Steven Seagal knows Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and at least 20 other dangerous words.

I met Steven Seagal once and he told me it was the best experience of my life

I could listen to this guy dunk on Seagal all day.

Seagal is literally the funniest guy of all-time without trying whatsoever.

The last Steven Seagal movie I saw was an in-flight movie, and people still walked out.

Seagal is an expert in so many things because he was born at such a young age.

I love how Tom's impression of Steven Seagal's broken Spanish translated is: "Hello, a lot of cheese" LMFAO 🤣😂😂😂😂

You know what's crazier? He made movies that people people paid to watch where he fights while sitting down. The guy is a genius.

I can confirm everything he said is accurate. I've been on the internet for 34 years

When I met Steven Seagul, he already knew me for like 37 years

Steven is the best actor since the 1880s. He literally never stops acting. Acting like he knows martial arts, directing, geopolitical situations, music and so much more. Seagal just can’t lose or die, or stand up. What an exceptional man.

That last throat kick was EPIC!😂😂😂😂

I honestly could listen to him talk about Steven Segal for an hour.

Steven can't help being an expert, he's been an expert for 87 years.

5:26 "If somebody throws a punch just block it like that" No lie I lost FULL CONTROL of my octaves and facial muscles at that point!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣

I totally burst out laughing with the "Hola... Mucho queso..." bit. Brilliant!

Tom Segura is one of the best story tellers of all time. I should know, I’ve been listening to stories for 73 years.

Steven Segal has a blackbelt in going straight to DVD.

😂 the last Steven seagal movie I saw he literally did the whole movie sitting down 🤦‍♂️ including the fight scenes 😂

Tom is definitely one of the best comedians in our generation

Steven Seagal: "That's the best script I've ever read." Rob Schneider: "Who wrote it." Steven Seagal: "I did." Funniest story I heard about the guy.

I thought that Seagal was some sort of spoof action hero until I realized he was trying to be serious the whole time 😂

Steven Segal is a expert in comedy, hes been doing it for 80 years

Who else is here after watching the Mighty Jingles video? Wasn’t disappointed! This is hilarious. 😂

Steven Seagal: enough about me, let’s talk about me…

Sensei Seagal is a real master martial artist. He taught me the art of bullshido for 69 years, and im only 34!

As far as comedians go Toms delivery is second to none

The mighty jingles sent me 😂

Steven Seagal is the best actor ever. He's in character 24/7.

Fun fact: Seagal once picked a fight with another martial artist on some movie set, who promptly choked him out. He then shit his pants while passed out. He still denies this.

If I'm ever in doubt I always ask myself: what would Seagal Do? And then I do the exact opposite.

Steven Seagal came up to me on the street once. He told me he had known me for the last 34 years.

The fact that Anderson Silva calls Steven Seagal his sensei and Seagal has 100% bought into it for over 10 years without being in on the joke whatsoever tells you everything you need to know about Steven Seagal.

The best part about this is not one joke was written, it’s just truth!

I think this guy is hilarious because when I watch his podcast with his wife he acts just like his stand up he just naturally funny asf

"Welcome captain Kirk" "Is he qualified to do this?" "Oh you've seen him do all that shit" 💀😂🤣

Steven Seagal arranged for an interview, for himself, upon Brandon Lee's death. He proceeded to tell a camera crew that the folks on the set of the movie Brandon was filming called him before they called any medical professionals when the accident happened... and then told him he was amazing (while calling him 'master') for "somehow knowing" the gun had real bullets loaded. Seriously, go watch the interview. It wasn't about the tragedy of the situation, or an ode to Brandon, or condolences for the Lee family; nope...just to talk about how amazing he himself is. He once claimed Van Damme was a "champion of nothing." Despite JCVD's known 19-2 record in full-contact tournaments prior to breaking into movies (both losses of which, he avenged). Van Damme then challenged Seagal to an MMA style fight in response to those comments, or at least one in the fashion of professional kickboxing with gloves and headgear. Steven declined. People used to say that the black-and-white footage of Seagal at an Aikido dojo in Japan was proof of his greatness, because these old Japanese guys were bowing to him. Except...it's a requirement in that martial art and in that culture to bow to anyone who is a teacher. Seagal only "earned" the title because he married the daughter of a guy who was the owner of the dojo, not because he was a great student. Steven Seagal is a legend in his own mind.

Steven Seagal is the living example of “fake it till you make it”.

I met Chuck Berry once. He told me Steven Seagal taught him how to play guitar when he was a kid. He even wrote most of his songs.

I died when he said kick him the throat lol lmfao

Let's face it: Mr. Seagal is a legend in his own mind.

Gold, gold, gold.

That was hilarious. Time to return to the Salt Mine!

I don’t care what anyone says about Steven Seagal, in my eyes the man is a legend at making us all laugh at him.

Man he does a better Steven Seagal impression than Steven Seagal and he has been doing it for 60 years.

"No gracias." Ha Haaaa

"I like Havarti cheese the most. What's your favorite?" 🤣

Steven always has that "whos that all the way over there?" Look on his face

From now on, ALL helicopters I see shall be called “Skippies”

I'll keep watching this for like a 1000 years

best seagal impersonation ever

HONESTLY, few years back Steven Seagal moved into our neighborhood in Southern California. The house he purchased was just down the street from the city dump in Santa Barbara County.. Once he moved in, he began complaining about trash trucks running up and down the street. This city dump it's been there for over 50 years. Thats the mentality of Steven Seagal. We were very happy when we discovered he moved out of town.

Steven seagull is the buddy on pawn stars that Rick calls when he doesn’t know enough about something

This is still one of the best bits ever

The havarti cheese line, broke my ribs laughing. Tom Segura is part of my top 10 favorite comics of all time.

Alternative ending after "the kick": "What are you kicking a poodle?" Steven:"That's not a poodle, it's a shitzu boxer hound mix."

I've been laughing at this special for like 47 months

I’ve been watching this clip on repeat for like 36 years.

'Can I laugh in your face?' 😂

Tom's white guy impersonation of a black guy being whiter than the black guy that Steven Seagal is pretending to be has always brought me joy

Steven Seagal: the man, the myth, the legend in his own mind.

I'm glad I got recommended a video of this guy. He's hilarious!

Bro I've watched this so many times it's hilarious thank you

when seagal was 25yo he had been training dogs for 80years

Seagal's mother-in-law watching Mongolian daytime soap operas on the couch in our reception area will forever remain the most bizarre thing in my life.

If I was in the audience, the moment Tom says 'Steven Seagal', I would've laughed immediately. No need to wait for the '... is crazy' part.

He started all of these Steven Segall memes. Thanks Tom...

Make sure you catch Steven Seagal's latest action-packed trilogy, "Out of Breath", "Gasping for Air", and the grand finale "Tunnel Vision".

Segal made a war movie where he strategically playing the role of the group sniper. "Strategically" because in the movie, all the other guys ran around a town while Segal sat, looking out a balcony window the majority of the movie. When he did have to get up and move, the extent of that movement was to the next window over, which was about 7 feet away.

That sly impression is spot on

Anyone here from Jingles?

Segura doesn't know what he's talking about. i should know, I've been watching Steven Seagal movies for the last 68 years.

Segal is the prime example of someone who could be a cool dude if they took themselves less seriously. Honestly, that's the whole reason he's a meme.

Can we just take the time to appreciate the amount of good, charitable work Steven Seagal does? Kindly making a buffoon of himslef for the last 30 years, in order to give the world all these hilarious examples of his awesomeness!!!

Say what you will about Seagal-but truth is the man's a genius. He's the only person who single-handedly made pure Comedy and managed to somehow get all of it approved for the Action Film Genre.

The Skippy joke is underrated. That is a very solid joke.

Nearly every movie he's done since 2012 is him playing a spec ops and has to kill someone or rescue a girl

His Seagal impression is spot on

Thanks buddy. Best Steven Seagal impression ever. I laughed my A$$ off.

Steven seagal teaches cops hand to hand combat... no wonder they rely on their guns so much...

"I have been flying helicopters for like fourty seven years" dropped me off my chair 😂😂😂

Sorry I was late to the party, but thanks for roasting Seagal. Never gets old.

It never gets old! Thank you I laughed my ass off again and again.

This was so freaking comedic genius. Steven Segal even took credit for teaching UFC Anderson Silva's kick that knocked out Vitor Belfort.

I've been making cheese for like 103 years

This set is 🔥😂😂😂😂

This is the best bit I’ve ever seen or heard in my life. I’ve been watching Tom Segura for about 6 minutes and he’s officially the funniest person alive. I know this because I’ve been watching Tom Segura for 67 years.

holy shit this is good. the fact that his casual Steven Seagal moves are pretty much spot on is absolutely hilarious

"Kukido" is the martial art that enables you to avoid getting struck by an assailant, while discreetly checking his pockets for cookie dough.

Steven Seagal moved to Russia to teach the Russian army how to fight🤣

This is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in years. If you haven’t watched any of segals newer movies, good work you’re doing life right. But watch them cuz it’s hysterical

Well, i live in a small Russian town, and today i saw Steven Segal on a political advertisement pamphlet in my elevator, endorsing a local small time polititian. It says "I trust Michail". And i am not even making this up. After moving to Russia, he went downhill fast.

Entire bit is gold - for me, though, its the very subtle, yet masterfully executed impression of Stallone. *knock knock knock* "'Ey buddy roll it down".

I just binge watched all your Netflix specials last week. Can't believe I never knew how funny you are!

One of the best Steven stories is him getting taken by the mob and them telling him he needed to get at them like $100,000.00. After he agreed they let him go then they made fun of him because Steven was the only person at the “meeting” with a gun and he didn’t use it or even pull it.

Any of the dislikes on this video is all Steven Segal from different accounts LOL

Segal is so good at everything because he's a grandmaster in Bullshido.

That steven segal bit was AWSOME 😂

I’ve literally just watched a Segal movie where he spends the entire movie in one room sitting on a chair while you follow the other guy around for the story.

In the early to mid 2000s my brother was a line cook in a bar and grill restaurant. It was closing time. Steve Seagal and his band had just finished playing a gig in town. My brother's boss was literally locking up when Seagal & co. reached the doors. The boss told them they were closed but he said he ask the staff if anyone was willing to stay to serve them. He went back to the kitchen told everyone what was going on and that no one had stay. My brother and his co workers looked at each other and he said it was almost in unison they all said "I wanna go home." So the owner of the restaurant had to turn Steven Seagal & his band away and my brother came home and immediately told a house full of friends the story. We had a pretty good laugh about it. Not a single person was willing to stay late to meet Steven Seagal and get paid overtime as well. 😆