've ever reviewed. That's Mario.

@CinematicExcrement 8 жыл бұрын

+Jacob Gong Oh shit, I think you might be right. Their run times are very close, but Mario might be slightly shorter. Oh well.

@JustinCoasters 8 жыл бұрын

+Cinematic Excrement Super Mario was 60m, This was 74 based on Wikipedia

@CinematicExcrement 8 жыл бұрын

+Justin An It might be 74m if you count the extended credits at the end of the Blu Ray restoration, but I'm pretty sure the movie itself is under 70.

@Foustdoodles98 8 жыл бұрын

+Cinematic Excrement Review Pixels.

@user-nw7jx2sv4q 8 жыл бұрын

+Aaron Foust Yep. But personally, Pixel was actually better than I expected. To be fair, bottom line - the story was fun; comical, chemical, it brings back nostalgia about old-timey video games(god, I miss the old days - space invaders, centipede, super mario, pac-man, tetris...), and Master Adam Sandler is talking in his own voice again, no weird accents. Better than his voice in Zohan and/or That's My Boy-- ugh. LOL

@hanoc101 3 жыл бұрын

So little Debbie became a wife? That's f*cked up.

@EphromJosine 5 жыл бұрын

7:40 That's just how it sounds in an American accent, considering Texas is closer to Mexico they are more likely to have heard how a native speaker pronounced it. It's sometimes hard to remember you have an accent when your language is designed around it.

@TheSmashingDoc1 4 жыл бұрын

i cant believe that he burned torgo, i will miss him.

@thefantasticretroreviewer3941 Жыл бұрын

13:01, WHY???????????????

@drakkenmensch 4 жыл бұрын

Are we SURE these are actors? I don't care that they're involved in local theater, if I just stuck a paper bag outside my bathroom window I could catch better actors inside it.