I think some of us are naturally highly agreeable in personality. We become people pleasers and other people get used to us taking that role. When we start to think about what we want and need, it takes other people by surprise. They’d prefer we stayed the same highly agreeable people pleasers. Saying no and setting boundaries seems out of character to them and they feel disappointed we are suddenly not making them first priority anymore.

Hey Man, you're not alone. Keep making these videos. You're the voice for a lot of us.

Hey Adam, I'm glad to hear that you are doing better. I had the similar problem when it comes to finding out who I actually am. As a gay person that grew up in a homophobic place I had to learn how to adapt and mold myself into what others expected and once I was free I felt lost as to who I actually was. It's hard to change a habit and get enough courage to be your authentic self

I am catching up with your vids, and with this one it seems that you have been brought up in a challenging environment. I am coming from a dysfunctional family and I decided to fold and leave ‘the table’. I cut off ties and moved away. That helped a lot, also to find a new environment with great friends, to do new stuff, change jobs, etc. I learned that I was not responsible for choices that some family members took in their lives. Never feel bad to set boundaries, it’s for your own health. I send positive energy to you, take good care of yourself 💟

I just found your account. Been commenting on a couple of old vids. There are so many out here that wants to connect with you, be a positive force, a friend just because. Because we're all human. Many of us that grew up in the 80s and 90s feel the same. But we are not failures ❤❤❤. I know exactly though, what it's like going through this. Sending all my love and friendship.

nice job working and getting counseling. Be proud of yourself and I know tons of blokes like us are proud of ya. I'm stuck in a bad loop right now but like Bob Ross said: Gotta have a little sadness once in awhile so you know when the good times come. I'm waitin' on the good times now.

this vid, this entire channel is NOT trash. this is the real emotion of you as a person

Your healing is the most important thing. If you post once a year or none at all that's ok. You don't owe anyone here anything. Just do what you need to do to feel better.👍

Hey Adam 👋 Your taking better care of your own feelings and wishes, that wonderful. It's always difficult changing for the better, because of other reactions, but stay strong and do things for you. I understand how difficult things are when you've been the people pleaser, but you deserve happiness and to work out who you really are and what your really want . Keep going, your fighting strong 💪 keep honest and don't be afraid to choose your own needs 1st. ✨️ we will stick around and enjoy your journey. You have plenty of value, and you bring honesty to people who enjoy watching you because you are real and good. Take care, Melissa ✨️

I totally understand everything you say. I'm going through dome massive changes and it's exhausting but sometimes staying still is no longer an option.

You've gotta do what you've gotta do. I've started going to therapy too, only one session so far. Your videos have value in that they can show the viewer they're not alone in working towards figuring things out through trying times, aiming to constantly improve, and pushing through their comfort zone

It is good to see you back and slowly healing, there's no doubt about that at all, and your vlogs do provide a lot of value not only to myself but a lot of people out there, going through similar situations, or those who have gone through similar, in the past, I'm sure. I think it also motivates people to speak out about these things, not to feel ashamed and to get the necessary professional help, no matter how small or insignificant the problem might seem to you. Look forward to the next vlog whenever that might be.

Hi, don't worry about taking a break from youtube. A lot of youtubers do it all the time. 😌

Adam, you can rest assured that there IS value in you doing these videos and in what you say. Navigating life is hard and you articulate this perfectly and to hear you doing that makes me feel less alone and instantly comforted. Thank you.

Your explanation of being the person that has been built up from how you act around others and what is expected by society is spot on Adam. Up until recently I’ve been the same why trying to figure out who I actually am for myself. I’ve started to actually break out of the “constructed” me to the real me and the main tool that has helped me is mindfulness. Everyone has a tool that can break that mold around them, it’s just finding the right tool. Always supporting you Adam and take as long as you want with video gaps. Just pop in to say I’m doing well, or this is me at the moment ;) Edit: I’ve made a reply video and feel free to watch if you have the time

I agree that you don’t owe us content. I heard that it’s a lot easier to figure out who you aren’t and move from there. What remains is who you are. Struck a chord with me. I find People want to put you in a cage to control you, to be in charge of you. Use a Bluetooth headset for car messages to us. Don’t worry about quality. Just connect. We are here for you.

I tried to be someone else, but nothin' seemed to change I know now, this is who I really am inside Finally found myself, fighting for a chance I know now, this is who I really am 30 seconds to mars- The Kill (Bury me)

it sounds like therapy really helps you to see things clearer and stand up for yourself and setting boundaries with people who arent emotionally able to see you. dont worry, you dont owe anyone anything on here. it is your right to make caring for yourself a priority. if you are afraid that people might not like you anymore when you act differently than before then obviously they dont care for your feelings or growth. always be honest to youself and dont be afraid to speak your thruth or set boundaries when neccessary. (i assume there is a feeling of "guilt" triggered in you when setting boundaries but i am sure it has its causes in the past too but it can be overcome once you realize how freeing it is to be yourself and not just trying to "fit in" or being "liked"). you can always decide what is important to you. maybe working towards moving to your own place will give you more perspective and freedom from other people's opinions too and will also give you that boost of confidence. i feel like you are on a good way to healing and finding out who you are (and i am sure your ability to honestly self reflect will definitely help in this process a lot). you got this👍

I know what you're going through, man. Sometimes, you just don't feel like doing what you feel deep down you'd like to be doing. Without any explanation. I'm talking to my therapist about similar things. My dreams have been fun lately, lol (sarcasm). I don't know who I am either, in a sense. I'm coming to terms with certain facts about myself. Consciously dealing with personal things and bringing them to the surface can feel exhausting, especially reflecting on those things later. A lot of it is self-esteem issues (for me). I'm trying to re-connect with a few people I've written off in my past, and it's a struggle at times, but overall, it seems to be helping a bit. But take it one day at a time, re-discover what interests you (and doesn't interest you) and find you, for lack of a better word, lol. I second-guess myself a lot. Hearing you speak about these things makes me feel less isolated and exclusive in my life and thoughts. Take care and good to see you again. 👍

Ever thought about having your testosterone levels checked? Also thyroid. Your GP can arrange the test for free but if you're within the 'normal' range you won't get NHS treatment and would have to pay privately. The trouble with the range is it's massive and covers teens to 90 year olds so is pretty useless. I was close to the bottom end of it and my GP didn't want to know. I'm 4 months into testosterone replacement therapy and it's life changing. It's wound the clock back 20 years and I have more vim and vigour. I would bet a lot of men are on anti-depressants who would do much better on more of what their body produces naturally but in insufficient quantity for them to enjoy life like they should.

Yeah you don't owe anybody content Adam, make content when you have the bandwidth. I'm sure if you recorded on your phone we'd still tag along hearing the authenticity

Thanks Adam for this video and for sharing. ❤ If I can have a little of your time I will share my thoughts. 🙂 I'm no health professional etc. but the way I see it the things that define us as people are our "values" and our "beliefs". These are the parameters that shape and influence all manner of our life's choices and decisions. These are very specific to ourselves and have nothing to do with the opinions and actions of others, although toxic people and situations can as a consequence tarnish our character if we allow them to. Taking other peoples' welfare into account and striving to do the right thing for the right reasons is possibly all someone needs as their guiding light in forging meaningful relationships and heading in the right direction in life. Something I believe you already do. ❤ We discover ourselves also through making our own choices and our own decisions, learning to trust our instinct and intuition while also growing from life's challenges and situations endured and overcome. As we progress through life we grow in wisdom to the point we become more rounded and Worldly wise leading to "self-assurance" and "self-belief" coupled with "self-awareness" as we discover we always find a way forward that works for us. This leads to tenacity and resilience as one has to constantly learn and adapt to forge a path forward in life. Then there is also our own personal boundaries and when we compromise those boundaries to please others it can impede on our well-being and the inner-relationship we have with ourselves. If someone is consciously aware of their forward positive internal/Spiritual growth compromising on boundaries will perhaps not matter so much to someone as their emotional equilibrium is still kept in balance (one cancels the other out), but from a place of feeling stagnant or struggling compromising on boundaries will tip the scale to the negative with all the tangents off that. It's all about balance at the end of the day, feeling comfortable with the way we are living our lives and being in the driving seat of one's own life rather than allowing others to dictate it for us. Perhaps one way forward is to start making decisions and carving a future in the direction that leads to personal growth focussing on accomplishing everything that one feels important to themselves reaching a place of contentment and the person they can be proud looking back on in the reflection in the mirror. Adam, some people are very fortunate in that they reach a early place of self-assurance and self-belief from their parents/primary care givers. Others less fortunate have to fill those gaps later in life. It can also be difficult to move forward from a place of dependency/tied to our Mum's apron strings (I'm not saying this relates to yourself), but such a person can feel injustices etc. should be taken care off for them, like the waving of a magic wand, but the reality is as adults that magic wand is very unlikely to materialise, but breaking free from such a mind-set can in itself have its own unique challenges (I just mention this to broaden your understandings on downward spirals/depression etc. etc). Hope this has been of some interest/help etc. As always much love and respect to you. 🙂

hey adam watched you a few months ago then went into one of the worst times of my life and now remembered you! i hope you carry on uploading as coming from a 31 year old fellow brit whos life has fallen apart you give me alot of help keep on going dude!

Just making one more comment to say I’ve made a response video on my channel right now as I was really inspired by this video and wanted to give my experience on the subject. No pressure to watch it, but I wanted to make the video.

I've struggled with not knowing who I am for the longest time. It seems like this catalyst that once I obtain it all my problems will go away. Course it probably doesn't work like that. Keep up the fight Adam

glad you're okay Adam