If someone walk away for no reason or choose someone else over you! You should celebrate because he just gave you the chance to start a new adventure and life is good. Don't be harsh on yourself and Love who you are

Don't ever compare yourself to anyone! We are all unique and if they don't see your value then let them have them.

Comparing is the worst. "Not a drop of my self worth rests on your acceptance of me" - Quincy Jones

I found that the people constantly posting their relationships on IG or how good their life is are often hiding some insecurities and are not actually as happy as they seem

"We can't be all things to all people, but at least we can be a friend to ourselves." YES.

It was comparing myself to his ex actually that he went back to. Altho he never told me that she was better. Years on i know that she's definitely not better. We are both different and im glad he chose her coz he was not good enough for me with his values and behavior. Amen 😂

Its all about ego-when someone leaves us we take it personally and the ego tells us we are not good enough anymore for them-we can not fullfill thier needs or wants-we feel rejected-not worthy of them-this is all garbage-we need to just ardenly work on ourselves to build security self esteem and confidence-hit the gym-surround yourself with uplifting people take class and travel-get involved keep busy do what feeds your soul!!

This is why I blocked my ex and his new girlfriend. It hurt too much and I didn’t want to constantly compare... we were toxic for each other and tried making it work, but my family wasn’t on board with him, so it wore on top of our relationship on top of his faults.

This is so profound. So powerful. Everyone suffering from one sided breakups and suffering from comparison game, WATCH THIS. THANK YOU

Yes. "Where did he fail you?" Susan, You're brilliant. Live in love and honesty.

I had a most unfortunate thing happen. I was replaced with a doppelganger. I thought this was really odd. She was also 7 years older than me. Also very odd. But I found out she was a former flame that he had lived with 30 years ago, which made me realize...omg...I was a replacement for HER. That made it easier to swallow, knowing it was nothing wrong with me, he was just trying to replace HER. I can't compete with that, so it was easier to move on. He tried to keep me as a friend(backup plan) but I told him, if he really wanted it to work this time with her, he HAD to stop talking to me and all the other women. #1 not fair to the new relationship. #2 not fair to her knowing he was talking to me (i didn't want to be THAT girl). #3 I didn't want to be strung along. I blocked him, and we never spoke again. Very empowering thing to do.

thing is.. i compare myself to her in every aspect. its such a big issue and some days im confident in myself and others im just not.

Never choose someone who 'challanges' you. Being constantly challanged by anyone is exhausting and demeaning. Choose someone who inspires you and brings you peace and then challenge yourself.

The problem with comparison… It's all in how we project the fantasy… One of the greatest gifts that happen for me ... was after a similar situation as described in the the narrative happened for me… A year down the road I saw what my partner was looking for and happy with... and it gave incredible peace to realize… That I am not what they're looking for… I'm not that… in turn we were trying to force a fit.

Thank you Susan for another wonderful video. Self worth is the most important thing and you have taught me to love myself again. I am so proud to say that you have helped a lot in my healing process. I am so happy I made the right choice.

It came just in time. Thank you 💖

Susan, I absolutely love your channel! You utilize so many techniques that treat mental and emotional problems. Thank you for everything, I hope to have a session with you someday.

Great timing for this video. Very comforting message. Thank you once again Susan.

I am so thankful for you and your videos Susan! You have no idea!! ❤️

You have no idea how much this is helping me. Thank you.

She met her new partner at the gym. I thought "he won't be in better shape than me" so I started pumping iron and got into great shape. After three years I realized it was silly to do this out of resentment and now do it for myself.

WOW! One of the ending comments you said, "How did HE fall short?" That scooped me right out of the rabbit hole. Thank you!!

Couldn't have come at a better time, thank you Susan❤

We are all Unique and Special! Once you know this? You will never compare yourself to Anyone. Be grateful for the Blessings you have!! Thank you!

If you have pride that you can have everything or can do everything you don’t need to compare your self to others, don’t trust failure

Damn, girl. You are really a real one. Helping me through. Love it.

Again thank you...you are making me feel so much better..cause i was doing all of these things..putting myself down..

Omg. What a beautiful answer. Thanks

Hi Susan! I serendipitously found your videos as I'm recovering from my first major breakup. Your advice and thoughtful comments have been a huge support and really inspire the positive aspects of a breakup. I'm wondering if you could do a video on the fluctuation of memories, and how things that remind you of that person can be something you can take back or not let affect you so they can be "wins" as you said in a video once. Things that person liked so you ended up liking is a hard thing to separate from I am finding, and locating my identity before they came along but also not letting their influence on these new things I like take over with memories.

Susan your simply the best!...better than all the rest...as the Tina Turner song goes...

Hi Susan, hello everyone. Susan I absolutely love you. You provide such huge service to humanity. It's priceless knowledge. Thank you. I've recently left a situationship to what I'm coming to finally put into focus is true bonafide narcissist. I believe he is one of the cruelest kind that relishes in delight at my sufferings in an attempt to get back at me and " win" the illusion of the epic power dynamic n control. Yes I know I did the exact opposite of your recommendatios but because I hadn't seen your videos yet but knew that if I came from an open heart I'd still get hurt but that I would learn to see what I needed to see and understand. When push came to shove and he started behaving badly and with Mal intent I definitely did practice holding him accountable for his out of order trampoline over my boundaries invalidating my intuition and minimizing my feelings pointing the finger at me to destabilize in order to throw me into defending mode. He just couldn't do it. Not one apology or sorry, not even an acknowledgement of wrong doing. I finally felt complete because in that moment I finally was able to see the real REAL entity that he truly is. I could finally put this BS to rest. I knew I wouldn't have to be stuck in this fabricated fantasy of a nightmare. I broke free. I learned I had to love, honor, Cherish my soul and not subject my beautiful self to be manipulated into something less. OMG even as I write this I feel even more convinced. The most amazing thing happened because of this awakening. Maybe it's because I did the work knowing I would still take a blow in the name of being a spiritual warrior for myself I had to learn to stand in my Truth and not be fearful of holding them accountable for violations against you value. Yes I went there with an open heart and open eyes. Gave him a 2nd chance with me. First was 10 years ago. We got together after being friends at my spiritual center for 7,,, years and spend 11 , months together. I told him I loved him. He said I opened up a can of worms, shortly after we were done. With no warning nothing. Then began with the New girlfriend showing up on his arm at the spiritual center. And when other times he showed up Solo he'd be wearing some jewelry of hers and flaunt it in front of my face. That's another story. Needless to say the universe, fate or some strange Divine orchestration occurred which resulted in running off to Peru in The Sacred Valley marrying his best friend. Oh the Opera I know folks. Cray cray making. FWD 10; years back to the present day. Regards to finally seeing him for the first time mask off has been so a pivital I turning point. We have to call them out. We have to be brave enough to to burst that bubble of illusion that we both create. Stand in your Truth. So even though in his mind he may think that he's won by eventually discarded me by having his fun in the bedroom not being present watching porn and ignoring me, humiliating me. Remember at this point I don't really know what or who I'm dealing with but yes I'm there to helping my partner out giving him BJ pleasure for hours and hours going rounds and rounds of stimulating each other taking turns where we'd switch positions to be my turn for penetration but he'd go flat line "if u know what I mean" so I get to work on him again to try and firm him up for my turn then finally he gets his big release and after all those hours of I'll call it Penis Snubs that I had endoured he declared he's gotta be up early morning and calls it a night and goes to sleep. Bahaha good one right!?! Completely cruelest deliberate revenge of disengagement. I was humiliated feeling so betray sad shock rage and rejected unlovable definitely infuriated so much instead of cutting off what was left as his manhood I excused myself to take a much needed walk to calm down my woman blue balls and discombobulated brain shock. I do remember saying that it hurts it hurts and going into some elevated stress but I never directed it twords him even though that for sure was a dick move. I was so proud of myself because I was able to walk away and do deep breathing and allow myself to examine the feeling and sensations to fully feel the weight of the injury. So I searched online for what the heck kind of player move was that. I'll certainly never forget it. Since then it had been Days, weeks months I ask to speak to him that I need resolution closure he still won't allow me to to speak my peace and for what happened. Get closure. I won't get it from him I gotta give it to myself I realized that he's isn't even capable of giving me closure and resolution. Only I could. In only a few days time after that betrayal Knowing that I may need to get some therapy and Time to process this experience probably not a good idea to jump into something new... The most awesome amazing irony happened. miracle of the universe sending me acknowledgement of it's joy to have witnessed my bravery and willingness to "show up" with an "open heart" willing to take the force of a blow in the name of Love Truth and awareness. They brought back my College sweetheart from over 25 years ago. Who tells me he loves me with confidence and sincerity. Makes the effort to call me come and visit me stays connect with me. Follows through with his word. Now know the real energy of love in all it's vulnerability and purity unconditional love. We had always been loving friends but I had always thought we had our chance that's in the past. In the back of our heads we knew we both hadn't been married and could be available for each other if we persued it. Oh yeah the original marriage to the Narcissist bf Shaman in Peru lasted 5 only months so it was brief. Anyhow. Stand up Stand in your Truth. It's your duty to call them out. Know your worth. Don't waste another tear dwelling on those partners that don't value you. Thank you Susan, you were there with me too in spirit and every night on video KZfaq gifting everyone with your gifts of discernment. Love ya

Damn this lady really has helped me. Thank you Miss Winter

Thanks Susan!😊

Great one! I think this also applies to most relationships. Signs of conditional love eh?

You are healing a heart at a time 😇🌎❤️

I'm preparing myself for you 💗💗💗💗

Susan my ex partner of 8 years cheated and blindsided me for a woman 10 years younger than me and more prettier, I'm 50 and it's made me feel downright worthless and ugly! And what's posted on social media isnt always necessarily an exaggeration of how great their lives are together! theres every chance it could actually be true! x

Thank you Susan for being here. Am 56 and devastated. She, my now ex 56 also. 7 years live together in our townhome we bought. Last month or so red flags. She has feelings for her first high school fakebook boyfriend that somehow swooned her. They even bought a house already. We still live together but moving because I had to sue her for my share of equity in our home. So hurtful. Very hurting someone could do this. Not alcohol or abusing or anything.

Without a Doubt.....I am in love with you and your clarity. You hit the subjects and understand them. Thank you ..... i will be sitting in a session with you asap.

yep

Hello Susan, I love watching your videos ! Thank you so much for all the love you pour into them. They are really healing.I'm interested in learning what you think about "selling off" our moral compasses in the work environment, for a job. It's been really difficult for me to find jobs that match my values.

My question for a video: Please speak about dating someone when they are dating others. Should I ask if there are others? If they are and I see that as a red flag is it unrealistic to have my avoidance? A man I’m really attracted to pursued me and another after dating a 3rd for a few weeks. It felt awful so I broke off contact. I feel my lesson is to only date men who are not already dating anyone. Thanks for your amazing insight.

Thanks for this, Susan. I've been comparing myself to this girl (his ex now gf again) for a year now and I feel so bad about myself always telling myself there must be something wrong with me for him to go back to her even if she cheated on him :( I'll keep this is mind, but it's so hard.

Good video 👍

Susan... THANK YOU, THANK THANK YOU!!! Thank you SO much!😭😭 I wish I could talk to you myself. Of all the videos I've watched it is yours I relate too because they hit my issues and experiences right on the head. My life has been hell since my "relationship" feel apart right months ago and while I only started to heal recently because of a change of attitude towards her and it, I've come into some really complex emotions that threaten my sanity, peace of mind, and ability to move on. Unfortunately I'm currently unemployed and can't afford a therapist but your videos are SO helpful.

yeayyy!!! hi susan..;)

Good afternoon coach!

exactly , he did that merciless act to me with a mercy tattoo on his arm the irony LOL.. and interestingly enough that triangulation has led me to the inner fragmentation within me that old inner triangulation inside of me where I sided with some parts and disowned others.. it's time for integration and wholeness thanks Susan so very much

He talks so much about his three ex-wives I began to compare myself to them. And my husband before this man talked a lot about the ladies he dated and especially a younger when he dated why did they do that they cause us to compare ourselves will they both gone and I plan for the next year to go on a inward Journey and figure out what I wanted who I am

Susan how do I submit a question to you?

How can I get to approach an older woman than my age because I am interested in older mature ladies

Could you do a video about older women who are only attracted to young men whom they can't get? I am just not attracted physically to men in my age group.

Hey Suzan! Could you talk a little about the rescue fantasy? Like someone is going to come in and rescue us and everything will be better and we will be happy and sleeping on a bed of roses 🤦🏻‍♀️ It must be a leftover from Disney princess movies but I have noticed that eventhough I say Im not interested in any form of romantic relationship, I still have that rescue fantasy and its playing in the back of my mind and becoming a problem 😞

My hands may never be as big as Tony Robin's , but who I'm as person , will make millions of women know matter what race 18- 30 keep the lights on for me ..

what. about looks

I have to disagree with your assessment of the guy. I would like to hear brutal truth sometimes, and often when I asked, not just about romantic, but other situations, I hear some lame useless answer. The brutal truth gives me a clear picture of what may be missing, or a deficiency, may be or may just be someone else's perspective. If she has asked him repeatedly why? then his answer is very appropriate.

She cheated on me that's where she failed me

Hi how r u ?

My ex is seeing a so called married women who’s man in prison , still texts me once a month , still tells me loves and misses me ,and lies about her ? I compare myself to her , I’m a way better catch then her but why he is still lying to me and his family after a year about seeing her and willing to loose me ? What did i do so bad ?

The ex is being honest and he should be commended. Sadly, toxic bitterness is evident in Susan Winter's commentary. Let's be honest and tell the facts - if you are a mature adult, then you will respect your ex-beau and their choice, forgive them, wish them and their new biological opposite gender partner well and that God may also heal and to live long and fulfilling lives. Then you need to let them go permanently and may allow God to also heal your heart and to live a long and fulfilling life without them romantically in your life ever again.

Hi coach My ex is in a new relationship, im thinking its a rebound because he told me to add him back on social media and agrees to hang out. After our recent hangout he told me he wants to be faithful to her and he took me out of snapchat. Im doing no contact right now and its been a month. I dont know if i should reach out or give him space?

Last time I went India,my husband Narendra Sinha sat next to my brother-in-law's wife Anju,now he takes her side &beats me up, because she is younger than me 😢

You’re beautiful 😍

he. got. the. big. head

How do i get older women? Specifically older women who make youtube videos giving love advice, those are the best

but she’s perfect:/ she literally better in every aspect....beautiful...smart she’s knows four languages😭funny it just sucks

I'm a single man, I'm looking for a single lady's to marry💍 in life

help. I'm. so. tired. of these men