Narcissists will Bait you to Accept their Abuse

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Narcissists will Bait you to Accept their Abuse

Рет қаралды 5,550

Күн бұрын

Were you prey to the bait? Share your story in the comments
If you're a woman feeling trapped in a toxic relationship and looking for freedom, you've come to the right place. With over 3000+ clients, I've integrated everything I've learned into a comprehensive program designed to help you reclaim your freedom. My goal is to guide you to break free without confronting or trying to fix him. Together, let's rediscover YOU and cultivate your confidence and clarity. To take the next step in your healing journey with me, visit www.rawmotivat...
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If you're a man struggling with narcissistic traits and seeking the path, community, and transformation that I've experienced, I'm here to help - but only if you are serious about investing the time and energy. To begin this journey with me, schedule a session at www.rawmotivat...
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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.
Platforms I am on:
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Podcast - anchor.fm/rawm...
KZfaq - / rawmotivations
#narcissism #narcissist #npd

Пікірлер: 78

@cherrybacon3319 Жыл бұрын

We get to a level of anxiety and trauma where we seem to be in a permanent state of 'fight or flight'. 🍒

@cupcake0480 Жыл бұрын

This is so true. And it’s evident when you leave as your nervous system is burned out

@kisigma1011 Жыл бұрын

Yo deadass

@saintejeannedarc9460 Жыл бұрын

Yes, that sure is true after awhile. I blamed it on my own pre-existing problems w/ depression and chronic illness. It wasn't. I'd never been this bad.

@rachael_grey Жыл бұрын

I am still in this state, after two years of lies, cheating, truly cynical gaslighting, and a drip-drip-drip of heartbreaking revelations. I have become hypervigilant again, constantly bracing myself for the next "hit." We have been married for 22 years, and while I knew and accepted his flaws (and I thought he did the same for me), the mess he's made of our lives was something I never, ever dreamed he'd do.

@cupcake0480 Жыл бұрын

Before I knew about love bombing, I couldn’t understand why he switched the affection on and off at will. I stayed because I knew and had seen he was capable of being loving and amazing towards me. So I tried to get us back to that place. I know now that it was just a vile and cruel game. It’s hideous that anyone can do this for years

@saintejeannedarc9460 Жыл бұрын

It's not a cruel game at the beginning. I think Ben is wrong about grooming us from the start. Even on Lee's channel, he says that at the beginning he really does love or think he's in love. They are generally looking for love the same way we are. If it is really NPD that they have, then that's a serious disorder and they have maladaptive dysfunctions that make them blow it, time and again. They don't know what's wrong either. Please try Heal NPD, The Nameless Narcissist or Dr. Ruth Ann Harpur to understand this better. It doesn't stop all the pain, but it sure helped me to realize it's a disorder and not willful abuse from the beginning. I'm out of a 10 yr ordeal and the healing really started when I realized this. Seeing it as willful hurt so much more. Intention matters a lot.

@jacquelinefroehle3583 Жыл бұрын

They start with doing something totally shocking and confusing. You try to understand what the hell happened and why. Then try to get back to a normal peaceful life....and they do something else shocking. Narcissist have Authority problem and they can not reason in good way and the decisions are manipulative and the gaslighting.

@rebekahjette6304 Жыл бұрын

Survivors/thrivers need to tell others how to recognize abuse, in all forms‼️#mygoal

@MindBodyStorm Жыл бұрын

This is hard to deal with when this comes from Narc family......With A SMILE ON THEIR FACE😡🤬🤬😤‼️

@marycummings6044 Жыл бұрын

More lies, more trying to think it's going to be different this time..but it's a rigged game, right from the beginning. It's always rigged when you're dealing with a pathological liar. Thank you for your help and insight.. thank you.

@Twany1954 6 ай бұрын

When they act like that it’s all bullshit. They are mirroring you, you actually fell in love with yourself.🤡👈🏻

@meagan1389 Жыл бұрын

Everything felt normal. I really don’t know how I put up with it all, but I did. Then one day, it clicked. I knew I needed to get out. I made a quick plan

@brendadean9291 4 ай бұрын

Ben you said something wonderful. You cannot judge yourself on the past based on knowledge you now know in the present.

@queenr.480 Жыл бұрын

What a beautiful way that you and mentalhealness repackage your narcissistic disorder and own it in such a way that you produce such valuable insight and support for it's very victims. Thank you for your service!

@forever_young220 Жыл бұрын

I hate myself for doing everything you said and stayed in a marriage till he left me for someone else ....I feel like I WAS such an idiot!!! And the worst thing is that with my example iaccidentally groomed my 4 children to put up with this kind of abuse.... That is what hurts me the most .... 🥺😞 They are so used to seeing this kind of abuse that now that they are young adults and i see how they excuse their fathers actions all the time .... Im just terrified that they will find a spouse just like their father and go through the same abuse in their own families and it will be normal for them ....and that's where I feel that it is all my fault 🥺🥺🥺

@eeyoresgirl55 Жыл бұрын

Stop taking on responsibility for his evil. You’re the victim and he is at the least a moral criminal if not an actual one. No excuses for evil people.

@forever_young220 Жыл бұрын

@@eeyoresgirl55 thank you

@danielaspitz3052 Жыл бұрын

I was raised by a Narc mother. I knew she has narcissistic traits, but I couldn't make sense of all her brutal behaviours towards me, she never treated others this way. I was with various narcissistic men in my life, but only the last one made me get suicidal like my mother did. In Germany, there's barely knowledge about various forms of narcissism, I studied English sites and watched English videos and came across covert Narcissism. It all makes sense now, I never knew how to be treated in human ways. I was in constant crazy mode and thought it was me. Being with a healthy man and almost healed from CPTSD in only two years, I know that I always lived by the standards I do, now, but I reacted totally different from how I really am as an Introvert and HSP. And my Ex loved telling me I was way nicer and much more understanding than the other women. I'm the first one who gave him hell, the Empath's rage got at him. He still stayed because he has nobody else and called himself the victim and co-dependent. LOL

@edgreen8140 Жыл бұрын

No one will be the one to fix them. The grandious I date did a little. The vulnerable did more. That book is great.

@kimpaintscanvas7023 Жыл бұрын

This video is golden!! And it's everything I needed to hear right now. Thank you for helping me feel valid, sane, justified, and inspired. Many blessings to you and yours 🙏💚💙

@RawMotivations Жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

@cupcake0480 Жыл бұрын

I wanted to get it to a place where things were calm and I would be able to work out what was happening and then I was going leave with clarity. The trouble is, he never let it get to a calm place. There was always a drama he would start or weird behaviour or say something ridiculous and it had my attention every time, even when I wanted to ignore it. It’s as though the more outrageous he was the more compelled I was to look his way. I was drawn to puzzling him out. I needed definite answers about what he was before I left in case I made a mistake. All the time he was telling me he was in love with me and we had an amazing future together. While also telling me he wasn’t sure he trusted me and was tempted to cheat. It’s totally crazy making. He told me his supposed ex would blow up on him, go crazy mad and he was glad I was very calm and didn’t get angry. I can’t tell you how much frustration I stuffed down when I was up against his abuse, because I didn’t want to be angry for exactly the reason you say here. In the end I did get angry and then I ended up looking like the crazy one 🙄

@victoriavitoroulis3273 Жыл бұрын

That’s the goal .. making us look crazy .. so they can feel & look normal ..

@brendaleverick3655 Жыл бұрын

I can understand narcissists better than their flying monkeys. Why do they adore the narc so? Are they treated better than the narc's victims? Is that why? Are they just waiting in line to take the victim's place in line? They are the WORST, in my opinion.

@kimpaintscanvas7023 Жыл бұрын

I feel the same way. They do get better treatment, but I wonder if they see reality for what it is and know the person is a narc and just choose to side with them, or if they really believe the lies and think the narc is the victim. My step daughters who I love so much have turned into my narcs flying monkeys and we no longer have a relationship. But they're telling lies about me in front of their little sisters who happen to be my daughters so I have a huge problem with that. Blessings to you for a new life without any flying monkeys.

@jacquelinefroehle3583 Жыл бұрын

They are Narcissist in training. They are brainwashed trauma bonded....rewarded for treating the Narcissist as their little evil gods.

@brendaleverick3655 Жыл бұрын

@@kimpaintscanvas7023 Thank you. May we both have better people in our lives in the future.

@eeyoresgirl55 Жыл бұрын

Flying monkeys have NO morals absolutely none. They’re cowardly as well as sadistic. Absolute trash.

@honeybee3317 Жыл бұрын

Some flying monkeys are malicious, while others just have not seen the covert narc side of a family member. However, when a nasty event happens to themselves that's when members of the family wake up...but only a few....the decent ones. The rest stay in denial and even ostracise the victim.

@JessicaKelly-by4fj Жыл бұрын

Absolutely, I made this comment and one of the last videos he absolutely did this told me that his excuse to chase them around when they would argue and how much he hated that but he only did that so when we would argue or whatever or when he would pick a fight he can run out to his truck or walk up and down the street and get on the phone somebody else and of course I just thought I was being the perfect person to him by giving it a space I've just learned so much but these podcast I just can look back and see everything that happened

@robbies8101 Жыл бұрын

Well done.

@fredrice3350 Жыл бұрын

You are on point......

@Joy.1111 Жыл бұрын

Thank you & yes it’s true. What we need to hear. I’m not crazy and I’m not alone.

@Reaper_thecreaper Жыл бұрын

Thanks God I'm out of this relationship. Thanks Ben ❤ all my love to you.

@Joy.1111 Жыл бұрын

Right ... grace just didn’t know.

@Reaper_thecreaper Жыл бұрын

Hi Ben. This is exactly what happened to me. ❤

@DakshaiRanger Жыл бұрын

Of all the different channels about narc abuse, and of the hundreds of videos I've probably watched over the last year, you, Lee Hammock, and other self-aware narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths really made me understand what was actually happening during a certain relationship the best. I'm getting to the point now where I can reflect on all the imaginary lectures I've been giving that ex in my head about every single thing they did that was hurtful, and slam it down with a single, stone-cold fact: "She knows."

@RawMotivations Жыл бұрын

Sending you warm thoughts and well wishes on your journey to healing

@beautifullygifted_5333 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for these videos they really been helping me to cope on my healing journey . I’m a single mom of 2 and these videos are really bringing a lot of clarity to the confusion I was living in until I removed myself.

@lobsterbisque7567 Жыл бұрын

Great video, Ben!! Thank You for pointing out the subtlies of the exact grooming/manipulation tactics that Narcs used. My ex used very subtle wordplay just as You described in this video, and I can attest that they worked on me! Thankfully, I didn't ruminate, or kick myself for too long after walking away. I'm not even mad at her. Her life is in shambles beyond the point of recovery, and I take comfort in knowing that by sept. '23, She'll have been overtaken by her lung cancer if not sooner. Thanks Again, Ben!

@RawMotivations Жыл бұрын

Would love to have you try out our new program to heal. Escape Toxicity: The 7 Day Challenge to healing. Check out this short challenge with daily videos from Ben Taylor and daily assignments with other survivors to aide in your healing. escapetoxicity.com

@nellyd2933 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much. This is a powerful video.

@Reaper_thecreaper Жыл бұрын

Looking back now she always brought me down in public in front of everyone. Omg

@rachael_grey Жыл бұрын

Mine tore me down behind my back, using me as his "excuse" for his bad behaviors. I cannot believe how many people have come out of the woodwork to tell me about this, and how conflicted they've been about telling me over the last five years.

@Reaper_thecreaper Жыл бұрын

@@rachael_grey I'm a year into healing and recovery. It was a blessing I got out. And yes! People tell me have been telling me all kinds of things. It's crazy. Stay strong! God bless you.....♥️

@Joy.1111 Жыл бұрын

Yep

@CL-lo4wd Жыл бұрын

Facts

@marieclaire6060 Жыл бұрын

I liked it before it even began!

@RawMotivations Жыл бұрын

Haha thanks!

@AlwaysHope2019 Жыл бұрын

Thank you Ben Great discussion as always Your literally the best person help us all Be proud of yourself and the work your doing Your saving lives ❤️

@BethHpuppets Жыл бұрын

I have seen it happen. There was a young teen that was fan of a livestream show where the host exhibited narcissistic traits. He got given a title and voluntary role of creating videos promoting the show which he was very proud and excited to be doing. He was pressured to produce more videos quickly or he would be stood down from his role. They even advertised a replacement while he was in the role making him wonder if he was good enough. He was up late at night worrying he would lose his title and produced a video early the following morning only to have it deleted without explanation. He still remained a fan of the livestream show.

@kimpaintscanvas7023 Жыл бұрын

Wow. That's disgusting to treat a fan/volunteer that way. And extra disgusting to treat a teen that way, especially when not even family or a close relationship. I hope the kid eventually realizes the truth about that situation.

@UCHECHUKWUm Жыл бұрын

Living with a narcissist is disorienting because they everything I’d ever wanted in a man and in the beginning presented himself as my biggest fan and supporter. He was charming, loving, passionate, and attentive to my every need, both emotional and physical. Until he wasn’t.Until a side of him popped up every so often that threw me off balance, he started to cheat, he was so protective of his phone, yesterday I got in contact with a hacker here who helped cloned his phone and that gave me access to his text messages and social media without touching his phone, I wanted to be sure if my suspicion was right or wrong, I still can't believe what I saw today, he's cheating with several women, I've made up my mind not to be with him anymore cause this is the height of it all, I'm sure so many women are in a similar situation and you deserve to know if you're being cheated on, here's the private investigator information, you can get in touch with him on Instagram instagram.com/aiden_____ace?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

@MeCynthiaAnn 4 ай бұрын

YUUUPER Thank you so much! From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA

@samstone2424 Жыл бұрын

Wow Ben what an awesome video! Thank you so much!

@RawMotivations Жыл бұрын

Glad you liked it!

@marioVSN Жыл бұрын

This is so accurate with what I experienced!!! Thanks for the 'solidification' of the concept

@RawMotivations Жыл бұрын

You're so welcome!

@thisguy8224 Жыл бұрын

This is such a good video man. It’s so embarrassing and scary how you can explain my exact situations I went through. Subtle jabs , I respond, she says it’s a joke and I’m sensitive. The crap about her ex and everything. And I was apparently the crazy one, I was controlling and insecure….my gut just knew things weren’t right and then we’d have a blowout fight…then she’d have sex with me and it would all repeat

@anngardner5607 Жыл бұрын

Thank you xx needed this validation

@RawMotivations Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome

@kellyd7959 Жыл бұрын

Ben, ty for this! The algebra analogy 💥🙏😵‍💫

@Softman264 Жыл бұрын

This was really worth hearing.

@CL-lo4wd Жыл бұрын

Oh, the names he called me “in jest”…

@BitcoinNewsTodayLive Жыл бұрын

Could you post the podcast audio on KZfaq too?

@kimpeterson875 2 ай бұрын

I'm surprised your wife didn't divorce you for cheating on her😮❤

@RawMotivations 2 ай бұрын

She did leave

@Proposal12 Жыл бұрын

Just because you find someone and you do have a lot in common , does that equal to being with a narc or when it´s just too much of it!? I´ve been in a narc "relationship" and after 4y im back in another one and its very good, she has ironic humor and i have sarcastic humor and we just go back and forth at each other, respectfully from both sides among many other things, sure we disagree on things but respect each others point of views...It sometimes throws me off if im with one or not...