My answer to the harder part of dysphoria has been isolation. I know that is not the best possible answer but, it's the only one I have at this time. The more time I spend dealing with the public, the more I end up having to deal with how people perceive me. Even when people gender me correctly, I cringe. The moment I speak, it's easy to tell. I'm so tired of feeling seen, just to watch the look change on other people's faces when they realize that I am not exactly what they thought. I also feel like there is a lot of resentment towards me in those moments, because they seem to feel like they were tricked. That can make people angry or even violent, and that's the last thing I want.

For me, what you said about dysphoria getting worse as we become more aware of it rings so true. I didn't use to think that my dysphoria was very bad, but lately I have realised that I get both mild and severe dysphoria, from looking at myself in the mirror and only seeing a face that couldn't be more square to having difficulty lying in bed in a dark room because my whole skin is crawling and I'm so uncomfortable even feeling my own skin on the sheets. This video came at a very good point in time for me since the last couple of days have been the last mentioned type. I started HRT a couple of months ago and I am hoping this will to some extent help the dysphoria get a bit better. Thank you for your videos DR Z 💜

About a year ago I realised that I was suffering from gender dysphoria and had repressed it for years, because I had discovered the 'point of contrast' as you call it where wearing the opposite gender's clothes made me feel euphoric. And because of this point of contrast I finally realised just how badly I had been feeling for years, which made me feel even worse when the dysphoria sprung up again. At present I am being forced to hide aspects of my gender presentation for my own safety and stability. I am a 22 year old adult and I have to continue to use the same coping mechanisms since 12 years old in order to get through the day. Essentially I try to look at myself as little as possible. Legit in my early teens I could not stand to notice or see myself in any way, and hated every inch of my body. My sexual and personal development is blocked by dysphoria. Dysphoria frequently makes me unconfident or anxious in every-day situations and blocks me from having a good and authentic relationship with my sexuality. In other words it's a debilitating thing that I never wanted in my life, but it's there and I can't help it. But every-day people would rather believe it's a choice. And not only that, but they won't even accept small steps by the person to make themselves feel better. My family simply argues that 'not everything in life is pleasant or comfortable' and that me being this uncomfortable to have a decent living is better than having no money since supposedly no one will want to hire me. So they're basically saying that people like me don't deserve to like their body or have a sexuality, and just have to grind through the day in total disconnect and/or discomfort from their own selves.

Well my dysphoria was mild for years. like a nagging pain, which over time, living with it for so long - you kinda get used to it. I deep dived into work, and yes eating disorder was my life. But, then I spent time identifying as my authentic identity and tried to go back to my old ways, my old life. This sent me off the rails big-time, kicking my dysphoria way up from wild to high. (Trigger warning), it went so high, I planned out how to end it!Dysphoria is a batch - mild dysphoria is a ticking time bomb, which took me too the brink of destruction. I came to the conclusion that all my coping methods were a smoke screen! That for me to take control over my dysphoria, I needed to be true to myself and be my ture identity. This has kicked my depression and eating disorder to the kerbside and I have bags of energy left to put into more creative things. My true identity is my best life, it can be yours too!

I thought I didn't have any dysphoria dysphoria when my egg was still in the process of cracking but now I realize I've had it really badly as long as I can remember. I've had so many meltdowns were like this cold chill of despair just my inside and I felt like things will never be okay or right. It's been constantly on my mind and a lot of ways it's been worse since I figured out I'm a trans woman. But I also have better coping skills now that I understand myself but I understand what's fundamentally been wrong all this time. I'm going to be starting HRT next month. I sure hope that this gets a little milder over time at the very least, it can be really hard.

When I realized I was a trans girl in my early teens I told myself I couldm't transition, it's not right, it has to happen naturally, then I had this thought that maybe I could be the man many women want, because I knew what I would want in a man myself as a woman, this conviction was self destructive, none of it happened, I basically lived in a fantasy since then to escape from who I was. Dysphoria often comes in as a deep knowing that I live a false life, it is an existential knowing without even waiting for physical dysphoria to come in to remind me.

I always thought that my dysphoria was mild to moderate. After watching your video, I have come to realize that my dysphoria is moderate to severe. I've always considered myself more female than male, and over the years just to learned to 'cope' with it. Buried myself in work, projects, even going back to college as an older adult, and I was able to keep my dysphoria in check. Until...last year when I went through severe depression linked to remote work, and the death of 2 family members within 4 months. I could just barely drag myself out of bed for work, but knew I had to, so that I could provide for my family. I entered into therapy where it was determined that I have gender identity disorder. Even though I started HRT this year, I still thought my dysphoria was at best moderate. Until this video. You nailed it Dr. Z when you said that i"if you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror, that's severe dysphoria". Yep! That's me and always has been! Ever since I was a child, I could not stand to look at myself in the mirror. Even now, unless I'm presenting as female, I look in the mirror and see someone else looking back. That's not me, that's someone else. Yet when I'm presenting as female, I have no problem lloking in the mirror and seeing the woman that I am looking back! Thank you for a wonderful insightful video! 💗💗

I have battled these bouts of dysphoria depression since I was very young. I didn't understand them back then, I thought I was perpetually sad, forever. Even after I started my transition and HRT, I remember thinking "all would be well now", but this monster still rears its ugly head and attacks out of nowhere. Your timing is impeccable Dr. Z, for 3 days now I have been in a bad place. I tell myself I am working on it, making progress, doing what I need to do to move forward but it still overwhelms me. I am working through it again, but one day .... it will win I fear 💔

When I was a teenager, I used to have long wavy hair. Loved to look at myself in the mirror and take selfies. Then I hit my 20s and I started balding real fast after a difficult time of my brother dying and my girlfriend leaving me. I was so depressed for 10 years until I realized I am transgender, and always have been. Now I'm wearing wigs and looking into regrowing my hair with HRT and other procedures and I am finally getting more happy with the person I see in the mirror. I avoided my reflection for a long time, and it really struck a chord when you said that. Thank you for all of your wonderful advice, dr Z. You are very appreciated

Dr. Z not sure if I mention this in any of your past videos but a lot of your videos have helped me throughout the past couple years. Everyone has brought up great points to help me get a better understanding of myself and help me get through some things in my life. In my case I was trying to avoid my dysphoria. I've tried to live around the initial problem and never confronting the elephant in the room so to speak can really hit you hard if you do nothing about it . I would say it was about 2 years ago I got to a point in my life where I couldn't live with myself. I'm not suicidal by any means because I saw what it did to a buddy and his family when we were in highschool and I don't want anyone to ever have to go through that. 🥺 Saying that things got really dark for me. I got to a point to where I couldn't even get out of bed unless I absolutely needed to like for work or I forced myself to help somebody else out so that I wouldn't completely waste my life away. It was definitely not the way I wanted to live life but I didn't know what else to do because I never really talked to anybody about it. I've always known how I felt throughout my life. Everyday I wished I could completely be a girl but I knew that would never be a reality. I always thought I can never do anything about it so I had to just suck it up and " be a man".🙄 I never looked at myself in the mirror growing up. I can count how many times I've brushed my teeth on my fingers and toes till about the time I was 18 because to me when i looked in the mirror I didn't know who the person looking back at be was but it was a stranger. I despise shaving so much that I let my facial hair grow out to where I had a beard going on for almost 10 years. A lot of people ask me what I did to maintain it. I said I never did anything just let it grow out. At the time it was the lesser of the two evils. I'd rather not have to worry about how I looked then look at myself in the mirror and take care of myself. I'm 5'7 and at one point in time I weighed 243 lb because food was one thing that kept me going. Started wanting to take better care of myself so I started going to the gym to try to lose some of the weight and when I started to feel a little better about myself I would spiral back into my depression because of dysphoria and gain the weight back. Every time I tried to make a positive change in my life I would always self-sabotage myself in some way or another. I never planned for the future because I couldn't see myself to do anything for the future. Once I couldn't mask the overwhelming dysphoria, anxiety and depression I weighed out my options. Finally I talked to a therapist. Things started to feel like I was moving forward in my life instead of just living day by day. I've been on hrt for over a year now and it was definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life. My dysphoria has severely decreased. There are times where I feel like there's no trace of dysphoria on some days. There are still times where it bothers me so much that I just want to stay in my room and hide in my bed but those days are few and far between. My mental clarity has substantially increased. I'm a lot more focused with whatever task I'm doing. I feel like a completely different person now definitely for the better. I'm actually planning things and wanting to progress in life. There are still a lot of walls that I need to chip away at but every day I'll try to do something to progress forward. Even if it's just a small task that I was neglecting. Within the past year and a half I've completely changed my life around even with all the struggles going on in this world that one has no control over. I couldn't be happier just knowing that I'll eventually get to where I'm truly happy with myself completely. Still not presenting as the person I see myself as much as I'd love to but I think it's the best decision for me right now . I don't want to completely overwhelm myself too fast plus I feel that I would get a lot more negative feedback versus a positive but at of the end of the day I'm still me and that's never going to change . It doesn't matter who, what or how you are staying in negativity throughout live is never the answer. Not that I'm a perfectly happy-go-lucky person all the time but I'm working on that. 🤣 Thanks Dr. Z for all that you are doing for not just me but anyone that can get some guidance from your videos 🥰

I really want to thank you for this video! You are amazing. I'm crying so much. It really hits deep. I had a feminine awakening a week ago and so much is happening in me and your videos really helps.

This was a really good video for me it's given me a lot to reflect on. i don't think i'd classify myself as severe i certainly see myself in a lot of what you mention for coping, hate mirrors lol not to the point of removal just don't use them, coping has changed over the years, the majority of my life it's been preoccupying my mind with other things like work, avoided relationships like crazy, the past 10 years or so it's been getting more difficult. i do notice certain things that trigger me and not having a job to get up and go to every morning has made things worse so it weighs on my mind a lot more. as always thank you for your insights on this.

Always tell people it makes me feel like I never was really born. Like I'm getting a view of what life entails, like the things that go on in life but I'm not really alive. And what makes it sad is I'm getting just enough to know what I'm missing out on but not enough to be happy. It almost be like easier if I wasn't here because it'd be less distressful but I'm feeling a lot better now that I got FFS

most of the time I can cope by avoiding mirrors, wearing headphones so I don't hear my own voice, and wearing dresses and skirts instead of pants. But then I feel my facial hair starting to grow (and yes, I feel it growing now, I'm that aware of it lately) and I get a hit, or I see I need to shave my arms or legs again, or I have to talk to someone and my voice drops to its low pitch scratchy pattern from the higher pitch smoother one I can maintain when not under stress. Or there's a reflective surface somewhere. Heart rate goes up, breathing gets more shallow and rapid, I feel flushed, basically I start going into an anxiety attack and hyperventilating. It doesn't happen all that often, and usually doesn't last that long, but when out in public I can count on having a few such episodes per day lasting 10-15 minutes. And usually those are when already in medium to high stress situations like job interviews, the supermarket (the crowds and noise there trigger my social anxiety caused by my autism and reinforced by my gender dysphoria, those two feed off of each other a LOT). The cognitive behavioural therapy I had years ago to deal with social anxiety helped provide me with some mechanisms to reduce the impact of those attacks, but it can't completely take them away, at best can delay things until I can get out of the situation to a quiet spot where I can relax and calm down.

Your video was enlightening to me. I have struggled with gender dysphoria as long as I can remember. However, I didn't realize my level of pain. Your comment about not wanting to look at yourself in the mirror describes me to a t. I hate seeing my face. I hate looking at my body. I have felt that way for a long time.

The definition of my dysphoria is gender envy. It has always torn me apart as a child and now a 55yr old adult to see natural born women be able to dress and appear however they wish to make them happy with their own self image. Women are free to dress in both gender’s clothing and no one has a problem with it but as soon as a man puts on makeup and a dress 👗 people treat us like criminals

I've stayed in my home for the best part of 28 years, I hate my appearance and struggled with alcohol, that is until I came out as Transgender. I'm still dysphoric, I still hate my reflection and picture in photographs as well as this body that I inhabit, but im finally out and feeling better for it...I still have a long ways to go and pray that one day I can be the person, and that my body match the person, that I know I am inside. The waiting can be at times torturous, but I can at least see some light at the end of this dark tunnel! Your videos have helped immensely Dr.Z I thank you for this, you do our community proud! ❤ 👏

For me, I avoided my reflection as much as possible. I would shave my facial hair in the shower, kept my hair short so that I wouldn’t have to groom myself in a mirror. Even avoided reflections in glass surfaces. Felt uncomfortable and like I didn’t belong in men’s change room or bathrooms. This would let me cope with it for a while but it would eventually build up to a point where I would bail on everything in my life, job, housing, friends and ended up homeless, jobless while I dealt with my dysphoria by being a female as possible in private. The last bout of this started about 5 years ago and I came to the conclusion that I couldn’t keep doing this, that I would eventually not be able to recover. At this point I started experimenting with how far I needed to go to get it under control. After a few years I concluded that I needed to do it full time and be public about it. HRT was my saviour! The voice in my head (mine) telling me to bail again stopped almost the same day I started hormones. Now, I can look at myself in the mirror to style my hair, apply cosmetics etc. It’s not perfect yet because I haven’t completed my transition fully (waiting on surgery) but for the first time in my life I’ve been able to say “I like me”

I only just found your Channel and i appreciate what your doing here i am in between the two i would say moderate I struggle daily but not all consuming but mostly I deal with fears of not being able to meet my own desigers for how i want to look i watched your video about that as well I dont see alot of people doing what you do and it helps for poeple like me who cant manage to get access to therepy or proper treatmentsIi hate the US for thease reasons I really want to move forward but I dont have access to affordable care.

I love you Dr Z ❤

When I was an adolescent, I'd cover myself in a towel while I changed out of my clothes so I could get into the shower without seeing myself. When i got older I'd cry at the sight of myself, especially when my partners said how beautiful I looked. This struggle to look at myself while feeling deep sense of shame began with puberty and persisted well into my twenties. Eventually I got into therapy to address trauma I experienced as a child. I don't mean to trauma dump here, so to put it simply, I had experienced severe emotional neglect and some instances of sexual abuse. Knowing the developmental setbacks I was dealing with, I became determined to heal, to love my body. After several years in therapy, I'm proud to say I can look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed. But something is still undeniably off. There's still a distinct nagging of discomfort when I'm referred to as she, or girl, or one of the 'ladies'. Ugh, I hate that one. A lot of my childhood is hazy, but I distinctly remember feeling like I fit better among the boys than I did the girls, but never had the language or adult guidance to express it. For the last several years I've been identifying as gender fluid, but every once in a while this dysphoria will go from the very mild static noise to a blaring alarm. I don't know what to do about it because I don't hate the body I'm in - I even like it sometimes - but I can't tell if I've learned to cope with dysphoria by surrendering to the fact I'm in a female body, or if the distress was a lingering wound from sexual abuse. Lately I'm questioning my gender very intentionally and doing my best be patient with myself, but I'd be lying if I said it's not confusing and exhausting.

The migraine analogy is something I can relate to, since I've had cluster migraines from a young age. They very often shut me down completely, and since I'm resistant / allergic to painkillers, my only recourse is to lie in bed with the window shades drawn. When it comes to dysphoria, at first I didn't even think I had it or understood what it felt like. I figured I might be one of those trans people fortunate enough not to have to go through that. It wasn't until I embraced my trans identity that I discovered the treatment-resistant depression I've had since adolescence was very likely a symptom of gender dysphoria. The onset of the depression was the same as the migraines, which isn't a coincidence, as the two conditions can often be related. I have to wonder now if the cluster migraines are how the dysphoria physically manifests. Even if part of me wants to get up and start my day, my brain says otherwise and shuts me down. Conveniently, if I'm bedridden, I don't have to go out and face the public. It's not a conscious decision, to say the least.

Interesting. I think I have mild but your examples of not looking at yourself in the mirror I can relate too. I can force myself sure, but looking into my own eyes is super uncomfortable. I guess I'm curious of other people's experiences. Maybe I'm not aware of how bad it really is. Thank you for the giving me something to reflect on!

I started my trans journey with very low-moderate dysphoria, mostly social. I didn't even plan to pursue transitioning at first. But as I became more comfortable with my identity, my desire to live as my gender grew and so did my dysphoria. Its still only mild for the most part, but I now experience more dysphoria both physical and social. But I think for the first time I had what I thought was a rather severe case of dysphoria the previous week, I was feeling hopeless and very upset over my body and presentation, and was experiencing s*icdal ideation. It was also more severe when my dad rejected my identity after coming out to him, but there was an understandable cause for that time, this phase was kind of out of no where. I wonder if the dysphoria will continue to increase in severity until I take the next step to start HRT.

My dysphoria has been moderate through most of my life. I have found that as I progress through my transition, it is getting stronger. As I take steps and feel happier, it feeds the need to transition more. I'm 100% happier now that I'm in the process, but the ups and downs are much stronger.

Great video Dr.Z! Until today I never thought of GD as something that happens in episodes, but something constant and unbearable at the same time, because I'm the kind of person who needs (current scenario) two months of constant shoulder pain before finding a jusitifaction seing a doctor, when pain wakes me up in the middle of the night. Likewise, when It comes to GD, I put things on top (work, Sports, woodwoking, TV shows, books, simracing...) in order to prevent my mind from slipping into dysphoric thoughts, longings... And of course I deny any forma of romantic intimacy, as I know it will eventually strike again, and the odds of a bad outcome are simply huge, I don't go through that again, but at the same time I feel I've put my life on hold

I always thought I had mild dysphoria, but now I'm wondering if that was actually the case. I always avoided mirrors and having my picture taken. I've definitely become a lot more functional after getting it treated with hormones. I've always described my dysphoria as a nagging dread that drains my energy. My life has completely changed from just trying to survive to thriving and pursuing a biomedical engineering degree to improve bottom surgery for trans men. Hormones made the biggest difference, but top surgery was also a big deal. I feel confident and happy. I don't think I am as physically attractive presenting as masculine but my personality and attachment has become so secure and whole I'm sure my personality is more than making up for it.

I like my face and my voice and there are aspects of my body that I like but I have a medium build & curvy figure I'm not obese maybe slightly overweight and for me a lot of my dysmorphia dysphoria comes from my curves and so I'm on a low dose of tea I do worry about some of the physical unintended changes but I have waited so long and I feel like it's worth at least trying as a nonbinary person I don't intend to fully transition and in front of your videos to be very helpful during these confusing at times thank you

My dysphoria was severe. It took nearly dying of Takotsubo cardiomyopathy and the months in bed with nothing to do but think to finally accept it. I had severe debilitating pain and a dx of fibromyalgia. Hormone therapy took the pain away within 48 hours of my first dose. Looking at the mirror make feel nothing but disgust. On T, I feel neutral about myself. You are so right about it being a beast.

Painful, both physically and mentally. But, also somehow comforting at times. Because for 30 years I didn't have a name for it and buried or disassociated any part of my self that could have outed me in a passive manner. Also dysphoria can have odd tactile sensations.

I isolate... I feel immediate relief when no one can see or talk to me. if I can find a dark place, where my body can't be seen by me, or anyone else, is what helps. other than something that makes me sleep, so my brain turns off, I've got no other defense. It hurts so bad sometimes, and it's becoming every second of the day. I can't point to the place where it hurts, but it does. somewhere inside, it throbs and leaves no visible marks. Coping is a challenge. Public places are scary as hell. One negative comment, or leer, I shut down. I'm working with my therapist on this, but to this point I find it a waste of time and money. I feel no relief and having to relive moments with her, just causes me to go through all the negative side effects all over again. I'm at a loss. I thought I had this. so many years I've hid it, had everything under control. Now I can no longer keep it at bay. Not a fun existence.

The comments here make me feel SO fortunate. I'm m2f and I've been on HRT for 5 years now. I feel stupidly guilty that I'm probably not going to go much further, but ageing and urinary problems have inclined me to think I should leave well alone in that area. While I didn't like having male genitalia, I'm learning to live with that. So it could be MUCH worse, as many of you can attest... On the one hand, that feels like the sensible thing to do. If only I could just settle for sensible! I'm no oil painting, yet I can present in either guise without unmistakeable signs that I'm worrying other people/sheep/horses etc, and maybe I just need to be grateful for that, and stop obsessing about this. Pretty mild, huh?

Well, I had that day the breast dysphoria hit so hard I couldn't breath bc I couldn't stand my chest going up and down with the natural volume there, I was experiencing an anxiety crisis bc of this. This only alleviated when I weared my binder to hide them, then the anxiety went away and I could breath again... I think I never felt a dysphoria episode like this, before or after.

Thanks the heavens I've only experienced mild dysphoria omg!!

I sure have dysphoria, mild to moderate. Sometimes I have a glimpsy of what is severe dysphoria (which is somehow very similiar to my depression). Yes, I can cope, yes I can manage to deal with it. But I want to not have, I want to stop wasting my energy (sometimes most of my energy) trying to cope with it. Trying to hide that pain is hard

Over 90% of the day, dysphoria is with me. But I have taken to the coping mechanism of looking for the smallest thing I like about myself. Usually something like reminding myself that I have started the journey to transition or reminding myself that I am lucky that my work is supportive at least. Hearing my chosen name, my kids calling me Dad... any moment of gender euphoria that crosses my path. I hold onto it

My dysphoria has increased across the board within the last year. I now get episodes of severe dysphoria where I become totally unable to function for the rest of the day, and just lay in bed. The rest of the time it is more moderate. I am able to cope through strategies such tucking, wearing full make-up just to go outside, wearing clothes that cover my legs etc. Even at its mildest, dysphoria affects my life to the point that I feel locked out of important parts of life, like relationships. Life with this level of dysphoria isn't worth living. I am only able to keep going based on the hope medical/surgical interventions will reduce the dysphoria.

Well dang here I'm watching this thinking my dysphoria is mild to moderate, but uhh... I absolutely hated looking in the mirror my whole life, I was literally afraid of it. I avoided it as much as possible, to the point where self care like brushing my teeth started to fail. I also had never taken more than like 3 or 4 selfies my whole life. 33 years I was like this. And within a week of accepting I was trans, I was no longer afraid of my reflection, and I had dozens of selfies on my phone!

I have mild dysphoria I think. I can, for the most part, just deal with life as it is, as I have been most of my life. I ALSO have body dysmorphia too. I have never liked my body, my face, nothing about me I've ever liked. I do also have depression, I've had that since I was about 12-13. I just kinda trudge through the day with them all. I don't like looking in mirrors, I don't like my picture being taken, I avoid looking at myself in reflective surfaces. Being on meds has helped my anxiety (probably too much) and so all those issues have been tamped down, but they're still there. I want to be seen socially and physically as a male. That is my goal. Do I HAVE to do surgery, probably not, not. But I want it. I want to feel better in the meatsuit I have while I still can enjoy it.

I would say I been experiencing severe dysphoria for the most time and sometimes I can manage to a moderate level when I push myself to do work. And distract myself with other things. However, my dysphoria still comes up while I am working so I have to push it back and if not I will need to take a break.

I would say I have moderate dysphoria because I do like the way I look when I'm thinner and flatter it's really since I've gained weight and put on more curves that I've started having more body image issues I don't think I will opt for surgery perhaps somewhere down the line I'll get top surgery who knows it's too early to say at least for me

Well thanks, I guess I can recognize I have severe dysphoria. The issues with the mirror are exactly as described. I did have about two hours where I love the person in the mirror. A miracle worker did some makeup on me in high school and I couldn't stop looking for the rest of the day. I have never been able to look at my whole self since. Only now that I've recognized that I'm trans am I unable to look at all. I can even focus on a small part of my face.

Espetacular linda ♥️😘

I think my dysphoria ranges from mild at some points to moderate to severe at other points (usually for a few months at a time). I guess if I had to try and generalise my experience to one label I’d consider my dysphoria moderate, since while I think about it constantly, I’ve gotten used to it and it’s not debilitating for me personally.

i tend to downplay stuff a lot so i want to say it isnt severe, but its been many years since ive honestly wanted to go out for fun or to meet new friends.

I never really thought of my dysphoria as being either severe or less severe... it's always just sort of been there. But... the always is an important part of that last sentence. I have to be pretty happy, euphoric, or distracted to not feel it. I've actually been thinking about this a lot lately (Dr Z has a way of timing these topics perfectly for putting me in this position lol! and I know I'm not the only one) and the reason I've been thinking about it is I'm having FFS in two days. So I ask myself, do I really need it? Is my dysphoria severe enough for surgical intervention? My therapist thinks so. She sent a letter to the insurance company to help get me coverage. I also can't look in a mirror without feeling horrible and fighting the urge to kill it with fire. So that means I need it, right? It's such a nebulous thing, "needing" this surgery. Needing any gender confirming surgery. But if the fact that I can't look at my own reflection without having to fight my suicidal ideation means my dysphoria is actually pretty severe, then I guess need is the right word.

I have mild "dysphoria" and fix the main issues going full-time and removing facial hairs. Since my radical prostatecystectomy, a (very) severe "dysphoria" has started regarding my bottom aera. This is purely psychological as I haven't used my bottom parts for years. But the surgery changed my internal perception of my bottom area from something sleeping, but still usable to something dead, no more usable. This is a known side effect. The few trans women with radical prostatectomy go sooner or later for a form of GCS. Many men go in some sort of depression and even experience gender dysphoria. Fucking cost to survive from cancer.

I had mild dysphoria for all my life, but it could always be described as something else. " I only played with girls because most of my cousins are girls and that's who I felt comfortable with". A couple years later, after getting the message that I can't just play with girls, it was "I hate playing sports with boys because I hate my body" and "I hate my body because I am uncoordinated", "I can't be a boyfriend because I'm a nerd", there was always some excuse I could make to avoid the underlying thought "I HATE being a boy and wish I were a girl". Occasional cross-dressing and whole lot of gender bender content online was enough to keep "her" satisfied and I settled into living as a husband and father. But I suffered periodic depression and what I called "the black cloud of doom" that seemed to follow me everywhere. It was a couple years ago, during the pandemic, that my coping mechanisms started to fail. Hard. One of the key moments was flipping through one of my wife's catalogs and crying at all the pretty things that I would never be able to wear because I had THIS body. I sought out a therapist soon after and started transitioning soon after that. I quickly felt much better and the black cloud simply vanished.

I wondered for years why I was so depressed and why it felt that I couldn't fonction like other people, I couldn't go out and we I did it I did for a while and then isolated for months I always knew that I doubted about my gender identity but I never related gender disphoria as a cause of my behavior. one day I wake up at 5:30 am I took a shower, had breakfast and when I was leaving I look in the mirror, I saw myself and I went back to bed. I didn't go out for 3 months, now I understand why, but it's a pain in the ass, I still don't wanna go out.

Interesting what you said about looking in the mirror. When in male mode I barely look in the mirror at all, but when dressed as a woman I can barely *stop* looking in the mirror!

I'd say I'm in the mild to moderate category. I've struggled with this most of my life and I'm very tired of dealing with it. My dysphoria seems to be getting worse. Does this tend to get worse with age? Or maybe it's because I've finally accepted myself and I'm taking steps towards transition that I'm not wanting to deal with things that I've been able to in the past.

I tend to oscillate between mild and severe dysphoria depending on if it gets triggered by something. Probably 70 percent of the time I can handle what I get but 30 percent of the time I just straight up can't function.

**sobs because I have both dysphoria and migraines**

I definitely have severe dysphoria with my chest. I struggle to get dressed any time I have to wear a bra or binder. Binders help with the dysphoria a little, but my chest is too big for them to work properly, and I also have severe sensory issues, so then I'm physically uncomfortable all day. I've found the only way I can really cope is to wear an oversized hoodie or my poncho to hide them the best I can and try to forget they're there. I dissociate when I have to deal with them in the shower or when I'm changing clothes, and they hold me back from doing anything physical because of how uncomfortable they make me both physically and mentally with or without a bra/binder. My chest has literally controlled my life since at least 4th grade -- at least 18 years. I just wish I'd known top surgery was an option sooner, and I wish it wasn't so difficult/expensive to access.

Do you observe PTSD symptoms in patients who've lived for years or decades with undiagnosed severe dysphoria? I ask because my dysphoria has seemed mostly cured for the last several months, but today someone said something that made me question how they read my gender and history (in a context where I'm stealth). I suddenly feel fundamentally unsafe in my body the same way I used to. It feels like I'm right back in the nightmare. I have PTSD symptoms from abuse as a child, and know what those emotional flashbacks are like. This feels really similar. I think it's worse though because the trauma went on for so many years and I can't be certain that the threat is gone.

I think the problem with quantifying GD is that we can be describing one of two things, perhaps in some instances both. These seem to be: 1) The number of GD triggers 2) The severity of the discomfort felt once triggered. So for me it seems that my number of triggers are low (for example, I don't have an issue looking at myself in a mirror) but the severity of my experience once my GD is triggered is extreme (I withdraw and tumble into deep depression and neglect myself horrifically)

I literally spent the last 4 days in bed because I was so traumatized that I had to go out in men's clothes the other day. Since I started transitioning, all I have worn is women's clothes. I am a nomad though and made the mistake of moving temporarily to an early winter state. I don't currently own any women's winter clothes. However, I was also out of water and had to go into town to get water. So, either I freeze my a$$ off in my normal clothes or I put on my old clothes. Well, I put on my old clothes, went to town, got the water and some supplies, then came back to my travel trailer in the woods. That night I completely broke down, freaking ugly crying and lost it! I felt like I had betrayed myself and everything. That was Monday. I got out of bed today around 4pm. I would say my dysphoria is severe.

❤❤❤

This video made me realize I do have dysphoria. I can't really stand my face in the mirror most times.

This summer I got to the point of not coping anymore and called for an appointment to a specialist. In my country, it is a sexuologist and also it means, you'll get diagnosis and care as you're ill. I hesitated for about two years but as I said, this summer dysphoria went so bad, I just had to do this. The term of my visit is tommorow. And each day it got closer, the weaker and milder my dysphoria seemed to be. I don't understand what kind of mechanism this is. I'm sure about myself and yet as if something tries to stop me. Is it some superego, telling me, that actually I can cope forever, that it's not THAT bad, that I can try more and just make it in my AGAB? (I'm not listening to it anyway, but it's strange)

When we say physical or "BODY" dysphoria, does that include the face? Like can it mostly be the face? Cause I find mybody to be pretty feminen passing its the face that makes me sooo dysphoric, even tho I know its a healthy face it just doesnt signal the gender that I want it to signal to others

This made me realize that when my crappy parents are away from home I can stop dissociating (daydreaming, in my case), which makes me aware of my real body in the real world. The dysphoria kicks in then, and so I feel like crap even though I should feel better that my parents are away for a while. I thought it could be me trying to get a breather and cope with my emotions after the bouts of abuse, but in other situations I cope better. Therefore, when I'm too aware of reality, my gender dysphoria spikes up Btw I'll be seeing a gender expert soon

For me it is severe when I look at where I am and where I want to go, if it feels impossible I am in a severe way, if I feel I can get there then mild…idk if that is a good way to look at it or not…

Metaphorically speaking it's like being left-handed in a society where you only get to use your left hand if you cut off your right arm. I've kept my left hand in my pocket so much it fell asleep and is painful to take out. Meanwhile my right hand has developed to the point I am basically ambidextrous. On the good days I am alone enough to ignore the rules but at the end of the bad days... Is use of both hands really too much to ask?

I think that over the course of my life I’ve varied between mild dysphoria to pretty severe dysphoria. Today I had mild dysphoria - I saw myself in the mirror, I didn’t like it, and it put me in a bad mood for like an hour. Pre transition? I had depressive episodes that were so intense, my mum was sitting next to me in bed, trying to make me eat or drink anything because I just couldn’t. Even after starting antidepressants, it got to the point where I started making plans to commit suicide every week.

I was at a event and a woman referred to me as the wrong gender then asked after she realized if it was "she or they"? Fucking hurt, I've done everything I can and still it's not good enough. It's like that, ill be living my life than suddenly I'll remember what I was born as or ill think of my face and it's just over. I just wanna leave the campus or work. Just drop everything. I can't do it. I've barely pushed through for years. Wearing cloths helps but it's not enough. I don't really know what to do anymore.

I have mild to severe dysphoria. usually I can control it. I've dealt with this off and on since I was 13. I'm now 55., since I've started dressing again, my dysphoria has increased in intensity when mot dressed. I hate seeing myself in the mirror and dive into work. I know I cant hide from it anymore.

I really *want* a chest like Tyler Joseph (though he is cis) or Elliot Page. However, I'm *not expecting* anything close. For one thing, I'm overweight and can't really exercise before surgery because of my chest curses. I also don't have Elliot's money or resources. My main goal is getting rid of them so that I don't have these bags of fat weighing me down and holding me back anymore. As long as I can get that, I'll be okay. That said, I have had a bad experience with a general plastic surgeon when I had a reduction many years ago, so I am also very carefully researching to find a good surgeon. The struggle is finding one in my insurance network.

But what if i don't have dysphoria but still kinda sorta wish i was a woman? (I mean sure, i can't stand to look at myself in the mirror (especially before showering) for too long but i mean my body doesn't "feel wrong")

Thank you for your mail and your videos that means a lot for me and much other people and . I Thinks this isue that have been my biggest was this day i lose my hair when i was in 20 years age i is almost 50 now and that have was hard for me cant not say it in a other way. That i lose my hair was my hardest things this time i grow my hair to be long and feminine . Also all this bad people that will destroy you becose you are not like them is hard . I have was suicidle mostly of my life and i cant understand how i have get so old but that is the life. luckely so can people transplte hair go to a specialist and have hair follicles inserted. and all this other things and wigs is a good things. I hope this day to day i will start my transision man to female . I want stay in life and fight to all of you been just stonger for every day .

I think mine might be intermediate because I can get out of bed but the mirror is my enemy... My friend's is very severe

I would like to have stronger dysphoria then I would have no doubt Im trans

severe dysphoria = debilitating as fuck!