A narcissist tries to destroy your life with lies, because theirs can be destroyed with the truth

If you stay with them you become mentally drained and damaged without even noticed

They are broken, they are hurt. They will break you they will hurt you. Run! They dont want to change. It has nothing to do with you. It's who they are. Run! No contact rule should be enforced.

I will never ever get into a relationship with a narcissist again. I rather stay single then. The only positive thing I got out of this toxic relationship was that I learned a lot about myself and could starting healing myself and make new plans for the future. And the future will be great. We all deserve better and we are worth it.

It is like having a relationship with a robot. Nothing on the inside. Period.

Me and hubby are separated…and I’ve never had so much peace before!!!! I will do anything to keep this peace I have!!!

I’m so exhausted after 18 years marriage, 8 affairs, manipulation, gas lighting and crazy making conversations. I honestly feel like I’ve been raising newborns for 18 years. The struggle is real and I wish people who aren’t experiencing it were educated on the abuse, not just the people like us who seek out the truth of our misery. Everyone helps and has empathy for wives with black eyes and broken arms, but no one understands the abuse taken place especially in a suburban neighborhood with a what seems to be ideal family with kids in private schools and husband a respected surgeon.

Its never worth it to stay, the cycle will continue and you will never be truly happy. As painful as it is to leave it is 10x more painful to stay.

A lot of spiritual or personal awakenings occur through these kinds of relationships

I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 3 months and after that I was just done. The things he said to me, I would never even say to someone I didn't even like. Narcissistic people do not change. They get worse the longer you stay with them. Get out for your own sanity and start the healing process.

You can’t reason with a narcissist. I’ve tried.

A narcissist never likes to loose. Don't go toe to toe with him. It will rip you apart, you are human. Exit now and focus on healing yourself.

A definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Knowing they will never change Means that it’s all up to you. We don’t need permission to set ourselves free We need to be strong enough to walk away 💪🏼

"They want what they want when they want it" is precisely what I've said about my ex. wow.

Leave as soon as you know. If you stay, you lose your soul...the core self!!

I just came out of a 33 year marriage, the healing is so painful, there are moments that breathing feels almost impossible. Their discard and hatred is very painful, I pray everyone has the strength to get out. I gave everything I had, til I unconsciously knew I didn't want to give anymore. I know who I am, just finding and loving myself is pretty rewarding.

We are human beings and narcissists really have NO hearts.

the relationship taught me how to walk in my own power and not be a victim everywhere.

Yes!! You said it in the first two minutes! A relationship takes two people! Your relationship with your narcissist will always be one sided!

It destroys you mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually!! Tell them no once and they will tell more lies than you can imagine about you…

Took ,4 years the Lord woke me up I am forever grateful to him & his glory now I have knowledge and wisdom. Thank you God bless everybody in the comments. Time to wake up baby!

I ignore him, only speak when needed, living my best life ,outings with my kiddos , leave when I want. Expect nothing from him and no deep communication and watching him go NUTS!!!! I love it!!!

I had 23 years with the ex narc, I felt like leaving her 10 years prior but pulled up my boot strap and gave her and our son the best. When I quit giving in to her petty temper tantrums she grew mean,distant and cold. As I grew more content and peaceful she came unglued and abandoned us. My son and I have grown spiritually and with much awareness out of these ashes....

I have a son with my ex so all I do is try to limit my contact with him. He can really mess with my emotions. My anxiety has improved so much since I left!

My mom has been married to my narcissist stepdad for over 30 years. They get worse with time. She’s completely starved emotionally. Please leave.

It is impossible to have an authentic relationship with an unauthentic person - not only because of their false self, but also because you are unable to be your true self as a consequence of their control and manipulation of you; and due to your own self-preservation measures against their abusive behaviours. Likewise, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship with an emotionally unhealthy person. You simply cannot negotiate with an emotional terrorist who uses emotional reasoning to justify their abuse - and who then gaslights you and invalidates your reality. In particular, staying with them after you figure them out is dangerous because when their manipulations stop working and they can no longer control you, their narcissistic rage escalates. And although you may have observed their mask slip before, nothing prepares you for when their mask is fully off. You see everything that they have been hiding - you see just how sadistic, cruel and full of hatred they are. And if that doesn't mess with your mind, they then try to fix that mask back in place like nothing has happened and the love-bombing and gas-lighting starts again..... HG Tudor - "Once you know, you go."

That person has a demon tormenting you thro them.

I’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist for 7 years. I realized he was a narcissist a month ago. Things are finally making sense now that I know.

Me: codependent. Her: NPD = a match made it hell. Finally ended it after 4 years because I refused to compete with her drinking problem and checking in and out of our relationship whenever she pleased. I did it for myself. It hurts a lot and I still love her but I love myself more and she wasn’t there for me during my toughest days. I deserve so much better.

Everything in this video is on point. I related to every second of it. I left a 6.5 year relationship with a covert narcissist 1 month ago after he discarded me and then tried to hoover. For anyone who is feeling literally “madly” in love, I promise I was you 1 month ago. My heart and mind finally caught up to the reality of what was going on. I feel no love towards him anymore. I went from wanting to talk to him and begging to understand why he would cheat and lie, to now I don’t even wonder. I am shocked at how much my feelings changed but the moment I think it happened was after the discard when he terrorized me during an important point in my career that could have cost me my dream. What solidified it was 2 weeks later him being caught again cheating during the discard/Hoover phase. I started having physical symptoms of my head feeling congested and like it’s going to explode. I would have chest pain, nausea in the mornings, stomach pain to the point of clenching my hands. Mind you, I am a healthy person in my late 20s and go to the gym 3x a week. The narcissist literally threatens your life by first destroying your mind, then body. I appreciate how the healing process is described as a “spiritual awakening” because I truly feel that way now. I feel like a woman who’s been freed from a demon. His words have no weight as they used to. It would be comedic if it weren’t so sad. I feared not being able to find a better partner (largely because he crushed my self-esteem and would tell me he’s the best person for me- he’s a clown too did I mention?) and now… the attention I get from men everyday is validation enough that he never saw my worth when strangers show more attention. Men and women going through this abuse, take care of yourselves and let go of the pain so you can make room for a better life with someone who is 1000x the man/woman the narcissist can ever pretend to be.

Very true. BUT... I kept a journal. That stopped the gaslighting. I'd just go back to the day and there was what was actually said or happened. And then, when I began doing extensive research into WHY this behavior was going on - and showed her - she immediately "moved on"... The whole experience lasted 3 years. I did not realize that I was trauma bonded at that point. Eventually, I figured it out - and now I am free!

Narrisst always blame you for their actions!!! I was married for 31 years! The damage that they do is unbelievable stressful! I am disabled from his abuse and our adult children are trying to move on but hes blaming me for the divorce.

You’ll waste all your lifetime potential and purpose.

This so accurately describes my ex. Was married for 20 years. I knew he was controlling but had no idea what a narcissist was! If I knew then what I know now!!!

It has absolutely nothing to do with anyone being “ strong enough”. That’s placing the responsibility on the abuse victim. You walk away. Which has no bearing on one’s strength or weakness. It’s a boundary or not a boundary. If a person believes that they must be “strong enough to…” they may never get out. Is someone hurting you? You are enough. You are worthy of love and care. Why? Because you are a human being. You automatically deserve respect and human decency. If they mistreat you, you they do not get to do it more. Narcs do not and can not change. You do not to have “ enough” of anything, including “ strength”. YOU ARE ENOUGH, just as you ARE. ❤️

Exactly what I needed to hear. I believe God speaks to us through others and He spoke loud and clear through you. Thank you for all you do. God bless

Part of the problem is I’ve often felt “off” about relationships but when you air your concerns people tend to look on the brights side because they think that’s what you want to hear. We should go with our guts more and worry less about what other people say, not everything is what it seems.

These videos have really been helping me get through a rough breakup with a narcissist and manipulator. I was manipulated into thinking everything was my fault. I was called so many names and was told what I couldn't and could do. The thing that's the most sad about it is that I allowed it to happen and was suffering so much trying to make them feel happy. Since I've gotten out, I feel so free. No more emotional pain and stress. Time to work on myself. Know that you AREN'T alone and that you deserve so much better than what you're getting. A person who truly loves you will give you the respect that you are giving them. If they don't, don't waste anymore of your time!

Get out now while you can! I just lost my sister a week ago to a narcissist she had been with for almost 3 years! These people are toxic! My sister was a very loving,caring person! She deserved so much better and now she will never have that chance! Please get out if you are with a narcissist!

There were SO many times where I told him “you’re like a drug that I feel addicted to”. This video is so helpful to me and many others. Thank you 💛

It’s a trade off What are you gaining by staying with them....Is it worth it ? I need someone who has my back not stab me in the back

💯✅ Run away & never look back!

It’s difficult to find self control as an adult when you grew up conditioned by a controlling mother. It’s an ongoing abusive cycle. Expect to be let down consistently. I stopped accepting crumbs from my mother but accepted them from my boyfriend, after boyfriend No more!

It’s True, I’ve experienced this rage over days, months, years, decades It’s an going battle Truly a no win situation

I endured a narcissist relationship for 10 years. I was an enabler and a codependent which was so toxic. My self esteem is so messed up that I will need years of therapy to undo this. I'm free of the relationship but I'm not free. This is a good video. Thank you..finally understanding that I'm not hallucinating lol

Truer words have never been spoken. The answer lies within you, continue on your journey, people are sometimes incarnations of your demons that only you can slay. There's so much in life to enjoy once you can see beyond this.

Was with my narcissist ex for 30 years. He abused me in every way possible after a year of love bombing in order to get me to marry him. He was abusive to our oldest son as well & now he is the only child who sees what really happened. Our daughter won’t even speak to me & he gives her attention that she never got as a child. These people are destructive monsters that destroy the lives of those around them. Mine most likely would have killed me. I am very happy to be alive!

Stephanie, it's like you have been watching my life all these years! This is exactly how my wife behaves! I spent 20 years wondering how I can make things work and drove myself crazy wondering what I was doing wrong. Thanks for making your videos! They have helped take the burden off my shoulders.

My sons therapist was the one that enlightened me. I was with his dad for 25 years and knew he was toxic but I had no name for it, I really felt like it was all my fault that the marriage wasn’t working. They are such good manipulators that you don’t even have a moment to know you have been manipulated.

Yes! I came to this point where I said it feels like we are just both here living separate lives. And he doesn’t even realize there is a problem. Feels like a business relationship. Not love.

Well, I don’t know how KZfaq and Facebook calculated this but they started recommending me these type of videos how to deal with a narcissist. Then I started watching them on full volume while next to my ex, that turned out to be a covert narcissist. It took him 2 weeks and some family drama and I was discarded. Good for me! 😎

Thank you so much for this!! Am divorced after 16 years before I figured this out after suffering to the point of panic disorder, unable to eat, etc. Even after all that, I still wonder if I missed something and should have tried harder, but hearing this validates that nothing would have changed for me. He wasn't capable of empathy or compassion for me as a person and I have to accept that.... Your videos are life saving!!!! Truly!!!

Thank you for this validation. I left borderline narcissist 7 months ago and I never look back. I want to live my life, instead living a part of his misery nonstop.

I want to crawl outside my own skin to get away from him ...

What you just expressed is exactly what just happened in my relationship. I decided to let him off the hook by saying hey, just be free. No need to stay attached to me, just be free! He said, I am free, hey I have another call coming in. His effort was exactly that minimal the entire time. Nothing changed from beginning to end. I gave myself the gift of freedom. Thanks for the great video.

The best explanation of why “no contact” is necessary…the lightbulb came on! Thank you.🙏🏾

They are broken toys but we were too. A healthy person doesn’t get attached to a narc. The difference is that we have the ability to grow and heal and they don’t. If we do the work, we wake up and become a new person. They will always be subhumans.

Thank you so much. I spent 10 years in a marriage with someone who would love bomb me then manipulate me to get the things they wanted. I never seen it happening, I was unaware.After 10 years she left without a word and served me divorce papers within a week. I was stunned. All I can say is these videos help me be more aware now and realize my self worth that I had lost . Thanks again!

I’m 38 and still married to a narcissist for the past 10 years. I’ve been verbally abused, controlled have no bank account, (although I originally added my new wife to my existing account) No lease for the apartment we are living in (Although I actually invited her to come live in my apartment as join my lease), have Zero mutual friends , (I’m literally left with close to none following a decade of endless lies and manipulation) I have discovered thru personal research (YT) that my wife’s a narcissist BUT took me 9 out 10 years to fully understand what’s going on! We have 2 Beautiful girls 8 and 5 together and my hearts destroyed for them. At the end of the month I will begin a new life. God bless everyone , prayers. TY for this outstanding video I really needed to hear this again Sincerely Arie

If you are still with a narcissist, RUN! I almost died being with one. They will suck the life out of you, and then it will be too late. Best of luck to you. ❤️ ⚘️

It's amazing that i actually needed to hear this now. I did blocked her without telling her it's over, because i got tired of her blameshift,making me the bad guy. I know i can't discuss with her like a normal person.

That’s exactly what I did I would start to Google and watch videos on narcissism. I’ve been with my BF for two years and between the narcissism and the alcohol abuse it’s really taken a toll on me. I love this man but I feel it’s definitely effecting my health now and I’ve gotten to the point I can’t do this anymore . The constant arguing , the drinking, etc It finally did me in and I’ve had enough. To make matters worse I find him on a dating site a year and a half in to our relationship. I forgave him like a fool, but now I finally had my awakening and ready to move on and love myself more than him.

Very helpful. Thank you for opening my eyes. I've been an awful enabler to a very damaged narcissist and finally had to leave totally exhausted and haunted.

you talking about 'three-year, five-year, seven-year span of love-bombing' gave me goosebumps. Everyone is talking about love-bombing like it is rather short span, and I was doubting myself if what happened to me was love-bombing that lasted for years. I've never thought it is possible to 'hide' for such a long time. She started to show her true face after we've got 1st child, but after seconds the mask fallen off completely. I've survived 4 years of abuse, explaining it's good for children to have full family, trying hard to be the best father and husband. Fast forward after I've discovered she is 'not loyal' to me for months, i've learned about NPD, I've set the boundaries, all of sudden, as soon as I set boundaries (hitting rock-bottom of my standards because of her being hmm unfaithful) the love-bombing stopped and all I got was hate and contempt. I've tried counselling and everything to get her on track, but after a year I've accepted I'm not going to change her, and now during divorce process, which again showed me how little I mean for her (trying to alienate me from our boys etc). I'm happy that I've finally saw and accepted her true face, rather than waste another years trying to fix what cannot be fixed and living in illusion that future might be better.

IMO if you stay with the narc. your spirit & soul dies a slow & tormenting death you lose your energy your will your confidence you lose yourself you become dead while you are still living.

My relationship felt like Armageddon. Angels vs Demons. It catalized me into a higher spiritual awareness. I still hold him in my prayers.

Nice sum-up 👍🏻 it’s like dealing with a toddler or a grumpy teenager. There’s no real emotional intimacy and you feel like you’re living with Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde, never knowing which one you’re dealing with. You carry all the emotional weight of the relationship, do all the work and they just stay the same: it’s exhausting. They put up walls as soon as you complain about something or try to be heard and anything you throw at them bounces back and hurts you. I call my narc “the rubber wall”. When they feel you’re slipping away from their grip they love-bomb you to suck you back in, and the moment they know they got you back they start behaving badly again.

Hi Stephanie, It is as if you are speaking directly to me...literally to ME. I have been in this marriage 25 yrs and I am exhausted, so lonely, and terrified,...I just don't no how to end the cycle, how to jump off the train. I literally have tried to plan it out but it seems all but impossible. I will keep listening...Thank you~

I literally said the very words, “I felt like I was asleep for years and now I’ve awakened.” Crazy.

I needed to hear this Stephanie I am really thankful for this video, as you said it is not love , it becomes an unhealthy addiction. He did everything to become "prince charming" and once he decides to show who he really is and starts manipulating and threatening you. In my case, from my inability to say no to his demands, I suffered a loss of identity. I no longer received validation from myself but rather from him. And that behavior, as you stated becomes an unhealthy cycle. Thank you again , I needed to hear this. Glad I'm no longer in that relationship.

30 yrs married, just learning I am so independent, it enabled her narc behavior. I have never needed any supply, so I never noticed her abuse until I became disabled and sick. Abandoned, shamed, blamed, judged and criticized me, and left me to die, blew my mind…done

So true. I can't believe how you can put it in words exactly the way it is and feels. Thank you so much!

I broke up with my narc ex but made the mistake of not going no contact. He continued to try and gaslight me and play games. Being as I moved away, the only access he had to me was my friend. He began triangulating me with my friend, insinuating that she was coming onto him. When I wouldn't respond, he goes the extra mile by manipulating texts to convince me that there was something going on between them. This was a friend of mine that he HATED and would constantly badmouth. So to use her to get to me is very cynical and honestly a new low. Please go no contact and if you can block these people.

This is my favorite video so far!!!! You have no idea how much this has helped me at this particular time in my life. Literally right this moment, I needed to see this!!! I have shared your videos so many times with friends and family. You are the best!!!! Thank you!!!!

Another amazing video! I resonate with many things you share and most of what you mentioned happened to me in a friendship. All you say is very direct, honest and true!!! And I love it cause you’ve helped a lot. Through your videos I finally understood and realized that I was in a toxic friendship and that’s why wasn’t working even if I was giving all I could to be in a good space with this person. Became so unbearable and crazy and I was so intrigued like “WTH is happening?!” that I started to search about unhealthy/healthy relationships and that’s when I found you for about a year ago. And keep following you since then. Thanks a lot for all you share and do, you have no idea how this is important and helpful to so many people like me. I am grateful for you! Infinite blessings to you! ❤️

Wow! I’ve listened to a lot of people describing narcissistic relationships but you are so knowledgeable and clear with your information. Thank you 🙏

Thank you for explaining WHY you should go no contact, it makes sense now. Good info. You are going up against something that's not human and has no empathy.

I love your narcissist videos Stephanie they are such a big help. I knew none of the signs on npd until I started watching your videos they are so insightful. Please keep up the good work and keep spreading the information.

Wow. Thank you, Stephanie. I’ve been watching a lot of your videos lately, but this one really connected the dots.

It's all about THEM and zero about YOU! Boom

Another fantastic video. You explain everything perfectly always. Thank you Steph x

I wish I'd seen this video 3 year's ago!! I knew something wasn't right but had know idea I was in a narcissistic relationship... described with perfection!!

Hi Stephanie. I have watched a lot of narcissist video teachings, yours as well as others, and this was definitely one of the best. There is such healing power in this video because what you are saying is that a meaningful emotional relationship is simply not possible with a narcissist. So for someone who has been discarded as I have been, and who still at times misses my ex, your message is essentially that if I was still in it there was no intimate future in prospect regardless, just a bleak co-existence like housemates who have mainly superficial conversations. That is not what I want, and messages like this help more than you know. Thank you and looking forward to more content 🙏

My personal awakening happened through a relationship like that as well. Thank you for sharing the video. Beautiful❤

Great insight and I hope the right person who needs to hear this, reads this and understands it so they may be transformed into the best version of themselves by putting a final end (with confidence and self-belief) to the toxic cycle with a toxic person thats been in their life. Bless you with strength and light to fight this off and see the better days that await you when the toxicity is out of your life. Im proud to say Ive been through the rollercoaster hundreds of times with the same person, took several hard years, but you know what- I learned a lot every single time (so no guilt or regret) and kept learning things clearly that I needed to, until one day I knew I was really ready, I knew it was right in every way with clarity and was FINALLY able to cut the cord, feeling pure relief and bliss when it was done. I hope anyone needing to hear this receives the answers their soul is seeking, the healing, the strength of knowing and faith that they CAN and WILL move out of this state. Its all up to you, dont give up and dont give in, listen when ur intuition tells you whats the best thing to do for your wellbeing and growth. Bless you all!

Thank you so much for this video! You are the most knowledgeable person I’ve found online regarding narcissistic relationships. And I can tell you that it almost feels like they have multiple personality disorder too because with each cycle I deal with a different person or character that he’s playing! It’s so exhausting and I’m just about done with men and relationships period! I’m going to be the best I can be for me and my son! 💕 blessings to all 🙏🏼

Thank you for this well detailed and very organized video. I wish we can all really understand what you said in minute 3 that "IT IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES" so no one is going to rescue you but YOU.

Thank you you are answering questions I've had for years..getting a true understanding that the cycle never ends gives me comfort coming g out of my relationship..I blamed myself for years.❤

Thank you, extremely relevant to what I’m going through now.

I wish my daughter would have been privy to this information, before she went back to her boyfriend!

Great video. Thank you for this clear,precise explanation of the bare facts on relationship dynamics with a Narcissist.

This is so content packed I need to watch it several times to take it all in.

Thank you so much for all your videos, Stephanie. They're very enlightening and helpful. It's truly noble--what you're doing :)

Spot on, Stephanie! Love your makeup colors, btw. 🙂

The rollercoaster. My brain cannot function anymore. 4 years. Love bombing made me feel absolutely loved and appreciated. Then devaluing. The short term discard of days with almost no contact. Then more love bombing. Those good times are what hooked me.

Excellently put. Just what I needed to hear! Thanks!

I can't get enough of your videos, Stephanie. Keep them coming. Thankfully I've only been in one narcissistically abusive RL and I walked away after 6 months because I reached a breaking point. I walked away much wiser, stronger, and more careful about who I give my energy, love and life to.

Cycle never ends! 26yrs was enough.

Miss Lyn, you are absolutely amazing at wording out, so precisely, what i am feeling. Thank you!!!

Wow....... this video is so clear and concise. Definitely helped clarify A LOT!